A word about twitch and speedrun events

Ok I'm not a person good with words but I want to write this to show that I truely care about people who are close to me. I feel as though I have not shown it and want to change it.

So I've been to every major speed running event in Australia since ASM 2015. The first one was special because I got to meet 2 particular people who have inspired and encouraged me since I met them. Without them I wouldnt be pursuing streaming and would be completely differently than who I am today.

At this event was the first time I ran in a marathon. I did terrible but it helped work on my commentary and confidence because back the new not only was I socially awkward, I also dressed like a slob and weighed a lot more than I do now. This event turned my life around because it was a wake up call. I changed everything about myself and started actually taking care. I lost weight (132 > 95 now) I bought decent clothes, and worked on being more social. This leads into 2016

2016 was probably that I worked on my social side a lot more. I came back feeling way more confident, positive, and generally happy. This was the event I also first met a guy from Sydney who I would consider one of my closest friends today. There were so many more people than the previous year, but when I left I was overwhelmed by sadness, and when I got back I fell into a state of depression. Knowing I couldn't seen the people I care about hurt a lot. One of my biggest fears in life Ian losing people I hold really close to me. I felt like this happened when ASM2016 was over. I lost touch with a lot of them, I stopped going into discord calls, I barely went into streams, I barely contacted them at all. I stopped responding to private messages because I felt disconnected. I reached out to one friend who I mentioned before and we were talking, his birthday was coming up soon and I had lots of spare money. So I planned a weekend trip to Sydney to see him and had a great time. It gave me that feel that we definitely will see each other again, and everyone else.

PAX 2016 snuck up on me and I booked a last minute hotel to go. That was a fantastic decision. I met an amazing guy from Perth who i would now consider my best friend. I also met a lot of the Australian twitch streamers and had just a general fantastic time. First pax was spectacular. I felt refreshed, and ready to go to Adelaide the next year.

Adelaide this year was incredible. I was able to meet one of my friends for the first time, who I'd been friends with since I started twitch, and it was such a big turnout. This event was also incredible because I did meet my amazing girlfriend while I was stupidly drunk. This event tested friendships for reasons I won't go into, but it made them so much stronger. I hated saying bye to everyone here. This was by far the most difficult year to leave everyone.

Luckily pax was right around the corner and apart from some personal things that happened it was really full on. I had a lot of fun and didn't get enough time to do everything I wanted too. I regret not being able to spend more time without everyone and I'm particular people who wanted to spend time with me. I was always busy and I apologise for that. (Also I got the flu on the Monday so that was also shit)

I felt the need to type all this out. I show little to no emotion other than happyness because I only want people to be happy as well. I love and adore all my friends to death. If I could have them here all the time I would. Not only would I not Ben streaming if I didn't go to these events, I wouldn't be able to go I felt I wasn't streaming. The support my community gives is phenomenal and I would not be anywhere near the person I am now.

I owe my life to these events, twitch and people who support me and keep me afloat. I don't think all about this stuff much because it sounds sappy as fuck, but i genuinely owe everything to the people who support me. You have changed my life in one way or the other, even the smallest things have had the biggest impact. You've supported me more than my own family. That means something to me

I will not stop streaming. I love my channel and my community.