avery> hi, just checking in to see how youre doing
01:04 <waybeforenow> thanks for talking to me today
01:04 <waybeforenow> processing this helps
01:05 <waybeforenow> im just cleaning the clothes off the floor my new room
01:11 <avery> :)
01:11 <avery> ahh, better get it nice and clean, tabula rasa
01:15 <waybeforenow> i still have a lot of her clothes..
01:17 <waybeforenow> just gonna keep them around in case :x
01:17 <waybeforenow> theres a lot
01:18 <avery> ahh
01:18 <avery> is she unable to look after them?
01:18 <waybeforenow> im unable to contact her to give them back
01:18 <avery> im sorry thats a tough reminder
01:19 <avery> pack them up so theyre ready for shipping, contact a mutual friend to ask if they can be shipped to her
01:19 <avery> pay the friend to send it to her so its not from you
01:20 <avery> i would want to forget about that stuff right away :/
01:20 <avery> idk how you feel about it but it sounds scary
01:21 — waybeforenow folding
01:21 <avery> ><;;
01:21 <waybeforenow> ill think about it but i think i can keep them around for now
01:21 <avery> ok, as long as it wont cause any issues
01:22 <avery> i just sounds kinda powder keggy from my perspective, sorry for being overbearing
02:40 <waybeforenow> okay.. i have a therapist appointment for tomorrow (hopefully)
03:56 <avery> oh wow
03:56 <avery> that was fast @_@
03:56 <avery> im glad to hear that
03:57 <avery> any specific kind of therapy or therapist?
12:39 <waybeforenow> it says
12:39 <waybeforenow> mindfulness based CBT
12:39 <waybeforenow> meditation/stress management training
12:46 <avery> *nods*
12:46 <avery> hope theyre nice
12:46 <avery> best of luck
13:09 <waybeforenow> thanks
13:09 <waybeforenow> just contacted a clinic about laser x_x
14:36 <avery> oh awesome :o
19:34 <waybeforenow> well
19:34 <waybeforenow> lol you said "that was fast" but it took them a week to schedule me and it was agonizing lol
19:34 <waybeforenow> i guess a weeks not so bad
20:04 <waybeforenow> sigh... therapist told me not to beat myself up over it
Wednesday, January 17th, 2018

18:44 <waybeforenow> still thinking over whether i should send her money
18:44 <waybeforenow> having a mini crisis about this tbh
19:16 <avery> you should bring it up at therapy, it seems like a no-brainer from my perspective
19:16 <avery> very obvious wealth imbalance, she's fucked because of it, you're not
19:17 <avery> thats how you framed it at least, i dont want to presume any extra facts
19:22 <waybeforenow> i didnt bring it up >_<
19:38 <avery> eh first appt
19:38 <avery> orienting
19:38 <avery> orienteering?
19:38 <avery> orientating.
19:38 <avery> occidentating.
19:38 <avery> god english is a bad language lol
19:39 <waybeforenow> yea
19:39 <waybeforenow> she just tweeted that i should be paying her therapy bills
19:39 <avery> ahh
19:39 <avery> do it
19:39 <avery> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04hHIezRMPk
19:39 <waybeforenow> ugh i did
19:39 <avery> (prob racist autoplays after that, sorry)
19:40 <waybeforenow> wow i feel sick
19:40 <avery> :/
19:40 <waybeforenow> ok im glad that i got all the work i needed to get done donebefore i did that just now
19:40 <avery> you did the right thing
19:40 <avery> maybe take a lie down or something?
19:40 <waybeforenow> ugh, yaeh
19:40 <waybeforenow> will do
19:40 <avery> feel better ><
19:45 <waybeforenow> yikes I feel
19:45 <waybeforenow> I feel good
19:45 <waybeforenow> I shouldn’t feel good
19:45 <avery> i would if i were you
19:45 <avery> making atonement is a good thing
19:45 <waybeforenow> I feel hella good wtf
19:46 <avery> atoned for your sins, so to speak
19:46 <avery> weight off your shoulders
19:46 <avery> dont feel guilty you need relief from all this too
19:46 <waybeforenow> It just makes me so happy to think she doesn’t have to bust her ass to get therapy anymore
19:46 <avery> :)
19:46 <avery> me too
19:46 <waybeforenow> Christ
19:46 <avery> whatever emotion mae her tweet that is probably gone now - or not directed at you, at least
19:48 <waybeforenow> i sent her 3k and will probably send her more in a few months unless i feel different
19:49 <waybeforenow> idk if that’s a lot money is weird
19:49 <waybeforenow> its 5% of my overall wealth
19:49 <avery> *nods*
19:50 <avery> depends how much youre making i guess compared to her
19:50 <avery> i assume youll recoup that before her, so its fine
19:50 <avery> and it likely wont effect you unless you spend over 95% of your wealth in the interim
19:51 <avery> investments notwithstanding i guess, i dont rly know much about that stuff
20:00 <waybeforenow> okay why do i keep waiting for her to reach out to me or acknowledge it even though i know its not going to happen
20:06 <avery> ah
20:06 <avery> you dont wanna know the answer lol
20:06 <avery> its because you feel you spent money i think :x
20:06 <avery> she doesnt owe you anything tho, so she shouldnt be expected to do that
20:06 <avery> need to look at it through a feminist lens i think
20:07 <avery> and maybe a few other ones but
20:07 <avery> its a normal base instinct, its fine
20:07 <avery> reciprocation memes
20:14 <waybeforenow> lol
20:14 <waybeforenow> feminist lens lol
20:14 <waybeforenow> no its because that basically the #1 thing i want is to be able to talk to her rn
20:14 <avery> oh
20:14 <avery> sorry :x
20:14 <avery> right
20:14 <waybeforenow> i thought you were being cheeky when you said feminist lens
20:14 <avery> yeah dont need any lens to see that
20:14 <waybeforenow> i might have been misreading
20:14 <avery> lol
20:15 <avery> not cheeky just
20:15 <waybeforenow> well i dont feel like i "spent" any money
20:15 <avery> implying its complicated
20:15 <waybeforenow> asdkjhakjsdhaskjdh
20:15 <avery> ahh, thats good
20:15 <waybeforenow> yeah its fine just hope she drops me a message or smth tonight
20:15 <waybeforenow> i feel like she might if shes not brainsad
20:16 <avery> yeah its possible i think?
20:17 <avery> and the feminist lens thing just refers to any femme person who is out of a relationship, poor etc i think is what iwas getting at
20:17 <avery> was thinkin about what you said about power and such
Thursday, January 18th, 2018

01:06 <waybeforenow> sorry, i didnt mean to make you feel shitty for giving me advice
01:06 <waybeforenow> thank you for talking to me about this so consistently
01:06 <waybeforenow> i feel that i really trust your opinions