Drabble-Matic

The Miracle Of The Cat

Nepeta hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like a cat in heat. She loathed it.

Every December, Nepeta would feel herself getting all furry inside. She refused to put up a Christmas shit, she snapped at anyone firm enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Nepeta had to go to the mall to buy a buff nails. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing hornily around and so much Christmas music blaring angrily, she thought her rectum would explode.

Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a fleshy man collecting for charity. Nepeta never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the fleshy man dropped his bells and ran on a tray of kitty litter. There was a barbed cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the fleshy man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Nepeta rushed out and scarily pushed them both out of the way. There was a cat-like bang and then everything went dark.

When Nepeta woke up, she was in an alien room. There was a Christmas shit in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Nepeta's claws hurt. A lot.

The fleshy man came into the room. "I'm so sharp!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Spockbot. You saved me from the truck. But your claws is broken."

Nepeta hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas shit up and her claws was broken, she felt quite beefy, especially when she looked at Spockbot.

"Your claws must hurt slowly," Spockbot said. "I think this will help." And he pounded Nepeta several times.

Now Nepeta felt very beefy indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Spockbot. "I love you," she said, and kissed Spockbot sleepily.

"I love you too," said Spockbot. Just then, the cat ran into the room and nuzzled Nepeta's penis. "I brought him home with us," Spockbot said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Nepeta said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.