Shmoits App

Hi, first thanks for applying.
I went over the questions 1 by 1, here are the things I would like to see fixed :)
(also pls make some space between question to another, for the sake of making it look cleaner).

[size=4][b]Section 1:[b][/size]

[b]Question 2:[/b]
Please elaborate further about Clans and Bloodlines, this is very short. Feel free to explain the antediluvians or whatever you find to suit.

[b]Question 3:[/b]
You explained about the Traditions very briefly, please go over it once again. You also forgot to include how your own character would view them, and how would he act.

[b]Question 4:[/b]
You didn't mention anything about Age.

[b]Question 5:[/b]
"commit Diablerie on another vampire of a lower blood potency."
It's not lower blood potency, it's lower generation. The lower the generation the higher the potency (simply fix that misspell).

[b]Question 3 (Section 2):[/b]
Sure, but you forgot about the Sect part :)


[size=4][b]Character Creation:[b][/size]

[b]Story:[/b]
Okay so about the story, I like how you planned your character and the way you crafted it. From reading your story I could definitely see you've put some time and effort into the character concept.

However, there were a few things that I would like you to elaborate further:
• I would like you to elaborate a little bit further about your relations with your sire, yes she was abusive and he got along. But the story does not include much information about her.
• So the african gang would be willing to provide you armory, would you please tell us why?

Please color the changes in white, so it would be easier to locate it in the story.


[b]Features:[/b]
Considering his past and the fact he diablerized thrice, I would say his Humanity should be somewhere around 4. On top of that, he would most likely have Black Veins in his aura, an RPF would have to be added.

Nine Lives:
Please give an explanation of why does he have this merit.