A silhouette gone

[01:03] Adar pondered before speaking with no palpable traces of facially emoting. "I quite frankly find him easy to talk to. He may know more about me than you do by this point, which surprises me too."
(Adar Gutt)
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[01:03] Adar Gutt says, "I worry, however. i've seen how big of a martyr he is - I don't like it."
[01:03] Setsuna Ukitake asks, "What do you mean by martyr?"
[01:05] Adar Gutt says, "He's willing to put his life on the line for minimal motives. I've seen him strain. I've seen him hurting over using his power."
[01:05] Setsuna Ukitake says, "He promised me that he wouldn't do that anymore. "
[01:05] Setsuna Ukitake asks, "Er, he told me he'd try not to, anyways. Are you telling me that he still is?"
[01:05] Adar silently lowered his chin. "Well..."
(Adar Gutt)
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[01:05] Adar Gutt says, "He can't know I told you. I can't let you intervene, it gives him purpose."
[01:06] Adar Gutt says, "But he needs to find a plan B, even if the power is unearthly, the toll is grand."
[01:06] Adar Gutt says, "I can't lose him."
[01:06] Adar Gutt says, "But I can't stop him, either."
[01:08] Setsuna Ukitake says, "I am of the same mindset that you are. Perhaps I can tell you something, since you are opening up to me."
[01:08] Setsuna Ukitake says, "Only if you are free. If you are too tired, it can wait."
[01:08] Adar Gutt says, "No. I want to hear it. I don't like it when you keep things to yourself."
[01:09] Adar sighs. "It makes me feel useless."
(Adar Gutt)
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[01:09] Setsuna Ukitake says, "It's unrelated to Tobias, though I think you know who I'll be speaking on. Well, know the person, anyways. I'd like to move somewhere quieter."
[01:10] Adar nodded. "Let's."
(Adar Gutt)
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[01:13] With that, Setsuna quickly led Adar away from the hustle and bustle of the tribes. Out into the jungle, taking one of the commonly used paths. It was a relatively quiet walk, idle chatter as they soon found their way to a cliffside. Not on the beach itself, to avoid the daemons.

The moonlight reflected off the ocean, creating a beautiful scene. A light breeze flowed, while drums and raucous laughter could be heard from the direction of the square.

"Before I rant, or vent, or talk about how I feel. I want to preface this by asking-"

A hard gulp, as her gaze met that of Adar's.

"Are you familiar with Adonis Lowe at all?"
(Setsuna Ukitake)
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[01:22] Was this actually happening? The idea of having Setsuna confide in him had been abandoned somewhere along the way, perhaps even years ago. The Qillin's heart seemed impenetrable - a fortress, only Tobi had received the blessing and responsibility that evading that façade would've meant.

His now fully attentive, serene stare connected with the Fourfold Commander's, whose shell had seemingly started to come off. Adar's hues felt opaque, impenetrable to the moonlight. Whatever glow that met the surface of the pupil would cause a direct mirage on top of it, making it seem as if no areas of transparence existed around it's purple surface.

"Yes. Barely so, however." His friend nodded haltingly, making a clear invitation to speak up on the issue. He'd have to have come across him at least a dozen times in the mountains, the man with the thick ego. His presence was unrivaled, you couldn't have missed him.

"I remember him from the mountainside. What about him?"
(Adar Gutt)
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[01:27] "We have somewhat of a- hm."

Setsuna paused, allowing silence to linger for a few, awkward moments. Seemingly at a loss for words, contemplating how best to describe her relationship with the imposing male.

"Secret history, perhaps?"

Those that lived on the mountainside would know of the man, of course. Perhaps not the strongest, but definitely seen as the type to be a leader. Confident, toxically so.

Setsuna spoke in a hushed tone all the while, as if there were spies attempting to listen in on her conversation.

"Tobias doesn't even know about it, no one does. He was my first kiss, Adar. We've kissed on a few different occasions, have gotten suggestive.. Touched. But nothing further than that. Well-"

Another sigh, before she shook her head.

"He wants to meet me again, but this time go even further. But I've been avoiding him for that very reason. In the moment, I felt like Icouldn't fight it. I don't know. It's all so confusing to me. Regardless, he insisted that everything be kept a secret."

A secret that she had kept.

"I just wanted to confide in someone. Someone that I trust."
(Setsuna Ukitake)
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[01:49] Adar's heart raced violently throughout the full duration of every word, every second of silence. His ribcage had become an imprisonment for a rabid beast, one that would ram the surrounding restraining bars without mercy. The level of inner stress and anxiety the situation had caused him to physically ache.

Unable to comply with the visual contact, the youth of valmasian heritage's watch had no choice but to bolt to the side, losing itself among the clashing seas by the shoreline. No comment could be brought up, no thought fully articulated, no stimulus correctly identified.

Once again, Adar felt in a vacuum. Floating, suspended somewhere deep in the void, asleep, uncapable of associating himself to his body. To his own soul, he felt fully unrecognizable. Where was he? Where did Adar begin, where did he end?

When?

Why?

Why did he loathe the feeling so furiously? Why couldn't he recognize himself under thesecircumstances? Could he help? Was he being honest earlier - did he truly want to know this much?

Paradoxically, to a man who thought no piece of knowledge was useless, this was where he should've drawn the line. Would have otherwise reacting been selfless? Adar agonized, for he did not know. It was too late to turn back time, unlearn these words.

His clenched, strong jaw slowly unhinged, allowing itself rest from it's lawless tension. How could the navigator even reply? This was a world realms away from what he had ever known.

"I see." Nonchalance, as he gazed at the sea. Stuck in the hypnotic trance of loathing, yet simmered down from the beatdown that had seemed to last an eternity, Adar finally got himself to speak. "I appreciate… your open heart." These weren't his words, the young man was grasping for text, anything that would make him look less inadequate. "Is there anything… I can do... to aid you?"
(Adar Gutt)
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[01:57] Having a higher level of empathy, the Qilin knew almost immediately that her words stung. That somewhere, deep within her friend, it had resonated in mostly a negative way.

Despite this, she simply wanted to open up to him. To get the advice of a friend. Whether or not that was a mistake?

It was yet to be seen.

"I thank you for listening, first and foremost. I just want to say that I have no romantic feelings for him at all whatsoever. It simply started as a dare within a game, then escalated from there."

Love was a foreign concept, as was romance in general. It's why the prospect of such scared Setsuna, causing her to reach out to those that she felt were close.

Looking for something, anything, anyone that might have the answers to aid her conflicted heart.

"It was simply me learning, experiencing new things. I didn't want to lose the game we were playing, but it went on even after the game. I can't help but feel that it was all wrong. It's just that I'm not sure how to cope with it now, seeing that he won't simply go away."

"Do I pretend as if nothing happened? I don't want you to like me any less either, nor do I want this getting out to anyone else."

A sigh, followed by several shakes of her head.

"I'm sorry if my words hurt you, truly. I just didn't feel like I had anyone else to turn to with this. Sure, I have Tobias, but I don't think he would appreciate this line of conversation."
(Setsuna Ukitake)
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[02:19] "No. Don't apologize… I can't ignore this." Pretending as if this episode hadn't transpired would've severed the bond between the two, polarizing them greatly. Or at least that's what Adar guessed, still trying to grasp for words, unable to relate, awed by the tale in itself.

"I'll always listen." The navigator reassured - standing by her side motionlessly. The unnerving shaking of his hands behind the coat made the tension of the moment evident, it was a natural reflex to the young man. Impossible to avoid in certain situations, only to be concealed by the edges of his fine cape.

Adar's vulnerable psyche seemed to had dissolved in thin air, left to travel the cosmos, never to come back. The silhouette of his ego had been lost, swimming in the endless sea of purple. "Even if it hurts - even if I'm inadequate." Yet the one thing that managed to manage to piece himself back together was the sheer impulse of reaching out, understanding, trying his best to relate: His own drive to learn.

"Perhaps I'll never know what to say in these situations, there's no advice I can give. I know nothing about touch. I know nothing about flesh. Maybe I'll never figure some of these interactions out… Maybe I'll be racked by them over and over."

Finally, exhausted from swimming the length of the infinite pool of vacuum, Adar's palm reached to meet it's edge.

"But be sure, I'll always be here to listen."

Almost mindlessly, the navigator's cold, slim hand had clasped itself to the Qillin's, tightly pressing on it. Would this hurt the scholar? Wouldn't have he become weirded out? By now, it would've been impossible to make out, even for him.

"You reached out to try and understand me, I'll do the same, regardless of where my comfort zone is or isn't."
(Adar Gutt)
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[02:25] "Even if you don't have the advice Adar, you just being here and listening helps immensely. I wish to help you in similar fashion, should you ever be confused about something."

Setsuna's gaze remained firmly on his, as she took his hand into her own. She allowed silence to linger in the air, the only sound being that of the drums in the distance, mixed with the waves crashing against the shore.

It was a private moment, between the two alone. Just being around another person was enough to comfort the young Qilin.

"Just know that you aren't inadequate, Adar. Not at all. You're one of the best people I know, so don't say stuff like that. There's no reason for you to think you're inadequate."

She squeezed his hand, attempting to reassure him, before letting go of it altogether.

"I suppose that's enough revelation for tonight. You can think on it and we can talk about it another time, yes? I'd just prefer you not reveal it to anyone else."
(Setsuna Ukitake)
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[02:56] The headache had become drilling, yet it was not as unbearable as it had been minutes prior. Comfort had been found in feeling the presence of another living person for the first time. Not a single memory of joy in tactility was there to be found in the young scholar's recollections. Yet the Qillin's hand was there, even when words weren't.

This particular chain of thought caused a surge of images to return from his subconscious. Pieces of a puzzle. Or the solution to another, even. All of a sudden, he begun to question the origin of these, as well as whatever relation they may have had with his incontrollable Haphephobia.

"My parents…" Adar mouthed under his breath distractedly, before coming to and letting go of Setsuna's hand completely, dismissing whatever he had tried to say. "M-mn. My lips are sealed, Suna. Plus, it's not like I have anyone else I could tell these things, come on."

Flashing a serene smile, Adar turned on his heel to face the square, perhaps now looking more exhausted than ever.

"Perhaps we should head back now."
(Adar Gutt)
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[02:57] Adar Gutt says, "I'm glad you finally trust me, you know."
[03:00] His first words were not lost on her, but she didn't push for details. Not now, considering they had made significant progress in confiding in one another.

She merely tilted her head, mildly amused by his later comment.

"I do trust you, Adar. But I wonder, do you trust me?"

Her gaze shifted back to the tribes, before nodding. Preparing to go, should he not want to speak on anything more.
(Setsuna Ukitake)
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[03:01] Adar Gutt says, "With my life, silly."
[03:01] Setsuna Ukitake says, "I'm glad. You said that Tobi knows a lot about you. I'd like to know just as much, if not more. I'll ask pesky questions later."
[03:01] Adar Gutt says, "You may."
[03:01] Adar Gutt says, "It's only fair."