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- 0
- 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:14,406
- "You are not alone.
- Conflict is coming."
- 2
- 00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:16,808
- That is the message
- we received.
- 3
- 00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:19,094
- Conflict? Is that a threat?
- 4
- 00:01:19,095 --> 00:01:21,346
- No, sir. It's
- more like a warning.
- 5
- 00:01:21,379 --> 00:01:25,584
- This message was sent to us by a
- friendly alien race known as Antarians.
- 6
- 00:01:25,617 --> 00:01:26,735
- They wanna help us.
- 7
- 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:27,853
- Do we need help?
- 8
- 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,257
- The Antarians aren't the
- only ones to have found us.
- 9
- 00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:33,593
- Enemies are already
- on their way.
- 10
- 00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:35,695
- Luckily,
- it's a great distance,
- 11
- 00:01:35,727 --> 00:01:38,797
- and it will take many years
- before they can reach us.
- 12
- 00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:41,834
- The Antarians
- have offered us a gift,
- 13
- 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:46,706
- this unique suit of power that one
- person will wear as our champion.
- 14
- 00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:51,177
- It will take many decades
- to transport that suit to us
- 15
- 00:01:51,209 --> 00:01:53,211
- so we have selected a child
- 16
- 00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:57,716
- gifted with both incredible
- intelligence and athletic prowess.
- 17
- 00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:00,552
- He will spend
- his entire life training.
- 18
- 00:02:00,585 --> 00:02:05,191
- We will push him to achieve perfection,
- and then improved perfection.
- 19
- 00:02:05,224 --> 00:02:09,395
- And after perfection is achieved,
- we'll double the score.
- 20
- 00:02:09,427 --> 00:02:14,400
- As he grows more mature, we'll
- test him in every way imaginable.
- 21
- 00:02:14,432 --> 00:02:18,905
- We will prepare him for anything
- the universe can throw at him.
- 22
- 00:02:23,508 --> 00:02:24,743
- Yah!
- 23
- 00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:28,915
- Aahhh!
- 24
- 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:34,253
- One final question,
- what if this champion fails?
- 25
- 00:02:34,286 --> 00:02:37,757
- Sir, are you familiar
- with the Greek hero Perseus?
- 26
- 00:02:37,789 --> 00:02:41,426
- When Perseus was sent forth
- to defeat the Gorgon,
- 27
- 00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:44,597
- he was armed with four gifts
- from the heavens:
- 28
- 00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:46,932
- The helm of Hades...
- 29
- 00:02:47,932 --> 00:02:51,670
- the winged boots
- of Hermes...
- 30
- 00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:55,808
- the shield of Athena...
- 31
- 00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:59,278
- and the sword of Zeus.
- 32
- 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,584
- And with the power
- of these gifts combined,
- 33
- 00:03:05,651 --> 00:03:07,920
- Perseus was victorious.
- 34
- 00:03:07,953 --> 00:03:11,790
- Sir, our Perseus,
- our Champion of Earth,
- 35
- 00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:14,794
- will not fail...
- 36
- 00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:18,330
- because he
- will not know how to.
- 37
- 00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:31,693
- Perfect score, sir.
- 38
- 00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,846
- Good. Training's over.
- 39
- 00:03:33,878 --> 00:03:39,585
- Soon, the entire universe will know
- the full potential of the human race.
- 40
- 00:03:39,718 --> 00:03:43,722
- LAZER TEAM
- Subrip: Pix
- 41
- 00:03:45,991 --> 00:03:48,695
- Country music
- 42
- 00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:07,980
- Hey there, Gloria.
- Going kind of fast.
- 43
- 00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:10,516
- Don't make me
- run you in.
- 44
- 00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:15,388
- God,
- I hate Friday nights.
- 45
- 00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:23,061
- What a night here at Milford
- Stadium, where the Mustangs
- 46
- 00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:25,965
- are up by 21 points with
- two minutes left on the clock.
- 47
- 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,903
- Ladies and gentlemen, with us tonight,
- former Milford MVP, Herman Mendoza.
- 48
- 00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:33,005
- The Texas Tornado!
- 49
- 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,073
- Stand up, Herman.
- 50
- 00:04:34,105 --> 00:04:36,576
- If he can stand.
- 51
- 00:04:37,776 --> 00:04:39,845
- I know that guy.
- 52
- 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,913
- Remember, no open
- containers there, Herman.
- 53
- 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,083
- He doesn't need to be messing with
- the fire water, I can tell you that.
- 54
- 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:46,618
- Herman Mendoza has been known
- to puke a little bit.
- 55
- 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,622
- Where's Mindy? Mindy!
- 56
- 00:04:52,124 --> 00:04:55,094
- The cheerleaders are leading cheers,
- everything seems to be spelled correctly,
- 57
- 00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:57,463
- the hot dog vendors are vending hot
- dogs, and I'll tell you one thing,
- 58
- 00:04:57,495 --> 00:05:00,765
- the commentators are commentating.
- Wouldn't you agree, Wink?
- 59
- 00:05:00,798 --> 00:05:02,200
- Yup.
- 60
- 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:03,601
- It feels right!
- 61
- 00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:04,769
- Water?
- 62
- 00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:05,904
- Wrong team, asshole!
- 63
- 00:05:05,937 --> 00:05:07,256
- Awesome.
- 64
- 00:05:07,257 --> 00:05:08,574
- Move it!
- 65
- 00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:11,110
- Of course, Milford's high score
- is due to their star quarterback
- 66
- 00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:13,845
- and sixth-year senior,
- Zach Spencer.
- 67
- 00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:16,449
- He's got a cannon for an arm, but
- he's struggled with accuracy.
- 68
- 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,452
- Just a bit off the mark.
- 69
- 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,120
- Well, he's been known
- to gamble on big plays,
- 70
- 00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:24,123
- as indicated by his signature
- "roll the dice" gesture.
- 71
- 00:05:24,156 --> 00:05:26,959
- I don't think that's what that
- gesture's meant to convey.
- 72
- 00:05:26,992 --> 00:05:29,962
- With one minute on the clock,
- Spencer fakes a hand-off,
- 73
- 00:05:29,995 --> 00:05:32,465
- goes out on his own!
- There's the block!
- 74
- 00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:34,933
- That's gotta hurt.
- Free and clear now.
- 75
- 00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:37,135
- Touchdown Mustangs!
- That's gonna be the game.
- 76
- 00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:40,372
- An amazing play by Zach Spencer, as
- he does his post-game stretching.
- 77
- 00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,442
- Always important to keep
- those hips limber, Wink.
- 78
- 00:05:42,774 --> 00:05:45,977
- - You've no idea what you're talking about, do you?
- - I do not, Wink, not at all.
- 79
- 00:06:03,661 --> 00:06:07,832
- I've heard people say
- 80
- 00:06:07,865 --> 00:06:13,805
- That we'll all find
- our place someday
- 81
- 00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:16,108
- Hey!
- 82
- 00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:17,560
- You're going the wrong way!
- 83
- 00:06:17,561 --> 00:06:18,978
- Sorry, Sheriff.
- 84
- 00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:22,548
- He ain't a Sheriff, Woody.
- He's a half-ass.
- 85
- 00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:25,484
- Bye, Sheriff Half-ass!
- 86
- 00:06:25,516 --> 00:06:27,987
- Yeah, it's nice
- to see you too, Herman.
- 87
- 00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:32,992
- Goddamnit!
- 88
- 00:06:39,764 --> 00:06:40,932
- That's funny, guys.
- 89
- 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,100
- Yeah!
- 90
- 00:06:44,101 --> 00:06:46,204
- All right, I need
- to see some ID's now!
- 91
- 00:06:46,237 --> 00:06:50,209
- Or what, you're gonna hit us
- with one of those light sabers?
- 92
- 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,578
- Hey, we're not the George
- you're looking for.
- 93
- 00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,179
- Shut up, Franksen.
- 94
- 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,747
- All right, that's it.
- 95
- 00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:57,382
- Everybody out of the vehicle.
- 96
- 00:06:57,383 --> 00:06:58,983
- Peace out, Boba Fett.
- 97
- 00:06:59,016 --> 00:07:01,219
- - Damnit!
- - Live long and prosper, baby!
- 98
- 00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:04,088
- It's not even
- the right movie, Moron!
- 99
- 00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:08,093
- Base, this is Deputy Hagan in pursuit of
- a 4-81. I need back-up assistance at...
- 100
- 00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:12,597
- No dice, Deputy Hagan. Sheriff wants you
- out at Ruby Lake for an extraction.
- 101
- 00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:14,766
- For an extraction?
- 102
- 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,970
- Base, what exactly
- am I extracting?
- 103
- 00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:22,640
- All right. You jerkoffs
- couldn't beat me on the field,
- 104
- 00:07:22,673 --> 00:07:24,642
- so you think you could
- beat me here? I get it.
- 105
- 00:07:24,675 --> 00:07:27,479
- Hey, douchebag, this is
- our party, all right?
- 106
- 00:07:27,512 --> 00:07:29,514
- Dude, I won the game.
- It's my party.
- 107
- 00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:32,518
- - That's not how parties work, asshole.
- - They're all my party!
- 108
- 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,019
- That doesn't even
- make sense...
- 109
- 00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:47,033
- Great. Drunk teenagers.
- This will be fun.
- 110
- 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,836
- Hey, guys, stripper's here!
- 111
- 00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:53,205
- All right.
- Do you want Turner Bull?
- 112
- 00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:55,040
- Okay, let's do it. Ready?
- 113
- 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,843
- - Wait, take it again.
- - I think I blinked.
- 114
- 00:07:57,074 --> 00:07:59,545
- Bye, Jules.
- 115
- 00:07:59,577 --> 00:08:02,280
- My God! Dad, what
- are you doing at this party?
- 116
- 00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:05,885
- I'm working, Mindy. What are
- you doing at this party?
- 117
- 00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:08,721
- - Partying!
- - There are two people in the world...
- 118
- 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:12,290
- That should not see you with that beer
- in your hand, your father and a cop.
- 119
- 00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:14,826
- And I'm both of them.
- 120
- 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,295
- Please tell me that is not
- Zach Spencer out there.
- 121
- 00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:22,935
- Yeah, it's him. Go easy on
- him, Dad. He's kind of dumb.
- 122
- 00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,486
- All right, fine. Thanks.
- 123
- 00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:26,004
- Hey!
- 124
- 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:28,807
- Yo, kick his ass,
- kick his ass, kick his ass.
- 125
- 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:30,808
- Knock-Knock!
- 126
- 00:08:30,841 --> 00:08:32,644
- Dude, you need to get
- the hell out of here now!
- 127
- 00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:35,147
- Dude, you need to get the hell
- out of here! How about that?
- 128
- 00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:37,849
- All right, lovebirds,
- break it up.
- 129
- 00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:40,686
- - That's what I thought. Number one!
- - Come on, kid, let's go.
- 130
- 00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:41,954
- I'm talking to you, kid!
- 131
- 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,188
- Top of the world!
- 132
- 00:08:48,726 --> 00:08:51,196
- All right, that's it.
- 133
- 00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:53,831
- Undefeated, bitch!
- 134
- 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:15,254
- Yeah!
- 135
- 00:09:15,287 --> 00:09:16,755
- One foot in front
- of the other.
- 136
- 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,223
- I got it! I know the feet!
- 137
- 00:09:18,255 --> 00:09:20,358
- Hey, see if Mindy
- needs a ride, too!
- 138
- 00:09:20,392 --> 00:09:22,728
- Kid, you have the right
- to remain silent.
- 139
- 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,362
- - You should do that.
- - Bah!
- 140
- 00:09:24,395 --> 00:09:26,331
- It's not funny. Stop.
- 141
- 00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:30,235
- All right, I know we've all
- had a lot of fun tonight,
- 142
- 00:09:30,268 --> 00:09:33,772
- but the show's over. It's
- time for you all to go home.
- 143
- 00:09:33,804 --> 00:09:36,741
- There's nothing else
- to see here.
- 144
- 00:09:49,754 --> 00:09:53,926
- You're lucky I'm not taking you
- in, kid. You should be arrested.
- 145
- 00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:57,695
- Your face should be arrested!
- 'Cause your face is a whore!
- 146
- 00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:01,734
- You should really
- buckle up back there.
- 147
- 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,103
- I'd hate to have to give
- you a ticket for it.
- 148
- 00:10:04,135 --> 00:10:06,105
- Wait, I know you.
- 149
- 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,942
- You're that guy that blew the
- Championship game like 800 years ago!
- 150
- 00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:12,945
- What does everyone call you?
- Has-been half-back?
- 151
- 00:10:12,977 --> 00:10:15,947
- No, it's Half-ass Hagan!
- 152
- 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:18,850
- Seriously, dude, that hurts!
- 153
- 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,502
- Wait, Hagan! Mindy's name...
- 154
- 00:10:20,503 --> 00:10:22,120
- That's right.
- 155
- 00:10:22,153 --> 00:10:24,123
- Mindy is my daughter.
- 156
- 00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:26,791
- That's why
- you're trippin' on me.
- 157
- 00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:29,795
- Look, dude, I get it. You don't like the
- idea of someone dating your daughter.
- 158
- 00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:33,298
- You know, kid, I raised my daughter
- to be a strong, independent woman
- 159
- 00:10:33,331 --> 00:10:35,734
- who's capable of making
- her own decisions.
- 160
- 00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:39,171
- That being said, as her father, sometimes
- I disagree with those decisions.
- 161
- 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:42,974
- Look, don't worry about it.
- Mindy and I are just friends.
- 162
- 00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:44,910
- I mean, I haven't
- even banged her yet.
- 163
- 00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:46,812
- God!
- 164
- 00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:49,682
- I should really get the
- breaks checked in this car.
- 165
- 00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:29,021
- We're tracking an inbound UFO.
- Just entered the atmosphere.
- 166
- 00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:31,189
- Excellent.
- 167
- 00:11:31,222 --> 00:11:34,325
- Men, this is a moment in time that
- has been decades in the making.
- 168
- 00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:37,495
- Tonight, our aliens friends
- will bestow upon us
- 169
- 00:11:37,528 --> 00:11:42,735
- a gift that will give humanity its
- rightful place in the galaxy.
- 170
- 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,738
- Tonight,
- we get our champion...
- 171
- 00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:55,813
- Tonight, we will get
- our champion...
- 172
- 00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:03,455
- Tonight, the Earth
- will get it's champ...
- 173
- 00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:07,760
- Who in the hell
- authorized fireworks?
- 174
- 00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:17,302
- What the... There's a burn
- ban out here for a reason.
- 175
- 00:12:17,335 --> 00:12:19,338
- Hold on, kid.
- Gotta make a pit stop.
- 176
- 00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:27,696
- Woo!
- 177
- 00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:29,081
- Awesome.
- 178
- 00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:32,918
- ...looks like it's time for
- another beer run, Woody.
- 179
- 00:12:32,951 --> 00:12:36,254
- This is only my second. How
- many did you drink, Herman?
- 180
- 00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:39,423
- Whatever 24 minus 2 is, man!
- You do the math!
- 181
- 00:12:39,456 --> 00:12:44,096
- You ain't never gonna figure it
- out, dumbass. Light another one.
- 182
- 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,937
- Yeah, all right.
- Here we go. Come on now.
- 183
- 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:53,939
- Ho-ho-ho!
- 184
- 00:12:53,971 --> 00:12:56,274
- Darn tree!
- 185
- 00:12:56,307 --> 00:12:59,912
- Woo! Yeah!
- 186
- 00:13:00,912 --> 00:13:03,447
- Shit!
- 187
- 00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,085
- Direct hit! Nice one, Woody!
- 188
- 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,586
- That was nothing.
- 189
- 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,372
- Hey!
- 190
- 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,124
- Well, well, look who it is.
- 191
- 00:13:12,157 --> 00:13:13,642
- Woody, prep another one.
- 192
- 00:13:13,643 --> 00:13:15,127
- Stay where you are, Woody.
- 193
- 00:13:15,159 --> 00:13:17,461
- No, Woody, prep another one.
- 194
- 00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:21,299
- Look, here, Officer,
- this here is private property.
- 195
- 00:13:21,332 --> 00:13:24,135
- Yeah, you only get to say that when
- it's "your" private property, Herman.
- 196
- 00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:26,103
- Besides, you're
- breaking the law!
- 197
- 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:28,139
- Since when is blowing
- shit up against the law?
- 198
- 00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:29,274
- Since they invented laws!
- 199
- 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,375
- Yeah?
- 200
- 00:13:30,408 --> 00:13:33,144
- What do they say about this?
- 201
- 00:13:33,177 --> 00:13:35,847
- Add littering
- to my list of offenses.
- 202
- 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:40,052
- Look, you either give me the fireworks or
- you can spend the night in a drunk tank!
- 203
- 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,353
- That goes for you too, Woody.
- 204
- 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,620
- I done that before.
- 205
- 00:13:42,653 --> 00:13:46,457
- Someone threw a ball
- and I fell in a tub of water.
- 206
- 00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:49,461
- No, that's a dunk tank, Woody.
- Drunk tank is jail.
- 207
- 00:13:49,494 --> 00:13:50,979
- I don't wanna do that.
- 208
- 00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:52,464
- You want the fireworks?
- 209
- 00:13:52,496 --> 00:13:56,033
- Fine.
- I'll give you a firework.
- 210
- 00:13:58,937 --> 00:14:01,472
- The Mama Gigante.
- 211
- 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,645
- The courier vessel
- is arriving, sir.
- 212
- 00:14:07,678 --> 00:14:10,182
- All right,
- this is it, everyone!
- 213
- 00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:15,653
- High-pressure moment.
- What you gonna do, Hagan?
- 214
- 00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:17,055
- Herman?
- 215
- 00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,423
- Oooh...
- 216
- 00:14:18,456 --> 00:14:19,875
- Herman.
- 217
- 00:14:19,876 --> 00:14:21,293
- This gonna be a big one.
- 218
- 00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:23,178
- Do not light that firework.
- 219
- 00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:25,029
- Do it! Light that bastard!
- 220
- 00:14:25,062 --> 00:14:26,530
- All right, one more word
- out of you and I'll...
- 221
- 00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:29,433
- What, you're gonna
- double-arrest me?!
- 222
- 00:14:29,466 --> 00:14:32,403
- Herman!
- 223
- 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,173
- ...Officer Hagan?
- 224
- 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,908
- Not now, Woody!
- 225
- 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:40,144
- Herman!
- Do not light that...
- 226
- 00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:43,014
- Too slow.
- Just like always.
- 227
- 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:46,384
- That's it! Come...
- 228
- 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,519
- What is that?
- 229
- 00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:51,956
- You think I'm gonna
- fall for...
- 230
- 00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:59,697
- Shit!
- 231
- 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:05,703
- That is your fault! You did the
- one thing I told you not to do!
- 232
- 00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:09,040
- I shot E.T.!
- I killed E.T.!
- 233
- 00:15:09,073 --> 00:15:10,875
- I didn't mean to do it!
- 234
- 00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,677
- Guys, guys, guys! Help! Help!
- 235
- 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:16,481
- Hagan, I promise I won't try to bang
- your daughter! Third base, tops!
- 236
- 00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:34,682
- What in God's name was that?
- 237
- 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,600
- What the hell was that?
- 238
- 00:15:36,634 --> 00:15:40,105
- That was...
- Woody's fault.
- 239
- 00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:42,107
- My bad.
- 240
- 00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:55,153
- Is that it?
- 241
- 00:15:55,186 --> 00:15:58,456
- No, it's another spaceship that
- fell out of the sky, dumbass!
- 242
- 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:02,327
- I'll check it out.
- You guys stay here.
- 243
- 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,468
- Holy shit!
- This is awesome!
- 244
- 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,004
- All right. Just,
- everybody calm down.
- 245
- 00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:15,474
- Calm down? We're gonna be rich!
- That's a UFO!
- 246
- 00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:17,775
- A goddamn Unidentified
- Flying Object!
- 247
- 00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:19,778
- It's not flying, Herman.
- 248
- 00:16:19,811 --> 00:16:22,647
- It's an Unidentified
- laying on the ground Object.
- 249
- 00:16:22,679 --> 00:16:25,783
- All right, this is serious. We need
- to... Hey, what are you doing?
- 250
- 00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:27,786
- Dude, taking selfies!
- 251
- 00:16:27,818 --> 00:16:30,688
- First people to shoot down a spaceship?
- That's like a thousand likes!
- 252
- 00:16:30,721 --> 00:16:33,158
- It is not a spaceship!
- It's military!
- 253
- 00:16:33,191 --> 00:16:36,561
- It probably came from the base.
- And we did not shoot it down.
- 254
- 00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:37,846
- Woody shot it down.
- 255
- 00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:39,097
- Sorry, all.
- 256
- 00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:40,331
- I gotta be more careful.
- 257
- 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,533
- Yeah, you're on fire, genius.
- 258
- 00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:43,335
- Darn fire!
- 259
- 00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:46,338
- Nobody shot it down,
- okay? It crashed.
- 260
- 00:16:46,370 --> 00:16:49,040
- And if you're smart,
- you'll stick to...
- 261
- 00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:56,515
- That a body? Nasty.
- 262
- 00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:59,183
- That is not a body.
- 263
- 00:16:59,216 --> 00:17:02,086
- Looks like...
- armor.
- 264
- 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,190
- Yeah, that is definitely
- military. Zach, leave it alone.
- 265
- 00:17:05,222 --> 00:17:08,726
- Yeah, right. Finders keepers.
- I'm hawking all this shit.
- 266
- 00:17:10,228 --> 00:17:12,330
- Except this one.
- 267
- 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,618
- Daddy likes.
- 268
- 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,836
- What else they got in there?
- 269
- 00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:20,371
- No, hey! Come on, guys,
- could be dangerous.
- 270
- 00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:22,473
- You think?
- That would be badass!
- 271
- 00:17:22,507 --> 00:17:24,509
- ...come to Papa.
- 272
- 00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:26,211
- There's a trigger in here,
- but it doesn't do anything.
- 273
- 00:17:26,243 --> 00:17:27,745
- Don't do that!
- 274
- 00:17:27,778 --> 00:17:29,548
- Yeah, this is
- definitely an upgrade.
- 275
- 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:32,550
- I hope you bad boys
- like toe fungus.
- 276
- 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:37,221
- Woody!
- 277
- 00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:40,725
- This is neat.
- They made me wear a helmet
- 278
- 00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:43,595
- in elementary school,
- but I outgrew it.
- 279
- 00:17:45,762 --> 00:17:49,400
- Come on, just put it back.
- 280
- 00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:52,104
- It looks like
- your head's in a fishbowl.
- 281
- 00:17:52,136 --> 00:17:53,271
- Not again!
- 282
- 00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:54,405
- All right, Woody, come on!
- 283
- 00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:56,575
- Take that thing off for
- crying out loud! Put it back!
- 284
- 00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:58,576
- - You too, Herman!
- - I ain't taking off shit.
- 285
- 00:17:58,609 --> 00:18:00,878
- - Zach, what the... Give me that!
- - Dude!
- 286
- 00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:03,148
- They're obviously supposed to go
- together! Find your own, man!
- 287
- 00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:05,484
- Kid, I'm not trying
- to take it from you!
- 288
- 00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,486
- I'm just trying
- to put it back!
- 289
- 00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:12,456
- What you do?
- 290
- 00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:13,457
- I didn't do anything!
- 291
- 00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:15,426
- - I told you guys to put it back!
- - You turned it on!
- 292
- 00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:22,401
- Mine's on too, man!
- 293
- 00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:27,572
- Aahhh!
- 294
- 00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:29,524
- Waahhh!
- 295
- 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:36,548
- Aahhh!
- 296
- 00:18:37,648 --> 00:18:41,919
- Man! Feels like
- my legs just gave birth!
- 297
- 00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:43,922
- I didn't think
- it was that bad.
- 298
- 00:18:43,954 --> 00:18:49,461
- Whoaaaaa!
- 299
- 00:18:49,493 --> 00:18:51,929
- Aahhh!
- 300
- 00:18:51,962 --> 00:18:53,064
- Oohhh!
- 301
- 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,165
- Aahhh!
- 302
- 00:18:56,667 --> 00:19:00,505
- God! I think
- it ate my brain!
- 303
- 00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:03,775
- Greetings, O Champion.
- 304
- 00:19:03,807 --> 00:19:06,577
- Dude, I told you
- it was aliens!
- 305
- 00:19:06,611 --> 00:19:09,314
- Greetings to you, gross alien whose
- planet I don't know the name of.
- 306
- 00:19:09,346 --> 00:19:12,183
- We are Earthlings
- from planet Earth.
- 307
- 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:14,953
- - Woody, you're talking to a recording.
- - Right.
- 308
- 00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:18,857
- Greetings, recording
- from the planet Record.
- 309
- 00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:24,729
- The Antarian Federation bestows
- upon you this Suit of Power.
- 310
- 00:19:24,761 --> 00:19:26,164
- Suit of Power?
- 311
- 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,566
- A great battle awaits you.
- 312
- 00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:30,501
- The fate of your world
- lies in your hands.
- 313
- 00:19:30,535 --> 00:19:33,971
- Our enemy is powerful, but a
- true champion will prevail.
- 314
- 00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:35,974
- That's gonna get him
- mad at you!
- 315
- 00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:39,778
- Prepare yourself. And good
- luck, Champion of Earth.
- 316
- 00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:42,413
- Conflict is coming.
- 317
- 00:19:46,384 --> 00:19:49,520
- Conflict is coming?
- Well, then Herman is leaving.
- 318
- 00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:53,358
- I ain't got no time
- for conflict.
- 319
- 00:19:53,391 --> 00:19:55,627
- Hold on a second.
- 320
- 00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:58,296
- My limp! It's gone!
- 321
- 00:19:58,328 --> 00:20:00,331
- Check me out!
- My limp is gone!
- 322
- 00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:05,053
- It's a Christmas miracle!
- 323
- 00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,538
- Back in the game!
- 324
- 00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:08,406
- What's the matter, Chubs,
- you stuck?
- 325
- 00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:10,241
- Are you?
- 326
- 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:13,912
- Shit! My throwing arm!
- How do we get these things off?
- 327
- 00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:16,380
- I'm never taking
- these off, baby.
- 328
- 00:20:16,413 --> 00:20:19,017
- I think I...
- 329
- 00:20:19,049 --> 00:20:20,652
- got it!
- 330
- 00:20:22,053 --> 00:20:24,222
- My God!
- 331
- 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,391
- Are you kidding me!
- 332
- 00:20:26,423 --> 00:20:28,993
- Now that's a firework!
- 333
- 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:30,028
- My car!
- 334
- 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,028
- Guys...
- 335
- 00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:33,397
- my helmet says "warning"
- and it's pointing up.
- 336
- 00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:36,034
- You think it's trying
- to warn me about my brain?
- 337
- 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:37,935
- No!
- 338
- 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,040
- A shield!
- That's awesome!
- 339
- 00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:45,043
- If you don't have
- a gun that shoots lasers!
- 340
- 00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:46,294
- We gotta get this stuff off!
- 341
- 00:20:46,295 --> 00:20:47,511
- Hell no!
- 342
- 00:20:47,545 --> 00:20:49,413
- I'm freaking' never taking
- this off! I'm like Iron Man!
- 343
- 00:20:49,446 --> 00:20:51,015
- Come on, man, hold on!
- 344
- 00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:55,386
- Herman?
- 345
- 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,239
- Hey, you guys see that?
- 346
- 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,057
- No, we didn't.
- 347
- 00:20:59,089 --> 00:21:01,458
- Wee, I was running fast.
- 348
- 00:21:01,491 --> 00:21:03,595
- - All right, we gotta get this off!
- - No, no!
- 349
- 00:21:03,627 --> 00:21:06,931
- - I'm not taking shit off!
- - Guys, the helmet's talking to me again.
- 350
- 00:21:06,963 --> 00:21:10,668
- It says there will be
- an immediate treat.
- 351
- 00:21:10,701 --> 00:21:12,371
- Are we getting treats?
- 352
- 00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:29,820
- Come on! Come on!
- All right, move it!
- 353
- 00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:34,925
- Hands in the air!
- Do not move!
- 354
- 00:21:34,959 --> 00:21:36,861
- Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- 355
- 00:21:36,894 --> 00:21:38,863
- Sir, they've donned the suit.
- How should we proceed?
- 356
- 00:21:38,895 --> 00:21:40,664
- Damnit! Incapacitate them!
- 357
- 00:21:40,698 --> 00:21:42,267
- No, don't do that!
- 358
- 00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,835
- Why don't you
- incapacitate this!
- 359
- 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:46,637
- Zach!
- 360
- 00:21:46,671 --> 00:21:49,807
- I'm a police officer!
- I was just in the process of...
- 361
- 00:21:51,776 --> 00:21:54,012
- - Okay, that was an accident!
- - Take them down, now!
- 362
- 00:21:54,045 --> 00:21:57,682
- Open fire!
- 363
- 00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,717
- Gotta fix this!
- 364
- 00:22:19,703 --> 00:22:21,839
- Did we take him out?
- 365
- 00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:25,143
- No, I think
- he just fainted.
- 366
- 00:22:25,175 --> 00:22:26,660
- Take him out again.
- 367
- 00:22:26,661 --> 00:22:28,145
- Take him out again!
- 368
- 00:22:28,179 --> 00:22:30,749
- Stop resisting!
- 369
- 00:22:30,781 --> 00:22:33,150
- There's not gonna be
- any treats, is there?
- 370
- 00:22:33,183 --> 00:22:37,087
- Woody! Come on, guys,
- he's half brain damaged already!
- 371
- 00:22:37,121 --> 00:22:40,792
- Bag 'em up, men!
- 372
- 00:22:40,825 --> 00:22:42,761
- The bag won't fit!
- 373
- 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:44,696
- Sir, he's unbaggable.
- 374
- 00:22:44,729 --> 00:22:46,214
- Just get him in the truck.
- 375
- 00:22:46,215 --> 00:22:47,699
- Get him in the truck.
- 376
- 00:22:47,731 --> 00:22:49,768
- You know what,
- you're all under arrest!
- 377
- 00:22:53,837 --> 00:22:56,875
- "UFO spotted in Milford"?
- 378
- 00:22:56,907 --> 00:22:59,076
- Crazy.
- 379
- 00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:06,551
- Zach? And Dad?
- 380
- 00:23:06,584 --> 00:23:09,086
- My God.
- 381
- 00:23:15,226 --> 00:23:18,563
- After multiple reports of a UFO
- sighting in Milford, Texas,
- 382
- 00:23:18,596 --> 00:23:20,899
- a Twitter post
- showing several men,
- 383
- 00:23:20,932 --> 00:23:24,067
- at what appears to be the
- crash site, has gone viral.
- 384
- 00:23:24,101 --> 00:23:26,571
- Calling themselves
- "Lazer Team".
- 385
- 00:23:26,604 --> 00:23:29,774
- Could this be first contact
- with an alien race?
- 386
- 00:23:29,807 --> 00:23:32,009
- I'm sorry, I just
- don't believe in aliens.
- 387
- 00:23:32,042 --> 00:23:34,611
- I've seen better alien
- technology at Comi-Con.
- 388
- 00:23:34,644 --> 00:23:37,147
- You'd have to be crazy
- to think these guys are legit.
- 389
- 00:23:37,181 --> 00:23:39,918
- You all thought I was crazy, but you're
- the ones in your little mind prisons.
- 390
- 00:23:39,951 --> 00:23:42,586
- You know what? You know
- who's free? Lazer Team!
- 391
- 00:23:42,619 --> 00:23:45,723
- Lazer Team, that's who!
- Yeah! Yeah!
- 392
- 00:23:53,263 --> 00:23:54,748
- No.
- 393
- 00:23:54,749 --> 00:23:56,233
- What a bunch of morons!
- 394
- 00:23:56,267 --> 00:23:58,603
- They left me my laser gun! I
- could just blast us out of here!
- 395
- 00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:01,105
- Then blow
- this whole place up!
- 396
- 00:24:01,137 --> 00:24:03,942
- What the hell? Holy shit!
- 397
- 00:24:03,974 --> 00:24:05,292
- I think they gave me amnesia!
- 398
- 00:24:05,293 --> 00:24:06,610
- Anesthesia.
- 399
- 00:24:06,644 --> 00:24:10,248
- Localized to disable
- our extremities. Blurp!
- 400
- 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,715
- W-what did I just say?
- 401
- 00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:13,150
- My arm's numb, too.
- 402
- 00:24:13,183 --> 00:24:15,252
- Clearly, they have paralyzed
- the parts of our body...
- 403
- 00:24:15,286 --> 00:24:18,256
- Shut up, dude!
- Y'all stupid. I'm out.
- 404
- 00:24:18,288 --> 00:24:22,125
- Like your boots. Probably should've waited
- till I finished talking to do that.
- 405
- 00:24:22,159 --> 00:24:24,128
- Why are we here?
- 406
- 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,097
- You're here to talk.
- 407
- 00:24:26,130 --> 00:24:28,132
- At approximately 23:00 hours,
- 408
- 00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:31,034
- you not only managed
- to crash an alien spacecraft,
- 409
- 00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:36,240
- but you also commandeered a highly
- classified weapon system. How?
- 410
- 00:24:36,273 --> 00:24:37,274
- Fifth Amendment, bitch.
- 411
- 00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:38,275
- In addition
- 412
- 00:24:38,308 --> 00:24:40,811
- we would like to exercise
- our right to an attorney
- 413
- 00:24:40,845 --> 00:24:43,280
- and trial by a jury
- of our peers. Blurp!
- 414
- 00:24:43,314 --> 00:24:46,683
- Yeah, man, we know our rights.
- My taxes pay your salary, buddy!
- 415
- 00:24:46,717 --> 00:24:49,821
- Mr. Mendoza, you haven't
- paid taxes in 15 years.
- 416
- 00:24:49,854 --> 00:24:50,922
- It's a figure of speech.
- 417
- 00:24:50,923 --> 00:24:51,990
- This isn't a game.
- 418
- 00:24:52,022 --> 00:24:54,091
- Who's this douchebag?
- 419
- 00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:57,662
- This douchebag is the
- rightful wearer of that suit.
- 420
- 00:24:57,694 --> 00:25:00,664
- I'm the Champion of Earth!
- 421
- 00:25:02,866 --> 00:25:04,903
- You look like the champion
- of swim team.
- 422
- 00:25:04,935 --> 00:25:06,904
- Where's your junk
- in that thing!
- 423
- 00:25:06,938 --> 00:25:10,275
- It's cool, man. We're all
- champions, dude. The alien told us.
- 424
- 00:25:10,307 --> 00:25:11,625
- What alien?
- 425
- 00:25:11,626 --> 00:25:12,943
- The Antartican guy.
- 426
- 00:25:12,977 --> 00:25:16,681
- From the planet Record...
- Antaria. Blurp!
- 427
- 00:25:16,713 --> 00:25:19,616
- There was a hologram
- came out.
- 428
- 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:23,221
- It said that there's some
- kind of battle coming?
- 429
- 00:25:23,253 --> 00:25:26,023
- In less than five days,
- an alien warrior will arrive
- 430
- 00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:30,193
- to do battle with whoever is
- wearing this suit. To the death.
- 431
- 00:25:30,227 --> 00:25:32,196
- Okay, the hologram
- left that part out!
- 432
- 00:25:32,229 --> 00:25:34,231
- Gentlemen, this is not a game.
- 433
- 00:25:34,265 --> 00:25:36,868
- This alien species,
- the Worg, they're called,
- 434
- 00:25:36,901 --> 00:25:40,572
- they're on a crusade to eradicate
- any race they deem weak.
- 435
- 00:25:40,605 --> 00:25:43,074
- Seventeen civilizations
- destroyed.
- 436
- 00:25:43,106 --> 00:25:46,310
- And now they're demanding to do
- battle with the Earth Champion
- 437
- 00:25:46,344 --> 00:25:48,613
- to determine the fate
- of our planet.
- 438
- 00:25:48,645 --> 00:25:52,215
- Like the ancient Hebrew
- account of David versus Goliath.
- 439
- 00:25:52,249 --> 00:25:56,887
- Yes. And as David needed his
- slingshot, we need our Suit of Power.
- 440
- 00:25:56,921 --> 00:25:59,222
- All right, well then hop to it,
- take the pieces off of us,
- 441
- 00:25:59,256 --> 00:26:01,593
- put them on Hitler Youth
- over here, and let us bounce!
- 442
- 00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:05,229
- They can't take the pieces off.
- If they could...
- 443
- 00:26:05,261 --> 00:26:07,365
- they would've done it
- while we were knocked out.
- 444
- 00:26:07,397 --> 00:26:10,267
- The suit has a protection
- mechanism built into it.
- 445
- 00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:14,838
- It genetically locks onto whoever
- puts it on and activates it.
- 446
- 00:26:14,872 --> 00:26:18,009
- I assure nobody is happy
- about this situation.
- 447
- 00:26:18,041 --> 00:26:20,778
- But the fate of the Earth
- hangs in the balance.
- 448
- 00:26:20,810 --> 00:26:23,347
- You do want to save
- the planet, don't you?
- 449
- 00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:28,752
- This planet? A little bit.
- 450
- 00:26:28,786 --> 00:26:32,190
- There's a lot of jackasses.
- 451
- 00:26:32,222 --> 00:26:34,959
- - What?
- - Sir, you told me to let you know...
- 452
- 00:26:34,991 --> 00:26:37,628
- If any of the media outlets
- reported on the incident.
- 453
- 00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:39,963
- Who picked it up,
- local news or national?
- 454
- 00:26:39,997 --> 00:26:42,967
- Both, sir. But it's
- worse than we thought.
- 455
- 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,668
- It's on Facebook.
- 456
- 00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,336
- Are you kidding me?
- 457
- 00:26:46,369 --> 00:26:48,673
- My mom shared it.
- 458
- 00:26:48,705 --> 00:26:51,875
- You posted a threat to
- national security on Facebook?
- 459
- 00:26:51,909 --> 00:26:53,778
- Nobody told me not to do that.
- 460
- 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:55,647
- I told him not to do that.
- 461
- 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:56,965
- What's the Lazer Team?
- 462
- 00:26:56,966 --> 00:26:58,249
- Dude, that's us!
- 463
- 00:26:58,281 --> 00:27:00,250
- That's what I named us when
- we got our badass alien gadgets.
- 464
- 00:27:00,284 --> 00:27:02,687
- - You spelled "laser" wrong.
- - How would you know, water boy?
- 465
- 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:03,922
- Delete it.
- 466
- 00:27:03,923 --> 00:27:05,123
- Okay, that has 1200 likes.
- 467
- 00:27:05,155 --> 00:27:07,658
- No way. The last time I had a
- photo with over a thousand likes
- 468
- 00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:12,029
- was when I accidentally posted a
- picture of my penis in a hot dog bun.
- 469
- 00:27:12,063 --> 00:27:14,932
- Delete it or I'll delete you.
- 470
- 00:27:14,964 --> 00:27:17,268
- ...you better do
- what he say.
- 471
- 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:18,369
- All right.
- 472
- 00:27:20,304 --> 00:27:22,940
- Congratulations, gentlemen.
- 473
- 00:27:22,972 --> 00:27:26,109
- You're now officially
- part of Project Perseus.
- 474
- 00:27:26,143 --> 00:27:27,611
- Training begins at 05:00.
- 475
- 00:27:27,612 --> 00:27:29,079
- Training?
- 476
- 00:27:29,113 --> 00:27:33,785
- And do me one favor,
- try not to get us all killed.
- 477
- 00:27:33,817 --> 00:27:36,320
- - You guys are trending, by the way.
- - What? Nice.
- 478
- 00:27:36,721 --> 00:27:40,024
- Can I friend you?
- If that's a... no.
- 479
- 00:27:40,057 --> 00:27:42,393
- I'll be on the other
- side of the window
- 480
- 00:27:42,425 --> 00:27:44,428
- if you need me.
- 481
- 00:28:05,382 --> 00:28:09,320
- You expect me to train these idiots that
- literally stole my birthright from me?
- 482
- 00:28:09,353 --> 00:28:11,322
- I've worked my entire life
- for this.
- 483
- 00:28:11,355 --> 00:28:13,924
- That is exactly
- why they need your help.
- 484
- 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:16,160
- You're the only one experienced
- enough with this equipment
- 485
- 00:28:16,192 --> 00:28:18,328
- to teach them
- how to use it in time.
- 486
- 00:28:18,362 --> 00:28:23,000
- Four days? I've trained
- every day for decades.
- 487
- 00:28:23,032 --> 00:28:27,003
- Adam, is this
- about the planet or you?
- 488
- 00:28:27,037 --> 00:28:30,208
- Without me,
- there is no planet!
- 489
- 00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:40,351
- When Perseus was sent forth
- to defeat the Gorgon,
- 490
- 00:28:40,384 --> 00:28:43,287
- he was armed with four gifts
- from the heavens:
- 491
- 00:28:43,319 --> 00:28:45,856
- A sword, boots...
- 492
- 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:48,025
- a helmet and a shield.
- 493
- 00:28:48,057 --> 00:28:51,028
- With these gifts
- he was victorious.
- 494
- 00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:53,865
- You'll now begin your formal
- training to utilize your...
- 495
- 00:28:55,065 --> 00:28:57,033
- gifts.
- 496
- 00:28:57,034 --> 00:28:59,403
- You only have four days until
- the Worg Champion arrives
- 497
- 00:28:59,435 --> 00:29:02,874
- to kill you
- and destroy our planet.
- 498
- 00:29:02,906 --> 00:29:04,509
- We start now.
- 499
- 00:29:04,541 --> 00:29:08,879
- Pardon me, old chap.
- I have a question, if I may.
- 500
- 00:29:10,314 --> 00:29:11,682
- It can wait. Fair play.
- 501
- 00:29:11,683 --> 00:29:13,050
- I got a question.
- 502
- 00:29:13,083 --> 00:29:15,219
- Why the hell does he
- sound British now?
- 503
- 00:29:15,251 --> 00:29:18,221
- Woody's helmet is making him
- more intelligent over time.
- 504
- 00:29:18,255 --> 00:29:20,391
- Yeah, Woody's a stupid person,
- 505
- 00:29:20,423 --> 00:29:22,393
- and that's what stupid people
- think smart people sound like.
- 506
- 00:29:22,425 --> 00:29:24,928
- So, basically, it's just dumb
- Woody's version of smart Woody.
- 507
- 00:29:24,961 --> 00:29:26,013
- What? That's idiotic!
- 508
- 00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:27,064
- Precisely.
- 509
- 00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:28,499
- Nah, that makes sense, man.
- 510
- 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:29,901
- How's that make sense!
- 511
- 00:29:29,933 --> 00:29:31,568
- Hey, whassup, girl?
- My name's Herman.
- 512
- 00:29:31,602 --> 00:29:32,771
- That's enough!
- 513
- 00:29:34,238 --> 00:29:35,940
- Let's get started.
- 514
- 00:29:39,009 --> 00:29:40,144
- Anthony Hagan, test number one.
- 515
- 00:29:40,176 --> 00:29:43,246
- The Repulsor Defensive Gauntlet
- produces an energy shield
- 516
- 00:29:43,279 --> 00:29:45,549
- impenetrable
- by any manmade weapon.
- 517
- 00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:48,319
- Your first test is to stop
- the incoming projectiles.
- 518
- 00:29:48,352 --> 00:29:51,255
- Yeah, I just have a quick question
- before we begin. How exactly...
- 519
- 00:29:51,288 --> 00:29:53,257
- Oohhh!
- 520
- 00:29:53,289 --> 00:29:58,095
- Yeah! Yeah! Best test ever!
- Run it back! Run it back!
- 521
- 00:29:58,127 --> 00:30:00,263
- Man,
- I freakin' love science.
- 522
- 00:30:00,297 --> 00:30:02,967
- Next!
- 523
- 00:30:05,001 --> 00:30:08,438
- Test number 17. Use the
- Particle Acceleration Gauntlet
- 524
- 00:30:08,471 --> 00:30:10,441
- to destroy the targets by firing
- 525
- 00:30:10,473 --> 00:30:12,943
- concussive blasts of plasma
- at varying intensities.
- 526
- 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,446
- - Let's go with the lower power.
- - Low? Get the hell outta here!
- 527
- 00:30:15,479 --> 00:30:18,048
- I know what I'm doing. Let's
- crank this baby up to a hund...
- 528
- 00:30:21,317 --> 00:30:23,320
- Next!
- 529
- 00:30:24,622 --> 00:30:26,591
- Test number 43.
- 530
- 00:30:26,624 --> 00:30:29,326
- Use the Positronic Helmet
- to locate the targets.
- 531
- 00:30:29,359 --> 00:30:33,296
- The visor is specifically
- equipped with zoom, targeting,
- 532
- 00:30:33,329 --> 00:30:35,398
- and other visual enhancements.
- 533
- 00:30:35,432 --> 00:30:37,300
- My God! Guys!
- 534
- 00:30:37,334 --> 00:30:39,437
- What the hell is your problem?
- 535
- 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:41,972
- Looks like a malfunction with the
- helmet. I got a tool for this.
- 536
- 00:30:42,006 --> 00:30:43,975
- - Turn it off! No!
- - Keep your head still.
- 537
- 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,159
- I wish I was dead!
- 538
- 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,309
- Next.
- 539
- 00:30:46,343 --> 00:30:48,346
- It's so close!
- 540
- 00:30:49,646 --> 00:30:53,149
- Test number 124.
- Use the Quantum Boots
- 541
- 00:30:53,182 --> 00:30:56,119
- and jump over all of the hurdles
- before the buzzer sounds.
- 542
- 00:30:56,153 --> 00:30:58,288
- Excuse me, you can't smoke
- on this course.
- 543
- 00:30:58,321 --> 00:31:00,323
- Word? Watch me.
- 544
- 00:31:00,356 --> 00:31:03,160
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
- 545
- 00:31:03,192 --> 00:31:06,329
- Dude, you were supposed
- to jump over the hurdles.
- 546
- 00:31:06,363 --> 00:31:09,634
- Put him on a special diet.
- No smoking, no drinking.
- 547
- 00:31:09,666 --> 00:31:12,235
- Just kill me now.
- 548
- 00:31:12,269 --> 00:31:15,105
- Next!
- 549
- 00:31:15,138 --> 00:31:19,509
- Next.
- 550
- 00:31:19,542 --> 00:31:23,413
- Next. Next. Next.
- 551
- 00:31:23,446 --> 00:31:25,883
- Next. Next!
- 552
- 00:31:27,050 --> 00:31:30,354
- - Sleep tight, Lazy Team.
- - See you tomorrow.
- 553
- 00:31:30,386 --> 00:31:33,223
- Four hours!
- 554
- 00:31:34,223 --> 00:31:36,359
- That was awful.
- 555
- 00:31:36,393 --> 00:31:39,297
- I haven't run that fast since
- Half-ass Hagan ruined my life.
- 556
- 00:31:40,230 --> 00:31:43,200
- Yes, this level of rigorous
- training can be difficult.
- 557
- 00:31:43,232 --> 00:31:47,003
- Woody, you didn't do anything! All
- you did was see some naked people!
- 558
- 00:31:47,037 --> 00:31:49,673
- I also had to perform an
- enormous amount of calculations.
- 559
- 00:31:49,707 --> 00:31:51,676
- Well, that sounds brutal.
- 560
- 00:31:51,709 --> 00:31:53,644
- I thought it was
- pretty impressive.
- 561
- 00:31:53,676 --> 00:31:55,111
- No, this is impressive.
- 562
- 00:31:55,112 --> 00:31:56,546
- Where'd you get that?
- 563
- 00:31:56,579 --> 00:31:59,549
- Where do people get anything? I stole
- it. I think I'll give Mindy a call.
- 564
- 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:00,935
- God. Please don't do that.
- 565
- 00:32:00,936 --> 00:32:02,286
- Watch this.
- 566
- 00:32:02,318 --> 00:32:04,721
- You ever wanna see how bad a girl wants
- you, just see how long she says "Hey".
- 567
- 00:32:04,755 --> 00:32:06,224
- Hey?
- 568
- 00:32:06,225 --> 00:32:07,692
- Yeah. Hey's like "what's up?"
- 569
- 00:32:07,724 --> 00:32:10,727
- But "Heeey!" means I like you.
- Anything more than that
- 570
- 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,598
- and you know she wants to see
- your penis in a hot dog bun.
- 571
- 00:32:16,432 --> 00:32:18,402
- - Zach?
- - Hey, Mindy.
- 572
- 00:32:18,434 --> 00:32:23,540
- Heeeeeeeeeeey!
- 573
- 00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:25,743
- Wait, is that blood
- on your shirt? Are you okay?
- 574
- 00:32:25,776 --> 00:32:29,013
- Yeah. Long day. I met some
- aliens and got a laser gun,
- 575
- 00:32:29,046 --> 00:32:33,049
- then the military picked us up, and now they're
- training us to save the world and stuff.
- 576
- 00:32:33,083 --> 00:32:35,336
- All I did today was eat FroYo.
- 577
- 00:32:35,337 --> 00:32:37,588
- That's awesome! I love FroYo!
- 578
- 00:32:37,621 --> 00:32:40,257
- After I kick the crap out of these aliens
- that are trying to destroy the planet,
- 579
- 00:32:40,289 --> 00:32:42,192
- I'm totally getting some
- FroYo.
- 580
- 00:32:42,226 --> 00:32:43,494
- That's it?
- 581
- 00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:44,762
- FroYo is tasty.
- 582
- 00:32:44,795 --> 00:32:47,264
- Hey, is my dad there?
- Is he okay?
- 583
- 00:32:47,297 --> 00:32:50,334
- Yeah. But his piece
- of the armor kinda sucks,
- 584
- 00:32:50,366 --> 00:32:52,702
- so I'm not sure if he's gonna
- make the final Lazer Team.
- 585
- 00:32:52,736 --> 00:32:56,273
- Look, Zach, my dad
- may not be very strong,
- 586
- 00:32:56,306 --> 00:33:01,312
- or brave, or smart,
- but he is really good at...
- 587
- 00:33:07,384 --> 00:33:09,753
- I love you too, sweetie.
- 588
- 00:33:09,787 --> 00:33:12,123
- This is just
- like camping, guys.
- 589
- 00:33:12,155 --> 00:33:14,557
- No one ever invites me camping. I
- know I was ordered to be here...
- 590
- 00:33:14,590 --> 00:33:15,942
- Franksen, shut up!
- 591
- 00:33:15,943 --> 00:33:17,293
- I'm just saying.
- 592
- 00:33:17,326 --> 00:33:21,332
- Hey, Mur. Why they got us out here all
- night guarding this damn wreck ship?
- 593
- 00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:25,236
- Top secret stuff, refry.
- They need their best on it.
- 594
- 00:33:25,269 --> 00:33:27,270
- Oohhhh...
- 595
- 00:33:28,672 --> 00:33:31,342
- Besides, beats patrol duty.
- 596
- 00:33:33,343 --> 00:33:35,680
- What the hell was that?
- 597
- 00:33:37,681 --> 00:33:40,651
- Let's go have a looksee,
- dickholes.
- 598
- 00:33:40,683 --> 00:33:42,653
- Franksen, stay!
- 599
- 00:33:42,685 --> 00:33:44,170
- You guys sure
- you don't need...
- 600
- 00:33:44,171 --> 00:33:45,655
- Stay, Frank.
- 601
- 00:33:45,689 --> 00:33:51,062
- Okay. Careful, guys.
- There's possums and... stuff.
- 602
- 00:34:03,707 --> 00:34:08,679
- I'll be damned. More alien
- stuff. I'll radio it in.
- 603
- 00:34:08,711 --> 00:34:11,681
- Or... maybe
- we take a look first.
- 604
- 00:34:11,715 --> 00:34:16,586
- See if this one's got any of them
- fancy gadgets those morons got.
- 605
- 00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:26,129
- ...baby.
- 606
- 00:34:30,434 --> 00:34:32,403
- Careful, Mur!
- 607
- 00:34:50,786 --> 00:34:53,223
- What's that?
- 608
- 00:34:53,257 --> 00:34:55,259
- Mur, what is that?
- 609
- 00:34:58,494 --> 00:35:01,431
- Mur, what is that?
- Get it off!
- 610
- 00:35:01,465 --> 00:35:03,601
- Get it off me!
- 611
- 00:35:03,634 --> 00:35:06,836
- Aahhh! Aahhh!
- 612
- 00:35:06,869 --> 00:35:09,539
- Aahhh!
- 613
- 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,443
- Guys?
- 614
- 00:35:14,777 --> 00:35:16,780
- Hey, guys!
- 615
- 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,451
- You guys okay?
- 616
- 00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,422
- Geez.
- I thought something bad...
- 617
- 00:35:41,271 --> 00:35:42,323
- Adam?
- 618
- 00:35:42,324 --> 00:35:43,374
- No.
- 619
- 00:35:43,407 --> 00:35:44,825
- Adam!
- 620
- 00:35:44,826 --> 00:35:46,242
- I'm done! I'm not doing it.
- 621
- 00:35:46,275 --> 00:35:48,778
- Will you just listen?
- 622
- 00:35:50,914 --> 00:35:53,884
- We can cut the pieces off.
- 623
- 00:35:53,916 --> 00:35:55,401
- No. Jenkins was wrong...
- 624
- 00:35:55,402 --> 00:35:56,886
- How can you say he's wrong?
- 625
- 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,172
- He said we could do it!
- 626
- 00:35:58,173 --> 00:35:59,423
- We do that, we have nothing!
- 627
- 00:35:59,456 --> 00:36:01,592
- The suit is meant
- to work as a unit.
- 628
- 00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:03,594
- We separate the pieces,
- they're not as powerful.
- 629
- 00:36:03,626 --> 00:36:05,762
- You can forget about using
- the dark matter ray,
- 630
- 00:36:05,795 --> 00:36:08,598
- or any of the other
- higher suit functions.
- 631
- 00:36:08,632 --> 00:36:10,033
- They won't make it.
- 632
- 00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:11,434
- Make them make it!
- 633
- 00:36:11,467 --> 00:36:13,503
- That's your job.
- 634
- 00:36:13,536 --> 00:36:15,972
- My job is to be
- Champion of Earth.
- 635
- 00:36:16,005 --> 00:36:18,808
- That job was taken by the four
- men sitting down in the brig!
- 636
- 00:36:20,476 --> 00:36:22,646
- Get used to it.
- 637
- 00:36:25,315 --> 00:36:27,851
- They'll fail...
- 638
- 00:36:27,884 --> 00:36:30,788
- and then we'll have
- to cut those pieces off.
- 639
- 00:36:30,820 --> 00:36:32,523
- I guarantee it.
- 640
- 00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:48,771
- They'll fail, and then we'll
- have to cut those pieces off.
- 641
- 00:36:48,804 --> 00:36:50,674
- Thanks.
- 642
- 00:36:54,677 --> 00:36:59,717
- Everybody's sound asleep?
- The Lazer Team angels?
- 643
- 00:36:59,750 --> 00:37:01,134
- They look precious.
- 644
- 00:37:01,135 --> 00:37:02,518
- What's that then?
- 645
- 00:37:02,552 --> 00:37:05,322
- Your new uniforms.
- 646
- 00:37:05,355 --> 00:37:09,827
- Specially formulated by the U.S.
- Military with advanced microfibers.
- 647
- 00:37:09,860 --> 00:37:12,496
- And they are
- not anti-flammable.
- 648
- 00:37:12,528 --> 00:37:14,097
- So they are flammable.
- 649
- 00:37:14,098 --> 00:37:15,666
- They will not retard flames.
- 650
- 00:37:15,699 --> 00:37:18,501
- Most clothing's flammable. It's
- like, why even mention that?
- 651
- 00:37:18,534 --> 00:37:20,971
- File this under "most clothing"
- then, because these will burn.
- 652
- 00:37:21,003 --> 00:37:23,007
- Are you expecting us
- to catch on fire?
- 653
- 00:37:23,039 --> 00:37:25,543
- I should go.
- 654
- 00:37:26,876 --> 00:37:28,796
- What are you looking at?
- 655
- 00:37:28,797 --> 00:37:30,715
- I said, open the door!
- 656
- 00:37:49,032 --> 00:37:51,367
- All right. For today's test,
- 657
- 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,871
- you will learn a higher suit function
- known as the Dark Matter Ray.
- 658
- 00:37:54,905 --> 00:37:59,376
- Accessible only
- when the suit is used...
- 659
- 00:37:59,409 --> 00:38:01,912
- in unison.
- What-what's the problem?
- 660
- 00:38:01,945 --> 00:38:03,380
- This thing's
- riding up my gooch!
- 661
- 00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:04,815
- Half this suit's inside me!
- 662
- 00:38:04,847 --> 00:38:06,916
- I feel like I'm wearing
- a baby's onesie!
- 663
- 00:38:06,949 --> 00:38:10,086
- Deal with it. Aren't you guys supposed
- to be some kind of superhero thing?
- 664
- 00:38:10,119 --> 00:38:11,354
- Laser Squad?
- 665
- 00:38:11,355 --> 00:38:12,588
- It's Lazer Team!
- 666
- 00:38:12,621 --> 00:38:14,006
- Why the hell are we
- Lazer Team?
- 667
- 00:38:14,007 --> 00:38:15,391
- Because I have a laser!
- 668
- 00:38:15,425 --> 00:38:16,660
- But the rest of us don't.
- 669
- 00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:17,894
- Right, you're the team part.
- 670
- 00:38:17,927 --> 00:38:19,479
- Screw that! Boot Group!
- 671
- 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,030
- "Helmet Boy and Friends"?
- 672
- 00:38:21,063 --> 00:38:24,434
- I think we should be "The Marvelous
- Shield". Now hear me out on this...
- 673
- 00:38:24,467 --> 00:38:26,803
- - God, that's lame.
- - You come up with something better!
- 674
- 00:38:26,836 --> 00:38:28,822
- I did, "Lazer Team"!
- 675
- 00:38:28,823 --> 00:38:30,807
- Nobody cares
- about your stupid name!
- 676
- 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,809
- Can we focus
- on what we're here for?
- 677
- 00:38:32,842 --> 00:38:35,045
- Which is
- to save the planet.
- 678
- 00:38:35,077 --> 00:38:37,980
- Now, the most important
- thing to keep in mind is
- 679
- 00:38:38,014 --> 00:38:41,585
- when that first wave
- comes out...
- 680
- 00:38:41,617 --> 00:38:44,922
- Zachary, do not react. I'm
- talking to you telepathically.
- 681
- 00:38:44,954 --> 00:38:47,023
- Are you really?
- That's badass!
- 682
- 00:38:47,056 --> 00:38:49,659
- Shut up and listen!
- 683
- 00:38:49,693 --> 00:38:51,862
- Now, during the first wave...
- 684
- 00:38:51,894 --> 00:38:54,498
- Don't panic. I'm talking
- to all of you right now.
- 685
- 00:38:54,530 --> 00:38:57,134
- This is weird.
- 686
- 00:38:57,166 --> 00:39:01,804
- My helmet's abilities are growing as
- they adjust to me, but this is all new.
- 687
- 00:39:01,838 --> 00:39:04,675
- I've made this place
- so we can talk mentally.
- 688
- 00:39:04,708 --> 00:39:08,144
- I'm not sure how long I can do it, but
- I need to tell you guys something,
- 689
- 00:39:08,177 --> 00:39:10,079
- so everyone concentrate.
- 690
- 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,981
- Yeah, everybody concentrate.
- 691
- 00:39:12,014 --> 00:39:14,551
- Nobody think about
- anything weird.
- 692
- 00:39:15,085 --> 00:39:17,088
- Are you thinking
- about... you know.
- 693
- 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:19,456
- - No.
- - Yeah, you are!
- 694
- 00:39:19,489 --> 00:39:21,458
- We can see you
- thinking about it!
- 695
- 00:39:21,490 --> 00:39:23,092
- Now you are too!
- 696
- 00:39:23,126 --> 00:39:24,461
- You made me think it!
- 697
- 00:39:24,462 --> 00:39:25,796
- I can't stop it, either.
- 698
- 00:39:25,829 --> 00:39:27,865
- Guys, I overheard
- a conversation.
- 699
- 00:39:27,898 --> 00:39:29,800
- Adam wants to sabotage us.
- 700
- 00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:31,135
- He wants the pieces for himself.
- 701
- 00:39:31,168 --> 00:39:33,137
- If we don't pass
- the tests today,
- 702
- 00:39:33,170 --> 00:39:35,773
- they're gonna cut the pieces
- off. Just pay attention!
- 703
- 00:39:35,806 --> 00:39:37,875
- I'll stop thinking about it!
- 704
- 00:39:37,907 --> 00:39:40,110
- Just let me come up with
- something else. I got it.
- 705
- 00:39:40,143 --> 00:39:41,545
- You gotta be...
- 706
- 00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,947
- Hi, Daddy.
- 707
- 00:39:44,014 --> 00:39:45,983
- ...which is why
- the Dark Matter Ray may be
- 708
- 00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:48,485
- the only thing strong
- enough to defeat the Worg.
- 709
- 00:39:48,518 --> 00:39:50,487
- Let's try it.
- Just remember what I said
- 710
- 00:39:50,519 --> 00:39:52,989
- and you should be fine.
- Ready?
- 711
- 00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:56,460
- Begin.
- 712
- 00:39:56,461 --> 00:39:57,894
- Come here, you son of a bitch!
- 713
- 00:40:03,199 --> 00:40:05,501
- Throw them
- back in their cells.
- 714
- 00:40:05,534 --> 00:40:09,005
- Yo, man! Why you
- doing me like this?
- 715
- 00:40:09,039 --> 00:40:11,175
- Why you guys
- got me like this?
- 716
- 00:40:14,210 --> 00:40:16,446
- Well, that can't have
- helped our chances.
- 717
- 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,548
- Don't worry,
- we'll be fine!
- 718
- 00:40:18,581 --> 00:40:21,150
- Fine? According to Woody, we are
- literally on the chopping block.
- 719
- 00:40:21,184 --> 00:40:24,488
- I wouldn't be surprised if somebody came
- in here any minute now and took us away.
- 720
- 00:40:24,521 --> 00:40:27,691
- You're being ridiculous. They
- need us! There's no way...
- 721
- 00:40:27,724 --> 00:40:31,695
- Hey, are you guys...
- the Champion of Earth?
- 722
- 00:40:31,728 --> 00:40:34,530
- Yeah.
- 723
- 00:40:34,563 --> 00:40:36,567
- We're as close
- as you're gonna get.
- 724
- 00:40:36,599 --> 00:40:39,869
- Okay, well...
- It's time for your...
- 725
- 00:40:39,902 --> 00:40:42,805
- Jesus.
- 726
- 00:40:42,838 --> 00:40:45,074
- Your physical.
- 727
- 00:40:47,911 --> 00:40:49,980
- You were saying?
- 728
- 00:40:51,914 --> 00:40:54,050
- Dr. Flannigan to the O.R.,
- please.
- 729
- 00:40:54,083 --> 00:40:56,586
- Dr. Flannigan to the O.R.
- 730
- 00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:05,795
- All right. Patient number one,
- step right through here.
- 731
- 00:41:05,829 --> 00:41:07,698
- Don't worry, Woody.
- You'll be okay.
- 732
- 00:41:07,731 --> 00:41:09,567
- Patient number two,
- right there.
- 733
- 00:41:11,601 --> 00:41:14,905
- Patients number three and
- four, right this way, please.
- 734
- 00:41:14,938 --> 00:41:16,339
- In here?
- 735
- 00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:17,740
- We're together?
- 736
- 00:41:20,777 --> 00:41:23,112
- I ain't going in there.
- 737
- 00:41:33,188 --> 00:41:36,025
- Hey, man! Hey!
- 738
- 00:41:36,559 --> 00:41:39,695
- Hey, man, you a good doctor or
- you one of them crazy doctors?
- 739
- 00:41:39,728 --> 00:41:42,698
- You a bad doctor.
- 740
- 00:41:42,731 --> 00:41:44,701
- We were told
- this was just a physical.
- 741
- 00:41:44,733 --> 00:41:46,702
- We don't actually need
- these restraints, do we?
- 742
- 00:41:46,735 --> 00:41:48,873
- It's for your own safety.
- 743
- 00:41:50,739 --> 00:41:53,042
- Well, that didn't make me
- feel very safe.
- 744
- 00:41:53,909 --> 00:41:57,079
- Hagan! I gotta
- tell you something.
- 745
- 00:41:57,112 --> 00:42:00,583
- I just want you to know
- I've always hated you!
- 746
- 00:42:00,617 --> 00:42:02,219
- I've always hated you
- the most!
- 747
- 00:42:02,251 --> 00:42:03,569
- Not now, Herman!
- 748
- 00:42:03,570 --> 00:42:04,887
- This all your fault!
- 749
- 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,890
- If you would've just leave me and Woody
- alone, none of this would've ever happened!
- 750
- 00:42:07,923 --> 00:42:10,860
- But no, you had to take my ass
- on a space adventure!
- 751
- 00:42:10,893 --> 00:42:13,696
- Now they gonna cut my legs
- off! I'll be two feet shorter.
- 752
- 00:42:13,730 --> 00:42:16,099
- You, sir, are a bitch!
- 753
- 00:42:16,132 --> 00:42:19,670
- Herman, you just need...
- 754
- 00:42:19,702 --> 00:42:22,072
- to shut the hell up!
- 755
- 00:42:24,641 --> 00:42:26,076
- Sorry.
- 756
- 00:42:26,108 --> 00:42:28,110
- I saw the whole thing.
- That was self-defense.
- 757
- 00:42:28,143 --> 00:42:30,279
- I can't believe I'm gonna say
- this, but good job, Hagan!
- 758
- 00:42:30,313 --> 00:42:34,617
- Come on, get me now! Get me!
- 759
- 00:42:34,650 --> 00:42:36,353
- - Hold still.
- - No, you don't need that!
- 760
- 00:42:36,385 --> 00:42:38,355
- - Just unbuckle me!
- - No, there's no time.
- 761
- 00:42:38,387 --> 00:42:40,356
- There was time to unbuckle...!
- 762
- 00:42:40,389 --> 00:42:44,327
- Aahhh!
- 763
- 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,130
- I think I need a new gown.
- 764
- 00:42:48,164 --> 00:42:52,102
- Nah, you're fine. Here. Get
- dressed. Let's go find Woody.
- 765
- 00:42:52,135 --> 00:42:54,104
- And the kid!
- 766
- 00:42:54,137 --> 00:42:56,640
- Let's not get
- too far ahead of ourselves.
- 767
- 00:42:56,672 --> 00:43:00,810
- Okay, so we get a cab, take her back
- to the trailer park, all right?
- 768
- 00:43:00,844 --> 00:43:04,114
- One thing leads to another, we end
- up on my water bed making out.
- 769
- 00:43:04,146 --> 00:43:07,650
- Pretty great. Take her top
- off, wouldn't you believe it,
- 770
- 00:43:07,684 --> 00:43:11,121
- she had a tattoo of Adolf
- Hitler on her left boob,
- 771
- 00:43:11,153 --> 00:43:14,157
- and another one of Joseph
- Stalin on her right.
- 772
- 00:43:14,190 --> 00:43:16,193
- Dr. Marquee
- to the Psychiatric Ward.
- 773
- 00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:19,195
- Dr. Marquee
- to the Psychiatric Ward.
- 774
- 00:43:19,228 --> 00:43:22,665
- Aahhh!
- 775
- 00:43:22,699 --> 00:43:24,334
- Hey, hey, hey!
- 776
- 00:43:24,335 --> 00:43:25,969
- Get your pants on!
- 777
- 00:43:26,001 --> 00:43:27,938
- Hey, kid, you free?
- 778
- 00:43:27,971 --> 00:43:31,141
- Yeah. I used the laser
- gun to get my cuffs off.
- 779
- 00:43:31,173 --> 00:43:33,309
- Where's your orderly?
- 780
- 00:43:33,342 --> 00:43:36,846
- Yeah, he went away
- someplace.
- 781
- 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,365
- What's that dust?
- 782
- 00:43:38,366 --> 00:43:39,849
- Nobody.
- 783
- 00:43:39,882 --> 00:43:42,318
- I mean... nothing.
- 784
- 00:43:46,021 --> 00:43:47,223
- This is never gonna work.
- 785
- 00:43:47,224 --> 00:43:48,424
- Slow down, y'all!
- 786
- 00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:49,592
- Push with two hands!
- 787
- 00:43:49,593 --> 00:43:50,726
- I only have one hand!
- 788
- 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,264
- - I only have one hand, too!
- - Your other hand's inside that freakin' hand!
- 789
- 00:43:56,266 --> 00:43:59,068
- What is this?
- 790
- 00:43:59,101 --> 00:44:01,003
- This is one of the spacesuit guys.
- Yeah, he just keeled over and died.
- 791
- 00:44:01,036 --> 00:44:03,839
- The really fat gross one just shit
- himself and then just collapsed.
- 792
- 00:44:03,873 --> 00:44:05,842
- Yeah, I would've been
- embarrassed to die that way,
- 793
- 00:44:05,875 --> 00:44:07,844
- - just fat and covered in your own crap.
- - Absolutely.
- 794
- 00:44:07,876 --> 00:44:10,279
- It's disgusting. You can
- take a look if you want to,
- 795
- 00:44:10,313 --> 00:44:12,315
- as long as you don't mind lots of
- shit and grossness on a big fat body.
- 796
- 00:44:12,347 --> 00:44:13,582
- We'll pass. Move along.
- 797
- 00:44:13,583 --> 00:44:14,817
- You sure?
- 798
- 00:44:14,851 --> 00:44:16,470
- You can dive in there.
- 799
- 00:44:16,471 --> 00:44:18,088
- Move along! Get out!
- 800
- 00:44:18,121 --> 00:44:19,423
- Thanks, fellas. Good work.
- 801
- 00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:20,724
- God bless America.
- 802
- 00:44:20,757 --> 00:44:22,726
- What has happened
- to Boot Group, man?
- 803
- 00:44:22,759 --> 00:44:24,427
- Shut up!
- 804
- 00:44:30,432 --> 00:44:34,403
- Don't worry,
- this won't hurt a bit.
- 805
- 00:44:34,436 --> 00:44:37,740
- Aahhh! Aahhh...
- 806
- 00:44:37,773 --> 00:44:39,710
- Woody, get up! We need...
- 807
- 00:44:39,742 --> 00:44:42,378
- My God!
- They took his head!
- 808
- 00:44:42,411 --> 00:44:44,480
- Hey, guys.
- 809
- 00:44:44,514 --> 00:44:46,717
- Aahhh!
- 810
- 00:44:47,817 --> 00:44:50,920
- Kill it! Kill it!
- My God, they took my arm!
- 811
- 00:44:50,954 --> 00:44:53,056
- How am I just noticing this!
- 812
- 00:44:53,088 --> 00:44:54,557
- Aahhh!
- 813
- 00:44:54,558 --> 00:44:56,025
- Why? Why?
- 814
- 00:44:56,059 --> 00:44:58,062
- Aahhh!
- 815
- 00:44:58,260 --> 00:45:01,063
- Guys, relax, it's fine.
- 816
- 00:45:01,097 --> 00:45:04,267
- Seems Stealth Mode isn't entirely
- effective when fractured.
- 817
- 00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:05,852
- Is anyone hurt?
- 818
- 00:45:05,853 --> 00:45:07,403
- I'm fine.
- 819
- 00:45:07,436 --> 00:45:09,739
- I'm a 100 percent.
- 820
- 00:45:09,740 --> 00:45:12,041
- Yeah, I'm good.
- 821
- 00:45:12,074 --> 00:45:15,244
- Hey, thanks. I'm good, too.
- 822
- 00:45:15,277 --> 00:45:17,279
- All right, guys, hurry up.
- 823
- 00:45:17,313 --> 00:45:19,916
- They're gonna figure out
- we're gone any... second.
- 824
- 00:45:19,949 --> 00:45:22,251
- - Now what!
- - Don't worry, I know the way.
- 825
- 00:45:24,119 --> 00:45:27,056
- Okay, this should be
- the quickest way out!
- 826
- 00:45:27,090 --> 00:45:29,192
- Bollocks!
- 827
- 00:45:29,224 --> 00:45:32,061
- Woody, can you put a computer
- hack on the mainframe?
- 828
- 00:45:32,094 --> 00:45:34,130
- Screw that! I'll just
- blast it at full power.
- 829
- 00:45:45,108 --> 00:45:49,211
- Great job, kid. You hit
- everything but the goddamn door.
- 830
- 00:45:49,244 --> 00:45:51,213
- What the hell's
- this door made of?
- 831
- 00:45:53,849 --> 00:45:55,018
- Where you going?
- 832
- 00:45:57,019 --> 00:45:58,070
- Give me my suit.
- 833
- 00:45:58,071 --> 00:45:59,121
- You can have the suit!
- 834
- 00:45:59,155 --> 00:46:01,825
- Ain't nobody wants your suit!
- Boots, do something!
- 835
- 00:46:03,159 --> 00:46:05,195
- All right...
- 836
- 00:46:05,228 --> 00:46:07,831
- You're just wasting time!
- 837
- 00:46:07,864 --> 00:46:10,132
- That's
- quite impressive.
- 838
- 00:46:10,166 --> 00:46:12,169
- Whoaaa!
- 839
- 00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:15,572
- Whaaa!
- 840
- 00:46:17,873 --> 00:46:21,244
- Hey,
- you wanna give me a hand?
- 841
- 00:46:24,347 --> 00:46:25,849
- Thanks.
- 842
- 00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:27,351
- Everyone join together.
- 843
- 00:46:36,525 --> 00:46:39,161
- What?
- 844
- 00:46:39,195 --> 00:46:41,597
- How are you doing this?
- 845
- 00:46:41,630 --> 00:46:44,333
- You're not supposed to be able
- to do that with the shield.
- 846
- 00:46:44,367 --> 00:46:45,986
- Guess we're working together.
- 847
- 00:46:45,987 --> 00:46:47,604
- Teamwork and shit!
- 848
- 00:46:47,637 --> 00:46:50,340
- You're not a team!
- You're a joke!
- 849
- 00:46:50,373 --> 00:46:53,043
- You idiots think
- you can save the planet?
- 850
- 00:46:53,076 --> 00:46:57,014
- The only champion
- this planet has is me!
- 851
- 00:47:01,451 --> 00:47:04,588
- That's what you get for
- messing with Lazer Team, bitch!
- 852
- 00:47:04,621 --> 00:47:08,525
- All right! Great job, Zach!
- Good work, everybody. Let's...
- 853
- 00:47:08,557 --> 00:47:11,228
- ...All right, let's go.
- 854
- 00:47:12,394 --> 00:47:14,197
- Zach!
- 855
- 00:47:14,230 --> 00:47:15,932
- Crap!
- 856
- 00:47:20,235 --> 00:47:22,239
- Find them.
- 857
- 00:47:24,974 --> 00:47:28,411
- Attention all soldiers. The
- Perseus Project has escaped.
- 858
- 00:47:28,443 --> 00:47:30,380
- I repeat,
- Lazer Team is on the loose,
- 859
- 00:47:30,413 --> 00:47:33,115
- and they're considered
- armed and dangerous.
- 860
- 00:47:34,617 --> 00:47:37,487
- Shit! They're everywhere!
- We'll never get past them all!
- 861
- 00:47:37,519 --> 00:47:39,389
- Speak for yourself.
- 862
- 00:47:39,422 --> 00:47:41,391
- Hey, isn't Woody supposed
- to be like MacGyver now?
- 863
- 00:47:41,423 --> 00:47:43,393
- Just build us a hovercraft out
- of paper clips or some shit.
- 864
- 00:47:43,425 --> 00:47:46,195
- Does anyone remember
- where we left that gurney?
- 865
- 00:48:07,617 --> 00:48:10,954
- And that cat tells the baby,
- "What? No you didn't!"
- 866
- 00:48:10,987 --> 00:48:16,593
- Cat nap? More like
- cat "snap!" Am I right
- 867
- 00:48:16,626 --> 00:48:19,095
- Web Bomb.
- 868
- 00:48:19,128 --> 00:48:21,264
- Now, I know you people approve of
- these four fools on the Internet
- 869
- 00:48:21,297 --> 00:48:23,565
- calling themselves
- "Lazer Team".
- 870
- 00:48:23,599 --> 00:48:26,303
- They're on Facebook, they're on
- Instagram, they're on Snapchat,
- 871
- 00:48:26,335 --> 00:48:30,606
- and, Jimmy Kimmel, I know it's
- you, man! Come on, quit playin'!
- 872
- 00:48:30,639 --> 00:48:34,443
- I ain't no fool!
- Fool me once, shame on me.
- 873
- 00:48:34,476 --> 00:48:37,280
- Fool me twice,
- shame on Jimmy Kimmel!
- 874
- 00:48:39,181 --> 00:48:42,618
- Are you Mindy Hagan? We'd like
- to ask you some questions.
- 875
- 00:48:46,655 --> 00:48:49,625
- All right, we can hide out here,
- but don't touch anything.
- 876
- 00:48:49,659 --> 00:48:52,662
- It's my ex-wife's cabin.
- If you break something,
- 877
- 00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:54,664
- I'd hate to have
- to pay for this place twice.
- 878
- 00:48:54,697 --> 00:48:57,166
- God, it's like a Hobby
- Lobby threw up in here.
- 879
- 00:48:57,199 --> 00:49:00,002
- Yeah, man, is this your ex-wife's
- place or your grandma's?
- 880
- 00:49:00,036 --> 00:49:02,005
- Let's just say
- she has very classical taste.
- 881
- 00:49:02,038 --> 00:49:06,175
- This is Mindy's mom?
- Nice. I see where she gets it.
- 882
- 00:49:06,208 --> 00:49:08,644
- Put it down! Now!
- 883
- 00:49:08,677 --> 00:49:11,480
- Guys, if this countdown
- is correct,
- 884
- 00:49:11,514 --> 00:49:15,184
- this alien Worgle thing
- is gonna be here in 2 days!
- 885
- 00:49:15,217 --> 00:49:18,320
- Right! So we just chill out here,
- let this whole thing blow over.
- 886
- 00:49:18,353 --> 00:49:20,589
- Blow over?
- That's not what we're doing.
- 887
- 00:49:20,623 --> 00:49:22,108
- It's not?
- 888
- 00:49:22,109 --> 00:49:23,592
- No!
- 889
- 00:49:23,626 --> 00:49:25,495
- Statistically, the best option for the
- planet was to let the military amputate.
- 890
- 00:49:25,527 --> 00:49:28,664
- A choice I found disagreeable, given
- my zero percent survival rate.
- 891
- 00:49:28,697 --> 00:49:31,667
- Well, not zero. Zero would be the absolute
- certainty that I wouldn't survive,
- 892
- 00:49:31,701 --> 00:49:34,237
- when naturally there is an
- infinitesimally small chance I might...
- 893
- 00:49:34,269 --> 00:49:35,304
- Woody.
- 894
- 00:49:35,305 --> 00:49:36,338
- Sorry.
- 895
- 00:49:36,371 --> 00:49:39,408
- Let the government handle this.
- That's why we vote for them.
- 896
- 00:49:39,442 --> 00:49:40,944
- You don't vote, Herman.
- 897
- 00:49:40,945 --> 00:49:42,445
- It's a figure of speech!
- 898
- 00:49:42,478 --> 00:49:45,215
- Guys, we took
- their Suit of Power.
- 899
- 00:49:45,248 --> 00:49:48,018
- We're morally obligated
- to do something.
- 900
- 00:49:48,050 --> 00:49:51,587
- Don't lecture me! Only reason we're in
- this predicament is because of you!
- 901
- 00:49:51,621 --> 00:49:55,090
- Man, only reason I'm in this
- bullshit little town, you!
- 902
- 00:50:03,099 --> 00:50:06,036
- Zachary, is that you?
- 903
- 00:50:06,068 --> 00:50:09,438
- Yeah. Damn, Mindy, you look
- good! Is that cheetah print?
- 904
- 00:50:09,472 --> 00:50:11,574
- It is an Earth leopard.
- Thank you.
- 905
- 00:50:11,606 --> 00:50:14,811
- Do you still possess the
- Particle Acceleration Gauntlet?
- 906
- 00:50:14,844 --> 00:50:19,081
- What, the laser gun? Hell yeah.
- You like that, baby?
- 907
- 00:50:19,114 --> 00:50:21,150
- I like that very much.
- 908
- 00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:23,720
- What is your location?
- So we can meet and then mate.
- 909
- 00:50:23,753 --> 00:50:24,921
- Are you serious?
- 910
- 00:50:24,922 --> 00:50:26,088
- Absolutely.
- 911
- 00:50:26,121 --> 00:50:29,391
- It is important that we do that.
- But first we must meet.
- 912
- 00:50:29,425 --> 00:50:32,095
- We're just hanging out
- at your mom's old cabin.
- 913
- 00:50:32,128 --> 00:50:33,663
- I should be there soon.
- 914
- 00:50:33,695 --> 00:50:38,268
- I'm excited and plan to be
- very fertile upon arrival.
- 915
- 00:50:39,434 --> 00:50:42,105
- Yes!
- 916
- 00:50:42,137 --> 00:50:44,240
- I love this thing!
- 917
- 00:50:51,114 --> 00:50:53,583
- Attention all units.
- The Perseus Project is loose
- 918
- 00:50:53,615 --> 00:50:57,119
- and they're considered armed and
- dangerous, so proceed with caution.
- 919
- 00:50:57,152 --> 00:51:00,756
- Please keep your head on a...
- Shit.
- 920
- 00:51:00,789 --> 00:51:04,094
- My boss is here.
- Guys, I gotta call you back.
- 921
- 00:51:05,628 --> 00:51:08,765
- General Cale.
- I wasn't expecting you.
- 922
- 00:51:08,797 --> 00:51:11,600
- Emory, we appreciate your
- dedication to this project,
- 923
- 00:51:11,634 --> 00:51:13,869
- but we're moving ahead
- with the contingency plan.
- 924
- 00:51:13,902 --> 00:51:16,538
- General, I appreciate that,
- but I have the utmost confidence
- 925
- 00:51:16,572 --> 00:51:20,543
- that we're gonna be able
- to get this thing under control.
- 926
- 00:51:20,576 --> 00:51:22,811
- I feel that
- once the Lazer Team...
- 927
- 00:51:22,844 --> 00:51:25,781
- What did you
- just call them?
- 928
- 00:51:25,815 --> 00:51:29,452
- I meant the prisoners.
- Once apprehended...
- 929
- 00:51:29,485 --> 00:51:31,054
- Enough!
- 930
- 00:51:31,055 --> 00:51:32,622
- Sir.
- 931
- 00:51:32,655 --> 00:51:35,792
- Bill! We need to try
- fighting this alien first,
- 932
- 00:51:35,824 --> 00:51:40,362
- before we launch a nuclear weapon
- that just kills millions of people!
- 933
- 00:51:40,396 --> 00:51:44,901
- Prepare the nuke.
- We've got a planet to save.
- 934
- 00:51:44,934 --> 00:51:48,171
- And more importantly,
- a nation.
- 935
- 00:51:59,949 --> 00:52:01,801
- Dude, what's his problem?
- 936
- 00:52:01,802 --> 00:52:03,653
- Who, Herman?
- 937
- 00:52:03,686 --> 00:52:07,356
- Yeah. He acts like Half-ass Hagan's the
- worst thing that's ever happened to him.
- 938
- 00:52:07,389 --> 00:52:09,658
- But they must've been friends
- at some point. Look.
- 939
- 00:52:09,692 --> 00:52:12,327
- Yeah. Herman doesn't really
- ever talk about it.
- 940
- 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,129
- It's complicated.
- 941
- 00:52:14,130 --> 00:52:15,898
- Complicated? Like gay?
- 942
- 00:52:15,931 --> 00:52:18,200
- No. Why would you
- assume gay?
- 943
- 00:52:18,233 --> 00:52:20,502
- Well, you paused.
- Seemed like a gay pause.
- 944
- 00:52:20,536 --> 00:52:22,672
- What's a gay pause?
- It was a regular pause.
- 945
- 00:52:22,704 --> 00:52:24,673
- Whatever. I'm gonna
- find out what happened.
- 946
- 00:52:27,710 --> 00:52:29,746
- No, don't get up, guys.
- 947
- 00:52:29,778 --> 00:52:32,315
- Just somebody knocking on the
- door of our secret hideout.
- 948
- 00:52:33,548 --> 00:52:34,700
- Mindy!
- 949
- 00:52:34,701 --> 00:52:35,851
- Hello, Father.
- 950
- 00:52:35,885 --> 00:52:37,637
- How did you find us?
- 951
- 00:52:37,638 --> 00:52:39,389
- I communicated with Zachary.
- 952
- 00:52:39,422 --> 00:52:40,657
- Really?
- 953
- 00:52:40,690 --> 00:52:43,193
- He's one
- of the Earth Champions.
- 954
- 00:52:43,226 --> 00:52:45,228
- That was a really formal
- way of saying that.
- 955
- 00:52:45,260 --> 00:52:47,230
- I purchased food
- as a form of distraction.
- 956
- 00:52:47,262 --> 00:52:50,500
- Food! My God! Thank you,
- I'm starving! Come on in.
- 957
- 00:52:53,568 --> 00:52:55,704
- Thank you so much.
- 958
- 00:52:55,737 --> 00:52:57,222
- Hey, Mindy.
- 959
- 00:52:57,223 --> 00:52:58,707
- Hello, Zachary.
- 960
- 00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:02,512
- Y'all eating in here?
- All right!
- 961
- 00:53:02,545 --> 00:53:07,282
- I hate to interrupt, but may I
- have a moment in private with you?
- 962
- 00:53:07,315 --> 00:53:10,652
- ...yeah. Sure.
- 963
- 00:53:10,686 --> 00:53:13,556
- It's best for us to be alone
- so that no one can monitor
- 964
- 00:53:13,588 --> 00:53:17,860
- things I'm going
- to say and do to you.
- 965
- 00:53:17,893 --> 00:53:20,429
- Where your daughter at?
- 966
- 00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:23,432
- Before we do this,
- I have to tell you something.
- 967
- 00:53:23,465 --> 00:53:25,902
- I know you think I'm like
- a stud, and I am,
- 968
- 00:53:25,934 --> 00:53:29,438
- but I've never actually
- been with a girl.
- 969
- 00:53:29,472 --> 00:53:31,740
- But I totally practice
- on myself all the time,
- 970
- 00:53:31,773 --> 00:53:34,543
- and I'm pretty sure
- that counts.
- 971
- 00:53:34,577 --> 00:53:37,447
- And it's not that I don't want to
- bang you, I mean, I absolutely do.
- 972
- 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:41,451
- But I also like you. Maybe
- those are connected somehow.
- 973
- 00:53:41,483 --> 00:53:43,920
- I don't know.
- Does that make sense?
- 974
- 00:53:48,623 --> 00:53:50,426
- Thank you, God.
- 975
- 00:53:53,963 --> 00:53:56,599
- What the hell?
- 976
- 00:53:56,632 --> 00:54:00,003
- Have you been working out?
- 977
- 00:54:06,442 --> 00:54:09,846
- Give it to me.
- Give it to me now!
- 978
- 00:54:12,347 --> 00:54:14,951
- You like it rough?
- 979
- 00:54:14,983 --> 00:54:16,920
- Too rough! Too rough!
- 980
- 00:54:18,621 --> 00:54:21,358
- Jesus, Mindy!
- 981
- 00:54:22,557 --> 00:54:23,926
- What do you want?
- 982
- 00:54:23,927 --> 00:54:25,295
- I want what you have.
- 983
- 00:54:28,797 --> 00:54:31,500
- Give it to me, Zachary!
- Or I'll rip it off!
- 984
- 00:54:31,534 --> 00:54:33,936
- Are you serious?
- 985
- 00:54:33,969 --> 00:54:36,639
- Aahhh!
- 986
- 00:54:36,672 --> 00:54:38,407
- Zachary?
- 987
- 00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,510
- All right, maybe we should
- just be friends!
- 988
- 00:54:46,349 --> 00:54:49,751
- Now he's a happy little tree. He was
- sad till we put some leaves on him.
- 989
- 00:54:49,784 --> 00:54:51,788
- But in our world,
- everything's happy.
- 990
- 00:54:57,592 --> 00:54:59,661
- Clouds are one of the freest
- things in nature.
- 991
- 00:54:59,695 --> 00:55:02,565
- Hey, man, look. I don't like
- you, but this is embarrassing.
- 992
- 00:55:05,067 --> 00:55:08,737
- Damnit, Mindy!
- 993
- 00:55:08,771 --> 00:55:10,740
- Your grandkid
- gonna come out half laser.
- 994
- 00:55:10,773 --> 00:55:13,843
- All right. That's it.
- I can't take it anymore.
- 995
- 00:55:13,876 --> 00:55:14,911
- Mindy!
- 996
- 00:55:14,943 --> 00:55:16,612
- Jesus!
- 997
- 00:55:16,644 --> 00:55:19,548
- God, no, I'm gonna throw up!
- My God! No, no, no!
- 998
- 00:55:19,581 --> 00:55:21,550
- Mindy?
- 999
- 00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:28,057
- Mindy, honey, are you okay?
- What did you do to her?
- 1000
- 00:55:28,090 --> 00:55:30,693
- Y'alls relationship is complicated.
- What you need to do is talk it out.
- 1001
- 00:55:30,726 --> 00:55:33,829
- Herman, look out!
- 1002
- 00:55:36,398 --> 00:55:38,835
- Zach, no! Don't lay
- a hand on my...
- 1003
- 00:55:38,867 --> 00:55:40,570
- daughter.
- 1004
- 00:55:40,603 --> 00:55:42,405
- Mindy, no, no, no, wait!
- 1005
- 00:55:51,914 --> 00:55:55,985
- Aahhh! Oohhh!
- 1006
- 00:55:56,018 --> 00:55:58,487
- Woody!
- 1007
- 00:55:58,521 --> 00:56:02,392
- Aahhh!
- 1008
- 00:56:06,094 --> 00:56:08,463
- Hey, hey, hey!
- 1009
- 00:56:08,496 --> 00:56:10,132
- Hey, hey!
- No, no, no, no!
- 1010
- 00:56:10,166 --> 00:56:11,584
- Zach, don't hurt her!
- 1011
- 00:56:11,585 --> 00:56:13,001
- She's gone crazy!
- 1012
- 00:56:13,034 --> 00:56:16,505
- She's possessed, Zach!
- That thing on her neck!
- 1013
- 00:56:20,708 --> 00:56:22,744
- Herman, use the tape!
- 1014
- 00:56:22,777 --> 00:56:25,614
- Screw that! Nobody
- possesses my girlfriend!
- 1015
- 00:56:29,485 --> 00:56:31,621
- I'm your girlfriend?
- 1016
- 00:56:31,622 --> 00:56:33,756
- Well, yeah...
- 1017
- 00:56:33,789 --> 00:56:35,792
- Yeah, that's my girl!
- 1018
- 00:56:36,025 --> 00:56:38,128
- Herman, now!
- 1019
- 00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:48,971
- Mindy! I got her. Come on. We need
- to get this thing off of her!
- 1020
- 00:56:49,003 --> 00:56:51,540
- W-w-wait!
- 1021
- 00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:56,179
- I am Woodrow, a Champion of
- Earth. To whom are we speaking?
- 1022
- 00:56:56,211 --> 00:56:58,681
- I know this device
- is monitored.
- 1023
- 00:57:00,114 --> 00:57:02,951
- This one is now
- a servant of the Worg.
- 1024
- 00:57:02,985 --> 00:57:04,404
- Those the bad guys.
- 1025
- 00:57:04,405 --> 00:57:05,822
- Thanks for the update, Herman.
- 1026
- 00:57:05,855 --> 00:57:08,925
- It is our planet or yours,
- and it will be yours.
- 1027
- 00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:11,793
- What are you talking about? We don't
- want your planet! We just want peace!
- 1028
- 00:57:11,827 --> 00:57:14,697
- The Loodels wanted peace.
- Now they are nothing.
- 1029
- 00:57:14,730 --> 00:57:16,998
- No, it doesn't have
- to be like that! Nobody...
- 1030
- 00:57:17,032 --> 00:57:19,869
- Zach, no!
- 1031
- 00:57:19,902 --> 00:57:22,905
- What you do that for,
- you bellhead!
- 1032
- 00:57:22,938 --> 00:57:24,606
- To kill the alien bug thing that was making
- my girlfriend like my ex-girlfriends!
- 1033
- 00:57:24,639 --> 00:57:26,675
- We were negotiating with it!
- You just destroyed
- 1034
- 00:57:26,708 --> 00:57:28,677
- our means to communicate
- with the Worg!
- 1035
- 00:57:28,710 --> 00:57:30,579
- My bad.
- 1036
- 00:57:30,612 --> 00:57:33,682
- Hey, why's that thing
- making a beeping noise?
- 1037
- 00:57:33,715 --> 00:57:36,085
- No! It's got
- a self-destruct mechanism!
- 1038
- 00:57:36,117 --> 00:57:37,719
- What do we do?
- 1039
- 00:57:39,021 --> 00:57:41,191
- You guys get her out of here!
- 1040
- 00:57:43,858 --> 00:57:44,960
- Go, go, go, go!
- 1041
- 00:57:49,597 --> 00:57:50,666
- I guess it's not gonna blow...
- 1042
- 00:57:57,206 --> 00:58:00,543
- Aahhh!
- 1043
- 00:58:06,215 --> 00:58:08,550
- What took you so long,
- Half-ass?
- 1044
- 00:58:08,583 --> 00:58:10,719
- Hagan, you're alive!
- 1045
- 00:58:10,753 --> 00:58:13,588
- Yeah, that's the bad news.
- The good news
- 1046
- 00:58:13,621 --> 00:58:17,559
- is you can spend the rest of your life earning
- the money to buy your ex a new house!
- 1047
- 00:58:17,592 --> 00:58:19,761
- Daddy, what are you doing here?
- 1048
- 00:58:19,795 --> 00:58:23,266
- Wait... what am I doing here?
- 1049
- 00:58:33,641 --> 00:58:36,745
- Those headlights?
- The military!
- 1050
- 00:58:36,778 --> 00:58:40,048
- No, guys? Those soldiers are
- possessed by Worg parasites, too!
- 1051
- 00:58:40,081 --> 00:58:41,951
- They're trying to sabotage us!
- 1052
- 00:58:41,983 --> 00:58:44,219
- Everybody, get in the truck!
- Now!
- 1053
- 00:58:44,253 --> 00:58:46,623
- Mindy, come on! Go!
- 1054
- 00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:51,093
- Go! Come on!
- 1055
- 00:58:51,126 --> 00:58:53,897
- Somebody's gonna have
- to get out and push!
- 1056
- 00:58:56,097 --> 00:58:58,584
- Screw you guys!
- 1057
- 00:58:58,585 --> 00:59:01,070
- Go, go, go!
- 1058
- 00:59:01,103 --> 00:59:02,972
- Boot Group!
- 1059
- 00:59:06,608 --> 00:59:08,260
- Herman, you're doing it!
- 1060
- 00:59:08,261 --> 00:59:09,911
- No shit I'm doing it!
- 1061
- 00:59:09,945 --> 00:59:12,014
- Faster, Herman!
- They're gaining on us!
- 1062
- 00:59:12,047 --> 00:59:14,617
- I'm pushing a truck, man!
- 1063
- 00:59:14,650 --> 00:59:17,619
- What the hell is going on!
- 1064
- 00:59:17,652 --> 00:59:20,255
- No time to explain! You were
- possessed by an alien probe,
- 1065
- 00:59:20,289 --> 00:59:22,625
- and now we're being
- chased by four soldiers
- 1066
- 00:59:22,657 --> 00:59:24,726
- who also appear to have been
- possessed in the same way!
- 1067
- 00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:26,829
- I guess there was
- time to explain.
- 1068
- 00:59:28,230 --> 00:59:30,932
- Faster, Herman!
- Use those power thighs!
- 1069
- 00:59:30,965 --> 00:59:32,467
- Faster, fat-ass!
- 1070
- 00:59:32,468 --> 00:59:33,969
- Man, you get out and push!
- 1071
- 00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,092
- Board the truck!
- 1072
- 00:59:39,093 --> 00:59:40,343
- They're coming up on our ass!
- 1073
- 00:59:40,376 --> 00:59:42,678
- Herman, I'm coming!
- 1074
- 00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:43,612
- Take them out!
- 1075
- 00:59:45,146 --> 00:59:46,882
- No, wait! Maybe we can...
- 1076
- 00:59:50,853 --> 00:59:52,021
- Yeah!
- 1077
- 00:59:53,989 --> 00:59:56,358
- Hey, dickhead! Knock-knock!
- 1078
- 00:59:56,391 --> 00:59:59,194
- Hagan, there's a low-hanging
- obstacle you should look out for!
- 1079
- 00:59:59,228 --> 01:00:01,896
- What did you say?
- 1080
- 01:00:01,929 --> 01:00:02,931
- Never mind!
- 1081
- 01:00:02,932 --> 01:00:03,932
- Yeah!
- 1082
- 01:00:04,166 --> 01:00:07,670
- Kill them all!
- 1083
- 01:00:09,438 --> 01:00:10,790
- Goddamnit!
- 1084
- 01:00:10,791 --> 01:00:12,141
- I think we've agitated them!
- 1085
- 01:00:16,077 --> 01:00:19,882
- Destroy the truck!
- 1086
- 01:00:19,914 --> 01:00:21,416
- Get them, Zachary!
- 1087
- 01:00:21,417 --> 01:00:22,918
- I got this!
- 1088
- 01:00:22,951 --> 01:00:24,403
- Down, Herman!
- 1089
- 01:00:24,404 --> 01:00:25,855
- Don't miss! Don't miss!
- 1090
- 01:00:25,887 --> 01:00:28,290
- Don't move!
- 1091
- 01:00:30,358 --> 01:00:32,862
- Bloody hell!
- You missed them!
- 1092
- 01:00:38,032 --> 01:00:41,036
- Never mind. Good job.
- 1093
- 01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:42,505
- Great job, kid!
- 1094
- 01:00:42,506 --> 01:00:43,939
- Yeah!
- 1095
- 01:00:43,972 --> 01:00:45,975
- Take that
- you sons of bitches!
- 1096
- 01:00:47,943 --> 01:00:49,912
- Two million views and counting.
- 1097
- 01:00:49,945 --> 01:00:54,350
- Damnit! What the hell is it with
- these kids and the Internet?
- 1098
- 01:00:54,382 --> 01:00:57,018
- They were actually
- working together.
- 1099
- 01:00:57,052 --> 01:00:59,889
- It's unbelievable.
- 1100
- 01:00:59,922 --> 01:01:03,226
- You guys wanna see a video
- of a guy eating a tennis shoe?
- 1101
- 01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:07,897
- Keep going, Herman.
- Good job, Herman. Yes!
- 1102
- 01:01:07,929 --> 01:01:10,899
- Just keep pushing.
- Just a little bit further.
- 1103
- 01:01:10,932 --> 01:01:13,902
- Keep it coming. Just a
- little... Okay. All right.
- 1104
- 01:01:13,936 --> 01:01:16,204
- Wait. Our high school? Woody, what
- the hell's the matter with you?
- 1105
- 01:01:16,237 --> 01:01:18,206
- Why not just
- steer us towards prison?
- 1106
- 01:01:18,239 --> 01:01:20,208
- Guys, I'm picking up
- a transmission.
- 1107
- 01:01:20,242 --> 01:01:22,245
- You all should hear this.
- 1108
- 01:01:23,778 --> 01:01:25,380
- - In here.
- - Wait!
- 1109
- 01:01:25,414 --> 01:01:27,383
- We have a computer lab
- at the school?
- 1110
- 01:01:27,416 --> 01:01:29,385
- Nerds must love this place!
- 1111
- 01:01:29,418 --> 01:01:32,054
- Don't you go to school here?
- 1112
- 01:01:32,086 --> 01:01:35,056
- You are looking live
- at Milford, Texas.
- 1113
- 01:01:35,090 --> 01:01:37,927
- This is truly
- a landmark event, Janine.
- 1114
- 01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:41,230
- The craft descended
- only a few minutes ago,
- 1115
- 01:01:41,262 --> 01:01:45,800
- but already has altered the
- course of human history forever.
- 1116
- 01:01:45,833 --> 01:01:47,936
- And to anyone
- who's ever wondered,
- 1117
- 01:01:47,969 --> 01:01:50,806
- are we alone in the universe?
- 1118
- 01:01:52,106 --> 01:01:54,777
- There's your answer.
- 1119
- 01:01:54,809 --> 01:01:56,778
- Man, look at the size
- of that thing!
- 1120
- 01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:00,249
- Janine,
- something is happening.
- 1121
- 01:02:00,282 --> 01:02:02,952
- It appears the ship
- has beamed something down.
- 1122
- 01:02:02,985 --> 01:02:05,021
- It's some sort of force field.
- 1123
- 01:02:11,994 --> 01:02:17,298
- Earth mongrels, the battle for
- your world will soon begin.
- 1124
- 01:02:17,331 --> 01:02:20,835
- Bring your pitiful champions
- to the field of battle.
- 1125
- 01:02:20,869 --> 01:02:24,206
- A failure to appear
- will be considered forfeit,
- 1126
- 01:02:24,239 --> 01:02:27,842
- followed by the destruction
- of your entire planet.
- 1127
- 01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:31,147
- You have 24 hours to comply.
- 1128
- 01:02:33,148 --> 01:02:37,887
- We are Worg.
- We are your destruction.
- 1129
- 01:02:44,159 --> 01:02:46,295
- What a dick!
- 1130
- 01:02:46,327 --> 01:02:49,465
- Don't worry, Mindy, we'll
- do something. Right, guys?
- 1131
- 01:02:49,498 --> 01:02:51,534
- Nuh-that's it for me.
- I'm out.
- 1132
- 01:02:51,567 --> 01:02:54,570
- You're out? Herman, the
- whole planet's involved!
- 1133
- 01:02:54,603 --> 01:02:57,840
- We've done this before,
- Half-ass. You and me.
- 1134
- 01:02:57,873 --> 01:03:00,476
- We know how this goes.
- 1135
- 01:03:03,878 --> 01:03:05,882
- Done what?
- 1136
- 01:03:07,349 --> 01:03:10,853
- It was 20 years ago,
- State Championships.
- 1137
- 01:03:10,885 --> 01:03:13,154
- They called me
- the Texas Tornado.
- 1138
- 01:03:13,188 --> 01:03:15,157
- I had a full
- scholarship all set up.
- 1139
- 01:03:15,190 --> 01:03:18,226
- We were 10 yards
- from a perfect record.
- 1140
- 01:03:18,260 --> 01:03:20,229
- Hut, hut!
- 1141
- 01:03:20,262 --> 01:03:23,065
- Hagan had to block one guy.
- 1142
- 01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:28,137
- He missed. I got blindsided.
- 1143
- 01:03:28,170 --> 01:03:32,041
- Lost the championship,
- and I never...
- 1144
- 01:03:32,074 --> 01:03:33,626
- Your limp.
- 1145
- 01:03:33,627 --> 01:03:35,177
- I lost everything!
- 1146
- 01:03:35,210 --> 01:03:38,947
- My scholarship,
- my future, my dream!
- 1147
- 01:03:38,981 --> 01:03:41,350
- Because somebody who was
- supposed to be my friend...
- 1148
- 01:03:41,382 --> 01:03:44,352
- supposed to have my back,
- wasn't there!
- 1149
- 01:03:44,385 --> 01:03:47,523
- We weren't champions then, and we sure
- as hell ain't gonna be champions now!
- 1150
- 01:03:47,556 --> 01:03:50,893
- Amy wants to fight these things?
- Man, I say let them.
- 1151
- 01:03:50,925 --> 01:03:54,529
- I'm sitting this one out.
- You can block for somebody else.
- 1152
- 01:03:54,563 --> 01:03:57,333
- Don't you understand that we
- have a second chance here?
- 1153
- 01:03:57,365 --> 01:04:00,068
- You're not strong enough
- to block with the shield!
- 1154
- 01:04:00,101 --> 01:04:02,070
- It's gonna be a two-hit fight!
- 1155
- 01:04:02,103 --> 01:04:04,539
- The Worg hits you,
- you hit the ground!
- 1156
- 01:04:04,572 --> 01:04:06,608
- Then he hits me
- and I'm dead!
- 1157
- 01:04:06,641 --> 01:04:07,842
- That's more than two hits.
- 1158
- 01:04:07,843 --> 01:04:09,043
- Shut up, Woody!
- 1159
- 01:04:09,077 --> 01:04:12,915
- Herman, I cannot change
- what happened in the past.
- 1160
- 01:04:12,947 --> 01:04:15,384
- All I can do is make
- things better now.
- 1161
- 01:04:15,416 --> 01:04:20,989
- No matter what comes your
- way, I will block it.
- 1162
- 01:04:22,456 --> 01:04:24,559
- What...!
- 1163
- 01:04:24,592 --> 01:04:27,195
- Hey, nice block, asshole!
- 1164
- 01:04:27,228 --> 01:04:28,963
- No! That is not my fault! I
- didn't know we were starting!
- 1165
- 01:04:28,996 --> 01:04:31,266
- Shut up! Damnit!
- 1166
- 01:04:37,239 --> 01:04:38,257
- I'm out, bitch!
- 1167
- 01:04:38,258 --> 01:04:39,275
- We'll be all right!
- 1168
- 01:04:39,307 --> 01:04:41,277
- Just stick together!
- 1169
- 01:04:42,543 --> 01:04:44,179
- Daddy!
- 1170
- 01:04:48,215 --> 01:04:50,886
- Zach, make it!
- 1171
- 01:04:55,123 --> 01:04:56,659
- Mindy, wait!
- 1172
- 01:04:59,126 --> 01:05:01,063
- Why does everything
- always explode?
- 1173
- 01:05:23,485 --> 01:05:26,121
- Mindy?
- 1174
- 01:05:26,153 --> 01:05:28,257
- Crap! It's this asshole.
- 1175
- 01:05:33,561 --> 01:05:36,097
- Gotcha!
- 1176
- 01:05:36,130 --> 01:05:38,000
- Shit!
- 1177
- 01:05:42,304 --> 01:05:44,273
- Goddamnit, Woody!
- 1178
- 01:05:54,081 --> 01:05:56,585
- Shit!
- 1179
- 01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,706
- Come on.
- 1180
- 01:06:00,707 --> 01:06:02,992
- Nice try... Champ.
- 1181
- 01:06:04,326 --> 01:06:05,977
- Mindy!
- 1182
- 01:06:05,978 --> 01:06:07,628
- Dickhead!
- 1183
- 01:06:07,661 --> 01:06:09,030
- Run, run, run! Come on!
- 1184
- 01:06:13,735 --> 01:06:15,371
- Don't look back!
- 1185
- 01:06:15,372 --> 01:06:17,006
- Why would I look back?
- 1186
- 01:06:17,039 --> 01:06:18,541
- Aahhh!
- 1187
- 01:06:22,677 --> 01:06:25,114
- Aahhh!
- 1188
- 01:06:27,615 --> 01:06:29,485
- Come on, come on, come on!
- 1189
- 01:06:38,159 --> 01:06:40,261
- Aahhh!
- 1190
- 01:06:43,097 --> 01:06:45,500
- Aahhh! Bugger me!
- 1191
- 01:07:00,282 --> 01:07:03,052
- Yes!
- 1192
- 01:07:14,463 --> 01:07:16,665
- Meant to do that, bitch!
- 1193
- 01:07:20,268 --> 01:07:23,139
- No, wait. Mindy, Mindy,
- stop, stop, stop.
- 1194
- 01:07:24,773 --> 01:07:27,443
- Okay, we're good. Come on.
- 1195
- 01:07:27,476 --> 01:07:29,711
- Wait, wait, wait!
- 1196
- 01:07:29,744 --> 01:07:31,163
- We want the suit!
- 1197
- 01:07:31,164 --> 01:07:32,581
- Just stop! Just let her go!
- 1198
- 01:07:32,614 --> 01:07:34,750
- I want the suit!
- 1199
- 01:07:34,782 --> 01:07:36,351
- Woody, where's Mindy?
- 1200
- 01:07:36,384 --> 01:07:38,586
- - A possessed soldier has her.
- - What? Where?
- 1201
- 01:07:38,619 --> 01:07:40,371
- Is that Hagan?
- 1202
- 01:07:40,372 --> 01:07:42,123
- Come on, I've got an idea.
- 1203
- 01:07:42,157 --> 01:07:43,759
- I hate when you have ideas.
- 1204
- 01:07:43,791 --> 01:07:46,594
- Just calm down. You don't
- wanna do this, okay?
- 1205
- 01:07:46,628 --> 01:07:47,880
- Between you and me, right?
- 1206
- 01:07:47,881 --> 01:07:49,131
- We will destroy you
- 1207
- 01:07:49,164 --> 01:07:51,133
- like we've destroyed
- all the others.
- 1208
- 01:07:51,166 --> 01:07:53,602
- Your species cannot compete
- with Worg!
- 1209
- 01:07:53,635 --> 01:07:57,439
- Hagan, listen to me. Raise
- your shield. Zach has a shot.
- 1210
- 01:07:57,472 --> 01:07:58,674
- I do?
- 1211
- 01:07:58,675 --> 01:07:59,875
- Zach, don't shoot!
- 1212
- 01:07:59,907 --> 01:08:02,110
- He has Mindy!
- You'll hit her!
- 1213
- 01:08:02,143 --> 01:08:05,213
- Tell your friends to come out,
- and I won't make her suffer!
- 1214
- 01:08:05,246 --> 01:08:06,497
- Raise the shield, Hagan.
- 1215
- 01:08:06,498 --> 01:08:07,748
- What's going on?
- 1216
- 01:08:07,782 --> 01:08:09,217
- No, I'm not doing it, Woody!
- 1217
- 01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:10,652
- 1.
- 1218
- 01:08:13,855 --> 01:08:15,007
- 2.
- 1219
- 01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,158
- Do not shoot.
- 1220
- 01:08:16,190 --> 01:08:17,827
- Come on!
- 1221
- 01:08:20,561 --> 01:08:22,564
- 3.
- 1222
- 01:08:23,832 --> 01:08:25,534
- Hagan, now!
- 1223
- 01:08:38,212 --> 01:08:39,514
- Hey, you owe me.
- 1224
- 01:08:39,515 --> 01:08:40,815
- Herman, I said thank you.
- 1225
- 01:08:40,849 --> 01:08:42,818
- - What else do you want from me?
- - I want a case of beer,
- 1226
- 01:08:42,850 --> 01:08:44,652
- A foot massage,
- and another case of beer.
- 1227
- 01:08:44,685 --> 01:08:46,621
- Mindy!
- 1228
- 01:08:49,690 --> 01:08:52,693
- Get off me, fool!
- Ain't nobody hugging you!
- 1229
- 01:08:52,726 --> 01:08:54,112
- Everybody okay?
- 1230
- 01:08:54,113 --> 01:08:55,497
- Shot the crap out of them.
- 1231
- 01:08:55,529 --> 01:08:58,166
- Hey, everyone,
- it's not over yet.
- 1232
- 01:08:58,199 --> 01:08:59,685
- What now?
- 1233
- 01:08:59,686 --> 01:09:01,170
- The military are coming.
- 1234
- 01:09:01,203 --> 01:09:03,772
- Come on, we gotta move. Let's just get
- out of town and find a place to lie low.
- 1235
- 01:09:03,805 --> 01:09:04,823
- No.
- 1236
- 01:09:04,824 --> 01:09:05,841
- No?
- 1237
- 01:09:05,873 --> 01:09:09,443
- No, I'm not going.
- I'm tired of making messes
- 1238
- 01:09:09,476 --> 01:09:11,680
- and then just running away
- from them!
- 1239
- 01:09:11,712 --> 01:09:14,550
- So, if you guys wanna run,
- you go ahead and run.
- 1240
- 01:09:14,582 --> 01:09:17,652
- Okay, I get it. These guys,
- they almost killed us.
- 1241
- 01:09:17,685 --> 01:09:19,688
- And yes,
- my teenage daughter
- 1242
- 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,523
- basically beat the shit out
- of all 4 of us at once.
- 1243
- 01:09:22,556 --> 01:09:26,862
- But, at the end of the day,
- when this thing shows up,
- 1244
- 01:09:26,895 --> 01:09:31,533
- if we're not there
- to fight it, who's gonna be?
- 1245
- 01:09:31,565 --> 01:09:36,337
- I'm staying.
- Are you with me?
- 1246
- 01:09:58,460 --> 01:09:59,678
- Where are the others?
- 1247
- 01:09:59,679 --> 01:10:00,895
- They left.
- 1248
- 01:10:00,929 --> 01:10:03,297
- I don't know where they
- went, and I don't care.
- 1249
- 01:10:03,331 --> 01:10:05,734
- You have no idea
- how much damage you've done.
- 1250
- 01:10:05,766 --> 01:10:09,604
- Just cut this thing off of me, give
- it to somebody who deserves it.
- 1251
- 01:10:09,637 --> 01:10:12,373
- Get him out of here.
- 1252
- 01:10:17,779 --> 01:10:20,916
- 20 minutes after the
- so-called "Doomsday Broadcast",
- 1253
- 01:10:20,948 --> 01:10:23,751
- police and National Guard units
- have cordoned off the stadium
- 1254
- 01:10:23,784 --> 01:10:26,822
- and are urging civilians
- to stay clear.
- 1255
- 01:10:26,854 --> 01:10:29,023
- Those that approached it
- earlier, were unable to enter
- 1256
- 01:10:29,056 --> 01:10:32,260
- due to what appears to be
- some sort of force field.
- 1257
- 01:10:32,293 --> 01:10:34,930
- Questions remain.
- Who are these aliens?
- 1258
- 01:10:34,962 --> 01:10:38,466
- What happens when the timer
- at the stadium goes to zero?
- 1259
- 01:10:38,500 --> 01:10:41,270
- And who are
- the Champions of Earth?
- 1260
- 01:10:41,302 --> 01:10:44,773
- Is it this Lazer Team that's been
- making the rounds on social media?
- 1261
- 01:10:44,805 --> 01:10:49,777
- Now joining us via satellite to discuss,
- noted physicist Neil Degrasse Tyson.
- 1262
- 01:10:49,810 --> 01:10:52,046
- Dr. Tyson, what do you
- make of all this?
- 1263
- 01:10:52,079 --> 01:10:55,951
- My calculations show that,
- scientifically...
- 1264
- 01:10:55,984 --> 01:10:57,953
- we're screwed.
- 1265
- 01:11:10,832 --> 01:11:13,802
- Man, what are we doing here? We
- should be getting out of town.
- 1266
- 01:11:13,835 --> 01:11:15,804
- Well, by my calculations,
- the last place
- 1267
- 01:11:15,837 --> 01:11:17,806
- anyone's gonna look for us
- is at the actual fight.
- 1268
- 01:11:17,838 --> 01:11:20,708
- We should be
- pretty safe here.
- 1269
- 01:11:20,742 --> 01:11:22,978
- - What are we gonna do, guys?
- - I don't know.
- 1270
- 01:11:23,011 --> 01:11:25,347
- Maybe we should've
- turned ourselves in.
- 1271
- 01:11:25,380 --> 01:11:27,516
- I feel like these people
- deserve a chance to live.
- 1272
- 01:11:27,548 --> 01:11:30,351
- These people?
- These people are idiots.
- 1273
- 01:11:30,385 --> 01:11:32,387
- Look how that guy
- spelled "apocalypse".
- 1274
- 01:11:32,420 --> 01:11:34,855
- The question here
- at Milford Stadium is this,
- 1275
- 01:11:34,889 --> 01:11:38,527
- will this Lazer Team show up to
- battle for the fate of the Earth?
- 1276
- 01:11:38,560 --> 01:11:40,796
- We have one person
- who seems to know the answer.
- 1277
- 01:11:40,828 --> 01:11:42,730
- No!
- 1278
- 01:11:42,764 --> 01:11:45,400
- Do you think the Lazer Team
- is going to show up?
- 1279
- 01:11:45,432 --> 01:11:48,703
- They're not afraid of monsters,
- aliens, or anything else.
- 1280
- 01:11:48,737 --> 01:11:50,939
- Is there anything you wanna
- say to the Lazer Team?
- 1281
- 01:11:50,971 --> 01:11:55,676
- Save us, Lazer Team. Don't let
- the Worg eat my brain.
- 1282
- 01:11:55,710 --> 01:11:57,746
- We're pieces of shit.
- 1283
- 01:11:57,779 --> 01:12:01,683
- Well, technically, the human
- body is .5 percent feces, so...
- 1284
- 01:12:01,716 --> 01:12:03,385
- Probably skews higher for us.
- 1285
- 01:12:03,386 --> 01:12:05,054
- Shut up, Woody!
- 1286
- 01:12:12,594 --> 01:12:16,698
- Okay, we'll get you prepped, and then
- we'll get this thing off of you.
- 1287
- 01:12:16,730 --> 01:12:18,699
- Be right back.
- 1288
- 01:12:18,733 --> 01:12:21,802
- It's the first time I've done
- one of these. So exciting!
- 1289
- 01:12:21,836 --> 01:12:24,439
- Yeah, we're all happy for you.
- 1290
- 01:12:27,442 --> 01:12:28,660
- Screw it, I'm going in.
- 1291
- 01:12:28,661 --> 01:12:29,877
- Zach.
- 1292
- 01:12:29,911 --> 01:12:32,447
- Zachary! Where are you going?
- 1293
- 01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:34,715
- You can't do this alone!
- 1294
- 01:12:34,748 --> 01:12:37,086
- Without you
- we're just "Team".
- 1295
- 01:12:38,420 --> 01:12:40,422
- Wait, wait. What do you
- think you're doing?
- 1296
- 01:12:40,454 --> 01:12:42,724
- It's cool.
- I'm the Champion.
- 1297
- 01:12:42,756 --> 01:12:44,725
- - You're the Champion?
- - Yes.
- 1298
- 01:12:44,759 --> 01:12:46,744
- Just like them over there?
- 1299
- 01:12:46,745 --> 01:12:48,729
- Son of a bitch!
- 1300
- 01:12:48,762 --> 01:12:50,765
- Just go join the rest
- of the Justice League.
- 1301
- 01:12:50,798 --> 01:12:52,117
- I don't have time
- for this!
- 1302
- 01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:53,435
- Hey, back up!
- 1303
- 01:12:53,467 --> 01:12:55,537
- You believe this guy?
- 1304
- 01:12:56,203 --> 01:12:58,739
- Take him down!
- 1305
- 01:12:58,773 --> 01:13:00,108
- I'm the Champion!
- 1306
- 01:13:00,109 --> 01:13:01,443
- Put his ass in the car!
- 1307
- 01:13:01,475 --> 01:13:03,144
- You need me!
- 1308
- 01:13:05,779 --> 01:13:08,617
- Idiots! You have no idea
- what you're doing!
- 1309
- 01:13:13,121 --> 01:13:15,757
- You think this'll work?
- 1310
- 01:13:15,789 --> 01:13:17,658
- I don't know
- if it will or won't.
- 1311
- 01:13:17,692 --> 01:13:19,661
- I do know this,
- 1312
- 01:13:19,694 --> 01:13:23,766
- pretty much nothing we can do at
- this point that will get us fired.
- 1313
- 01:13:26,900 --> 01:13:29,770
- Great, it's you.
- Come to gloat?
- 1314
- 01:13:29,804 --> 01:13:32,440
- No. Came to get you out.
- 1315
- 01:13:32,474 --> 01:13:34,209
- Out?
- 1316
- 01:13:34,210 --> 01:13:35,944
- I didn't believe in you.
- 1317
- 01:13:35,976 --> 01:13:38,113
- Not at first.
- But I've seen what you can do
- 1318
- 01:13:38,145 --> 01:13:40,648
- in that suit
- when y'all are focused.
- 1319
- 01:13:40,681 --> 01:13:43,652
- Things that I didn't even
- know were possible.
- 1320
- 01:13:43,685 --> 01:13:45,954
- You even did okay
- on some of those tests.
- 1321
- 01:13:45,987 --> 01:13:48,155
- We did awful on the tests.
- 1322
- 01:13:48,189 --> 01:13:51,793
- Yeah. But you also
- broke out of the space,
- 1323
- 01:13:51,826 --> 01:13:55,163
- and you took out four soldiers
- with alien technology.
- 1324
- 01:13:57,532 --> 01:14:01,670
- Quite frankly, that was some of the most
- competent incompetence I've ever seen.
- 1325
- 01:14:01,703 --> 01:14:05,106
- And I was raised
- by the military.
- 1326
- 01:14:05,139 --> 01:14:09,677
- You Lazer Team guys actually have
- more experience with this than I do.
- 1327
- 01:14:09,711 --> 01:14:11,847
- Even if the surgery did work,
- 1328
- 01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:16,518
- I'd say the right man is
- already wearing that Gauntlet.
- 1329
- 01:14:16,551 --> 01:14:18,820
- You think we actually
- have a shot at this?
- 1330
- 01:14:18,853 --> 01:14:22,524
- Hagan,
- you were born for this.
- 1331
- 01:14:22,556 --> 01:14:25,527
- Come on, gotta get you
- to the stadium.
- 1332
- 01:14:40,041 --> 01:14:43,645
- The Military has issued
- a statement assuring citizens
- 1333
- 01:14:43,677 --> 01:14:47,582
- that the situation
- is under control,
- 1334
- 01:14:47,614 --> 01:14:51,853
- but have refused to comment on the
- existence of any such Champions.
- 1335
- 01:14:51,886 --> 01:14:54,856
- As the timer ticks down,
- only one thing is certain:
- 1336
- 01:14:54,889 --> 01:14:58,859
- If these Champions are out there,
- we sure could use them now.
- 1337
- 01:14:58,893 --> 01:14:59,962
- Bill?
- 1338
- 01:15:05,265 --> 01:15:08,202
- How are we gonna get
- Zach out of there?
- 1339
- 01:15:11,605 --> 01:15:12,740
- Daddy!
- 1340
- 01:15:12,741 --> 01:15:13,875
- You're alive!
- 1341
- 01:15:13,908 --> 01:15:15,710
- You have all your parts!
- 1342
- 01:15:15,743 --> 01:15:18,647
- Herman, listen.
- We need you for this.
- 1343
- 01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:21,082
- I know you think you're not fast
- enough and I'm not strong enough.
- 1344
- 01:15:21,114 --> 01:15:23,184
- And I know we've had our differences,
- but I think it's time we...
- 1345
- 01:15:23,216 --> 01:15:24,268
- Okay.
- 1346
- 01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:25,319
- Okay?
- 1347
- 01:15:25,353 --> 01:15:27,055
- I'm in, man.
- 1348
- 01:15:27,056 --> 01:15:28,757
- You made that super easy.
- 1349
- 01:15:28,789 --> 01:15:30,591
- I had like this whole speech
- worked up and everything.
- 1350
- 01:15:30,625 --> 01:15:32,894
- Well, thankfully
- we don't have to listen to that.
- 1351
- 01:15:32,926 --> 01:15:34,111
- Woody?
- 1352
- 01:15:34,112 --> 01:15:35,296
- I'm in.
- 1353
- 01:15:35,329 --> 01:15:38,332
- All right, let's go before that nuclear
- warhead beats us to the fight.
- 1354
- 01:15:38,365 --> 01:15:40,902
- What? Warhead?
- 1355
- 01:15:40,935 --> 01:15:42,354
- Did I not tell you guys that?
- 1356
- 01:15:42,355 --> 01:15:43,772
- You didn't say anything!
- 1357
- 01:15:43,805 --> 01:15:45,907
- We got a lot of stuff
- to deal with tonight, man!
- 1358
- 01:15:45,939 --> 01:15:48,242
- - It's not my fault.
- - Why didn't you say something?
- 1359
- 01:15:48,275 --> 01:15:51,278
- I just did.
- Let's go.
- 1360
- 01:15:51,311 --> 01:15:53,914
- There's a nuke.
- Just telling you again.
- 1361
- 01:15:53,948 --> 01:15:56,885
- That's what they do to everything. It
- didn't work in "Independence Day".
- 1362
- 01:15:56,917 --> 01:15:59,920
- With less than 10 minutes on the
- countdown, the crowd outside the stadium
- 1363
- 01:15:59,953 --> 01:16:02,090
- is growing increasingly
- volatile, Janine,
- 1364
- 01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:04,625
- with absolutely
- no response from the military,
- 1365
- 01:16:04,658 --> 01:16:07,228
- other than to tell people
- to stay away.
- 1366
- 01:16:07,261 --> 01:16:12,300
- The entire world is wondering the same
- thing, where is the Champion of Earth?
- 1367
- 01:16:12,332 --> 01:16:15,936
- So, where is like the best place
- to get donuts around here?
- 1368
- 01:16:15,970 --> 01:16:20,609
- I've got a list, about four or
- 5 places that are just local.
- 1369
- 01:16:22,844 --> 01:16:28,248
- Hey, man, listen. I have a really
- powerful laser gun from space...
- 1370
- 01:16:28,282 --> 01:16:30,652
- that I sort of stole
- from the Army,
- 1371
- 01:16:30,685 --> 01:16:32,821
- and I tried to fight on my own,
- and I know it was dumb,
- 1372
- 01:16:32,854 --> 01:16:34,956
- but I think there might still be
- time to get it to someone who...
- 1373
- 01:16:34,988 --> 01:16:37,658
- Hey, kid, I'm not always
- gonna be around
- 1374
- 01:16:37,692 --> 01:16:39,661
- to bail you out.
- You realize that, right?
- 1375
- 01:16:39,694 --> 01:16:41,163
- Hagan?
- 1376
- 01:16:41,164 --> 01:16:42,631
- Yup.
- 1377
- 01:16:42,663 --> 01:16:44,965
- All right,
- everybody buckle up.
- 1378
- 01:16:44,998 --> 01:16:47,167
- He means it.
- 1379
- 01:16:47,201 --> 01:16:49,170
- Hey, hey!
- 1380
- 01:16:49,203 --> 01:16:52,140
- All units, we have a police car
- attempting a break-in at the stadium!
- 1381
- 01:16:52,172 --> 01:16:54,908
- Hold that. They're going
- away from the stadium!
- 1382
- 01:16:54,942 --> 01:16:56,311
- ...not going the right way!
- 1383
- 01:16:56,312 --> 01:16:57,679
- Is it right? Is this right?
- 1384
- 01:16:59,212 --> 01:17:00,714
- Humvee!
- 1385
- 01:17:00,715 --> 01:17:02,216
- Stop or we will open fire.
- 1386
- 01:17:02,250 --> 01:17:04,068
- I'm backing up!
- 1387
- 01:17:04,069 --> 01:17:05,886
- Back up! Back up! Back up!
- 1388
- 01:17:07,087 --> 01:17:08,606
- Watch out!
- 1389
- 01:17:08,607 --> 01:17:10,125
- How do I stop?
- 1390
- 01:17:12,193 --> 01:17:15,329
- I think they are heading
- for the stadium. But, backwards?
- 1391
- 01:17:15,363 --> 01:17:17,065
- - Look out!
- - No, no, no!
- 1392
- 01:17:18,765 --> 01:17:20,201
- Take 'em down! Take 'em down!
- 1393
- 01:17:23,270 --> 01:17:25,139
- Barbecue!
- 1394
- 01:17:31,045 --> 01:17:32,180
- Shit!
- 1395
- 01:17:32,181 --> 01:17:33,314
- Everybody hold on!
- 1396
- 01:17:33,346 --> 01:17:35,182
- Don't let them
- get to the stadium!
- 1397
- 01:17:39,353 --> 01:17:41,155
- Drive! Drive! Drive!
- 1398
- 01:17:41,156 --> 01:17:42,957
- Hold on!
- 1399
- 01:17:53,234 --> 01:17:58,206
- Absolutely astonishing, Janine. The
- crowd out here is going insane.
- 1400
- 01:17:58,238 --> 01:18:02,209
- A vehicle has entered the stadium.
- Could this be our Champion of Earth?
- 1401
- 01:18:02,243 --> 01:18:05,013
- Humanity's one chance
- for survival.
- 1402
- 01:18:07,114 --> 01:18:10,217
- They was shootin' at us!
- I am not driving with you again!
- 1403
- 01:18:10,251 --> 01:18:11,670
- I got us here, didn't I?
- 1404
- 01:18:11,671 --> 01:18:13,088
- Barely.
- 1405
- 01:18:17,358 --> 01:18:19,828
- Sir, the warheads
- are primed.
- 1406
- 01:18:19,860 --> 01:18:21,829
- Ready to launch
- on your mark.
- 1407
- 01:18:30,104 --> 01:18:32,240
- Hey, what
- are you doing here?
- 1408
- 01:18:32,273 --> 01:18:34,074
- Coaching.
- 1409
- 01:18:40,113 --> 01:18:43,518
- Greetings,
- O Champions of Earth.
- 1410
- 01:18:43,551 --> 01:18:44,736
- It's the recording!
- 1411
- 01:18:44,737 --> 01:18:45,920
- Antarian.
- 1412
- 01:18:45,953 --> 01:18:49,958
- Today you will battle
- for the fate of your planet.
- 1413
- 01:18:49,990 --> 01:18:53,293
- Prepare to meet your opponent.
- 1414
- 01:18:58,966 --> 01:19:00,869
- I'm scared.
- 1415
- 01:19:00,902 --> 01:19:04,105
- Don't be.
- You guys can win this.
- 1416
- 01:19:04,137 --> 01:19:06,975
- You have the Suit of Power. There's
- nothing else like it in the galaxy.
- 1417
- 01:19:07,007 --> 01:19:08,909
- All right.
- 1418
- 01:19:12,479 --> 01:19:16,817
- Presenting the Worg Champion.
- 1419
- 01:19:16,850 --> 01:19:18,385
- Wait a minute.
- 1420
- 01:19:24,292 --> 01:19:25,744
- Is he wearing a Suit of Power?
- 1421
- 01:19:25,745 --> 01:19:27,195
- Come on!
- 1422
- 01:19:27,228 --> 01:19:29,230
- Man, this fool trying
- to join the Boot Group!
- 1423
- 01:19:29,262 --> 01:19:32,300
- Nothing like it, my ass!
- This is bullshit!
- 1424
- 01:19:32,332 --> 01:19:34,469
- Where the hell
- did he get a Suit of Power?
- 1425
- 01:19:34,502 --> 01:19:38,006
- Same place we did,
- from them.
- 1426
- 01:19:38,038 --> 01:19:41,009
- Come on! Say that
- into my non-drunk ear,
- 1427
- 01:19:41,042 --> 01:19:43,578
- because it sounded
- like you said the Antarians!
- 1428
- 01:19:43,610 --> 01:19:47,015
- As you can see,
- your opponent has been given
- 1429
- 01:19:47,047 --> 01:19:49,317
- an identical Suit of Power.
- 1430
- 01:19:49,350 --> 01:19:53,421
- This will ensure a fair
- and most pleasing competition.
- 1431
- 01:19:53,453 --> 01:19:56,023
- Competition?
- What's he talking about?
- 1432
- 01:19:56,056 --> 01:19:58,025
- Guys, take a look at this.
- 1433
- 01:19:58,059 --> 01:20:01,162
- I've intercepted a file
- from the Antarian ship.
- 1434
- 01:20:01,194 --> 01:20:03,163
- Is that a March
- Madness bracket?
- 1435
- 01:20:03,197 --> 01:20:06,201
- Close. It's an intergalactic
- gladiatorial circuit,
- 1436
- 01:20:06,234 --> 01:20:09,204
- wherein the only remuneration is
- provincial planetary salvation.
- 1437
- 01:20:09,237 --> 01:20:10,555
- What the hell does that mean?
- 1438
- 01:20:10,556 --> 01:20:11,873
- It means...
- 1439
- 01:20:11,905 --> 01:20:15,275
- that this war we're about
- to fight isn't a war.
- 1440
- 01:20:15,309 --> 01:20:17,212
- It's a goddamn
- sporting match!
- 1441
- 01:20:17,244 --> 01:20:19,413
- But instead of the winners
- getting trophies,
- 1442
- 01:20:19,447 --> 01:20:21,416
- the losers get
- their planet destroyed.
- 1443
- 01:20:21,448 --> 01:20:23,884
- What a bunch of assholes!
- 1444
- 01:20:23,917 --> 01:20:25,519
- The Earth is never
- gonna be safe.
- 1445
- 01:20:25,552 --> 01:20:27,521
- So, what are we
- supposed to do now?
- 1446
- 01:20:27,555 --> 01:20:30,525
- Long term? Find a way
- to break the circuit.
- 1447
- 01:20:30,557 --> 01:20:32,043
- Short term...
- 1448
- 01:20:32,044 --> 01:20:33,528
- Don't lose.
- 1449
- 01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:34,828
- We're screwed.
- 1450
- 01:20:34,829 --> 01:20:36,096
- This is impossible.
- 1451
- 01:20:36,130 --> 01:20:39,900
- No, it's not.
- Don't say that.
- 1452
- 01:20:39,934 --> 01:20:41,603
- You guys can do this.
- 1453
- 01:20:41,636 --> 01:20:44,906
- Get out there and win one
- for Earth, okay?
- 1454
- 01:20:44,939 --> 01:20:48,243
- Great pep talk, Coach.
- Thanks.
- 1455
- 01:21:00,121 --> 01:21:02,123
- We have to fire the nuke.
- 1456
- 01:21:02,155 --> 01:21:04,391
- General, we're still
- evacuating thousands of people
- 1457
- 01:21:04,425 --> 01:21:06,226
- from the blast radius.
- 1458
- 01:21:06,260 --> 01:21:08,396
- And it didn't work in
- "Independence Day", sir.
- 1459
- 01:21:08,429 --> 01:21:10,931
- Let's just see
- what they can do.
- 1460
- 01:21:20,207 --> 01:21:21,576
- I wonder what he said.
- 1461
- 01:21:21,577 --> 01:21:22,944
- It's a lower Worgon dialect.
- 1462
- 01:21:22,976 --> 01:21:26,113
- But I think he said he was gonna
- slowly kill us one by one,
- 1463
- 01:21:26,146 --> 01:21:28,416
- forcing us each to eat
- the remains of the last,
- 1464
- 01:21:28,448 --> 01:21:31,585
- before himself eating
- what was left.
- 1465
- 01:21:31,618 --> 01:21:33,353
- That's nasty.
- 1466
- 01:21:37,291 --> 01:21:40,994
- Shit.
- 1467
- 01:21:41,028 --> 01:21:43,030
- This is it! Get ready!
- 1468
- 01:21:44,431 --> 01:21:46,434
- Come on, bitch!
- Hell, yeah.
- 1469
- 01:21:46,466 --> 01:21:48,536
- Guys, I just realized,
- I don't have a weapon!
- 1470
- 01:21:48,569 --> 01:21:50,672
- My balls just went numb.
- 1471
- 01:21:50,704 --> 01:21:52,908
- Lazer Team...
- 1472
- 01:21:54,475 --> 01:21:56,044
- Game on!
- 1473
- 01:21:59,046 --> 01:22:02,083
- Oohhh!
- 1474
- 01:22:02,115 --> 01:22:04,118
- Oohhh!
- 1475
- 01:22:04,150 --> 01:22:06,119
- Well, this is going splendid!
- 1476
- 01:22:06,153 --> 01:22:08,088
- Is it too late
- to put money on the Worg?
- 1477
- 01:22:12,393 --> 01:22:14,062
- Can't get past his shield!
- 1478
- 01:22:14,063 --> 01:22:15,730
- Do something!
- 1479
- 01:22:15,762 --> 01:22:17,882
- Woody, target the ground!
- 1480
- 01:22:17,883 --> 01:22:20,001
- Got it!
- 1481
- 01:22:20,033 --> 01:22:22,202
- Zach, charge a big one!
- 1482
- 01:22:24,471 --> 01:22:27,341
- Now, Zach!
- 1483
- 01:22:32,613 --> 01:22:33,915
- Yes!
- 1484
- 01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:35,216
- Don't let up! Hit him again!
- 1485
- 01:22:37,685 --> 01:22:39,988
- Coming back!
- 1486
- 01:22:41,689 --> 01:22:43,725
- Two can play this game!
- 1487
- 01:22:43,757 --> 01:22:45,376
- Technically,
- it's four of us!
- 1488
- 01:22:45,377 --> 01:22:46,994
- Get outta here.
- 1489
- 01:22:59,105 --> 01:23:01,608
- Hold on, Hagan. I'm gonna
- push the shield again.
- 1490
- 01:23:02,676 --> 01:23:05,547
- Aahhh!
- 1491
- 01:23:16,556 --> 01:23:19,092
- Yes! Yeah!
- 1492
- 01:23:19,126 --> 01:23:22,195
- Yes!
- 1493
- 01:23:22,229 --> 01:23:25,066
- That's what you get
- for messing with Lazer Team!
- 1494
- 01:23:26,734 --> 01:23:30,405
- No, no, no! He's just cloaked!
- Don't let him get...!
- 1495
- 01:23:33,573 --> 01:23:35,308
- Oohhh!
- 1496
- 01:23:40,113 --> 01:23:42,282
- Come on, sit still!
- 1497
- 01:23:45,519 --> 01:23:46,788
- Zach!
- 1498
- 01:24:00,701 --> 01:24:03,371
- Yeah! That's right!
- 1499
- 01:24:07,608 --> 01:24:10,110
- Target locked.
- But I'm the target!
- 1500
- 01:24:10,144 --> 01:24:13,114
- Hey! You crispy-looking
- space raisin!
- 1501
- 01:24:13,146 --> 01:24:15,449
- Why don't you try
- the Texas Tornado!
- 1502
- 01:24:28,162 --> 01:24:31,166
- All right, now's our chance.
- Hit him!
- 1503
- 01:24:43,543 --> 01:24:47,347
- Herman!
- 1504
- 01:24:47,381 --> 01:24:49,317
- Woody!
- The Dark Matter Ray!
- 1505
- 01:24:49,350 --> 01:24:51,319
- It's the only way
- to put him down for sure.
- 1506
- 01:24:51,351 --> 01:24:53,822
- - The dark what?
- - You never taught us that one!
- 1507
- 01:24:57,323 --> 01:24:58,792
- Aahhh!
- 1508
- 01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:02,831
- Get back up!
- Get on your feet!
- 1509
- 01:25:11,704 --> 01:25:13,707
- You gotta fight!
- 1510
- 01:25:33,226 --> 01:25:35,762
- Why don't you pick on someone
- your own size!
- 1511
- 01:25:40,768 --> 01:25:42,787
- Adam, what are you doing?
- 1512
- 01:25:42,788 --> 01:25:44,805
- I'm buying you time!
- 1513
- 01:25:44,837 --> 01:25:46,840
- Get ready to use
- the Dark Matter Cannon!
- 1514
- 01:25:47,875 --> 01:25:49,444
- We don't know how!
- 1515
- 01:25:50,978 --> 01:25:52,480
- No, but it does!
- 1516
- 01:26:00,253 --> 01:26:02,856
- Adam, don't!
- 1517
- 01:26:02,890 --> 01:26:05,827
- Come on, you want this planet,
- you gotta go through me first!
- 1518
- 01:26:22,443 --> 01:26:26,347
- Adam, you're the one who's
- supposed to save the planet!
- 1519
- 01:26:29,250 --> 01:26:31,185
- I think I just did.
- 1520
- 01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:38,193
- No!
- 1521
- 01:26:45,599 --> 01:26:48,302
- It's time to end this.
- 1522
- 01:27:03,617 --> 01:27:05,619
- Hey, asshole!
- 1523
- 01:27:08,756 --> 01:27:12,293
- Well, boys, I guess
- he wants a fight.
- 1524
- 01:27:12,326 --> 01:27:14,261
- He came
- to the right planet.
- 1525
- 01:27:23,604 --> 01:27:25,640
- I think he's about to fire
- the Dark Matter Ray again.
- 1526
- 01:27:25,672 --> 01:27:27,774
- Well, then we'll fire ours.
- Woody, get it ready.
- 1527
- 01:27:27,807 --> 01:27:29,844
- With the suit separated
- like this, it could kill us.
- 1528
- 01:27:29,877 --> 01:27:31,579
- What's option B?
- 1529
- 01:27:31,580 --> 01:27:33,281
- He'll kill us.
- 1530
- 01:27:33,314 --> 01:27:35,516
- Yeah, we'll go with option A.
- 1531
- 01:27:37,350 --> 01:27:39,069
- What do we do?
- 1532
- 01:27:39,070 --> 01:27:40,787
- We gotta look like him.
- 1533
- 01:27:40,820 --> 01:27:45,492
- All right, we're getting
- freakin' somewhere!
- 1534
- 01:27:45,525 --> 01:27:48,996
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Hey, charge it up!
- 1535
- 01:27:49,029 --> 01:27:50,865
- No, what are you doing?
- 1536
- 01:27:52,832 --> 01:27:54,634
- We can't keep this up!
- 1537
- 01:27:54,667 --> 01:27:56,804
- The separate pieces
- are too unstable!
- 1538
- 01:27:56,837 --> 01:28:00,675
- Hold on, everybody!
- Just hold on!
- 1539
- 01:28:00,707 --> 01:28:02,876
- You cannot fire the ray!
- This is not permitted!
- 1540
- 01:28:08,881 --> 01:28:11,451
- Aahhh!
- 1541
- 01:28:11,484 --> 01:28:12,953
- Hold on!
- 1542
- 01:28:18,759 --> 01:28:20,528
- - No!
- - Now!
- 1543
- 01:28:29,069 --> 01:28:31,072
- Aahhh!
- 1544
- 01:28:32,405 --> 01:28:34,841
- We're outside the force field!
- 1545
- 01:29:03,904 --> 01:29:04,906
- Yeah!
- 1546
- 01:29:04,907 --> 01:29:05,907
- We did it!
- 1547
- 01:29:08,509 --> 01:29:10,610
- Yes!
- 1548
- 01:29:10,644 --> 01:29:13,448
- God bless America.
- 1549
- 01:29:18,752 --> 01:29:20,888
- Celebrations are breaking out
- across the globe...
- 1550
- 01:29:20,921 --> 01:29:23,858
- as the alien mothership
- appears to have vanished.
- 1551
- 01:29:23,890 --> 01:29:27,161
- No confirmation yet as to
- whether the ship was destroyed,
- 1552
- 01:29:27,194 --> 01:29:30,064
- but right now I know everyone's
- thoughts and prayers
- 1553
- 01:29:30,096 --> 01:29:33,867
- are with those four men
- known as Lazer Team.
- 1554
- 01:29:33,900 --> 01:29:36,286
- Yeah!
- 1555
- 01:29:36,287 --> 01:29:38,671
- Nice shooting, team! Yeah!
- 1556
- 01:29:38,704 --> 01:29:40,640
- That bitch is toast!
- 1557
- 01:29:40,641 --> 01:29:42,576
- Yeah!
- 1558
- 01:29:47,480 --> 01:29:49,449
- What do we do now?
- 1559
- 01:29:49,483 --> 01:29:51,452
- I've no idea.
- 1560
- 01:29:51,484 --> 01:29:53,186
- I fancy some fish and
- chips, to be honest.
- 1561
- 01:29:53,220 --> 01:29:55,956
- Enough with the British
- thing, Woody.
- 1562
- 01:29:55,988 --> 01:29:58,759
- I can't even eat, anyway. This
- stupid thing doesn't even come off.
- 1563
- 01:29:58,792 --> 01:30:00,711
- Gonna starve to death.
- 1564
- 01:30:00,712 --> 01:30:02,630
- I don't wanna go.
- 1565
- 01:30:02,662 --> 01:30:04,498
- All right.
- 1566
- 01:30:08,668 --> 01:30:11,471
- And here they are,
- the Champions.
- 1567
- 01:30:11,505 --> 01:30:13,574
- The crowd is going wild.
- 1568
- 01:30:13,606 --> 01:30:15,943
- Janine, they're cheering
- for the one with the laser.
- 1569
- 01:30:15,975 --> 01:30:18,645
- Also the other three.
- It's the four of them
- 1570
- 01:30:18,679 --> 01:30:21,949
- in matching suits,
- and the crowd just loves it.
- 1571
- 01:30:21,981 --> 01:30:23,917
- Just-just look at them.
- 1572
- 01:30:23,951 --> 01:30:27,121
- Excuse me. The whole world
- wants to know, who are you guys?
- 1573
- 01:30:27,154 --> 01:30:30,825
- We're the guys who just saved
- the planet. We're Lazer Team.
- 1574
- 01:30:32,826 --> 01:30:35,962
- Sorry, Herman. Looks like
- I missed another block.
- 1575
- 01:30:35,996 --> 01:30:39,800
- But the team won, Hagan.
- That's all that matters.
- 1576
- 01:30:39,832 --> 01:30:42,101
- You know, I think
- I could fix that boot, Herman.
- 1577
- 01:30:42,135 --> 01:30:44,204
- I've also been working
- on some potential upgrades.
- 1578
- 01:30:44,238 --> 01:30:46,974
- Woody, how about we figure
- out what we have first?
- 1579
- 01:30:47,006 --> 01:30:48,091
- Secure the perimeter!
- 1580
- 01:30:48,092 --> 01:30:49,175
- Great.
- 1581
- 01:30:49,208 --> 01:30:52,246
- Sir, can we get a statement?
- Are these men under arrest?
- 1582
- 01:30:52,279 --> 01:30:55,149
- No, of course not.
- I know to many of you
- 1583
- 01:30:55,181 --> 01:30:58,519
- they didn't seem like the
- heroes you might expect,
- 1584
- 01:30:58,551 --> 01:31:01,521
- but I personally hand-picked
- each member of the Lazer Team.
- 1585
- 01:31:01,555 --> 01:31:04,057
- I couldn't be prouder
- of their achievements.
- 1586
- 01:31:04,091 --> 01:31:05,593
- That's bullshit.
- 1587
- 01:31:05,626 --> 01:31:08,162
- Now, we may
- have won the battle,
- 1588
- 01:31:08,194 --> 01:31:10,530
- but the war
- is far from over.
- 1589
- 01:31:10,564 --> 01:31:13,734
- Starting today, we're
- taking the fight to them.
- 1590
- 01:31:13,766 --> 01:31:17,136
- I have asked the President
- to immediately green-light
- 1591
- 01:31:17,170 --> 01:31:18,439
- Project Pegasus.
- 1592
- 01:31:18,440 --> 01:31:19,707
- Yes!
- 1593
- 01:31:19,739 --> 01:31:21,942
- Queen's beaver!
- 1594
- 01:31:21,975 --> 01:31:23,978
- Ladies and gentlemen,
- Lazer Team
- 1595
- 01:31:25,212 --> 01:31:27,215
- is going to space.
- 1596
- 01:31:29,048 --> 01:31:30,518
- What the f...!
- 1597
- 01:31:42,061 --> 01:31:44,564
- A champion was chosen
- for the battle
- 1598
- 01:31:44,597 --> 01:31:46,600
- He was to prepare
- with the Suit of Power
- 1599
- 01:31:49,069 --> 01:31:51,205
- But like a snake
- without a rattle
- 1600
- 01:31:51,238 --> 01:31:55,876
- We weren't there
- but we would not cower
- 1601
- 01:31:55,908 --> 01:31:58,211
- They thought they'd
- slaughter us like cattle
- 1602
- 01:31:58,244 --> 01:32:02,750
- They weren't prepared
- for our finest hour
- 1603
- 01:32:02,783 --> 01:32:05,219
- They weren't prepared
- for the Lazer Team
- 1604
- 01:32:05,252 --> 01:32:07,588
- It's not a dream
- 1605
- 01:32:07,621 --> 01:32:10,757
- The most important battle
- that the planet's seen
- 1606
- 01:32:10,791 --> 01:32:14,228
- It's the Lazer Team
- more than they seem
- 1607
- 01:32:14,261 --> 01:32:18,766
- Not just a four-man alien
- kicking ass machine
- 1608
- 01:32:18,798 --> 01:32:22,603
- I don't think anyone
- expected them
- 1609
- 01:32:22,636 --> 01:32:25,606
- To save the day
- for you and me
- 1610
- 01:32:25,639 --> 01:32:29,076
- I don't think anyone
- expected them
- 1611
- 01:32:29,109 --> 01:32:35,115
- to spell "laser" with a Z
- 1612
- 01:32:47,828 --> 01:32:51,632
- It's the Lazer Team
- It's not a dream
- 1613
- 01:32:51,664 --> 01:32:54,935
- The most important battle
- that the planet's seen
- 1614
- 01:32:54,967 --> 01:32:58,639
- It's the Lazer Team
- More than they seem
- 1615
- 01:32:58,671 --> 01:33:02,976
- Not just a four-man alien
- kicking ass machine
- 1616
- 01:33:16,689 --> 01:33:19,659
- The aliens came
- and they said to me
- 1617
- 01:33:19,693 --> 01:33:22,663
- You're gonna kick ass
- in this galaxy
- 1618
- 01:33:22,695 --> 01:33:25,666
- They gave me the tools
- that I'd need to win
- 1619
- 01:33:25,698 --> 01:33:29,336
- So listen to our song
- and let the tale begin
- 1620
- 01:33:40,180 --> 01:33:42,983
- A ragin' battle
- will be heading your way
- 1621
- 01:33:43,015 --> 01:33:45,985
- It's on you to save your
- planet's what the aliens say
- 1622
- 01:33:46,019 --> 01:33:48,989
- They gave me the suit and
- then returned to the sky
- 1623
- 01:33:49,021 --> 01:33:51,859
- Said, you really gotta win
- or everyone's gonna die
- 1624
- 01:33:51,891 --> 01:33:54,994
- I got one job to do
- 1625
- 01:33:55,028 --> 01:33:57,698
- Save the world
- Save the world
- 1626
- 01:33:57,730 --> 01:34:00,333
- I don't feel so cool
- 1627
- 01:34:00,367 --> 01:34:03,704
- And I will get the girl
- and bask in fame
- 1628
- 01:34:03,737 --> 01:34:07,007
- And everyone
- will know the name
- 1629
- 01:34:07,039 --> 01:34:09,009
- Lazer Team
- 1630
- 01:34:09,042 --> 01:34:12,713
- I'm gonna drop your punk ass
- with a laser beam
- 1631
- 01:34:12,746 --> 01:34:15,349
- Let it stream
- 1632
- 01:34:15,381 --> 01:34:19,753
- No hero, I agree,
- but I'm here to save you now
- 1633
- 01:34:30,229 --> 01:34:33,032
- Safety helmets
- are for kids on bikes
- 1634
- 01:34:33,065 --> 01:34:36,036
- Bein' brainy's cool but I'm
- the one who brings 'em an axe
- 1635
- 01:34:36,069 --> 01:34:38,906
- You sure can't blog
- and your boots can't run
- 1636
- 01:34:38,939 --> 01:34:42,042
- But I'm the one who's gonna
- blow it up 'cause I got the gun
- 1637
- 01:34:42,074 --> 01:34:44,744
- I got one job to do
- 1638
- 01:34:44,778 --> 01:34:47,381
- Save the world
- Save the world
- 1639
- 01:34:47,413 --> 01:34:50,751
- I don't feel so cool
- 1640
- 01:34:50,783 --> 01:34:53,753
- And we know that there's
- no "I" in team
- 1641
- 01:34:53,787 --> 01:34:56,923
- But the Z in Lazer
- must be real
- 1642
- 01:34:56,957 --> 01:34:58,926
- Lazer Team
- 1643
- 01:34:58,958 --> 01:35:02,929
- I'm gonna drop your punk ass
- with a laser beam
- 1644
- 01:35:02,962 --> 01:35:05,064
- Let it stream
- 1645
- 01:35:05,097 --> 01:35:09,936
- No hero, I agree,
- but I'm here to save you now
- 1646
- 01:35:09,970 --> 01:35:14,240
- Tonight, before
- the morning light shines
- 1647
- 01:35:14,274 --> 01:35:17,411
- Tonight
- Tonight
- 1648
- 01:35:17,444 --> 01:35:20,247
- I'll beat the Worg
- and save your life
- 1649
- 01:35:20,279 --> 01:35:23,250
- And it's not that I don't
- want to bang you
- 1650
- 01:35:23,283 --> 01:35:26,086
- I absolutely do
- 1651
- 01:35:26,118 --> 01:35:29,255
- But I also like you
- I'm gonna try to
- 1652
- 01:35:29,288 --> 01:35:34,127
- Be a stud that's true
- 1653
- 01:35:45,471 --> 01:35:47,440
- Lazer Team
- 1654
- 01:35:47,474 --> 01:35:51,278
- I'm gonna drop your punk ass
- with a laser beam
- 1655
- 01:35:51,310 --> 01:35:53,980
- Let it stream
- 1656
- 01:35:54,014 --> 01:35:59,153
- No hero, I agree, but I'm
- here to save you now
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