(2:47:15 PM) ***Blueshift_North is waiting outside her ship.  She let Uytana know that she should contact her when she wants to commiserate, or at least talk over what it's like to have your control of your body wrested from you, with someone who's been there.  She honestly didn't know what to expect, but did get a notification, so.  Waiting.
(2:49:11 PM) Ikiryo: Eventually, Uytana turns up looking nervous. Thus, like Uytana. Her outfit is a white mini-dress that goes to mid-thigh and thigh high white platform boots, leaving her with barely any more revealed skin than her jeans and t-shirt. It clings very nicely to said figure though.
(2:49:39 PM) ***Blueshift_North raises an eyebrow.  "Do I want to know?"
(2:54:22 PM) Ikiryo: "...I like it." She looks at her outfit, pouting. "Is something wrong?"
(2:54:55 PM) Blueshift_North: "No it's just normally when people undergo sudden outfit changes they get sex hypnotized."
(2:55:00 PM) Blueshift_North: ". . . Or I change my name."
(2:55:59 PM) Ikiryo: She blushes brilliantly. "N-No...Reise just needed some help and I...I owe her a lot."
(2:57:35 PM) Blueshift_North: "Got it, the kind of help I couldn't do because I have to live with Adelinda and she'd throw the footage at me for minimum three months.  Anyway, you wanted to talk, you want to do it inside or like, go get some eats, or something?"
(2:58:28 PM) Ikiryo: "I havn't had lunch yet." She nods.
(2:59:29 PM) Blueshift_North: "Alright, what sounds good?"
(3:00:26 PM) Ikiryo: "Umm...I'm a vegetarian." She bites her lip. "...part of..." She gestures to her ears. "I can eat meat, vegetables just taste nicer."
(3:05:57 PM) Blueshift_North: "There's a stir fry place a couple blocks from here, they do good fresh seafood in them and have a nice garlic naan I like, and since it's a build your own stir fry place you can make something that'll work for you? Failing that there's a vea
(3:06:08 PM) Blueshift_North: vegan curry place a block in the other direction."
(3:06:22 PM) Ikiryo: "Either of those sounds nice." She nods
(3:07:36 PM) ***Blueshift_North slides upright, then leads the way.  "I can get us a private booth, I've been here enough." She looks a little shifty.  "I eat out a lot."
(3:08:10 PM) Ikiryo: "So d..." She pauses. "Reise orders a lot of food too." She blushes
(3:09:09 PM) Blueshift_North: "Why is that embarrassing?"
(3:09:24 PM) Ikiryo: "D-Doesn't matter." She shakes her head.
(3:12:22 PM) Blueshift_North: ". . . I mean if you're sure.  You can talk to me about whatever, you know that right? I might be chronologically three but I have had a sex AI rummage around in my brain, I'm not exactly "innocent""
(3:15:43 PM) Ikiryo: "I'm fine, we can talk about other things." She shakes her head again.
(3:19:07 PM) ***Blueshift_North shrugs.  "Sure." She walks in, makes quick smalltalk about getting a table in the back, then makes herself something spicy made with kraken.  They get some premium ingredients, despite you having to go into an alley and down, then up a flight of stairs to get in.  It looks like they didn't pay much attention to decorating, but if you look close they're clearly just trying to look like they didn't care that much.  They get
(3:19:07 PM) ***Blueshift_North a booth near the back, and given that it's not quite lunch or dinner, the place is mostly empty.  "So, you want to start, or should I?"
(3:24:48 PM) Ikiryo: "...I...I don't know where to start." She shakes her head. She was rather quiet during most of the smalltalk, evidently not good at it.
(3:26:21 PM) Blueshift_North: ". . . So, I guess I can start here.  Were you conscious? Because I was when it happened to me.  Both times."
(3:27:23 PM) Ikiryo: She nods. "I...I was."
(3:30:55 PM) Blueshift_North: ". . . I'm sorry." She runs her hand through her hair.  "Look this is a little hard to talk about for me too, but I thought it would be a good idea. . . I- wait.  Have I explained what happened to me?"
(3:32:10 PM) Ikiryo: She shakes her head. "No. I...I havn't heard anything."
(3:33:07 PM) Blueshift_North: ". . . So, do you know about the Quori? And my relationship with one of them?"
(3:35:38 PM) Ikiryo: "I learned about the Quori in school." She nods. "And...well, I've heard from South about the latter."
(3:38:16 PM) Blueshift_North: "Right.  Well.  The first time I found out that I had been constructed to act as it's Avatar, my arm attempted to strangle my friend.  And, then I finally opened the box in my head.  It's full of the puppeteer and the only reason I'm even still around is because I have friends who can help me."
(3:40:44 PM) Ikiryo: She shivers, nodding. She bites her lip...and pulls North into a hug
(3:41:55 PM) ***Blueshift_North wraps her arm around her.  "Hey.  It's okay. I'm good now.  As good as I can be.  But I'm trying to say that I get it."
(3:48:57 PM) Ikiryo: "What was it like? To be...well, not yourself?"
(3:53:37 PM) Blueshift_North: "It was bad.  I don't think this is the same as for you, but, I still had enough control of the software to fight back, even if it was a little.  I managed to shove it back in the box. . . with Doctor Sunstar's help.  All told it was less than a minute, and I nearly killed my best friend.  The worst part was that my systems were designed from the ground up for that to happen, so I know that it's commands to my body, my software
(3:53:37 PM) Blueshift_North: have priority.  The other worst part.  Is that everything it thought, it thought in my brain.  And as much as I know I didn't plan to hurt any of them, it doesn't feel true, because I remember the thought to do it happening in my brain." She's very quiet.
(3:55:39 PM) Ikiryo: "...I wanted to do it. I didn't have anyone in my mind." She is equally quiet. "It was just...once I started singing, the song was the most important thing. More than Khaira or you or Reise. I knew you were my friends...but it was like breathing. I couldn't stop myself wanting to do it..." She sniffles.
(4:03:34 PM) ***Blueshift_North ruffles her hair.  "You didn't though.  You had a. . . " She tries to search for a word that's not a computer term then sighs. "Zero day exploit.  Someone else was using you as a weapon. And that. . . understatement of the kalpa but that sucks.  And. . . look I could tell you it's going to get better, but it's mostly not going to.  I'm still working through it in therapy. . . but I don't think it's ever going to stop being
(4:03:35 PM) ***Blueshift_North bad.  I wish I could tell you otherwise, but. . . I don't think I'm ever going to be "ok" about this.  I still can't handle puppets.  And. . . well I just have to be okay with that."
(4:10:50 PM) Ikiryo: "...you likely don't want to see the shoot I did." She bites her lip. "And...I...it wasn't you...it was me. I wanted to hate what was happening...I knew it was bad...but I was also the one deciding to keep going."
(4:16:29 PM) Blueshift_North: "That's why I said I was sure it wasn't exactly the same.  But a bad man did a magic thing with a coffin with your soul in it and then you wanted to do the bad thing.  So tell me: Was that really you, or was it something you were made to want?  The emotions still feel authentic because, they happened in your head.  But they're not you, anymore than The Puppeteer hating Sunstar was something that was me.  I remember feeling that,
(4:16:30 PM) Blueshift_North: like it was something I felt.  Even if it didn't come from the part of my brain that's me."
(4:19:35 PM) Ikiryo: "...I like singing..." She avoids the question.
(4:21:13 PM) Blueshift_North: "Don't tell Adelinda but I do too.  Look.  I get it.  You want to take responsibility for what happened, right?"
(4:24:56 PM) Ikiryo: She nods. "I hurt my friends. I wasn't strong enough to not want to do it..."
(4:27:17 PM) Blueshift_North: "And? I opened the box that had The Puppeteer in it.  Someone made you want that.  Who is more responsible here?"
(4:30:24 PM) Ikiryo: "...me."
(4:31:20 PM) Blueshift_North: "Because someone manipulated your soul?"
(4:31:49 PM) Ikiryo: "Becuase I wasn't strong enough...brave enough."
(4:39:09 PM) Blueshift_North: "And? What could you have done before you were stripped of the ability to want to stop? You didn't open the thing with your problem in it.  I did.  I fought back, sure, but the only reason I was able to do anything, was because I had strong friends there.  Does that sound familiar?"
(4:40:13 PM) Ikiryo: She's silent, though she does nod.
(4:43:07 PM) Blueshift_North: ". . . You were on your own for a while, right?" She seems to be changing topic, but appears to be going somewhere with this.
(4:43:45 PM) Ikiryo: "...when?"
(4:45:18 PM) Blueshift_North: "Before Sigil? Did I read that wrong?"
(4:46:12 PM) Ikiryo: "Oh...no." She nods. "That's right..."
(4:47:50 PM) Blueshift_North: "So, you're not used to this idea, because I wasn't either: You can't do everything alone, and you're not responsible for everything that happens."
(4:52:12 PM) Ikiryo: "...I've always been responcible, as long as I can remember. Because of my father..." She bites her lip but sits up a bit straighter
(4:53:44 PM) Blueshift_North: "Right.  So.  Newsflash.  You don't have to be."
(4:54:37 PM) Ikiryo: She nods again.
(4:55:30 PM) Ikiryo: The food they ordered soon arrives. Uytana ordered a vegetable stir fry that looks very heavy on the carrots.
(4:57:03 PM) ***Blueshift_North starts eating.  "That includes.  Things you did not, for instance, decide to do, and were, instead, mystically compelled to want to do."
(4:57:45 PM) Ikiryo: She nods, digging into her own. "I just...I want to be a good person."
(5:01:59 PM) Blueshift_North: "By whose metric?"
(5:06:14 PM) Ikiryo: "...what do you mean?"
(5:07:04 PM) Blueshift_North: "You want to be a good person, right?  Who, at the end of the day, in your mind, decides if that's true or not?"
(5:07:46 PM) Ikiryo: "...I don't know. Other people?"
(5:11:26 PM) Blueshift_North: "Which people? Because I think if you knocked on the door of, say Reise, you'd get an affirmative.  If you knocked on the cell door of any of the boy band members, probably a negative, and if you knocked on the door of the manager of this resteraunt, you'd get "Who are you?"  And.  This is all moot because how does being forced to want something make you a bad person?"
(5:16:36 PM) Ikiryo: "...it's not just that." She bites her lip. "I'm just...not a good person. I want bad things and do bad things even without it..."
(5:17:06 PM) Blueshift_North: "Like what?"
(5:21:23 PM) Ikiryo: "I...I like blood." She sighs. "...and lie to my friends. I'm not...I'm not vegetarian because of the change. I'm vegetarian because I really like blood." She blushes
(5:23:34 PM) ***Blueshift_North looks around.  ". . . And? Why is that bad.  There's plenty of safe outlets for that."
(5:26:51 PM) Ikiryo: "Because I shouldn't want it. Good people don't want to...lick up blood or...hurt people."
(5:27:19 PM) Blueshift_North: "And? Would you say I'm a good person?"
(5:29:09 PM) Ikiryo: She nods. "Yes. You are a hero."
(5:31:07 PM) Blueshift_North: "Okay and do heroes steal things, raid ships and smuggle illegal goods? Work for inter-stellar crime organizations?"
(5:31:13 PM) Blueshift_North: "Because that's all stuff I do."
(5:31:33 PM) Ikiryo: "...I...well...but you ALSO do good things."
(5:34:04 PM) Blueshift_North: "So do you? What's the difference? Most people would say drinking blood and hurting people, if they're the right people, are better."
(5:34:42 PM) Blueshift_North: "There's over a trillion hours of vampire cop movies I have on hard drive that say this."
(5:35:36 PM) Ikiryo: "...I do?" She looks confused.
(5:37:05 PM) Blueshift_North: "You basically always go into heated situations when everyone else does and help."
(5:37:50 PM) Ikiryo: "...that's only because I don't want you all getting hurt. I'm not a hero."
(5:39:22 PM) Blueshift_North: "So you step into harms way to make sure that the people you care about don't get hurt.  Uytana.  Why do you think I get involved with any of this, at all?"
(5:39:39 PM) Ikiryo: "...because it's the right thing to do?"
(5:46:13 PM) Blueshift_North: "I'm not that high minded.  I've never been in it for anything other than the simple fact that I have friends.  They help me.  And I help them.  That's all there is to it. I hate to break it to you, but there's no inherent goodness instinct in me, or an algorithm to determine the most altruistic action.  There are people I care about and I help them because I care about them.  That's it."
(5:50:13 PM) Ikiryo: "But..." She frowns and gives North a tight hug.
(5:50:41 PM) ***Blueshift_North hugs her back.  "But?"
(5:51:52 PM) Ikiryo: "But...that's...I do that and I'm not a good person..."
(5:54:20 PM) Blueshift_North: "Well, counterpoint: Would a good person let the people they care about get hurt?"
(5:56:27 PM) Ikiryo: "No." She shakes her head.
(5:58:22 PM) Blueshift_North: "So, what's the problem then?"
(5:59:50 PM) Ikiryo: "Everyone always told me I was a bad person...other children, most of my teachers...that many people can't be wrong about me."
(6:02:32 PM) Blueshift_North: "Yeah they can." She says simply.  "How many of them sat down and had a conversation with you like an actual person before deciding that."
(6:08:54 PM) Ikiryo: "...one boy pretended to be my friend for a year before he revealed he'd been telling everyone my secrets."
(6:11:48 PM) Blueshift_North: "So, he decided to to that instead of getting to know you.  And thus didn't ever meet you at all.  Not really."
(6:13:05 PM) Ikiryo: "I guess?" She sighs. "Other than that...umm...just my master. The one who taught me some chronomancy."
(6:14:39 PM) Blueshift_North: "And he didn't think you were evil.  Your honor, the defense rests."
(6:16:17 PM) Ikiryo: She gives a smile to North. "...thank you."
(6:18:04 PM) ***Blueshift_North shrugs.  "No problem?"
(6:24:51 PM) Ikiryo: She hugs her again