I didn't realize until now you had me at every step, stuck on a string you had for almost 3 fucking years. And now this one is for you, you may never read this now, but I'm sure you can understand how much I hate you, I'm sure you can understand that you're nothing more than a whore. I'm laying here on my bed thinking to myself with tears rolling down my cheeks, how could you fucking do this of all things? All this time, how could I be so blind, I remember when you drove to my house in the middle of the night to save me from my myself. Now I've got the message, you used me for your game, the ace of spades, the king of the empire, the King on the black and white board. I was for your little game and I was the only piece you didn't want missing. Everyone told me I shouldn't waste my time with your lies, you flopped around your tits. You lost your virginity younger than I did. You were my first kiss, I was the last one in line of value to you though. Nothing is going to change, after all this you knew I couldn't trust, you knew I couldn't love, you knew I only trusted the ones who knew me before I changed. Then you go off and play my heart. Now it's funny how you've turned into such of a joke. So pray to YOUR God and keep the pictures. Keep the keys to my house, keep the memories. I'll move on, you'll stay lost in your games. You call me crazy? I call it suicidal trying to be anywhere close to you. I doubt a single thing will change, I loved your family. How could you be raised so wrong? Was it the way your parents? Was it the terrible choices you made for yourself? I can feel it in the air, I may be addicted to the Masochism you put me through, but the pain isn't worth the price. Now to every soul broken and deceived heart, I want you to lift your eyes to the one who murdered your emotion, your trust. Tell me, who tore it apart. Your fucking betrayal, his fucking lies. If only he knew about the bullshit and the lies, if only I knew. I'm tearing apart my own fucking mind trying to drug down every memory I shared with you. So here's this to the last year, I pour it down the drain with all the memories and Alcohol. I used to treasure every moment we shared but now all I want to do is forget it all. Never let a single soul that far into my heart again. You've payed no price for your sins, blood of the lamb you say? I say fuck God. If he was here now, if was ever there, I would have been saved. You said it'd be forever, but I'm not so naive to believe that. You ran away from it all, I had to face everything for you, you'll never find another person like me. Never in your Fucking life. Now it's been 3 years, look at where you are now?! I've got something to say, about the last twelve months I've lived, I'm not the same kid you knew back then. You keep wishing you were better and I'll keep making you have to. I hope you know the family I lost over you, I hope you know the pain I put you through. And oh my fucking God, you made me lose control. I watch accidents in a sick attempt to try one. I was never the same after you took the only thing I had left. Now I'll sit back and look at this last year, and watch you run from your fears, because I told you. I fucking told you never to love me. This pain is something you'll never swallow. My best friend is a doctor who holds my shaking hand. He gives me medicine, it all makes me feel at home. It slowly steals me over, and I tell him I still feel alone. He says it'll all be over soon. This is the only life I knew, you were the only love I hated so much. I've lost all feeling because of your choices. Wasted so much time with you, now if anyone opens up my chest again. They'll find no heart, but instead they'll find a mess of hate towards you. I've tried escaping too many times, I've become to much like you. I can feel the water. It's rising above me. You said take your hand, you could save me. That I had to trust you, I was a fish caught on bait. You tore what little I had left of my heart. Tell me, how stubborn are the scars when they refuse to fade away. A gentle reminder that today are better days? No a gentle reminder that battles were fought and lost upon. For nothing could Seal the guilt except for a blade and a noose around your neck. Choking on your lies, and drowning in my regret, I swear to God if this is the death of me. I will be the ghost in your heart. So tell me dear, can your heart still break if it's already stopped beating?