a guest Apr 26th, 2019 61 Never
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- Ahhh. The letters are back.
- It’s the worst kept secret that I’m stressed, and scared, and sad, and overworked, and a whole mix of emotions that make for a rather miserable time, especially lately.
- And, so, I’m apologizing to you, for if I’ve just been... I don’t know? Distant? Moody? Short-tempered? Neglectful? Because, these days, it is really hard to see outside of the small, small window of clarity this fog allows. You mean the world to me, and I want to...
- I don’t know.
- I’m having a rough time. So much so that I have no idea how to extend my arms out to you and love you as deeply, as openly, as Lord knows I do. I keep running through a constant cycle of feeling like I’m failing you, and I’m just so tired. Because we’re so much more than this. But this has been my loop for weeks now.
- So this is, less letter and more invitation to talk.
- Because I have been reduced from anything dynamic and interesting and charming, to just the keeper of words I choke down. And if *I’m* struggling to talk, then I can only imagine it’s mutual.
- We’re not in good spots, and we’re not using each other for support. Out of fear of burdening the other? Maybe? I don’t know.
- I know you’re busy, and stressed, and we just... avoid each other until the absolute last moments of the day, but. Just.. I don’t know. Sit down with me sometime. Sometime soon? And just... let’s talk. I guess. And let’s unbox some really ugly feelings together, so that it doesn’t hurt us more than it has.
- I love you, I miss you, I miss us.
- Until we figure this out,
- Your sunflower
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