Your Babbling Knight Takes You to the Market Script

Your Babbling Knight Takes You to the Market
by Time Passers

[M4A] [Fantasy] [Half-human Listener] [Comedic] [Market] [Crowds]

Against your gut, you decided to accept your silly knight's offer to accompany him back to the village he's staying in. On your own it's going to take some time, you've begun to realize, before you're in a position to reclaim your stolen home. You may as well look for help even among humans. After spending the night on an actual bed for the first time in ages, you're ready to look around your new home with him.

-------------------------------------

[Scene opens with what would sound like the tolling of a church bell; a general ambience of a decently busy village street fades in, along with the voice of the speaker]

[Thomas]: ...so if you want to go traveling from the inn and ever get lost, you can always follow along the fencing and you’ll eventually find your way back. Maybe you won’t have any trouble navigating a village like this, but as for me I got turned around quite a bit when I was first living in these parts.

But anyway, are you enjoying your first look at the place so far? I know you weren’t exactly eager to be here around humans, but I really appreciate you trusting me anyway. And these people are friendly, right? Friendlier than they were where you came from, at least. Maybe one or two people have given me grief for being from Shores Keep instead of a native-born Strider, but--

Oh! And here on this main street is the market; they keep it set up almost permanently. Can you see up ahead?

It is pretty busy, yes. Its grown a lot even since I’ve been here; I guess it must have something to do with the refugees passing through from the Southern Kingdom. Plus, as you'll see, even the half-human folk have been coming out of the wilderness to do business sometimes. --Like you, eh?

Did you want to come have a look? I know we haven’t got a lot of money between the two of us right now, but--

[Speaker cuts off as if interrupted; beat]

Are you nervous? Is it because there’s more people there? But you’ve been fine so far…

I won’t force you to go look, of course. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll be right by your side. If anyone causes you any trouble, they’ll have me to deal with. And I know--I may not be that great at handling monsters yet, as you’ve said. But I’m a lot better at handling humans.

I remember there was one time when I was shopping, and a thief tried to come up from behind and steal my coinpurse. I yanked him right back and put a stop to that! Even got an apology out of him when I was done.

Uh, of course, I haven’t had to deal with people in that way very often. Like I said, most people in this village are pretty friendly.

[Beat]

Oh, you must be serious if you’re saying something like that, with how prickly you are. Don’t worry, I promise I won’t leave your side. Then you’ll see, there’s nothing to worry about.

Great! Come on!

[The ambient sounds of the village get a little louder or more noisy (or simply change in nature) as speaker and listener enter the market]

Yes, there is a lot of food here. Humans have to eat too, after all. Not enough fish for my taste, though. I guess you’d have to be closer to the coast for that. [Sighs] Nothing wrong with a bit of venison, but I do miss the catch from Shore’s Keep.

Lots of fresh produce this way, too; you would think a place called Dead Willow Stride wouldn’t have that many vegetables growing in it, but apparently you’d be wrong. I’ve never seen so much skirret in all my life; the innkeeper makes her pies with it. Do you want to try a piece sometime? Me, personally, I’m looking forward to when the apple-picking starts; we’re going to have a huge line of carts for them when that happens. And when you find a rotten apple, you can put it on a stick and throw it, and that's always fun.

You know, sometimes I’ve tried to go hunting to get meat to take back to the butcher. But [sheepishly] as it turns out, I’m not so great with tracking. The deer always seem to hear me coming and run off before I can get into a good position. Or they attack me. I’m not all that skilled with a bow and arrow anyway--I know enough to serve in a pinch, mind, but it’s harder when it’s a moving target. And I--

Oh, do you smell that? I think the baker’s put his goods out already. Yes… I can smell it from here. What do you think, should we get something? Since you keep bringing up food, what kind does your kind usually eat, anyway? I didn’t see you having much of the inn’s breakfast this morning.

Well, that’s a relief; naturally, though, if it was going to be a problem finding you food to eat, I would have made it my priority to get something.

[Sniffs]

Ah, it smells good though. The bread, I mean, not what you said. I ate breakfast but I could do with a second one. Um, exactly how much have I got on me…? [sound of coins jingling, Thomas briefly and quietly counts] Hmmmm, not a lot…

Well…

[Hesitantly] I can always get something to eat later.

Anyway--hey, what are you staring at? This square isn't too crowded for you, right? Just checking in…

What was that? [Beat; a bit more nervously] Right, that is a snake-folk over there. I’m not sure what he’s selling at the moment, I think it varies by the day. Odds and ends; I think he goes out into the woods to find things. I do too, but I don’t usually sell it…

Oh. He’s waving at you. Did you--? Should we--? Do I--?

Ah! Do you see that dry goods cart up there? I know the tailor that runs it; I get my clothes from him. He’s a lifesaver; he gives me a discount, you know, which is good! Because I’m always making a mess of my tunics.

[Pause]

No, I’m afraid real silk is too expensive for anyone to supply it here. You’d probably have to take it from the spider-folk in the forests, and that’s if you can convince them to part with it without their killing you first. You’re the only person I know who’s seen them and lived to tell about it. So we have to keep dressing a bit rough, I’m afraid. But--I mean, the tailor does do good work. I don’t want to insult him, of course.

… You have surprisingly expensive tastes, Dweller! What kind of things did you have access to back in your home country, eh?

Sorry, sorry, I’m just trying to make a joke.

[Pauses, starts to muse to himself] Actually, if you did manage to get your hands on spider silk, I think you could part with it for a lot of money. It’d be considered quite the rare find.

Ah! That building there belongs to the village doctor, it’s where I dropped off the herbs I gathered up last time I was in the forest. I guess she's not manning her cart today. [Beat] I don’t know how well she tends to half-human folk but if you do get injured it’d be worth it to check in with her. She’s very kind, and always has little quests for me to do.

Oh, yes, that’s right! Quests. That’s another thing I always like about the market. The people here always have something for you to do if you ask around. You get to keep yourself sharp, and you don’t have to compete with other do-gooders to help like you do in the city. For a knight-errant like me, that’s a blessing.

I’ve been on a lot of quests since I came here. Almost all of them came from decent folk like the doctor or shopkeepers who ask me to lend a hand when I come round. There’s a message board in the center square down there that has tasks listed on it too; I’ll take a couple when I’m light on things to do.

[Beat]

… Wait, wha--what do you mean those don’t count as quests? Some of them were pretty hard! I’ve rescued people, found lost belongings, and I’ve been trying to help the refugees from the south find safety…

‘Errands’, you say! An errand is a quick jaunt to the apothecary to pick up bandages and healing tonics.

I admit, maybe none of it quite compares to the big quest you’re on. But every bit of experience I get out here helps me. Helps me to be… uh… stronger. Better with my equipment. More capable. If I can keep at it, I’m not going to be the kind of knight you need to rescue again, I can promise you that.

Anyway, there’s always a chance that some traveler or other will come through this village who needs something big done. Actually, I might have missed my chance by a week. There’s a blacksmith who told me while he was hammering out my shield that, before I arrived, some Reachers passed by on the way to the Marches. He said they came a long way looking for someone of theirs who’d been kidnapped. ...I wish I could have lent some help; maybe they’ll end up back here one day.

Not that helping the people here isn’t important.

… You know, taking on quests from these villagers could help you with your goal, too. --Not even just them, there are other villages in this territory that you can ask around at too, if you’re willing. They’d at least pay you.

Not very much, mind… there was one woman who paid me with a skirret. But from what I understand you didn’t have any money at all to your name when we first met. At least, I assume that was why you were trying to steal my things.

[Beat]

Well... there’s lots of people here. As I was saying before, I’m sure we could ask any one of them if they need a hand, and we’d find someone with something to do.

You want to? Brilliant! I’ll come with you! I’ve never had someone else to do quests with. Not counting those times when I ran into you out in the forest.

Huh? First--what?

[Small sound of rustling fabric as listener takes something from their pocket]

You got me something? Well, hand it here. What is this? Is it--

Oh, it’s… it’s pastry from the baker. And this is for me, you said?

[Beat]

I am not wasting away! I happen to get enough to eat just fine; y-you’re the one who looks like they’ve been wasting away in the woods for months. Unless you’re going to tell me that that’s just how your kind always--

No, no, I’m sorry, you’re right. That’s so sweet of you to be paying attention like that! 'Lot of the time, what I say seems to go in one person’s ear and then out the other. Thank you for this.

I should try it while it’s still fresh [Takes a small bite; chews and swallows] Oh… That tastes really good… do you want some?

I didn’t think you had enough money on you. How did you manage to buy this?

…

You did pay for it, right?

[Longer pause]

[Slowly] Uh… tell you what… how about we head back here on another day, and start doing quests then? For today, uh, maybe it’d be a good idea for us to head back to the inn.

[Scene ends with the sounds of the market fading out]