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  1. A REALLY NEAT .SIGNATURE FOLLOWS, PRESS "NO" IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT !!!111
  2.  
  3. ^ L
  4.  
  5. .SIGNATURE UNDER CONSTRUCTION....... LAST REVISED 5/12/1990 11:02:32 PM
  6. AND ALSO LAST REVISED 5/22/90 11:27:59 PM
  7. AND 8/22/1990 10:03:16 PM TOO
  8. AND 8/25/90 01:57:08 PM
  9. AND 11/11/90 12:35:53 AM <-- LAST TIME!!
  10. (WOW, FOUR 1'S IN A ROW!!!!)
  11. AND 7/8/91 2:06:03 AM <-- LATE NIGHT!!
  12. AND 9/6/91 2:51:26AM <--- LATER!!!
  13. AND 2/9/91^H^H92 4:25:43AM <--- WOW!!!!
  14. AND 7/8/92 1:58:59AM <-- CALL IT 2!!!
  15. AND 7/31/92 1:27:49AM <-- JUST FOR ONE NEW LINE!!!!
  16. NOT COUNTING THE ABOVE ONE OF COURSE!!!!!!!!
  17. AND 12:58:53 9/11/92 FOR ONE MORE!!! NOW IT'S DONE!!!!
  18. AND 9/25/92 1:24:33AM <-- AGAIN!!!
  19. AND 9.29.92 2L37L48AM
  20. AND 10/6/92 3:18:31AM <-- LATE BEDTIME HUH !!!!
  21. AND 3/8/93 2:23:38AM <--- LAST TIME REALLY!!!!!
  22. AND 4/5/94 9:00:58AM ! I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT FIXING ALL THE TYPOS !!!!
  23. COPYRIGHT (C) COPYR.1988,1990,1989,1992,1993,1994
  24. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
  25. TODOS LOS DERECHOS RESERVADOS!!!
  26. THIS POSTING MAY NOT BE REPORDUCED IN ANY
  27. FORM WITHOUT MY WRITTEN PERMISSION
  28. OR SOLD FOR MONETARY FINANCIAL PROFIT.
  29. AND 6/13/92 3:45:26PM <-- FRI THE 13TH !!!
  30. & 5/5/94 4:52AM <-- CINCO DE MAY-O !!!!
  31.  
  32. I WROTE IT ALL BY MYSELF BUT THANKS TO MARK AND JASON DOMINUS, AND TO MATHEW
  33. WHOSE LAST NAME I FORGOT!!! AND ALL THOSE AUSSIES NAMED "IAIN"!!!
  34.  
  35. I DIDN'T MAKE ANY SPELLING ERRERS SO
  36. YOU CAN'T POST THIS SIGNATURE TO
  37. ALT.FAN.WARLORD!!!!!
  38.  
  39. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  40. ^L
  41. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.
  42. ___
  43. /(()\
  44. \__\|
  45.  
  46. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON THE INTERNET.
  47. ___ +-----+
  48. /(()\ | VAX |
  49. \__\|===+_____+
  50. ^L
  51. ____
  52. / \__
  53. |\ / @ \
  54. \ \_______| \ .:|> "Dogs aren't ALLOWED? WAAAAAAH!"
  55. \ ##| | \__/
  56. | ####\__/ \ -- Spot
  57. / / ## \|
  58. / /__________\ \ "On Usenet nobody knows you're a god!"
  59. L_JJ \__JJ -- Jerry Garcia
  60.  
  61.  
  62. S C R A T C H A N D S N I F F
  63.  
  64. to enjoy the aromatic aroma of beautiful downtown schenectady !!!!
  65. _____________________________________________________________________________
  66. james "kibo" parry, at an undisclosed location in a major city (not schenectady.
  67. kibo@prodigy.ibm.COM _________________________________________________
  68. kibo@world.COM@uunet.COM / Kibology / Anything I say is my opinion,
  69. kibo@world.BITNET@bitnet.COM is better! / and is the opposite of Xibo's.
  70. __________________________/_____________/_____________________________________
  71. "All colors are arbitrary." --Carl Sagan / Bozos use anything but emacs!
  72. __________________________________________/___________________________________
  73. Wacky, wild, Kibo style! / You're allowed. (Unless you don't want to be...
  74. ________________________/_ you are also allowed to not be allowed.) _________
  75. I never said I wasn't a bozo. /____________________________________/_Hi mom!_
  76. _____________________________/ Life is silly but should be taken seriously.
  77. Some days you / Klods * / TV is evil and should be destroyed. Really.
  78. just can't get / for /__________________________________________________
  79. rid of a bomb. / klods / Moisten needle before inserting Taiwan. / 298R
  80. ______________/_________/__________________________________________/_________
  81. * Note: "Klods for Klods" is the motto of Lego(tm) blocks in Lego's native
  82. Denmark, where they speak Danish. It means "Block by block". Neat, huh????
  83. _____________________________________________________________________________
  84. You're reading my .signature file. / COMMODORE 64S RULE THE WORLD !!!!!!!!!
  85. ___________________________________/_________________________________________
  86. "I'm Bozo, the world's most famous clown!" -- the world's most famous clown
  87. _____________________________________________________________________________
  88. M E N S A M E M B E R # 1 6 3 0 9 Look for the white pin
  89. _____________________________________________________________________________
  90. I've read all of Kurt Vonnegut Junior's books and my favorite is "Breakfast
  91. Of Champions", my second favorite is "Chariots Of The Gods". I love them all.
  92. My other favorite author is Philip K. Dick who wrote "Do Androids Dream Of
  93. Sheep?", "Clams Of The Alphane Moon", "OBIK", "Man In The Castle", and "Total
  94. Recall"! Oh, and Stephen King is absolutely the best too! And Derrida!
  95. Read "The Fountain Head" by Ann Rand--it could change your career!
  96. _____________________________________________________________________________
  97. If it doesn't say PURINA, / / Bart Simpson and Charlie
  98. bury it in the yard! / BYTE ME! / Brown are both GIRLS!
  99. ________________________/_____________________/______________________________
  100. THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IS COPYRIGHTED (C)1989/90 MCMLXXXIX/MCMLXL BY JAMES "KIBO"
  101. PARRY AND MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, SOLD, READ, PRINTED, OR REPLIED TO WITHOUT
  102. MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. HE IS SERIOUS AND WILL SUE YOUR PANTS OFF.
  103. _____________________________________________________________________________D
  104. || _______________________________________________________________________ ||I
  105. || || || ||S
  106. || ||------> I'M NOT BIFF !!!!!! HE'S NOT ME !!!!!!! <------|| ||C
  107. ++-++-------------------------------------------------------------------++-+|L
  108. || ||------> BIFF IS TOO OBNOXIOUS TO BE ME !!!!!!!! <------|| ||A
  109. || ||------> ALSO HIS .SIGNATURE IS LONGER !!!!!!!!! <------|| ||I
  110. || ||___________________________________________________________________|| ||M
  111. ||_________________________________________________________________________||E
  112. _____________________________________________________________________________R
  113. "BOZE NOSE BOOKS!" -- Bozo, The World's Most Famous Clown / QUAIL SUCKS
  114. __________________________________________________________/__________________
  115. /
  116. Orwell was an optimist. / "There is infinite hope, but not for us." - Kafka
  117. ________________________/____________________________________________________
  118. Join the Kibo Fan Club! Send lots of money to the address above, RIGHT NOW!
  119. _____________________________________________________________________________
  120. All generalizations stink. / Kibology is *NOT* Satanism! / Ollie for prez
  121. ___________________________/_______________________________/_________________
  122. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY! / What's fahefergnugen? / QUAIL STILL SUCKS! ! !
  123. _______________________/__________________________/__________________________
  124. "The secret word is... SIL! Now you all know what to do whenever anybody
  125. says the secret word, right? SCREAM REAL LOUD!" -- Pee Wee Herman
  126. _____________________________________________________________________________
  127. If I said anything to offend anyone in this message, I'm sorry and didn't
  128. mean to hurt your feelings. ________________________________________________
  129. ____________________________/ "Losing our marbles for the last 23 years"
  130. I hope you're enjoying / I'm gonna be 24 soon! My birthday is July 13,
  131. reading this posting... / send presents! The day before Bastille Day!
  132. _________________________/___________________________________________________
  133. If Lambada is the forbidden dance, why did they make a movie about it?
  134. _____________________________________________________________________________
  135. Hi Tale@Rpi.Edu! / You are here X / What's Peewee Herman's favorite
  136. _________________/___________________/ baseball team? THE EXPOS!
  137. Garrison Keillor is my hero / (rec.humor.funny)
  138. ___________________________________/_________________________________________
  139. "Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!" -- STAR TREK
  140. _____________________________________________________________________________
  141. "SIL!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  142. _____________________________________________________________________________
  143. There's a mouse in my apartment right now while I'm typing this. Isn't
  144. that an incredible coincidence! Have you ever been using this bboard while
  145. a mouse was in your room. Now I have.........?
  146. _____________________________________________________________________________
  147. Anyone who thinks anyone else should be shot should be shot; the NRA is a
  148. bunch of bozos just like the Democrats AND Republicans AND Williard Scott.
  149. Kill the Fascists and Communists and all the other nuts too. Kill 'em all!
  150. _____________________________________________________________________________
  151. "I'm Batman!" -- BATMAN THE MOVIE / This space intentionally left blank.
  152. (THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!!!) /
  153. __________________________________/__________________________________________
  154. Elvis lives. / "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..." --MONTY PYTHON / Hug me
  155. _____________/_____________________________________________________/_________
  156. Did I spell anything wrong? If so, please tell me so I can post a correction.
  157. _____________________________________________________________________________
  158. |\ My favorite PostScript font is Chicago! Times Roman is just a cheap
  159. --- \ ripoff of the real New York. And you don't even have to be in Chicago
  160. ___ / to use Chicago! I printed my whole resume in 36pt Chicago Bold Shadow!
  161. __|/_________________________________________________________________________
  162. | "Beauty and the Beast" may be cancelled, but it lives on forever in our |
  163. | hearts and minds and hearts! It will live forever even though it's dead!|
  164. |___________________________________________________________________________|
  165. Can I have a cookie? / The Kibology Center is a non-non-profit arm of the
  166. _____________________/ National Association for Kibological Awareness(NAKA).
  167. I'M 100% FLAMEPROOF /________________________________________________________
  168. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  169.  
  170. Harry Graber, age 11, is dying of a fatal disease which will eventually kill
  171. him. Before he dies, he would like to be in the "Guinness" Book of "Records"
  172. for receiving the most postcards in the mail. Please send him lots of
  173. postcards at the below address:
  174.  
  175. Kibo, PO Box 722, Boston MA 02116-0722 (USA)
  176.  
  177. Although he is very ill and only barely clinging to life, he gets thousands
  178. of postcards a day from people like you. He writes back, personally, to
  179. each and every single one. Amazingly, everyone who writes to Harry recieves
  180. a year of good luck afterwards! Mrs. Bertha Briggs of Poughkeepsie, NY
  181. recently wrote to Harry and then won the lottery the very next day--AND her
  182. dog was cured of cancer! Plus, if you write now, Harry will send you
  183. his miracle POSTCARD DIET which will allow you to lose 100 pounds a week!
  184.  
  185. THIS IS NOT A SCAM!
  186. This service is FREE!
  187. Please enclose $14.95 for postage and handling.
  188.  
  189. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  190.  
  191. HANDY "TWIN PEEKS" CHART [murder]<-->[LAURA]<--/-->[Bob]<--["Bob"]
  192. | ^ | ^
  193. This is fun to read even if you haven't v v v |
  194. seen the series. I like my chart, and [David [That FBI guy] ["J.R."]
  195. I've never seen the show! Lynch] ^ ^
  196. / | |
  197. v [donuts] [Bobby in
  198. [the log lady]<->[flouridation]-->["Eraserheads"] = the shower]
  199. ^ ^ [sex] |
  200. | | /->[Monty Python's Flying Circles] v
  201. [bag [lumber- /->[Ted Bundy]
  202. ladies] jacks]<--["RoboJox"]<->[VW]<->[FOX]-->[Al&Peg Bundy]
  203. ^ | ^ \->[Children]
  204. | v |
  205. [the dog-faced boy]-->[Laura's<-/->[the Simpsons]<--[Life in Hell]<--[UseNet]
  206. evil twin] |
  207. v
  208. And remember, the name of the show is a breast metaphor. [alt.tv.twin.peeks]
  209. ^ ^ | ^
  210. / | v |
  211. [Mike Douglas]=[Douglas firs]-->[breasts] [drumsticks] [rmgroups] /->[logs]
  212. | \______________________________________/ ^
  213. v |
  214. [Albert]<--/-->[furry white rats]-->[green rats]-->[traffic [the log lady]
  215. ^ lights] (here too!)
  216. | [walk with fire me]---> ^ ^
  217. [Layland]<-->[Pinky Lee] | |
  218. | [Herve Villachaise]<--[tattoos] ["Bob"]
  219. [Dilbert]-->[Dogbert] | |
  220. \ v v
  221. >[neckties]->[sexual arousal]<------>[e-meters]<-------[L. Ron Howard]
  222. _____________________________________________________________________________
  223. My favroite sci-fi/fantasy short story is / VOTE NIXON / The SubGenius
  224. "The Eye of Argon" by L. Ron Hubbard! / IN 1992 / must wear slacks!
  225. _________________________________________/______________/____________________
  226. Best Skeleton Joke Ever: "What do you call fish bones?" "Skele-tuna!" :-)
  227. _____________________________________________________________________________
  228. I spell things the way I want, since William Safire is too wimpy to stop me!
  229. _____________________________________________________________________________
  230. "The medium is the message!" -- Marshall Mike Luhan / I'm a lumberjack...
  231. _____________________________________________________/_______________________
  232. I know the Green Golfball Joke! I'd post it here but BitNet doesn't allow
  233. R-rated jokes to be posted here so I won't post it! That's a violation of
  234. your unconstitutional rights and you should complain to your sysop!
  235. _____________________________________________________________________________
  236. MY TETRIS HIGH SCORE ON MY NINTENDO IS 999,990 -- THAT'S A WORLD RECORD!
  237. I HAVE PHOTOS OF THE TV SCREEN TO PROVE IT! THEY DIDN'T COME OUT THOUGH.
  238. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  239. \\\\\\\\\\
  240. \\\\\\\\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
  241. \\\\\\\\\\ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/
  242. \\\\\\\\\\
  243. \\\\\\\\\\ AMIGA ONLY! \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
  244. \\\\\\\\\\ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/
  245. \\\\\\\\\\ ___
  246. \\\\\\\\\\ /. .\
  247. \\\\\\\\\\ |\_/|
  248. \\\\\\\\\\ \___/
  249. \\\\\\\\\\ /####\ /######\ ### /##### /######\
  250. \\\\\\\\\\ ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ## ##
  251. \\\\\\\\\\ ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ### ## ##
  252. \\\\\\\\\\ ////////###### ## ## ## ### ## ### ########
  253. \\\\\\\\\\ //////// ## ## ## ## ## ### \##### ## ##
  254. \\\\\\\\\\ ////////
  255. \\\\\\\\\\ //////// /##### ### ### #####\ ### ###
  256. \\\\\\\\\//////// ## ## ## ## ## ## ## GRAFIX
  257. \\\\\\\//////// ## ### ## ## ######\ ## ##
  258. \\\\\//////// ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## WIZARD
  259. \\\//////// \##### \#######/ ## ## \#####/
  260. _____________________________________________________________________________
  261. _______________ | __ _ ____
  262. / \ |\/\/\/| r | |\\ | | \ / ,__\ AIR SUPPLY
  263. | "Have a cow, |__ | @ @ | a | ||\\ | |_/ \ | _ _ |
  264. | man!" / | ' | d | || \\ | | \ \\ | | |\ |\ | \ /
  265. \_______________/ | \___/ i | ||__\\ \ \\ | | |/ |/ | |
  266. | | c d | ||___\\ \ \\ \_/ | | |__ |
  267. a u | || \\ \\__// | | |
  268. as seen on BART l d | \__/
  269. FOX! SIMPSON e | THE MOST AWESOME HEAVY METAL BAND !!!
  270. _____________________________________|_______________________________________
  271. ^L
  272. ^L
  273. # # #### # # # ##### ######
  274. # # # ,, # # # # # # #
  275. # # # # # # # # # #####
  276. # #\__/# # # ##### #
  277. # # # # # # # #
  278. # #### #### # # ######
  279.  
  280. ## # # #### # # ###### #### ##
  281. # # # # # oo # # # # # # ##
  282. # # # # # # # # ##### # # ##
  283. ###### # # #\__/# # ## # # # # ##
  284. # # # # # # ## ## # # #
  285. # # ###### ###### #### # # ###### #### ##
  286.  
  287. HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  288.  
  289. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  290. PLEASE POST YOUR REPLIES TO THIS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY NET ADDRESS IS!
  291. ALSO PLEASE CROSS-POST TO LOTS OF GROUPS SINCE IT MIGHT NOT BE A GROUP I READ!
  292.  
  293. []---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
  294.  
  295.  
  296.  
  297.  
  298.  
  299. This blank region of empty space is a hollow void that adds lines to the
  300. length of this .signature's physical size.
  301.  
  302.  
  303. I cant think of anything more to add!
  304.  
  305.  
  306. []---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
  307. ***** ___ ___ _________
  308. * / \ / \ | _______ |
  309. * | V | | | * * | | HELP ME NAME MY
  310. * \ / | |_____| | APPLE SE/30 WITH
  311. * \ / | === | 40MB MEGABYTE DRIVE
  312. * \ / |_________|
  313. ***** v |||||||||
  314.  
  315. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  316.  
  317. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- Aren't these cute?
  318. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- I was the one who
  319. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- invented them.
  320.  
  321. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  322. |\
  323. ---*-- | \ TED FRANK IS A VIRTUAL LAWYER!!!
  324. -""" \__| \
  325. / : Qld : TAS \
  326. / :........ \
  327. ' SA : AA :.......*| x = Schenectady NY USA
  328. \ : * :NSW /
  329. \* :/""""""\`..x */
  330. ----' VIC\ *`./
  331. """"
  332. \"""/
  333. NT\*/
  334.  
  335. Dan Quayle is Howdy Doody! (And Susan Sontag is the Bride of Frankenstein!)
  336. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
  337. | S T O P C A S T I N G P O R O S I T Y |
  338. +____________________________________________________________________________+
  339. Did you know that in German, Usenet bboards are called Gruppenareabrettecholistennetzs?
  340. =============================================================================
  341. I've been to Cheers(TM) in downtown Boston and I have a T-Shirt that says
  342. Cheers(TM) and the official Cheers(TM) Plastic Souvenir Shopping Bag!
  343. Hey, is Ted Danson really as bald as they say? He couldn't be, his hair's
  344. fluffy, and wigs can't be fluffy! William Shatner wears a toupee though,
  345. I bet you didn't know that! I hope I never go bald. I'd lose my sex appeal.
  346. _____________________________________________________________________________
  347. Fats Loves Madelyn. / Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
  348. ___________________/_________________________________________________________
  349. "We're like gerbils. We're in a cage running around and around."
  350. -- Tom Brokaw
  351. _____________________________________________________________________________
  352. "OH WHAT A ZINGER!!!" -- CHRIS ELIOT / "Married With Children" is the best
  353. GET A LIFE / TV show ever! Ted is the greatest!
  354. _____________________________________/_______________________________________
  355. Fly KLM! / Did you hear that PeeWee Herman was arrested for masterbating?
  356. __________/____ Really!______________________________________________________
  357. Dana Hersey is Willie Whistle in addition to hosting The Movie Loft (channel 6)
  358. _____________________________________________________________________________
  359. Read alt.exploding.kibo, the group about exploding kibo! / NO FATE
  360. ________________________________________________________/
  361. I put microwave coffee in the Tater Twister and almost / KNOW FUTURE
  362. went back in time! -- Steven Wright (Emerson alumnus)/
  363. _____________________________________________________/ NO DOGS ALLOWED
  364. "NOT!" -- WAYNE'S WORLD / "The Stevemeisterooski!" /
  365. ________________________/__________________________/_________POOR SPOT______
  366.  
  367. "If I had MY OWN NETWORK, it would be on ALL the TIME. It would be EDUCATIONAL,
  368. like COSMOS and NOVA, but not so DRY. It would best be seen on HIGH-definition
  369. TELEVISION. And every DAY we'd READ from the BOOK of CHER, because when you
  370. READ from the BOOK of CHER, it doesn't MATTER if you UNDERSTAND... it's the ACT
  371. that MATTERS. MY network would be METAphysical, paraNORMAL, and EXTRAORDINARILY
  372. ORDINARY. It would COMPEL you to RELAX and read `MADAME BOVARY', LOOK into the
  373. MOUTHS of VOLCANOES and LEARN to make RISOTTO... It would have a LINEAR BUILD
  374. and ARISTOTELIAN LINES... MY network would be both JARRING and AVANT-GARDE...
  375. with just a TOUCH of BRIAN DENNEHY. MY network would not promote WAR, WASTE,
  376. DOUBT or ANXIETY, and would pose the question... What was MICHELLE PFEIFFER
  377. doing in `Grease 2'?" -- Sean E. Coates, the "E!" poster child
  378.  
  379. **************************(.signature continued)*******************************
  380.  
  381. HOW MANY POSTS A DAY I MADE LAST WEEK
  382. ***************************************************************************
  383. * *
  384. * *
  385. * *
  386. * *
  387. * *
  388. ** W*T T*W*T T*WT **
  389. * W*T*F M*T* *F * F M* *F M *
  390. * T* * * * * * * * * *
  391. * * * * * M * * * * *
  392. * * * * * * * * * * *
  393. * * * * * * * * * * *
  394. ** * * * * * * * * * **
  395. * M S*S SS S*S S*S *
  396. * * *
  397. * S *
  398. * ^Labor Day ^Sep 14 ^Sep 28 *
  399. * *
  400. * * * * *
  401. 240 -x- 280 0 -y- 15000***************************************************
  402.  
  403. WATCH MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 2000 ON THE COMEDY CHANNEL !!!
  404. *******************************************************************************
  405. MY TEN FAVORITE QUOTES: Broad-mindedness, n.: The result of flattening high-
  406. mindedness out. There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be
  407. burned for an opinion. All the good ones are taken. "Microwave oven? Whaddya
  408. mean, it's a microwave oven? I've been watching Channel 4 on the thing for two
  409. weeks." Murphy was an optimist. Love means having to say you're sorry every
  410. five minutes. No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats --
  411. approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. Get forgiveness now --
  412. tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty. Commitment can be illustrated by a
  413. breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.
  414. You are here ------> * But you're not all there. Kirkland, Illinois, law
  415. forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets. Love and
  416. scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. A clairvoyant is a person, commonly a
  417. woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron --
  418. namely, that he is a blockhead. A multi-day event on public television, used
  419. to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials. Try to get all of
  420. your posthumous medals in advance. The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the
  421. needs of an expanding bureaucracy. The intelligence of any discussion
  422. diminishes with the square of the number of participants. The hearing ear is
  423. always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom whereof the memory of man
  424. runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow. Good advice is something a
  425. man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. -- La Rouchefoucauld
  426. Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem. Eng. 130
  427. midterm. Once again no student received a single point on his exam. Newell
  428. has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average has now
  429. dropped to a phenomenal 30%"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm
  430. rich." -- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones] Marriage is the only adventure
  431. open to the cowardly. -- Voltaire The First Rule of Program Optimization:
  432. Don't do it. The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):
  433. Don't do it yet. -- Michael Jackson Goldenstern's Rules: (1) Always hire a
  434. rich attorney (2) Never buy from a rich salesman. The problem ... is that we
  435. have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the
  436. Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've
  437. piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows,
  438. raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to
  439. do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle
  440. Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the
  441. laboratory rats developed cancer. -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler" If
  442. a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape at about
  443. 30 miles/second. -- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming Peanut Blossoms 4
  444. cups sugar 16 tbsp. milk 4 cups brown sugar 4 tsp. vanilla 4 cups
  445. shortening 14 cups flour 8 eggs 4 tsp. soda 4 cups peanut butter 4 tsp.
  446. salt Shape dough into balls. Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie
  447. sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes. Immediately top each cookie with a
  448. Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie. Makes a hell of
  449. a lot. Gyroscope, n.: A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis
  450. and also free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to each
  451. other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the two mutually
  452. perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the other when the
  453. wheel is spinning and so that the entire apparatus offers considerable
  454. opposition depending on the angular momentum to any torque that would change
  455. the direction of the axis of spin. -- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate
  456. Dictionary. In fifteen minutes, everyone will be famous. -- Andy Warhol
  457. _______________________________________________________________________________
  458. THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT II WAS EVEN MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE FIRST
  459. MOVIE EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T REAL LIKE THE FIRST ONE! PHILLY EX 2 IS THE
  460. BEST MOVIE EVER!!!
  461. .--------------.
  462. .---' o . `---.
  463. .-' . O . . `-.
  464. .-' @@@@@@ . `-.
  465. .'@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ . `.
  466. .'@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ `.
  467. /@@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ O \
  468. / @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@@ @@ . \
  469. /@ o @@@@@@@@@@@ . @@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@ \
  470. /@@@ . @@@@@@ o @ @@@@@.@@.@@@@ o @@@@ \
  471. /@@@@@ @ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ \
  472. |@@@@@ O `.-./ . . @@@@\__/@@@@@ @@@ |
  473. / @@@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ . \ Full Moon +
  474. |@ @@@@ . @ @ ` @ @@ . @@@@@@ | 0 5:15:36
  475. | @@ o @@ . @@@@@@ | Last Quarter -
  476. | . @ @ @ o @@ o @@@@@@. | 7 3:55:27
  477. \ @ @ @ .-. @@@@ @@@ /
  478. | @ @ @ `-' . @@@@ . . |
  479. \ . o @ @@@@ . @@ . . /
  480. \ @@@ @@@@@@ . o /
  481. \ @@@@@ @@\@@ / O . /
  482. \ o @@@ \ \ / __ . . .--. /
  483. \ . . \.-.--- `--' /
  484. `. `-' . .'
  485. `. o / | ` O . .'
  486. `-. / | o .-'
  487. `-. . . .-'
  488. `---. . .---'
  489. `--------------'
  490.  
  491. I AM NOT A BOZO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  492.  
  493. ^L
  494. 
  495. ____|||||///
  496. / |||||//// TERMINATOR TWO: BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD !!!!!11
  497. / __ || ////
  498. | L| : === "Hasta la vista, baby!" -- ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
  499. | | __ : ___ =|= (a personal friend)
  500. | (_) :/__) |
  501. |/ | \| <--- THE TERMINATOR
  502. | .\ |
  503. \ \ \ : / I HOPE TERMINATOR THREE DOESN'T SUCK DEAD BUNNIES
  504. | HHH--- | THRU A STRAW LIKE BATMAN TWO !!!!!11
  505. \____:___/
  506.  
  507. "THERE IS NO BATHROOM" -- MY PAL ARNOLD, KINDERGARTEN COP
  508.  
  509. "HELP HELP! STAPLER MISFIRE!" -- DILBERT
  510.  
  511. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;::::;::::::::::::::
  512.  
  513. My son Herbie, age 7, needs a computer for school and I can't afford
  514. one, would anyone like to give us one? It would be a tax deduction for
  515. you! Herbie wants a Mac IIfx with a Color PostScript printer. He needs
  516. this by next week! All the other kids in his class have them already!!!
  517. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\
  518. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
  519.  
  520. STAR TREK RULEZ!!! ________^_______ ============= - - - - - - - - -
  521. \______ _____/\ / / - - - - - - -
  522. Write-in to Paramount V \ \_____/__/_ - - - - WHOOSH! - - -
  523. to keep them from killing Spock )|US ENTERPRISE/ - - - - - - -
  524. in their next movie!!!! |____________/ - - - - - - - - - -
  525.  
  526. TOP TEN STAR TREK QUOTES 10) "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
  527. 9) "Dammit Jim!" 8) "Spit it out, man!"
  528. 7) "I kinna do it Captain, I have not th' power!"
  529. 6) "Where's the beef?" 5) "They're BORN pregnant!"
  530. 4) "His BRAIN is missing!" "Oh... you noticed."
  531. ** send mail if you want the rest **
  532.  
  533. Majel Barett was only on STAR TREK because she was married to William Shatner.
  534. The new STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION new series that they're making
  535. now is too full of Yuppie bozos. And the special effects are too good.
  536. SHATNER COULDN'T DIRECT HIS WAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH BOTH HANDS AND A MAP!
  537.  
  538. ------------------------------------=-----------------------------------------
  539. I have discovered a truly wonderful proof of Fermat's Last Theorem, but
  540. unfortunately this .signature is too small to contain it.
  541. -----------------------------------=----------------------------------------------
  542. There exist no legitimate audio tapes of me admitting to being
  543. an alien, a government agent, a sexual pervert, or the
  544. camp-follower of little grey men from Zeta Reticuli.
  545.  
  546. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
  547. I watch Nick at Nite all day! Xibo watches stupid soap operas!
  548. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
  549.  
  550. MY .SIGNATURE IS MORE POSTMODERN THAN YOURS! (It's even autographed by
  551. William S. Burroughs. See--->?) /
  552. \/\/. \. Burroughs
  553. /
  554. I wish he hadn't stopped writing those Tarzan books though!!!!
  555.  
  556. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  557. I have an out-of-date copy of each of the following MTS manuals: Vol. 1, 2,
  558. 5, 7, 11, 14, 15, 16, and 24. If you want a copy, I'm selling 'em, $1 each.
  559. I also have lots of plastic bags for five cents each!
  560.  
  561. /\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
  562. _________
  563. / \
  564. | |
  565. \__\ /__/
  566. --| |--
  567. -| |-
  568. /| |\
  569. /////\\\\\\
  570. NUKE THE DAMN BUNNY ALREADY!!!!
  571. | _
  572. \ /
  573. UU __
  574. ==/ \
  575. /\__o |
  576. *|__\__/
  577. /_ \_ "boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp..." "BOOM!!!!!!!"
  578.  
  579. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  580. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  581.  
  582. ***** ***** ***** **************** ******************
  583. ***** ***** ***** ***************** ********************
  584. ***** ***** ***** ****************** **********************
  585. ***** ***** ***** ***** ****** ****** ******
  586. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  587. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  588. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  589. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  590. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  591. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  592. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  593. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  594. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** My *****
  595. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** name *****
  596. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** is *****
  597. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** short *****
  598. *************** ***** *************** ***** 'cause *****
  599. **************** ***** **************** ***** it's *****
  600. ***************** ***** ***************** ***** only *****
  601. ***** ****** ***** ***** ****** ***** four *****
  602. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** letters! *****
  603. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  604. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  605. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  606. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  607. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  608. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  609. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  610. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  611. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  612. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  613. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  614. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  615. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  616. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  617. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  618. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  619. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  620. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  621. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  622. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  623. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  624. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  625. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  626. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  627. ***** ***** ***** ***** ****** ****** ******
  628. ***** ***** ***** ****************** **********************
  629. ***** ***** ***** ***************** ********************
  630. ***** ***** ***** **************** ******************
  631.  
  632. AND THIS IS THE PART OF THE .SIG THAT BROKE MIKE JITTLOV'S AMIGA!!!
  633.  
  634. V guvax guvf dhbgr ol Qnir Oneel, zl snibevgr jevgre, rkcynvaf jul V
  635. bsgra jrne zl haqrejrne ba zl urnq jura V tb gb jbex:
  636.  
  637. Nyy lbh unir gb qb gb frr gur npphenpl bs zl gurfvf vf ybbx nebhaq
  638. lbh. Ybbx, va cnegvphyne, ng gur crbcyr jub, yvxr lbh, ner znxvat
  639. nirentr vapbzrf sbe qbvat nirentr wbof -- onax ivpr cerfvqragf,
  640. vafhenapr fnyrfzna, nhqvgbef, frpergnevrf bs qrsrafr -- naq lbh'yy
  641. ernyvmr gurl nyy qerff gur fnzr jnl, rffragvnyyl gur jnl gur znaardhvaf
  642. va gur Frnef zrafjrne qrcnegzrag qerff. Abj ybbx ng gur erny
  643. fhpprffrf, gur crbcyr jub znxr n ybg zber zbarl guna lbh -- Rygba Wbua,
  644. Pncgnva Xnatnebb, nalobql sebz Fnhqv Nenovn, Ovt Oveq, naq fb ba. Gurl
  645. nyy qerff shaal -- naq gurl nyy fhpprrq. Ner lbh pngpuvat ba?
  646. -- Qnir Oneel, "Ubj gb Qerff sbe Erny Fhpprff"
  647.  
  648. TO DECODE THE FUNNIST JOKE IN THE UNIVERSE JUST PIPE THAT THROUGH "UUDECODE(1)"
  649. _____________________________________________________________________________
  650. R-RATED GIF FOLLOWS, PRESS N NOW!
  651. ^L
  652.  
  653. O
  654. (.|.)
  655. ).( TIFFANY BRISSETE HAS A GREAT BOD! WOO WOO!!!! HUBBA HUBBA! YOW!
  656. ( | )
  657. \|/
  658.  
  659. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
  660.  
  661. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh.
  662. _____________________________________________________________________________
  663.  
  664. "100% gist-free!" -- Amy S. Brockman on Kibo's .signature.
  665. Compliment... or CONSPIRACY?
  666. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  667.  
  668. My favorite painters are Pollock, Rothko, Warhol, Dali', Miro', Tanguy,
  669. Rockwell, Warhol, and myself. I'm almost as good as Dali' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  670. My least favorite musical composer is Salieri, since he was a bozo.
  671. ____________________
  672. / \
  673. / \
  674. ^______________/ __ __ \______________^
  675. \ | / \ / \ | /
  676. \ | | o | | o | | /
  677. \ | \__/__ \__/ | /
  678. \ | / \ | /
  679. \ | \__/ | /
  680. BO- \____| __________ |____/ -ZO
  681. | / ________ \ |
  682. \ | / ______ \ | /
  683. \ |/_/ \_\| /
  684. \____________________/
  685. |
  686. |
  687. \ | /
  688. \----+-----/
  689. |
  690. |
  691. |
  692. /\
  693. / \
  694. / \
  695. _____________/ \____________ (clown shoes)
  696.  
  697. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  698.  
  699. Ich bin ein .signature Virus. Mach' mit und kopiere mich in Deine .signature.
  700. Don't ask what it means, just put it in your .signature, okay?
  701. _____________________________________________________________________________
  702. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS POSTING ARE SOLELY THE AUTHORS' AND DO NOT
  703. NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, RENSSELAER POLY-
  704. POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE, PENN STATE, IBM, NASA, HARVARD UNIVERSITY, SCIENTOLOGY,
  705. ATARI CORP., STANFORD UNIVERSITY, BITNET INC., SOFTWARE TOOL & DIE, INFOCOM,
  706. PRODIGY, RALSTON PURINA INC., JAPAN, LYNDON LaROUCHE, THE SYSOP OF USENET,
  707. GEORGE BUSH, THE LONDON TIMES, ORACLE CORPORATION, WILLIE WHISTLE, STAR TREK
  708. THE NEXT GENERATION, THE HOME SHOPPING CLUB, THE HAIR CHANNEL FOR MEN, OR THE
  709. CITY OF NEW YORK. HOWEVER YOU CAN'T SUE ME FOR SAYING ANY OF THIS BECAUSE
  710. IF YOU SUE ME YOU'D HAVE TO QUOTE ME IN COURT AND THEN I'D SUE YOU FOR
  711. QUOTING THIS COPYRIGHTED (C) MESSAGE!!! MY COUSINS ARE ALL LAWYERS !!!!!
  712. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  713. ******************************************************************************
  714. * NEW drawing! *
  715. * of a RADIK00L sword thats even BIGGER then the USS ENTERPRISE wow! *
  716. * *
  717. * ___ *
  718. * /\/ / ====@==== ///////// ---------
  719. * / _/ ``________// *
  720. * / / `------' -------------
  721. * / / *
  722. * __===__ / / *
  723. */ \/----+---------------------------------------\______ *
  724. *| | XCALIBER THE DECAPITATER!!!! \______________*
  725. *| | /~~~~~~~~ *
  726. *\__====_/\---+----------------------------------------/~~~~~~ *
  727. * \ \ *
  728. * \ \ *
  729. * \ \ *
  730. * \ \_ *
  731. * \ \ NOTE: This isnt a hyperdermic needel !!!!!! *
  732. * \ \ *
  733. * \/\_\ *
  734. * ITS SO GOOD I FRAMED IT !!!!*
  735. ******************************************************************************
  736.  
  737. aibophobia (ay' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of palindromes.
  738.  
  739. kibophobia (ki' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of Kibo.
  740.  
  741. kibophobik (ki' bo fo bik): n. The fear of Kibo's palindromes.
  742. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  743. I'M STILL 100% FLAMEPROOF! / I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! / HI MARK!
  744. ____________________________/____________________________________/___________
  745. If you type "rm *" right now I'll give you a million dollars!!!
  746. _____________________________________________________________________________
  747. Arsenio Hall is the black Johnny Carson but Byron Allen is the black Pat Sajak!
  748. But at least Byron Allen is funnier than Skip Stephenson or John Barbour!
  749. Conan O'Brien sucks because he has big hair and Monty Python isn't funny
  750. because it doesn't make any sense!!! JAY LENO ROCKS!!!!
  751. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  752. IBM's "AIX" operating system is better than "real" "UNIX" systems
  753. because "AIX" has "man" pages that show "pictures" of each "command"!
  754. Here's an "example", isn't this "cute"?
  755.  
  756. RM, DELETE(1,C) AIX Commands Reference RM, DELETE(1,C)
  757.  
  758. PURPOSE
  759.  
  760. Removes files or directories.
  761.  
  762. SYNTAX
  763.  
  764. one of
  765. +--------+ +------------+
  766. | rm |---| +----+ |--- file ---|
  767. | delete | +---| -f |---+ ^ |
  768. +--------+ ^ | -i | | +--------+
  769. | | -r | |
  770. | | -- | |
  771. | | -s | |
  772. | +----+ |
  773. +--------+
  774. ____________________________________________________ \o clip and save _______
  775. /O
  776. <--those are scissors
  777. .------------
  778. .--' o . . `--
  779. .-' . O . . `
  780. .-'@ @@@@@@@ . @@@@@
  781. /@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ .<--- Crater Parry -- I paid $15 for it
  782. ./ o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ at the Boston Science Museum!
  783. /@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@. @@@@@@@ O
  784. /@@@@ . @@@@@@@o @@@@@@@@@@ @
  785. |@@@@@ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@
  786. /@@@@@ O `.-./ . @@@@@@@@@@@@ @ Full Moon +
  787. | @@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@ @@@@ 2 17:08:58
  788. |@ @@@ ` o . @@ . @@@@@@ Last Quarter -
  789. | @@ @ .-. @@@ @@@@@@ 4 16:02:05
  790. \ . @ @@@ `-' . @@@@ @@@@
  791. | @@ @@@@@ . @@ .
  792. \ @@@@ @\@@ / . O . o
  793. \ o @@ \ \ / . .
  794. `\ . .\.-.___ . . .-
  795. \ `-' `-
  796. `-. o / | o O .
  797. `-. / . . .
  798. `--. . .--
  799. `------------
  800.  
  801. If this posting offends you, then you're a WEENERBRAIN!!!
  802.  
  803.  
  804. @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@
  805. @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@ @@
  806. @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@
  807. @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@
  808. @@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@
  809.  
  810. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
  811. .....Dedicated to the memory of DeForest Kelley.....
  812. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
  813.  
  814. -------\__/
  815. | * /
  816. |_____-/ BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS <-- SITE OF WORLD.COM PUBLIC ACCESS UNIX
  817. ONLY A DOLLAR A MINUTE PLUS CONNECT TIME!
  818.  
  819. AND NO I DON'T KNOW MICHAEL DUKAKIS PERSONALLY!
  820. ^L
  821.  
  822. 12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890XXXXX DON'T GO INTO THE X'S !!!!!
  823.  
  824. ^L
  825. ^L
  826. ^L
  827. ^D
  828. ^D
  829. ^D
  830. .
  831. exit
  832. stop
  833. bye
  834. ^C
  835. ^Z
  836. !sh
  837. !ed
  838. /exit
  839. quit
  840. q
  841. /quit
  842. ~x
  843. help
  844. help stop
  845. !help
  846. logout
  847. $signoff
  848. write sysop "how do i stop this ???"
  849. psot
  850. post
  851. ^P^O^S^T
  852.  
  853. this line intentionally left blank so that the following line will be #350.
  854.  
  855. THIS IS THE THREE HUNDRED FIFTIETH LINE OF MY .SIGNATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  856.  
  857.  
  858. the edn
  859.  
  860. P.S.:
  861. ----------
  862. >From mathew@mantis.co.uk Tue Jul 2 11:28:05 1991
  863. To: James 'Kibo' Parry <kibo@world.std.com>
  864. Subject: Re: Call for creation of alt.evolutionary.acceleration
  865. From: Industrial Poet <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
  866. Comments: Civilization is a momentary failure of entropy
  867. Date: Tue, 02 Jul 91 10:55:39 BST
  868. Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
  869.  
  870. Might I suggest adding the following quote to your .signature:
  871.  
  872. "It seems like it's time to retire the length-of-sig-wasted-bandwidth flame.
  873. The point really is, News is BIG and .signatures, even long ones, are small."
  874. - Mark-Jason Dominus <mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu>
  875.  
  876.  
  877. mathew
  878. ----------
  879. --
  880. --
  881. >From stev0@sti.com Sat May 9 01:19:46 1992
  882. Date: Fri, 8 May 92 22:19:07 PDT
  883. From: stev0@sti.com (Steve Berlin)
  884. To: kibo@world.std.com
  885. Subject: Re: your .sig
  886.  
  887. Hi there.
  888.  
  889. Thanks for your nifty .sig. I already got a copy from alt.fan.warlord,
  890. but with such a wonderful work of art, you can never have too many copies,
  891. can you? Well, of course you can! I mean, "Mona Lisa" is a damn good
  892. painting, but am I going to hang it in every room in my apartment? No!
  893. But I digress.
  894.  
  895. Anyway, to make your .sig a bit more "user-friendly", here is an index for
  896. it. The numbers, of course, refer to line numbers.
  897. I'll let someone ELSE do a table of contents.
  898.  
  899. Suggestions for index:
  900. 1) Append it to the end of the .sig
  901. 2) Include it as a seperate file
  902. 3) Just delete the damn thing, log off, and watch Ren and Stimpy
  903. or (my favorite): append it to the end of your sig, THEN log off and
  904. watch Ren and Stimpy.
  905.  
  906. - Stev0
  907.  
  908. 13, Rot - 610-623
  909. Address - 55-58
  910. Autograph, Burroughs, William S. - 527-533
  911. Child, Dying - 155-174
  912. Copyright - 86-88
  913. Credits - 19,20
  914. Dedication - 781-783
  915. Disclaimers - 22-25, 89-98, 142, 153, 216, 276, 474, 677-686, 772, 790
  916. Drawings, ASCII:
  917. Bozo - 644-670
  918. Brain - 28-37
  919. Bunny, Energizer, Being Nuked - 540-556
  920. Check, Amiga - 223-243
  921. Dog - 40-48
  922. Enterprise - 501-506, 692-695
  923. Simpson, Bart, Minimalist - 245-253
  924. Sword - 692-709
  925. Terminator - 478-489
  926. unknown (command flow?) 736-744
  927. unknown (computer?) 293-300
  928. End, The - 775-780, 831
  929. Favorites:
  930. Author - 77-81
  931. Font - 144-146
  932. Heavy Metal Band - 245-253
  933. Movie - 137-138
  934. Movie - 478-489
  935. Painters - 641-643
  936. Quotes - 388-440
  937. Quotes, Star Trek - 507-511
  938. SF Short Story - 207-208
  939. Skeleton Joke - 210
  940. Feh, Fee Fi Fo - 638
  941. Font, BUA - 257-273
  942. Font, Biggest UA - 559-609
  943. GIF, R-Rated - 626-635
  944. History - 2-16
  945. Line 350 - 828
  946. Manuals, MTS - 535-537
  947. Map, Australia - 308-320
  948. Map, Massachusetts - 785-788
  949. Map, Moon 442-473, 748-771
  950. Network, Sean Coates' - 350-362
  951. Peeks, Twin - 176-205
  952. Phobias - 712-716
  953. Posts Made, Number of - 364-386
  954. Quitting Attempts - 794-825
  955. Quotes, Random - 57-75, 83, 84, 99-135, 140-152, 212-214, 321-348,
  956. 490-497, 514-525, 723-734
  957. Scissors - 745-746
  958. Score, Tetris - 220
  959. Smilies - 303-305
  960. Space, Blank - 280-291
  961. Virus, .Sig, German - 672-674
  962. ====
  963.  
  964. Alt.alien.visitors elected me OFFICIAL Spokesman For The Planet Earth!
  965.  
  966.  
  967. ---------
  968.  
  969. In article <13bvonINN6il@darkstar.UCSC.EDU> carolo@cse.ucsc.edu signed:
  970. >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
  971. >Carol Osterbrock * Life is too short for 4 line .sigs
  972. >carolo@cse.ucsc.edu * -- well, if Kibo didn't say it, he should have
  973. >==============================================================================
  974.  
  975. ----------
  976. UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
  977. IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.
  978.  
  979. RMS told me to plug the League For Programmed Freedom in my .signature
  980. so I did. Join the LPF! RMS is cool.
  981.  
  982. SEE BATMAN 2 !!!!
  983. --
  984.  
  985. I HAVE A BLACK BELT !
  986.  
  987. --
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