As I expressed before my shift yesterday
my life is slowly but surely spiraling out of control, hey
I really feel as though I should spare you guys from this
and also the brand at large, this is hit or miss
as I'm unsure where it's headed
but I don't think I'll have availability, maybe not even a bed
Historically before, during and after my birthday
I'm in the hospital and all y'all passed my probation if I stop publishing the crazy but today
I released my first EP for my net-new label
and y'all should give it a listen it's a trap staple
but I'm thinking it's triggering and maybe a bit explicit
so we should just go our own ways without a fit
The environment generally is not conducive to my mental health
guys, and the stress isn't worth the wealth
That said, this is a really bad time to do this
and I know I should have a month's notice
but I think I'll end up doing more damage than helping, even if not through malice
Ultimately, I don't believe I'm capable of working
psychiatrist's notes in '12 or '13 echoing
but the mania that constitutes about 1/4 my diagnoses leads me to do awful well and then just crash and burn
This is the crash, I've dozens times seen heard and felt and never learn
these disabilities the kind you can't see but indeed
it's like a truck smashes my side leaving me on the side of the street with bleeds
Now I avoid confrontation and I'm symptomatically averse to communication
so I might just skip the conversation
see if I still get my ethereum
and ditch y'all like a ghost. It's failed expectations
that hurt me the most. Groomed to be a doctor
fixated on being a lawyer
tried school maybe 7 times post-secondary
and that shit may or may not allegedly
have been loans scams as my income primary
but hey
I'm actually just off my meds and I am the spiral
even though I could have been integral
instead I just sit here and crumble
Lay here wondering how to sustain self, guess it's back to poor & humble
Anywho it's best we estrange
and I descend into more strange
and weird little habits
that keep me ever so Mad Hatter, also sortof the rabbit
Someone sang once I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
and hey Marylin that's cool but I am the drugs. heehee
Hohoho and a bucket full of rum
guess I'll just become a bum
Or maybe even hobo with a shotgun
it'd be oodles of fun.