Ahhh. The letters are back.

It’s the worst kept secret that I’m stressed, and scared, and sad, and overworked, and a whole mix of emotions that make for a rather miserable time, especially lately.

And, so, I’m apologizing to you, for if I’ve just been... I don’t know? Distant? Moody? Short-tempered? Neglectful? Because, these days, it is really hard to see outside of the small, small window of clarity this fog allows. You mean the world to me, and I want to...

I don’t know.

I’m having a rough time. So much so that I have no idea how to extend my arms out to you and love you as deeply, as openly, as Lord knows I do.   I keep running through a constant cycle of feeling like I’m failing you, and I’m just so tired. Because we’re so much more than this. But this has been my loop for weeks now.

So this is, less letter and more invitation to talk.

Because I have been reduced from anything dynamic and interesting and charming, to just the keeper of words I choke down. And if *I’m* struggling to talk, then I can only imagine it’s mutual.

We’re not in good spots, and we’re not using each other for support. Out of fear of burdening the other? Maybe? I don’t know.

I know you’re busy, and stressed, and we just... avoid each other until the absolute last moments of the day, but. Just.. I don’t know. Sit down with me sometime. Sometime soon? And just... let’s talk. I guess. And let’s unbox some really ugly feelings together, so that it doesn’t hurt us more than it has.

I love you, I miss you, I miss us.

Until we figure this out,
Your sunflower