Sir Pentious join the Happy Hotel and exterminator story

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #806 - Owl edition
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I'd like to think the hotel will include Sir Pentious.
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I can see the exact scenario in my head.

>Sir Pent bites off more than he can chew
>AGAIN
>But this time it blows up in his face much worse than usual
>He's left with nothing
>His pocketbook is empty
>His raygun batteries are empty
>His stomach is empty
>He lived in the age of unchecked, freefalling poverty, when the lower classes didn't even rent rooms, they rented beds, and if they couldn't afford a bed for themselves, they shared with someone else, and if they couldn't even do that, they laid down their last haypenny for the right to head down to the basement and lean on a rope suspended between two walls to sleep
>Even that was still better than sleeping down in the gutter, because to be caught out on the streets was to invite robbery and murder and mutilation that would go uninvestigated and uncared for
>He thinks this is the end of him
>He'll flail about pointlessly for one more, miserable, painful year, prey for cannibals and lechers and slavers, then meet his final end when an exterminator angel catches him during the next cleanse and breaks him down like a butcher cutting up a rack of veal

>Then he feels a tap on his shoulder

>"The Happy Hotel has plenty of rooms you know"

>Accustomed to the cut-throat nature of Hell after over two centuries of scrabbling through it, he responds to Charlie's offer with bitter disdain

>"At what price, Princessssssss?"
>"A hundred years at your feet, as a ssslave?"
>"Two hundred?"
>"Three?"

>Charlie shakes her head

>"I don't make deals, Pentious"
>"I don't trade in souls"
>"The Happy Hotel is free"
>"All the payment I want is a promise that you'll be nice"

>The Archdevil Of Benevolence strolls back to her limo, takes her seat, but leaves the door open

>"All I want is for you to try to be better"
>"You don't have to succeed"
>"Just try"
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I could but I'm about as oiled as a diesel train right now and I just remembered that the whole reason I opened this thread in the first place was to shill my crappy exterminator story
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28290573/chapters/82643359
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>“So how are things up in Heaven? Is it all its cracked up to be?”

>Niffty had commented that she found her dialect of modern English to be strange earlier, but #382 thought the same of hers. Nonetheless, she was fairly certain she understood what the scarlet-haired being was asking, but was uncertain of how to answer.

>“How is it ‘cracked up’, may I ask?”

>“You know, rivers of milk and honey, streets paved with gold, puffy clouds everywhere? All of that?”

>“...I suppose it must be.”

>Niffty stopped what she was doing and gave her an inquisitive look.

>“We did not have much leisure time once we had taken up the mantle of the exterminators.”
>“Drilling and training was all.”
>“Opportunities to venture very far from the barracks were few.”
>“But I am sure you would be comfortable there.”
>“Many others seem to be, to the best of my knowledge.”

>“Sounds like you were all busy as bees?”

>#382 nodded.

>“Better to be busy than bored I guess~”

>#382 smiled. She liked Niffty. The little creature seemed so cheerful, so often. She didn’t seem as upset as the others by the fact that #382 was probably the guiltiest soul present in this place of redemption.

>“Give me a hand moving this? We need to take it out back to dust it.”

>Niffty had already begun to tug at the edges of a great rug that stretched from edge to edge of the room, carefully rolling it into a tight tube.

>Out back?

>#382 shook her head.

>“It was commanded that I should not step outside until I have specifically been given leave to do so.”

>Niffty seemed not to follow for a moment before recognition flickered into her vast eye.

>“Ooohh right, ‘cause you’re…”