About half of one thing - does not conclude!

>Hunger.  That's what it is.  You're hungry.
>You can see a delicious looking steak oh... forty yards away.
>You can *smell* it.
>It smells AMAZING and you NEED IT.
>But you can't get it.  Not without a plan.
>There are one, two, three... twelve.
>There are twelve manticores between you and the steak.
>Each manticore is, inexplicably, aflame.

>Your eyes snap open.
>There are no manticores, and there is no steak.
>It was just a dream.
>But then why is there fire and burning?

>Oh shit, your house is on fire!  You should *really* do something about that.
>Oh SHIT, your best bro Dash was passed out on the couch!  You should *REALLY* check on her!

1/x

>Dash is nowhere to be seen.  Most of your belongings are ashes.  You probably can't save anything.
>fuck
>You barrel toward the front door, find it's already open, leap outside like an idiot, and breathe a sigh of relief.
>You're alive and unburnt.  Dash got away.
>You sigh sadly.  Your life is fucked.
>You sigh with confusion over how you should feel or what you should sigh about.
>You look back at the house and listen to the crackle of the fire.

>RUN JOKESTEAL.BAT
>Sounds like only fire lives here now.

>So where do YOU live?
>Cake?  No.  You don't want to discover new crevices where your body can hold frosting, which happens every damn time you sleep within ten feet of that loony.
>Fashion?  No.  She's objectively the worst horse.
>Apples?  Maybe... no, better not.  She's probably still harboring a grudge, which is stupid.  It's not like it's your fault she doesn't taste like apples.
>Books?  Yeah, books!  She's a pretty cool horse who doesn't afraid of anything.  You should go to her book house and make the sad eyes at her.

2/x

>With a light cough (inhaled some smoke?) and a bit of a chill (nothing but boxers!), you wander toward town.
>No, you do not remember why you insisted your house be away from everypony else.
>Yes, you are an idiot.
>No, nopony can see the fire from town.  Maybe the smoke if they look closely, but it's the middle of the night and they're all asleep.
>...Dash isn't.  She got up and got out, right?  Where did she go?
>You turn to detour over toward her place, just to check in on her.
>After a bit more walking (and a lot more hating yourself for the position of your house) you can see some light in the clouds.
>Dash is home.
"HEY, BRO!"
>A loud crashing sound and then the lights go out.
"YOU OKAY?"
>...
>...
>The lights come back.
>Dash slowly descends, refusing to make eye contact.
>"Yeah, I'm fine.  Why?"
"Glad to hear it, bro!  Was a bit worried when I woke up to burning and remembered you were passed out."
>"Wait, WHAT?"
"Yeah, remember?  Just like every other Friday.  I drank, you drank, I farted, you sharted-"
>"THAT WAS ONE TIME!  And that's not... look, it's SUNDAY night.  I haven't seen you since I got up and left Saturday morning."
>...huh.  Well that would explain how and why she got away.
>Fire from the future can't get you.

>There's an idea in there somewhere for a reeeaaally stupid movie.

3/x

>"Your house is on fire?"
"Yeah!"
>Wait, no, not yeah.  Don't sound so enthusiastic about that, you dipshit.
>"And instead of going to get the fireponies, you... came to check on me?  Because you slept *way* longer than can be healthy without realizing it and thought I was still there?"
"That about sums it up."
>Dash makes a face you can't figure out.
>"Okay.  Listen, we should probably try to put out the fire before-"
"Nope.  Not gonna work.  It's... it's an inferno back there.  All my stuff is already gone, the structure itself is likely to collapse any minute.  Now that I think about it, it's really weird that I slept so long in the first place and really REALLY weird that I slept through enough of the fire for my place to be that far gone before I noticed.  I was actually thinking I'd stay with books for a while.  Until I figure out where I'm gonna go."
>Dash shakes her head and puts a hoof over around you.
>"No way.  You're staying with me."
"...how?  Clouds don't people."
>It is a *miracle* you passed all your English classes.
>Dash looks left, then right, then left again, then up, before making eye contact with you and adopting a very serious expression.
>"I'm gonna let you in on a secret.  We're not supposed to *ever* tell a non-Pegasus, but I figure you're a special enough case.  There's a trick to the clouds.  Anypony, er... anybody can walk on them if they know how.  We just keep it hush-hush, just in case race relations turn sour and we need to split off."
>Your eyes get huge.  What secrets are the OTHER ponies keeping "just in case"?  What does Cake know?
>Dash motions for you to lean down, and you do.  She whispers into your ear and you understand.

>It's pretty simple.
>[CLOUD SECRET REDACTED]

4/x

>Day 9.
>You had the steak dream, *again*, but the manticores weren't on fire.
>You also had basically the best sleep of your life, *again*, because FUCK clouds are so goddamn comfy why the fuck didn't anybody tell you
>"Morning, Anon!" Dash says with more of that pep in her voice she's had lately.
>You're not sure why, but something about you rooming with her is putting her in super high spirits.
>And it's not spirits!  Or beer!  You've both had almost nothing to drink this week, and somehow still had a great time just... sitting around, bullshitting, chit-chatting...
>You two just... click.
>Weird.
"Morning, bro!"
>Except for that.  She always winces, just a little, when you call her bro.
>Did she always do that?  You don't remember it happening before the fire...
>Maybe you were just being an unobservant shitpile.
>That sounds like something you'd do.
>"Whaddaya wanna do today?  Catch a movie?  Go to the beach?"
> <tiny whisper font>"Fuck my brains out?"</tiny whisper font>
>You choke on your own spit.
>Did she just say what you think she said?

5/x