Patrick

Everything Wrong With...
Lutfi's Fanciful Flannelograph
(Spoilers... let's learn about St. Patrick, okay)
-Nice board, but where did you assemble that? There's no way that sockpuppet theater can be setup like that. Or, should I say how are you using that pulley from down under?
-"Oof!" Okay, who dropped that? Did you do that?
-Actually Lutfi, I think that's a three leaf clover and not you know, a four leaf clover!
-"Baby from the stork" cliche.
-Whoa, that kid's quite strong enough to kick the crib.
-(boy bounces soccer balls on his head) This is not how soccer balls work.
-"A normal boy with a strange name" And he doesn't have parents.
-"And he was kidnapped by pirates" Because clearly he doesn't have something called parents.
-(throws coin in water) A waste of a quarter.
-"like Star Trek" Trademarks.
-Oh, so the Patrick guy can somehow still talk to you, the narrator.
-"painting with all the colors of the wind" This is not how you splat paint.
-Also, why is the paint bouncing off onto his face?!
-"p-iiig" I think he already learnt that word already, so why waste his time doing it again?
-"praying and talking to God" Why didn't you realize that in the first place?
-Feeding the pigs, pigs feeding kid back.
-Let's just assume that he prays like 10 times an hour, depending on his time zone.
-So druid-guy, are you going to catch that "Pigboy"? No? Okay.
-200 miles before reaching the sea. Patrick is starved to death.
-Convenient seaport is convenient.
-I wonder why you guys went to France for? Some important meeting? But we'll never see that again.
-Oh pigs, you never seen to give up on Patrick.
-Everyone's in bad condition but the captain is like "deal with it"
-Oh come on! I wanted to hear his prayer!
-Let me guess, they're going to- (roasts pig for the night) Yep.
-"Don't thank me Captain, thank God" You roasted the pigs, get it right!
-So what? What was the point of the trip to France? So you just walked for nothing and then you decided to go home? Man, that trip was almost pointless, but it was worth it.
-"come back and tell them about God" Exposition.
-"tell the people about God." Oh come on! I wanted to hear what Patrick was telling them!
-I thought you said metaphor, but now it is a simile?
-"like a twig?" Oh yeah! The druidguy! Remember the druid? That ignored when Patrick ran off? Man, that guy never seems to age.

Sentence: Pirate raids