Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- (to the tune of Joy to the World)
- Joy to the world, my intern’s dead!
- I just caved in her head!
- She said she tell my wife
- So I ended her life
- And now she can’t tell a soul!
- And now she can’t tell a soul!
- Aaaaaaaaand now she can’t tell a soul!
- Joy to the world, my intern’s gone!
- Where did it go wrong?
- If went from hugs and kisses
- To “I’m gonna tell the Mrs.”
- And so the bitch had to die,
- And so the bitch had to die.
- And sooooooo the bitch she had to die.
- (to the tune of Jingle Bells)
- Bashing Lori’s head
- With a bust of Abe Lincoln.
- One swing and she’s dead.
- Smashed her skull right in.
- Head wound gushing blood
- On the office floor
- It’s messy but I don’t have to worry anymore, cuz
- Lori’s dead,
- Lori’s dead,
- She just had to go.
- She was gonna tell my wife, I couldn’t let her know, Ohh,
- Lori’s dead
- Fractured head
- Now she’ll never tell!
- I’ve kept my secret safe but now condemned myself to Hell!
- (to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree)
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- You truly are a Godsend.
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- You help me make a life end.
- I lift you up
- And bring you down
- Crashing upon
- Sweet Lori’s crown.
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- That head wound’s not too shoddy.
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- Oh, Lincoln Bust,
- Now to get rid of the body.
- (to the tune of Frosty the Snowman)
- Lori the Intern
- Was a hopeful, happy soul.
- With a pure, sweet smile
- And a button-nose,
- Politics was her life’s goal.
- Joe ran for Congress
- And he won re-election.
- A smart, young representative
- He was up to have some fun.
- There must have some magic there when Joe and Lori met.
- Because it didn’t take Joe long to make her pussy wet.
- So Joe and Lori started to have an affair.
- In closets for brooms,
- And in hotel rooms,
- Carried on without a care.
- First Lori loved it,
- Then she felt the awful guilt
- Her affair with Joe
- Threatened to blow
- Up the family he had built.
- So Lori told Joe to end it or she’d tell his wife.
- Joe picked up a bust of Lincoln and ended her life.
- With her head smashed in,
- Lori’s corpse fell to the floor.
- Her head gushing blood
- In a grisly flood
- Of stomach-churning gore.
- Now you’d think Joe was
- In a penitentiary,
- But instead Joe
- Has his own morning show
- On MSNBC.
- (to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas)
- Joe Scarborough killed an intern,
- Joe Scarborough killed an intern,
- Joe Scarborough killed an intern,
- In two thousand and one.
- Her name was Lori Klausutis,
- Her name was Lori Klausutis,
- Her name was Lori Klausutis,
- Died in two thousand-one.
- They had an affair, she said she would tell
- So Joe decided to kill her
- In two thousand and one.
- He picked up a bust of Lincoln,
- He picked up a bust of Lincoln,
- He picked up a bust of Lincoln,
- And he caved in her skull.
- So now there was a dead body,
- So now there was a dead body,
- So now there was a dead body,
- On Joe’s office floor
- He call in a friend
- Who was an M.E.
- Together they covered it up,
- The murder of Lori.
- Joe Scarborough killed an intern,
- Joe Scarborough killed an intern,
- Joe Scarborough killed an intern,
- In two thousand and one.
- (to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
- You know he’s got a show on MSNBC
- Mornings with co-host and wife Mika B.
- But do you remember,
- When Joe was a Congress member?
- Lori the fresh-faced Intern
- Was a very pretty girl
- Back when Joe was in Congress
- And looking for a cute side-ho.
- She was naïve and smitten
- With her handsome new boyfriend
- But Lori didn’t realize
- How the relationship would end.
- Then one balmy summer night,
- Lori heard Joe say:
- “I can’t let you tell my wife.”
- Then he snapped and took her life.
- Then Joe retired from Congress
- To “spend more time with family.”
- But we all know the reason
- Is cuz he murdered poor Lori.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement