Uh-hmmm

Cold Edge Anon Part 8

Apr 29th, 2014
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  1. > You wake up, momentarily disoriented by everything.
  2. > Part of you was just rolling with everything because you thought you might be dreaming.
  3. > The rest of you rolled with everything because that's your modus operandi.
  4. > Now, as you slowly get to your hooves, you start to wonder at the wisdom of helping a powermad unicorn fashion a kingdom out of magic and traded favors.
  5. > Thing is, it's not like he's unlikable. In fact, he's killed fewer people than the pony you were using for a pillow.
  6. > That is an absurd sentence.
  7. > Point still stands, it's better to be steering than braking on this crazy train.
  8. > You step out onto a balcony in your ice mansion, and appreciate the view.
  9. > You built on the line between the snow buffer and the meltfields. The sharp division pleases you on a deep, aesthetic level.
  10. > Oh hey, it's Hombre, time for work.
  11. > The unicorn calls up to you,
  12. "I hope the morning finds thee well, cousin. Hast thou broken thy fast?"
  13. > You resist the urge to reply with elaborate sarcasm.
  14. "Nay, Tombrarine, I hath not, for this land is yet barren."
  15. > You only belatedly realize that you actually called him by the wrong name.
  16. > For his part, he merely looks irritated.
  17. "I admonish thee, though our acquaintance hath not surpassed a day by altogether too much, e'en so, ye shouldst recall that mine appellation is Sombra. If ye are unsure, do not hesitate to refer unto me as thy cousin, as I hath done unto thee. At times and places private, I shall provide my name upon thy asking. "
  18. > You get the feeling that you are not the first to receive this speech.
  19. "Forgive me, Sombra. I believe thou didst mention morning repast?"
  20. > Sombra nods.
  21. "It hath risen to my notice that ye are not as I, preserved from the ravages of hunger."
  22. > Are... are you dealing with some kind of lich?
  23. "Thy words do incite mine curiosity. How didst thou perform such an transmutation , yea and survive?"
  24. > Jimbob just sits there, silent for a good five minutes.
  25. "I hath not the faintest clue."
  26. > And this is the would-be king.
  27. > You facehoof.
  28. "As thou wast saying?"
  29. > Lombre coughs.
  30. "Indeed, my purpose in speaking unto thee at this time is to shew unto thee where the crops are, that thou mayest supervise the planting thereof."
  31. > You are lead to a nearby cave, where you find a sizable stash of crystal fruit.
  32. > While you eat your fill, you start to wonder about some things.
  33. "From whence did ye obtain such a larder?"
  34. "At times and at seasons, I did plunder the convoys of the usurper."
  35. > ...
  36. "Which thing ye shall no longer do, having been recognized as a fellow sovereign."
  37. > You say firmly.
  38. "Which thing I shall no longer do, having been recognized as a fellow sovereign."
  39. > Bombra repeats dutifully. You continue your questioning.
  40. "If thou hast had these for many a year, then why hath ye not sown, nor harvested? There hath been time sufficient for substantial increase."
  41. > Sombriana Jones Sr. stares at you like the Nazis have the grail diary.
  42. "Such labor is beneath the dignity of nobility such as thyself and myself. Hence my desire for summoned help, or failing that, an enslaved workforce."
  43. > Oh yeah, this guy is still kinda villainous.
  44. "Heed my words, Sombra, for this purpose was I set over you. Thou shalt not esteem thyself a master, for thou hast not yet earned thy leadership. Yea, and to earn thy leadership, thou must persuade free ponies to follow thee, without coercion, nor falsehoods, nor careful omission. Let thine enemies fear thee, but ye must strive to rule such that thy subjects love thee."
  45. > Gombrabunta looks at you uncertainly.
  46. "Why dost thou deny thy station? Our prowess is unmatched save it be by alicorns and demiurges. E'en as they rule over us, and obtain tribute by our labor, so shall I deal with mine own subjects."
  47. "I do not argue the practice of taxation, Cousin. Rather, that ye divide ponydom into classes, that a task be beneath thee, yet suitable for another. A task that is beneath thee shouldst only be equal to the mindless, the machine, the golem. Let e'ry pony, every dragon, every thinking being be alike in dignity."
  48. > Claponbra scowls.
  49. "Is thy meaning that I must live as a servant, ere I rule? How many menial tasks must I accomplish before ye think me worthy of the throne I have wrought of my will alone?"
  50. > You shake your head.
  51. "It mattereth not what nor how many task ye do perform, only that ye are willing to labor alongside any of thy subjects. Dost thou acknowledge Celestia's supremacy?"
  52. "... Yea, for her will and power are unmatched by any one pony in the realm."
  53. "Thou also spoke of following the pattern of her rule. Know ye this, Celestia doth not differentiate betwixt ruler and servant; she doth consider herself both at once, for to rule is to serve, and to serve all is to rule all."
  54. > Thumbralina isn't buying it.
  55. "Think upon it, Sombra. "
  56. > He walks out of the cave, a troubled look on his face.
  57. > He stops outside the cave, and looks at his citadel in the distance.
  58.  
  59. > You join him, and he says,
  60. "Think ye not that I doubt thou, but I wish to speak with the Sun's Warden, for thy words do run contrary to the way of ruling, such as I know it."
  61. > That's better than you expected, actually.
  62. "That is easily arranged. Discord, wilt thou convey us unto the palace?"
  63. > The old goat-dragon stepped out from behind a rock.
  64. "Really, Anonymous, I should charge for my transport services. It's always " Discord, I want a kingdom, Discord, know any hot mares, Discord I'm hungry. It's enough to drive a pony mad."
  65. "Would you rather watch us take a long carriage ride to Canterlot?"
  66. > Discord rolls his eyes.
  67. "Of course not, but a little acknowledgement every now and then would be nice."
  68. > VonBrown glances as you, then bows graciously towards Discord.
  69. "I thank thee in advance for thy most excellent transportation, yea, I believe I o speak for Anonymous as well that we count thee as a brother, bound under the same master, alike in station."
  70. > You hesitate, then bow as well.
  71. > Discord clutches his chest.
  72. "What feeling is this? Why is love filling my being? Could it be the warmth of brotherhood?"
  73. > A light begins to shine from between his claws. Simultaneously, another light from your forehead, and another from the front right shin of Qwopbro.
  74. > Discord continues his overdramatic ramblings.
  75. "Anonymous, who pointed out how boring watching a carriage would be, is the element of... Reason!"
  76. > The light on your forehead flashes, and leaves behind a silver circlet with a stylized amethyst eye in the middle.
  77. "Sombra, who got it on with the bug queen, is the element of... Suggestibility!"
  78. > The light on Zero Suit Sombrus flashes, leaving behind a stylized quartz bottle on an anklet.
  79. "Those elements are ignited by the spark that is within us all, the element of Impulsiveness!"
  80. > Discord opens his paw/claw and reveals a tattoo of a brohoof with an explosion behind it. The fire is composed of rubies embedded in his skin.
  81. "Come, brothers! There is one in Canterlot who needs our help!"
  82. > You glimpse Dobro's startled expression before space goes Violet Beauregarde.
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