Chapter 22

>The movie seems to drag on forever as you huddle against Discord
>You're not exactly feeling the comedy of the moment
>Throughout the entirety of the film, Fluttershy whimpers quietly to herself
>Once the credits roll, Discord lets out a long sigh
>"You know, I'm thinking we should go on a vacation of our own!"
>He pats you on the shoulder
>"Let's all take a field trip. What do you say?"
>What CAN you say?
"O-Okay..."
>Fluttershy nods passively
>Discord hops to attention off the bed
>"Well?"
>You slide off the bed, trying to avert your eyes from the pile of bodies
>Fluttershy follows after Discord, still soaked in blood
"Y-You're not going to... Get rid of the... Or, what about Fluttershy?"
>Discord chortles
>"The fun is in the hunt, not in the tidying after. I have clean-up for that! And Fluttershy can just wipe herself off with a towel. But please, both of you hurry up."
>You stand by awkwardly as Fluttershy cleans herself up
>Her cosplay isn't too stained, though, there wasn't much to stain in the first place
>Once she's finished, she picks up her rifle, toting it on her shoulder
>"And now, let's go!" Discord says
>Trailing behind Discord and Fluttershy, you exit the room, leaving Schooner and the rest to rot in this hotel room until Discord's people 'clean them up'
>They'll just... Disappear from existence, impending cold cases
>And you had a hand in part of it
>Even if you didn't want to, you... Someone is DEAD because of you
>And Moondancer... Who knows how much tonight is going to fuck with her head
>You?
>You feel like you should be more disturbed, viscerally, but...
>Passing through the convention hall, you notice that there's still quite a lot of people here, chattering in large groups
>"EGGHEAD!"
>Rainbow Dash rushes over to you, a trophy in her hands
>"I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU!"
>She turns to Fluttershy, first confused, then ecstatic
>"Dang... Awesome cosplay, Fluttershy! Seriously! And... Random guy. Nice Kamina."
>Discord smiles
>"That's quite an accurate Haruhi you have. Congrats on the win."
>"Worked on it myself. Rainbow Dash doesn't do anything half-assed."
>Rainbow smiles back at Discord before turning to you and Fluttershy
>"Anyways, I'll catch you two later."
>You all wave Rainbow Dash off
>Discord nods to himself as Rainbow heads back to Trixie and the Anime Club
>Rainbow points you out to them, and they all wave and smile at you
>You wave and smile back
>"You guys didn't tell me you had a friend with so much spunk! Rainbow Dash, huh? I like her."
>Oh fuck no
"I... Don't think you should..."
>Fluttershy nods
>"Rainbow... No, you wouldn't like her."
>"Oh, we'll see, I suppose... Anywho, let's head off!"
>You follow Discord out to his gaudy, anime laden car
>Fucking hate how he just gets to toy with you
>Already did the whole fucking Canter Con thing...
>Now a road trip?
>Once you get inside the car, you ask him a question
"Where exactly are we going?"
>"Oh, nowhere far at all. But I think it'll be a place you like."
>The car starts up and begins playing more music from the Gurren Lagann OST
>You just want to go home and forget all this shit ever happened
>Get out of this fucking cosplay
>Staring out the window, you watch as Canter Con disappears behind you
>As the car ride continues, Discord blabbers on about why he likes Gurren Lagann
>His thoughts on the first half versus the second half
>You don't really listen, and—
"That's..."
>The buildings around you are starting to look familiar
>Too familiar
>Once the car pulls up outside Treehugger's apartment, you begin to feel the way you thought you should've been feeling this whole time
>In complete despair
>"Here we are! I know you girls like this place."
"D-Discord! I thought you were going to leave her alone!"
>"I never said anything of the sort! I've only met with this Treehugger once, and if she's just so GREAT that both of you run off to her, well, she must be a swell lass. We can all hang out, have a good time... Now come on, let's all head inside! Don't want to keep her waiting."
>Discord smiles and heads out of the car
>Fluttershy follows, looking annoyed
>You try to keep yourself from falling to pieces
>Otherwise... That might be the state you'll find Treehugger in
>If you don't play along with Discord, only bad things can happen
>Hopping out of the car, you follow Discord and Fluttershy up into the apartment and to Treehugger's door
>Maybe this will just be another flight of insane fancy, but this time—unlike all the other times—no one will die!
>Fuck, please, no!
>Why!
>"Twilight, are you crying? There's no reason to cry. We're visiting a friend! Now go on, knock on the door."
>Discord stands off to the side with Fluttershy and gives you a thumbs up
>Trembling, you look on at the door
>You brought that fucking autist to Discord...
>Now you're bringing Discord to someone you actually care about
"I..."
>"It's just knocking on a door, for God's sake. Twilight, I believe in you!"
>This time he gives you two thumbs up
>If you don't do this... Something worse than whatever it is Discord's planning will happen
>That much you do know...
>You knock on the door and wait
>A few moments later, it creaks open, revealing a smiling Treehugger
>"Spark Bug! Been a while."
>She looks you up and down
>"Woah, neat clothes. Really diggin' it. Come on in!"
>Treehugger opens the door wider to welcome you
>Discord walks over to your side with Fluttershy, placing a hand on your shoulder, beaming at Treehugger
>"Hello again, friend!"
>Her smile dissipates immediately, though she tries to hide her fear
>"H-Hey, man..."
>"You're going to let us in, aren't you? We drove a long way."
"Treehugger, I-I'm so sorry..."
>Discord laughs, pushing himself through the door, you along with him
>"Sorry? I'm sure we're not inconveniencing her TOO much. Are we?"
>Treehugger stands aside, letting you all into her apartment, the thinnest veneer of pleasantry at surface while a bead of sweat runs down her forehead
>"Not... It's no problem at all, man."
>She closes the door behind you and walks off briskly to her couch
>"Uh, have a seat, guys. N-Need anything?"
>Discord takes a seat on a chair off to the side of the room
>"Oh, no, we're all fine."
>Fluttershy takes a seat on his lap
>"Twilight—'Spark Bug'—why don't you take a seat with your friend over there."
>You gulp and turn to Treehugger, deep regret strewn across your face
>Not wanting to fuck this situation up any more, you walk over to Treehugger and sit next to her
"I'm so sorry..."
>She puts an arm around you
>"Everything's fine. You didn't do anything wrong. We're all... We're all friends here, right?"
>She laughs uneasily
>However, she stops laughing when Discord pulls the gun out, pointing it at the two of you
"Hey! Please, I did what you wanted! Discord, please!"
>"Can I ask you a question, Treehugger?"
>You can feel her bones chattering as she shakes, pulling you closer to herself
>"Shoo—Sure..."
>Discord chuckles slightly
>"That would've been a fun little accident... But, no, what I wanted to ask is—"
>He moves the gun from side to side, slightly, Fluttershy frowning slightly on his lap as he does so
>"—which one of you should I shoot?"
"Discord, please! She didn't do anything, I—"
>You shut your mouth as he brings the gun over you
>Both you and Treehugger are trembling in each others' arms
>Fluttershy mutters to herself
>Probably about how he should shoot you...
>"I wasn't asking for your input, Twilight. Though, it is appreciated. ANYWAYS—"
>Discord stands from his seat and walks over to you and Treehugger, gun at his side
>"—what should I do, Tree Embrace?"
>Treehugger puts her arms across your chest, and takes a deep breath
>"Fuck you, man... And fuck your negative ass vibes. Do what you want. Just leave her alone."
>Discord laughs, gripping at his sides
>"Vibes?!"
"Sh-She didn't mean it! Just... Don't—"
>Discord brings the gun to Treehugger's head, pushing her back into the couch
>You yelp, and try to push him out of the way, but he holds you back with his free arm
>"Twilight, please, you're making such a big fuss out of this!"
>Tears are streaming down your face, and Treehugger's
>"Spark Bug, it's okay, man."
"PLEASE, PLEASE! DON'T!"
>Fluttershy yawns and rolls her eyes, looking at you with condescension
"Sh-She's your friend too! Y-You can't just—"
>"Can't just what?"
>FUCKING FLUTTERSHY
>FUCKING DISCORD
>FUCKING YOU
"STOP!"
>Discord sighs
>"REALLY. You're making this so much bigger than it needs to be."
>He smiles and peers into Treehugger's eyes
>"Now. What would your last words be? Please, try and be creative."
>"Please don't, man..."
>Discord smirks
>"'Please don't'? That's pretty weak. I mean, it makes sense..."
>"Don't hurt her."
>Discord bobs his head from side to side, considering Treehugger's new words
"Discord, please, just stop!"
>"Twilight. I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Pick a number, and if it's the one I'm thinking of, I won't shoot."
>FUCK
"Uh... Seven?"
>Discord makes a buzzer noise
>"Spark Bug, it'll be—"
>He pulls the trigger
>Smattering Treehugger's face with water
"What... What the fuck!"
>"You should've seen the look on your faces! Priceless! PRICELESS!"
>Discord nearly doubles over in laughter
>Beside you, Treehugger slumps into the couch, shaking, her face streaked with tears and water
>"You—You really thought it was all over! Bang! Like that! Ha!"
>He brings up the gun and begins squirting both you and Treehugger with water, giggling as small spurts land on your faces
>You bring your arms up to your face
>This... Things are always surreal with Discord, but the constant shit he's putting you through...
>You're relieved, beyond relief, that Treehugger is okay, and you're not even able to feel anger or terror right now
>Discord gives a few more pulls of the trigger before sighing and resting his hands on his hips
>"You know," he says, smiling at you through his Kamina glasses, "I think I see why she's been stealing you girls away. Willing to die for you! Woo, that is crazy."
>In the corner, sitting on her chair, Fluttershy is quivering in anger
>"Are you actually going to kill her now?"
>"What? Why would I do that?"
>Fluttershy stands up and slowly approaches you, drawing out a knife
>You slide over into Treehugger
>"It's not fair!"
"I-Isn't she your friend too!"
>"She means more to you than to me! You're always fucking up, but Discord doesn't..."
>She lets out a growl and raises her knife, staring daggers into Treehugger
>"Tsst," Discord hisses, squirting Fluttershy with his water gun
>"Bad Fluttershy. No," he says in a babying tone
>"But—"
>He squirts her again and her arm falls to her side
>Then, she collapses to the ground, letting out a harsh, guttural cry
>"WHY! SHE HASN'T EARNED ANYTHING!"
>On hand and knee, she begins to grope for Discord's crotch, only to receive more water in the face
>This fucking yellow psychopath only seems crazier and crazier every fucking time you encounter her
>Discord turns to you and Treehugger, frowning
>"Yikes, am I right?"
>He lets out a breathy chuckle
>"I'm sorry about her. Fluttershy's usually great around people!"
>You look down at fluttershy as she shudders with her whole body in a terrifying display of absolute despair
>If you were in the mood for wry observation, you'd probably be thinking about anti-spirals right now
>But you're not
>Instead, you are simply glad that Discord has such a hold on Fluttershy
>And it seems like the more she's acting out, the more it puts you in his good graces
>As little as you want to be in anything of his
>You word your next words carefully—telling Discord what to do hasn't been going over well for anyone, lately
"Fluttershy is... Making this awkward..."
>He nods
>"This was supposed to be a fun outing, but I suppose Fluttershy wasn't finished being a disappointment. No you weren't, no you weren't!"
>He talks to her like she's a pet, squirting her playfully
>She doesn't seem to react
>"Treehugger, I know I'm cutting this short, but I'm afraid we'll just have to continue this later. Fluttershy needs some attention."
>He slings the yellow psycho over his shoulder, and she just hangs limp and sobbing
>"I think it would be best if I just left you here. Fluttershy likes to be alone when she gets all DRAMATIC. You understand, don't you?"
"Um... Yes, yes I understand..."
>He smiles brightly and gives you a wave
>"Remember. Believe in the you who believes in yourself! And don't let anyone tell you Gurren Lagann is bad. You know, I've sort of understood why the second half might turn off some people, but—"
>Discord stops himself and laughs
>"I'll be here forever if I start on this."
>You try to laugh
"Y-Yeah..."
>"I'll see you girls later. Toodles!"
>With some finger waggling he exits, Fluttershy's loud wailing echoing into the apartment from the hall
>You just sit down with Treehugger, neither of you talking nor doing much of anything
>Both of you just need some time to... Take in what had happened
>Fluttershy's sobs eventually fade out completely
>Treehugger stands, shaking as she paces
"I'm... I'm sorry."
>"For what?" she stammers
"For... This. For everything."
>She sighs harshly, wiping her face dry with her shirt
>"I don't think you brought that fucker here because you wanted to... Fuck, I need to..."
>Treehugger disappears into another room for a few moments, before returning with a joint and a lighter
>She lights it and puts it to her lips, inhaling deeply
>It doesn't seem to calm her down much, still jittering as she walks back and forth in front of you
>"Fuck, man..."
>She falls beside you onto the couch, shaking her head
>"I really thought that was going to be it, man... Fuck." Treehugger takes another shaky puff, then holds the joint out in front of you. "Want to?"
"N-No... It's okay..."
>You slump into Treehugger, letting your entire body go slack
>Today...
>After a week of returning to your hikikomori lifestyle, listless and grungy, today hit like a fucking sledgehammer
>There was no escaping from this shit
>Hell, trying to escape, not visiting Discord... That could've spurred on all of this shit
>Now here you were, in some stupid anime cosplay, after almost seeing your friend get her brains blown out
>Maybe it's luck that Discord is as crazy as he is
>It could have been a real gun, after all
>Treehugger continues to tremor, and you can't tell how much of your own shaking is hers and what's your own
>After a whole fucking day of running around, fighting, and everything else... You must smell awful
>Does she notice?
>Fuck, why even think about that right now?
"Treehugger?"
>She turns to face you as you lean against her shoulder
"Why would you... Why would you do what you did? You could have died, and... I'm not worth that."
>As she puts her arm around you, you feel that familiar sense of calm fall over you, though she is still trembling herself
>"I just did what I did, Spark Bug. I didn't really think about it."
>You nuzzle yourself against her chest, taking a deep breath
>That hazy, drug-infused air of her apartment has almost become reflexively soothing
>It was "her smell", you suppose
>Sounds creepy when you put it like that
>Treehugger pulls you in tighter and sighs sharply, looking tense
>Her eyes are drawn over your clothing as you fiddle with the core drill on your necklace
>"So... What are you wearing, exactly?" she asks, trying to move past what had just occurred
"It's a Simon the Driller cosplay... Discord... He dragged me to a convention for some fucked up shit... I... I tried to do what he wanted, to keep you—everyone—safe, but he still came here... It's my fault..."
>"Spark bug, it's okay," she says, rubbing her hand along your arm. "What happened? Or... Do you not want to talk about it?"
>You shift, lying your head down onto Treehugger's lap, looking up at her with your legs hanging off the arm of the couch
>Talking about this...
>You got somebody killed
>At the time, you weren't overwhelmed with guilt
>'Everyone would be okay', you thought
>Now, you see that whether or not people will live or die is all up to Discord's fickle whims
>Perhaps that's why he drove out here with you and Fluttershy
>Schooner's death was meaningless
>And who knows what's going to happen with Moondancer...
>No, you shouldn't put that on Treehugger
>She's done enough for you, hell, she was willing to put her life above yours
>There was a silence between the two of you and she frowned
>One hand ran along your arm, the other against her lips as she smoked
"I... I keep thinking that there has to be some way through this..." you say, staring at the ceiling. "Things feel hopeless."
>"A little," she replies with a small smile that fades slowly into a subtle frown
>Your breath sharpens slightly as fingers run through your mangy hair
>"Things might be okay, Spark Bug..."
>Treehugger's voice was infused with melancholy
"Might..."
>"Yeah."
>There's a swelling inside of you—of stress, exhaustion, anguish, threatening to burst out of you, splitting your skin if it must to escape
>You hold it back
>Too much crying today, this week, this month...
>Crying isn't going to do anything for you, for Treehugger, your family
>Someone cries because things could be better, but if you somehow made it out of this Discord thing, then what?
>What real connections have you made?
>No matter how much you try to reach out, you'll always be in a no man's land
>A phantom trying to grasp at the real
>Normal people, the way they FEEL with one another...
>That's not something you've felt, is it?
>Maybe you know more people, have had your experiences with them, but there's still that gap
>One, you assume, that's wider than it should be
>It's not that you're heartless and cruel, like Discord—you want to be where everyone else is—but you feel blind and fumbling when it comes to finding where that is
>You reach up and grab one of Treehugger's locks in your finger tips
>It feels surprisingly like rope, you find, as you let your arm fall back down to your side, her fingers still gently gliding through your hair
"I'm sorry... For everything, like I said, but..."
>"But?"
"All I've ever done to is throw my baggage on you," you say, frowning. "What else do I do when I'm here, but ruin your day? It's never a happy occasion when I'm here, or whatever... It's... I-I'm using you, aren't I? Isn't that what it is? Because you're a good person, and I'm not. I'm just... Awful."
>Treehugger's eyes peer into yours with a faint warmth
>"Do you spend all your time away from here thinking of new ways to beat yourself up?"
>She grips your arm, as if to try and reassure you
>"You can only do what you can do, you know? People being there for you... That's not a ding against you, Spark Bug. The shit you've been through... Fuck, you're the one going out there for everyone else. How's that using?"
"I don't know... Maybe I am just saying stuff to, to make myself feel bad or something, but it feels true to me. None of this would have happened if I just stayed inside like I was supposed to."
>"C'mon, Spark Bug. This stuff again? Why're you supposed to be all by yourself?"
>You shrug as her thumb brushes against the top of your forehead
"It's the same stuff, but... Different. Everything I did to get myself in all this trouble, as stupid as it sounds, I did it to be popular. Well-liked. To 'be cool'. I didn't care to, you know, actually know or care about anyone else. It was all to make me feel better about myself, or something gay like that."
>Shifting once more, you move yourself upright, your legs forming a tent over Treehugger's as you lean against her
>You think about how much your life has changed as of late, and how much it hasn't
>All the surreal criminal element shit, all the violence...
>Put that aside, and you still feel basically as trapped within yourself, even if you have more 'friends' now
>How well do you even really know some of them?
>Sunny's going to get herself killed because of what you've done, you have such strong feelings for her, but... How much to you really know her?
>How much have you cared to really know about her?
>You were always only ever complaining to her about meaningless shit until recently
>She cared about you, lots of people did, and maybe that's just the way people work
>And you don't know what's keeping you from doing the same
>It was always, 'just be cooler, 'just be hotter', 'just do some other stupid shit to get people to flock to you'
"I'm just worried that things haven't changed... That I'm just going to be stuck forever. That maybe my head's just been put on wrong and I don't know what it's like to—Ugh, this is just dumb stuff that I'm blabbering about."
>"It's not dumb," Treehugger says, holding you to her chest. "Like I said before, Spark Bug, no one who beats themselves up so much can be a bad person."
>You feel so autistic for piling your self-loathing musings onto her
"I don't know... If I was a good person, I would be where I am, would I?"
>"Here?"
"You know what I mean..."
>She chuckles softly
>"I know what you mean... If you don't believe in yourself, Spark Bug, you're just going to have to trust that I believe in you. A lot."
"I thought you didn't know what I was wearing."
>"I don't. Why?"
>You smile as you nestle against her
"Never mind."
>"Maybe you don't think it, man, but I'm glad every time I get to see you. Like, yeah, not a fan of the crazy guy, but that's not your fault. And even now, you've still got such a glow to you, Spark Bug."
>You frown, feeling as though you don't deserve any of her positive feelings towards you
>"Before all this, what was I doing? Flutters bringing over some guy or girl every now and then—before I knew what a bitch she was—that was my life. That, and buying from my dealer, and getting high and other shit."
"What about all the traveling and stuff?"
>She shrugs
>"Back when I was still going to real college... Yeah, those were good times, but online's all I got after getting into shit for the things I did recreationally..."
>Oh, you'd thought she was still going to the university in the city...
>Guess you never really bothered to talk to her about this sort of stuff
>"No matter how much you try to think that you just need to be 'okay with yourself', just being okay with yourself isn't enough. That's what you showed me, man."
"That doesn't sound like a good thing..."
>She laughs and runs her hand through your hair roughly, and you laugh as well
>"You've gotta have people you like around you as well. Gotta have both. The more the merrier, right? I'm always happy when you're around."
>Treehugger's smile engenders a warmth inside you
"I guess... I just feel like I don't really have either. I mean, I like you... You're great. But I'm just scared I'm not doing that right..."
>"Why?"
"Just a fear, I guess."
>"I don't think that's anything you need to be afraid over. You're worried you don't care as much as you could? Maybe that's just because you have so much to give, Spark Bug... I can see that in you."
>You rustle in her arms
"How can you... 'See' anything in me? Or people's auras or whatever? What's that mean?"
>"It's just a feeling I get about people. And I feel really good about you," you she says, touching a finger tip to your nose. "Let yourself feel good for once, man. All this negative stuff... It can't be very healthy."
"Yeah, probably not."
>She laughs
>"Or do you need more 'stoner wisdom' from me?"
"I'm always up for that," you say with slight cheer
>You look at the joint between her lips
>Maybe you could go for a little something right now to calm yourself
>She notices you watching her smoke
>"Changed your mind?"
>Treehugger holds the bud out and you take it
>Haven't done it this way before, but you put it to your lips and inhale
>The second it hits your lungs, you begin coughing
"I... Didn't expect it to be like that," you say, clearing your throat
>Treehugger chuckles
>"I like eating it more. Smoking it just gets you high faster."
>You try again, taking a smaller puff
>Not as bad this time, but that's definitely a feeling that takes getting used to, you think
>A tingle goes through your body
>Definitely weird feeling like this with such immediacy
"I think I'll stick to cupcakes and brownies..." you say, handing the joint back to her
>Treehugger smiles and takes a long drag
>Thinking about it, this was one of those 'indirect kiss' sorts of things
>You blush slightly as it crosses your mind
>This friendship with Treehugger... You feel close to her, but you're not quite sure what you feel
>At the very least, you know that everything else, all your worries, feel so much further away when you're here
>The rest of the day really does start to melt away
>You and Treehugger huddle against one another, smiling faintly
>Looking around the room, you notice there are still bits of soil all over the place
>You and Rainbow Dash really messed this place up... But Treehugger cleaned everything up pretty well
>Maybe she still has some of that punch left, just to help put everything in the back of your mind even more...
>Nah, it's fine, you think
>The slight buzz and Treehugger are more than enough
>Even your self-loathing recedes slightly as the high settles in, relieving you like weight lifted off your shoulders
"Thanks for being... You, I guess," you say, laying your head against her chest. "I-I don't know why you put up with me, but I'm glad you do."
>"I just want you to see what I see, is all. You're a good kid."
>Still hard to take that kind of idea seriously, but it doesn't sting this time
>Though, you can still think of a cornucopia of reasons you're a fucking autist
"I'm still a pretty big loser... Like, did you know I can recite the entire opening scene to The Dark Knight Rises by heart?"
>Treehugger laughs
>"Really?"
>If you weren't a high, you probably wouldn't be doing this
>You start making the sound of a jeep speeding along, bringing friends it shouldn't have
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scaalqVFRZY [Embed]
>"Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA," you begin
>Line by line, you go through the whole scene, Treehugger looking rather amused as you play it all out in front of her
>When the big lines come up, you really sell them
>And you'd never do the Bane voice in front of people normally, but you honestly are pretty proud of it
"NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE MASHK."
"If I pulled that off, would you die?"
"IT WOULD BE EXSHTREMELY PAINFUL"
"You're a big guy..."
"FOR YOU."
>You even do all your own sounds effects, throwing your hands around to emphasize explosions
>The whole time, you kind of want to kill yourself, but for you keep going up until the last line
"Um... So, yeah..." you say, flushed with embarrassment
>Treehugger claps lightly for you, laughing
>"That's some dedication, Spark Bug. Though, can't say I know what any of that meant. I haven't actually watched that movie."
"It's not that good, honestly. It's actually kind of bad."
>She chuckles again
>Something about it causes you to smile, still somewhat red in the face
>"Why would you memorize the entire opening of a movie that's not good?"
"Um..."
>That's a good question
>Going into the dank memeology of the infamous scene would be WAY too spergy
>Suicidally spergerous
>But apparently, weed makes you unable to contain your power level, so you literally start talking about /tv/ and 'baneposting'
>Treehugger just sort of sits there as you ramble at her
>God... Is this shitposting in real life?
>If you have to be on drugs to be autistic, well, then you probably weren't REALLY autistic, right?
"And, you know, life imitates art and shit. Like, this guy crashed a plane—4U—with no survivors, and essentially baneposted in real life."
>"Dude, that's kind of morbid."
>You nod
>It kind of is
>Thinking about it, it is pretty messed up how completely hilarious you found that at the time
>Laughed so hard you scared Spike awake
"I guess this is my way of trying to prove that I'm, like, lame I guess."
>Treehugger messes up your hair, and you let out a playful shriek
>"Nothing wrong with being a little eccentric. Better than being like bland tofu or something."
"Don't you like tofu?"
>"Bland tofu is still BAD, man. Most people don't get how you're supposed to use it..."
>For the first time since you've met her, the two of you talk into the night, not about 'pressing matters' or anything, but just about random stuff
>It's nice to just have a friend to talk to
>Or... Whatever she is to you...
>You both eventually fall asleep on the couch together, the events of Canter Con almost—but not completely—out of mind, for now
>In the morning, you wake to an acrid smell
>Fuck, you and Treehugger stayed up so late...
>It hurts to even open your eyes
>And what's that smell?
>Some kind of crazy hippie food that's being cooked up or—
>You sniff again
>Oh, no, that's just you
>A week of unwashed status, plus all the running around, fighting, and sweating you did while on ecstasy yesterday...
>How the fuck did Treehugger even stand this?
>Taking another sniff, though, you can tell Treehugger is making something in the kitchen
>Smells like pancakes (vegan, of course)
>Still clad in cosplay, you try and roll off of the couch
>FUCK
>Okay, that beating you took yesterday is really starting to hurt now
>You're sore all over, but especialy on your forearms from that stupid slapfight you had, and on your cheeks, which are probably still red
>Regardless, you're going to have to get up, so you do, limping past a few of Treehugger's potted plants—and you're pretty sure what kind of plants they are, if you know what you mean (you do)—and into the kitchen
>"Mornin', Spark Bug!" she greets you with a smile
>It looks like she just started
>Definitely don't want to smell like some NEET no-life loser during breakfast, so...
"Um... Is it okay if I take a shower? I-It's, um... Been a while..."
>"No problem, man. As long as you're out before the pancakes are cold," she smiles warmly
"Thanks!"
>You walk out of sight and...
>Don't actually know the layout of her apartment at all
>Too late to go back and ask; that would be spaghetti, and after last night, you've had enough
>This place isn't so big
>You walk into the hall where her room was, the door slightly ajar
>There are two other doors
>You pick one and...
>Jackpot!
>Treehugger's bathroom is pretty small—barely enough room for the toilet, sink, and walk-in shower
>You enter and begin stripping down, closing the door behind you
>If you could set this fucking cosplay on fire, you would... Never wearing this shit again
>Entering the shower naked, you turn the knob on the wall
>Water sputters out from the shower head weakly, off and on for a few moments, before jetting out with more power
>Your turn it to just hot enough for you to handle—you want to be pretty thoroughly clean
>Treehugger has... 'Organic' soap
>Looks more like some kind of weird cheese or something, with lots of little specks in it
>Wait, is it okay to use someone's soap?
>Or is that weird?
>Man, how do normal people know the protocol for every situation
>Most people would know what do here...
>Fuck it, you need to be clean, you're using the soap
>You could think something weird about how Treehugger has used this stuff on herself, but you don't
>After a few minutes of steamy hot showering, you finish up
>Consequences be damned, you use the sole towel in the room and wash yourself off
>You can't be damned to put your hair in the usual bun, so you just dry it and let it hang loose
>Tying the towel around yourself, you realize that you don't have anything to wear but your cosplay...
>The thought of putting that back on causes you to physically wretch
>Too many bad memories associated with that thing
>Hell, you'd rather eat with just the towel on, though, you'd really rather not do either
>You open the bathroom door, cold air rushing into the room and blowing across your skin
"Um, Treehugger?" you call out. "C-Can I wear something from your room?"
>"Sure, man!" she replies from the kitchen
>Woo!
>You enter her room, still as messy as the last time, clothes all over the place...
>Finding the last outfit you picked out in this mess is going to take forever, so, you pluck out some denim skinny jeans, a loose v-neck of some hipster band you've never heard of, socks, and...
>Wearing someone else's underwear is weird, but...
>Just don't think about it too weirdly or anything
>You try to comb your hair a bit with your fingers
>Never liked having it out like this, but it doesn't matter
>Time for food!
>Treehugger nods approvingly as you enter the kitchen
>"Dang, Spark Bug. I like your hair like that. Looks pretty cool!"
>You redden and brush some strands of hair behind your ear
"Th-Thanks."
>Putting your hair in a bun wasn't easier than keeping it free—the latter didn't require you to DO anything, but...
>Having it in a bun felt safer, and after a few instances of kids saying 'nice hair', but in an insulting way, in like third grade, you did what you could to change it to something 'safe'
>So, the bun!
>In your warped mind, even that crazy punk hair you tried out for a day was somehow more comfortable than having it like this
>But Treehugger liked it, so you were okay
>You could be comfortable just... Being yourself, as silly as that sounded
>Here, at least
>You'll change it back once you're home
>Pancakes sit in a stack on Treehugger's card table, so you take a seat
>You hadn't realized it before, but you were starving
"Man! These are a lot better than I remember."
>"Thanks, Spark Bug," Treehugger says, taking a seat across from you
>The card table shakes, moving from one foot to another, as you eat, though Treehugger quickly fixes this by sliding some paper that had slipped out from under one of the legs back in place
>Maybe you're crazy, but these vegan pancakes really do get better every time
>Something to them
>The texture, maybe
>"Really chowin' down there, huh? Told you they were good, man."
>Not really thinking, you sort of blurt out this next part as you eat
"You know, this reminds me of the breakfasts my mom used to make."
>Then you sort of feel yourself sink, and your fervent eating slows heavily
>"Used to? Outgrew pancake breakfasts or something?"
"N-No, um... She left when I was a kid, is all. I-It's nothing."
>Your stuttering makes it pretty clear it's not 'nothing'
>"Spark Bug—"
"It's... We don't have to talk about that. I already, you know, let you deal with enough..."
>Your chest feel constricted, but... It's bearable
>Mom is just another thing to push into the back of your mind with everything else
>Better not to dwell on any of that, right?
>Treehugger sighs and reaches across the table for your hand, exuding warmth as she always does
>"It's fine if you want to talk about it. And it's fine if you don't."
"Well... I don't... She doesn't care about me. I don't care about her. That's just how it goes..."
>Treehugger nods
>"My parents don't really talk to me anymore, man. They didn't approve of my 'lifestyle'. Like I told you, dad's a cop, so... Haven't really talked to them since I went off to college. They wouldn't narc on me, but wouldn't support me either. Got a brother and sister they care a lot more about."
>She takes a long sigh
>"Harshed my vibes anyways... And, you know, it's fine, really."
"Oh."
>You're not really sure what to say
>Never sure what to say when people tell you something like this
>Maybe just... Talking about this stuff would help
"My mom left the summer right after I finished fourth grade so she could go on a cruise with her boyfriend... She never really liked me..."
>You took deep breaths, not wanting to be a constant, bawling wreck around Treehugger
"I... I kind of hate being a 'Twilight' because of her, you know? I'm Twilight Jr., but... I don't want to be anything like her. I-I don't want to think about her. I don't want to... I don't even want to remember the good times..."
>Like the way she would make you pancakes every morning before school
>Or—at least when you were younger and before you started disappointing her—how she would always tell you all the amazing things she thought you could be
>Generic 'my kid's so smart, she can President some day!' stuff, but... It meant a lot at the time
>Before you started getting beat up and bullied
>She was upset at first, but found you pathetic not too long after...
"I didn't have a lot friends... Kids didn't like me… I wasn't good enough for her, I wasn't destined to be Prom Queen like her, normal... Like she expected me to be a little version of her. That's why she slapped her fucking name on me, right? W-What kind of… I-I don’t think I ever really meant anything to her. It’s like I’m just some broken toy..."
>You sigh
>This...
>You're just wasting Treehugger's time with all this nonsense
>What's it fucking matter?
>What kind of loser complains about being bullied by their mom?
>So what if your own name reminds you of your cunt of a mother, giving you a slight sting every time you hear it?
>So what if you tried so hard to make her like you again after the beatings and teasing in elementary?
>So what if all those stupid awards for 'academic excellence', or the science fairs, or children's card game tournaments meant nothing to her?
>Right?
>People get divorced all the time
>People have shitty parents all the time
>You weren’t some edgy fuck who was just going to sit around and complain about how much their ‘parents sucked’ or whatever
>Who's mom hasn't called them 'defective' to their face before?
> You didn't want to—you're trying so hard not to—but you cry
>Treehugger moves out of her seat and kneels down next to you, embracing you
>"Spark Bug..."
>Why...
>Why does Treehugger deal with you?
>You're always like this around her...
>You're not fun, you're a terrible friend
>There's a humming, a vibration, moving through you, soothing you in her arms
>The sobbing subsides and you wrap your arms around her
>You think back to the first time you'd met Treehugger, and how that all ended up...
>You blush thinking about the things you did together
>Things you definitely enjoyed at the time…
>Maybe, the feelings you had for her... Did you like her?
>But you liked Sunny... Right?
>You were definitely attracted to Sunny, and being with her was different from being with Treehugger
>All this time, you haven't really thought of Treehugger in a 'lewd' way, but...
>Fuck, all this ‘feelings’ stuff is so fucking complicated!
>What even was it that you felt?
>Well, you definitely feel comfortable with Treehugger
>Both of you cared about each other
>For some unknown reason, she saw something in you, and she valued you as a human being, and...
>It felt like this was the right place to be; here with her
>Maybe...
>You look up at Treehugger and time almost seems to stop as your eyes meet
>Everything about her calmed you, felt... Pleasant, and reassuring
>The red eyes, the tattoos, the dreadlocks, her voice
>You place a hand against her face, trembling, but…
>This felt right
>Closing your eyes, you leaned in until your lips met, sending a soft tingle through your body
>It was a warm kiss, soothing like everything else Treehugger did—it almost felt as if you could melt away with her
>You could feel her exhale, warm air running against your face as you pulled away
>Treehugger rubbed a hand along the nape of your neck, her cheek pressed against yours
>"I'm here for you, Spark Bug."
"Th-Thanks, Mom."
>You froze and your heart stopped as you uttered that last word
>Why the fuck did you just—
>Now would be a good time to kill yourself