BOFH Excuses

#!/bin/python

"""
bofh.py: A Bastard Operator From Hell excuse generator.
"""

import notify2, random

# Odds of printing the optional fourth word, (0-100)
FOUR_PCT = 10

FIRST = [
    "Temporary", "Intermittant", "Partial", "Redundant", "Total",
    "Multiplexed", "Inherent", "Duplicated", "Dual-Homed", "Synchronous",
    "Bidirectional", "Serial", "Asynchronous", "Multiple", "Replicated",
    "Non-Replicated", "Unregistered", "Non-Specific", "Generic", "Migrated",
    "Localised", "Resignalled", "Dereferenced", "Nullified", "Aborted",
    "Serious", "Minor", "Major", "Extraneous", "Illegal", "Insufficient",
    "Viral", "Unsupported", "Outmoded", "Legacy", "Permanent", "Invalid",
    "Deprecated", "Virtual", "Unreportable", "Undetermined", "Undiagnosable",
    "Unfiltered", "Static", "Dynamic", "Delayed", "Immediate", "Nonfatal",
    "Fatal", "Non-Valid", "Unvalidated", "Non-Static", "Unreplicatable",
    "Non-Serious"
]

SECOND = [
    "Array", "Systems", "Hardware", "Software", "Firmware", "Backplane",
    "Logic-Subsystem", "Integrity", "Subsystem", "Memory", "Comms",
    "Integrity", "Checksum", "Protocol", "Parity", "Bus", "Timing",
    "Synchronisation", "Topology", "Transmission", "Reception", "Stack",
    "Framing", "Code", "Programming", "Peripheral", "Environmental", "Loading",
    "Operation", "Parameter", "Syntax", "Initialisation", "Execution",
    "Resource", "Encryption", "Decryption", "File", "Precondition",
    "Authentication", "Paging", "Swapfile", "Service", "Gateway", "Request",
    "Proxy", "Media", "Registry", "Configuration", "Metadata", "Streaming",
    "Retrieval", "Installation", "Library", "Handler"
]

THIRD = [
    "Interruption", "Destabilisation", "Destruction", "Desynchronisation",
    "Failure", "Dereferencing", "Overflow", "Underflow", "NMI", "Interrupt",
    "Corruption", "Anomaly", "Seizure", "Override", "Reclock", "Rejection",
    "Invalidation", "Halt", "Exhaustion", "Infection", "Incompatibility",
    "Timeout", "Expiry", "Unavailability", "Bug", "Condition", "Crash", "Dump",
    "Crashdump", "Stackdump", "Problem", "Lockout"
]

FOURTH = [
    "Error", "Problem", "Warning", "Signal", "Flag"
]


def generate_excuse():
    if (random.randint(0, 100) <= FOUR_PCT):
        four_words = True
    else:
        four_words = False

    if four_words:
        return "{} {} {} {}".format(
            FIRST[random.randrange(0, len(FIRST))],
            SECOND[random.randrange(0, len(SECOND))],
            THIRD[random.randrange(0, len(THIRD))],
            FOURTH[random.randrange(0, len(FOURTH))]
        )

    else:
        return "{} {} {}".format(
            FIRST[random.randrange(0, len(FIRST))],
            SECOND[random.randrange(0, len(SECOND))],
            THIRD[random.randrange(0, len(THIRD))]
        )

def main():
    notify2.init("BOFH")
    n = notify2.Notification(
        "BOFH Excuse",
        generate_excuse(),
        "security-low"
    ).show()


if __name__ == "__main__":
    main()