Monica Anaconda and the Sacred Chalice

Xenoscum Aug 26th, 2018 (edited) 227 Never
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  1. >died in the real world, got Isekai'ed into this goofy place
  2. >went to a lake
  3. >got a sword from this chick in the lake, pretty sweet
  4. >cursed Sword, now I'm married, great
  5. >Now I got this sword that's after my dick, and some loser who follows me around, clapping coconuts together
  6. >no idea where the loser came from, can't get him to leave me alone
  7. >come to this town
  8. >some kind of witchhunt or something
  9. >witch is like two feet tall and wearing this goofy hat
  10. >keeps talking about summoning the knights who say nii
  11. >I'm mostly uninterested but the trial is amusing
  12. >some jackass pipes up
  13. >"I heard she turned Astolfo into an alp!"
  14. >guy in the back sucking dicks takes the dick out of his mouth
  15. >"I got better"
  16. >Witch starts saying some weird shit, starts drawing in the air in a circle
  17. >aww fuk
  18. >"-nii"
  19. >shit
  20. >"Ooooniiiii"
  21. >sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt
  22. >"Onii-chan!"
  23. >Out of the circle all these goat looking girls come running out, tackling people
  24. >One comes running after me, tackles me, says I'm her big brother or some shit
  25. >now I've got two waifus
  26. >go to this cave
  27. >some dork that started following me said there's some crazy ass rabbit down there
  28. >bullshit asshole, I'm not afraid of some fucking bunny shit
  29. >Go to the cave
  30. >some green haired, bunny eared girl is down next to some skulls, looks calm as fuck
  31. >I look back at the rest of the group, gotta be kidding me
  32. >while my back is turned, RKO out of nowhere
  33. >literally went from full armor to having my knickers off
  34. >she's going rabbit wild on my knob
  35. >after she's had her fun, continue on my quest
  36. >three waifus now, jesus christ make it stop
  37. >come to this castle, ask if they can feed and shelter us for the evening
  38. >french cuck starts screaming insults, says he has some kind of Sacred Chalice
  39. >suddenly I remember that I needed some kind of Sacred Chalice for some condition of being reborn in this world
  40. >Tell french cuck that I'm coming in to investigate the Sanctified Cup
  41. >hear catapult sling something into the air
  42. >whatever it is is fucking big, furry, and vaguely spiderlooking
  43. >lands on coconut clopping doof
  44. >Ushi-Oni then proceeds to strip and rape the clop hopper
  45. >Ok, now it's on
  46. >Begin the charge
  47. >shitload of cars show up
  48. >FBI written on side
  49. >Put cuffs on me, point to the little goat girl
  50. >sheeeeeeeeit
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