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Dungeons and Damsels II

Jan 23rd, 2016
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  1. >"Twilight... I don't think that of this a very good idea..."
  2. >It had been approximately twenty one minutes and thirty-three seconds since your husband and brother had left for parts unknown
  3. >In that time you and the other girls had gotten quite a bit done
  4. >Every door in the castle was magically barricaded and sealed
  5. >Every hall and every room had the most powerful detection and listening charms known to magic placed strategically all over them
  6. >You had even used your magic to turn some pots and pans that you had in the kitchen into battle ready helmets
  7. >But even with all of the stuff that you and everypony else did, even after making treebrary 2.O into an actual fortress, you didn't feel very safe
  8. >Not even a little bit
  9. >By now the girls had come to their senses and you could see that they very much regretted what they said
  10. >They realized that they had bucked up and they had bucked up bad
  11. >Just like you they were jumping at very sound and eyeing every shadow
  12. >You could see the shame on their faces and you could see it by the way that they walked and talked
  13. >You could see shame and fear
  14. >Every single one of you knew that all of these spells and charms could only get you so far with those two stallions
  15. >You knew that with enough time and preparation Shining could bypass every little thing you did and waltz into this castle if he wanted to
  16. >Your bbbff could be behind you RIGHT now and you wouldn't even know it
  17. >Fortunately, and unfortunately, you didn't have to worry about Anon sneaking into the castle to give you your comeuppance
  18. >Nope, the light of your life would stomp up to your front door and start tearing into the castle with a sledge hammer while shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs
  19. >And, to be honest, you didn't know which you'd prefer at this point
  20. >You just HATED this waiting!
  21. >It was just like waiting for a doctor to give you a shot
  22. >You knew that the pinch was coming
  23. >You could feel them moving that point toward you
  24.  
  25. >But you just didn't know WHEN it was gonna poke you!
  26. >Why didn't you just knock some sense into these mares when you had the chance?
  27. >If you would have apologized you'd all probably be sitting in the living room listening to Anon and Shining as they told you about their trip!
  28. >Anon would have been petting your RIGHT NOW!
  29. >He might have even done that thing with your ears that you really like!
  30. >...What a load of horse apples...
  31. "I think you're right, Moony," you say, looking at everypony
  32. >Not one of them could look you in the eye
  33. >Alright Twilot
  34. >You might have bucked up by not speaking out but now it's time to say something
  35. >Time to end this nonsense so all of you can go and apologize
  36. >...And maybe take a shower
  37. >...Maybe more than one shower...
  38. "So how about it girls? How about we go out and find our husbands and tell them that weren't sorry for being a bunch of oat heads?"
  39. >"But we just finished fortifying the castle," Sunset muttered, rubbing her shoulder
  40. >You all shuffle around, waiting for somepony else to speak up
  41. >You had floated the idea out there, hopefully the girls would run with it so you didn't have to cower in your own bucking house!
  42. >"The Great and Powerful Trixie is wearing a POT on her head," Trixie finally said, looking at each and everyone of you. "Trixie doesn't know about you girls but she thinks that this has gone on long enough."
  43. >"Aye," Luna said with a nod, her pot-helmet very nearly falling off of her head. "Tis barely an hour and the colts have us ready to jump out of our fur."
  44. >"There's nopony better at the mind games than stallions," Cadence agreed, lifting pot-helmet off of her head and tossing it away
  45. >Though Starlight and Celestia said nothing you could see both of them looking at you with half smiles
  46. >You sighed again, this time in relief
  47. >Thank goodness that this wasn't going to get out of hoof!
  48. "Alright then, why don't we--"
  49. >"NOW WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO? THERE'S NOT EVEN A FUCKING FRONT DOOR ANYMORE!"
  50.  
  51. >You all jumped, looking at each other with wide eyes
  52. >"It looks like we have no need to look for our stallions, girls," Celestia said with a nervous giggle
  53. >You all looked over toward the window
  54. >"Yeah, I think you're right," Moony said, pushing her glasses up her muzzle
  55. >None of you said a thing as you slowly shuffled out of the room and go into the other room so you could get out onto your balcony
  56. >When you poked your heads outside you saw one heck of a sight
  57. >Anon had a big oaken barrel slung over his shoulder and he was pouring water into this giant kiddie pool-sized tub
  58. >There were about seven other barrels behind him with a little plastic table and two plastic chairs right next to those
  59. >Shining was standing next to Anon sporting what looked like a bunch of bottles of shampoo along with a bunch of other bathroom accessories
  60. >"Did you manage to get that oatmeal coconut soap?" Anon asked, setting down the barrel when the tub was all filled up
  61. >Shining nodded
  62. >"And I managed to get that special brand of mane and shoulders and that medicated shampoo that you wanted," Shining said, staring at your husband with a smile
  63. >Anon grunted with a shake of his head
  64. >"Good, if you so much as come near Sunny with any other kind of soap she'll break into a rash. And don't get me started with how bad Trixie's mane starts flaking when you don't make her use her shampoo everyday."
  65. >"Do you think that we got enough green tea for Twilight to soak in? I remember when she was little how she'd lose clumps of fur if you didn't make her soak in it at least once a month."
  66. >"She's gonna have to deal with what we managed to get. Even when I order that shit ahead of time they never give me enough."
  67. >Once again a small crowd of ponies started to form within ear shot of Anon and Shining
  68. >Many of them were smiling, looking up at you and the girls as your husband's casually talked about your special hygiene needs...
  69. >Right out there were everypony could hear them...
  70.  
  71. >...
  72. >...
  73. >...
  74. Was it getting hot out here?
  75. >You felt a little hot under the collar...
  76. >Making a face, Shining tossed some kind of powder into the water
  77. >"I know what you mean! You know I was at the store one time to get tear free shampoo for Starlight because everything else hurts her eyes and they were out! And when I asked one of the salesponies when they were going to get some in stock they said that they didn't sell the bubble gum scent that she liked in the extra large bottles anymore!"
  78. >You found yourself blushing in embarrassment as Anon let out a noise of disgust
  79. >"You think that that's bad? I tried to get those fine-tooth brushes at the store the other day since Celly and Moony's manes like to fro up after they bathe and they started selling just those shitty all plastic ones! How the hell is a plastic brush going to be able to deal with all of that hair?"
  80. >"If you think that that's bad you should hear about what I was trying to get my Luna the other--"
  81. >"ENOUGH!" Luna roared, about as red as the rest of you were. "The commoners do not need to know about our... problem."
  82. >"You mean the thing that Shining had to--"
  83. >"Aye, THAT thing, Starlight. Nowhushupright now!"
  84. >Glaring at her herd mate for a moment longer, Luna then turned her attention back to Anon and Shining
  85. >Both of whom were smiling
  86. >Your nose scrunched up at the sight
  87. >Ohhhh! You'd bet your horn that they knew that you were there the whole time!
  88. >The jerks!
  89. >"Anonymous, husband, might We as why thou hast a tub of water prepared?"
  90. >"Where the buck did they even get all that stuff?" Starlight muttered, leaning over the railing to get a better look. "They weren't even gone all that long..."
  91. >Celestia looked at the whole set up with worry
  92. >"Never dismiss a stallion's resourcefulness, much less our stallions."
  93. >Anon's grin widened, his canines flashing in the sun
  94.  
  95. >"I got you girls a bath ready," he chirped, slapping the wooden tub. "Me and Shining went out and got all of the stuff you needed and everything!"
  96. >Reaching into his pocket Anon pulled out a little rubber dick and tossed it into the tub
  97. >The duck bobbed in the water a few times before settling in the middle, it's little duck face...
  98. >...Looming
  99. >...That wasn't the right word but for some reason it was the first word you thought of
  100. >The second one was SINISTER...
  101. >That was a sinister little duck...
  102. >"Now come on, the water might not be the warmest in the world but it's the best that you're going to get."
  103. >You could hear a pin drop as you all milled over Anon's words and their implications
  104. >Was he?...
  105. >Did he really think?...
  106. >He wasn't going to...
  107. "You want us to take a bath out in the middle of the street?!" you blurted out, covering your teats with your hooves
  108. >You needed to protect them from your husband's twisting
  109. >His rough, painful twisting
  110. >"I want you to take a bath, I want you to brush your teeth, and I want you to get your horns and hooves filed since I bet you all haven't done that since we left either," Anon said with a nod
  111. >You could hear some of the townsponies openly laughing now but you ignored them
  112. >You all had more important things to focus on
  113. >Like your crazy husband for one
  114. >"You... you have to be pulling our leg," Cadence said. "Shining, honey, you're not going to make us do this are you?"
  115. >"Hey!" Sunset snapped, shoving the pink mare. "Don't you bucking try to get out of this because you're in a different herd!"
  116. >"Unlike your husband my hubby is a bit more rational. He'd never make us do something like that."
  117. >Smiling, Cadence looked down at her husband
  118. >"Right hon?"
  119. >Shining smiled, and Starlight, Cadence, and Luna smiled along with him
  120. >You could see the hope in their eyes as they waited for their stallion's answer
  121.  
  122. >You and the other girls might have been up the creek without a paddle with Anon but if they played their cards right then maybe they could get out of this
  123. >...Lucky bitc--
  124. >"Nope. You girls are all going down together on this one. Sorry."
  125. >If you weren't in the same situation as Cadence and her girls you might have started laughing when you saw their hopeful looks shatter into a million pieces
  126. >Not in a mean way mind you
  127. >More of a "you tried to flake out and it bit you in the butt" kind of way
  128. >"W-WHAT?! Come on Shining!"
  129. >Shining shook his head
  130. >"Anon's right, you girls weren't too nice to your husbands when you saw them and now you gotta pay the price. Them's the breaks."
  131. >"Alright then," Anon said, slapping his tub of doom again. "Now who wants to go first?"
  132. >Celestia gently brushed past you and Starlight and leaned over the balcony
  133. >"Husband, might I have a word with you for a moment?" she asked diplomatically
  134. >Anon hummed, thinking her request over for a few seconds, before he nodded
  135. >"Sure. Speak away Sunny Buns."
  136. >Your old teacher turned a little red at the pet name but she smiled nonetheless
  137. >"Thank you Anon. Now, I understand that you're more than a little upset, and you have every right to be. We didn't do our chores, we neglected our personal hygiene, and we told you to hit the road so we could finish our game."
  138. >Celestia sounded a little melancholy saying this and you and a few of the girls looked away from your husbands in shame
  139. >Yeah...
  140. >That doesn't sound that great when somepony says it out loud...
  141. >"The girls and I," she said, gesturing toward you, Sunset, Trixie, and Moondancer, "shouldn't have treated you like that. It was wrong and we were all raised better than that. You are our stallion, and we should do everything in our power to prove it. You deserve our love and respect, not what we did to you. So I, along with everypony else standing up here, wish to apologize to both you and Shining for our egregious behavior."
  142.  
  143. >Many of the stallions watching this play out awed
  144. >Shining awed
  145. >Though she did her best to hide it, Trixie wiped a tear from her eye
  146. >Yes!
  147. >That was the best, most perfect thing that she could have said
  148. >It was humble, heartfelt, and honest
  149. >You wouldn't have thought of saying ANYTHING like that in a million years
  150. >Even your husband, who had been twisting your teats like he had been born to do it (which he probably was, the crazy apelien) was wearing a genuinely happy smile
  151. >"...You know what, hon? I appreciate that you stepped up to the plate and apologized, and better yet I'm glad that you did that AND you weren't just pulling it out of your ass. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you were in the wrong, and I accept your apology."
  152. >Still smiling Anonymous tapped the side of the tub with his finger
  153. >"Now come down here for your bath. I can smell you from here."
  154. >Faster than the eye could see Celestia's smile vanished off of her face
  155. >"But hon, now that we got that silliness out of the way--"
  156. >"You are NOT using our shower," Anon interrupted with a shake of his head. "The smell would linger in our bathroom for god knows how long."
  157. >Shit!
  158. >You hadn't thought of that!
  159. >The fledgling hope that you might have actually been saved vanished as you stared at the tub of water
  160. >In your mind's eye you could see yourself sitting in that tub getting scrubbed down by Anon with all of those ponies watching...
  161. >You'd be a laughingstock
  162. >You and all of the other girls
  163. >Whenever you showed your faces in town they'd say that you were a bunch of whipped mares that did everything that their stallions said
  164. >You might not have been a drowning in cock alpha but you had a little respect amongst the populace
  165. >But if your husband dumped you into a tub like a naughty foal and bathed you...
  166. >Oh no!
  167. >Oh sweet stars no!
  168. >Everything'sgonnabetheworstforeverandever!
  169.  
  170. >"Come on girls," Shining said, beckoning you all with a hoof. "Let's get this out of the way so I can get in there and sanitize the horse apples out of Anon's house."
  171. >Celestia bit her lip
  172. >"Are you sure that I can't dissuade you?"
  173. >She wiggled her rump, her eyes half lidded
  174. >"The girls and I could give you the welcome you deserve~"
  175. >...Wait!
  176. >That was it!
  177. >You could bribe Anon with sex!
  178. >SEX WAS THE ANSWER!
  179. >WHYHADN'TYOUTHOUGHTOFITBEFORE?!?!
  180. >Shining and Anon looked at each other before throwing back their heads and laughing their flanks off
  181. >Not two seconds later many of the stallions watching started laughing as well
  182. >...Shit
  183. >...
  184. >...
  185. >...
  186. >Why does that never work?...
  187. >"You think you're getting any cock after telling me to piss off?" Anon said in between giggles. "Apology or not you and the girls are in the doghouse, Sunny Buns. You're gonna have to work for this dick for a little while now."
  188. >"Are you sure?" Trixie asked, shoving Celestia out of the way. "Trixie can do that thing with her mouth that you like! As long as Trixie doesn't have to bathe outside like... like some kind of animal!"
  189. >Anon smiled
  190. >"You are an animal, babe. same as me."
  191. >He spread his arms out wide
  192. >"Now come on and let's get you cleaned up. After we're finished I'll give you a hug and a kiss and everything."
  193. >Luna's nose scrunched up
  194. >"...Nay."
  195. >Unfurling her wing she took off into the air, swooping down and landing right on the railing next to Trixie
  196. >"We art Princess Luna: Lady of the Night and the Protector of Dreams!"
  197. >Snorting, Luna looked down at the two stallions, her lips pulling back into a snarl
  198. >"In ages past we spent lifetimes fighting beings which melted the minds of mortals with their very PRESENCE! WE ART NOT!--"
  199. >Rolling his eyes, Shining's horn flashed with a burst of magic
  200. >Luna stopped mid rant with a yelp, lurching forward dangerously
  201. >You all cried out, trying to reach for her so she didn't fall off the balcony
  202.  
  203. >Thankfully Cadence managed to grab her tail with her mouth and yank her back onto the platform
  204. >Unfortunately Luna, in her panic, began to flail her wings around
  205. >One of these wings smacked Trixie right on the back of the head, sending her tumbling off the balcony and toward the ground
  206. >"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!"
  207. >Five horns sparked to life, intend on grabbing Trixie and pulling her back toward safety, but Shining was too fast
  208. >His horn sparked to life and you and the girls found yourselves encased in a bubble
  209. >It wasn't a very powerful barrier but it was more than enough to break your concentration
  210. "TRIXIE!" you yelled in panic
  211. >"TRIXIE BLAMES SPARKLE FOR THIS!" Trixie yelled, closing her eyes and bracing herself for her impact with the earth
  212. >Watching his wife fall in bemusement, Anon extended his arms and caught the magician with little effort
  213. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
  214. >"Trixie."
  215. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
  216. >"Trixie, honey."
  217. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
  218. >"Trixie, it's fine."
  219. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
  220. >"You're not falling anymore you silly horse. You can stop screaming now."
  221. >Trixie's mouth snapped up and she looked up at Anon
  222. >You all look down at her in horror
  223. >"Trixie, run!" Cadence yelled
  224. >"G-Get away from h-him!" Moondancer called
  225. >"Run zigga run!" Sunset cried
  226. >...
  227. >Everypony standing up on the balcony gave her a look before once again looking down at the light blue mare
  228. >...Bucking racists Sunset...
  229. >Trixie blinks slowly, her rear legs resting on her chest as Anon looked down at her
  230. >You could see the gears churning in her head
  231. >Though the girls were yelling you knew that Trixie had no chance to get away
  232. >Shining could make a barrier if she tried to hoof it and you knew what Anon could do if she tried to teleport or try to get away with her magic
  233.  
  234. >Anyway that you looked at it Trixie was going to get in the tub
  235. >You knew it, the girls knew it, the bystanders watching the clusterbuck knew it, and so did Trixie
  236. >The magician's eyes narrowed and her muzzle scrunched up
  237. >Though her end was in sight Trixie did not beg
  238. >She did not plea
  239. >She did not back down
  240. >The Great and Powerful Trixie was going to meet her fate like a mare, her head held right and her chest tuft fluffy and silky
  241. >...
  242. >...
  243. >...
  244. >See you space, cowgirl
  245. >"FREEEEEEEEEEEEE-GMRPKTGNRTI!"
  246. >You and the other girls could do nothing but watch as Anon tossed your herd mate into the tub of water, ripped her sweater and socks off, and started scrubbing her down
  247. >While normally any of you would have LOVED to have your stallion's hoof spiders all over you it looked like he wasn't being all that gentle with poor Trixie
  248. >In fact, if you didn't know any better, you'd have said that Anon was trying to drown her
  249. >"HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP! SOMEPONY HELP TRIXIE!"
  250. >"Twilight," Celestia said, eerily calm. "I do believe that we have some more fortifying to do."
  251. >You nod
  252. >"SAVE TRIXIE! SPARKLE! OERIGNEORINER! SPPPPPAAAAAARRRRRRRKKKLLLLLLEEEEE! SAVE TRI--DFJNEORNWRIN!"
  253. "Yeah... I think that we could stand to to put up a few more spells," you muttered
  254. >"And I'm sure there's some furniture we could use to block some of the hallways."
  255. >You all nodded, stepping away from the balcony
  256. >"TRIXIE SEES YOU--RFJEKVWVEF! SAVE ME! SAVE ME DAMMI-DAFVBEFVEVEIN!"
  257.  
  258. ~-8-~
  259.  
  260. >"Are you sure that this outfit doesn't make me look fat? I swear I feel like a stuffed sausage in this thing!"
  261. >You look up from your meal-- the first half decent one that you've gotten in two fucking weeks-- and at your brother-in-law
  262. "It makes you look fat, Shining," you say, stuffing a slice of pizza in your mouth. "It makes you look huge, titanic, the biggest, fattest stallion that I've ever laid eyes on."
  263. >Shining's nose scrunched up
  264.  
  265. >"Well you aren't supposed to say that! You're supposed to tell me that I look great! Slimmer than most stallions!"
  266. "No, that's what a FRIEND would say, my dear Shiny," you correct, reaching over the table and ruffling the stallion's mane. "The two of us are KIN. It's my sworn duty to take the piss out of you whenever I can."
  267. >Huffing, though you could see a little smile on his face, Shining started to fiddle around with his vest again
  268. >"I swear that no matter what I do I just keep gaining weight--"
  269. "I recall you declining whenever I ask you if you want to work out or go to the gym."
  270. >"--I've tried every diet that I can think of--"
  271. "For two weeks."
  272. >"--I took that pilates class for MONTHS."
  273. "You didn't even take it for a week before storming out of the place after that one stallion said that your headband looked tacky."
  274. >Sputtering, Shining once again looked up at you, her snoser scrunching to dangerous levels
  275. >"We all can't eat anything we want and be lazy like YOU, Anon!" he snapped. "SOME of us have to work to get the bodies we want!"
  276. >Work?
  277. >Wasn't this the same little horse that just ate two whole cheese pizzas by himself?
  278. >Thank god he was on his hooves a lot, otherwise he'd be as wide as he was tall
  279. >Rolling your eyes you finished up your last slice of pizza and stood up
  280. "You look fine you big baby," you say, booping his nose. "I don't even know why the hell you changed out of that weird blanket thing to wear a vest to a pizza place but whatever."
  281. >Fishing out a small bag of bits you toss them onto the table
  282. "I think that I'm gonna go and hit the hay. I'm kinda beat after that train ride and all that wife tormenting."
  283. >Pushing in your chair you grin at your brother-in-law
  284. >"Don't you go and buy another pizza ya hear? You don't want to be rolling out of this place do ya?"
  285. >You laugh as Shining throws obscenities at you as you leave the pizza place
  286. >Shining might have been a bro but Christ above was he a little too easy to tease
  287.  
  288. >It didn't make it any less fun though
  289. >Walking out into the night you put your hands in your pockets and make your way toward the hotel that you and Shining were staying at for the time being
  290. >After your wives had watched you cleaning Trixie up not only did they not want you in the house but they made the place even MORE impenetrable
  291. >The dirty horses didn't want to get clean it seemed
  292. >And that meant that you were in the long haul with this
  293. >Which was fine; you and Shining would pick them off one by one, spreading fear and terror in their ranks, cutting off their food supplies, and generally making their lives a heck of a lot harder
  294. >And when you got them to their lowest point the two of you were going to rip through their ranks and crush them beneath you feet like the insects that they were
  295. >Isn't marriage grand?
  296. >You don't know what Shining thought about the whole business but you thought it was a fucking hoot!
  297. >Eventually you made it back to the humble but cozy hotel at the end of town and make your way into your room
  298. >There, waiting for you with a big ol' frown on her face, was the Great and Powerful Trixie
  299. >Or, as you had been calling her, the Clean and Hygienic Trixie
  300. >She didn't like it when you called her that
  301. >So you did your best to use the title whenever you could
  302. >Magician hoers had changed out of that grimy and nasty sweat shirt of hers (which Shining burned) along with those socks of hers (which Shining also burned) for a PJ top and some nice pink socks
  303. >"Husband," she grumbled as you started kicking off your shoes
  304. "Wife," you say teasingly. "Did you get that pizza that we ordered for you?"
  305. >Trixie nodded as you sat down beside her on the bed
  306. >"Yes, the Great and Powerful Trixie got the pizza," she said, leaning against you. "And Trixie would like to thank you for the food. Trixie was famished."
  307. >You run your fingers through your thankfully now-clean wife's mane
  308. >Trixie sighed, leaning against you just a hair more
  309.  
  310. "Good. Are you ready for bed?"
  311. >Trixie nodded, and allowed you to pick her up and place her underneath the covers
  312. >Shedding your clothing you crawled in after her, wrapping your arms around her barrel and pulling her close
  313. >The two of you sighed as you buried your face into her mane and closed your eyes
  314. >"...Anonymous?"
  315. >You cracked open an eye
  316. "Yeah Trixie?"
  317. >"Trixie... I'm sorry that me and the girls told you off today."
  318. >Chuckling, you kissed the top of your silly horse's head
  319. "Water under the bridge, my little pony," you said. "But if it makes you feel any better dunking you in that water sure made up for your nonsense."
  320. >You chuckled again, this time just a bit louder
  321. "You're gonna get shit for that for as long as you live."
  322. >Though she had her back to you you KNEW that she was frowning
  323. >"...The Great and Powerful Trixie wishes to take back her apology."
  324. >You kissed the back of her head again, closing your eyes
  325. "I love you too, hon."
  326. >Making a disgusted noise, Trixie turned off the lights with a spell and settled down for the night
  327. >"Trixie loves you too, human. She doesn't like it but she loves you too."
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