Listen to Smarty 16

>You are Coffee, a fluffy babbeh
>You live with your Momma and Dadda and your sister under the bush with a bunch of other fluffies; Dadda says they're all part of the herd, which is like family, but not everyone has the same momma
>At the moment you are getting milkies from your Momma, trying to be as gentle as possible; Momma doesn't like it if you're too rough, she once kicked you and Pumpkin off when you tried fighting over the same milk spot
>The kick hurt, but being rejected by Momma hurt a lot more; you and Pumpkin and Momma all cried until Dadda came and made everything better: he told you and Pumpkin that Momma had inside-owwies that gave her big owwies when fluffies played too rough or gave her huggies
>The idea that huggies can't fix Momma's owwies doesn't seem right, but Dadda's the smartest fluffy you know and playing rough with Momma makes her very sad, so you don't try to hug her
>You keep sucking up milk until you feel full in your tummy and then move away from Momma, who groans a little
>It makes you sad that Momma never wants to hug or play: all the other babbeh's mommas play with them, hugging and grooming and letting them sleep in their soft fluff; the only time the other mommas' won't play with their babbehs is when they've been bad fluffies, like when Giggle took your rock ball and wouldn't share it with anyone else
>The thought of playing makes you think of your sister, Pumpkin; you look around and see her moping as she hugs one of Momma's front legs, which you know she shouldn't be doing
>Pumpkin's a strange babbeh who only has three legs, which makes her very sad when someone reminds her of it: she can't walk very well, so she mostly just lays near Momma and tries to hug her, even though Dadda and Greenie have repeatedly told her not to
>You try to play with Pumpkin whenever you can, though she can't play as many games as the other foals due to her missing leg; you hope one day her leggie comes back so she can play all the fun games she's missing out on: tag is so much more fun then hide-and-seek
>You look around for Dadda, thinking maybe he can play with you and Pumpkin
>You catch a glimpse of Dadda near the edge of the bush, yelling at some other fluffies; Dadda's been yelling at a lot of fluffies this bright time, they keep trying to leave the bush and dry their fluff under the glowy sky ball, but Dadda says its not safe
>The other fluffies slink off back towards the rest of the herd; Dadda turns back towards the outside, staring at something outside the bush
>You turn back and start waddling towards Pumpkin
>Dadda's too busy to play right now
---
>You are a man named Kenny
>You are an exterminator, currently driving to a job to remove a fluffy pony infestation
>And you're not happy
"It's a one-man job!"
>Your "partner" sitting next to you, a large man named Lee, rolls his eyes
"Yell at Chuck, not me."
"I know, I know. Passive-aggressive motherfucker."
>Lee shrugs
"He's still pissed off that you wiped out the Manassas herd."
"Well excuse me for having some goddamn principles."
>You grumble: due to Chuck being a money-grubbing asshole, your company's exterminators are supposed to offer fluffies a chance to leave peacefully before gassing the fuckers, on the off shane the herd will move somewhere else and get you another job to remove them
>The Manassas herd was your company's cash cow: a large, nonaggressive herd that migrated through an area full of gated communities and golf courses; because of the short life span of the average fluffy and their slow movement, the herd migration was timed to show up around the time your repellents would wear off, leaving your customers to think a new herd had just moved in
>Gassing those bastards was one of the proudest days of your life
>Pull up to the address, damn this place is big; you and Lee walk up to the door and ring the doorbell
>A surprisingly hot woman answers the door, kind you'd put the moves on if you met in a bar; shame you had to meet her on the job, turns out "I kill rats and fluffies for a living" is a huge turn off for most women
>Lee puts on his best salesman smile
"Hi, We're with Vermin Supreme Pest Control. We got a call about a fluffy infestation?"
"Yeah, thanks for coming so quickly. I noticed a bunch of fluffies in my bushes over there, I think a herd's moved in."
>You glance over towards the bushes: there's definitely something moving in there, and you can see some awfully vibrant colors behind the green leaves
>You can understand the woman's concern: if a herd's moved in, it's only a matter of time before they start stripping the bushes and leaving their rancid feces all over, a real nightmare for someone owning a house as nice as this one
"Alright, well we'll drive 'em out of there and spray some fluffy repellent to keep it from happening again. You mind if we check around your house, make sure they haven't set up any other dens?"
"No that's fine. I've got a fluffy though, is the repellent going to cause her any problems?"
>Try and keep yourself from sighing: you still don't get why anyone would actually want to own one of those shit machines
>Lee ignores your exasperation
"Nah, fluffies just think it smells really bad. If anything, it'll just make her want to stay closer to the house. I would recommend you keep her away from any windows while we're removing the herd, though."
"Oh, is it going to be that bloody?"
>Lee sheepishly rubs the back of his neck
"Well, we try to get the herd to leave peacefully and keep 'em away with the spray but… if the Smarty of the herd is aggressive-"
>You chime in
"Like they all are."
"-Like MOST are, it can make the herd overly stubborn and may require us to gas 'em all, which most fluffy owners find a little difficult to explain to their pets."
>The woman nods
"Well, I'll get Barbie locked up in her safe room and let you boys get to it, then."
>You and Lee head back to the van, you start pulling out the spraying equipment while Lee lets Clementine out of her crate in the back
"Who's a good girl? Whosagoodgirl?!"
>You shake your head as the large man excitedly talks like an idiot to the large black labrador; you don't really get the appeal of owning a dog, especially since most of Lee's paycheck seems to go into taking care of the damn thing
>After apparently being reassured that Clem's a good dog, Lee looks up at you
"Alright, you wanna look around for other hiding spots while Clem and I round the ones under the bushes?"
"Dude, I'm telling you, I don't need any help-"
"Look, I don't want Chuck bitching at me about not keeping you under control or whatever I'm supposed to be doing, so could you just-"
>You hear a ring tone start playing; Lee pulls out his phone and gets an annoyed look on his face
"Ah shit, it's my wife. I gotta take this, can you just round up the fluffies Clem chases out?"
"Whatever."
>Lee points a finger over at the offending bushes and lets Clementine off her leash
"Go get 'em, girl!"
---
>You are Coffee again
>Be in one of the most intense games of hide-and-seek of your short life
>Pumpkin's found you several times already, but you're confident that this time you'll leave her stumped: she'll never think to look behind BOTH your hooves!
"Foun' yuu!"
>Darn it
>You uncover your face and are greeted by Pumpkin's smiling face; the two of you giggle uncontrollably and hug
"AWW FWUFFIES WISSEN TU SMAWTY!"
>You look up from your hug and see Daddeh yelling at the rest of the herd; he looks angry, which is normal, but he also looks scared
"Munsta comin'! Swugga, Bawney, an' Cindew, take mawes an' babbehs an' wun! Aww odda tuffies, fowwow Smawty!"
>Pumpkin hugs you tighter out of fear, though you're not sure if she's scared more of monsters or Dadda's yelling
>The rest of the herd starts babbling confusedly, probably just as confused as you are about what's happening; Dadda's face looks angrier then you've ever seen, his cheeks puffed and wings spread as far as they can
"NOW!!!"
>You and Pumpkin chirp in surprise as you feel something lift you off the ground; as it places you on its back, you realize it's Momma's friend Greenie, who begins running towards the end of the bush away from Dadda
>Holding on tightly to Greenie's fluff, you look around for your Momma and Dadda, not wanting to be separated; you see Cinder and Barney struggling to pick your Momma up as other fluffies race past them
>Dadda, on the other hand, is running in the opposite direction, followed by most of the stallions
>You try to call out to Dadda, let him know he's going the wrong way, but the only thing that comes out is frightened cheeps
---
>You are Kenny again
>Watch as the small herd of fluffies charges Clem; you know these things are retarded, but this is just ridiculous: what exactly to do they think they can do to a creature over twice as tall and five times heavier than themselves?
>Clem's having the time of her goddamn life, though: the big, friendly dog barrels through the charge and begins eagerly playing with her new "friends", ignoring their attempts to bite or crap on her as she bowls them over with her wagging tail and eagerly licking any fluff foolish enough to get close to her
>Frankly you wish Lee would train her to just eat the damn things, but he just keeps on with the "non-lethal" crap
>You leave Clem to her work, seems these ferals are too stupid to realize they're not doing jack shit against her, and start looking around for any stragglers
>As you circle around the bushes, you luck out: a group of fluffies, including a few obviously pregnant dams, are running as fast as they can away from the property
>You give chase, lightly jogging after the herd: feral fluffies may be faster then domestics, but in a wide open area such as this, catching them is still a breeze
>The fluffies seem to notice your pursuit and try to speed up, starting to leave the ones pushing the bloated dams behind; you break out into a run and circle in front of the herd, causing them to come to a grinding halt
>The fluffies look frightened, though thankfully they're still silent; a yellow and dull red earth fluffy emerges from the pack, its cheeks puffed in the way that you've come to associate with the suicidal nature of a Smarty Friend
"Dummy hooman gu way ow Cindew gif sowwy poopies!"
>You roll your eyes as you unhook your can of pepper spray from your belt: you don't know what it is about fluffies, but once one of them gets to the top of their pitifully weak pecking order, suddenly they think they can take on the whole goddamn world
"Yeah, you do that chief."
>The Smarty turns around and lifts his tail, ready to make do on his promise; a quick blast of pepper spray causes him to shriek in pain and begin running around, wiggling his ass in the air as he screams
>You lift your boot high and bring it down hard on the yellow fluffy, smashing his head with a sickening crunch
>Fucking Smarties, probably ordered those retards to attack Clementine and then ran with mares to save his own goddamn hide
>A little red unicorn with a green mane runs out of the terrified herd and begins hugging the Smarty's remains, wailing for her lost "special friend"
>You reunite the dead lovers with another stomp of your boot: a Smarty's special friend is almost as bad as a Smarty; probably should wipe out the herd just to make sure none of their descendants survive to start up this bullshit again
"Hnngghh!"
>The hell is that?
>You turn your head to the source of the noise and see one of the dams, a pink and magenta unicorn; she's looking pretty scared and getting… bigger?
>Oh shit, is she-
---
>You are Coffee once more
>And you are very scared
>You don't understand what's happening: the herd was running from the bush, the only home you've ever known, only to be stopped by… something
>You've never seen anything like it: so much taller than a fluffy, but its fluff is strange; there are many different colors on its body, but its head only has a small amount on top of its head and a bit under its nose
>Looking into its small, piercing eyes fills you with terror, but at the same time you feel an urge to hug this… thing
>Greenie tries to hide you from the creature, quickly moving you both underneath her belly and hugging you tightly as if to keep it from snatching the two of you away
>You can barely understand her whimpering, but there is one word that she is clearly repeating
>Hooman
>The word is strange; you've never heard it before, but it makes you feel happy: like when you sleep in Dadda's fluff at night, or when you hug your sister
>You hear a muffled crunch followed by screams; Greenie hugs you tighter, making it hard to breathe
>You don't know what a hooman is, but you wish it would make the munsta go away; you hear Pumpkin sobbing, but you can't move to give her huggies
>Another crunch and more screams; you silently beg Dadda to come save you
"Hnngghh!"
>A strange new sound pierces through fluff surrounding you, it sounds like a fluffy in pain; Greenie's embrace loosens as she lifts her head, letting you see out into the outside world once more
>Princess, the mean fluffy mumma that always yells, is currently wailing through clenched teeth with a frightened look on her face, her short, stubby legs grasping her belly as her body begins to swell bigger and bigger
>The herd begins backing away, completely ignoring the munsta as they stare at the ballooning dam with looks of terror; Greenie begins shouting hysterically at Princess, yelling about how everything is alright and how she shouldn't be scared
>And then Princess explodes
>You scream
---
>You are Kenny once more
>Well that was interesting, you haven't seen a fluffsplosion in years
>Nothing remains of the damn but three tiny foals and a few remnants of pink fluff; a small green earth fluffy runs over and quickly starts hugging the wailing foals, ignoring the two foals she'd been trying to hid from you moments before
>Dumbass
>The herd's devolved into utter chaos and are all but ignoring you: half the fluffies are running in circles, screaming their heads off, while the other half are curled in fetal positions and crying; a large pink and brown earth fluffy is tightly hugging a yellow and blue dam, no doubt terrified that the soon-to-be mother will share the same fate
"Hey Kenny, I've got the- what the hell?"
>You look up and see Lee walking over, holding Clem by her leash; he's herding the fluffies that were attacking his dog in front, the stallions looking very cowed and messy but no worse for wear
>The stallions break into a run when they see the traumatized remains of the rest of their herd, trying to get back to their "special friends" and make sure their safe; you notice an orange and grey pegasus standing next to Lee, ignoring the rest of his herd as he stares at you
>Lee looks down at your boots and lets out a sigh
"Kenny, what happened?"
>You shrug your shoulders
"Smarty acted like an asshole, had to put him and his old lady down. One of the dams freaked,  fluffsploded before I could do anything."
>Lee looks at you suspiciously for a moment, but just shakes his head; the orange pegasus' eyes grow wide and turns its gaze at the herd
"Whatever. Go check the around the house for any stragglers, I'll deal with the herd."
>Grumble to yourself as Lee gathers up the herd and explains their options: leave or die; the remaining herd seems quite eager to leave, thanks to the example you set
>As you walk back towards the house, you feel something latch on to your leg; you look down to see a blue and white unicorn hugging your shin, almost purring as he rubs himself against your leg
>A quick blast of pepper spray to the face loosens his grip; you watch him wail in agony as he runs back to the rest of his herd
>Fucking fluffy ponies
---
>You are Raindrop, an ex-Smarty Friend
>And you are furious
>Your eyes still hurt from the hooman's owwie mist and you can barely see, but you do your best to glare at the orange blob you think is Dummy Listen; Moss tries to lick your eyes clean again, only to yelp and run her tongue along the grass once more
>The small part of you not seething with hate feels bad for Moss, she wants to get rid of your eye owwies so badly, but she keeps forgetting that licking them only gives her tongue owwies
>At first you didn't understand why the hoomans hurt you; didn't they know how hard you've been trying to stay clean? the lengths you've gone to to stay good?
>It terrified and confused you, but you are a smart fluffy, you figured why they were so meanie to you
>It's all Dummy Listen's fault
>Dummy Listen told lies about hoomans not wanting fluffies, Dummy Listen took your herd away from the city, Dummy Listen took you away from the forest hoomans
>Dummy Listen is a bad fluffy
>It's because of him that the rest of your herd is so dirty and bad! it's because of him that the hoomans had to give Cinder and Holiday biggest owwies!
>It's his fault that Princess' babies took big sleepies
>Dummy Listen is the worst fluffy
>But you've been too scaredy to do anything: you've let him hurt your herd, let him take you away from hoomans and safety while you've sat back and hoped that he'd get owwies
>That's why the hoomans gave you owwies, because you haven't stopped Dummy Listen from hurting your herd, all because you're too scaredy to do what's necessary
>You grind your teeth and force your eyes open, ignoring the stinging pain and constant tears as you focus all your rage on fuzzy orange form of your enemy
>No more waiting
>By next bright time, you will be Smarty again