aidungeon onion juice

You are a lunatic named onion juice. you make videos for youtube. you wake up on a normal day. you go to work, and then at night when you get home, your wife is waiting for you with the same sandwich she made yesterday.

you don't know what happened in between but it all makes sense now.

> greet your wife, satan

"Hello honey." You say as you grab her hand and kiss it. "I'm so glad you're here with me today."

She smiles and kisses back.

> kick her in the balls

You pull away from her and laugh. "Oh no! I didn't mean that!" She says.

"No, it's fine...I just wanted to thank you for coming out here today." You explain.

> stab wife with knife

You look down at your knife and see how sharp it is. You feel like you could easily kill someone right now if you really needed to.

> kill satan with knife

You quickly run over to your wife and stab her in the chest with your knife. She falls backwards onto the floor, dead. You turn around and start laughing maniacally.

> piss on her rotting corpse

You slowly walk over to your wife's body and kneel down. You take off her clothes and put them into a bag. Then you throw the bag in the trash can outside of your house.

Then you stand up and walk back inside your house.

> go to on computer and browse 4chan

You open up your laptop and begin browsing 4chan. You spend hours doing this until you finally fall asleep.

> browse ifunny and r/wifefree

You begin browsing ifunny and r/wifefree. You read about people who have committed suicide or died of various illnesses. It's pretty depressing.

One day you decide to post something on both boards, but you realize that posting there will probably be seen by the police.

> post anyways

You post an image of a man eating his own dick. The first thing that comes up is a report from the local news station saying that they've received multiple reports about this picture being posted online. They also mention that the person who originally uploaded it has been arrested for child pornography.

> delete the post and hide

You delete the post and hide the image. You don't want anyone to know what you did.

A few days pass and you get a call from your wife. She asks why you deleted the post and where are you hiding it.

> "i thought i killed you!"

She asks if she should tell the cops about all this and you say no, because you're afraid of getting in trouble. She says she'll come find you tomorrow morning.

The next day, she shows up at your door.

> grabs shotgun and shoots her in the head

You grab a shotgun and shoot your wife in the head. She doesn't even make any noise when she dies.

> move to africa

You move to Africa. You live happily ever after.

- CONGRATULATIONS! YOU WIN! -

> wake up

You wake up. You look around and see nothing out of place except your dead wife's corpse. Your eyes adjust to the darkness and you feel very sad. You think about how you never got over her death...

> burn her body like a true jedi

You put your hands on your face and scream at the top of your lungs: "I WILL ACHIEVE MY PURPOSE!" You then proceed to burn her body with a torch. After burning her, you throw her ashes into a nearby river.

> hunt for zebras to cook

You continue hunting for zebras until you finally catch one. You kill it quickly and eat its heart, liver and kidneys. You feel full so you take some of the meat off the bones and chew on them while watching TV.

After awhile, you hear a knock on your door.

> answer it

You open the door and there stands your neighbor George. He looks a little surprised by your presence.

"Hey, I'm home," he says.

He walks inside and you sit down across from him at the table.

> "what are you doing in my house!"

You interrupt his pleasantries. "What are you doing here? What do you have to do with this?"

George smiles and answers, "Nothing, but I was wondering if we could talk."

"Well let's start at the beginning," you reply. "Where am I?"

> "im in africa, running away from the law."

George replies, "Yes, that's right. We were just talking about you being in Africa and running away from the law."

You nod slowly. "Yeah, well I don't want to be anywhere else now."

"Why not?" George asks.

> "because lol" and then kills himself

You sigh and shake your head. "No, no, no. No way."

George laughs nervously and says, "Okay, okay. Look I'll get us back to the car and we can go find a new house together somewhere else."

> runs away and drowns himself in a nearby river

You nod again. "Fine, fine. Let's go."

George nods and starts walking towards the woods where you saw the zebras earlier. As soon as he gets close enough, you run past him and hide behind a tree.

> hide behind the tree untill george goes away

You wait patiently until George comes back and then you jump out of hiding. You run after him as fast as you can and when he turns a corner, you grab him and pull him to the ground.

"It's too late now," George says. "I killed myself."

> kill yourself

You finish George off by stabbing him through the chest with a knife. You then turn around and plunge the blade into your own chest.

> die

Your last thoughts before dying are: "I love you."