Memories of Higgins: Coming to Terms

Oh God, finally, I thought I wouldn’t be able to connect.

Yeah, hi to you too, Dad.

Look, I don’t want to turn this into a shouting match over the… over the phone again, alright?

I just want to clear up a few things. Just want to clear up my conscience, is all.

Wait. Maybe I DO want to make this a shouting match over the phone, just to drill some things into that thick skull of yours. How’s that sound, huh?

Me? I’m perfectly fine, Dad! I mean, LA harbor just got blown up to kingdom come by God knows what, my ship is sinking and burning all around me, some of my crewmates are dead, I’ve got a pipe stuck in my spleen and my most recent phone bill is way overdue. So, yeah, I’m absolutely, positively fine!

Oh for Pete’s sakes, have you been watching the—damn, of course the media’s probably still in the blind about this. Yeah, we’ve just been… ugh… we’ve just been attacked by someone… or something. Damned unknowns hitting the civvie areas first before we pulled in to try to stop them all. There’s too many of ‘em, though, and they managed to take down the Coasties who tried to help us, God rest their souls. I think it’s just one destroyer against an entire battle fleet out here, now. Or at least that’s how it is until they blow us up, too.

Really, Dad? You still think me signing up for Annapolis was a mistake? Please, these are the kinds of situations I’ve been training for. We’re sailors; we’re supposed to expect worst-case scenarios at sea. Heh, I didn’t really plan on dying out here, but what can I do, I’ve been trained to expect this, too. I scored a combat posting, after all.

Ah, fuck, I think I moved that pipe a little too much in…

Oh, now you think I went too far with… with this, huh? Look here, Dad, I really don’t understand what you expect of me. Every time I exert myself, every single time I think I outdid your expectations, you come around and tell me I still felt short. I do my very best, I really do, and yet you still think it wasn’t enough. It’s hard to read you, because you suck at two-way communication. No wonder Mom left us…

Wow, very considerate there, Dad. Did you even stop to think how Mom felt? How… how I felt? Did you… ugh… did you even stop to consider how other people feel? Protip: you didn’t. You just didn’t. All you ever thought of was yourself. You were stifling to people who worked and lived with you. Your rules were too absolute. You just wanted results that met your criteria. Oh, you didn’t know that? Damn, you’re terribly dense. Yeah, I find my Navy experience extremely liberating. Since… since I made it here, I found a chance to be what I really want to be. I don’t have to worry about proving myself to anybody, most especially you… or maybe I do, otherwise I wouldn’t be calling you right now, would I?

But I guess that’s none of your concern, now. You said it yourself back then, you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. ‘You are not mine to lose’, you said. Pretty big words, even for you. Well guess what, it doesn’t bother me one bit! I’ve got nothing to lose, now. Whatever you think of me after this, I know it will be nothing of consequence. I’ll be bigger than you ever will be. They’ll remember me for this. Suck on that!

Hahaha… I think the shock’s setting in… I’m hearing things now… like, are you crying out there? Like really? Heh, I bet you’re… you’re regretting everything now huh? The gravity of the situation has finally hit you. Serves you right for being an uptight, self-serving bastard.

H-hey… It’s n-not all that bad for you, you k-know? They’ll probably i-interview you o-or something, l-like what they d-do for the f-families of war h-heroes. N-not a shabby t-tradeoff, don’t you think?

W-what was that old quote? ‘In peace, sons bury their fathers; in war, fathers bury their sons‘. Be proud, D-dad, your son’s gonna be hailed a h-hero. I hope y-you can live with that f-for the rest of y-your life. Think of i-it as my parting g-gift to you, y-you r-rotten, no-good son of a—

[A muffled explosion sound is heard before the line cuts dead.]

--Ensign Emerson Cooke was on his first cruise as a junior officer and member of Higgins’ Combat Systems Department, specializing in anti-surface warfare. When the first shots were fired, Cooke was off-duty and in his bunk. He was in the CIC almost immediately, observing as the destroyer’s weapon systems fell silent one after another due to effective enemy hits. Feeling unable to provide assistance to the others in the CIC, he volunteered to assist in damage control and rescue efforts. The young officer would lose his life trying desperately to evacuate the five-inch gun crew, who were caught in the ready ammunition magazine’s blast and were incapacitated. He managed to make the call written above before another explosion overwhelmed him. He is credited with saving the lives of two members of the gun crew out of an original three that he managed to get out of the below-deck gun mount (the last one that Cooke evacuated was Quilford). He was 24.--