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MiroslawStanislav

BIC Bushcrafter in Equestria Chapter 1

Oct 6th, 2012
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  1. >Year 2012 on Earth
  2. >Opening your package, you squel in delight, grabbing your new Mora knife
  3. >As soon as you unsheathed it, the carbon blade cut through your finger
  4. GODDAMNIT FUCK
  5. >Falling backwords, your head connects with the refridgerator, occipital lobe being stunned, causing you to be blind
  6. SHSFSHSHRSGSEWRHGSGS
  7. >Somehow in your blindness you manage to make it all the way to your room, and then manage to fall again, temple first into the bed post, sending your mind into an unconcious state
  8. >All is dark
  9. >There's probably nobody here
  10. >Except a nigger probably
  11. >Niggers
  12.  
  13. 1/x
  14.  
  15. >As your eyes open, the blinding sun reaches your eyes, a cold sense shoots through your body like electricity, causing you to shake and shiver
  16. >Sitting up, you find yourself in a fresh blanket of snow, realtree gloves, vest, hat, and a nice wool shirt and goretex pants adorn your body.
  17. >Next to you, is your bushcraft bag, filled to the brim with supplies, paracord, food, water, tools, and your laptop.
  18. >Luckily the wind wasn't too extreme, or else this would be a major pain in the ass.
  19. >Loocking down, boots fasten your legs and olive drab gaitors remain wrapped around them, lightly coated in snow
  20. >Inside of your pockets, a simple flip phone, an mp3, not much.
  21. >Rising to your feet, you sling the backpack over your cold back, rubbing your gloves over the bottom of your clothing to shake the snow from them.
  22. >Taking in the surrounding area, it appears to be flatland, a small path leads down, the cold air and a hint of smoke garnishes the air with its prescence.
  23. >A reach around your side pouch of the pack finds a face mask, which quickly is put around your face
  24. >Beginning to jog, the town seems oh so close, yet oh so far, snow slowly coming down from the sky.
  25.  
  26. 2/x
  27.  
  28. >A quick peer at your watch shows the time to be 21:27
  29. >Strange, its at most 0c outside, without wind chill
  30. >No black ice adorns the path ahead, leading the jog to be calming, the town slowly approaches
  31. >Couldn't be a mile away even, should be there within 7 minutes
  32. >As your legs pump, the town approaches closer and closer
  33. >Within a few minutes, the path enters the town, but something's off
  34. >Everything seems smaller, like it was made for dwarves
  35. >A lone light shines through the snow
  36. >As if it was a beacon, you are drawn to the prescence, the contents of your bag shifting slowly and shuffling around as your feet connect with the ground
  37. >Slowly, you make it to the walls, appearing to be made of candy and gingerbread, hell if its warm who cares
  38. >A swift tap of your glove on the door brings a ruckus inside
  39. >Slowly but surely, the door begins to unlock, and open
  40. >The squeeling door reveals... Wut
  41. >What
  42. >Wat
  43. >There's some sort of dog thing looking at yo-
  44. >"HIMYNAMESPINKIEPIEWHAT'SYOURNAMEI'VENEVERSEENANYTHINGLIKEYOUBEFOREDOYOULIKECUPCAKESWHAT'SYOURNAMEMYDADDYRAPEDMEYOUWANNAHAVEAPARTY?"
  45. >You raise your glove, shooshing her, she slowly begins to slow down and to a stop
  46. Hello there... Uh... Pinkie Pie, May I ask to come inside if it isn't too much? It's a bit chilly outside.
  47. >"Sure!" she grabs your hand with her... Circular hand thing, and drags you into the building, the warm air rushing past you, the smell of baked goods filling your nostrils
  48. >This is going to be a long day
  49.  
  50. 3/3
  51.  
  52. >By the time you've been issued in by the pony, you're already seated at a table, Pinkie Pie eagerly staring at you
  53. >She seems to have energy even at times that most people would be half asleep, at least people at this time I suppose.
  54. So... Where exactly am I? First question, my second question is what species are you?
  55. >"Well that's silly! You're in Equestria! What... Species? I'm a pony! You've never seen a pony before?" she asks you in a sassy, mocking tone, but not purposefully rude.
  56. Well... No, not really... I'm sorry by any chance do you have any water? I'm awful parched and my canteen isn't filled.
  57. >"Sure!" In a split second she dashed across the kitchen, filled a pitcher at the sink, and zipped right back, placing the completely unspilt and full to the brim pitcher by your chest.
  58. >Taking out your canteen, she examines your every movement, to the filling off the canteen even she follows your hand movements exactly
  59. >Taking a sip you begin to speak
  60. So do you have any questions for me?
  61. >She seems to charge up slowly and begin to vibrate, and suddenly bursts into speech, "OMIGOSHWHOAREYOUWHAT'SYOURNAMEWHEREAREYOUFROMARETHEREPARTIESTHEREHOW'STHEFOODBLAHBLAHBLAHIFUCKINGHATEZEBRASBLAHBLAHBLAH" she shoots off questions like an mg-42
  62. >You raise a hand
  63. Slower please?
  64. >"Oh, ok, I tend to get a little excited sometimes, What's your name?"
  65. >Well that's simple
  66. My name is...
  67. >Blank
  68. Uh...
  69. >Just say something supr srs edgy
  70. Anonymous, let's go by that
  71. >She ponders for a moment, and then says, "Okie Dokie Lokie!"
  72.  
  73. 1/x
  74.  
  75. >"Where are you from?"
  76. >That's simple
  77. Well for one, I'm from a country called the United States, composed of 50 provinces/city states combined under one leader.
  78. >"Do they like to... Party?"
  79. >What kind of a question is that?
  80. Most people, some people don't but that's the minority. Get a group of people, blast some music, food, beverages, pretty fun if you ask me.
  81. >Suddenly a smile streaks across her face, wider than that looks possible without ripping her face
  82. >"WE'REGOINGTOTHROWYOUAPARTYOMIGOSHIGOTTAINVITEEVERYONEAN-"
  83. >Oh shit
  84. >No
  85. Pinkie Pie
  86. >"Yes?"
  87. I don't want to have a party
  88. >Her smile dies as fast as it came, turning into a deep teary frown
  89. I just want to go home, I'm probably unconcious in my bedroom right now, but nonetheless, I can't stay here forever
  90. >She seemingly understands, and her frown loosens a little bit, but still remains there
  91. Anyway, is there anywhere I could sleep for tonight, even if it was a shed outside, I don't feel like sleeping in the snow again
  92. >She looks up, "Sure! You can sleep in the guest room!" and she grabs your arm again, leading you up the stairs, and into a small room with a bed.
  93. I can take it from here.
  94. >She leaves the room, so you set your watch alarms to go off early in the morning, and then unsling your pack, and remove a door stopper/locker, jamming it under the door knob
  95. >Gotta stay safe
  96.  
  97. 2/x
  98.  
  99. >The unnatural aggrivating and irriating sound of your alarm awakes you, causing your body to jerk up and turn it off, before rubbing your eyes
  100. >The air is cold, clammy, the time is 0600, shifting out of the bed and into your boots and clothing, you remove the door stopper, and sling your pack
  101. >It seems the other people in this home have already awoken, Pinkie Pie is outside of a room down the hall, talking to two ponies, seemingly older
  102. >They seems to be talking about you
  103. >They take cautious looks in your direction, before Pinkie assures them that you mean no harm
  104. >A warm smile welcomes you from the female, the male remains a bit cautious
  105. Hello there, Mr and Ms...?
  106. >"Cake, and you are?"
  107. Anonymous, would you mind if I had breakfast before I left?
  108. >"Sure! Would you like some pastries, or maybe a bagel with jam?"
  109. Well I suppose I could, but I have my own food I can eat
  110. >The three of you head downstairs, you seat yourself at one of the tables, unslinging your pack and reaching into one of the pockets, taking out a nice can of beans
  111. >Pulling the tab, you pull off your mask and dig in with a spork.
  112.  
  113. 3/x
  114.  
  115. >As the cakes return with their breakfast, they examine your face, probably noting the fact that you have one and It's not just cloth
  116. >Nodding to them, you continue eating, before finishing up the entire can
  117. May I wash this in the sink? I'd like to reuse the can.
  118. >"I would have no issue with that, go ahead." Says Ms. Cake
  119. >The ice cold water running over your exposed wrist sends shivers down your arm and spine
  120. >Once it's washed, you dry it with a hankerchief
  121. I suppose I should go now, let you live your own life, I thank you for letting me sleep here tonight, good luck to you in the future.
  122. >You wave them off, and they wave back, as you open the door, the cold air hits your face so you secure your mask back on. Ponies dot the street everywhere, much unlike back home, where nobody is out in the snow
  123. >Some stare at you, some look at you oddly, but some pay no attention at all
  124. >W/e, no skin off your back
  125. >Your boots crunch through the snow, leading you deeper into the town
  126. >Eventually you've made it to what appears to be a town square, a large building pierces the sky, several important looking people walking around, a few suited ponies, and then a few police officers
  127. >The police officers wearily look at you, before sharpening their gaze and approach you
  128. >Goddamnit
  129.  
  130. 4/x
  131.  
  132. >You begin to jog, full sprint, through the streets and alleys of the cities, the police begin to gain on you, but within a few minutes into your sprint, they begin to pant heavily and slow down
  133. >Long legs fuck yer, endurance training pays off
  134. >Within 10 minutes you've lost them entirely, hiding in an alleyway between two buildings, a cellar door next to your boot
  135. >A quick pull shows its opened, drawing your 100 lumen flashlight from your side pouch, the room is illuminated
  136. >It's filled with cans, and cans, and more cans of food, a thick layer of dust coats all the surfaces, old posters dot the walls, nothing seems familiar, a large amount of wood lays in the corner, and a drain placed in the center of the room
  137. >A pull string light illuminates the room better, and you put your flashlight away
  138. >Grabbing a broom in the corner, you begin to sweep the dust over a drain in the middle of the room, and searching around the room
  139. >"EMERGENCY WATER: CANNED"
  140. >Perfect
  141. >Popping it open, you pour the water on the dust, getting it all the way down the drain, and leaving the room cleaner, and then heading up to the door, closing it and securing a plank in the slot
  142. >Base of operations obtained
  143. >Time to make your office
  144. >Taking the wood in the corner, and a few nails scattered around and the back of your axe, you manage to cobble together a desk, and a small chair within two hours
  145.  
  146. 5/x
  147.  
  148. >Unwrapping the wool blanket from the bottom of your pack, you set up a bed in the corner of the room, and then begin to set up your desk
  149. >Taking out your trusty laptop, mp3, and phone, you rig them together to charge from the laptop, and then take out your solar pack
  150. >Plugging in the laptop charger into the solar pack, and plugging in the extention cord, you open the door of the base, punch a hole in it for the wire, and set up the panel up the alleyway, before going back down.
  151. >The blinking light shows its slowly charging, slowly, booting up, the Ubuntu loading screen shows its working, and it boots into N/A
  152. >The desktop is covered in documents, info folders, various different pictures and information files
  153. >PDFs and makeshift DIY pictures all are found in one folder
  154. >Setting the settings to use the least power, and to turn off within 5 minutes and lock,
  155. >After a few hours of learning, reading saved threads, reading info files and watching movies, you get awful bored sitting, and begin to look around for something to do.
  156. >The door needs a lock and you need a ranged weapon, any guns you had were probably at home, carrying those in a bushcraft case just is asking for trouble
  157. >Peering around, your eye catches the sight of a straight yew stave
  158. >Longbow, yes
  159.  
  160. 6/x
  161.  
  162. >Within 90 minutes of work, the stave is properly shaped, thinned, and ready to be strung, paracord is tied correctly and so begins the process
  163. >Getting smacked in the face 80 times trying to trying it is all part of the process
  164. >Finally, the bow is strung, and a pull check shows it will not snap when shot, now for the arrows
  165. >A few straight bamboo sticks about 2-3 feet long seem to work fine, a notch in the bike and a bit of fletching, tarring, feathering, and sharpening leads to some good fire hardened arrows
  166. >The vest has a great pouch on the side of the arrow hand, acting as a quiver
  167. >After a quick bathroom break, you begin to sit down and admire your work
  168. >Slowly but surely your eyes begin to droop, and you begin to fall asleep
  169. >Gladly, you welcome yourself into your bed, the wool warming every inch of your body
  170. >Sleep comes easily
  171.  
  172. 7/7
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