BIC Bushcrafter in Equestria Chapter 1

>Year 2012 on Earth
>Opening your package, you squel in delight, grabbing your new Mora knife
>As soon as you unsheathed it, the carbon blade cut through your finger
GODDAMNIT FUCK
>Falling backwords, your head connects with the refridgerator, occipital lobe being stunned, causing you to be blind
SHSFSHSHRSGSEWRHGSGS
>Somehow in your blindness you manage to make it all the way to your room, and then manage to fall again, temple first into the bed post, sending your mind into an unconcious state
>All is dark
>There's probably nobody here
>Except a nigger probably
>Niggers

1/x

>As your eyes open, the blinding sun reaches your eyes, a cold sense shoots through your body like electricity, causing you to shake and shiver
>Sitting up, you find yourself in a fresh blanket of snow, realtree gloves, vest, hat, and a nice wool shirt and goretex pants adorn your body.
>Next to you, is your bushcraft bag, filled to the brim with supplies, paracord, food, water, tools, and your laptop.
>Luckily the wind wasn't too extreme, or else this would be a major pain in the ass.
>Loocking down, boots fasten your legs and olive drab gaitors remain wrapped around them, lightly coated in snow
>Inside of your pockets, a simple flip phone, an mp3, not much.
>Rising to your feet, you sling the backpack over your cold back, rubbing your gloves over the bottom of your clothing to shake the snow from them.
>Taking in the surrounding area, it appears to be flatland, a small path leads down, the cold air and a hint of smoke garnishes the air with its prescence.
>A reach around your side pouch of the pack finds a face mask, which quickly is put around your face
>Beginning to jog, the town seems oh so close, yet oh so far, snow slowly coming down from the sky.

2/x

>A quick peer at your watch shows the time to be 21:27
>Strange, its at most 0c outside, without wind chill
>No black ice adorns the path ahead, leading the jog to be calming, the town slowly approaches
>Couldn't be a mile away even, should be there within 7 minutes
>As your legs pump, the town approaches closer and closer
>Within a few minutes, the path enters the town, but something's off
>Everything seems smaller, like it was made for dwarves
>A lone light shines through the snow
>As if it was a beacon, you are drawn to the prescence, the contents of your bag shifting slowly and shuffling around as your feet connect with the ground
>Slowly, you make it to the walls, appearing to be made of candy and gingerbread, hell if its warm who cares
>A swift tap of your glove on the door brings a ruckus inside
>Slowly but surely, the door begins to unlock, and open
>The squeeling door reveals... Wut
>What
>Wat
>There's some sort of dog thing looking at yo-
>"HIMYNAMESPINKIEPIEWHAT'SYOURNAMEI'VENEVERSEENANYTHINGLIKEYOUBEFOREDOYOULIKECUPCAKESWHAT'SYOURNAMEMYDADDYRAPEDMEYOUWANNAHAVEAPARTY?"
>You raise your glove, shooshing her, she slowly begins to slow down and to a stop
Hello there... Uh... Pinkie Pie, May I ask to come inside if it isn't too much? It's a bit chilly outside.
>"Sure!" she grabs your hand with her... Circular hand thing, and drags you into the building, the warm air rushing past you, the smell of baked goods filling your nostrils
>This is going to be a long day

3/3

>By the time you've been issued in by the pony, you're already seated at a table, Pinkie Pie eagerly staring at you
>She seems to have energy even at times that most people would be half asleep, at least people at this time I suppose.
So... Where exactly am I? First question, my second question is what species are you?
>"Well that's silly! You're in Equestria! What... Species? I'm a pony! You've never seen a pony before?" she asks you in a sassy, mocking tone, but not purposefully rude.
Well... No, not really... I'm sorry by any chance do you have any water? I'm awful parched and my canteen isn't filled.
>"Sure!" In a split second she dashed across the kitchen, filled a pitcher at the sink, and zipped right back, placing the completely unspilt and full to the brim pitcher by your chest.
>Taking out your canteen, she examines your every movement, to the filling off the canteen even she follows your hand movements exactly
>Taking a sip you begin to speak
So do you have any questions for me?
>She seems to charge up slowly and begin to vibrate, and suddenly bursts into speech, "OMIGOSHWHOAREYOUWHAT'SYOURNAMEWHEREAREYOUFROMARETHEREPARTIESTHEREHOW'STHEFOODBLAHBLAHBLAHIFUCKINGHATEZEBRASBLAHBLAHBLAH" she shoots off questions like an mg-42
>You raise a hand
Slower please?
>"Oh, ok, I tend to get a little excited sometimes, What's your name?"
>Well that's simple
My name is...
>Blank
Uh...
>Just say something supr srs edgy
Anonymous, let's go by that
>She ponders for a moment, and then says, "Okie Dokie Lokie!"

1/x

>"Where are you from?"
>That's simple
Well for one, I'm from a country called the United States, composed of 50 provinces/city states combined under one leader.
>"Do they like to... Party?"
>What kind of a question is that?
Most people, some people don't but that's the minority. Get a group of people,  blast some music, food, beverages, pretty fun if you ask me.
>Suddenly a smile streaks across her face, wider than that looks possible without ripping her face
>"WE'REGOINGTOTHROWYOUAPARTYOMIGOSHIGOTTAINVITEEVERYONEAN-"
>Oh shit
>No
Pinkie Pie
>"Yes?"
I don't want to have a party
>Her smile dies as fast as it came, turning into a deep teary frown
I just want to go home, I'm probably unconcious in my bedroom right now, but nonetheless, I can't stay here forever
>She seemingly understands, and her frown loosens a little bit, but still remains there
Anyway, is there anywhere I could sleep for tonight, even if it was a shed outside, I don't feel like sleeping in the snow again
>She looks up, "Sure! You can sleep in the guest room!" and she grabs your arm again, leading you up the stairs, and into a small room with a bed.
I can take it from here.
>She leaves the room, so you set your watch alarms to go off early in the morning, and then unsling your pack, and remove a door stopper/locker, jamming it under the door knob
>Gotta stay safe

2/x

>The unnatural aggrivating and irriating sound of your alarm awakes you, causing your body to jerk up and turn it off, before rubbing your eyes
>The air is cold, clammy, the time is 0600, shifting out of the bed and into your boots and clothing, you remove the door stopper, and sling your pack
>It seems the other people in this home have already awoken, Pinkie Pie is outside of a room down the hall, talking to two ponies, seemingly older
>They seems to be talking about you
>They take cautious looks in your direction, before Pinkie assures them that you mean no harm
>A warm smile welcomes you from the female, the male remains a bit cautious
Hello there, Mr and Ms...?
>"Cake, and you are?"
Anonymous, would you mind if I had breakfast before I left?
>"Sure! Would you like some pastries, or maybe a bagel with jam?"
Well I suppose I could, but I have my own food I can eat
>The three of you head downstairs, you seat yourself at one of the tables, unslinging your pack and reaching into one of the pockets, taking out a nice can of beans
>Pulling the tab, you pull off your mask and dig in with a spork.

3/x

>As the cakes return with their breakfast, they examine your face, probably noting the fact that you have one and It's not just cloth
>Nodding to them, you continue eating, before finishing up the entire can
May I wash this in the sink? I'd like to reuse the can.
>"I would have no issue with that, go ahead." Says Ms. Cake
>The ice cold water running over your exposed wrist sends shivers down your arm and spine
>Once it's washed, you dry it with a hankerchief
I suppose I should go now, let you live your own life, I thank you for letting me sleep here tonight, good luck to you in the future.
>You wave them off, and they wave back, as you open the door, the cold air hits your face so you secure your mask back on. Ponies dot the street everywhere, much unlike back home, where nobody is out in the snow
>Some stare at you, some look at you oddly, but some pay no attention at all
>W/e, no skin off your back
>Your boots crunch through the snow, leading you deeper into the town
>Eventually you've made it to what appears to be a town square, a large building pierces the sky, several important looking people walking around, a few suited ponies, and then a few police officers
>The police officers wearily look at you, before sharpening their gaze and approach you
>Goddamnit

4/x

>You begin to jog, full sprint, through the streets and alleys of the cities, the police begin to gain on you, but within a few minutes into your sprint, they begin to pant heavily and slow down
>Long legs fuck yer, endurance training pays off
>Within 10 minutes you've lost them entirely, hiding in an alleyway between two buildings, a cellar door next to your boot
>A quick pull shows its opened, drawing your 100 lumen flashlight from your side pouch, the room is illuminated
>It's filled with cans, and cans, and more cans of food, a thick layer of dust coats all the surfaces, old posters dot the walls, nothing seems familiar, a large amount of wood lays in the corner, and a drain placed in the center of the room
>A pull string light illuminates the room better, and you put your flashlight away
>Grabbing a broom in the corner, you begin to sweep the dust over a drain in the middle of the room, and searching around the room
>"EMERGENCY WATER: CANNED"
>Perfect
>Popping it open, you pour the water on the dust, getting it all the way down the drain, and leaving the room cleaner, and then heading up to the door, closing it and securing a plank in the slot
>Base of operations obtained
>Time to make your office
>Taking the wood in the corner, and a few nails scattered around and the back of your axe, you manage to cobble together a desk, and a small chair within two hours

5/x

>Unwrapping the wool blanket from the bottom of your pack, you set up a bed in the corner of the room, and then begin to set up your desk
>Taking out your trusty laptop, mp3, and phone, you rig them together to charge from the laptop, and then take out your solar pack
>Plugging in the laptop charger into the solar pack, and plugging in the extention cord, you open the door of the base, punch a hole in it for the wire, and set up the panel up the alleyway, before going back down.
>The blinking light shows its slowly charging, slowly, booting up, the Ubuntu loading screen shows its working, and it boots into N/A
>The desktop is covered in documents, info folders, various different pictures and information files
>PDFs and makeshift DIY pictures all are found in one folder
>Setting the settings to use the least power, and to turn off within 5 minutes and lock,
>After a few hours of learning, reading saved threads, reading info files and watching movies, you get awful bored sitting, and begin to look around for something to do.
>The door needs a lock and you need a ranged weapon, any guns you had were probably at home, carrying those in a bushcraft case just is asking for trouble
>Peering around, your eye catches the sight of a straight yew stave
>Longbow, yes

6/x

>Within 90 minutes of work, the stave is properly shaped, thinned, and ready to be strung, paracord is tied correctly and so begins the process
>Getting smacked in the face 80 times trying to trying it is all part of the process
>Finally, the bow is strung, and a pull check shows it will not snap when shot, now for the arrows
>A few straight bamboo sticks about 2-3 feet long seem to work fine, a notch in the bike and a bit of fletching, tarring, feathering, and sharpening leads to some good fire hardened arrows
>The vest has a great pouch on the side of the arrow hand, acting as a quiver
>After a quick bathroom break, you begin to sit down and admire your work
>Slowly but surely your eyes begin to droop, and you begin to fall asleep
>Gladly, you welcome yourself into your bed, the wool warming every inch of your body
>Sleep comes easily

7/7