One of the many finer subtleties of using computers is that one must be adept with the mouse and the keyboard in order to be proficient in the use of this perfunctory technology set to photosynthesize the astronomical intentions of computers. First, we will discuss the intricate nature of computers. Then, we will discuss Ichigo, the prime example of what computers can create. Finally, we will end our discussion with a brief overview of how great Apple Computer LLC is.

But first, the intricate nature of computers. As you and I both know, AMD is the soul supreme captain of all computers. AMD leads the industry in its trend setting and amazing factorization technology that leads to the creation and inspiration of hundreds of thousands of silicon transistors worldwide. Through AMD’s unique engineering effort, they follow Intel and lead the industry at every single step of the way. They don’t let anything stop them. They come up with fancy marketing names like Ryzen and Threadripper, which are totally way more cool than stupid lake names like Lame Lake, Stupid Lake, and Tea Lake, all of which are Intel’s lake names because Intel likes water because that’s all they’re good for: polluting water. In fact, that’s why Intel is so bad. Anyways, AMD is the best. Next, the intricate nature of operating systems. As you and I both know, Windows is very easy to use and very hard to use for a long time without accidentally murdering 6.7 million people in South Central Sudan. This is because Windows uses many files like “system” and “dynamic link library” files to do its job. If you accidentally open a system file or put a virus in a “dynamic link library” shelf, you could infect the Windows and lead to the corruption of the entire system. This, of course, would unleash hundreds of thousands of corrupt robots on South Central Sudan, destroying millions of lives. This is why it is necessary to reinstall Windows on a regular basis — to prevent the robot invasion and subsequent destruction of South Central Sudan. Why don’t more people use Windows phone? The simple fact of the matter is that Windows Phone usage would dramatically increase the odds of murdering each and every person in South Central Sudan, because smartphones are way more popular than traditional computers. When Gates said he wanted a computer in every household, he had no idea that smartphones would take off and cannibalize the market in such a way that would leave Microsoft with an insignificant market share and an infinitesimal amount of influence whilst Apple and Google ran around with Microsoft’s daughter, tablet computing, and had their way with her, ensuring that Microsoft could never look her in the eyes ever again. Their second daughter, Surface, could never even come close to the capability of their first daughter, which ended up becoming the iPad.

Next, I’d like to talk about Ichigo. In anime, we have lots of different characters. Most anime uses a thing called an archetype to portray a character that’s a standard template in a slightly different way for the purposes of the story. This usually leads to the fact that there are characters like “big boobs girl” and “tsundere” and “yandere” which are all different character models of which Ichigo is none. Ichigo actually has fucking emotions, something you don’t see in most anime, and she actually seems to have the ability to grow and progress as a character. This is in complete contrast to Hiro, who is a self light novel protagonist who has absolutely no capacity to change or improve because he represents the audience. The audience in this case is young Japanese men who intend to have no wives or girlfriends because they know that their favorite girl in the show — Zero Two — is actually a representation of their idyllic girl in every way shape and form. Meanwhile, men with taste appreciate the fact that Ichigo isn’t one cut from the traditional model of big boobs or being so absolutely crazy that she has no personality whatsoever other than her murderous intent to kill every person in the show including the main character. In addition, Ichigo has blue hair. This is scientifically proven to make her more intelligent and more relatable than all other non-blue haired girls in anime. As such, we have to give her credit for being smart and intelligent. Next, she is short, which is good. She is also voiced by a new voice actor, which means that from a directing perspective, she is likely to have a lot of screen time so as to give the new voice actor a chance to “hit it off with the audience” and go on to voice act as every other character in all new anime to come out in the future — effectively cementing her role in a 600 volume shonen manga aimed at young fifteen year old Japanese men. Always, so Ichigo is actually created by computers. Yes, computers. This is because it takes way too much time to animate things by drawing each panel over and over again and making slight changes. This would take absolute months to create one episode of the show. Instead, they make her in several different “keyframes” which are then animated through software and then turned into the pure representation of femininity and the ideal to which we should judge all women, Ichigo. We then use this model to refer to other people in our lives, such as Akuma, and then compare her to our idealized model of all women. Perfect. Also, women are better than men.

Last, we talk about Apple. This is because Apple was created because they wanted to have a good computer that everyone could use, not just people who had a dildo up their ass like IBM did. So, we use Apple. Apple made the iPhone, which took Windows Phone out in the back and shot it so hard that it never woke up again. Then, it took Windows out back and killed it too, that’s why nobody uses Windows anymore. Modern apps like Snapchat and Tinder make it possible to live more rambunctious lives than ever because of the iPhone of which Apple invented. Apple also gives out really cool stickers with all of their products, which makes it possible to show your appreciation for Apple by putting white stickers that are very hard to remove on the cars owned by supporters of the moron in chief, Donald Trump. Make sure to cover up as many NRA and “don’t tread on me” stickers with your Apple stickers. The irony that you got your Apple stickers from a capitalist organization will be lost on them, but will definitely be known to you.

In conclusion, we have surmised how computers have shaped the world we live in, how amazing Ichigo is, and how funny it is to piss off Trump supporters by sticking Apple Stickers over their crappy stickers that support things like killing people and harming women. Therefore, we know conclusively that all Trump supporter are evil, all women are better than men, and that Ichigo is our supreme overlord, and she forced me to write this at gunpoint.