Spaghetti_Land

Fall of Cleveland 21 - Internal Affairs

Jan 19th, 2014
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  1. http://www.fluffybooru.org/post/view/1308
  2.  
  3. Written by philsrobeighn
  4.  
  5. Internal Affairs
  6. >Be a go-getter intern at the Cleveland City Hall
  7. >Currently working with the Board of Multispecies Tourism
  8. >You admire their concept: targeting the new sapient species of the planet
  9. >Fluffy ponies are as targetable as children in marketing
  10. >Now owners will pay to go to Spaghetti Land with their fluffies
  11. >Just like parents pay for Disney World
  12. >Just so the whining stops
  13. >You’ve already seen it in a couple of friends
  14. >Had a get together at a house of a fluffy owner
  15. >Another of your friends brought their fluffy to keep the owner’s fluffy company
  16. >They don’t seem to mind the “enf enf enf” coming from the living room
  17. >Even though both their fluffies are stallions
  18. >Probably don’t understand because they’ve never had the stallions around mares
  19. >Well, as long as there are no complaints about hurt poopie-places
  20. >Today, the near constant sound of “enf enf enf” stops for once
  21. >You recognize the Spaghetti Land commercial
  22. >Voice-over is a Patrick Stewart sound-alike you personally found
  23. >Got a “Good job, intern” from your boss
  24. >Suddenly, the two stallions come busting in
  25. >”Daddy, Daddy, magic box show mountain of skettis!”
  26. >”Big sketti pawk! Fun wides fow fwuffies!”
  27. >”Pwease take fwuffy?”
  28. >”Pweeeeeeeeeease?”
  29. >The houseguest is a little strict with his
  30. >”Stop that noise! You won’t get anything from me that way!”
  31. >Swats fluffy on the nose with a rolled-up paper
  32. >”Owchies! Sowwy daddy! No huwty! Fwuffy be good!”
  33. >”Good. Because I already bought our ticket.”
  34. >Fluffy pony perks up. “Weawwy?”
  35. >”Yeah, little shit, so start behaving or else I’ll hawk them out.”
  36. >It’s an interesting love-abuse relationship
  37. >You know in the end he loves his fluffy
  38. >He just tries to put on a good show in front of your other friend
  39. >Other friend is such a pushover that pushovers take advantage of him
  40. >Other fluffy comes up to his owner and says “Fwiend get go! Fwuffy go too?”
  41. >”Of course! Our friend Greg here works for Spaghetti Land. Sold us on the idea.”
  42. >Boss forced you to buy some tickets and sell them to friends
  43. >Part of a grassroots build-up of opening day success to fuel positive media
  44. >More like Astroturf roots if you say so yourself
  45. >”Yay! Daddy bess daddy!”
  46. >”You’d better be good too, or else I’ll get rid of them just like our friend.”
  47. >”Fwuffy be vewwy good! Fwuffy wuv Daddy, take fwuffy to Sketti Wan!”
  48. >So your friends have bought weeks of good behavior and hugs
  49. >Not the best use of the $109 owner and fluffy combo ticket fee you can think of
  50. >But it will make the city cash hoof over fist
  51. >And that might translate into a paid position for you
  52. >So you work your hardest to promote the success of Spaghetti Land
  53. >And tonight is no exception
  54. >Been pouring over the fireworks budget
  55. >Plan on introducing the fireworks show after a week or so
  56. >Sure, the park opens tomorrow*
  57. >First week is more like a public beta test
  58. >So you are making sure that you show the best profit
  59. >A mix of balancing and book-cooking that makes you the best
  60. >But still, there is something that troubles you
  61. >You used to volunteer for your suburban hometown’s annual city fair
  62. >You know how much a good fireworks show costs
  63. >And this is supposed to be theme-park quality
  64. >Yet somehow your budget is running under that of a town of 30,000
  65. >Gotta check that
  66. >Even if it means a bit more money, the first firework show has to be a blast
  67. >Pull up the receipts
  68. >Look at the received amounts
  69. >The amounts set aside for the fireworks weekend is 70,000
  70. >That will set a world record!
  71. >How could it be so cheap?
  72. >Check the type of fireworks
  73. >There are names you’ve never heard of to describe fireworks
  74. >It seems most of this is sorted by weight
  75. >Check the manufacturers
  76. >Nothing sounds like a fireworks manufacturer
  77. >If it is in English, it’s labeled as “munitions” or “military surplus”
  78. >And most of it isn’t in English anyway
  79. >How the heck did this happen?
  80. >Note that all the receipts are signed for by one of the council members
  81. >One of the park’s biggest advocates
  82. >Go to his office
  83. >”Hey Greg, what’s up?”
  84. >”Sir, there seems to be a discrepancy in the fireworks purchasing”
  85. >”A ‘discrepancy?’ Whatever do you mean?”
  86. >”There don’t appear to be fireworks in the order
  87. >I’ve worked with fireworks before, and I don’t think these are fireworks
  88. >I think you’ve signed for a load of just cheap, dangerous explosives”
  89. >”Huh, let me see this”
  90. >He comes up around you and looks at the receipts
  91. >”So you’ve worked with fireworks?”
  92. >”Yes, sir.”
  93. >”Can you answer a question about something, then?”
  94. >”Sure, sir.”
  95. >”Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
  96. >”I don’t see what that has to do with firewo-”
  97. >Be very dizzy
  98. >Wake up later in a dark place
  99. >Recognize the markings on the wall as you come to
  100. >This is a storage area in the utilidors below Spaghetti Land
  101. >You are surrounded by explosives
  102. >You try to move, but you are chained to a pillar
  103. >You try to yell, but you are gagged
  104. >Nevertheless, you are heard
  105. >”Well, good morning Greg!
  106. >And I use that term lightly, as it is late at night
  107. >Don’t bother yelling, I assure you we are far enough away from the main paths
  108. >And this area is marked for a security clearance that doesn’t really exist anyway
  109. >I made sure this area was set aside in Spaghetti Land for this purpose
  110. >You see, Spaghetti Land combines my two great loves
  111. >Sweet, sweet money
  112. >And destroying those who love fluffy ponies
  113. >You see, these fluffy abominations were designed to be like they are by men
  114. >They were to be pets, pets to be taken care of
  115. >Pets whose care would make a profit for their creators
  116. >So one cannot blame them for their disgusting behavior
  117. >No, the problem isn’t the fluffies
  118. >It’s the goddamn faggots that love them so much
  119. >That’s why these things are bred to the point of mass overpopulation
  120. >That’s why the useless ones weren’t killed, but just left to become feral
  121. >And it’s these faggots that I am going to kill off in a 'tragic fireworks accident'
  122. >And then I will have a city free of those who would suffer the fluffies to live
  123. >Not to mention millions off of ticket fees and billions off of insurance
  124. >We’ll finally be able to make your position paid and permanent!
  125. >Not that you’ll be around to enjoy that
  126. >I’ll be sure you get a Citizen’s Award from the City Council though
  127. >For bravely staying with the city’s project to your end
  128. >Of course, there will be press conferences that night
  129. >So I will have to make sure that my colleagues on the council are all here
  130. >Leaving me as the sole legal recipient of all that money"
  131. >With that he cackles and walks away
  132. >You manage to get the gag out of your mouth
  133. >”Does your mother know you’re so evil?” is the best quip you can manage
  134. >”Oh, sonny boy, mama knows, but she don’t care.”
  135. >He then breaks your jaw with a violent blow
  136. >Then reattaches the gag
  137. >No chance you’ll be heard now
  138. >You try to get out of the chains
  139. >"Oh, and sonny, don't rock around too much there.
  140. >I may not have time to get back here for the ceremonies
  141. >So I am arming these explosives, so wiggling around may not be a good option"
  142. >No hope now
  143. >If you don't starve to death down here first
  144. >You will be blown to bits with the crowd
  145. >As the bastard that was your boss exits
  146. >You accept your fate
  147. >You fall down and try to make peace
  148. >It’s hard to meditate with such a pervasive smell of fluffy shit in the air
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