As I expressed before my shift yesterday my life is slowly but surely spiraling out of control, hey. I really feel as though I should spare you guys from this and also the brand at large, this is hit or miss as I'm unsure where it's head-ed but I don't think I'll have availability, maybe not even a bed. Historically before, during and after my birthday I'm in the hospital and all y'all passed my probation if I stop publishing the crazy but today I released my first EP for my net-new label and y'all should give it a listen it's a trap staple, but I'm thinking it's triggering and maybe a bit explicit so we should just go our own ways without a fit. The environment generally is not conducive to my mental health, guys, and the stress isn't worth the wealth. That said, this is a really bad time to do this and I know I should have a month's notice but I think I'll end up doing more damage than helping, even if not through malice. Ultimately, I don't believe I'm capable of working - psychiatrist's notes in '12 or '13 echoing, but the mania that constitutes about 1/4 my diagnoses leads me to do awful well and then just crash and burn. This is the crash, I've dozens times seen heard and felt and never learn, these disabilities the kind you can't see but indeed it's like a truck smashes my side leaving me on the side of the street with bleeds. Now I avoid confrontation and I'm symptomatically averse to communication so I might just skip the conversation see if I still get my ethereum and ditch y'all like a ghost. It's failed expectations that hurt me the most. Groomed to be a doctor fixated on being a lawyer tried school maybe 7 times post-secondary and that shit may or may not allegedly have been loans scams as my income primary but hey! I'm actually just off my meds and I am the spiral even though I could have been integral instead I just sit here and crumble. Lay here wondering how to sustain self, guess it's back to poor & humble. Anywho it's best we estrange and I descend into more strange and weird little habits that keep me ever so Mad Hatter, also sortof the rabbit. Someone sang once I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me, and hey Marylin that's cool but I am the drugs. heehee. Hohoho and a bucket full of rum, guess I'll just become a bum. Or maybe even hobo with a shotgun it'd be oodles of fun.