Ava and her Boyfriend

AnnieToday at 5:34 PM
Don't dare stay with anyone who takes out their frustration by breaking things.
It's the shortest of distances between breaking things and breaking people.

AvacyneToday at 5:35 PM
I know but this os the first time hes done it
And I know hes a mess right now

AnnieToday at 5:35 PM
That's fine and all.

AvacyneToday at 5:35 PM
He just lost his dad
And his moms slowly dieing to copd

AnnieToday at 5:36 PM
But first is once too many.  Am I saying leave him?  No,  Am I saying this is his first and last chance to fuck up like this?  Yes.  At least in my view...

AvacyneToday at 5:37 PM
I dunno annie
I just dont
This is the first guy Ive actually wanted to come into my life as more then a friend

AnnieToday at 5:38 PM
I'm only giving you my perspective, hon, and my caution.

AvacyneToday at 5:38 PM
Then this happened

AnnieToday at 5:38 PM
You have to trust your gut and your heart.

AvacyneToday at 5:38 PM
Well let me correct that first guy Ive wanted since my incidents in the army
And I know he needs time to cool off
But just poofing?

AnnieToday at 5:40 PM
All I can say is that from what you've said, I see all sorts of warning signs

AvacyneToday at 5:40 PM
I saw them too with Meka
I stayed next to him while he encased himself in booze and prescription meds
People do some rather insane things when they loose someone close especially if they looked up to them

AnnieToday at 5:41 PM
Ava, just be careful

AvacyneToday at 5:42 PM
I am my gut already says run but it says that even of a guy gets to close to me in walmart
I guess part of my issue is
I want to not be afraid of guys no more
I want to be who I was before the army
And Ive pushed and pushed and pushed
Then the one guy I was willing to take that leap of fauth with
The one guy I could trust more then my childhood friend does this

AnnieToday at 5:45 PM
Just be careful, ok?

AvacyneToday at 5:45 PM
I am
But thankyou

AnnieToday at 5:45 PM
Of course!

AvacyneToday at 5:46 PM
I deleted my stuff in the ravens because I shouldnt have vented like that

AnnieToday at 5:46 PM
I couldn't be a friend and also be silent, hon.

AvacyneToday at 5:46 PM
Especially out of left field like that

AnnieToday at 5:46 PM
Nothing wrong with venting.  Or out of the blue.  G_d knows I've done it often enough.

AvacyneToday at 5:47 PM
I just wanna curl up and goto sleep and not wake up for atleast a week
I didnt sleep last night
I probably wont sleep tonight
I probably wont sleep until he responds
But I fear hes gone for good

AvacyneToday at 5:47 PM
I just wanna curl up and goto sleep and not wake up for atleast a week
I didnt sleep last night
I probably wont sleep tonight
I probably wont sleep until he responds
But I fear hes gone for good
And honestly that worries me more
Even if he appeared today and said its over atleast Id know he hadnt died
He suffers from extreme depression and ptsd
And has admitted to contemplating suicide
And that me and meka and a few of his own friends have always just arrived in time to stop him

AnnieToday at 5:52 PM
The "just in time" is also worrying, hon.  That's cries for attention.

AvacyneToday at 5:53 PM
But heres the thing
He never tells us that we did
It usually comes out once weve managed to get ahold of him when hes drunk enough and hes feeling blabby
Everyone Ive asked said it takes him being plastered to get him to blab about his emotions
Hes one of those men who will be masculine even if it accost him his sanity or booze finally make him let it out
Its a super dangerous thing

AvacyneToday at 5:56 PM
Cause he dont vent it when he needs to

AvacyneToday at 5:56 PM
Im just praying
That this wasnt our last conversation
Me calling him a asshole
I dont think I could handle that well knowing that because I got snappy with him and said what I did and it ended that way
Id hate myself