DAiE Ch. 4 Prologue - The Proof

>You are Doctor Anonymous. You have fallen out of a window and built a death ray using only silverware and your own bioenergy.
>Actually, you're not particularly proud of those last two accomplishments.
>Is falling out of a window even an accomplishment?
>The death ray would have been pretty cool under different circumstances though?
>Where were you?
>Ah, right. And right now, you are feeling pretty content.
>You're in the royal carriage, flying back to Ponyville. You expected the awkwardness of this ride to be palpable, but instead Twilight and Fluttershy only show concern for your rustled jimmies and battered body.
>These ponies, man. You've never known creatures who care so much. You've only known them for a short time and already, you think...
>You think you really trust them.
>Well, most of them. A certain Princess still terrifies you.
>More than you can say for those of your own species.

>As you land, you thank the pegasi pulling it and say your farewells to Twilight and Fluttershy.
>The yellow pony insists that she help you get to your new home, but you say you're more than well enough to get there yourself. If you need help, you have Albert.
>She nods, almost looking a little bit disappointed by something, but flies off to her home. Twilight wishes you well and heads home herself.
>As the carriage takes off, you look to Albert, who has been silent the whole time.
"Albert."
>"You're mad."
"I'm not mad."
>"I have a constant biometric reading on you, Doctor. You're mad."
"Shut that off for a second, Albert."
>He silently complies. Smiling, you bring your face down to his.
"Of all the things to tell Celestia. You had to-"
>The tiny android clenches his optics shut. "It got her off your back, didn't it?! You said you weren't mad!"
>You chuckle.
"That's exactly -why- I'm not mad, Albert. I -should- be mad, but you really saved my ass back there."
>Albert opens his optics slightly, the dim blue light emanating from them looking up at you in a puzzled expression.
>"...even when I can calculate what you're thinking, I still don't understand you, Doctor."
"Join the club."

>You start off to where your new home should be. You've still got a bit of limp, but it doesn't take you long before you arrive at the modest building.
>It's a bit of a hassle getting in. The door was clearly made for ponies and not a creature of your stature.
>You produce the key you were given before leaving Canterlot, and unlock the door.
>The inside is dark. All the windows are closed by curtains, and no lights are on.
>It takes a moment of fumbling, before you find the switch.
>Click.
>It's a cozy enough place. Some simple furniture, modestly decorated. Full of ponies.
>Full of ponies?
>A familiar pink mare pops up.
>"SURPRISE!"
>oh dear Tesla it's happening again

>IT KEEPS. HAPPENING.
"Pikamina."
>You almost growl at the pony through your teeth. She just smiles up at you.
>"Hi again, Doc! I heard you were getting a new home in Ponyville, so I was like," she jumps into the air, hanging suspended in a drawn out gasp before falling back to the floor, "and then I ran off because I just knew I had to throw you a HOUSEWARMING PARTY!"
>To punctuate her explanation, she threw a hand- er, hoof-full of confetti into the air.
"Pinkamina."
>"Anonymous."
"Pinkamina"
>"Anonymous."
>You give her your sternest gaze.
>She gives you her cutest smile.
>Gaze.
>Smile.
>Gaze.
>...
>You cannot say no to this mare. You are completely under her spell.
>Damn it, damn it, damn it.

"Ffffffffffine."
>She beams up at you, before grabbing onto your hand with a hoof. How the hell does she do that with hooves?
>Her grip suddenly reminds you that your hands are covered in horrible burns.
>The pained squeak you let out involuntarily sends the mare stumbling forward instead of pulling you into the party like she intended.
>She stands up. Around you, the party is already raging, but she just stares up at you. "Doc, you're... you're hurt."
>You bite your lip. Do not be sad, little pony. Please do not be sad.
>Oh shit she's sad.
"It's... it's alright, Pinkamina. Just... give me a little while to recuperate. You keep on partying, I'll go to my room and rest for a while, and I'll join the party later, alright?"
>She gives you a weak smile. It's obvious she'd prefer if you could enjoy yourself to the fullest, but she nods and goes to mingle.
>You hobble your way into your new room. It's similarly plain, but cozy.
>And now? Now you break out the books.

>Books on magical theory. Enough of them to keep you occupied for quite a while.
>You borrowed them from the Canterlot Archives. If you're to understand this place, much less get home, you need to understand magic.
>After all, it appears to be one of the prime driving forces of this universe. A force of nature.
>And nature? Nature you can understand. Nature you can control.
>It just takes time and careful observation.
>It takes Science.

>You are Pinkamina Diane Pie, but you prefer Pinkie Pie.
>And right now, you are getting a little worried.
>It's been hours and hours since the Doc said he'd go rest.
>A lot of the partygoers have already said their farewells and left for home.
>Maybe he fell asleep.
>But what if he didn't?
>What if he's still hurting?
>What if something happened and he's hurt himself even more!?
>Applejack shakes you out of your thoughts. "Sugarcube? What's got you down? I ain't never seen you so glum at a party before."
"Oh, sorry Applejack! I'm just, uh... I'll be right back, kay?"
>You don't wait for her response. You're gonna check on Anon.
>You open the door, and gasp at what you see.

"This... this isn't resting at all!"
>Anonymous looks over his shoulder at you. "Oh, hello, Pinkamina! Come in, come in! I'm on the edge of a breakthrough!"
"Anon, you were supposed to be resting! How are you supposed to feel up to your party if you're busy doing... what ARE you doing?"
>He sweeps his labcoat dramatically, revealing the massive blackboard behind him. When did that get here?
>"I'm doing SCIENCE!"
>"Magical science to be precise. I picked up some books from the Canterlot Archives, and using them of reference material I've been proving (to myself) how it works. It's fascinating."
>You watch him silently as he talks, still writing feverishly on the chalkboard.
"Uhm, Anon?"
>"Hush, Pinkamina. I'm so close! Just a few more variables...
>He flips through one of the pile of books strewn across his desk, laughing as he points enthusiastically to something in the text.
"But-"
>"HUSH!"

>Next, Twilight walks in. "What's going on in-"
>"HUSH!"
"The Doc is doing magical science."
>"I see that. Does he know he's-"
"Quiet! I need quiet!"
>You struggle to contain your snickering.
>Albert hovers in next, wondering aloud where the Doctor is before he too is shooshed.
>Rarity follows suit, along with Fluttershy, Rainbow and Applejack. You all watch as he works. You barely even notice that he's started to explain himself.
>"...and so you can see, if the square root of Starbreard's Constant IS in fact 6.31-X, then..."
>He drags the chalk triumphantly across in one line, then the other. An equality sign.
>"Then FRIENDSHIP=MAGIC!"
>The entire room is silent.
>You're the first one to burst out into laughter.

>He looks crushed.
>"Wh-.. why are you laughing, Pinkamina?"
>You can't answer. Thankfully, Twilight does for you.
>"Uhm... that's one of the cornerstones of magical theory, Anonymous. I mean, good job at proving it yourself! But... that's the first thing we learn in Magic Kindergarten."
>Anonymous' jaw hangs open, and you can only laugh harder.
>Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes, and flies out, muttering about 'crazy eggheads'. She drags Applejack with her.
>The Doctor flips through his book to the first chapter, his jaw never closing. "...rd's Constant, Friendship=Magic."
>He stares at the text for minutes, processing the situation. Finally, you stop laughing and stand up, trotting over to him and tugging the end of his labcoat.
"Are you ready to party yet, Doc?"
>He takes a second to answer.
>"...did you bring those cupcakes of yours?"
>You nod.
"Saved one for you."
>"...yeah, fuck this. Let's party."