lasers to the face (receiving)

so i've had exactly one laser facial so far, so i can't speak to the long-term effects of laser treatment. but i feel like i can answer some of the questions that i had before i went in for my first treatment. okay, first of all:

DO I HAVE TO LET MY STUBBLE GROW OUT?

this was one of the things i'd heard that had me terrified of starting laser. the thought of having to go out into the world unshaven is incredibly dysphoric for me. fortunately, you DON'T have to grow out your facial hair prior to laser. (you might have to for electrolysis.) the day of my first session, i shaved in the morning and didn't wear any make-up, and my clinician still worried for a moment that i might be too stubbly. i brought my make-up, fyi, so that i could apply it after my session.

SO WHAT'S IT LIKE?

they say (the technicians who were operating the laser face machine for me) that everyone describes it differently. for me, it was like being tattooed in the face, while blindfolded. (they put a pair of metal sunglasses on you, because the laser is extremely bright and you don't want to look at it.) they lube the section of your face that they're gonna do with numbing cream. then one technician would drag a cold wand in a line across that section, and the laser would follow it. because of the wand, i always knew where the laser was going to fire before it did, which helped with anticipation anxiety.

the laser feels like a series of hot fast needle-pokes, just like someone drawing a line on a tattoo. towards the edge of my face and on my lower neck, it didn't hurt very much. approaching the chin, it hurt a lot more. my technicians said that for most people, the upper lip is the most sensitive area, but that wasn't the case for me. between my lower lip and my chin was the only place i asked them to turn down the LASER LEVEL. you also smell burning - that's your individual facial hairs catching fire! the smell reminds me of the smoke after blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. happy birthday! your wish is finally coming true.

they gave me a stress ball (it was actually heart-shaped) to squeeze, and they chatted about MEDICAL TRAINING stuff while they lasered my face, both of which helped me deal. it was good to have a distraction, and i had a hard time talking while getting laserblasted, so i just squeezed my foam heart and listened to them gab. i want to say it took them half an hour to cover all of my face? i was ready to be done when they stopped: i wouldn't have wanted to do any more. it's not the most intense pain i've ever been in (that would be EMOTIONAL PAIN, followed by tooth pain), but it does hurt.

WHAT'S YOUR FACE LIKE NOW?

weird. i've been more self-conscious of my facial hair since my laser session than i have been in a long time. i'm not sure whether that's psychosomatic or whether laser has somehow made it harder for me to shave, but my facial hair feels splotchy and i don't feel like i'm getting as close a shave. i have to put sunscreen on it every morning - SPF 45 at least - because laser-treated skin can sunburn even when you're indoors!

there was a big red splotch on my upper lip just after the treatment, when they gave me a mirror to look at myself in. it went away by the time my partner saw me in the waiting room. aside from the uneasy sense that i'm not getting as close a shave, my face looks normal again. my next session's in a month and change, because that's how long you're supposed to spend recovering between sessions. i've been told it'll be at least five sessions before all of the hair that's likely to burn off will do so. my clinician said i can expect laser to get rid of about 80% of the hair on my face: for the rest, there's electrolysis, or tweezers, or whatever.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

phew. kind of a lot, normally. one of my technicians told me that at a spa the treatment i'd received would have cost $900. i think that's kind of high end - i feel like the 200-400 area is more likely. me, i was fortunate to have a laser doctor recommended to me that specifically sees trans women and doesn't charge a lot. i also had to wait for over a year for her to get a regular clinic space that was accessible to me. i live in the east bay area, a place that probably has a higher density of trans ladies than many, and i don't expect there are clinics like this one everywhere. that's what gofundme's for, i guess.