Summer Clouds Over Canterlot I

>Equestria was currently enveloped by the beauty of summer.
>There had been no villains, nary the hint of a plot, and word from Ponyville suggested that even Caramel had been in a jovial mood as of late.
>The spirit of the season had taken hold in Canterlot where couples flittered about in the street trying their darndest to stay in the sunlight, frequently stopping to enjoy the cool breeze that circulated the labyrinthine streets.
>On the rolling parkland foals could be seen flying kites, sailing small boats on the artificial lake, and climbing the trees.
>Equestria was at peace.
>But there was one place that the summer sun didn’t reach, metaphorically speaking of course, since in this case it was the home of Princess Celestia, Canterlot Castle.
>The sunlight shone off its ivory façade and danced up the tower to greet the day herself.
>Those who had met the princess would say that she always had a smile on her face, lending neatly to a well known legend.
>According to Literate Locution, a renowned scholar and wordsmith from Buckinghamshire, Celestia was the reason that ‘beam’ meant both ‘to radiate light’ and ‘to smile radiantly’.
>Though she thought it a silly foal’s tale, there was something immensely flattering about her ponies making up such a story.
>Needless to say, there was a smile plainly on Celestia’s lips as she looked through her telescope.
>Pony watching was a favorite pastime of the pony princess.
>Often it reminded her why she was needed and gave her the strength to push through the monotonous schedule that hung over her day in, day out.

>According to her internal clock, which was never wrong, it was 10:28 exactly.
>Some ponies in the past had criticized her management of the celestial body, citing instances where days were missing hours or times where the sun had barely moved until it was suddenly sunset, but controlling the sun ultimately meant that Equestria ran on her time, however wrong that it may be.
>Meanwhile, a short gallop across the city at Make Time’s Clock Shoppe the clocks all showed 10:46 as the correct time.
>At this hour her sister and all of the ponies associated with the Night Court would be sleeping the gentle sleep afforded them by their heavy drapes.
>It was time for the princess to act.
>Raven would be seeing to all of her appointments for the next half hour.
>All that was left to do was cross the castle undetected.

>Just like yesterday and the day before Rough Justice was standing guard in front of the doors to the royal archives with Small Arms beside her.
>Nothing of note ever happened but it was a very important duty, the last guards evidently allowed Princess Twilight to break in and steal a time travel spell.
>Nothing came of it but that spell in the wrong hooves could have done serious damage.
>Sometimes she wondered what else was in there, what dangerous spells they were keeping out of the hooves of evil, but most of the time she stared at the wall.
>It was a nice white wall.
>It had a little tape of red wallpaper running atop the molding, very dignified looking by her estimate.
>Suddenly, she sensed movement on the edge of her vision and turned to see Princess Celestia peering around the corner of the hallway suspiciously, her eyes darting from here to there erratically.
“Small, the princess is coming.” Whipping her head back both mares stood at attention awaiting Princess Celestia’s calm smile and noble gait.
>Seconds passed.
>Rough could see the princess making her way down the hall in her periphery but couldn’t tell what was taking her so long.
>Maybe this was a test.
>A few seconds later Celestia passed in front of them doing a tiptoe that could only be described as an octopus dancing through a cactus patch.
“Good Morning Princess Celestia.” Both guardmares said in unison as they saluted the sneaking princess, but she paid them no mind and continued her bizarre behavior.
>Occasionally she would flatten herself against the wall or hide behind a statue, but after a minute or two she turned into an adjacent hallway and out of Rough Justice and Small Arms’ day.
“What do you think she was doing?” said Rough, who thought that she could hear the princess humming a song as she went by.
>“No doubt something important.” Small Arms said gruffly. “Now look at the wall and shut up.”

>Currently Celestia was en route to a place that only existed in whispers.
>The Red Lounge.
>Truly, nopony had whispered about it in almost two centuries, but Celestia liked being dramatic.
>Teleporting past an oak door and into a small gallery at the west end of the castle, she arrived at her destination.
>Nopony ever entered this room, even Celestia only visited in times of trouble.
>Numerous paintings and ancient art forms chronicling her and her sister’s lives lined the walls of the small dusty room.
>Memories were all around her.
>To her left was a petroglyph featuring the sisters being honored as goddesses.
>To her right a tile mosaic of their celebration over the Marecedonians.
>Luna had always liked that one.
>Admittedly her sister’s time as the goddess of sleep and wine suited her, but Celestia thought that she wore the toga better.
>She had a broader back.
>She couldn’t help that she looked good in anything.
>Her hooves faintly glimmered with magic as she glided over the undisturbed dust until she stood in front of a large painting of herself.
>Speaking of looking good in anything.
>It was from her Regency Period, a very flattering picture of her in uniform, her vibrant chest tuft saucily peaking out and the feathering on her hooves long and flowing in the wind.
>It was how all the marely mares wore them back in the day.
>Not everypony could grow them out like hers though, so mares got jealous and the style died.
>After a moment of reflection she stepped through the painting to enter the lounge.
>The Red Lounge.
>La Rouge Chambre as the Prench say.
>It was a simple room with a singular purpose.
>The last time she had to use this room was during The Prohibition one hundred and eighty years ago.
>To most it was a short lived prohibition that wasn’t important enough to get a mention in anything but the most thorough of history books, but to Celestia it was The Prohibition.

>It was their hoof in the wretched event that forced the noble Pie family to flee Canterlot to escape the princess’ unbridled fury.
>But that was in the past.
>Celestia would never allow history to repeat itself.
>Walking across the red velvet that covered the floor she made her way over to the only objects in the rather barebones room, a low standing table and a very comfy red cushion.
>Seating herself she opened the old dumbwaiter in the corner, then floated its contents over and set them on the table.
>She closed her eyes and listened.
>For anything.
>The slightest sound.
>All she heard was absolute silence.
>Turning her attention to the silver tray before her she flung the lid aside to gaze upon the treasure beneath.
“Sweet, delicious cake.”
>Celestia was on a diet and Raven, bless her heart, was helping her break it.
>Allegedly Celestia was overweight.
>At least according to the royal tailor, and the royal doctor, and the press, but what do little ponies like them know anyway?
>Celestia was significantly bigger than most ponies, it wasn’t her problem that they didn’t know that her current weight was perfect for her size.
>But Luna wouldn’t hear it, supposedly at her current weight she couldn’t fit into her old Centennial Soirée dress, the old rag.
>This was the reason she stopped wearing clothes, too much trouble.
>She tried to tell her sister that the dress wasn’t important but when it came to upholding traditions Luna was a rock.
>Her words were fresh in Celestia’s mind.
>‘What would we be without tradition sister?’ Celestia knew the question was always rhetorical but it irritated her regardless, even in memory.

>‘That’s right, without tradition we would be no better than the dirty Wrawl barbarians.’ She had thought of telling her sister that the Wrawl’s did indeed have traditions but she knew Luna well enough to know her answer would only be a laugh followed with something to the effect of ‘Not after what we did they didn’t.’
>But Luna wasn’t there.
>Her sister and any other threats to her precious cake were far away sleeping in their beds.
>There was no silverware on the tray.
>Celestia didn’t need silverware for what she was about to do.
>Salivation dripped from her muzzle, the princess was alone so there was no need for formality.
>It was just her and the cake.
>Her first cake in weeks.
>Inching closer, ever closer she closed her eyes to heighten the experience.
>Unbeknownst to the would-be gluttonous ruler it was when she closed her eyes that a pair of spectacles materialized into the lounge.
>The Red Lounge.
>”Ehehmmmm.” A poignant clearing of the throat brought Celestia’s bliss to premature end.
>Celestia didn’t need to open her eyes for this was the sound that haunted her every waking moment, as well as her dreams, for the last two months.
>The princess didn’t hate anypony.
>But she didn’t like this mare.
>Upon opening, her eyes were assaulted with the vision that was Nosey Parker, Luna’s new royal aide.
>Initially Celestia had been thrilled when Luna voiced her desire to have an aide of her own that could help her with the Night Court and her other princessly duties.
>It was adorable that she wanted her own Raven.
>So against her better judgment Celestia scoured Equestria for the best and the best it just so happened was Nosey Parker.
>Ms. Parker took to the job like a gryphon takes to gold.
>To be honest she could probably run the country without either Celestia or Luna lifting a hoof, she really was the best.

>Things were fine until she was tasked with planning the Centennial Soirée and discovered that infernal dress.
>Luna may have been the pony that forced it upon her, but Nosey Parker was the mastermind behind Celestia’s diet.
>And that fact was unforgivable.
>The glaring spectacles were held up by a short grey earth pony who was frowning, not because she was angry, merely because she was disappointed.
>When the spectacles ceased their patronizing glare Celestia could see the piercing bird-like eyes beneath looking at her like a father looking at his foal after having caught her swearing.
>Resigning herself to her cakeless fate the princess put on her best smile.
“Good morning Nosey Parker,” Celestia glanced out the window casually taking note of the time, “I didn’t think you would be awake at this hour.”
>”Normally I wouldn’t be Princess,” she said eyeing the cake and silently judging, “but there is an issue that needs your attention.”
>It was then that Luna stepped through the wall after having spent a moment reminiscing in the gallery.
>“Oh Tia… thou art here.” For a fraction of a second she looked at the cake, Celestia saw her look at it, but she continued on as if it wasn’t there instead turning to Nosey. “Splendid work finding her Ms. Parker.”
>“It is nothing my princess, only doing my duty.” Nosey dipped her head at the praise.
>“But how did thee find her?” Luna asked with a sideways look to her sister, a smile on her muzzle, knowing what was coming.
>“Well, after you woke me and informed me on ‘the situation’ I set myself to work.” Celestia rolled her eyes. “After getting the information you had asked, the only task left at hoof was finding Princess Celestia who was uncharacteristically absent from Day Court. So seeing that Raven was doing her duties, and how startled she was upon seeing me awake, I concluded that the princess must be somewhere cheating on her diet while the both of us slept.”

>Celestia frowned at the implication that she was doing something wrong. It was a brilliant plan to break the shackles of a two month long diet, but this made it seem like a cowardly scheme.
>“I had planned for a scenario like this when we put her diet in place. During my research on places she could sneak off to I discovered a rumor that the princess had a room known as The Red Lounge that she utilized during the cake prohibition. I confirmed that it was much more than a rumor upon finding a receipt to a Mr.Ruby Rouge that detailed his work on the instillation of a red room during the period. As we don’t have any rooms matching the description I consulted the royal archives and found that older copies of the castle blueprints didn’t match up to the plans during and after the prohibition era.” After taking a breath she turned to Luna. “But I couldn’t have found this room without your help Princess Luna, as I have no way to detect or utilize such advanced illusion magic.”
>Nosey, finally done with her explanation, took a deep bow at the conclusion. Luna’s smile was so wide that it threatened to split her head in two.
>“She’s much too humble, dost thou not think sister?” Luna teased.
>Luna was very proud of her new aide, in fact she boasted about her whenever she could.
>Celestia knew that they were both competitive but the fact that Luna considered Nosey better than Raven insulted her on a personal level.
>Especially since it was Nosey Parker.
>Luna hummed a satisfied little tune until suddenly turning grim.
>“But now is not the time for foalish quarreling sister, thy child needs our help.”
>Celestia’s frown deepened, to her knowledge she had no children.
“Luna if this is another one of your ‘foals from the future’ pranks I’m shaving you bald.”
>Her sister momentarily looked hurt but ended up snickering at the memory.
>”Nay, sister. We mean Anonymous.”
>Oh, Anonymous.
>Anonymous the human ‘man’.

>According to Equestrian law all stallions had to have a legal guardian to care for them until they were married.
>This was usually a stallion’s mother, but Anon being the lone human in Equestria left him without such a mother figure.
>There was no mare to keep such a silly colt like Anonymous safe if he got himself into trouble.
>So just as a formality, legally speaking, Celestia was his mother and would be the one to give him away at his wedding.
>It was something that had completely slipped from Celestia’s mind, though unknown to her Luna took her duties as aunt very seriously.
>She was a mother.
>The thought made her forget about the pain in her stomach.
>A mom.
>Something deep within Celestia awakened, something that had gone unused and was finally called upon to act.
>Her son needed her help.
“What did you say about Anon being in trouble?”
>“Last night when we were watching over the dreams of our little ponies we saw a few scenes, partial memories possibly, involving Anonymous being mistreated by some mare. We woke immediately and assigned Ms. Parker to look into our nephew’s life in Ponyville. Her collected reports from Ponyville indicate that Anonymous, our nephew, is being abused by his special somepony.”
>Anon had a special somepony.
>No, her son had a special somepony.
>Who was hurting him.
>Worry evident on Celestia’s face Luna raised her hoof to keep her from interrupting.
>”Nothing criminal, but thou know how verbal abuse can hurt a colt,” Luna turned away to compose herself, “He says that it ‘isn’t a big deal’ but we know that his smile only masks his pain.”
>”He is truly too good for this world princess.” Nosey interjected.
>”Exactly Ms. Parker, which is why we must force our hoof.” Luna said slamming both of her hooves down on the low table.

>“Sister we have brought our nephew, thine son, here to Canterlot where we will protect him from…” she trailed off and looked to Nosey who pulled out a clipboard and hoofed through various notes.
>“A unicorn mare named ‘Queen Me’, white coat, cerulean blue mane, green eyes. Her cutie mark is chess related, a pawn being promoted into a queen. No known record of employment, no known relatives. I will update the file when I get more information.”
>“Yes, protect him from this barbaric ‘Queen Me’ mare and set him up with a nice mare of our choosing.”
>Luna triumphantly rose up on her hind legs and posed to emphasize the excellence of her capabilities as an aunt.
“But Luna, stallions choose their own partners now.” Celestia paused as she contemplated if she really wanted to take their side in this matter, “And as much as I want to pick out a nice mare for Anon I think his happiness is important, if he likes this mare so be it, perhaps they can work things out.”
>Luna scoffed at her sister’s weak parenting, truly she would have better suited the role of mother.
>”Too late sister mine, we have the perfect fiancée flying over from Prance.” Nosey pulled out a scroll and hoofed it to Luna, “Dost thou remember the Culpa Clan?”
>The cake was pushed to the side and the scroll spread out on the table.
>It appeared to be a very large, and tangled, family tree starting with Luna’s good friends Calpae and her husband Culpa Levis.
>”Ms. Parker had to sift through a thousand years of genealogy work to find her but she found the current Culpa heiress.” Nosey puffed her chest out, happy that the thirty six hours of research she did last week hadn’t been for naught.
>Luna’s hoof pointed to a lone branch sticking out at the bottom of the tree, it read Mea Culpa.
>Celestia’s frown returned.
>She had never liked the Culpa’s, not like Luna did.

>But more importantly did her sister just set her son up with the descendant of a family that she hasn’t spoken to in a thousand years?
“Luna, it’s ironic that you of all ponies call others barbaric.”
>This time Nosey put up a hoof.
>”Princess, think of it this way. If Prince Anonymous and Lady Culpa get along then we can ensure that he will have a happy marriage, but at the same time that doesn’t mean that we have to cut Ms. Queen Me completely from his life.”
“Go on.” Celestia didn’t like Nosey Parker, but she was good at what she did so she would hear her out.
>”If Lady Culpa is the alpha that would mean that Ms. Queen would have to reevaluate how she treats Prince Anonymous if she wants to be allowed into the herd,” both princesses nodded agreeing with her logic, “but on the off chance that Lady Culpa doesn’t work out we just need to keep looking over other eligible mares that can be Prince Anonymous’ alpha and keep Ms. Queen in check so to speak.”
>Celestia sighed.
>It was a shame that there wouldn’t be an eligible Cake scion for over a decade.
”Alright, I’ll go along with your plan Luna. But the press will have a field day with this when it surfaces.”
>”Ehehmmmm.” Nosey cleared her throat again. ”If I may princess.”
>The cursed noise caused Celestia’s ear to twitch.
>“I will handle the press when the time comes. With the circumstances surrounding Prince Anonymous’ flight from Ponyville, as well as his unique position as the son of Princess Celestia, it will be simple to quiet the stallionists in the press.”
>Luna was beaming.
>She was very, very proud of her aide.
“So where is Anon currently?”
>”He is in the dining hall sister, we asked the chefs to prepare a special dish just for our darling nephew.”

>Celestia rose from her incredibly comfy beanbag cushion.
“Well then let us greet him,” after a moment she winced slightly, “and assess the damage…”
>Luna and Nosey nodded solemnly then turned and walked through the illusion wall.
>Princess Celestia moved to follow them but her eyes were drawn to the cake on the table.
>Before she could even lick her lips Nosey reappeared through the wall, trotted over to the table, scooped up the cake tray, set it on her back, and left through the wall without a word.
>The princess fell back onto her cushion dramatically.
“Though the sun is bright and the sky clear, clouds converge over Canterlot.”