Garble Ices a Bro (funny/nsfw)

Sep 16th, 2013
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  1. >Be Garble, the most awesome dragon ever
  2. >Wake up and admire my quads in the mirror
  3. >And my bi's and my 6 pack
  4. >Flex
  5. >Belch fire and melt some of the roof of my cave
  6. >Molten rock drips on my head
  7. >Use it to smooth out my head scales
  8. >Like a baus
  9. >God, I'm hot
  10. >I'd fuck the shit out of me
  11. >Feel 'little me' begin to notice too
  12. >Much as I'd love to jack it in the mirror again, I have shit to do today
  13. >Been planning it all week
  14. >Go to the back of my cave
  15. >Have a bottle of pony cider crap stashed here
  16. >Here we go
  17. >'Shetland Ice'
  18. >I tried one of them it was awful
  19. >But some griffin told me about this
  20. >If you go up to one of your bros and shove a bottle of it in their face
  21. >They gotta get down on one knee and drink it
  22. >He said its called 'icing a bro'
  23. >I was like 'fuck yea, I'll ice my fucking bros'
  24. >I bought a six pack from him
  25. >Plan on icing one a month
  26. >Every time they drop their guard, BAM, Ice a bro!
  27. >Today is gonna be the first one
  28. >Gotta make it good
  29. >Fly out of my cave with an Shetland Ice in claw
  30. >Thinking about who to ice
  31. >First time needs to be epic
  32. >Gotta play it right
  33. >Can't waste it
  34. >So not that faggot Fizzle
  35. >He'd like this shit
  36. >So that leaves the other 4
  37. >Grumple is too stupid
  38. >Vex too
  39. >That leave Baff and...
  40. >Spear
  41. >Fucking perfect!
  42. >He'll be all stoned and confused and I'll make him drink
  43. >Perfect plan by the perfect alpha dragon!
  44. >Make it to the volcano
  45. >Swoop down like the king of awesome I am
  46. >Land on a floating rock
  47. >Splash lava on the rest of them
  48. >They start bitching but my aura of awesome shuts them up quick enough
  49. >Damned right
  50. >I wouldn't wanna have to smack a bitch today
  51. "Sup faggots?"
  52. >Vex rolls his eyes but whatever
  53. >Talk shit, get hit, Vex
  54. "I got a surprise"
  55. >Fizzle looks up a little too fast
  56. >God he's a fag
  57. >Grumple too
  58. >Idiot
  59. >Spear is the only one who hasn't really said or done anything
  60. >He's laying on a rock staring at a cloud
  61. >Keeps giggling
  62. >Perfect
  63. >"What is it now, Garble?"
  64. "Shut the fuck up Vex, this ain't about you"
  65. >"Whatever, hurry up we got shit to do"
  66. >Yea you better back off, asshat
  67. >Strut on over to Spear
  68. >He's still snickering at the clouds
  69. "Hey bro?"
  70. >Spear leans up a little and coughs
  71. >I grin
  72. >Thrust the bottle in his face
  73. "You've just been ICED, bitch!"
  74. >I laugh
  75. >Nobody else does
  76. >Oh yea they don't know what's going on
  77. "You see, cause I gave him this bottle, he has to drink it. Its a Griffin game and he--"
  78. >The other dragons are chuckling
  79. >I can't fucking believe it
  80. >No fucking way
  81. >Spear is grinning and holding another bottle of Shetland Ice
  82. >Where the...
  83. >How the...
  84. "....FUCK!"
  85. >Vex, Grumple and Baff are laughing
  86. >Fuck even Fizzle
  87. >How the hell did they know?
  88. >"Heheheh, drink up, Garble"
  89. "No, fuck that, someone told you! They musta, that's violation of bro code!"
  90. >"No way dude..."
  91. >Spear takes a puff of some shit
  92. >He laugh-wheezes-coughs out some smoke
  93. >"I counter-iced, you gotta drink 'em both"
  94. >I grit my teeth in anger
  95. >I'm so pissed, someone clearly fucking dimed me out
  96. >Who would have the balls?
  97. >"Hey if you're a little bitch and don't wanna..."
  98. "Shut up, Spear, I'm thinking!"
  99. >"You need to be drinkin' heheheheh"
  100. >The other dragons laugh again
  101. >I'm gonna kick all their asses later
  102. >But right now I'm stuck
  103. >If I don't drink that gross shit I won't be a bro
  104. >But They clearly cheated so--
  105. >"Hey if you don't wanna....hehehehehe you can suck my dick!"
  106. >The dragons laughed harder
  107. >Well except Fizzle he got all embarrased
  108. >But fuck him
  109. >Fuck all of them, they wanna see how dedicated I am to being a bro
  110. >I'll show them
  111. "Fine, lets go!"
  112. >Silence
  113. >What?
  114. >"Wait you...wanna....right here?"
  115. >I could see Spear's eyes get wide even under his facescales
  116. "That's how much of a fucking Bro I am. I'd rather suck your cock than drink that shit!"
  117. >More silence
  118. >You could hear the lava bubbling
  119. >These fucking pansies, they'd actually DRINK the Ice!
  120. >That's why I'm alpha dragon!
  121. "Come on, lets go"
  122. >I get on my knees and force Spear's legs open
  123. >His little bro is poking out
  124. "Hey guys, look how much of a faggot Spear is, this is turning him on!"
  125. >I get some nervous chuckles
  126. >Guess they're still too stunned to notice how gay Spear is being
  127. >Whatever, bros gotta do what he's gotta do
  128. >"Garb don't need to...I was just kiaaaahhhhh!"
  129. >Put my mouth right on his little bro
  130. >Suck it right into my mouth
  131. >He's hard in a second
  132. >God, when did all my friends become gay?
  133. >A real bro wouldn't be able to get hard
  134. >He must be high
  135. >Not that it changes anything
  136. >I look up and Spear is laying back with his mouth hung open
  137. >Really enjoying himself
  138. >Bet he'd love it if I ran my tongue along his cock
  139. >Like this
  140. >" that yea..."
  141. >He puffs his smoke
  142. >I feel his other hand touch my head
  143. >I smack it away
  144. >Come on, don't make this gay
  145. >Bad enough his pre tastes good
  146. >Not that I'm slurping at his cock tip or something
  147. >But I can't give him a shit blowjob or they'll make me drink that disgusting crap
  148. >I grab his hips and push my maw down on his junk a little further
  149. >I hear him moan
  150. >Taste more of his pre
  151. >I need to up my game to hurry him along
  152. >Before one of those other faggots want a taste of it
  153. >Fucking queers
  154. >I push his cock deeper down my throat and swallow
  155. >He almost thrusts into my mouth
  156. >But I'm a lot stronger than him and I keep him pinned to his rock
  157. >This isn't about him anyhow
  158. >It's about me doing whatever it takes not to be iced like a bitch
  159. >I grab between his legs and squeeze where his balls are
  160. >Maybe that'll get him going
  161. >That damned weed is making him last forever
  162. >Take what isn't in my mouth and start jerking
  163. >I hear one of the other dragons clear their throat
  164. >They must be uncomfortable
  165. >Good, they need to be
  166. >I proved who's a dragon and whos a fucking faggot today
  167. >Spear is moaning louder
  168. >His wings are even flapping against the rocks
  169. >His legs keep shivering so he must be close
  170. >Dunk my head on his throbbing little member again
  171. >Swirl my tongue around it
  172. >Squeeze the base
  173. >Just like when you eat a really tasty gem
  174. >No big deal
  175. >Makes sense it would be easy for me
  176. >Bro dragons are good at everything
  177. >Even gay shit if it means avoiding gayer shit
  178. >I close my eyes and snort fire all over his crotch
  179. >That does it
  180. >Feel some warm sticky juice start spraying my throat
  181. >It tastes kinda good so I swallow it down
  182. >Sides, I don't wanna hear any bullshit that I didn't swallow so it doesn't count
  183. >Really don't feel like choking a bitch today
  184. >Spear grunts one more time then sighs, completely spent
  185. >Just to be a douche I lick his cock one more time
  186. >Make him spaz out
  187. >What a fucking trip he is
  188. >I stand back up now, wipe my lips and grin
  189. >The other dragons are still staring
  190. >Fizzle is hiding behind a rock with his mouth wide open
  191. >"Garble..."
  192. >Vex waddles over like the fat fuck he is
  193. >"...did you just....for real? Right here?"
  194. "Damn straight I did! And would you believe this faggot actually came! A real bro would never finish from a blowjob challenge!"
  195. >"That's not...not what I....ummm..."
  196. "Pfft, whatever. Maybe one day you'll be as hardcore as I am when it comes to dodging an Ice."
  197. >Stretch, crack my back
  198. >Big badass wingspan
  199. >Oh shit, I musta saw myself on some of those shiny rocks
  200. >Cause I'm rock fucking hard
  201. >Makes sense I mean
  202. >Who wouldn't feel dead sexy after proving how much of a bro they were?
  203. >Hell those other dragons are in such awe
  204. >They're staring at me
  205. >I wanna be mad but I'd fuck me
  206. >I'm that badass, of course, who wouldn't wanna fuck me?
  207. "You faggots looking at something?"
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