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- 0
- 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
- INDOXXI
- Support dengan like & share :)
- 1
- 00:00:41,487 --> 00:00:46,492
- Subtitles by explosiveskull
- Resync by GoldenBeard
- 2
- 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,099
- It's okay.
- 3
- 00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:51,869
- You're gonna love it.
- 4
- 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,138
- Happy first day of school.
- 5
- 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,005
- Bye, sweetie.
- 6
- 00:00:58,007 --> 00:01:00,843
- - Hi!
- - Hi.
- 7
- 00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:02,778
- Hey. I'm Sam.
- 8
- 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,446
- Hi. I'm Julie.
- 9
- 00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:07,982
- - Bye.
- - Bye, Mom.
- 10
- 00:01:09,886 --> 00:01:11,387
- I'm Hunter.
- 11
- 00:01:11,389 --> 00:01:12,755
- Sam's mine right there.
- 12
- 00:01:12,757 --> 00:01:14,056
- The one with the glasses.
- 13
- 00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:15,423
- I'm Lisa.
- 14
- 00:01:15,425 --> 00:01:17,693
- That's my Julie.
- 15
- 00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:19,464
- I'm Mitchell.
- 16
- 00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:22,697
- Kayla's hero.
- 17
- 00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:24,500
- Oh, are you okay?
- 18
- 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,033
- - Yeah, yeah.
- - You crying?
- 19
- 00:01:26,035 --> 00:01:28,102
- No, man, it's a...
- big day, that's all.
- 20
- 00:01:28,104 --> 00:01:29,872
- - Yeah.
- - You know, can I have a tissue, please?
- 21
- 00:01:29,874 --> 00:01:30,739
- - Yeah, yeah.
- - Thank you.
- 22
- 00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:32,473
- - It's a big day for all of us.
- - Yeah.
- 23
- 00:01:32,475 --> 00:01:33,608
- Thanks.
- 24
- 00:01:35,746 --> 00:01:36,711
- Come on, let's go!
- 25
- 00:01:36,713 --> 00:01:38,080
- I think our daughters
- are friends.
- 26
- 00:01:38,082 --> 00:01:39,515
- - I'm so excited!
- - Me, too.
- 27
- 00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,983
- And I think that means
- we're friends.
- 28
- 00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:47,155
- Should we go get a drink?
- 29
- 00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:48,524
- You okay?
- 30
- 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:49,824
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah.
- 31
- 00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:51,860
- - Yeah.
- - Do you guys want to go get a drink?
- 32
- 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,929
- Just... Ah, they made it.
- 33
- 00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:55,764
- You guys want to go grab
- a drink real quick?
- 34
- 00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,866
- Is he asking us if we want
- to go grab a drink?
- 35
- 00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,435
- I'm really hoping it's coffee.
- 36
- 00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:11,079
- - Aah! That's so...
- - Shut the fuck up.
- 37
- 00:02:13,117 --> 00:02:15,150
- Happy Halloween!
- 38
- 00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:18,220
- I can see Russia from my house.
- 39
- 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,888
- - Red Vines!
- - Red Vines!
- 40
- 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,590
- Red Vines!
- 41
- 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,029
- That's right!
- 42
- 00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:32,533
- Hey, hey, Hunter, get out, man.
- 43
- 00:02:34,138 --> 00:02:36,204
- Put your seat belts on!
- 44
- 00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:37,573
- Oh, my God!
- 45
- 00:02:40,944 --> 00:02:42,678
- - Surprise!
- - Surprise!
- 46
- 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,579
- No way! Thank you, Mom!
- 47
- 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,181
- Thank you so much!
- 48
- 00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:49,119
- Be careful.
- 49
- 00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:17,812
- Absolutely gorgeous out.
- 50
- 00:03:17,814 --> 00:03:19,281
- You're probably gonna miss
- these mornings
- 51
- 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,916
- that we spend together, right?
- 52
- 00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:23,217
- Stop.
- You're gonna make me cry.
- 53
- 00:03:23,219 --> 00:03:25,287
- And I don't want to cry,
- because it's prom night.
- 54
- 00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,121
- And it's supposed to be,
- like, the most magical night
- 55
- 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,289
- of your life, and, you know,
- 56
- 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,893
- I'm just so anxious about it.
- 57
- 00:03:30,895 --> 00:03:34,729
- Well, call me
- if you feel anxious.
- 58
- 00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,999
- Or maybe FaceTime me,
- if it wasn't too loud.
- 59
- 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,033
- I mean, if it was too loud,
- you could just...
- 60
- 00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,568
- we could wave or whatever.
- 61
- 00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:42,069
- That'd be funny.
- 62
- 00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:44,740
- And then I can do...
- You know what I was thinking?
- 63
- 00:03:44,742 --> 00:03:46,942
- You should send me photos
- throughout the night.
- 64
- 00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:49,210
- Like, not...
- not, like, all night long,
- 65
- 00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:51,979
- but if you could do it
- like every 30 minutes or so,
- 66
- 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,782
- then I can put together
- one of those iBooks.
- 67
- 00:03:54,784 --> 00:03:55,883
- - That would be so fun.
- - Yeah.
- 68
- 00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:57,119
- That would be a really...
- 69
- 00:03:57,121 --> 00:03:58,920
- I don't think
- you would regret that.
- 70
- 00:04:00,257 --> 00:04:02,156
- - Mom?
- - Mm-hmm?
- 71
- 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:05,327
- Are you gonna be okay
- when I go to college?
- 72
- 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,894
- Who, me?
- 73
- 00:04:06,896 --> 00:04:07,895
- Yeah.
- 74
- 00:04:07,897 --> 00:04:09,230
- Me?
- 75
- 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,334
- What?
- 76
- 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,801
- Pl-Please.
- 77
- 00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:16,071
- Don't even get me...
- 78
- 00:04:16,073 --> 00:04:18,039
- Don't even...
- 79
- 00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,277
- Please.
- 80
- 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,614
- Okay, bye, Mom!
- 81
- 00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:27,181
- - Okay, bye.
- - I love you.
- 82
- 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,886
- Okay, I love you.
- 83
- 00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:37,359
- Oh, good, you did the laundry.
- 84
- 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,628
- Yeah, and got a totally sleepy,
- happy baby.
- 85
- 00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,631
- Full-blown Renaissance man.
- 86
- 00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:44,232
- - Oh.
- - Believe it.
- 87
- 00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:45,833
- It's a good thing
- she's asleep, too.
- 88
- 00:04:45,835 --> 00:04:47,068
- I was going through
- the laundry.
- 89
- 00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,903
- - Uh-huh.
- - Found these new thongs.
- 90
- 00:04:48,905 --> 00:04:51,707
- You know what I'm gonna do
- with these?
- 91
- 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,975
- Paging Dr. Muff Diver.
- Dr. Muff Diver, you're needed
- 92
- 00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,376
- in the O.R. immediately.
- 93
- 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,044
- Emergency surgery.
- Later on tonight,
- 94
- 00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,614
- I'm tearing these off
- with my teeth
- 95
- 00:04:58,616 --> 00:04:59,814
- like an old-school
- cartoon billy goat.
- 96
- 00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:01,148
- Honey.
- 97
- 00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,619
- Mitchell.
- 98
- 00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:06,388
- Those are your daughter's.
- 99
- 00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:10,292
- No way. Kayla wears cleats
- and Bears jerseys,
- 100
- 00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,393
- not some dirty
- stripper underwear.
- 101
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,361
- You thought they were mine.
- 102
- 00:05:12,363 --> 00:05:14,261
- What, am I giving her allowance
- in singles?
- 103
- 00:05:14,263 --> 00:05:15,830
- Go tell her
- she can't wear these.
- 104
- 00:05:15,832 --> 00:05:17,299
- Tell her
- they'll make her sterile,
- 105
- 00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:19,133
- like with the laptop
- and my brother's balls.
- 106
- 00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:21,035
- We're not sure that's what
- happened with your brother.
- 107
- 00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:22,903
- Honey, you're being ridiculous.
- 108
- 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,672
- Kayla's becoming a woman.
- This isn't the time
- 109
- 00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,741
- to tighten your grip;
- it's the time to loosen it.
- 110
- 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,809
- This? This means
- we tighten the grip.
- 111
- 00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:30,811
- This isn't built for comfort;
- it's built for speed.
- 112
- 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:32,347
- We need to slow it
- the fuck down.
- 113
- 00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:35,751
- The appliances go in
- after the backsplash.
- 114
- 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,320
- We've done it the same way
- every time.
- 115
- 00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:42,225
- Uh-huh. All right,
- put him on the phone.
- 116
- 00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:46,927
- I'm in the bathroom.
- 117
- 00:06:08,919 --> 00:06:10,388
- Thanks.
- I was looking for that.
- 118
- 00:06:12,222 --> 00:06:14,056
- You mind telling me
- what this is?
- 119
- 00:06:14,058 --> 00:06:15,924
- - Uh, fuzz.
- - Yeah.
- 120
- 00:06:15,926 --> 00:06:17,859
- Yeah, fuzz.
- That's what I thought it was,
- 121
- 00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:19,361
- and then upon further
- investigation,
- 122
- 00:06:19,363 --> 00:06:21,962
- it is clearly an unraveled
- filter of a cigarette.
- 123
- 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,465
- Kayla, are you a... a smoker?
- 124
- 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,133
- What? No.
- 125
- 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,102
- Not a smoker, Dad.
- 126
- 00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:30,071
- Hey, haven't you seen the
- billions of ads that tell you
- 127
- 00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:31,873
- - not to do this stuff?
- - Dad!
- 128
- 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,775
- You can't teach someone
- not to try things, okay?
- 129
- 00:06:33,777 --> 00:06:35,844
- That's what trying things
- is for... to teach you things.
- 130
- 00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:37,145
- It's a contradiction.
- 131
- 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,313
- It's like telling me
- 132
- 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,450
- not to go for a triple
- on a base hit to the gap
- 133
- 00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:43,150
- when I've made a good turn
- around first
- 134
- 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,073
- and I know that the
- right fielder has a weak arm.
- 135
- 00:06:46,856 --> 00:06:48,323
- Damn it, you're smart.
- 136
- 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,725
- Okay. Yeah, all right.
- 137
- 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,126
- Time to get ready
- for school, Dad.
- 138
- 00:06:52,128 --> 00:06:53,494
- Okay, all right.
- 139
- 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,797
- Julie! Sam!
- 140
- 00:06:55,799 --> 00:06:56,864
- Hey, girl!
- 141
- 00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,032
- Whoa!
- 142
- 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,070
- - I almost died.
- - Prom night!
- 143
- 00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:03,504
- Prom!
- 144
- 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,439
- I'm so, so excited.
- 145
- 00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,008
- Oh, me, too.
- 146
- 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,080
- Mm. I love you.
- 147
- 00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:14,181
- I love you, too.
- 148
- 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,417
- All right.
- 149
- 00:07:15,419 --> 00:07:16,484
- - We're so gross.
- - I know.
- 150
- 00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:17,919
- People are looking at us.
- 151
- 00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:19,121
- - I don't care.
- - We better get
- 152
- 00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:20,363
- "cutest couple"
- in the yearbook.
- 153
- 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,534
- I'm having sex.
- 154
- 00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:34,936
- That's great.
- 155
- 00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:36,304
- I'm having soup.
- 156
- 00:07:36,306 --> 00:07:37,438
- No.
- 157
- 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,508
- Tonight with Austin.
- 158
- 00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:41,542
- - Wait, you're finally gonna do it?
- - Yeah.
- 159
- 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,778
- I mean, you know, we've been
- dating for six months,
- 160
- 00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,246
- and we love each other,
- 161
- 00:07:45,248 --> 00:07:47,148
- and I just awkwardly
- got my pediatrician
- 162
- 00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:48,549
- to put me on birth control.
- 163
- 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,518
- She gave me a sticker.
- 164
- 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,419
- Two because I was good, so...
- 165
- 00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:54,890
- I know it's, like, kind of
- corny or whatever, but it just
- 166
- 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,558
- seems like prom night...
- 167
- 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,926
- it's kind of perfect, you know?
- 168
- 00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:00,427
- We're gonna have, like,
- 169
- 00:08:00,429 --> 00:08:03,864
- dim lighting
- and rose petals on the bed
- 170
- 00:08:03,866 --> 00:08:05,967
- and the scent from that candle
- that gets me horny
- 171
- 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,434
- every time I pass it
- in Walgreens.
- 172
- 00:08:07,436 --> 00:08:09,003
- All candles get me horny.
- 173
- 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,371
- I'm gonna look
- into Austin's eyes,
- 174
- 00:08:10,373 --> 00:08:13,174
- and then he's gonna look
- into mine,
- 175
- 00:08:13,176 --> 00:08:15,176
- and then we're gonna, like,
- 176
- 00:08:15,178 --> 00:08:16,811
- touch each other's faces,
- you know?
- 177
- 00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,446
- For, like, a long time.
- 178
- 00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:20,314
- Like, a long time.
- 179
- 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:21,816
- Just to, like, connect.
- 180
- 00:08:21,818 --> 00:08:24,251
- And then we're gonna...
- 181
- 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,922
- Kapow.
- 182
- 00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:29,224
- All right, fuck it, I'm in.
- 183
- 00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:30,592
- - What?
- - I'm in.
- 184
- 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:31,859
- I'm having sex tonight, too.
- 185
- 00:08:31,861 --> 00:08:33,595
- Uh... just like that?
- 186
- 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,595
- Yeah. I mean, why not?
- 187
- 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,297
- Because it's your first time,
- 188
- 00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:38,999
- and your first time
- should be special and perfect.
- 189
- 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,368
- Yours can be special
- and perfect.
- 190
- 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:44,239
- Mine is gonna be tonight
- and with that dude.
- 191
- 00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:45,941
- Yeah, they're just brownies.
- They're not, like...
- 192
- 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,075
- Connor Aldrich?
- Your lab partner?
- 193
- 00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:50,110
- - Yeah. What?
- - You haven't even hooked up with him.
- 194
- 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,580
- You haven't even
- seen his thing yet.
- 195
- 00:08:51,582 --> 00:08:53,013
- What if he has a weird one?
- 196
- 00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,114
- They're all weird.
- 197
- 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,883
- Penises are not for looking at.
- 198
- 00:08:55,885 --> 00:08:57,451
- They're for use.
- They're like plungers.
- 199
- 00:08:57,453 --> 00:09:00,154
- Listen, my student athlete days
- are over.
- 200
- 00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:01,989
- Tonight is the beginning
- of my adult life,
- 201
- 00:09:01,991 --> 00:09:04,558
- and for the first time
- I can do whatever I want.
- 202
- 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,961
- So I want to go to prom,
- get drunk,
- 203
- 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,098
- get potted up on weed
- and lose my goddamn virginity.
- 204
- 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,966
- We're gonna have the same
- first-time-sex anniversary.
- 205
- 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,601
- We can go to dinner every year
- and commemorate it.
- 206
- 00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:15,604
- - Olive Garden.
- - Yes! Olive Garden.
- 207
- 00:09:15,606 --> 00:09:17,172
- Breadsticks for life, bitch.
- 208
- 00:09:17,174 --> 00:09:19,474
- - Yeah!
- - Oh, my God, it is gonna be
- 209
- 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:23,047
- such a relief to get this over
- and done with before college.
- 210
- 00:09:24,213 --> 00:09:26,281
- Um, no, I mean, like...
- 211
- 00:09:26,283 --> 00:09:27,648
- No, it's cool.
- 212
- 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,283
- I just don't think
- I'm there yet.
- 213
- 00:09:29,285 --> 00:09:31,253
- You know, maybe something
- might happen tonight
- 214
- 00:09:31,255 --> 00:09:34,255
- with me and Chad, but, uh,
- 215
- 00:09:34,257 --> 00:09:37,194
- I don't think sex
- is gonna be that thing.
- 216
- 00:09:44,635 --> 00:09:45,635
- Sam?
- 217
- 00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:51,639
- But you never know
- what could happen.
- 218
- 00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:54,142
- I mean, maybe
- my inner sexual Smaug
- 219
- 00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:56,847
- will emerge from its keep
- and spread its mighty wings.
- 220
- 00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:00,348
- I never know
- what you're talking about.
- 221
- 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,316
- Yeah, I... me, neither.
- 222
- 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,597
- Oh, my God.
- 223
- 00:10:26,076 --> 00:10:28,279
- Julie, is that you?
- 224
- 00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:37,018
- So realistic.
- 225
- 00:10:40,189 --> 00:10:42,325
- Ugh. God.
- 226
- 00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:47,195
- Come on, Sam, we're waiting.
- 227
- 00:10:47,197 --> 00:10:49,000
- Be right there!
- 228
- 00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:51,999
- - There she is.
- - All right, took me 20 minutes
- 229
- 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,435
- to figure out how to do
- video on this thing,
- 230
- 00:10:53,437 --> 00:10:54,536
- but I finally got it.
- 231
- 00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:56,003
- Oh!
- 232
- 00:10:56,005 --> 00:10:57,604
- Nope. Took a picture of myself.
- 233
- 00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:59,974
- Siri, video, please.
- 234
- 00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:02,277
- Wow! That Chad is going to rip
- 235
- 00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:04,112
- through his little
- tuxedo pants.
- 236
- 00:11:04,114 --> 00:11:06,047
- - Mom. That's gross.
- - What?
- 237
- 00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:08,148
- - Why?
- - 'Cause you're practically imagining
- 238
- 00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,718
- your daughter
- in sexual congress.
- 239
- 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,018
- You sicko.
- 240
- 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,586
- Ah!
- 241
- 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,589
- I was just trying
- to connect with you.
- 242
- 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,992
- You never talk to us anymore.
- 243
- 00:11:16,994 --> 00:11:19,697
- - Hey, I got this.
- - Okay.
- 244
- 00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,233
- Prom night, huh?
- 245
- 00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:28,168
- I got sad and reflective
- on my prom night, too.
- 246
- 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,637
- - You were?
- - Yeah. I was scared I wasn't
- 247
- 00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:31,306
- gonna stay friends
- with the guys I had
- 248
- 00:11:31,308 --> 00:11:33,374
- been around most of my life,
- but I was able to...
- 249
- 00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:34,709
- - Hey, baby, I love you so much.
- - What?
- 250
- 00:11:34,711 --> 00:11:35,777
- You just really
- freaked her out.
- 251
- 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,644
- Sweetie, if you're worried
- 252
- 00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:40,782
- about that at all,
- just know you shouldn't be.
- 253
- 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:43,417
- You never stay friends
- with people from high school.
- 254
- 00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:45,152
- I mean, the oldest friend
- I have is Jan
- 255
- 00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:46,687
- from work, and I've known her
- for three months.
- 256
- 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,523
- - Who's Jan?
- - You know Jan, babe.
- 257
- 00:11:48,525 --> 00:11:50,291
- She draws those silly cartoons.
- 258
- 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,726
- - Oh, racist Jan.
- - Yeah, that's the one.
- 259
- 00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:56,031
- Who you are today
- is not who you're going to be.
- 260
- 00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:57,731
- And that's okay.
- 261
- 00:11:57,733 --> 00:12:00,200
- - That's good therapy.
- - And who you become will be
- 262
- 00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:02,670
- so different that your friends
- won't understand you anymore,
- 263
- 00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,339
- and then you will wake up
- and realize
- 264
- 00:12:04,341 --> 00:12:05,739
- these friendships are over.
- 265
- 00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:07,742
- This feels like
- a very painful divorce,
- 266
- 00:12:07,744 --> 00:12:09,676
- just like the one I had
- with your father,
- 267
- 00:12:09,678 --> 00:12:11,678
- but then you'll find a Frank.
- 268
- 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,816
- Uh, I appreciate that,
- but that's not my deal.
- 269
- 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,484
- I'm still cool
- with a lot of my boys because
- 270
- 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,388
- on prom night,
- me, Dennis, Matt and Cory
- 271
- 00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,691
- all convinced our friend Steve
- to join the Army.
- 272
- 00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:25,627
- He fought
- in the Persian Gulf War.
- 273
- 00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:27,494
- He died right away.
- 274
- 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:29,163
- But once you go through
- 275
- 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,465
- something like that,
- you're bonded for life.
- 276
- 00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:34,668
- The bedrock of deep,
- meaningful friendships
- 277
- 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,206
- is shared experience.
- 278
- 00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:40,577
- I thought they were gonna
- put him in the Reserves.
- 279
- 00:12:44,213 --> 00:12:46,717
- That is some horseshit.
- 280
- 00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:53,323
- Hmm.
- 281
- 00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:01,796
- Wow.
- 282
- 00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:03,864
- You look so beautiful.
- 283
- 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,270
- Turn around.
- 284
- 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:10,205
- Wow.
- 285
- 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:11,638
- Oh, my goodness.
- 286
- 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,108
- Wow.
- 287
- 00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:16,643
- So, what's the big plan
- for after prom?
- 288
- 00:13:16,645 --> 00:13:18,513
- Uh, we're just going
- to Austin's.
- 289
- 00:13:18,515 --> 00:13:19,781
- You really like him, huh?
- 290
- 00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,682
- Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's...
- 291
- 00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:23,618
- Yeah, he's cool. It's not,
- like, serious or anything.
- 292
- 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:26,220
- His mom told me
- he got into UCLA.
- 293
- 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,723
- - That's nice.
- - Yeah, I mean, it's good.
- 294
- 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,825
- You remember that time
- when, like,
- 295
- 00:13:30,827 --> 00:13:33,161
- I thought about going to UCLA?
- 296
- 00:13:33,163 --> 00:13:35,396
- Yes.
- That would have been crazy.
- 297
- 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,264
- That would have been
- the worst mistake ever.
- 298
- 00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,901
- I don't think it would have
- been that huge of a mistake.
- 299
- 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,737
- Uh, yes, it would have.
- 300
- 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,571
- University of Chicago
- is perfect.
- 301
- 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,907
- It's 45 minutes away.
- 302
- 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,577
- So that way you're gone,
- but you're not "gone" gone.
- 303
- 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,446
- But I'm gone.
- 304
- 00:13:52,448 --> 00:13:54,615
- Right, but not, like, gone.
- 305
- 00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:56,618
- Right, but, like,
- I'm going to college,
- 306
- 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,619
- and, like,
- I'm not gonna live at home,
- 307
- 00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,522
- so I'm, like... I'm gone.
- 308
- 00:14:00,524 --> 00:14:02,322
- Mm-hmm.
- 309
- 00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:04,893
- Why are my boobs so big?
- 310
- 00:14:04,895 --> 00:14:06,864
- - Ready, Kayla?
- - Yup.
- 311
- 00:14:08,698 --> 00:14:10,632
- And now...
- 312
- 00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:12,200
- ...standing at five foot,
- seven inches...
- 313
- 00:14:12,202 --> 00:14:13,700
- five, nine if you count
- the heels...
- 314
- 00:14:13,702 --> 00:14:16,303
- straight out
- of Great Lakes High School,
- 315
- 00:14:16,305 --> 00:14:18,406
- the prettiest girl
- in all of prom...
- 316
- 00:14:18,408 --> 00:14:20,575
- Kayla Mannes!
- 317
- 00:14:23,847 --> 00:14:26,547
- Uh... just high fives
- from now on.
- 318
- 00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:28,316
- - Okay.
- - Oh, honey, I never thought
- 319
- 00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:29,617
- I'd see you in a dress.
- 320
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,552
- Technically,
- it's not a full dress.
- 321
- 00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:33,488
- Some material is missing
- from the middle there.
- 322
- 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,522
- Okay.
- 323
- 00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:35,556
- You look great.
- 324
- 00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:36,691
- All right.
- 325
- 00:14:36,693 --> 00:14:37,926
- Yeah, I think it's time to go.
- 326
- 00:14:37,928 --> 00:14:38,926
- Yes. Yeah.
- 327
- 00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:40,494
- Honey, we got to go.
- 328
- 00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:42,229
- Honey?
- 329
- 00:14:42,231 --> 00:14:44,331
- Dad, are you okay?
- 330
- 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,402
- It's like when
- he watched Frozen.
- 331
- 00:14:47,404 --> 00:14:48,503
- Come on.
- 332
- 00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:51,906
- Hi. How are you?
- 333
- 00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:52,941
- - Hi.
- - Hi. How are you?
- 334
- 00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:53,941
- Oh, Sam.
- 335
- 00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:55,210
- Hi, Marcie.
- 336
- 00:14:55,212 --> 00:14:56,777
- Oh. Oh, oh.
- 337
- 00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:58,546
- - Hey, Mitchell.
- - Hey. Haven't seen you in a while.
- 338
- 00:14:58,548 --> 00:14:59,980
- - Yeah.
- - You know, I was worried
- 339
- 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,216
- when I never heard back
- from you about hot yoga.
- 340
- 00:15:02,218 --> 00:15:03,484
- Called you a bunch of times.
- 341
- 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,987
- - I ended up having to eat that two-for-one Groupon.
- - Oh, yeah.
- 342
- 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,622
- I don't really do
- the hot yoga thing.
- 343
- 00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:09,691
- - It's just...
- - Well, we should catch up, though, right?
- 344
- 00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:11,558
- - Yeah.
- - Like a lunch. I don't know.
- 345
- 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,460
- Yeah, maybe.
- Yeah, give me a call.
- 346
- 00:15:13,462 --> 00:15:14,796
- - I've been calling you.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 347
- 00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:16,497
- Doesn't work.
- 348
- 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,768
- It's not effective.
- 349
- 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,316
- I don't even know. Wait, wait, wait.
- 350
- 00:15:35,318 --> 00:15:36,718
- - Oh, my gosh, thank you.
- - You guys, you guys.
- 351
- 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,253
- Wait, this is, like,
- the best lighting
- 352
- 00:15:38,255 --> 00:15:39,720
- with the Valencia filter,
- so wait, wait.
- 353
- 00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,755
- Oh, God. All right, here we go.
- 354
- 00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:42,990
- - Yeah, okay, that's enough.
- - One more.
- 355
- 00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,425
- - We're good.
- - Oh, my God.
- 356
- 00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:45,826
- We need to get
- this party started.
- 357
- 00:15:45,828 --> 00:15:46,960
- - Ooh! Okay, Julie.
- - Hmm?
- 358
- 00:15:46,962 --> 00:15:48,332
- I got you something.
- 359
- 00:15:49,466 --> 00:15:50,864
- It's coconut oil.
- 360
- 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,300
- For lube.
- 361
- 00:15:52,302 --> 00:15:53,968
- I hear it works just as well
- 362
- 00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:56,037
- and it makes blow jobs
- taste like Almond Joy.
- 363
- 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,971
- Thank God it doesn't
- taste like Mounds.
- 364
- 00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:00,474
- I'd rather eat ten dicks
- than one Mound.
- 365
- 00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:03,277
- - Mm.
- - But thank you. That's so sweet.
- 366
- 00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:04,178
- - Oh!
- - Aw!
- 367
- 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,846
- - Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
- - Me, too.
- 368
- 00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:07,849
- - Oh, my God!
- - You have to text me, like, right away.
- 369
- 00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:09,683
- Oh, my God, we're gonna be
- doing it at the same time.
- 370
- 00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:11,418
- Oh, my God. We have
- to talk about it tomorrow.
- 371
- 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,487
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, every detail.
- 372
- 00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,754
- - There's gonna be so much to talk about.
- - Guys?
- 373
- 00:16:13,756 --> 00:16:16,291
- Hey, guys.
- 374
- 00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:18,659
- I want in on this sex pact.
- 375
- 00:16:18,661 --> 00:16:21,763
- Are you sure? You don't have
- to do this just because we are.
- 376
- 00:16:21,765 --> 00:16:23,297
- No, that's not why.
- 377
- 00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:25,867
- I want to have sex. Yeah.
- 378
- 00:16:25,869 --> 00:16:28,436
- That's something
- all three of us have in common.
- 379
- 00:16:28,438 --> 00:16:29,637
- - Mm-hmm.
- - Chad is gonna
- 380
- 00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:33,974
- tap that ass with his penis.
- 381
- 00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:37,311
- And I doubt we'll have anal
- the first time, but...
- 382
- 00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:39,580
- - All right.
- - This is gonna make tonight
- 383
- 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,447
- - even more perfect.
- - Yeah.
- 384
- 00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,383
- - It's gonna be the three of us!
- - Yes!
- 385
- 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,787
- Prom night, motherfuckers!
- 386
- 00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:50,724
- Yeah! Rudy, it's coming up.
- 387
- 00:16:50,726 --> 00:16:51,926
- Bear left, bro.
- 388
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,561
- Yeah! Jesus, Rudy.
- 389
- 00:16:53,563 --> 00:16:55,797
- What the fuck? Yeah!
- 390
- 00:16:55,799 --> 00:16:58,566
- Oh, my God,
- it's my fucking dad.
- 391
- 00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:08,375
- Yeah! Prom night, bitches!
- 392
- 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,346
- - Yeah!
- - Oh, God, it's him.
- 393
- 00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:13,881
- Oh, what's up? Yo!
- 394
- 00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,954
- Taio Cruz.
- 395
- 00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,424
- - You got this, girl.
- - Don't mess this up,
- 396
- 00:17:24,426 --> 00:17:26,893
- because that limo
- is totally awesome.
- 397
- 00:17:26,895 --> 00:17:29,831
- Sam. Sam.
- 398
- 00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,132
- Taio Cruz.
- 399
- 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,600
- Whew!
- 400
- 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,537
- Sorry.
- 401
- 00:17:36,539 --> 00:17:38,139
- Sorry. Ho!
- 402
- 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,977
- Whew!
- 403
- 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,150
- You're so grown up.
- 404
- 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,852
- Dad, what are you doing here?
- 405
- 00:17:50,854 --> 00:17:53,387
- You think I'm gonna miss
- the most important night
- 406
- 00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:55,623
- of your young life?
- 407
- 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,158
- - That's graduation.
- - No.
- 408
- 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,659
- Graduation's for losers.
- 409
- 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,027
- Didn't even go
- to my graduation.
- 410
- 00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:02,529
- But prom night...
- that's a big one.
- 411
- 00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,731
- Prom was the best night
- of my life.
- 412
- 00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,133
- I think about it every day,
- 413
- 00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:08,035
- and I want you to have
- the same experience.
- 414
- 00:18:08,037 --> 00:18:09,903
- Tonight, you have fun.
- You don't worry
- 415
- 00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:12,940
- about any rules that your mom
- or Frank laid down.
- 416
- 00:18:12,942 --> 00:18:14,776
- No one gives a fuck
- about Frank.
- 417
- 00:18:14,778 --> 00:18:16,043
- All I know is this...
- you look amazing,
- 418
- 00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:17,577
- and I would love
- to grab a quick pic.
- 419
- 00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:19,780
- No. Go stand
- with the other parents,
- 420
- 00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:21,615
- and try to be normal.
- 421
- 00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:23,617
- Sam, I'm not a normal parent.
- I'm not gonna...
- 422
- 00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:25,420
- Just... I don't even fucking...
- 423
- 00:18:25,422 --> 00:18:27,154
- - Holy shit, you invited Hunter?
- - No, of course not.
- 424
- 00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:29,489
- I haven't talked to him since
- he and Brenda got divorced.
- 425
- 00:18:29,491 --> 00:18:30,924
- - You know he calls me all the time?
- - What?
- 426
- 00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,993
- He wants to play darts.
- I don't play darts.
- 427
- 00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:34,662
- - Darts?
- - You kidding me?
- 428
- 00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:35,896
- - Anyway, I can't hang out with him.
- - Oh!
- 429
- 00:18:35,898 --> 00:18:37,698
- - I'll be guilty by association.
- - No, no.
- 430
- 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,866
- I will never forgive
- that babysitter fucker.
- 431
- 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,635
- - Hey, Hunter.
- - Hey, man. Good to see you.
- 432
- 00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:42,903
- - What up?
- - Hey, all right?
- 433
- 00:18:42,905 --> 00:18:44,172
- Mwah!
- 434
- 00:18:44,174 --> 00:18:47,475
- Ah.
- 435
- 00:18:47,477 --> 00:18:49,009
- Did you have another daughter?
- 436
- 00:18:49,011 --> 00:18:50,944
- I did. I did. Thank you.
- 437
- 00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:53,079
- - It's... it's been wonderful.
- - Yeah.
- 438
- 00:18:53,081 --> 00:18:54,449
- I'm thinking about
- doing that again.
- 439
- 00:18:54,451 --> 00:18:55,615
- You know,
- the whole second round.
- 440
- 00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:57,151
- I think a lot of dads kind of
- 441
- 00:18:57,153 --> 00:18:58,719
- get it right
- the second time around.
- 442
- 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,688
- Or, you know, you could
- 443
- 00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,222
- just raise the one
- that you have.
- 444
- 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,825
- Well, I did.
- Too late for that.
- 445
- 00:19:03,827 --> 00:19:05,726
- Raised. Job done.
- Hi, honey.
- 446
- 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,495
- Actually, I heard,
- 447
- 00:19:07,497 --> 00:19:09,596
- if you spend
- a significant amount
- 448
- 00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:11,531
- of time with your children,
- that you develop
- 449
- 00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:14,935
- some kind of, like,
- telekinetic bond with them.
- 450
- 00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:17,004
- - Is that true?
- - I've heard. Mm-hmm.
- 451
- 00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:18,739
- I hope it's not true,
- 'cause if it is,
- 452
- 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,608
- Sam has been looking
- at a lot of Asian porn.
- 453
- 00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,544
- My wife's Asian.
- 454
- 00:19:23,546 --> 00:19:24,912
- Indian.
- 455
- 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,146
- That's Asian.
- 456
- 00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:27,981
- This is more like, uh...
- 457
- 00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:29,717
- It looks like when...
- the typical Asian.
- 458
- 00:19:29,719 --> 00:19:31,219
- - Yep, good seeing you, man.
- - Uh, okay.
- 459
- 00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:33,062
- Good to see you, brother.
- You know what I mean.
- 460
- 00:19:33,789 --> 00:19:35,489
- Who's this guy? Who are you?
- 461
- 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:36,958
- Dad, this is my date.
- 462
- 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,860
- Hi. Uh, it's great
- to meet you, sir.
- 463
- 00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:40,060
- - I'm-I'm Connor.
- - Connor and I...
- 464
- 00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:41,229
- we're in the same
- science class.
- 465
- 00:19:41,231 --> 00:19:42,130
- We're lab partners.
- 466
- 00:19:42,132 --> 00:19:43,864
- Yeah, we're working
- on our chemistry.
- 467
- 00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,034
- Uh...
- 468
- 00:19:47,036 --> 00:19:50,604
- Um, I'm gonna get a napkin,
- if that's cool.
- 469
- 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,106
- Okay.
- 470
- 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,509
- Okay, so, uh...
- 471
- 00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:59,113
- with this, it's, uh, one shot
- to the groin, stab and drag.
- 472
- 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,615
- I refuse to believe
- she couldn't do better
- 473
- 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:05,052
- - than that loser.
- - Oh, I think Chad seems nice.
- 474
- 00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,187
- Chad? No, Chad's amazing.
- 475
- 00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:07,889
- - Look at that fedora.
- - Yeah.
- 476
- 00:20:07,891 --> 00:20:09,589
- I'm not talking about Chad.
- 477
- 00:20:09,591 --> 00:20:11,191
- I'm talking about
- fucking Frank. What a dick.
- 478
- 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:13,227
- Frank does not seem
- like a dick to me.
- 479
- 00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:15,229
- He seems like a nice guy.
- 480
- 00:20:15,231 --> 00:20:16,998
- And you know what?
- Don't blame Brenda.
- 481
- 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,798
- It's really hard being alone.
- 482
- 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,634
- Well, let's just agree
- to disagree on Frank.
- 483
- 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,269
- Oh, here they come.
- Okay, just be cool.
- 484
- 00:20:22,271 --> 00:20:24,572
- He's gonna talk about his
- tow truck company instantly.
- 485
- 00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:27,541
- I guarantee you he's gonna
- throw that shit in my face.
- 486
- 00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:28,742
- Be cool, be cool, be cool.
- 487
- 00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:29,876
- Brenda.
- 488
- 00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:31,180
- Hunter.
- 489
- 00:20:32,248 --> 00:20:33,247
- Frank.
- 490
- 00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:35,883
- - Lisa.
- - What'd I do?
- 491
- 00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:38,018
- I'm sorry. I don't know why I
- just said your name like that.
- 492
- 00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,152
- This is so nice. Thank you.
- 493
- 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,824
- You're welcome.
- 494
- 00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:44,558
- Okay.
- 495
- 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,826
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis.
- 496
- 00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,328
- - I got to go get Julie's wrap.
- - Mm.
- 497
- 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,297
- Were you gonna
- let our daughter
- 498
- 00:20:50,299 --> 00:20:51,932
- take a fucking Lyft to prom?
- 499
- 00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:53,601
- What is this, Afghanistan?
- 500
- 00:20:53,603 --> 00:20:54,868
- How'd you pay for that limo,
- Hunter?
- 501
- 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,269
- 'Cause I know your credit's
- in the shitter.
- 502
- 00:20:56,271 --> 00:20:57,805
- It is.
- 503
- 00:20:57,807 --> 00:20:59,839
- 'Cause I bought your mom
- a wheelchair.
- 504
- 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,174
- She's gonna pay you back.
- 505
- 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,044
- With what money, Brenda?
- Can she pay me back
- 506
- 00:21:03,046 --> 00:21:04,345
- with crackers that she steals
- from restaurants?
- 507
- 00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,880
- I don't want
- to talk about your mom.
- 508
- 00:21:05,882 --> 00:21:07,147
- I don't want to talk
- about her wheelchair.
- 509
- 00:21:07,149 --> 00:21:08,649
- All I care about
- is that my daughter
- 510
- 00:21:08,651 --> 00:21:09,784
- has the greatest night
- of her life.
- 511
- 00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:11,952
- If it was her greatest night,
- you would not be here.
- 512
- 00:21:11,954 --> 00:21:13,621
- Oh, what a sick burn.
- 513
- 00:21:13,623 --> 00:21:15,056
- All right,
- all right, all right.
- 514
- 00:21:15,058 --> 00:21:16,923
- - Good.
- - Yo, wait, yo, yo. We're all adults here.
- 515
- 00:21:16,925 --> 00:21:20,260
- Let's not make it uncomfortable
- if you're gonna be around more.
- 516
- 00:21:20,262 --> 00:21:22,162
- - Let's have a beer sometime.
- - Okay, first of all,
- 517
- 00:21:22,164 --> 00:21:24,164
- I don't want to go
- to have a beer with you.
- 518
- 00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:26,100
- I don't want to hang out
- with you. I don't like you.
- 519
- 00:21:26,102 --> 00:21:27,835
- I don't like your wife.
- I don't like your guys' deal.
- 520
- 00:21:27,837 --> 00:21:29,336
- I think it sucks
- and it's played out.
- 521
- 00:21:29,338 --> 00:21:31,806
- Hey, if you ever change
- your mind, here's my card.
- 522
- 00:21:31,808 --> 00:21:33,708
- Ah, here we go.
- "Tow with Frank."
- 523
- 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,643
- Where'd you come up
- with that name?
- 524
- 00:21:35,645 --> 00:21:37,612
- - It's very straightforward.
- - All right, I'll tell you this.
- 525
- 00:21:37,614 --> 00:21:39,113
- The design of that card
- is pretty cool.
- 526
- 00:21:39,115 --> 00:21:40,815
- And my favorite part
- is right fucking there.
- 527
- 00:21:40,817 --> 00:21:42,653
- Oh, God.
- 528
- 00:22:12,115 --> 00:22:14,114
- Wow, that is just...
- No, that's us, Frank.
- 529
- 00:22:14,116 --> 00:22:16,083
- - You know what?
- - I got it. I got it.
- 530
- 00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,284
- You've taken about 15
- goddamn selfies.
- 531
- 00:22:17,286 --> 00:22:18,719
- - Yeah!
- - All right.
- 532
- 00:22:18,721 --> 00:22:20,254
- All right. Cool.
- 533
- 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,322
- Bye, Mom.
- 534
- 00:22:21,324 --> 00:22:23,056
- - Have fun, honey. Okay.
- - I will.
- 535
- 00:22:23,058 --> 00:22:24,290
- Bye, Dad.
- 536
- 00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:27,094
- Remember... stab, turn, drag.
- 537
- 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,328
- I don't have the knife, Dad.
- 538
- 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,530
- Yes, you do.
- Check your clutch.
- 539
- 00:22:31,733 --> 00:22:33,334
- Hey, uh, it's been
- a pleasure, sir.
- 540
- 00:22:33,336 --> 00:22:36,336
- I really, um,
- it's... I'm honored.
- 541
- 00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:37,904
- Oh.
- 542
- 00:22:37,906 --> 00:22:39,373
- Intense, professional grip.
- 543
- 00:22:39,375 --> 00:22:40,908
- Cheers.
- 544
- 00:22:40,910 --> 00:22:42,710
- Take it easy, big guy.
- 545
- 00:22:42,712 --> 00:22:46,012
- Hey, uh, you guys have
- a good night, too, you know.
- 546
- 00:22:46,014 --> 00:22:47,414
- Thank you.
- 547
- 00:22:47,416 --> 00:22:49,383
- See that smirk?
- What was up with that smirk?
- 548
- 00:22:49,385 --> 00:22:51,451
- You are intense.
- 549
- 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:52,987
- - Sam. Hey.
- - Oh, hey, Mr. Lockwood.
- 550
- 00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:54,055
- - Hey.
- - Nice to meet you.
- 551
- 00:22:54,057 --> 00:22:56,222
- - Chad, yes, come on, man. Bring it in.
- - Yes. Oh.
- 552
- 00:22:56,224 --> 00:22:57,458
- Good. Yeah.
- 553
- 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:58,992
- My hat.
- 554
- 00:22:58,994 --> 00:23:01,729
- - I want to talk to Sam real quick.
- - Yeah. Okay.
- 555
- 00:23:01,731 --> 00:23:03,998
- Uh, let-let me get
- a picture real quick. Chad.
- 556
- 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,900
- - Oh. Okay.
- - Real quick photo. Just so fast.
- 557
- 00:23:05,902 --> 00:23:07,168
- Just don't even fuck
- with a filter.
- 558
- 00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:08,236
- - Just-just plain.
- - Okay. Here we go.
- 559
- 00:23:08,238 --> 00:23:10,136
- - There we go. And there.
- - And then you want to get
- 560
- 00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:11,439
- a quick one of me and Chad
- real quick?
- 561
- 00:23:11,441 --> 00:23:12,339
- - That sounds cool.
- - Here you go.
- 562
- 00:23:12,341 --> 00:23:13,908
- - Okay. - Yep.
- - Sammy, here you go, baby.
- 563
- 00:23:13,910 --> 00:23:15,142
- Real quick.
- Just a couple fun ones.
- 564
- 00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:16,477
- What are we doing?
- Uh... like this?
- 565
- 00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:18,345
- Bros.
- 566
- 00:23:18,347 --> 00:23:20,014
- Duck lips.
- 567
- 00:23:20,016 --> 00:23:22,115
- And then just kind of a...
- 568
- 00:23:22,117 --> 00:23:23,750
- Julie?
- 569
- 00:23:23,752 --> 00:23:25,286
- Can I talk to you a second?
- 570
- 00:23:25,288 --> 00:23:27,188
- We got to go. I love you.
- 571
- 00:23:27,190 --> 00:23:28,255
- I'd really like to talk to you.
- 572
- 00:23:28,257 --> 00:23:29,923
- But I really gotta go.
- 573
- 00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:31,357
- Okay, fine.
- Just don't forget your wrap.
- 574
- 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:32,960
- It's okay.
- 575
- 00:23:32,962 --> 00:23:34,729
- - I don't think I need it.
- - Are you sure?
- 576
- 00:23:34,731 --> 00:23:37,464
- Because we live in Chicago,
- and it's chilly.
- 577
- 00:23:37,466 --> 00:23:39,299
- I don't know
- about other places,
- 578
- 00:23:39,301 --> 00:23:42,004
- but it gets cold in Illinois.
- 579
- 00:23:43,772 --> 00:23:45,239
- It's not that cold tonight,
- so I don't
- 580
- 00:23:45,241 --> 00:23:47,274
- - think I need it, okay?
- - Okay, Julie, wait.
- 581
- 00:23:47,276 --> 00:23:49,809
- So you'll call me when you get
- to Austin's after prom, right?
- 582
- 00:23:49,811 --> 00:23:50,810
- Right.
- 583
- 00:23:50,812 --> 00:23:52,479
- Okay.
- 584
- 00:23:52,481 --> 00:23:54,214
- - Okay.
- - I love you.
- 585
- 00:23:54,216 --> 00:23:56,052
- Okay. I-I love you.
- 586
- 00:23:57,220 --> 00:23:58,752
- Okay!
- 587
- 00:23:58,754 --> 00:24:00,054
- Whew.
- 588
- 00:24:00,056 --> 00:24:02,021
- Mm. Okay.
- 589
- 00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,997
- This is so cool!
- 590
- 00:24:09,999 --> 00:24:11,865
- Blow it out!
- 591
- 00:24:13,336 --> 00:24:14,802
- Chad, I, um...
- 592
- 00:24:14,804 --> 00:24:16,037
- I saw you do Pippin
- last year.
- 593
- 00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:18,005
- - That was really good. - Oh.
- Nice.
- 594
- 00:24:18,007 --> 00:24:19,507
- Yeah, you're a
- really good singer, man.
- 595
- 00:24:19,509 --> 00:24:20,909
- - What are you doing this year?
- - Yeah. Um, we're actually
- 596
- 00:24:20,911 --> 00:24:24,010
- doing Arnold, which is
- an all-male version of Annie.
- 597
- 00:24:24,012 --> 00:24:26,346
- - Okay.
- - Caught you drinking.
- 598
- 00:24:26,348 --> 00:24:28,348
- Just kidding, y'all.
- 599
- 00:24:28,350 --> 00:24:31,852
- I may look like a parent,
- but I assure you, I am no narc.
- 600
- 00:24:31,854 --> 00:24:34,290
- Thank you, sir.
- 601
- 00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:37,892
- Not done yet. Name's Rudy.
- 602
- 00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:39,425
- I did not go to my prom.
- 603
- 00:24:39,427 --> 00:24:41,362
- No, my leg was crushed
- by a cement truck,
- 604
- 00:24:41,364 --> 00:24:42,962
- so I could not dance, but...
- 605
- 00:24:42,964 --> 00:24:45,165
- So I've made it
- my mission in life...
- 606
- 00:24:45,167 --> 00:24:46,467
- well, my whole career...
- 607
- 00:24:46,469 --> 00:24:48,501
- to make sure
- that little kids like you
- 608
- 00:24:48,503 --> 00:24:50,871
- have a wonderful night
- to remember forever.
- 609
- 00:24:50,873 --> 00:24:54,475
- So just sit back, relax
- and enjoy your prom night.
- 610
- 00:24:54,477 --> 00:24:55,976
- Okay.
- 611
- 00:24:55,978 --> 00:24:58,949
- Oh, fuck,
- that was the turn! Fuck!
- 612
- 00:25:00,383 --> 00:25:02,383
- Hey, Lis?
- 613
- 00:25:02,385 --> 00:25:04,151
- You got any S.O.S. pads?
- 614
- 00:25:04,153 --> 00:25:06,386
- I'm soaking those pans,
- but you burnt the shit
- 615
- 00:25:06,388 --> 00:25:08,389
- out of that mac and cheese,
- and...
- 616
- 00:25:08,391 --> 00:25:10,825
- sponge just isn't gonna cut it.
- 617
- 00:25:10,827 --> 00:25:12,593
- Thanks for helping clean up.
- 618
- 00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:14,394
- Don't mention this one.
- 619
- 00:25:14,396 --> 00:25:17,364
- I mean, Marcie brought the baby
- home early, and...
- 620
- 00:25:17,366 --> 00:25:18,999
- I got to keep busy.
- 621
- 00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:22,068
- I got to keep my mind off
- of Kayla and "Connor."
- 622
- 00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:24,872
- That's not the right way
- to use those.
- 623
- 00:25:24,874 --> 00:25:27,106
- 'Cause his name
- is actually Connor.
- 624
- 00:25:27,108 --> 00:25:28,377
- So...
- 625
- 00:25:29,912 --> 00:25:31,444
- It's okay.
- 626
- 00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,581
- - UCLA?
- - Uh-huh.
- 627
- 00:25:33,583 --> 00:25:35,181
- I didn't mean to snoop,
- but I'm...
- 628
- 00:25:35,183 --> 00:25:36,450
- No, no. It's okay.
- 629
- 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,352
- I mean, I don't think
- it's a real thing.
- 630
- 00:25:38,354 --> 00:25:39,920
- She's not actually gonna go.
- 631
- 00:25:39,922 --> 00:25:41,855
- I think she just applied
- for fun.
- 632
- 00:25:41,857 --> 00:25:44,191
- She didn't... Why?
- Have you heard differently?
- 633
- 00:25:44,193 --> 00:25:46,893
- I would assume it's to go,
- but she very well
- 634
- 00:25:46,895 --> 00:25:48,863
- could have applied ironically.
- 635
- 00:25:48,865 --> 00:25:50,264
- You... you know millennials,
- right?
- 636
- 00:25:50,266 --> 00:25:51,899
- - Hmm. Mm-hmm.
- - And wherever she goes,
- 637
- 00:25:51,901 --> 00:25:53,901
- you can have a bunch of time
- on your hands.
- 638
- 00:25:53,903 --> 00:25:55,068
- Can figure out
- what you want to do
- 639
- 00:25:55,070 --> 00:25:56,135
- for the back nine of your life.
- 640
- 00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:57,337
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- 641
- 00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:02,008
- I think Julie
- left her laptop open.
- 642
- 00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:04,044
- Julie's doing a lot of texting.
- 643
- 00:26:04,046 --> 00:26:06,012
- - Mm-hmm.
- - Is everything okay?
- 644
- 00:26:06,014 --> 00:26:07,948
- Maybe we should check to see?
- 645
- 00:26:07,950 --> 00:26:09,283
- - Peace of mind.
- - Yeah.
- 646
- 00:26:13,889 --> 00:26:15,256
- What the hell is that?
- 647
- 00:26:15,258 --> 00:26:17,156
- I have no idea.
- 648
- 00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:21,595
- What are you still doing here?
- 649
- 00:26:21,597 --> 00:26:23,229
- Hey, your, uh...
- 650
- 00:26:23,231 --> 00:26:25,932
- your mac and cheese
- is messed up.
- 651
- 00:26:28,436 --> 00:26:30,671
- Are you guys snooping
- on your kids?
- 652
- 00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:32,472
- That is not cool.
- 653
- 00:26:32,474 --> 00:26:34,941
- No, it's not snooping
- if the information shows up.
- 654
- 00:26:34,943 --> 00:26:36,075
- That's exactly
- what snooping is.
- 655
- 00:26:36,077 --> 00:26:37,644
- No, it's like the Patriot Act.
- It's...
- 656
- 00:26:37,646 --> 00:26:39,412
- Well, it's not like
- the Patriot Act.
- 657
- 00:26:39,414 --> 00:26:41,181
- - It's like snooping.
- - Okay, we don't know
- 658
- 00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:42,682
- what they're talking about,
- so...
- 659
- 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,050
- - What?
- - Okay.
- 660
- 00:26:44,052 --> 00:26:45,486
- Oh, is it like puzzles?
- 661
- 00:26:45,488 --> 00:26:47,587
- Ooh, ooh! I love puzzles.
- Just saw Inferno.
- 662
- 00:26:47,589 --> 00:26:49,422
- Yeah, great.
- What are they saying?
- 663
- 00:26:49,424 --> 00:26:51,158
- Okay, so there's something
- about an eggplant hand...
- 664
- 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,992
- - handshake.
- - Eggplant agreement.
- 665
- 00:26:52,994 --> 00:26:55,028
- Yeah. They got an agreement
- to make eggplant parmesan.
- 666
- 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,931
- No, eggplants are dicks
- in teenage emoji language.
- 667
- 00:26:56,933 --> 00:26:58,265
- - What?
- - You know what, that's true.
- 668
- 00:26:58,267 --> 00:26:59,600
- Julie told me that...
- that the emojis have...
- 669
- 00:26:59,602 --> 00:27:01,402
- - they all have secret meanings.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 670
- 00:27:01,404 --> 00:27:04,939
- So, like, trees are weed,
- and snowflakes are cocaine,
- 671
- 00:27:04,941 --> 00:27:07,574
- and that thing is "yas queen."
- 672
- 00:27:07,576 --> 00:27:09,476
- - Yas queen!
- - What the hell is that?
- 673
- 00:27:09,478 --> 00:27:10,611
- - You've never heard of "yas queen"?
- - No.
- 674
- 00:27:10,613 --> 00:27:11,612
- All right, grandpa.
- 675
- 00:27:11,614 --> 00:27:13,614
- Hold on. Julie is making...
- 676
- 00:27:13,616 --> 00:27:16,316
- some kind of a dick-related
- agreement here.
- 677
- 00:27:16,318 --> 00:27:18,552
- Kayla is in on the agreement.
- 678
- 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:20,120
- - No fucking way.
- - "Okay, clown face."
- 679
- 00:27:20,122 --> 00:27:22,088
- What the fuck does that mean?
- 680
- 00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:24,960
- That means she's down to clown.
- 681
- 00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:27,827
- - Okay.
- - Three eggplants?
- 682
- 00:27:27,829 --> 00:27:29,963
- And look at the drool coming
- out of that smiley face.
- 683
- 00:27:29,965 --> 00:27:30,797
- You wish that was drool.
- 684
- 00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:31,766
- - That's come, my man.
- - Stand down.
- 685
- 00:27:31,768 --> 00:27:33,968
- - It is. Look, it's come.
- - He's like...
- 686
- 00:27:33,970 --> 00:27:36,002
- This is sex
- if I've ever seen it
- 687
- 00:27:36,004 --> 00:27:38,005
- - illustrated in emoji form.
- - Oh, no, no, no. Maybe not.
- 688
- 00:27:38,007 --> 00:27:39,506
- They're best friends.
- They're just saying, like,
- 689
- 00:27:39,508 --> 00:27:41,475
- "You're okay with me.
- You're okay to me.
- 690
- 00:27:41,477 --> 00:27:43,576
- - You're okay to me."
- - You say that to your friends?
- 691
- 00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:45,011
- Whenever I see my friends,
- I go,
- 692
- 00:27:45,013 --> 00:27:46,180
- "Hey, you're okay with me."
- 693
- 00:27:46,182 --> 00:27:47,581
- - I don't use these.
- - Hold on.
- 694
- 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:49,450
- Agreement hands,
- agreement hands,
- 695
- 00:27:49,452 --> 00:27:51,352
- agreement hands. This is a...
- It's a sex agreement.
- 696
- 00:27:51,354 --> 00:27:53,354
- They're making a sex pact.
- 697
- 00:27:53,356 --> 00:27:55,489
- They're gonna lose
- their virginity on prom night.
- 698
- 00:27:55,491 --> 00:27:57,290
- That cannot be a sex pact.
- 699
- 00:27:57,292 --> 00:27:58,758
- That? That is friendship.
- 700
- 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,428
- And that is... that is the bond
- of friendship
- 701
- 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,063
- that can never be broken.
- 702
- 00:28:03,065 --> 00:28:04,364
- I mean, maybe.
- - Yeah.
- 703
- 00:28:04,366 --> 00:28:06,200
- Oh, look, they wrote
- "Sex Pact 2018."
- 704
- 00:28:06,202 --> 00:28:09,036
- I fucking knew it!
- I love puzzles.
- 705
- 00:28:09,038 --> 00:28:10,570
- I told you guys.
- Have you seen Inferno?
- 706
- 00:28:10,572 --> 00:28:12,306
- - Lis, have you seen Inferno?
- - Call your kid.
- 707
- 00:28:12,308 --> 00:28:13,774
- Have you guys seen Inferno?
- 708
- 00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,642
- I figured it out in two
- seconds. Did you see Inferno?
- 709
- 00:28:15,644 --> 00:28:17,478
- The guy jumps off the thing
- in the beginning.
- 710
- 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,512
- He's got a virus. Have you seen
- Inferno with Tom Hanks?
- 711
- 00:28:19,514 --> 00:28:21,181
- Okay. Okay, she's not
- answering her phone.
- 712
- 00:28:21,183 --> 00:28:22,415
- Yeah, Kayla isn't, either.
- 713
- 00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:23,683
- Okay, what the heck
- is happening?
- 714
- 00:28:23,685 --> 00:28:25,419
- She's always been honest
- with me.
- 715
- 00:28:25,421 --> 00:28:27,086
- She's always told me the truth,
- 716
- 00:28:27,088 --> 00:28:29,489
- and now I'm just swimming
- in a pool of lies.
- 717
- 00:28:29,491 --> 00:28:31,124
- Okay. Here's what's
- gonna happen.
- 718
- 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,760
- She's gonna have sex
- with that Austin kid,
- 719
- 00:28:33,762 --> 00:28:36,195
- and then she's gonna think
- that she has
- 720
- 00:28:36,197 --> 00:28:39,333
- all these feelings, which she
- does not actually have,
- 721
- 00:28:39,335 --> 00:28:41,567
- then she's gonna drive
- across country
- 722
- 00:28:41,569 --> 00:28:44,805
- and follow him
- and ruin her fucking life.
- 723
- 00:28:44,807 --> 00:28:46,339
- Okay, I think that's
- a pretty big
- 724
- 00:28:46,341 --> 00:28:47,708
- leap to make when you read a...
- 725
- 00:28:47,710 --> 00:28:51,178
- I have invested
- every single piece of my being
- 726
- 00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:53,047
- into preparing Kayla
- for success, and now this?
- 727
- 00:28:53,049 --> 00:28:57,584
- She is about to have sex with
- some dipshit with a "man bun."
- 728
- 00:28:57,586 --> 00:29:00,220
- You're not using those
- in the right way.
- 729
- 00:29:00,222 --> 00:29:02,355
- Hey, can we all come back
- to "planet Earth"?
- 730
- 00:29:02,357 --> 00:29:04,124
- 'Cause this is not a big deal.
- 731
- 00:29:04,126 --> 00:29:05,726
- They're teenage girls.
- They have sex.
- 732
- 00:29:05,728 --> 00:29:09,532
- Do you, like, freak out when
- you see a bee fucking a flower?
- 733
- 00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,268
- - I'm gonna stop her.
- - I'm in.
- 734
- 00:29:15,270 --> 00:29:17,136
- Let's cock-block
- those motherfuckers.
- 735
- 00:29:17,138 --> 00:29:19,172
- Whoa.
- 736
- 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:20,606
- No, sir. Uh-uh.
- No, no, no, no.
- 737
- 00:29:20,608 --> 00:29:22,375
- I promised Sam the greatest
- night of her life,
- 738
- 00:29:22,377 --> 00:29:23,844
- and if you guys fuck up
- your daughters' night,
- 739
- 00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,445
- it's gonna fuck up
- my daughter's night,
- 740
- 00:29:25,447 --> 00:29:27,181
- and that shit is "not cool."
- 741
- 00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:28,582
- I don't give a fuck
- what's cool with you.
- 742
- 00:29:28,584 --> 00:29:30,383
- Let's go, Mitchell.
- I'll drive.
- 743
- 00:29:30,385 --> 00:29:31,751
- Hey, hey, hey, wait!
- No, no, no.
- 744
- 00:29:31,753 --> 00:29:33,152
- You want to go?
- 745
- 00:29:33,154 --> 00:29:34,520
- You're gonna have
- to go through me.
- 746
- 00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:35,823
- Oh, Jesus.
- 747
- 00:29:35,825 --> 00:29:37,524
- Okay, you called my bluff.
- Wait.
- 748
- 00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:39,192
- Wait! Hey, hey!
- 749
- 00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:40,594
- - Get off! Get off of me!
- - Hey! Hey!
- 750
- 00:29:40,596 --> 00:29:42,462
- - Get off!
- - It's not cool!
- 751
- 00:29:42,464 --> 00:29:44,198
- "It's not cool!"
- 752
- 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,568
- Hey! What's the plan?
- This is stupid.
- 753
- 00:29:49,872 --> 00:29:52,105
- Fuck off.
- 754
- 00:29:52,107 --> 00:29:54,307
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- What the fuck are you doing?
- 755
- 00:29:54,309 --> 00:29:56,610
- I just need to talk to
- my daughter for five minutes.
- 756
- 00:29:56,612 --> 00:29:58,144
- Get out of the car!
- 757
- 00:29:58,146 --> 00:29:59,645
- - You get out. You get out.
- - You get out.
- 758
- 00:29:59,647 --> 00:30:01,347
- - Stop saying what I'm saying.
- - Open the door!
- 759
- 00:30:01,349 --> 00:30:02,883
- - Stop saying what I'm saying.
- - Stop saying what I'm saying.
- 760
- 00:30:02,885 --> 00:30:04,485
- - Stop... Okay, listen, listen.
- - Hey.
- 761
- 00:30:04,487 --> 00:30:06,152
- Lis. Okay, everyone calm down,
- calm down.
- 762
- 00:30:06,154 --> 00:30:07,688
- - But you got to go.
- - The-the window.
- 763
- 00:30:07,690 --> 00:30:09,556
- - No, the window.
- - Hey.
- 764
- 00:30:09,558 --> 00:30:11,691
- What the fuck? No! Holy...
- 765
- 00:30:14,629 --> 00:30:15,895
- Ah, these are new shorts!
- 766
- 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:17,163
- Truce! Truce!
- 767
- 00:30:17,165 --> 00:30:18,265
- Truce.
- 768
- 00:30:18,267 --> 00:30:20,433
- Truce, truce, truce.
- 769
- 00:30:20,435 --> 00:30:22,169
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- 770
- 00:30:22,171 --> 00:30:23,703
- Oh, my fucking God.
- 771
- 00:30:23,705 --> 00:30:24,705
- Aah!
- 772
- 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:26,839
- Sorry, man.
- 773
- 00:30:26,841 --> 00:30:28,142
- It's not gonna work.
- 774
- 00:30:28,144 --> 00:30:29,479
- You're not Schwarzenegger.
- 775
- 00:30:31,547 --> 00:30:33,313
- How is that possible?
- 776
- 00:30:33,315 --> 00:30:35,181
- How is that possible?
- Oh, shit.
- 777
- 00:30:35,183 --> 00:30:36,749
- Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh!
- 778
- 00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:38,152
- Oh, my balls! My balls!
- 779
- 00:30:38,154 --> 00:30:39,486
- Your ass is so...
- 780
- 00:30:40,655 --> 00:30:42,689
- - Get...
- - Hey! Hey!
- 781
- 00:30:42,691 --> 00:30:44,290
- - Get out!
- - Not cool! Aah!
- 782
- 00:30:44,292 --> 00:30:45,726
- You're bullying me.
- 783
- 00:30:45,728 --> 00:30:46,927
- This is bullying.
- 784
- 00:30:46,929 --> 00:30:49,328
- What you're doing is wrong!
- 785
- 00:30:49,330 --> 00:30:51,664
- You know your daughter's
- in this stupid sex pact, too.
- 786
- 00:30:51,666 --> 00:30:54,200
- Yeah, and she's not gonna
- do anything about it, okay?
- 787
- 00:30:54,202 --> 00:30:56,269
- Oh, like you would know
- what your daughter's gonna do.
- 788
- 00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,271
- Okay, first of all, ouch.
- 789
- 00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,772
- Second of all, I know nothing
- 790
- 00:30:59,774 --> 00:31:02,209
- is gonna happen with Sam
- because...
- 791
- 00:31:02,211 --> 00:31:03,777
- because she's gay.
- 792
- 00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:04,944
- Really?
- 793
- 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,579
- Did she come out to you?
- 794
- 00:31:06,581 --> 00:31:07,647
- No, of course not.
- 795
- 00:31:07,649 --> 00:31:09,249
- She barely speaks to me.
- 796
- 00:31:09,251 --> 00:31:10,651
- Then how do you know?
- 797
- 00:31:10,653 --> 00:31:11,951
- Because, bro, I'm her dad.
- 798
- 00:31:11,953 --> 00:31:13,953
- And there's just
- some things you know.
- 799
- 00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:15,288
- Chad is nothing.
- 800
- 00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:16,556
- He's like a beard.
- 801
- 00:31:16,558 --> 00:31:18,491
- Or whatever a lesbian beard is.
- 802
- 00:31:18,493 --> 00:31:19,559
- A merkin?
- 803
- 00:31:19,561 --> 00:31:20,960
- I don't know. The point is,
- 804
- 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,229
- I guarantee you
- they don't even kiss, okay?
- 805
- 00:31:23,231 --> 00:31:24,864
- I'm not worried about that.
- I'm worried about
- 806
- 00:31:24,866 --> 00:31:26,732
- you two dicks
- fucking up her night.
- 807
- 00:31:26,734 --> 00:31:28,935
- Okay, well, what you don't
- understand is that sex
- 808
- 00:31:28,937 --> 00:31:31,470
- can be very confusing
- for young girls
- 809
- 00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:34,441
- and make them say things and do
- things that they might regret.
- 810
- 00:31:34,443 --> 00:31:35,909
- Like dropping out of college
- 811
- 00:31:35,911 --> 00:31:38,211
- to follow around
- the Dave Matthews Band
- 812
- 00:31:38,213 --> 00:31:39,680
- with a guy they think they love
- 813
- 00:31:39,682 --> 00:31:41,681
- who then winds up
- getting them pregnant
- 814
- 00:31:41,683 --> 00:31:44,284
- and then leaving them
- for the girl who makes
- 815
- 00:31:44,286 --> 00:31:47,724
- grilled cheese sandwiches
- with hash aioli on them.
- 816
- 00:31:48,856 --> 00:31:50,923
- Yeah, that is a...
- 817
- 00:31:50,925 --> 00:31:54,627
- extremely specific scenario,
- and that won't happen to Julie.
- 818
- 00:31:54,629 --> 00:31:56,262
- Dave's not even touring
- right now.
- 819
- 00:31:56,264 --> 00:31:57,797
- He's taking time off
- for fatherhood.
- 820
- 00:31:57,799 --> 00:31:59,566
- It was me, you idiot.
- 821
- 00:31:59,568 --> 00:32:01,567
- Me. That happened to me.
- 822
- 00:32:01,569 --> 00:32:03,237
- Yeah.
- 823
- 00:32:15,384 --> 00:32:17,284
- You weren't ready.
- Okay, one more, one more.
- 824
- 00:32:17,286 --> 00:32:18,785
- Smile.
- 825
- 00:32:18,787 --> 00:32:19,786
- I closed my eyes.
- 826
- 00:32:19,788 --> 00:32:21,787
- Oh, my God.
- 827
- 00:32:21,789 --> 00:32:23,923
- You guys, this is our song.
- 828
- 00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:26,360
- Do you remember when we got
- snowed in at Sam's
- 829
- 00:32:26,362 --> 00:32:27,893
- and we played this, like,
- over and over?
- 830
- 00:32:27,895 --> 00:32:29,363
- - Yes!
- - We have to dance!
- 831
- 00:32:29,365 --> 00:32:30,896
- - We have to dance!
- - This is our jam!
- 832
- 00:32:45,347 --> 00:32:46,479
- - Hey. Hey.
- - Hey.
- 833
- 00:32:46,481 --> 00:32:47,547
- - I want a drink.
- - Okay.
- 834
- 00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:48,582
- Yeah, let's go get one.
- 835
- 00:32:48,584 --> 00:32:50,683
- No, no, no, no. Like, a drink.
- 836
- 00:32:50,685 --> 00:32:51,918
- Oh, you want a "drink" drink.
- 837
- 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,854
- - Yeah.
- - Okay, let me call my guy.
- 838
- 00:32:53,856 --> 00:32:55,555
- Hello, Mr. Drink-Drink.
- 839
- 00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:58,325
- - Let's go get fucked up.
- - Okay.
- 840
- 00:32:58,327 --> 00:33:00,326
- Hey, wait, Kayla, Kayla.
- 841
- 00:33:00,328 --> 00:33:01,627
- Ah, it's...
- 842
- 00:33:11,472 --> 00:33:13,573
- Hey, Chad.
- 843
- 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,409
- I'm gonna go get, uh,
- some dessert.
- 844
- 00:33:15,411 --> 00:33:17,376
- Get me two.
- 845
- 00:33:26,989 --> 00:33:29,556
- Hey, Angelica,
- it's a nice cape.
- 846
- 00:33:29,558 --> 00:33:31,325
- Oh, hey, Sam.
- 847
- 00:33:31,327 --> 00:33:33,559
- Thank you.
- 848
- 00:33:35,564 --> 00:33:37,831
- Um, yeah, it's a...
- it's a Galadriel cape
- 849
- 00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:39,966
- that I made a couple months ago
- for LordCon.
- 850
- 00:33:39,968 --> 00:33:41,634
- Figured I could wear it again.
- 851
- 00:33:41,636 --> 00:33:44,070
- Not too much overlap
- on the guest list.
- 852
- 00:33:44,072 --> 00:33:45,806
- Yeah.
- 853
- 00:33:45,808 --> 00:33:47,807
- Yeah, totally.
- 854
- 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:51,478
- Who'd you come here with?
- 855
- 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,579
- Um, just my friends.
- 856
- 00:33:53,581 --> 00:33:56,018
- Lauren and I broke up.
- 857
- 00:33:57,353 --> 00:33:58,485
- Oh.
- 858
- 00:33:58,487 --> 00:34:00,120
- No hard feelings, though.
- 859
- 00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:03,526
- Um, she's still
- a little confused.
- 860
- 00:34:04,926 --> 00:34:07,660
- How do you think one becomes...
- 861
- 00:34:07,662 --> 00:34:10,564
- not confused?
- 862
- 00:34:10,566 --> 00:34:14,000
- It's probably different
- for everyone.
- 863
- 00:34:14,002 --> 00:34:16,402
- But for me, when I kissed
- Brad Markowski,
- 864
- 00:34:16,404 --> 00:34:17,770
- I started to suspect it.
- 865
- 00:34:17,772 --> 00:34:19,406
- And then last year,
- when I touched
- 866
- 00:34:19,408 --> 00:34:22,576
- Dash Lowenstein's dick,
- I was like, "Fuck no."
- 867
- 00:34:22,578 --> 00:34:24,810
- It was like holding
- a dead snake.
- 868
- 00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:26,048
- Hmm.
- 869
- 00:34:28,417 --> 00:34:30,553
- But I guess you never know
- until you try.
- 870
- 00:34:39,394 --> 00:34:41,060
- Uh, before I do drink this,
- though,
- 871
- 00:34:41,062 --> 00:34:42,696
- I just want to let you know
- 872
- 00:34:42,698 --> 00:34:44,834
- that I am fully planning
- on having sex tonight.
- 873
- 00:34:46,468 --> 00:34:47,933
- With... with you.
- 874
- 00:34:47,935 --> 00:34:50,971
- Yeah, I-I mean,
- wherever the wind blows us.
- 875
- 00:34:50,973 --> 00:34:53,140
- Well, the wind's
- gonna blow us there.
- 876
- 00:34:53,142 --> 00:34:54,808
- Wherever the night takes us,
- it's...
- 877
- 00:34:54,810 --> 00:34:56,642
- It's gonna take your penis
- into my vagina.
- 878
- 00:34:56,644 --> 00:35:00,480
- Okay, uh, you know,
- if the universe wills it.
- 879
- 00:35:00,482 --> 00:35:02,585
- And the universe will will it.
- 880
- 00:35:04,486 --> 00:35:06,888
- Thanks for
- letting me know, I guess.
- 881
- 00:35:08,156 --> 00:35:09,689
- Oh, yeah.
- 882
- 00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:11,558
- - Oh, my God.
- - I warned you.
- 883
- 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,993
- - This is what gin tastes like?
- - No, no.
- 884
- 00:35:12,995 --> 00:35:14,593
- I've heard that gin sucks,
- and this sucks.
- 885
- 00:35:14,595 --> 00:35:15,629
- No, it's...
- 886
- 00:35:15,631 --> 00:35:18,665
- - I made it. Um...
- - Oh.
- 887
- 00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,767
- This is so dumb, okay?
- 888
- 00:35:20,769 --> 00:35:22,102
- Our kids are gonna hate us
- 889
- 00:35:22,104 --> 00:35:23,537
- because you're gonna
- humiliate them.
- 890
- 00:35:23,539 --> 00:35:25,439
- I'm not gonna humiliate Julie.
- 891
- 00:35:25,441 --> 00:35:27,207
- We're best friends.
- I'm the cool mom.
- 892
- 00:35:27,209 --> 00:35:29,109
- Hunter, don't make me sit
- on your balls again.
- 893
- 00:35:29,111 --> 00:35:31,444
- Stop, stop, stop it,
- stop, stop.
- 894
- 00:35:31,446 --> 00:35:34,180
- This is how they're gonna
- be remembered in high school.
- 895
- 00:35:34,182 --> 00:35:37,149
- As the weirdos whose parents
- dragged them out of prom
- 896
- 00:35:37,151 --> 00:35:38,884
- because they were afraid
- of their sexuality.
- 897
- 00:35:38,886 --> 00:35:40,453
- It's not something
- that should be feared.
- 898
- 00:35:40,455 --> 00:35:42,024
- It should be celebrated.
- 899
- 00:35:43,792 --> 00:35:46,091
- And-and-and we have
- to empower these young women.
- 900
- 00:35:46,093 --> 00:35:47,861
- I mean, what year is it, guys?
- 901
- 00:35:47,863 --> 00:35:50,196
- It's 2018.
- 902
- 00:35:50,198 --> 00:35:51,198
- Jesus Christ.
- 903
- 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,633
- - Oh, gross.
- - Okay, you know what?
- 904
- 00:35:53,635 --> 00:35:55,067
- That's an unfortunate
- coincidence.
- 905
- 00:35:55,069 --> 00:35:56,502
- Get a fucking room!
- 906
- 00:36:04,847 --> 00:36:06,779
- Let's take a picture.
- 907
- 00:36:06,781 --> 00:36:08,681
- Kayla!
- Let's take a picture right now.
- 908
- 00:36:08,683 --> 00:36:09,950
- - Okay, cool.
- - Right now. Right now.
- 909
- 00:36:09,952 --> 00:36:11,550
- Cheese.
- 910
- 00:36:11,553 --> 00:36:14,254
- Oh, my God, my mom called me
- like 15 times.
- 911
- 00:36:14,256 --> 00:36:15,921
- - Ooh. Nope.
- - She's crazy.
- 912
- 00:36:15,923 --> 00:36:17,223
- - No, that's a no.
- - That's kind of funny.
- 913
- 00:36:17,225 --> 00:36:19,792
- - Boom. Airplane mode.
- - No.
- 914
- 00:36:19,794 --> 00:36:22,162
- Yeah. We're flying
- the friendly skies now.
- 915
- 00:36:22,164 --> 00:36:23,696
- Yeah, till she freaks out.
- 916
- 00:36:23,698 --> 00:36:25,064
- Hey, can we please, like,
- get out of here?
- 917
- 00:36:25,066 --> 00:36:26,866
- No. We can't go right now.
- 918
- 00:36:26,868 --> 00:36:28,767
- They haven't even played
- me and Austin's song yet.
- 919
- 00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:30,236
- How are we gonna get
- in the mood?
- 920
- 00:36:30,238 --> 00:36:31,671
- I don't know,
- light your Walgreens candle.
- 921
- 00:36:31,673 --> 00:36:33,973
- That's later.
- Don't you want... Look, look.
- 922
- 00:36:33,975 --> 00:36:36,276
- Jake Donahue
- is just warming up.
- 923
- 00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:38,078
- Don't you want to see him
- break-dance
- 924
- 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,613
- - and probably hurt himself?
- - No.
- 925
- 00:36:39,615 --> 00:36:40,781
- - It's gonna be so good.
- - I don't.
- 926
- 00:36:40,783 --> 00:36:42,848
- Do you remember
- at the Sadie Hawkins Dance
- 927
- 00:36:42,850 --> 00:36:44,216
- when he tried to do the worm
- 928
- 00:36:44,218 --> 00:36:46,118
- and he fell
- and broke his two front teeth?
- 929
- 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,120
- - Yeah. He had to go to the hospital.
- - I have pictures.
- 930
- 00:36:48,122 --> 00:36:49,955
- - It was great, and this is gonna be better.
- - Mm...
- 931
- 00:36:49,957 --> 00:36:51,524
- - No, no, no. No!
- - So we're staying.
- 932
- 00:36:51,526 --> 00:36:53,259
- Julie, Julie,
- I promise that you're
- 933
- 00:36:53,261 --> 00:36:55,562
- gonna dance to your song
- with your boyfriend tonight.
- 934
- 00:36:55,564 --> 00:36:57,263
- This place is dying, okay?
- 935
- 00:36:57,265 --> 00:36:59,765
- - We got to get out of here.
- - Okay, fine.
- 936
- 00:36:59,767 --> 00:37:02,569
- Okay, cool. Let's go.
- 937
- 00:37:02,571 --> 00:37:04,303
- We're going to the lake house.
- 938
- 00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:06,805
- I am not sure that this
- was worth $85.
- 939
- 00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:08,841
- - Where's Chad?
- - What?
- 940
- 00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:10,877
- Oh, he's probably out
- on the dance floor.
- 941
- 00:37:10,879 --> 00:37:13,046
- I'm gonna go find him
- and meet you guys outside.
- 942
- 00:37:13,048 --> 00:37:15,015
- - All right.
- - Okay.
- 943
- 00:37:29,564 --> 00:37:30,932
- The fuck?
- 944
- 00:37:34,336 --> 00:37:36,870
- Smirking little piece of shit.
- 945
- 00:37:36,872 --> 00:37:38,837
- - Top knot. Top knot.
- - Let's get him.
- 946
- 00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:40,806
- Yeah, you guys go do that.
- 947
- 00:37:40,808 --> 00:37:42,875
- I'm gonna get some punch.
- 948
- 00:37:42,877 --> 00:37:45,678
- All right, asshole,
- what'd you do with my daughter?
- 949
- 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,613
- Two of you guys have
- the same shitty haircut?
- 950
- 00:37:47,615 --> 00:37:48,881
- Hey.
- 951
- 00:37:48,883 --> 00:37:51,216
- Look at me.
- My hair's too long.
- 952
- 00:37:51,218 --> 00:37:54,754
- Hey. You can't go around
- assaulting children.
- 953
- 00:37:54,756 --> 00:37:58,191
- You have to blend in if you
- want some information, okay?
- 954
- 00:37:58,193 --> 00:38:00,660
- So just... just be cool.
- 955
- 00:38:00,662 --> 00:38:02,328
- God.
- 956
- 00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:04,296
- Okay.
- 957
- 00:38:04,298 --> 00:38:05,634
- Julie?
- 958
- 00:38:06,801 --> 00:38:07,901
- Julie?
- 959
- 00:38:14,142 --> 00:38:16,176
- Prom night, huh?
- 960
- 00:38:16,178 --> 00:38:18,611
- What?
- 961
- 00:38:18,613 --> 00:38:21,948
- Just... just special night.
- 962
- 00:38:27,089 --> 00:38:28,824
- Got to try.
- 963
- 00:38:35,229 --> 00:38:36,765
- - Chad?
- - Yeah.
- 964
- 00:38:55,149 --> 00:38:57,350
- This is my moment.
- 965
- 00:39:13,834 --> 00:39:16,102
- You ruined my moment!
- 966
- 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,671
- Fuck your moment.
- 967
- 00:39:18,673 --> 00:39:19,939
- - What happened back there?
- - What happened is that...
- 968
- 00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:22,942
- is that my daughter was kissing
- Chad even though she hated it.
- 969
- 00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,377
- And I've been dragged
- into this situation
- 970
- 00:39:24,379 --> 00:39:26,745
- - by you two fucking idiots.
- - Just ignore him.
- 971
- 00:39:26,747 --> 00:39:28,147
- - Great idea.
- - We're gonna go to Austin's house.
- 972
- 00:39:28,149 --> 00:39:29,783
- Julie said that's where
- the after-party is,
- 973
- 00:39:29,785 --> 00:39:31,750
- - and we'll get 'em there.
- - And that sounds like a plan.
- 974
- 00:39:31,752 --> 00:39:33,085
- Hey, how dare you ignore me.
- 975
- 00:39:33,087 --> 00:39:34,854
- We are in this situation
- because you two
- 976
- 00:39:34,856 --> 00:39:36,922
- raised a couple of bigots
- who have shamed my daughter
- 977
- 00:39:36,924 --> 00:39:38,457
- into losing her virginity
- to the wrong sex.
- 978
- 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,459
- Shame.
- 979
- 00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:43,296
- My daughter is not a bigot.
- 980
- 00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:46,332
- We go to all of the marches.
- 981
- 00:39:46,334 --> 00:39:49,268
- We went to the Tax Day March,
- and nobody goes to that shit.
- 982
- 00:39:49,270 --> 00:39:51,171
- - Nobody.
- - Ignore him.
- 983
- 00:39:51,173 --> 00:39:52,305
- - It's hard.
- - Yeah, it is hard.
- 984
- 00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:53,473
- 'Cause I don't quit.
- 985
- 00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:55,174
- And now I have
- to go rescue Sam,
- 986
- 00:39:55,176 --> 00:39:57,009
- okay, because she is scared
- and confused,
- 987
- 00:39:57,011 --> 00:39:59,312
- and I know what it's like
- to be ostracized by society
- 988
- 00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:00,946
- for your sexual preferences.
- 989
- 00:40:00,948 --> 00:40:02,781
- Sleeping with women
- that aren't your wife
- 990
- 00:40:02,783 --> 00:40:04,451
- isn't a sexual preference.
- 991
- 00:40:04,453 --> 00:40:06,785
- No, it is. I prefer them.
- 992
- 00:40:06,787 --> 00:40:08,488
- How parents can let
- 993
- 00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:09,888
- their kids play music
- this loud.
- 994
- 00:40:09,890 --> 00:40:11,758
- We all share this planet.
- 995
- 00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,892
- This is how loud I listen
- to my music, dawg.
- 996
- 00:40:13,894 --> 00:40:15,495
- Probably won't even
- be able to hear us.
- 997
- 00:40:16,798 --> 00:40:18,864
- It's so dark in there.
- 998
- 00:40:18,866 --> 00:40:20,799
- You know, they... okay,
- they could be in the backyard
- 999
- 00:40:20,801 --> 00:40:21,901
- playing two-on-two hoops.
- I don't know.
- 1000
- 00:40:21,903 --> 00:40:22,901
- Oh!
- 1001
- 00:40:22,903 --> 00:40:24,471
- Oh, I found a big window.
- 1002
- 00:40:24,473 --> 00:40:26,772
- Oh, no, no, no,
- don't, don't, don't.
- 1003
- 00:40:26,774 --> 00:40:29,442
- Trust me. Do not look
- in that window.
- 1004
- 00:40:29,444 --> 00:40:31,076
- - What?
- - Just look at me. Do not look in this window.
- 1005
- 00:40:31,078 --> 00:40:32,438
- Do not look
- in this fucking window.
- 1006
- 00:40:34,048 --> 00:40:37,116
- Julie's red dress.
- 1007
- 00:40:37,118 --> 00:40:39,287
- - Yeah.
- - Oh, shit.
- 1008
- 00:40:42,057 --> 00:40:45,058
- You know, I know... I know this
- must be tough for you.
- 1009
- 00:40:45,060 --> 00:40:49,027
- I mean, if... hell, if that
- was Kayla in there, I'd...
- 1010
- 00:40:49,029 --> 00:40:51,330
- - I'd-I'd kill myself.
- - Nope.
- 1011
- 00:40:51,332 --> 00:40:53,366
- That's the wrong thing
- to fucking say right now.
- 1012
- 00:40:53,368 --> 00:40:55,502
- - Stop them. Stop it.
- - I can't...
- 1013
- 00:40:55,504 --> 00:40:56,504
- Wait.
- 1014
- 00:40:57,805 --> 00:40:59,839
- Hey. It's not Julie.
- 1015
- 00:40:59,841 --> 00:41:02,942
- - It's not Julie.
- - What?
- 1016
- 00:41:02,944 --> 00:41:04,910
- Oh, shit.
- It's Austin's parents.
- 1017
- 00:41:04,912 --> 00:41:06,412
- - Good for them.
- - They're really...
- 1018
- 00:41:06,414 --> 00:41:07,846
- really going at it.
- 1019
- 00:41:07,848 --> 00:41:08,848
- I always wanted to do this.
- 1020
- 00:41:08,850 --> 00:41:10,783
- I've always wanted
- to watch people have sex.
- 1021
- 00:41:10,785 --> 00:41:12,384
- Oh, my God,
- he's yanking her hair.
- 1022
- 00:41:12,386 --> 00:41:14,087
- Ow. That looks like it hurts.
- 1023
- 00:41:14,089 --> 00:41:16,256
- Yeah, we shouldn't
- be looking, man. Come on.
- 1024
- 00:41:16,258 --> 00:41:18,424
- She runs the risk
- of, like, dislocating her hip.
- 1025
- 00:41:18,426 --> 00:41:20,259
- Hey, Mitchell. You're being
- a fucking perv, dude.
- 1026
- 00:41:20,261 --> 00:41:21,960
- Don't look.
- 1027
- 00:41:28,002 --> 00:41:29,268
- What happened?
- 1028
- 00:41:29,270 --> 00:41:31,571
- We locked eyes,
- and then he finished.
- 1029
- 00:41:31,573 --> 00:41:34,073
- It means his load
- is on your soul for eternity.
- 1030
- 00:41:34,075 --> 00:41:36,075
- - Holy shit.
- - Oh, shit, he's coming.
- 1031
- 00:41:37,211 --> 00:41:38,980
- I'll pretend I'm a plant.
- 1032
- 00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:43,883
- Mitchell? What are you doing?
- 1033
- 00:41:43,885 --> 00:41:45,819
- - What, Lisa?
- - Hey, Ron.
- 1034
- 00:41:45,821 --> 00:41:47,553
- What are you guys
- doing out here?
- 1035
- 00:41:47,555 --> 00:41:48,888
- Hi.
- 1036
- 00:41:48,890 --> 00:41:51,156
- - Hey.
- - What a nice surprise.
- 1037
- 00:41:51,158 --> 00:41:52,424
- We thought the kids were here.
- 1038
- 00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:53,593
- We didn't realize you guys
- were here, uh...
- 1039
- 00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:55,861
- Oh, Cath and I were just having
- 1040
- 00:41:55,863 --> 00:41:57,497
- a little, uh,
- prom night role play.
- 1041
- 00:41:57,499 --> 00:42:00,133
- - You know, to keep the sex life alive.
- - Prom night.
- 1042
- 00:42:00,135 --> 00:42:01,267
- - That kind of thing.
- - Where are the kids?
- 1043
- 00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:02,234
- Um, do you know
- where the kids are?
- 1044
- 00:42:02,236 --> 00:42:05,404
- The kids are at
- Kyler Montero's lake house.
- 1045
- 00:42:05,406 --> 00:42:07,540
- - How do you know that?
- - Because Austin told us.
- 1046
- 00:42:07,542 --> 00:42:11,109
- Yeah. He's texted me
- like 19 times tonight.
- 1047
- 00:42:11,111 --> 00:42:13,613
- - Ugh. Oh, my God.
- - Yeah, we tell each other everything.
- 1048
- 00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:16,082
- - It's unbelievable.
- - I mean, he-he knows about prom night.
- 1049
- 00:42:16,084 --> 00:42:17,584
- - Well, you know.
- - I'm sorry, you...
- 1050
- 00:42:17,586 --> 00:42:20,252
- you tell your son about
- your sex games with your wife?
- 1051
- 00:42:20,254 --> 00:42:22,154
- - Uh-huh. Yeah.
- - Wow, that's...
- 1052
- 00:42:22,156 --> 00:42:24,022
- - Can't do that.
- - Yeah, it's weird.
- 1053
- 00:42:24,024 --> 00:42:25,591
- - It's so... it's-it's weird.
- - There's a line.
- 1054
- 00:42:25,593 --> 00:42:27,593
- - We have a very open family here.
- - Yes, we do.
- 1055
- 00:42:27,595 --> 00:42:29,328
- - We don't hide anything.
- - You know what?
- 1056
- 00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:30,562
- What is Kyler's address?
- 1057
- 00:42:30,564 --> 00:42:32,931
- I-I... Okay, listen,
- I-I feel like
- 1058
- 00:42:32,933 --> 00:42:35,435
- I can't betray
- Austin's confidence in me,
- 1059
- 00:42:35,437 --> 00:42:37,604
- and frankly,
- if Julie wanted to tell you
- 1060
- 00:42:37,606 --> 00:42:40,205
- where the house was,
- she would have told you.
- 1061
- 00:42:40,207 --> 00:42:41,406
- - Uh-uh.
- - Uh, I got...
- 1062
- 00:42:41,408 --> 00:42:42,508
- Hold on, hold on.
- Buh-buh-buh.
- 1063
- 00:42:42,510 --> 00:42:44,109
- Give us the address,
- 1064
- 00:42:44,111 --> 00:42:45,410
- or my giant friend's
- gonna tear
- 1065
- 00:42:45,412 --> 00:42:46,946
- - your husband's dick off.
- - Yeah.
- 1066
- 00:42:46,948 --> 00:42:48,513
- Uh... no, I'm not.
- 1067
- 00:42:48,515 --> 00:42:50,250
- - No, I'm not. No, no, no.
- - Excuse me? - What?
- 1068
- 00:42:50,252 --> 00:42:52,317
- That's... that's good.
- 1069
- 00:42:52,319 --> 00:42:54,453
- And, uh, sorry
- to interrupt your evening.
- 1070
- 00:42:54,455 --> 00:42:57,122
- I hope you guys enjoy
- the rest of your lovemaking.
- 1071
- 00:42:57,124 --> 00:42:58,124
- - Ow! Fuck!
- - Come on.
- 1072
- 00:42:58,126 --> 00:42:59,225
- - What was that about?
- - What?
- 1073
- 00:42:59,227 --> 00:43:00,926
- Hey, man, thank you for killing
- 1074
- 00:43:00,928 --> 00:43:02,462
- - my daughter's hymen.
- - I don't think so.
- 1075
- 00:43:02,464 --> 00:43:04,529
- Kyler Montero's lake house?
- Marcie did the bathroom.
- 1076
- 00:43:04,531 --> 00:43:07,066
- She's gonna know the address,
- so let's just go.
- 1077
- 00:43:07,068 --> 00:43:08,968
- - All right, dope.
- - Dope.
- 1078
- 00:43:10,472 --> 00:43:12,471
- - Ow, my eyes!
- - Yeah!
- 1079
- 00:43:12,473 --> 00:43:14,941
- Okay, come on in now.
- 1080
- 00:43:14,943 --> 00:43:17,209
- It's all fun and games
- until there's a decapitation.
- 1081
- 00:43:17,211 --> 00:43:19,578
- I don't need any more
- dead girls on my conscience.
- 1082
- 00:43:19,580 --> 00:43:21,381
- I'm sorry, Rudy.
- 1083
- 00:43:21,383 --> 00:43:24,317
- We just had to check that off
- the old prom bucket list.
- 1084
- 00:43:24,319 --> 00:43:26,352
- Oh, my God, Sam!
- 1085
- 00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:28,254
- - Come here. Yeah.
- - Move, Chad!
- 1086
- 00:43:28,256 --> 00:43:30,290
- - Chad, you want a drink?
- - No.
- 1087
- 00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:31,991
- What you got there?
- 1088
- 00:43:31,993 --> 00:43:34,192
- This is a very, very special
- 1089
- 00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:36,062
- reduced hash oil
- of my own invention.
- 1090
- 00:43:36,064 --> 00:43:38,330
- It has rosemary essence
- for blood flow,
- 1091
- 00:43:38,332 --> 00:43:39,933
- a curcumin extract
- from turmeric
- 1092
- 00:43:39,935 --> 00:43:41,366
- to reduce inflammation,
- 1093
- 00:43:41,368 --> 00:43:43,569
- and it gets you super baked.
- 1094
- 00:43:43,571 --> 00:43:45,638
- All right.
- 1095
- 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,372
- Let's do it.
- Do I just... I suck?
- 1096
- 00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:48,607
- Yeah, you press the button,
- 1097
- 00:43:48,609 --> 00:43:50,176
- then you take, like,
- a little puff.
- 1098
- 00:43:50,178 --> 00:43:52,377
- Or a really, really big one.
- 1099
- 00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:54,212
- Okay.
- 1100
- 00:43:54,214 --> 00:43:56,649
- And then you just hold it
- for, like, a beat.
- 1101
- 00:43:56,651 --> 00:43:58,283
- You guys know
- that Tanner Dunn's parents
- 1102
- 00:43:58,285 --> 00:43:59,651
- rented out a whole floor
- 1103
- 00:43:59,653 --> 00:44:01,654
- of the Park West Hotel
- for an after-party?
- 1104
- 00:44:01,656 --> 00:44:03,022
- What?
- 1105
- 00:44:03,024 --> 00:44:05,058
- Um... yeah, he, uh...
- 1106
- 00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:07,359
- I guess they're super loaded
- and they're still proud of him
- 1107
- 00:44:07,361 --> 00:44:09,495
- even though it took him
- like six years to graduate.
- 1108
- 00:44:09,497 --> 00:44:11,997
- I remember him.
- He got to, uh, miss school
- 1109
- 00:44:11,999 --> 00:44:14,067
- - when his kid was born.
- - Yeah, yeah, that guy.
- 1110
- 00:44:14,069 --> 00:44:16,005
- You should definitely
- let it go now.
- 1111
- 00:44:19,307 --> 00:44:20,640
- - Holy shit.
- - Oh, yeah.
- 1112
- 00:44:20,642 --> 00:44:22,408
- I can run a six-minute mile.
- 1113
- 00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:24,710
- My lung capacity is legit.
- 1114
- 00:44:24,712 --> 00:44:26,712
- - No!
- - One more selfie, and this time,
- 1115
- 00:44:26,714 --> 00:44:28,214
- let's pose like Kanye.
- 1116
- 00:44:28,216 --> 00:44:29,549
- - No. Boo!
- - Yes.
- 1117
- 00:44:29,552 --> 00:44:31,550
- - You take too many pictures.
- - Uh...
- 1118
- 00:44:31,553 --> 00:44:33,652
- They don't look like him.
- 1119
- 00:44:33,654 --> 00:44:36,555
- Ugh, it's just a bunch
- of paint samples and swatches.
- 1120
- 00:44:36,557 --> 00:44:38,457
- Hunter, quiet.
- 1121
- 00:44:38,459 --> 00:44:39,759
- Why do I have to be quiet?
- 1122
- 00:44:39,761 --> 00:44:41,593
- Shit would not fly
- if Marcie found out.
- 1123
- 00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:43,129
- Who wears the pants
- in this house, dawg?
- 1124
- 00:44:43,131 --> 00:44:45,230
- - I do.
- - Oh!
- 1125
- 00:44:48,136 --> 00:44:49,368
- Mmm.
- 1126
- 00:44:49,370 --> 00:44:51,303
- This is soy creamer?
- Are you sure?
- 1127
- 00:44:51,305 --> 00:44:53,305
- It's pretty freaking rich.
- 1128
- 00:44:53,307 --> 00:44:55,375
- This is so messed up.
- Who are you to get involved
- 1129
- 00:44:55,377 --> 00:44:57,343
- in our daughter's sex life?
- 1130
- 00:44:57,345 --> 00:44:59,511
- - Oh, honey, I was just try...
- - No, don't "honey" me.
- 1131
- 00:44:59,513 --> 00:45:02,180
- Did your dad try to stop you
- when you lost your virginity?
- 1132
- 00:45:02,182 --> 00:45:03,149
- That's totally different.
- 1133
- 00:45:03,151 --> 00:45:05,017
- It is not different.
- It's a double standard.
- 1134
- 00:45:05,019 --> 00:45:07,419
- Oh, when a guy loses his
- virginity, it-it's no big deal.
- 1135
- 00:45:07,421 --> 00:45:09,122
- It's celebrated,
- but if a girl does,
- 1136
- 00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:11,056
- it's some sort of big loss
- of innocence?
- 1137
- 00:45:11,058 --> 00:45:12,558
- - Yes.
- - But come on, you guys.
- 1138
- 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:13,759
- It's the same damn thing.
- 1139
- 00:45:13,761 --> 00:45:15,660
- Oh, Marcie!
- 1140
- 00:45:15,662 --> 00:45:17,629
- Stop talking.
- 1141
- 00:45:17,631 --> 00:45:20,767
- - Just give us the address.
- - Just give us the address.
- 1142
- 00:45:20,769 --> 00:45:24,102
- Honestly, Lisa, I can't believe
- you're on their side.
- 1143
- 00:45:24,104 --> 00:45:27,105
- Side? This is not
- some philosophical debate.
- 1144
- 00:45:27,107 --> 00:45:28,774
- We're trying to stop
- our daughters
- 1145
- 00:45:28,776 --> 00:45:31,777
- from some kind of sex pact
- that they've planned
- 1146
- 00:45:31,779 --> 00:45:33,812
- and not thought through
- all the way.
- 1147
- 00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:34,747
- That is such bullshit.
- 1148
- 00:45:34,749 --> 00:45:37,049
- How do you expect society
- to treat women
- 1149
- 00:45:37,051 --> 00:45:39,584
- as if they're equal
- when their own parents won't?
- 1150
- 00:45:39,586 --> 00:45:41,453
- I don't know about that.
- 1151
- 00:45:41,455 --> 00:45:43,221
- I'll deal with society
- tomorrow.
- 1152
- 00:45:43,223 --> 00:45:45,124
- Right now I'm thinking
- about my daughter.
- 1153
- 00:45:45,126 --> 00:45:46,192
- Well, that is...
- that's convenient.
- 1154
- 00:45:46,194 --> 00:45:47,392
- Yeah. You know what?
- 1155
- 00:45:47,394 --> 00:45:49,062
- Go ahead and be part
- of the group
- 1156
- 00:45:49,064 --> 00:45:50,395
- that perceives women as little
- 1157
- 00:45:50,397 --> 00:45:52,665
- damsels in distress
- that need saving.
- 1158
- 00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,600
- Who cares about us
- not getting paid as much
- 1159
- 00:45:54,602 --> 00:45:56,768
- or not having control
- of our own bodies?
- 1160
- 00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:58,437
- Can you please not talk to me
- 1161
- 00:45:58,439 --> 00:46:00,506
- like I'm someone
- who bombs abortion clinics?
- 1162
- 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:01,506
- I think
- we're a little off topic.
- 1163
- 00:46:01,508 --> 00:46:02,442
- Just... we need the address.
- 1164
- 00:46:02,444 --> 00:46:05,143
- I just can't believe
- that you think Julie
- 1165
- 00:46:05,145 --> 00:46:07,145
- shouldn't be free
- to explore her sexuality
- 1166
- 00:46:07,147 --> 00:46:09,147
- in the same way that boys are.
- 1167
- 00:46:09,149 --> 00:46:12,451
- Girls and boys
- are very different.
- 1168
- 00:46:12,453 --> 00:46:15,087
- Guys will take
- whatever's in front of them.
- 1169
- 00:46:15,089 --> 00:46:17,323
- We have these feelings,
- and then...
- 1170
- 00:46:17,325 --> 00:46:20,660
- your parents won't let you
- see the man.
- 1171
- 00:46:20,662 --> 00:46:23,763
- And then he just
- writes a lot of letters,
- 1172
- 00:46:23,765 --> 00:46:25,330
- but you don't get them
- 1173
- 00:46:25,332 --> 00:46:27,366
- because your mom
- doesn't give them to you,
- 1174
- 00:46:27,368 --> 00:46:29,768
- and then it starts raining
- really hard
- 1175
- 00:46:29,770 --> 00:46:32,138
- 'cause he built a house
- for you,
- 1176
- 00:46:32,140 --> 00:46:36,341
- and... and then it's...
- 1177
- 00:46:36,343 --> 00:46:38,544
- - Mitchell, did you get the address?
- - Yep.
- 1178
- 00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:39,779
- - What?
- - I'm really sorry. I'll call you tomorrow.
- 1179
- 00:46:39,781 --> 00:46:41,714
- - I'm just really stressed out.
- - It was so good to see you.
- 1180
- 00:46:41,716 --> 00:46:43,515
- Was that The Notebook?
- 1181
- 00:46:43,517 --> 00:46:46,352
- Fucking fuck off, Hunter.
- Goddamn it! Mitchell!
- 1182
- 00:46:46,354 --> 00:46:47,687
- I love you. I'm doing this
- for our daughter.
- 1183
- 00:46:47,689 --> 00:46:49,288
- - I'll be home late.
- - Fucking shit!
- 1184
- 00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:53,593
- To the loss of our innocence.
- 1185
- 00:46:58,633 --> 00:47:00,366
- Oh!
- 1186
- 00:47:00,368 --> 00:47:01,567
- - Come on.
- - Ooh!
- 1187
- 00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:02,868
- You guys.
- 1188
- 00:47:02,870 --> 00:47:04,370
- This is the best night.
- 1189
- 00:47:04,372 --> 00:47:07,506
- I am so drunk, super high,
- 1190
- 00:47:07,508 --> 00:47:09,741
- and Connor has a little
- something-something
- 1191
- 00:47:09,743 --> 00:47:12,477
- that I feel I need
- to go check out.
- 1192
- 00:47:12,479 --> 00:47:14,846
- All right.
- It's fuck o'clock.
- 1193
- 00:47:14,848 --> 00:47:16,617
- - No way. You, too?
- - Yep.
- 1194
- 00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:20,652
- - These are macarons.
- - Ooh.
- 1195
- 00:47:20,654 --> 00:47:22,622
- With a very special
- concoction of mine
- 1196
- 00:47:22,624 --> 00:47:24,524
- that I call Wavy Davy.
- 1197
- 00:47:24,526 --> 00:47:27,259
- So it's DMT that I get
- from the Dark Web.
- 1198
- 00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:29,227
- Uh, and then there's
- a little tiny bit of Xanax
- 1199
- 00:47:29,229 --> 00:47:31,230
- to just kind of take
- the edge off, you know.
- 1200
- 00:47:31,232 --> 00:47:32,230
- It's pretty tight.
- 1201
- 00:47:32,232 --> 00:47:33,832
- Mm, sounds pretty tight.
- 1202
- 00:47:33,834 --> 00:47:35,935
- And then I bake it into
- a white chocolate macaron,
- 1203
- 00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:37,569
- and it has, like,
- a raspberry filling
- 1204
- 00:47:37,571 --> 00:47:38,837
- that's both, uh,
- light and fluffy
- 1205
- 00:47:38,839 --> 00:47:41,274
- but also very flavorful
- and satisfying.
- 1206
- 00:47:41,276 --> 00:47:42,841
- Are you ready?
- 1207
- 00:47:42,843 --> 00:47:45,511
- - Uh, yeah. Yeah.
- - Yeah, let's do it.
- 1208
- 00:47:45,513 --> 00:47:46,645
- Okay.
- 1209
- 00:47:46,647 --> 00:47:48,182
- - Mmm.
- - Let's go.
- 1210
- 00:47:49,417 --> 00:47:50,616
- Hmm.
- 1211
- 00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:52,852
- It's yum.
- 1212
- 00:47:52,854 --> 00:47:54,323
- Hmm.
- 1213
- 00:47:58,593 --> 00:48:00,426
- Okay, so what do we do?
- We just walk in and-and flick
- 1214
- 00:48:00,428 --> 00:48:02,194
- - the lights on and off until the kids come?
- - Shh.
- 1215
- 00:48:02,196 --> 00:48:03,729
- Just act cool and young,
- and maybe we'll just slip in.
- 1216
- 00:48:03,731 --> 00:48:05,730
- Mitchell, untuck your shirt.
- 1217
- 00:48:05,732 --> 00:48:07,399
- No, it's not
- that kind of shirt.
- 1218
- 00:48:07,401 --> 00:48:08,634
- - It looks stupid untucked.
- - Untuck your shirt.
- 1219
- 00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:09,834
- You look like a youth minister.
- 1220
- 00:48:09,836 --> 00:48:10,935
- Untuck your fucking shirt, man.
- 1221
- 00:48:10,937 --> 00:48:12,605
- - We're trying to look cool.
- - All right.
- 1222
- 00:48:12,607 --> 00:48:13,906
- Whoa, whoa.
- 1223
- 00:48:13,908 --> 00:48:15,473
- Sorry, bro. Sorry, guys.
- 1224
- 00:48:15,475 --> 00:48:17,310
- Sorry. My friend's wasted.
- 1225
- 00:48:17,312 --> 00:48:19,245
- - Don't.
- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 1226
- 00:48:19,247 --> 00:48:21,513
- Hey, hey. No... no adults
- are getting into my house.
- 1227
- 00:48:21,515 --> 00:48:23,683
- Not on prom night.
- Okay, not on prom.
- 1228
- 00:48:23,685 --> 00:48:25,250
- We were just down the street
- 1229
- 00:48:25,252 --> 00:48:27,419
- at, um, another party,
- and then we just decided
- 1230
- 00:48:27,421 --> 00:48:29,455
- to come up here
- and hang with you guys.
- 1231
- 00:48:29,457 --> 00:48:31,457
- Um, no parents here, right?
- 1232
- 00:48:31,459 --> 00:48:32,658
- Oh, thank God.
- 1233
- 00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:33,725
- No, not except
- for you guys. No.
- 1234
- 00:48:33,727 --> 00:48:35,227
- We're not...
- 1235
- 00:48:35,229 --> 00:48:37,230
- - Yeah, no.
- - We don't...
- 1236
- 00:48:37,232 --> 00:48:38,232
- Okay, so you're cops.
- 1237
- 00:48:40,535 --> 00:48:43,636
- I got two DUIs last year.
- How could I be a cop?
- 1238
- 00:48:43,638 --> 00:48:44,870
- The police?
- 1239
- 00:48:44,872 --> 00:48:46,605
- Look at my untucked shirt.
- 1240
- 00:48:46,607 --> 00:48:48,473
- You're literally the cop-iest
- motherfucker I've ever seen.
- 1241
- 00:48:48,475 --> 00:48:51,546
- You look like you got your hair
- cut in the back of a squad car.
- 1242
- 00:48:52,879 --> 00:48:55,247
- This is a regular
- men's haircut.
- 1243
- 00:48:55,249 --> 00:48:56,716
- Okay, this is ridiculous.
- 1244
- 00:48:56,718 --> 00:48:58,317
- All right, you're minors,
- we're minors.
- 1245
- 00:48:58,319 --> 00:49:00,285
- You're like 45 years old.
- 1246
- 00:49:00,287 --> 00:49:01,953
- Fuck you.
- I was born in '77.
- 1247
- 00:49:01,955 --> 00:49:03,788
- '87. '94.
- 1248
- 00:49:03,790 --> 00:49:06,024
- We're gonna drink
- with you guys.
- 1249
- 00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:07,792
- Would cops drink
- with underage kids?
- 1250
- 00:49:07,794 --> 00:49:09,395
- - No.
- - No.
- 1251
- 00:49:09,397 --> 00:49:11,363
- Okay. What about a little
- chugging contest?
- 1252
- 00:49:11,365 --> 00:49:12,732
- Um...
- 1253
- 00:49:12,734 --> 00:49:14,366
- Yeah.
- 1254
- 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,370
- Bring it.
- 1255
- 00:49:16,504 --> 00:49:17,669
- Okay, wait.
- 1256
- 00:49:17,671 --> 00:49:18,937
- I got to get the room ready.
- 1257
- 00:49:22,944 --> 00:49:25,944
- Oh, wow.
- 1258
- 00:49:25,946 --> 00:49:27,413
- You're really going for it,
- aren't you?
- 1259
- 00:49:27,415 --> 00:49:28,913
- I saw this
- in the romantic comedy,
- 1260
- 00:49:28,915 --> 00:49:30,816
- American Beauty.
- So good.
- 1261
- 00:49:30,818 --> 00:49:33,585
- You watch the whole thing?
- 1262
- 00:49:37,792 --> 00:49:39,825
- You know what this candle
- does to me.
- 1263
- 00:49:39,827 --> 00:49:41,060
- Is that the one
- that gives you hives?
- 1264
- 00:49:41,062 --> 00:49:42,798
- - No, it's the good one.
- - Oh, nice.
- 1265
- 00:49:46,366 --> 00:49:48,403
- You look so hot right now.
- 1266
- 00:49:58,446 --> 00:50:00,680
- - Where are my chuggers at? You ready?
- - Yeah!
- 1267
- 00:50:00,682 --> 00:50:02,515
- - Oh, right here. Let's go.
- - Whoot, whoot!
- 1268
- 00:50:02,517 --> 00:50:04,015
- All right.
- 1269
- 00:50:04,017 --> 00:50:06,084
- - Cool.
- - Drop 'em.
- 1270
- 00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:07,255
- Let's do it.
- 1271
- 00:50:09,390 --> 00:50:10,422
- Wait, what?
- 1272
- 00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:11,556
- Guys?
- 1273
- 00:50:11,558 --> 00:50:12,758
- We're just chugging, right?
- 1274
- 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:13,859
- We're butt-chugging.
- 1275
- 00:50:13,861 --> 00:50:15,328
- Yeah, you put the tube
- up your butt,
- 1276
- 00:50:15,330 --> 00:50:16,629
- and you funnel the beer in.
- 1277
- 00:50:16,631 --> 00:50:18,531
- Fucks you up way more, man.
- Trust me.
- 1278
- 00:50:18,533 --> 00:50:20,499
- - Guys, butt-chugging?
- - You got this. You got it.
- 1279
- 00:50:20,501 --> 00:50:21,834
- No, I'm tagging out.
- You're in.
- 1280
- 00:50:21,836 --> 00:50:23,401
- - What? Why me?
- - You've had a baby.
- 1281
- 00:50:23,403 --> 00:50:24,602
- Everything's looser down there.
- 1282
- 00:50:24,604 --> 00:50:26,839
- I didn't have a baby
- out of my butt.
- 1283
- 00:50:26,841 --> 00:50:28,808
- - Even I know that.
- - Mitchell.
- 1284
- 00:50:28,810 --> 00:50:31,810
- Okay, this isn't
- a common occurrence with me,
- 1285
- 00:50:31,812 --> 00:50:34,779
- but I have had things
- up there before.
- 1286
- 00:50:34,781 --> 00:50:36,915
- - Hmm?
- - It's just all about breathing.
- 1287
- 00:50:36,917 --> 00:50:39,685
- So just breathe through it
- and accept it in.
- 1288
- 00:50:39,687 --> 00:50:41,821
- I can't do it. I can't do it.
- 1289
- 00:50:41,823 --> 00:50:44,089
- Hey! She's up there right now
- with that dick-bag Connor
- 1290
- 00:50:44,091 --> 00:50:45,725
- with his man bun
- and that stupid smirk.
- 1291
- 00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:46,962
- Think about this.
- 1292
- 00:50:48,696 --> 00:50:50,363
- W-Wait. Connor?
- 1293
- 00:50:50,365 --> 00:50:52,665
- You know... you know
- Connor Aldrich, "The Chef"?
- 1294
- 00:50:52,667 --> 00:50:54,734
- Why do they call him
- "The Chef"?
- 1295
- 00:50:54,736 --> 00:50:56,935
- Uh, maybe a big fan
- of South Park?
- 1296
- 00:50:56,937 --> 00:50:58,437
- "Hello, children."
- 1297
- 00:50:58,439 --> 00:51:00,573
- No, no.
- He cooks drugs into everything.
- 1298
- 00:51:00,575 --> 00:51:02,441
- Everything.
- Uh, one time he made me
- 1299
- 00:51:02,443 --> 00:51:04,776
- this, like,
- acid financier cake. Oh!
- 1300
- 00:51:04,778 --> 00:51:07,379
- That shit was to die for, man.
- 1301
- 00:51:07,381 --> 00:51:09,381
- Like, literally,
- I almost fucking died.
- 1302
- 00:51:09,383 --> 00:51:11,149
- Yeah, dude, if your daughter
- had anything like that cake,
- 1303
- 00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:12,872
- she might not remember
- who you are tomorrow.
- 1304
- 00:51:14,087 --> 00:51:16,455
- Give me the fucking tube.
- 1305
- 00:51:18,392 --> 00:51:19,692
- Let's bone.
- 1306
- 00:51:19,694 --> 00:51:20,993
- Wait, what? Oh.
- 1307
- 00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:23,632
- Are you sure that this
- is how you want to do it?
- 1308
- 00:51:25,098 --> 00:51:26,799
- Yes, Chad.
- 1309
- 00:51:26,801 --> 00:51:28,901
- This is always
- how I've imagined it.
- 1310
- 00:51:28,903 --> 00:51:31,470
- Oh, you know, I'd rather leave
- my shirt on, if that's sexier.
- 1311
- 00:51:31,472 --> 00:51:34,406
- I need another drink.
- 1312
- 00:51:34,408 --> 00:51:35,443
- Wait, wait, uh...
- 1313
- 00:51:37,611 --> 00:51:39,879
- Can you lube it up
- with something first?
- 1314
- 00:51:39,881 --> 00:51:41,446
- - Yeah, I'll just spit on it.
- - No!
- 1315
- 00:51:41,448 --> 00:51:43,649
- Why? Because I'm a man?
- Get over yourself.
- 1316
- 00:51:43,651 --> 00:51:45,484
- No, 'cause you're
- fucking gross,
- 1317
- 00:51:45,486 --> 00:51:46,951
- and your fucking
- saliva's gross.
- 1318
- 00:51:46,953 --> 00:51:48,620
- I have... I have lip gloss.
- I have lip gloss.
- 1319
- 00:51:48,622 --> 00:51:50,488
- - Got a lip gloss. We got a lip gloss.
- - Okay, fine. Shit.
- 1320
- 00:51:50,490 --> 00:51:51,589
- I don't have lip gloss.
- 1321
- 00:51:51,591 --> 00:51:53,192
- All right, guys, let's get those tubes in.
- 1322
- 00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:54,727
- All right,
- I got the lip gloss on there.
- 1323
- 00:51:54,729 --> 00:51:55,828
- - Okay.
- - Okay, okay.
- 1324
- 00:51:55,830 --> 00:51:57,529
- - All right.
- - Okay, ready?
- 1325
- 00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:59,165
- Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- 1326
- 00:51:59,167 --> 00:52:00,832
- - It's not in yet.
- - Okay. - Chill.
- 1327
- 00:52:00,834 --> 00:52:02,535
- So it's just gonna be
- on the count of three.
- 1328
- 00:52:02,537 --> 00:52:04,669
- You got this, dawg.
- This is for your kid.
- 1329
- 00:52:04,671 --> 00:52:06,439
- - On three. Okay. All right. Yeah.
- - On three.
- 1330
- 00:52:06,441 --> 00:52:07,672
- - Okay, one...
- - One...
- 1331
- 00:52:07,674 --> 00:52:10,810
- - Oh!
- - Are you okay?
- 1332
- 00:52:10,812 --> 00:52:12,710
- - Okay, get your 40s.
- - They got a lager and an IPA.
- 1333
- 00:52:12,712 --> 00:52:14,013
- Does it... Doesn't-doesn't...
- 1334
- 00:52:14,015 --> 00:52:15,547
- - It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
- - Okay.
- 1335
- 00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:16,848
- - I don't know about this.
- - No, no, no, no.
- 1336
- 00:52:16,850 --> 00:52:18,149
- - It's too late. It's already in.
- - Here you go.
- 1337
- 00:52:18,151 --> 00:52:19,517
- It's in you.
- It's part of you now.
- 1338
- 00:52:19,519 --> 00:52:21,053
- - Ready? Set...
- - Yeah.
- 1339
- 00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,922
- Chug...!
- 1340
- 00:52:23,924 --> 00:52:26,524
- Butt chug!
- Butt chug! Butt chug!
- 1341
- 00:52:26,526 --> 00:52:27,892
- Oh, wait.
- 1342
- 00:52:27,894 --> 00:52:29,462
- - Hey, hey.
- - Loosen up.
- 1343
- 00:52:29,464 --> 00:52:31,596
- - It's not working, dude.
- - I can't.
- 1344
- 00:52:31,598 --> 00:52:32,864
- - You can hold my hand.
- - Okay.
- 1345
- 00:52:32,866 --> 00:52:34,066
- Butt chug! Butt chug!
- 1346
- 00:52:34,068 --> 00:52:35,801
- - Ow!
- - You're hurting her.
- 1347
- 00:52:35,803 --> 00:52:37,069
- - That really hurt!
- - I'm sorry!
- 1348
- 00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:38,636
- Hey, man, listen.
- 1349
- 00:52:38,638 --> 00:52:40,906
- Channel that energy
- into your butthole.
- 1350
- 00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:41,973
- - Breathe.
- - This changes everything I know.
- 1351
- 00:52:41,975 --> 00:52:44,076
- Dude, if your daughter
- could see you now,
- 1352
- 00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:45,447
- she'd be so proud of you.
- 1353
- 00:52:46,814 --> 00:52:49,047
- Whoa.
- 1354
- 00:52:49,049 --> 00:52:52,817
- I am... I am tripping so hard.
- 1355
- 00:52:52,819 --> 00:52:54,587
- It's not working.
- It's not working, dude.
- 1356
- 00:52:54,589 --> 00:52:56,654
- - Oh, it's terrible. Oh.
- - It is.
- 1357
- 00:52:56,656 --> 00:52:57,857
- Butt chug! Butt chug!
- 1358
- 00:52:57,859 --> 00:52:59,792
- - Open up.
- - No, I'm sorry.
- 1359
- 00:52:59,794 --> 00:53:02,127
- - I-I can't do it, man.
- - Focus! For your daughter.
- 1360
- 00:53:02,129 --> 00:53:03,761
- Fuck, Mitch. Focus.
- 1361
- 00:53:03,763 --> 00:53:05,096
- - You gotta breathe.
- - You gotta open up, dude.
- 1362
- 00:53:05,098 --> 00:53:07,566
- - Relax.
- - I'm relaxed. I'm dilated.
- 1363
- 00:53:07,568 --> 00:53:10,035
- I'm staring at your asshole.
- You're not dilated.
- 1364
- 00:53:10,037 --> 00:53:13,605
- Mitchell, you're gonna
- lose to this punk bitch?
- 1365
- 00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:15,741
- Breathe. Take it in.
- 1366
- 00:53:15,743 --> 00:53:17,009
- Butt chug!
- 1367
- 00:53:18,712 --> 00:53:20,044
- There we go.
- 1368
- 00:53:20,046 --> 00:53:21,881
- - Okay, good.
- - Oh! Oh, it's working!
- 1369
- 00:53:21,883 --> 00:53:25,084
- - It's working! It's working!
- - Holy shit! Holy shit!
- 1370
- 00:53:25,086 --> 00:53:26,785
- We're almost halfway done.
- 1371
- 00:53:26,787 --> 00:53:29,087
- Po's! Fucking run!
- 1372
- 00:53:29,089 --> 00:53:30,589
- Cops?
- 1373
- 00:53:30,591 --> 00:53:32,661
- Oh, no!
- 1374
- 00:53:34,629 --> 00:53:37,062
- Ass beer! Oh, oh!
- 1375
- 00:53:37,064 --> 00:53:38,663
- Lisa, the beer went
- into my mouth!
- 1376
- 00:53:38,665 --> 00:53:40,265
- I have to go to the hospital!
- 1377
- 00:53:40,267 --> 00:53:42,868
- Hurry up! Get out of here!
- 1378
- 00:53:42,870 --> 00:53:44,136
- Shit.
- 1379
- 00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:46,038
- We got to go.
- 1380
- 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:48,239
- I got ass beer in my mouth.
- I should go to the hospital.
- 1381
- 00:53:48,241 --> 00:53:50,209
- Oh, shit. The fucking cops?
- 1382
- 00:53:50,211 --> 00:53:51,944
- - Fuck.
- - The fucking cops are here?
- 1383
- 00:53:51,946 --> 00:53:53,846
- - Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- - I can't get the tube out.
- 1384
- 00:53:53,848 --> 00:53:55,180
- - Pull the tube out.
- - Lis, pull it out.
- 1385
- 00:53:55,182 --> 00:53:57,116
- - No. I put it in.
- - I had to spit on it!
- 1386
- 00:53:57,118 --> 00:53:59,084
- - What? You spit on it?
- - No, it was my lip gloss.
- 1387
- 00:53:59,086 --> 00:54:00,785
- - It was lip gloss.
- - Pull it out!
- 1388
- 00:54:00,787 --> 00:54:02,321
- Hey, man, be gentle.
- Be fucking gentle, all right?
- 1389
- 00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:03,955
- I'm gonna be gentle,
- all right? Ready?
- 1390
- 00:54:03,957 --> 00:54:05,156
- - All right, on three.
- - On three.
- 1391
- 00:54:05,158 --> 00:54:06,625
- - One.
- - Ow!
- 1392
- 00:54:09,930 --> 00:54:11,564
- - Come on.
- - Whoo!
- 1393
- 00:54:11,566 --> 00:54:14,098
- Hey, guys. Guys.
- 1394
- 00:54:14,100 --> 00:54:15,301
- Wait, wait.
- 1395
- 00:54:15,303 --> 00:54:16,834
- Sam?
- 1396
- 00:54:16,836 --> 00:54:18,703
- Sam, Sam! We're over here.
- 1397
- 00:54:18,705 --> 00:54:20,906
- - No! No, I... No.
- - She's...
- 1398
- 00:54:20,908 --> 00:54:22,640
- - The night is over.
- - No.
- 1399
- 00:54:22,642 --> 00:54:24,910
- It's over. It's done.
- 1400
- 00:54:24,912 --> 00:54:26,879
- The night is not over.
- 1401
- 00:54:26,881 --> 00:54:28,881
- The night has just begun.
- 1402
- 00:54:32,285 --> 00:54:34,986
- Jesus, Chad, use your legs.
- 1403
- 00:54:34,988 --> 00:54:36,654
- I mean, I pretty much
- carried her,
- 1404
- 00:54:36,656 --> 00:54:37,825
- like, the whole way there.
- 1405
- 00:54:45,865 --> 00:54:48,736
- Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle!
- 1406
- 00:54:49,836 --> 00:54:51,002
- Come on, Sam.
- 1407
- 00:54:51,004 --> 00:54:52,370
- - Come with us.
- - I can't.
- 1408
- 00:54:52,372 --> 00:54:54,138
- My car is here.
- But all my friends
- 1409
- 00:54:54,140 --> 00:54:56,174
- are going to the hotel party.
- 1410
- 00:54:56,176 --> 00:54:57,611
- Maybe I'll see you later.
- 1411
- 00:55:02,616 --> 00:55:04,183
- Get in the car!
- Go, go, go, girl!
- 1412
- 00:55:04,185 --> 00:55:05,850
- - Sam! Seriously, hurry up!
- - You'll see her later.
- 1413
- 00:55:05,852 --> 00:55:07,285
- - You'll see her later.
- - What are you doing?
- 1414
- 00:55:07,287 --> 00:55:09,788
- Ooh, this night is not over,
- I swear to Christ!
- 1415
- 00:55:09,790 --> 00:55:11,323
- Dukes of Hazzard!
- 1416
- 00:55:12,959 --> 00:55:14,959
- Racist-ass show anyway.
- 1417
- 00:55:14,961 --> 00:55:17,196
- - I got the spins, man.
- - We got to find our daughter, dawg.
- 1418
- 00:55:17,198 --> 00:55:18,930
- - I'm gonna sit down for a second.
- - Rudy!
- 1419
- 00:55:18,932 --> 00:55:21,667
- - It's Rudy. Rudy.
- - Rudy, Rudy, wait, wait!
- 1420
- 00:55:21,669 --> 00:55:23,067
- There he goes, there he goes!
- Hit the clicker!
- 1421
- 00:55:23,069 --> 00:55:24,837
- - Open the doors!
- - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- 1422
- 00:55:24,839 --> 00:55:26,772
- - Okay, sit.
- - I got mine.
- 1423
- 00:55:26,774 --> 00:55:28,777
- Seat belts!
- You'll get a big ticket.
- 1424
- 00:55:31,946 --> 00:55:33,946
- - That's them right there.
- - They're getting away.
- 1425
- 00:55:33,948 --> 00:55:35,214
- - You gotta go faster. Hey.
- - Okay.
- 1426
- 00:55:35,216 --> 00:55:37,049
- Hey, you gotta be at 110%.
- 1427
- 00:55:37,051 --> 00:55:38,783
- - Okay.
- - You got to be in it to win it!
- 1428
- 00:55:38,785 --> 00:55:40,752
- How do you get more competitive
- when you're drunk?
- 1429
- 00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,921
- Hey, man. I'm more of a winner
- when I'm drunk, all right?
- 1430
- 00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:45,256
- - Okay, okay.
- - And the question I have
- 1431
- 00:55:45,258 --> 00:55:47,125
- for you, Lis:
- Are you a winner?
- 1432
- 00:55:47,127 --> 00:55:48,993
- Are you in it to win it?
- 1433
- 00:55:48,995 --> 00:55:51,062
- - Winning is my bitch!
- - All right.
- 1434
- 00:55:51,064 --> 00:55:52,330
- - Strong.
- - Knock, knock!
- 1435
- 00:55:52,332 --> 00:55:54,232
- - Who's there?
- - Me winning.
- 1436
- 00:55:57,370 --> 00:55:58,971
- It's not...
- 1437
- 00:55:58,973 --> 00:56:00,772
- It's not that good.
- 1438
- 00:56:02,176 --> 00:56:04,176
- I don't... Ow, ow!
- 1439
- 00:56:04,178 --> 00:56:05,843
- - Lisa winning!
- - It's not that good.
- 1440
- 00:56:05,845 --> 00:56:07,812
- Ow! Fuck!
- All right, it's good.
- 1441
- 00:56:07,814 --> 00:56:09,348
- It's fine. I like it.
- 1442
- 00:56:09,350 --> 00:56:10,630
- Hey, you're losing him.
- Let's go.
- 1443
- 00:56:13,187 --> 00:56:15,453
- Not on my watch.
- 1444
- 00:56:17,892 --> 00:56:20,158
- Oh, hey!
- - Whoa! - Ow!
- 1445
- 00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,694
- Y'all think you gonna outrun
- 1446
- 00:56:21,696 --> 00:56:23,027
- Rudy "The Main
- Motherfucking Man" Glover?
- 1447
- 00:56:23,029 --> 00:56:24,163
- Hell no.
- 1448
- 00:56:24,165 --> 00:56:25,997
- - Are you all right?
- - No!
- 1449
- 00:56:25,999 --> 00:56:27,165
- Come on.
- 1450
- 00:56:27,167 --> 00:56:28,966
- You okay?
- 1451
- 00:56:28,968 --> 00:56:31,102
- Hey, guys.
- 1452
- 00:56:31,104 --> 00:56:32,971
- Hey, I don't...
- 1453
- 00:56:32,973 --> 00:56:34,308
- I don't feel so...
- 1454
- 00:56:35,876 --> 00:56:38,176
- Oh, my God!
- 1455
- 00:56:38,178 --> 00:56:39,210
- Oh, my God!
- 1456
- 00:56:44,385 --> 00:56:46,484
- All right,
- here's what we're gonna do.
- 1457
- 00:56:46,486 --> 00:56:47,652
- Lisa, I have seen every single
- 1458
- 00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,855
- - Fast and the Furious movie, okay?
- - Mm-hmm.
- 1459
- 00:56:49,857 --> 00:56:51,756
- All of them, dozens of times.
- Have you seen any of them?
- 1460
- 00:56:51,758 --> 00:56:53,859
- I saw the Tokyo one,
- and I saw the one
- 1461
- 00:56:53,861 --> 00:56:55,127
- where The Rock
- punches the torpedo.
- 1462
- 00:56:55,129 --> 00:56:56,928
- Those are the best two to see.
- 1463
- 00:56:56,930 --> 00:57:00,165
- Okay, in times like this,
- I ask myself one question:
- 1464
- 00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:02,734
- "WWVDD?"
- You know what that means?
- 1465
- 00:57:02,736 --> 00:57:03,968
- "What would Vin Diesel do?"
- 1466
- 00:57:03,970 --> 00:57:05,504
- Holy shit!
- 1467
- 00:57:05,506 --> 00:57:07,347
- No one's ever fucking
- gotten that before. Okay.
- 1468
- 00:57:12,446 --> 00:57:14,049
- Oh, man, it smells like...
- 1469
- 00:57:15,281 --> 00:57:16,415
- What we're gonna do...
- 1470
- 00:57:16,417 --> 00:57:17,482
- we're gonna kiss the bumper.
- 1471
- 00:57:17,484 --> 00:57:18,350
- - You give it a little tap.
- - Okay.
- 1472
- 00:57:18,352 --> 00:57:19,984
- And then they're gonna
- spin and stop,
- 1473
- 00:57:19,986 --> 00:57:21,754
- and we're gonna spin
- and stop the other way.
- 1474
- 00:57:21,756 --> 00:57:23,355
- - Okay.
- - And we're gonna look at each other,
- 1475
- 00:57:23,357 --> 00:57:25,290
- and we're gonna go,
- "It's all about the family."
- 1476
- 00:57:25,292 --> 00:57:27,526
- Wait, I don't feel comfortable
- running the kids off the road.
- 1477
- 00:57:27,528 --> 00:57:30,129
- This slow and un-furious
- attitude is not helping us.
- 1478
- 00:57:30,131 --> 00:57:31,430
- You have to believe!
- 1479
- 00:57:31,432 --> 00:57:32,930
- Okay, I'm gonna kiss it.
- 1480
- 00:57:32,932 --> 00:57:34,301
- Here we go!
- 1481
- 00:57:35,903 --> 00:57:37,368
- What's that?
- 1482
- 00:57:37,370 --> 00:57:39,303
- - Did I do it?
- - No, you didn't even kiss it.
- 1483
- 00:57:39,305 --> 00:57:40,439
- - You gotta kiss it.
- - Shit. Okay.
- 1484
- 00:57:40,441 --> 00:57:42,841
- Kiss it for the family.
- 1485
- 00:57:42,843 --> 00:57:44,846
- - Is that Sam?
- - Is that Sam?
- 1486
- 00:57:46,814 --> 00:57:48,881
- - Oh! Oh, God!
- - She barfed on us!
- 1487
- 00:57:48,883 --> 00:57:50,448
- Oh, my God!
- 1488
- 00:58:01,428 --> 00:58:03,364
- Fuck.
- 1489
- 00:58:06,267 --> 00:58:07,966
- Okay.
- 1490
- 00:58:07,968 --> 00:58:09,868
- Are we in Heaven?
- 1491
- 00:58:09,870 --> 00:58:11,970
- Okay. Listen, I know
- how to do this.
- 1492
- 00:58:11,972 --> 00:58:14,205
- Everyone lean backwards.
- 1493
- 00:58:14,207 --> 00:58:16,207
- If we all lean backwards
- on three,
- 1494
- 00:58:16,209 --> 00:58:17,576
- the car will roll back.
- 1495
- 00:58:17,578 --> 00:58:18,877
- - Ready?
- - Okay.
- 1496
- 00:58:18,879 --> 00:58:20,245
- One...
- 1497
- 00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:22,080
- two... three.
- 1498
- 00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:26,250
- - Oh, fuck...!
- - No!
- 1499
- 00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:27,518
- - Oh!
- - Oh, no!
- 1500
- 00:58:32,827 --> 00:58:36,160
- Well, that's the last
- of the ass beer.
- 1501
- 00:58:36,162 --> 00:58:38,163
- Jesus! That's it. Are you okay?
- 1502
- 00:58:38,165 --> 00:58:41,332
- Are you bleeding? You might
- have internal blood injuries.
- 1503
- 00:58:41,334 --> 00:58:43,535
- - I'm all right, I'm all right.
- - Here's the problem.
- 1504
- 00:58:43,537 --> 00:58:46,038
- The Fast and the Furious
- movies are not realistic.
- 1505
- 00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:47,238
- Where are we?
- 1506
- 00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:48,540
- Shit!
- 1507
- 00:58:48,542 --> 00:58:49,908
- Fuck.
- 1508
- 00:58:52,111 --> 00:58:53,511
- What are you doing?
- 1509
- 00:58:53,513 --> 00:58:55,314
- I heard that in times
- of crisis, parents have
- 1510
- 00:58:55,316 --> 00:58:56,881
- - superhuman strength.
- - No offense... there's
- 1511
- 00:58:56,883 --> 00:58:58,584
- no scientific way you're gonna
- flip that car over.
- 1512
- 00:58:58,586 --> 00:59:00,585
- - I couldn't even do that.
- - I couldn't do it, either.
- 1513
- 00:59:00,587 --> 00:59:03,825
- Do not tell me what I can
- and can't do.
- 1514
- 00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:09,026
- Kayla's not answering again.
- 1515
- 00:59:09,028 --> 00:59:10,428
- - Goddamn it.
- - We lost 'em, guys.
- 1516
- 00:59:10,430 --> 00:59:11,897
- We are fucked!
- 1517
- 00:59:11,899 --> 00:59:13,401
- Or maybe not.
- 1518
- 00:59:16,002 --> 00:59:18,169
- What are you doing?
- 1519
- 00:59:18,171 --> 00:59:20,171
- Trying to telepathically
- communicate with Kayla.
- 1520
- 00:59:20,173 --> 00:59:21,573
- I'm with the X-Men of parents.
- 1521
- 00:59:21,575 --> 00:59:23,107
- You know what
- my secret power is?
- 1522
- 00:59:23,109 --> 00:59:24,642
- I'm super fucking annoyed
- right now,
- 1523
- 00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:26,480
- and I hurt my love handle.
- 1524
- 00:59:30,917 --> 00:59:32,084
- No, no.
- 1525
- 00:59:32,086 --> 00:59:33,550
- Hey.
- 1526
- 00:59:33,553 --> 00:59:35,988
- You guys think my new clothes
- go with my fedora?
- 1527
- 00:59:35,990 --> 00:59:37,522
- I'm just kidding.
- I know they do.
- 1528
- 00:59:43,263 --> 00:59:44,598
- Hey.
- 1529
- 00:59:46,633 --> 00:59:49,267
- - Have you talked to your mom?
- - No.
- 1530
- 00:59:49,269 --> 00:59:50,902
- So, my parents
- were just texting me,
- 1531
- 00:59:50,904 --> 00:59:52,203
- and they were having sex,
- 1532
- 00:59:52,205 --> 00:59:54,274
- and your mom showed up
- looking for you.
- 1533
- 00:59:55,408 --> 00:59:57,241
- Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
- 1534
- 00:59:57,243 --> 00:59:58,509
- It's... it's okay.
- 1535
- 00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,245
- They have sex all the time.
- 1536
- 01:00:00,247 --> 01:00:01,913
- Oh, my God.
- 1537
- 01:00:01,915 --> 01:00:03,547
- She... The texts.
- 1538
- 01:00:03,549 --> 01:00:05,317
- So many texts.
- 1539
- 01:00:05,319 --> 01:00:06,951
- She's mad.
- 1540
- 01:00:06,953 --> 01:00:09,254
- I need to handle this.
- 1541
- 01:00:09,256 --> 01:00:10,988
- Good news.
- A Lyft is on its way.
- 1542
- 01:00:10,990 --> 01:00:13,024
- Oh, wait, no, I know this guy.
- He sucks.
- 1543
- 01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,225
- Oh, shit. It's Julie.
- 1544
- 01:00:14,227 --> 01:00:16,328
- - Be-be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool.
- - Okay, be quiet.
- 1545
- 01:00:16,330 --> 01:00:18,663
- - Okay.
- - Hey, Mom.
- 1546
- 01:00:18,665 --> 01:00:20,399
- I just got all your texts,
- and I just want
- 1547
- 01:00:20,401 --> 01:00:21,667
- to let you know
- that we're all good.
- 1548
- 01:00:21,669 --> 01:00:23,000
- Cool, cool. Okay.
- 1549
- 01:00:23,002 --> 01:00:26,171
- Um, are you at the prom?
- 1550
- 01:00:26,173 --> 01:00:27,339
- Yeah.
- 1551
- 01:00:27,341 --> 01:00:29,707
- Yeah, just nonstop
- magical moments.
- 1552
- 01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:31,343
- Ha! You are lying to me.
- 1553
- 01:00:31,345 --> 01:00:33,044
- Where are you right now?
- Where are you?
- 1554
- 01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:34,212
- Why are you freaking out?
- 1555
- 01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:35,513
- I'm freaking out
- 1556
- 01:00:35,515 --> 01:00:37,549
- because I know
- what you're up to.
- 1557
- 01:00:37,552 --> 01:00:39,250
- And I know that you
- and your friends
- 1558
- 01:00:39,252 --> 01:00:42,721
- are planning some kind
- of little sex pact or whatever.
- 1559
- 01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:45,223
- - What did you say?
- - You heard me.
- 1560
- 01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:47,158
- How could you possibly know?
- 1561
- 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,729
- Because I am your mother
- and I know you.
- 1562
- 01:00:50,731 --> 01:00:53,631
- - And I know you better than you know yourself.
- - Yes.
- 1563
- 01:00:53,633 --> 01:00:58,203
- And I also know that you're
- planning on going to UCLA
- 1564
- 01:00:58,205 --> 01:01:00,372
- and that you're
- following Austin.
- 1565
- 01:01:00,374 --> 01:01:02,306
- Yeah.
- 1566
- 01:01:02,308 --> 01:01:06,414
- I... know... everything.
- 1567
- 01:01:07,647 --> 01:01:11,116
- Oh, my God, you know nothing.
- 1568
- 01:01:11,118 --> 01:01:13,752
- Why do you even assume
- that it's me following Austin?
- 1569
- 01:01:13,754 --> 01:01:17,355
- Huh? You're not worried
- about me, Mom.
- 1570
- 01:01:17,357 --> 01:01:18,622
- You're worried about you.
- 1571
- 01:01:18,624 --> 01:01:20,125
- You're afraid of losing me.
- 1572
- 01:01:20,127 --> 01:01:21,526
- You're afraid of being alone.
- 1573
- 01:01:21,528 --> 01:01:23,995
- I am not scared of being alone.
- 1574
- 01:01:25,365 --> 01:01:27,332
- This is not about me.
- 1575
- 01:01:27,334 --> 01:01:31,402
- I have not thought about myself
- for the last 18 years.
- 1576
- 01:01:31,404 --> 01:01:33,404
- This is about you.
- 1577
- 01:01:33,406 --> 01:01:37,142
- And as a single mother,
- I am trying to stop you
- 1578
- 01:01:37,144 --> 01:01:39,212
- from making
- a life-ruining decision.
- 1579
- 01:01:40,546 --> 01:01:43,247
- So I was a...
- a life-ruining decision?
- 1580
- 01:01:43,249 --> 01:01:46,051
- No. No, of cour...
- No, that is not what I meant.
- 1581
- 01:01:46,053 --> 01:01:48,285
- - No, that is not what I meant.
- - You know what, Mom?
- 1582
- 01:01:48,287 --> 01:01:51,323
- I'm not going to UCLA
- because of some boy, okay?
- 1583
- 01:01:51,325 --> 01:01:53,692
- I'm going to UCLA
- because it's the furthest
- 1584
- 01:01:53,694 --> 01:01:55,462
- I can get from you.
- 1585
- 01:01:57,131 --> 01:01:59,131
- W-Well...
- 1586
- 01:01:59,133 --> 01:02:01,600
- Hello?
- 1587
- 01:02:01,602 --> 01:02:04,569
- Nanaru is on his way.
- 1588
- 01:02:04,571 --> 01:02:06,207
- 46 minutes.
- 1589
- 01:02:07,807 --> 01:02:11,011
- Well, so she hates me.
- 1590
- 01:02:13,546 --> 01:02:15,513
- She doesn't hate you.
- 1591
- 01:02:15,515 --> 01:02:17,249
- Kayla's ignoring me.
- 1592
- 01:02:17,251 --> 01:02:19,517
- She's bringing it
- to a whole new level of spite.
- 1593
- 01:02:19,519 --> 01:02:21,152
- Yeah.
- 1594
- 01:02:21,154 --> 01:02:23,120
- It's a...
- that's a new level of pain.
- 1595
- 01:02:23,122 --> 01:02:25,089
- Yeah. I know, I know.
- 1596
- 01:02:25,091 --> 01:02:28,225
- It's just different for me,
- because I gave birth to her,
- 1597
- 01:02:28,227 --> 01:02:30,294
- and I just feel very connected.
- 1598
- 01:02:30,296 --> 01:02:32,263
- She was living in my body.
- 1599
- 01:02:32,265 --> 01:02:33,631
- - Kayla grew in me.
- - Yeah.
- 1600
- 01:02:33,633 --> 01:02:35,200
- She grew in me. She-she did.
- 1601
- 01:02:35,202 --> 01:02:37,835
- She grew from my balls,
- and I shot her into Marcie.
- 1602
- 01:02:37,837 --> 01:02:40,240
- This is the same
- for you and me.
- 1603
- 01:02:41,408 --> 01:02:42,707
- Not exactly.
- 1604
- 01:02:42,709 --> 01:02:46,143
- I mean, you have
- daily love in your life,
- 1605
- 01:02:46,145 --> 01:02:49,080
- and I'm probably gonna
- die alone
- 1606
- 01:02:49,082 --> 01:02:51,482
- and won't be found
- for a really long time.
- 1607
- 01:02:51,484 --> 01:02:54,419
- Until one day,
- someone will be walking by
- 1608
- 01:02:54,421 --> 01:02:55,754
- with their golden retriever,
- 1609
- 01:02:55,756 --> 01:02:57,656
- and the dog
- is just gonna lose its shit,
- 1610
- 01:02:57,658 --> 01:02:59,558
- and then they're gonna
- call the police,
- 1611
- 01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:03,562
- and then they're gonna come in
- and find me draped over the tub
- 1612
- 01:03:03,564 --> 01:03:07,232
- with my feral cats
- eating away at my hair.
- 1613
- 01:03:07,234 --> 01:03:08,732
- 'Cause cats do that.
- 1614
- 01:03:08,734 --> 01:03:10,401
- The fuck is wrong with you?
- 1615
- 01:03:10,403 --> 01:03:12,437
- That is some dark shit.
- 1616
- 01:03:12,439 --> 01:03:14,238
- - You're gonna die alone?
- - Oh, oh, oh, oh! My man!
- 1617
- 01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:15,806
- - My man!
- - Where the hell did you get that idea?
- 1618
- 01:03:15,808 --> 01:03:16,808
- - You know what?
- - Come on!
- 1619
- 01:03:16,810 --> 01:03:18,343
- I call you all the time.
- 1620
- 01:03:18,345 --> 01:03:20,111
- You ever return my calls? No.
- 1621
- 01:03:20,113 --> 01:03:21,812
- Because we're not
- really friends, you and me.
- 1622
- 01:03:21,814 --> 01:03:23,482
- We're not friends?
- 1623
- 01:03:23,484 --> 01:03:25,484
- I don't mean it, uh, that...
- I-I... you...
- 1624
- 01:03:25,486 --> 01:03:27,752
- You know what you are?
- 1625
- 01:03:27,754 --> 01:03:30,522
- You are like the thing
- that pops up on Facebook,
- 1626
- 01:03:30,524 --> 01:03:33,457
- and then it's, like,
- this beautiful picture
- 1627
- 01:03:33,459 --> 01:03:36,428
- of your grandma who's dead.
- 1628
- 01:03:36,430 --> 01:03:38,430
- And you're like,
- "Fuck you, Facebook,
- 1629
- 01:03:38,432 --> 01:03:40,297
- for reminding me of my loss."
- 1630
- 01:03:40,299 --> 01:03:41,399
- That's why you're avoiding me?
- 1631
- 01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:43,167
- Because I remind you of loss?
- 1632
- 01:03:43,169 --> 01:03:46,770
- Yes. I don't want to be
- reminded of sweet, young Julie
- 1633
- 01:03:46,772 --> 01:03:49,274
- and our kids
- and that beautiful time
- 1634
- 01:03:49,276 --> 01:03:50,908
- - in our lives is over.
- - Oh, God.
- 1635
- 01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:53,245
- Boo-fucking-hoo with you two.
- 1636
- 01:03:53,247 --> 01:03:55,446
- You guys completely ignore me.
- 1637
- 01:03:55,448 --> 01:03:57,482
- - Always.
- - Yeah, no shit, cheater.
- 1638
- 01:03:57,484 --> 01:03:58,917
- Oh, cheater? That's my...
- that's my designation?
- 1639
- 01:03:58,919 --> 01:04:00,685
- That's what I am?
- I'm the cheater?
- 1640
- 01:04:00,687 --> 01:04:02,453
- Fuck that shit.
- 1641
- 01:04:02,455 --> 01:04:04,823
- Did you guys ever once call me
- when that went down
- 1642
- 01:04:04,825 --> 01:04:06,790
- and ask me my side
- of the story?
- 1643
- 01:04:06,792 --> 01:04:08,627
- You didn't.
- 1644
- 01:04:08,629 --> 01:04:10,194
- I would have
- told you the truth.
- 1645
- 01:04:10,196 --> 01:04:11,897
- I would have told you
- that Brenda had stopped
- 1646
- 01:04:11,899 --> 01:04:13,531
- talking to me
- months before that happened.
- 1647
- 01:04:13,533 --> 01:04:15,500
- You know she hooked up
- with her boss
- 1648
- 01:04:15,502 --> 01:04:18,270
- at a company retreat
- in Wisconsin?
- 1649
- 01:04:18,272 --> 01:04:19,738
- Do you know she beat me up?
- 1650
- 01:04:19,740 --> 01:04:21,473
- She fucking beat me up
- 1651
- 01:04:21,475 --> 01:04:23,707
- at a Romano's
- fucking Macaroni Grill!
- 1652
- 01:04:23,709 --> 01:04:26,477
- She fucking slapped me in front
- of the fucking maitre d'!
- 1653
- 01:04:26,479 --> 01:04:27,678
- - I didn't know that.
- - I'm sorry, man.
- 1654
- 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:29,680
- And I fucking embarrass myself,
- 1655
- 01:04:29,682 --> 01:04:31,917
- and I embarrass myself
- in front of my daughter.
- 1656
- 01:04:31,919 --> 01:04:33,350
- And I-I-I thought, you know,
- 1657
- 01:04:33,352 --> 01:04:34,652
- I should pull back
- a little bit,
- 1658
- 01:04:34,654 --> 01:04:35,953
- and then fucking Frank
- showed up,
- 1659
- 01:04:35,955 --> 01:04:37,888
- and he... I pulled back more,
- 1660
- 01:04:37,890 --> 01:04:39,790
- and I thought,
- "One day I'm gonna fix it.
- 1661
- 01:04:39,792 --> 01:04:41,560
- One day I'm gonna
- fucking fix it."
- 1662
- 01:04:41,562 --> 01:04:43,460
- And then I thought,
- if I gave her
- 1663
- 01:04:43,462 --> 01:04:48,232
- something awesome,
- like a great night,
- 1664
- 01:04:48,234 --> 01:04:50,468
- I could get close
- with her again.
- 1665
- 01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:52,140
- But I can't.
- 1666
- 01:04:55,676 --> 01:04:57,509
- 'Cause she's gone.
- They're just...
- 1667
- 01:04:57,511 --> 01:04:59,511
- The kids, they...
- 1668
- 01:04:59,513 --> 01:05:00,879
- they just leave.
- 1669
- 01:05:00,881 --> 01:05:03,547
- Oh, shit!
- I know how we can find them.
- 1670
- 01:05:03,549 --> 01:05:04,915
- Go to Cathy and Ron's.
- 1671
- 01:05:04,917 --> 01:05:06,484
- Austin's been texting them
- all night.
- 1672
- 01:05:06,486 --> 01:05:08,553
- Did you hear anything
- I said just now?
- 1673
- 01:05:08,555 --> 01:05:10,254
- - That's a great idea.
- - Fuck it.
- 1674
- 01:05:10,256 --> 01:05:11,656
- It's just good
- to say it out loud.
- 1675
- 01:05:11,658 --> 01:05:13,828
- - Let's go flip that car.
- - Hell...
- 1676
- 01:05:14,928 --> 01:05:17,596
- Jesus Christ!
- 1677
- 01:05:17,598 --> 01:05:20,935
- Oh, my fucking God.
- 1678
- 01:05:22,336 --> 01:05:23,834
- Shit.
- 1679
- 01:05:23,836 --> 01:05:26,538
- My car just exploded.
- 1680
- 01:05:29,308 --> 01:05:31,709
- Nanaru is 26 minutes away.
- 1681
- 01:05:31,711 --> 01:05:33,245
- So that's good.
- 1682
- 01:05:33,247 --> 01:05:34,613
- I thought I canceled him.
- 1683
- 01:05:34,615 --> 01:05:35,980
- Thanks, Nanaru.
- 1684
- 01:05:35,982 --> 01:05:37,381
- So Austin's parents
- aren't gonna
- 1685
- 01:05:37,383 --> 01:05:38,683
- just tell us where they are.
- 1686
- 01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:40,752
- So we need to get Ron's phone,
- 1687
- 01:05:40,754 --> 01:05:43,020
- read the texts
- and find our kids.
- 1688
- 01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,355
- Okay?
- 1689
- 01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,258
- Hunter, it's not gonna be you.
- 1690
- 01:05:46,260 --> 01:05:47,725
- So, Mitchell, it's you.
- 1691
- 01:05:47,727 --> 01:05:49,560
- No. That's breaking
- and entering.
- 1692
- 01:05:49,562 --> 01:05:51,663
- That is...
- I'm uncomfortable with that.
- 1693
- 01:05:51,665 --> 01:05:53,497
- Are you a team player,
- or aren't you?
- 1694
- 01:05:53,499 --> 01:05:54,698
- Am I a team player?
- 1695
- 01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:55,966
- I just chugged a 40
- with my asshole.
- 1696
- 01:05:55,968 --> 01:05:57,002
- I'm a team player.
- 1697
- 01:05:57,004 --> 01:05:58,770
- Then get your head in the game.
- 1698
- 01:05:58,772 --> 01:06:01,372
- It's the bottom of the third,
- we are down by one,
- 1699
- 01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:03,610
- and there is not a lot
- of game left.
- 1700
- 01:06:04,944 --> 01:06:06,710
- There is a lot
- of game left, though.
- 1701
- 01:06:06,712 --> 01:06:08,712
- Listen. You have one pass left.
- 1702
- 01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:10,649
- One. One pass.
- 1703
- 01:06:10,651 --> 01:06:12,716
- - Is it rug... rugby?
- - You don't have a limit on passing.
- 1704
- 01:06:12,718 --> 01:06:13,785
- Is it Australian-rules
- football?
- 1705
- 01:06:13,787 --> 01:06:15,620
- And if it was the third,
- I would have the fourth...
- 1706
- 01:06:15,622 --> 01:06:16,921
- You know what? You know
- what's happening right now?
- 1707
- 01:06:16,923 --> 01:06:18,689
- Let me tell you what's
- happening right now.
- 1708
- 01:06:18,691 --> 01:06:20,825
- Is Kayla and Connor
- are sliding into bed.
- 1709
- 01:06:20,827 --> 01:06:22,459
- He's grabbing a condom,
- 1710
- 01:06:22,461 --> 01:06:24,596
- and then he's flicking it
- to the side
- 1711
- 01:06:24,598 --> 01:06:26,531
- with a smirk on his face.
- 1712
- 01:06:26,533 --> 01:06:29,600
- That fucking smirk. No way.
- 1713
- 01:06:29,602 --> 01:06:30,935
- We need a Hail Mary pass.
- 1714
- 01:06:30,937 --> 01:06:32,569
- Are you up for that, son?
- 1715
- 01:06:32,571 --> 01:06:34,038
- - Yes, Coach.
- - Well, I can't hear you.
- 1716
- 01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:35,707
- - Yes, Coach. I'm in it.
- - I can't hear you!
- 1717
- 01:06:35,709 --> 01:06:37,008
- I can fucking do this!
- Let's go!
- 1718
- 01:06:37,010 --> 01:06:38,446
- Okay, we gotta...
- we gotta be quiet.
- 1719
- 01:06:43,082 --> 01:06:44,785
- Careful.
- 1720
- 01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:51,790
- All right, go.
- 1721
- 01:06:51,792 --> 01:06:53,394
- Go.
- 1722
- 01:07:19,352 --> 01:07:20,873
- Did you...? Look at that.
- 1723
- 01:07:28,627 --> 01:07:29,861
- Go out that way.
- 1724
- 01:07:29,863 --> 01:07:30,995
- There's a person.
- There's a person.
- 1725
- 01:07:30,997 --> 01:07:32,566
- What? Fuck you.
- 1726
- 01:07:34,066 --> 01:07:35,702
- Jesus Christ.
- 1727
- 01:07:48,482 --> 01:07:51,750
- I'm gonna get you.
- 1728
- 01:07:51,752 --> 01:07:55,486
- Not if I get you first.
- 1729
- 01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:03,995
- No, no. Get away from here.
- 1730
- 01:08:03,997 --> 01:08:06,433
- - I'm fucking out.
- - Mitchell, in. - Get in.
- 1731
- 01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:10,801
- - Cath?
- - Ron, no talking.
- 1732
- 01:08:10,803 --> 01:08:13,605
- Come on, we had a deal.
- We have to find each other
- 1733
- 01:08:13,607 --> 01:08:15,607
- by sensing each other's musks.
- 1734
- 01:08:15,609 --> 01:08:17,008
- Can't use our voices.
- 1735
- 01:08:35,428 --> 01:08:37,795
- Here, kitty, kitty.
- 1736
- 01:08:37,797 --> 01:08:39,029
- I can smell that musk.
- 1737
- 01:08:46,006 --> 01:08:48,505
- Oh. Yeah.
- 1738
- 01:08:48,507 --> 01:08:51,041
- Yeah, yeah, I like the sound of that.
- 1739
- 01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:52,943
- Oh!
- 1740
- 01:08:52,945 --> 01:08:54,879
- Oh! Hey.
- 1741
- 01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:57,614
- You want to touch first,
- that works for Ronnie.
- 1742
- 01:08:57,616 --> 01:08:58,916
- You want me to touch you?
- 1743
- 01:08:58,918 --> 01:09:00,218
- - Help yourself.
- - You want me to touch you?
- 1744
- 01:09:00,220 --> 01:09:02,519
- - Yes.
- - I'm gonna touch you hard.
- 1745
- 01:09:02,521 --> 01:09:05,523
- - Do it. Do it.
- - How about I touch you with my nails, baby?
- 1746
- 01:09:05,525 --> 01:09:07,724
- - Let's have it.
- - Oh, oh, yeah.
- 1747
- 01:09:07,726 --> 01:09:09,461
- - Oh, wow.
- - Your hair is so sexy, babe.
- 1748
- 01:09:09,463 --> 01:09:10,761
- Your grip is unbelievable.
- 1749
- 01:09:10,763 --> 01:09:12,563
- I want you to touch me
- 1750
- 01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:13,864
- where I like.
- 1751
- 01:09:13,866 --> 01:09:15,733
- My balls, you know?
- 1752
- 01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:18,536
- Oh, you'd like me
- to touch your balls.
- 1753
- 01:09:18,538 --> 01:09:20,804
- You want me to touch
- your balls, do you?
- 1754
- 01:09:20,806 --> 01:09:22,907
- - Yes, I do.
- - How badly do you
- 1755
- 01:09:22,909 --> 01:09:24,509
- want me to tug at your balls?
- 1756
- 01:09:24,511 --> 01:09:26,810
- I want you
- to rip them off my body.
- 1757
- 01:09:26,812 --> 01:09:28,846
- - That's what I want.
- - Mm, I don't really believe you.
- 1758
- 01:09:28,848 --> 01:09:30,547
- I don't believe
- you want it bad enough.
- 1759
- 01:09:30,549 --> 01:09:31,983
- I want it bad. Do it. Come on.
- 1760
- 01:09:31,985 --> 01:09:33,917
- - Really? How bad?
- - I want it so bad that my balls
- 1761
- 01:09:33,919 --> 01:09:35,586
- - are going to explode.
- - Ooh, are they gonna explode
- 1762
- 01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:37,721
- into a million little pieces?
- 1763
- 01:09:37,723 --> 01:09:39,122
- Well, let me tell you
- something, darling.
- 1764
- 01:09:39,124 --> 01:09:40,224
- It is your lucky day.
- 1765
- 01:09:40,226 --> 01:09:41,626
- Because it's Christmas for you.
- 1766
- 01:09:41,628 --> 01:09:42,827
- Let's go.
- 1767
- 01:09:42,829 --> 01:09:44,562
- Come on. Come on, do it.
- 1768
- 01:09:44,564 --> 01:09:46,663
- - You there?
- - What, this isn't hard enough?
- 1769
- 01:09:46,665 --> 01:09:48,066
- - Let's go. Come on.
- - Harder?
- 1770
- 01:09:48,068 --> 01:09:49,666
- Come on, do it, do it.
- 1771
- 01:09:49,668 --> 01:09:51,669
- - I'm waiting.
- - Okeydokey.
- 1772
- 01:09:51,671 --> 01:09:54,538
- Oh, yeah, you like that?
- 1773
- 01:09:54,540 --> 01:09:56,707
- Hey, man, I don't judge
- people's sex shit.
- 1774
- 01:09:56,709 --> 01:09:58,576
- That was ridiculous and stupid.
- 1775
- 01:09:58,578 --> 01:10:00,010
- Way to take one
- for the team, guys.
- 1776
- 01:10:00,012 --> 01:10:01,679
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
- Here it is.
- 1777
- 01:10:01,681 --> 01:10:03,547
- "The police came
- to the lake house.
- 1778
- 01:10:03,549 --> 01:10:05,649
- Almost lost my flower
- but didn't quite work out."
- 1779
- 01:10:05,651 --> 01:10:07,785
- - Flower? - Flower?
- - He said that? He's a boy.
- 1780
- 01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:08,853
- Hub-uh-uh, hub-uh-uh...
- 1781
- 01:10:08,855 --> 01:10:10,522
- "Heading
- to the Park West Hotel.
- 1782
- 01:10:10,524 --> 01:10:12,023
- - We've got the Grand Lux Suite."
- - Suite?
- 1783
- 01:10:12,025 --> 01:10:13,925
- "Looks like the little boy
- is becoming a man."
- 1784
- 01:10:13,927 --> 01:10:15,093
- Fucking dork.
- 1785
- 01:10:15,095 --> 01:10:16,627
- Okay, so that was
- ten minutes ago.
- 1786
- 01:10:16,629 --> 01:10:17,795
- So they haven't had sex yet.
- 1787
- 01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:18,929
- We can still catch 'em.
- 1788
- 01:10:18,931 --> 01:10:20,797
- Okay, let's do this.
- 1789
- 01:11:05,645 --> 01:11:06,877
- Hey.
- 1790
- 01:11:06,879 --> 01:11:08,179
- - Hey.
- - Hey.
- 1791
- 01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:10,214
- How's she doing?
- Is she okay?
- 1792
- 01:11:10,216 --> 01:11:12,050
- No, she's not doing okay.
- She's bummed.
- 1793
- 01:11:12,052 --> 01:11:14,588
- She doesn't even want to kiss.
- And I love kissing.
- 1794
- 01:11:16,256 --> 01:11:17,822
- Give me your room key.
- 1795
- 01:11:17,824 --> 01:11:19,223
- - What? Why?
- - Yeah.
- 1796
- 01:11:19,225 --> 01:11:21,259
- Give me your room key,
- and then bring her up
- 1797
- 01:11:21,261 --> 01:11:22,863
- in like 15 minutes.
- 1798
- 01:11:23,997 --> 01:11:25,596
- - Okay.
- - Yes.
- 1799
- 01:11:25,598 --> 01:11:26,764
- Thanks. You're the man.
- 1800
- 01:11:26,766 --> 01:11:28,366
- Thank you for this.
- 1801
- 01:11:34,740 --> 01:11:36,206
- How we supposed to find them
- in this place?
- 1802
- 01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:37,908
- It's got like 20 rooms.
- 1803
- 01:11:37,910 --> 01:11:39,309
- I'm sorry, what the fuck
- 1804
- 01:11:39,311 --> 01:11:40,877
- are you talking about?
- 1805
- 01:11:40,879 --> 01:11:42,880
- 20? It's got like 200.
- 1806
- 01:11:42,882 --> 01:11:44,148
- What? 20?
- 1807
- 01:11:44,150 --> 01:11:46,184
- Grand Lux Suite
- is on the top floor.
- 1808
- 01:11:46,186 --> 01:11:47,618
- Go, go, go, go.
- 1809
- 01:11:47,620 --> 01:11:49,252
- Move. Hurry, Lisa!
- 1810
- 01:12:51,316 --> 01:12:53,319
- What am I doing here?
- 1811
- 01:13:12,172 --> 01:13:13,904
- Oh, my God.
- 1812
- 01:13:13,906 --> 01:13:16,040
- Oh, my God, my favorite.
- 1813
- 01:13:16,042 --> 01:13:17,841
- That's so sweet.
- 1814
- 01:13:17,843 --> 01:13:19,242
- Oh, my God.
- 1815
- 01:13:19,244 --> 01:13:20,844
- This is a dream.
- 1816
- 01:13:20,846 --> 01:13:22,145
- It's, like, perfect.
- 1817
- 01:13:22,147 --> 01:13:23,715
- That is... It's so nice.
- 1818
- 01:13:23,717 --> 01:13:24,849
- You're so sweet.
- 1819
- 01:13:24,851 --> 01:13:26,850
- It actually wasn't me.
- 1820
- 01:13:26,852 --> 01:13:28,051
- It was Kayla.
- 1821
- 01:13:28,053 --> 01:13:29,786
- She wanted you
- to have the perfect night.
- 1822
- 01:13:29,788 --> 01:13:31,022
- That's why it looks so good.
- 1823
- 01:13:31,024 --> 01:13:33,758
- Well, why do you look so good?
- 1824
- 01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:35,492
- You're such a dork.
- 1825
- 01:13:35,494 --> 01:13:37,196
- I-I know.
- 1826
- 01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:41,702
- Oh, my God.
- 1827
- 01:13:45,872 --> 01:13:48,042
- Not as smooth as I could.
- 1828
- 01:13:51,511 --> 01:13:53,478
- Let me get my shoes.
- 1829
- 01:13:57,784 --> 01:13:58,819
- Kayla?
- 1830
- 01:14:05,091 --> 01:14:06,758
- Nobody move. Where's Kayla?
- 1831
- 01:14:06,760 --> 01:14:08,796
- Kayla? Kayla?
- 1832
- 01:14:09,928 --> 01:14:11,429
- Get that out of here.
- 1833
- 01:14:11,431 --> 01:14:12,964
- Now, how's this work?
- Is this...?
- 1834
- 01:14:12,966 --> 01:14:14,165
- - No, just leave it.
- - Okay, cool.
- 1835
- 01:14:14,167 --> 01:14:15,207
- - It's difficult.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 1836
- 01:14:18,370 --> 01:14:20,138
- Play sports.
- 1837
- 01:14:20,140 --> 01:14:22,105
- Mwah. Mwah.
- 1838
- 01:14:22,107 --> 01:14:24,908
- Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
- 1839
- 01:14:24,910 --> 01:14:26,277
- Mwah.
- 1840
- 01:14:26,279 --> 01:14:27,944
- And that's that.
- 1841
- 01:14:27,946 --> 01:14:31,114
- So, you, uh,
- sure you want to do this?
- 1842
- 01:14:31,116 --> 01:14:32,149
- Yeah.
- 1843
- 01:14:32,151 --> 01:14:33,917
- Yes. Fuck yeah.
- 1844
- 01:14:33,919 --> 01:14:35,920
- You're gonna...
- you're gonna penis me.
- 1845
- 01:14:35,922 --> 01:14:38,255
- - Yep.
- - First, I'm gonna...
- 1846
- 01:14:38,257 --> 01:14:40,056
- I'm just gonna touch it.
- 1847
- 01:14:40,058 --> 01:14:41,559
- - You want to touch it? Yeah, you can touch it.
- - Yeah.
- 1848
- 01:14:41,561 --> 01:14:43,426
- - Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah.
- - Okay, just, like...
- 1849
- 01:14:43,428 --> 01:14:45,429
- Oh! Wow!
- 1850
- 01:14:45,431 --> 01:14:47,398
- Okay. That is, like,
- the greatest feeling
- 1851
- 01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,800
- I've ever had
- in my entire life.
- 1852
- 01:14:49,802 --> 01:14:51,868
- Really?
- 1853
- 01:14:51,870 --> 01:14:54,938
- It doesn't just feel like
- a super dry hand of a friend?
- 1854
- 01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:56,943
- No. Nope.
- 1855
- 01:14:58,043 --> 01:14:59,943
- Okay, so...
- 1856
- 01:14:59,945 --> 01:15:03,080
- do you want to, um...
- 1857
- 01:15:03,082 --> 01:15:04,383
- put it in?
- 1858
- 01:15:07,820 --> 01:15:08,986
- No.
- 1859
- 01:15:08,988 --> 01:15:10,353
- Okay.
- 1860
- 01:15:10,355 --> 01:15:12,055
- - I can't. I'm sorry.
- - You know what?
- 1861
- 01:15:12,057 --> 01:15:14,591
- Look, we don't ha...
- 1862
- 01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,327
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
- 1863
- 01:15:16,329 --> 01:15:18,228
- - Holy shit!
- - Right there. Look at all of it.
- 1864
- 01:15:18,230 --> 01:15:20,096
- Oh, my gosh! I gotta get over.
- 1865
- 01:15:20,098 --> 01:15:22,200
- Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 1866
- 01:15:22,202 --> 01:15:24,068
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 1867
- 01:15:24,070 --> 01:15:26,603
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry. I just...
- 1868
- 01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:28,840
- - It's okay.
- - I was thinking about it and you,
- 1869
- 01:15:28,842 --> 01:15:30,875
- and then it just... I'm sorry.
- 1870
- 01:15:32,311 --> 01:15:34,178
- My God.
- 1871
- 01:15:34,180 --> 01:15:35,846
- You're amazing.
- 1872
- 01:15:35,848 --> 01:15:37,881
- I know we're still virgins,
- 1873
- 01:15:37,883 --> 01:15:40,417
- but I feel different, you know?
- 1874
- 01:15:40,419 --> 01:15:42,953
- Yeah.
- 1875
- 01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,391
- I know.
- 1876
- 01:15:47,159 --> 01:15:50,027
- You ready to, uh, do this?
- 1877
- 01:15:50,029 --> 01:15:52,129
- Wait.
- 1878
- 01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:54,999
- Wait. Um...
- 1879
- 01:15:55,001 --> 01:15:57,335
- Ah, shit.
- 1880
- 01:15:57,337 --> 01:15:59,006
- Shit.
- 1881
- 01:16:00,973 --> 01:16:03,206
- Maybe Julie was right.
- 1882
- 01:16:03,208 --> 01:16:05,910
- Like, maybe losing
- your virginity
- 1883
- 01:16:05,912 --> 01:16:08,144
- doesn't have to be perfect,
- but...
- 1884
- 01:16:08,146 --> 01:16:09,947
- I feel like it should
- just be, like,
- 1885
- 01:16:09,949 --> 01:16:12,116
- a little bit more special
- than this, you know?
- 1886
- 01:16:12,118 --> 01:16:13,651
- - Yeah.
- - Like, not cheesy, but...
- 1887
- 01:16:13,653 --> 01:16:16,153
- Like, if I was hard-pressed
- right now,
- 1888
- 01:16:16,155 --> 01:16:18,989
- I don't think I could remember
- your last name.
- 1889
- 01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:19,991
- - It's Aldrich.
- - Aldrich.
- 1890
- 01:16:19,993 --> 01:16:22,059
- I thought it was Ostrich.
- 1891
- 01:16:22,061 --> 01:16:24,327
- I-I didn't realize
- that you're a virgin.
- 1892
- 01:16:24,329 --> 01:16:26,496
- - You know?
- - Yeah.
- 1893
- 01:16:26,498 --> 01:16:30,334
- Um, but, like,
- I'd still be down to do it,
- 1894
- 01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:32,135
- but maybe, like, you know,
- 1895
- 01:16:32,137 --> 01:16:34,205
- when we get to know each other
- a little more.
- 1896
- 01:16:34,207 --> 01:16:36,006
- Like, maybe Monday
- or something?
- 1897
- 01:16:36,008 --> 01:16:38,442
- - Yeah.
- - Not to, like, plan it and be weird, but, like...
- 1898
- 01:16:38,444 --> 01:16:40,243
- No, no, I can look
- at my schedule
- 1899
- 01:16:40,245 --> 01:16:41,912
- - and see if it's...
- - Okay.
- 1900
- 01:16:41,914 --> 01:16:43,346
- Pencil it in.
- 1901
- 01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:45,349
- Um, yeah, that's cool.
- 1902
- 01:16:45,351 --> 01:16:47,151
- - Okay, cool.
- - Um, let's just relax.
- 1903
- 01:16:47,153 --> 01:16:49,286
- We could do, like, some
- light journaling or something.
- 1904
- 01:16:49,288 --> 01:16:52,290
- Yeah, yeah, we could...
- we could do that.
- 1905
- 01:16:52,292 --> 01:16:57,260
- Or we could do,
- like, other stuff.
- 1906
- 01:16:57,262 --> 01:16:59,263
- Yeah? Like what?
- 1907
- 01:16:59,265 --> 01:17:01,431
- Like...
- 1908
- 01:17:01,433 --> 01:17:04,568
- not sex, but...
- 1909
- 01:17:04,570 --> 01:17:08,339
- I'm still down for pleasure.
- 1910
- 01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:17,281
- You got this.
- 1911
- 01:17:17,283 --> 01:17:18,349
- Hey, guys. What's up?
- 1912
- 01:17:18,351 --> 01:17:21,154
- Anyone seen Sam?
- Anyone seen Sam?
- 1913
- 01:17:26,191 --> 01:17:28,291
- Chad!
- 1914
- 01:17:28,293 --> 01:17:29,292
- Fuck.
- 1915
- 01:17:29,294 --> 01:17:30,931
- Get out of the way.
- 1916
- 01:17:33,199 --> 01:17:34,698
- Jesus!
- 1917
- 01:17:37,235 --> 01:17:38,669
- What the f...?
- 1918
- 01:17:38,671 --> 01:17:40,136
- You again?
- 1919
- 01:17:40,138 --> 01:17:41,471
- - You!
- - What the fuck?
- 1920
- 01:17:41,473 --> 01:17:43,107
- What's your beef with me, dude?
- 1921
- 01:17:43,109 --> 01:17:44,341
- I don't know
- who the fuck you are!
- 1922
- 01:17:44,343 --> 01:17:46,344
- I'm Jake motherfucking Donahue.
- 1923
- 01:17:46,346 --> 01:17:48,345
- That name means nothing to me.
- 1924
- 01:17:48,347 --> 01:17:50,313
- Do you know what it's like
- to be humiliated
- 1925
- 01:17:50,315 --> 01:17:51,681
- in front of everyone you know
- 1926
- 01:17:51,683 --> 01:17:53,587
- and have to seek redemption
- for that?
- 1927
- 01:17:54,721 --> 01:17:57,054
- Actually, yes, I do.
- 1928
- 01:17:57,056 --> 01:18:00,191
- Kayla? Kayla?
- 1929
- 01:18:00,193 --> 01:18:01,692
- Kayla? Get the hell away
- 1930
- 01:18:01,694 --> 01:18:04,094
- from my daughter,
- you little piece of shit!
- 1931
- 01:18:04,096 --> 01:18:05,763
- Dad, what the...?
- 1932
- 01:18:05,765 --> 01:18:07,331
- Oh, my God!
- 1933
- 01:18:07,333 --> 01:18:09,099
- You okay?
- He didn't hurt you, did he?
- 1934
- 01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:10,568
- What? No, he didn't hurt me.
- 1935
- 01:18:10,570 --> 01:18:12,603
- Holy shit! Connor.
- 1936
- 01:18:12,605 --> 01:18:14,337
- - Ow.
- - Oh, my God, are you okay?
- 1937
- 01:18:14,339 --> 01:18:16,040
- I'm actually totally fine.
- 1938
- 01:18:16,042 --> 01:18:17,441
- Connor, I'm so sorry.
- 1939
- 01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:18,475
- - Are you okay, though?
- - Yeah, please...
- 1940
- 01:18:18,477 --> 01:18:19,676
- Are you sure?
- 1941
- 01:18:19,678 --> 01:18:21,778
- Dad, what the...
- what are you doing here?
- 1942
- 01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,546
- I've been following you around
- all night.
- 1943
- 01:18:23,548 --> 01:18:25,316
- Are you ser...? Oh, my God.
- 1944
- 01:18:25,318 --> 01:18:26,684
- You've been following me?
- 1945
- 01:18:26,686 --> 01:18:28,385
- - Are you crazy?
- - You gave me no choice.
- 1946
- 01:18:28,387 --> 01:18:29,653
- You're in over your head
- with this kid.
- 1947
- 01:18:29,655 --> 01:18:31,121
- I am not some pathetic
- 1948
- 01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,489
- damsel in distress
- that needs saving.
- 1949
- 01:18:32,491 --> 01:18:34,058
- - I can handle myself.
- - No, you can't.
- 1950
- 01:18:34,060 --> 01:18:35,492
- - Yes, I can.
- - No, you can't.
- 1951
- 01:18:35,494 --> 01:18:38,028
- - Yes, I can.
- - Kayla, you can't.
- 1952
- 01:18:38,030 --> 01:18:40,031
- And that's why I'm here.
- 1953
- 01:18:40,033 --> 01:18:41,200
- It's my job.
- 1954
- 01:18:42,802 --> 01:18:44,402
- Oh.
- 1955
- 01:18:44,404 --> 01:18:46,703
- Yeah, so you just don't think
- 1956
- 01:18:46,705 --> 01:18:50,374
- I can make my own decisions
- and handle myself.
- 1957
- 01:18:50,376 --> 01:18:52,611
- That really fucking sucks.
- 1958
- 01:18:56,114 --> 01:18:58,715
- Kayla...
- 1959
- 01:18:58,717 --> 01:19:01,652
- Kayla, I'm just trying
- to figure this thing out.
- 1960
- 01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:04,991
- God. Why is sex even bad?
- 1961
- 01:19:09,462 --> 01:19:11,629
- I-I don't know.
- I don't know. It's...
- 1962
- 01:19:11,631 --> 01:19:13,563
- It's not... You know, it's...
- 1963
- 01:19:13,565 --> 01:19:15,501
- I don't know.
- 1964
- 01:19:16,668 --> 01:19:18,501
- I'm...
- 1965
- 01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:21,639
- I'm just trying to be
- the best dad I can be.
- 1966
- 01:19:21,641 --> 01:19:24,207
- Well, you are.
- 1967
- 01:19:24,209 --> 01:19:27,243
- You taught me everything.
- 1968
- 01:19:27,245 --> 01:19:29,546
- You built me up.
- 1969
- 01:19:29,548 --> 01:19:31,614
- Made me strong.
- 1970
- 01:19:31,616 --> 01:19:34,318
- You made me into who I am.
- 1971
- 01:19:34,320 --> 01:19:36,719
- Like, that's...
- 1972
- 01:19:36,721 --> 01:19:40,491
- You did not have
- to save me tonight, Dad.
- 1973
- 01:19:40,493 --> 01:19:44,631
- You taught me how to do that
- a long time ago.
- 1974
- 01:19:45,730 --> 01:19:47,166
- And I love you for it.
- 1975
- 01:19:49,569 --> 01:19:51,638
- Best coach ever.
- 1976
- 01:19:56,508 --> 01:19:59,210
- Thank you. Thank you.
- 1977
- 01:19:59,212 --> 01:20:02,179
- Oh, Dad, come on.
- 1978
- 01:20:02,181 --> 01:20:03,717
- Come on, toughen up.
- 1979
- 01:20:05,418 --> 01:20:07,318
- It was just really nice
- what you said.
- 1980
- 01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:09,252
- It's good. It's good.
- 1981
- 01:20:09,254 --> 01:20:10,621
- I mean it.
- 1982
- 01:20:10,623 --> 01:20:12,790
- Thanks. I feel like...
- 1983
- 01:20:12,792 --> 01:20:16,594
- like Phil Jackson when he
- was coaching the Bulls,
- 1984
- 01:20:16,596 --> 01:20:20,430
- and... and then the...
- and they were so good.
- 1985
- 01:20:21,868 --> 01:20:24,167
- - That's how I feel right now.
- - Yeah.
- 1986
- 01:20:24,169 --> 01:20:27,138
- I should have taken
- my socks off first.
- 1987
- 01:20:28,874 --> 01:20:31,908
- Now, I'm just warning you,
- I've practiced a few times,
- 1988
- 01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:34,411
- - but this might not go that well.
- - That doesn't look right.
- 1989
- 01:20:34,413 --> 01:20:35,880
- - Yeah, all right.
- - I think you need another one.
- 1990
- 01:20:35,882 --> 01:20:38,215
- - I think we need another one, too.
- - Wait, wait.
- 1991
- 01:20:38,217 --> 01:20:39,782
- We have to do our dance.
- 1992
- 01:20:39,784 --> 01:20:41,618
- - We have to. Like, yeah, yeah.
- - What, now?
- 1993
- 01:20:41,620 --> 01:20:43,687
- - Naked?
- - No, get me one of those, um...
- 1994
- 01:20:43,689 --> 01:20:45,456
- the hotel robes.
- I want to feel fabulous.
- 1995
- 01:20:45,458 --> 01:20:47,191
- Okay.
- 1996
- 01:20:47,193 --> 01:20:48,528
- Coming right up, milady.
- 1997
- 01:21:04,209 --> 01:21:07,278
- We're gonna christen
- every corner of this room.
- 1998
- 01:21:07,280 --> 01:21:10,313
- And when we're done,
- let's FaceTime my parents.
- 1999
- 01:21:10,315 --> 01:21:11,715
- Okay, but right now,
- 2000
- 01:21:11,717 --> 01:21:13,884
- I want you to stare
- into my eyes.
- 2001
- 01:21:13,886 --> 01:21:15,486
- - What?
- - Mm-hmm.
- 2002
- 01:21:15,488 --> 01:21:17,921
- I just want, like,
- a real connection.
- 2003
- 01:21:17,923 --> 01:21:20,858
- So you just want me
- to look straight into your eyes
- 2004
- 01:21:20,860 --> 01:21:22,660
- for the next three minutes
- and 37 seconds?
- 2005
- 01:21:22,662 --> 01:21:23,760
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- 2006
- 01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:33,770
- Look at me.
- 2007
- 01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:51,514
- - Dad?
- - Where is he?
- 2008
- 01:22:51,516 --> 01:22:53,716
- - What are you doing here?
- - Chad?
- 2009
- 01:22:53,718 --> 01:22:55,519
- Hey, Chad, you motherfucker.
- 2010
- 01:22:55,521 --> 01:22:57,755
- Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
- 2011
- 01:22:57,757 --> 01:22:59,422
- Did he make you do something
- you don't want to do?
- 2012
- 01:22:59,424 --> 01:23:00,657
- 'Cause I don't care if he's
- 2013
- 01:23:00,659 --> 01:23:01,892
- the fucking coolest kid
- in school.
- 2014
- 01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,327
- I'm gonna shove his fedora
- 2015
- 01:23:03,329 --> 01:23:05,828
- so far up his ass,
- it'll be a hat.
- 2016
- 01:23:05,830 --> 01:23:08,698
- No, Dad, we didn't do it.
- 2017
- 01:23:08,700 --> 01:23:10,067
- All right? And even if we did,
- 2018
- 01:23:10,069 --> 01:23:12,973
- it would be none
- of your business.
- 2019
- 01:23:15,841 --> 01:23:19,643
- It's just,
- I was worried about you.
- 2020
- 01:23:19,645 --> 01:23:20,879
- Well, that's a first.
- 2021
- 01:23:22,347 --> 01:23:24,681
- I deserve that.
- 2022
- 01:23:24,683 --> 01:23:25,948
- Sam, I gotta tell you
- something,
- 2023
- 01:23:25,950 --> 01:23:27,886
- and I'm just gonna say it.
- 2024
- 01:23:36,462 --> 01:23:41,635
- Sam, I have realized
- over the last few years...
- 2025
- 01:23:43,369 --> 01:23:45,469
- ...that I have made
- a big mistake in my life.
- 2026
- 01:23:45,471 --> 01:23:47,607
- What, like cheating on my mom?
- 2027
- 01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:50,674
- Well, no. Marrying your mom.
- 2028
- 01:23:50,676 --> 01:23:52,076
- But no, that...
- that wasn't a mistake,
- 2029
- 01:23:52,078 --> 01:23:54,377
- because then I wouldn't
- have had you.
- 2030
- 01:23:56,114 --> 01:24:01,684
- I've made lots of mistakes,
- but th-the big mistake...
- 2031
- 01:24:01,686 --> 01:24:07,457
- is that I let what happened
- between your mom and I
- 2032
- 01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:10,462
- get in the way
- of our relationship.
- 2033
- 01:24:14,065 --> 01:24:15,601
- I'm sorry.
- 2034
- 01:24:17,136 --> 01:24:21,738
- And I hope that we
- can start over and...
- 2035
- 01:24:21,740 --> 01:24:25,442
- build up our relationship again
- because...
- 2036
- 01:24:25,444 --> 01:24:27,047
- you're my only kid.
- 2037
- 01:24:28,814 --> 01:24:30,413
- And I'm your only dad.
- 2038
- 01:24:30,415 --> 01:24:31,681
- Well, Frank is...
- 2039
- 01:24:31,683 --> 01:24:32,950
- Fuck Frank.
- 2040
- 01:24:36,721 --> 01:24:38,654
- Frank's fine.
- 2041
- 01:24:38,656 --> 01:24:42,626
- Dad, can I tell you
- something now?
- 2042
- 01:24:42,628 --> 01:24:43,693
- Yes.
- 2043
- 01:24:43,695 --> 01:24:45,062
- Yes, yes, yes, anything.
- 2044
- 01:24:45,064 --> 01:24:47,033
- I'm a lesbian.
- 2045
- 01:24:53,506 --> 01:24:55,040
- Give me your hand.
- 2046
- 01:24:57,176 --> 01:24:58,709
- What does your mom think?
- 2047
- 01:24:58,711 --> 01:24:59,779
- She doesn't know.
- 2048
- 01:25:04,616 --> 01:25:06,683
- You told me
- before you told your mom?
- 2049
- 01:25:06,685 --> 01:25:09,051
- - Yeah.
- - That's big news.
- 2050
- 01:25:09,053 --> 01:25:11,421
- She doesn't know?
- 2051
- 01:25:11,423 --> 01:25:13,489
- - You didn't tell Frank?
- - No.
- 2052
- 01:25:24,770 --> 01:25:26,836
- Okay. Over.
- 2053
- 01:25:26,838 --> 01:25:28,906
- Crying is over.
- 2054
- 01:25:28,908 --> 01:25:30,107
- What do your girlfriends think?
- 2055
- 01:25:30,109 --> 01:25:31,942
- No, I'm too nervous.
- I can't tell them.
- 2056
- 01:25:31,944 --> 01:25:34,010
- You're nervous
- to tell Kayla and Julie?
- 2057
- 01:25:34,012 --> 01:25:37,581
- It's just... I don't want
- to lose my two best friends.
- 2058
- 01:25:37,583 --> 01:25:39,750
- This is the stuff you tell
- the people you care about.
- 2059
- 01:25:39,752 --> 01:25:42,653
- You think they're not gonna
- support you because you're gay?
- 2060
- 01:25:42,655 --> 01:25:45,889
- They would support you
- if you were a vampire.
- 2061
- 01:25:45,891 --> 01:25:47,925
- They would support you more.
- 2062
- 01:25:47,927 --> 01:25:50,193
- With all the Twilight shit.
- 2063
- 01:25:50,195 --> 01:25:52,862
- - Do we still like Twilight?
- - Definitely not.
- 2064
- 01:25:52,864 --> 01:25:54,931
- No, no.
- 2065
- 01:25:54,933 --> 01:25:56,636
- Oh, God.
- 2066
- 01:25:57,903 --> 01:25:59,937
- Thanks for showing up.
- 2067
- 01:25:59,939 --> 01:26:01,037
- Really.
- 2068
- 01:26:01,039 --> 01:26:03,974
- But you should probably leave
- 2069
- 01:26:03,976 --> 01:26:06,777
- because it's insane
- that you even came here
- 2070
- 01:26:06,779 --> 01:26:09,045
- in the first place.
- 2071
- 01:26:09,047 --> 01:26:10,980
- I'd love to get
- a picture with you.
- 2072
- 01:26:10,982 --> 01:26:12,648
- Yeah.
- 2073
- 01:26:12,650 --> 01:26:14,684
- Great. Okay.
- 2074
- 01:26:14,686 --> 01:26:16,252
- Just gonna stand on this.
- 2075
- 01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:18,688
- Yeah, you know...
- you know the drill. Come on.
- 2076
- 01:26:18,690 --> 01:26:20,189
- Come on. Here we go.
- 2077
- 01:26:20,191 --> 01:26:22,428
- Gotta turn it around here.
- 2078
- 01:26:25,698 --> 01:26:27,531
- Dad, you're not taking it.
- 2079
- 01:26:27,533 --> 01:26:28,802
- It's...
- 2080
- 01:26:30,668 --> 01:26:33,135
- What?
- 2081
- 01:26:33,137 --> 01:26:35,772
- I'll remember this.
- 2082
- 01:26:35,774 --> 01:26:37,139
- Come on.
- 2083
- 01:26:37,141 --> 01:26:38,908
- Oh, my God.
- 2084
- 01:26:38,910 --> 01:26:40,644
- What's up, dawg?
- 2085
- 01:26:40,646 --> 01:26:43,013
- So, I just, uh...
- 2086
- 01:26:43,015 --> 01:26:45,549
- parented the shit out of Sam.
- 2087
- 01:26:45,552 --> 01:26:47,216
- And I feel, uh...
- 2088
- 01:26:47,218 --> 01:26:49,286
- oh, God, like, uh...
- 2089
- 01:26:49,288 --> 01:26:51,188
- pride, I think.
- 2090
- 01:26:51,190 --> 01:26:52,688
- - That's it.
- - It's new.
- 2091
- 01:26:52,690 --> 01:26:54,023
- Good for you, man.
- 2092
- 01:26:54,025 --> 01:26:55,157
- Thanks.
- 2093
- 01:26:55,159 --> 01:26:56,225
- Well done, my friend.
- 2094
- 01:26:56,227 --> 01:26:57,661
- - Thank you.
- - Well done.
- 2095
- 01:26:57,663 --> 01:26:59,129
- How'd it go with Kayla?
- 2096
- 01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,831
- Put Connor through a wall.
- 2097
- 01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:02,599
- Are you serious?
- 2098
- 01:27:02,601 --> 01:27:04,535
- Yeah. He's okay.
- 2099
- 01:27:04,537 --> 01:27:05,969
- Yeah, he's lighter
- than I thought.
- 2100
- 01:27:07,138 --> 01:27:08,772
- Hey.
- 2101
- 01:27:08,774 --> 01:27:09,939
- Hi.
- 2102
- 01:27:09,941 --> 01:27:12,576
- So, Julie's, um...
- 2103
- 01:27:12,578 --> 01:27:14,044
- Julie's having sex right now.
- 2104
- 01:27:14,046 --> 01:27:16,580
- - Okay. And sit down.
- - Wowie.
- 2105
- 01:27:16,582 --> 01:27:17,947
- Yeah.
- 2106
- 01:27:17,949 --> 01:27:19,849
- But it's good.
- It's fine, right?
- 2107
- 01:27:19,851 --> 01:27:21,751
- I mean, you have to do that
- eventually.
- 2108
- 01:27:21,753 --> 01:27:22,920
- Right?
- 2109
- 01:27:22,922 --> 01:27:24,587
- - Are you good?
- - Yeah.
- 2110
- 01:27:24,589 --> 01:27:27,124
- They seem like they really like
- each other, and that's nice.
- 2111
- 01:27:27,126 --> 01:27:30,727
- That's a good thing, but it's
- just a little, you know, scary,
- 2112
- 01:27:30,729 --> 01:27:33,630
- because what if he doesn't know
- how to do it right?
- 2113
- 01:27:33,632 --> 01:27:36,133
- You know, like, what if he
- doesn't know where to put it?
- 2114
- 01:27:36,135 --> 01:27:37,934
- But he knows, right?
- Should I go back up there?
- 2115
- 01:27:37,936 --> 01:27:39,836
- - No. No, no, no, no.
- - No, no, he'll figure it out.
- 2116
- 01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:41,004
- - No, no.
- - It's one or the other.
- 2117
- 01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,040
- Nope. You stay right here.
- 2118
- 01:27:43,042 --> 01:27:45,578
- Do you want to have
- a drink right now?
- 2119
- 01:27:46,811 --> 01:27:48,644
- You mean, like, hang out?
- 2120
- 01:27:48,646 --> 01:27:49,645
- Yeah.
- 2121
- 01:27:49,647 --> 01:27:52,014
- Yes, I do.
- 2122
- 01:27:52,016 --> 01:27:53,884
- I'm in. I'm definitely in.
- 2123
- 01:27:53,886 --> 01:27:56,752
- Um, we will be having
- some shots of alcohol, please.
- 2124
- 01:27:56,754 --> 01:27:57,853
- Yes, we will.
- 2125
- 01:27:57,855 --> 01:27:58,889
- This is crazy.
- 2126
- 01:28:00,292 --> 01:28:01,925
- - This is...
- - Well, I'm going to, uh...
- 2127
- 01:28:01,927 --> 01:28:05,795
- let you guys have your fun,
- and I will, uh...
- 2128
- 01:28:05,797 --> 01:28:07,933
- I-I will see you guys around.
- 2129
- 01:28:12,870 --> 01:28:14,606
- Hey!
- 2130
- 01:28:16,007 --> 01:28:17,644
- You, too.
- 2131
- 01:28:19,110 --> 01:28:20,844
- Yeah.
- 2132
- 01:28:20,846 --> 01:28:22,345
- Right.
- 2133
- 01:28:22,347 --> 01:28:24,147
- Fuck yeah.
- 2134
- 01:28:24,149 --> 01:28:26,116
- Piña colada.
- 2135
- 01:28:26,118 --> 01:28:27,687
- Just get him a shot.
- 2136
- 01:28:28,753 --> 01:28:30,286
- Cheers.
- 2137
- 01:28:30,288 --> 01:28:31,721
- What a night, guys.
- 2138
- 01:28:31,723 --> 01:28:33,191
- That's beautiful.
- 2139
- 01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:38,961
- So, I don't think the kid
- at the lake house
- 2140
- 01:28:38,963 --> 01:28:40,663
- was actually butt-chugging.
- 2141
- 01:28:40,665 --> 01:28:41,898
- - Definitely.
- - Yeah.
- 2142
- 01:28:41,900 --> 01:28:43,233
- - What?
- - Yep. - Yeah.
- 2143
- 01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:45,868
- And so he threw me
- through a table, uh...
- 2144
- 01:28:45,870 --> 01:28:47,170
- - I'm so sorry.
- - No, it was cool.
- 2145
- 01:28:47,172 --> 01:28:49,171
- I, like... I kind of feel fine.
- 2146
- 01:28:49,173 --> 01:28:51,108
- - All right, see you.
- - It's cool. - See you.
- 2147
- 01:28:51,110 --> 01:28:52,309
- Hey, guys.
- 2148
- 01:28:52,311 --> 01:28:53,676
- Austin, uh, let's go
- 2149
- 01:28:53,678 --> 01:28:54,810
- - get a drink, man.
- - Yeah, sure.
- 2150
- 01:28:54,812 --> 01:28:56,013
- Want a fry?
- 2151
- 01:28:56,015 --> 01:28:58,017
- So badly.
- 2152
- 01:28:59,685 --> 01:29:01,385
- Can I have a fry, too?
- 2153
- 01:29:01,387 --> 01:29:03,286
- - Yeah.
- - Yes.
- 2154
- 01:29:04,323 --> 01:29:05,788
- So...
- 2155
- 01:29:05,790 --> 01:29:08,291
- I... I couldn't
- go through with it.
- 2156
- 01:29:08,293 --> 01:29:11,297
- Yes, I didn't. No.
- 2157
- 01:29:15,199 --> 01:29:16,700
- Holy shit.
- 2158
- 01:29:16,702 --> 01:29:18,234
- You're a woman amongst girls.
- 2159
- 01:29:18,236 --> 01:29:19,969
- - Julie. - Yeah.
- - Congratu-fuck-ulations.
- 2160
- 01:29:19,971 --> 01:29:22,272
- - Thank you. Thank you.
- - How was it?
- 2161
- 01:29:22,274 --> 01:29:23,739
- Honestly,
- it was a little painful,
- 2162
- 01:29:23,741 --> 01:29:26,009
- kind of fast
- and kind of awkward,
- 2163
- 01:29:26,011 --> 01:29:27,443
- but absolutely perfect.
- 2164
- 01:29:27,445 --> 01:29:28,911
- Aw!
- 2165
- 01:29:29,914 --> 01:29:31,681
- You guys, so much...
- 2166
- 01:29:31,683 --> 01:29:33,282
- so much went down tonight.
- 2167
- 01:29:33,284 --> 01:29:34,283
- I know.
- 2168
- 01:29:34,285 --> 01:29:36,385
- Including Connor.
- 2169
- 01:29:36,387 --> 01:29:38,388
- - No.
- - Let's just say...
- 2170
- 01:29:38,390 --> 01:29:40,724
- The Chef went out to eat...
- 2171
- 01:29:40,726 --> 01:29:42,192
- my pussy.
- 2172
- 01:29:43,428 --> 01:29:44,861
- It was good.
- 2173
- 01:29:44,863 --> 01:29:46,295
- Ba-ba-ba!
- 2174
- 01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:48,297
- - DJ Chad.
- - Is that Chad?
- 2175
- 01:29:48,299 --> 01:29:51,001
- - That's Chad. Chad!
- - That's Chad.
- 2176
- 01:29:51,003 --> 01:29:52,736
- Yes, Chad!
- 2177
- 01:29:52,738 --> 01:29:54,737
- Holy shit. Fuck yeah, Chad!
- 2178
- 01:30:09,053 --> 01:30:11,254
- Guys, I got to tell you
- something.
- 2179
- 01:30:11,256 --> 01:30:13,122
- Okay, okay.
- 2180
- 01:30:16,128 --> 01:30:17,493
- Really?
- 2181
- 01:30:17,495 --> 01:30:18,828
- - Yeah.
- - Wait, you are?
- 2182
- 01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:20,496
- Yeah.
- 2183
- 01:30:20,498 --> 01:30:22,131
- I love you.
- 2184
- 01:30:22,133 --> 01:30:23,767
- Forever.
- 2185
- 01:30:23,769 --> 01:30:25,367
- And you, too.
- 2186
- 01:30:25,369 --> 01:30:27,370
- Oh, my God!
- 2187
- 01:30:27,372 --> 01:30:29,238
- - I love you. Hold on.
- - Sam, come here, you.
- 2188
- 01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:30,773
- Excuse me.
- 2189
- 01:30:30,775 --> 01:30:32,242
- I can't believe
- you didn't tell us.
- 2190
- 01:30:32,244 --> 01:30:33,477
- Yay!
- 2191
- 01:30:37,382 --> 01:30:38,814
- - Oh, hey.
- - Hey.
- 2192
- 01:30:38,816 --> 01:30:40,216
- - Hey.
- - Hi.
- 2193
- 01:30:40,218 --> 01:30:42,118
- Oh.
- 2194
- 01:30:42,120 --> 01:30:44,990
- Uh, Julie, I think we got
- something over here.
- 2195
- 01:30:46,792 --> 01:30:48,194
- Dope cape.
- 2196
- 01:30:51,296 --> 01:30:53,295
- And I'm not...
- 2197
- 01:30:53,297 --> 01:30:54,933
- misreading things.
- 2198
- 01:31:19,824 --> 01:31:22,224
- So you'll call me every day
- till you get to L.A., right?
- 2199
- 01:31:22,226 --> 01:31:23,827
- Yeah, and then, like,
- every day after that.
- 2200
- 01:31:23,829 --> 01:31:24,961
- Okay.
- 2201
- 01:31:24,963 --> 01:31:26,196
- I'm gonna miss you so much.
- 2202
- 01:31:26,198 --> 01:31:28,098
- You're gonna be okay, though.
- 2203
- 01:31:28,100 --> 01:31:29,431
- Are you gonna be okay?
- 2204
- 01:31:29,433 --> 01:31:30,867
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- 2205
- 01:31:30,869 --> 01:31:33,002
- It's the weirdest thing
- because...
- 2206
- 01:31:33,004 --> 01:31:37,974
- I have been worried
- about this day for 18 years,
- 2207
- 01:31:37,976 --> 01:31:41,443
- and then I wake up
- this morning, and...
- 2208
- 01:31:41,445 --> 01:31:43,380
- nothing.
- 2209
- 01:31:43,382 --> 01:31:45,148
- Like, I don't feel
- emotional at all.
- 2210
- 01:31:45,150 --> 01:31:47,349
- I just feel, like...
- 2211
- 01:31:47,351 --> 01:31:49,286
- - It's so bizarre.
- - Mm-hmm.
- 2212
- 01:31:49,288 --> 01:31:50,886
- What is that?
- 2213
- 01:31:50,888 --> 01:31:52,154
- It's, like, splashing on me.
- 2214
- 01:31:52,156 --> 01:31:53,956
- I know.
- Isn't that so strange?
- 2215
- 01:31:53,958 --> 01:31:55,093
- Yeah.
- 2216
- 01:31:57,195 --> 01:31:58,530
- I love you, Mom.
- 2217
- 01:31:59,832 --> 01:32:01,133
- I love you.
- 2218
- 01:32:03,267 --> 01:32:04,600
- No, I have money. I...
- 2219
- 01:32:04,602 --> 01:32:06,368
- Lisa, tell him
- I can afford br...
- 2220
- 01:32:06,370 --> 01:32:09,139
- Hmm. Sorry. Sorry.
- 2221
- 01:32:09,141 --> 01:32:11,174
- All right, come on.
- 2222
- 01:32:11,176 --> 01:32:13,042
- Let's get this road trip
- started!
- 2223
- 01:32:13,044 --> 01:32:14,477
- - We're waiting for you!
- - I love you.
- 2224
- 01:32:14,479 --> 01:32:16,580
- - Bye.
- - Okay.
- 2225
- 01:32:16,582 --> 01:32:18,785
- Oh, hold on.
- Let me take a video.
- 2226
- 01:32:29,227 --> 01:32:31,461
- - I love you.
- - I love you.
- 2227
- 01:32:31,463 --> 01:32:33,162
- Bye, Mom.
- 2228
- 01:32:33,164 --> 01:32:34,563
- - I love you.
- - Okay, bye.
- 2229
- 01:32:34,565 --> 01:32:36,131
- - Mwah!
- - See you.
- 2230
- 01:32:36,133 --> 01:32:38,033
- Drop Julie off in Cali,
- and then you and Kayla
- 2231
- 01:32:38,035 --> 01:32:39,402
- - come right back home.
- - That's a, a big maybe.
- 2232
- 01:32:39,404 --> 01:32:40,970
- - And text, please. Please.
- - Hey.
- 2233
- 01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:42,438
- Take care of my mom,
- you two, okay?
- 2234
- 01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:44,174
- - We will. All right.
- - Later, big guy.
- 2235
- 01:32:44,176 --> 01:32:46,076
- - Bye, Dad.
- - I'm going to college! - Bye!
- 2236
- 01:32:46,078 --> 01:32:47,611
- Drive careful, young
- man. That's precious cargo.
- 2237
- 01:32:47,613 --> 01:32:49,373
- Love you!
- 2238
- 01:32:50,449 --> 01:32:52,181
- - Aw.
- - Come on.
- 2239
- 01:32:52,183 --> 01:32:53,549
- - Guys. - Come on.
- - We did it.
- 2240
- 01:32:53,552 --> 01:32:55,885
- We did it. We did it.
- 2241
- 01:32:55,887 --> 01:32:57,086
- We parented.
- 2242
- 01:32:57,088 --> 01:32:58,921
- - We did it.
- - We did it.
- 2243
- 01:33:00,391 --> 01:33:03,660
- Oh, it's Julie.
- 2244
- 01:33:03,662 --> 01:33:06,161
- Oh, I must have been
- accidentally added to the...
- 2245
- 01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:07,898
- the group conversation.
- 2246
- 01:33:07,900 --> 01:33:09,666
- - Oh, well, should probably leave.
- - What's, uh...
- 2247
- 01:33:09,668 --> 01:33:11,434
- "Can't-can't believe
- we're on our own now."
- 2248
- 01:33:11,436 --> 01:33:12,602
- Aw, that's sweet.
- - Yeah.
- 2249
- 01:33:12,604 --> 01:33:14,437
- "We're gonna get lit af."
- 2250
- 01:33:14,439 --> 01:33:16,139
- "Lit A.F."
- 2251
- 01:33:16,141 --> 01:33:18,108
- That's not great.
- 2252
- 01:33:18,110 --> 01:33:19,943
- No, it's... they're gonna get
- literature. African literature.
- 2253
- 01:33:19,945 --> 01:33:21,577
- You think that's
- what "lit A.F." means?
- 2254
- 01:33:21,579 --> 01:33:23,345
- You think they're talking
- to each other about, like...
- 2255
- 01:33:23,347 --> 01:33:25,081
- - "Lit A.F."
- - "Can The Chef get us..."
- 2256
- 01:33:25,083 --> 01:33:26,282
- Trees? What the hell's trees?
- 2257
- 01:33:26,284 --> 01:33:28,018
- Trees mean weed.
- I told you that.
- 2258
- 01:33:28,020 --> 01:33:29,653
- - Mushrooms, pills.
- - No, the pills are...
- 2259
- 01:33:29,655 --> 01:33:31,020
- Kayla's allergy.
- That's Claritin.
- 2260
- 01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:32,087
- It's not Claritin. Look.
- 2261
- 01:33:32,089 --> 01:33:33,255
- Snowflakes. That's blow.
- 2262
- 01:33:33,257 --> 01:33:34,991
- "#NoParentsNoRules.
- 2263
- 01:33:34,993 --> 01:33:38,528
- # MadDrugs.
- # NoCondoms."
- 2264
- 01:33:38,530 --> 01:33:40,229
- Why would they hashtag that?
- 2265
- 01:33:40,231 --> 01:33:42,331
- Wait, I'm sorry. Is that
- a needle and an eggplant?
- 2266
- 01:33:42,333 --> 01:33:45,635
- What, are they gonna inject
- heroin into some guy's dick?
- 2267
- 01:33:45,637 --> 01:33:46,969
- - Let's go.
- - Let's get in the car.
- 2268
- 01:33:46,971 --> 01:33:48,104
- - I'll drive.
- - I'm sitting behind you.
- 2269
- 01:33:48,106 --> 01:33:50,139
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 2270
- 01:33:50,141 --> 01:33:51,241
- We're just messing with you.
- 2271
- 01:33:51,243 --> 01:33:52,243
- Ha-ha!
- 2272
- 01:33:53,544 --> 01:33:55,545
- "We love you guys.
- Don't worry."
- 2273
- 01:33:57,048 --> 01:34:00,116
- You guys were so pranked!
- I was in on it.
- 2274
- 01:34:00,118 --> 01:34:01,984
- - You didn't know.
- - No, no, I did. I didn't know it was
- 2275
- 01:34:01,986 --> 01:34:03,519
- coming right now. That's why
- I kind of sold it so well.
- 2276
- 01:34:03,521 --> 01:34:04,720
- But it doesn't matter.
- 2277
- 01:34:04,722 --> 01:34:07,256
- But you guys were like,
- "Holy shit!"
- 2278
- 01:34:07,258 --> 01:34:08,590
- - Yeah.
- - Whew.
- 2279
- 01:34:26,410 --> 01:34:28,178
- Damn it, Mitchell.
- 2280
- 01:34:28,180 --> 01:34:29,582
- Marco.
- 2281
- 01:34:30,982 --> 01:34:32,047
- Polo.
- 2282
- 01:34:32,049 --> 01:34:33,683
- I...
- 2283
- 01:34:33,685 --> 01:34:35,620
- Mitchell,
- are you getting a snack?
- 2284
- 01:34:37,521 --> 01:34:39,421
- I'm so glad we can
- do stuff like this
- 2285
- 01:34:39,423 --> 01:34:40,689
- now that Kayla's in college.
- 2286
- 01:34:40,691 --> 01:34:43,225
- I have no idea where you are.
- 2287
- 01:34:43,227 --> 01:34:45,627
- I'm gonna do so much stuff
- to you when I find you.
- 2288
- 01:34:45,629 --> 01:34:47,563
- - Oh, oh.
- - Marco.
- 2289
- 01:34:47,565 --> 01:34:49,032
- - Polo.
- - Ah, ah.
- 2290
- 01:34:49,034 --> 01:34:50,300
- Polo!
- 2291
- 01:34:50,302 --> 01:34:51,667
- I can't believe you!
- It took forever!
- 2292
- 01:34:51,669 --> 01:34:53,569
- I spent so much time
- on the stairs.
- 2293
- 01:34:53,571 --> 01:34:55,270
- - We're doing this.
- - We're, like, totally doing it.
- 2294
- 01:34:55,272 --> 01:34:56,773
- - I know. It's hot.
- - Let's just get crazy.
- 2295
- 01:34:56,775 --> 01:34:57,773
- I don't know.
- 2296
- 01:34:57,775 --> 01:34:59,309
- I want you to grab my balls,
- 2297
- 01:34:59,311 --> 01:35:01,044
- like Ron likes it,
- like, uh... like, hard.
- 2298
- 01:36:39,313 --> 01:36:40,676
- Subtitles by explosiveskull
- Resync by GoldenBeard
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