Why The Forum Is Still Down

Rincebrain the Server Monkey scratched his head. This code made no sense. It made even less sense than the rest of the code that made no sense.
He supposed there was nothing to do except ask his boss; not that it would actually give him any useful answers, but at least it would kill some time while the immensely convoluted program attempted to compile. He called up Hussie.
"Hello, this is the World's Greatest Webcomic Author speaking," said the voice on the other end. "How may I explain the sheer genius of Homestuck to you?"
"This isn't about Homestuck, Mr. Hussie..."
"You might think that, but in truth, everything is about Homestuck. It is the pinnacle of human achievement. All answers can be found within it, it is only a matter of knowing where to look."
Rincebrain sighed.
"No, Mr. Hussie, this is Rincebrain, your server monkey. I'm calling about the forum."
"Oh, right, the Homestuck Praise-Adornment and Brand-Supporting Mechanism. Have you fixed that bug I told you about the other day yet?"
"Mr. Hussie, I've told you before, the fact that there is content on your forum which is not related to Homestuck is not a software problem."
"That's a defeatist attitude. And I don't hire defeatists."
Rincebrain suppressed a groan. He was going to have to address Hussie on his own terms.
"What I mean, Mr. Hussie, is that as you yourself told me not two minutes ago, everything is about Homestuck. How can I remove non-Homestuck-related content when such a thing doesn't exist?"
There was a long pause. Rincebrain allowed himself a small smirk as he imagined Hussie trying to reconcile his own twisted logic.
"Good work, server monkey," Hussie finally said, as if he hadn't been silent for a good fifteen minutes. "You have solved my riddle and proven yourself worthy of continued employment. How goes the upgrade or whatever it is you're doing?"
"Ah, yes, that's why I called. I'm having trouble understanding the forum's code. I've done what I can, but I still don't know why exactly I need to direct this data packet to a planet that isn't even in our universe and may not actually exist."
"Alternia is an essential element of the forum software, just as it is an essential element of Homestuck. It makes no more sense to deprive them of involvement in our source code than it would for Homestuck to skip over Hivebent."
Rincebrain smiled, and tried his hardest not to chuckle.
"Thank you, Mr. Hussie. That explains everything."
"I am pleased to offer but a small sample of enlightenment. Consider it a benefit of your job. A far more valuable one than, say, a dental plan."
Rincebrain hung up, and went back into the code. He took another look at the data transfer protocol.
Then he deleted the whole thing.
"That should save a few months," he said to himself. "I just wish all my calls could be that productive."