My name is Aria.

That was the name given to me by my creators. For I am an Einzbern Homunculi. My name was the only thing that I could really call “an identity.” Until the ritual to merge me with the heroic spirit of Arturia Pendragon. It was not a perfect merge. Oh sure, I looked like her, with the facial structure, blonde hair, and green eyes. She slept in the back of my mind, and my access to her abilities were spotty at best. Before the ritual, I was meant to be the Grail. But I lacked the Wishcraft Sorcery Trait necessary to become the Grail. I was supposed to be trashed, of course, but I survived getting thrown out into the snow and they deemed me worthy of being used for the ritual.

For this reason, I felt inferior. It was only by mere chance I had survived, I reasoned. The first time I felt dislike. It was...unpleasant. To avoid this inferior feeling and to feel like a person, I thrust myself into the role of Arturia. This bad habit is...something I would struggle with. I was chosen to represent the Einzberns in the Grail War. As a Homunculi with excellent Magic Circuits, the servant I would summon would be at peak strength. I summoned Nero, as I felt she would give great utility with her Imperial Privilege skill. (She didn’t have it, as much as she would go on and on about how she could do things.). Another flaw.

Kiritsugu was my friend and he was assigned to be Irisiviel's bodyguard throughout the war. But I got to know him very well as he would frequently visit the mansion to teach her things. He taught me stuff too. Nero and he would try to help me make an identity of my own, introducing me to things. Kiritsugu intended to assassinate me and take the wish for his own. But I learned of his wish after talking to him, and gave to him. It was a noble one, after all. There was one sensation I desired most of all but couldn't have. And that was love. It was painful for me to see Kiritsugu and Irisviel interact.

It's not like I specifically desired Kiritsugu's attention. More like I was jealous of Irisviel for being the 'perfect' one and being able be loved. I was a flawed being, and thus unlovable in my eyes. But it wasn't knightly to be jealous of people. So I didn't let it show or speak about it. But it tore me up inside. I could never be her. I could never be perfect and cheerful and bubbly 24/7. Of course she had every right to be. Her life was even shorter than mine, so of course she'd put on a happy smile. Still. I envied her existence.
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Gilgamesh found my struggle to find my identity interesting, so he offered me the chance to become his master. He would help me find my own true identity. As long as I yielded the Grail to him, of course. Kiri’s wish was noble. Gilgamesh didn’t even have one. I told them nothing of Kiritsugu's existence, but I told Gil no. I told him that since he had no wish, I had no reason to give it to him. After all, I was going to wish for world peace. And I couldn't betray Kiri. It wasn't right. Nero and Iskandar stopped laughing.

Gilgamesh cut me down with a sword. Saying he would give me the rest of the war to think over my decision. And if I didn’t become his master at the end, he would kill me. Arturia’s endurance was one of the few abilities I had access to, so I survived. But I couldn’t recover so quickly. Lancer and Assassin died when I was passed out. (Nero apparantly found Kiritsugu's method of killing him 'impressive if a bit brutal, but it was a shame that he died that way' I actually had a small crush on Diarmuid at the time, but couldn't recognize it as one. So I was weirdly upset over this. But I didn't show it, since I didn't have a good reason why at the time) Three servants down. Caster (Killed early after Nero utterly slaughtered him. I summoned her with A+ Magic Resistance after all). Assassin. Lancer. And I could barely move.

I gave Kiri Nero's command seals, so he could fight for the rest of the war. Time passed. Pain increased in me. Kiri learned of Sakura’s plight from Kariya when Nero and Iskandar killed Lancelot. He set the Matou's house on fire and made it look like an accident, and then put her in the hospital to get the worms out. One time, I spoke to Maiya Hisau about all my problems. She was incredibly easy to speak to during this time. She said something very interesting to me. "I don't think you should worry about being perfect. It's impossible to be perfect or to be the very best at anything. I think our imperfections are what makes us, us. If we were all perfect, we'd all be the same." I didn't understand what she meant. I didn't understand a lot of human things. I wasn't built to understand. I was built to know and be useful. I failed to be useful.

Kiri asked me if I wanted my pain to end while I lay in bed, hurting all over. I said yes. He told me that it would go away in the morning. Was he going to finally make his wish? I didn't know. He left immediately after I answered, so I couldn't ask him what he meant. I've forgotten the nightmares I had often as a result of my screwy connection to the grail. Even now I don't understand. I felt as if there was something evil in the Grail as I ached. But surely, nothing Irisviel could turn into could be evil. She was perfect and kind and nice. Not a single flaw in her. Something born from me could indeed be evil, but her? No. Never. If she were to become the Grail, it would be nice and pure. My hunch was hard to accept, so I rejected it. But it still hung around in the back of my mind.

The radio announcing a fire awoke me that morning. I still ached, but I could walk again. I don't know what happened that night. All I know is that he didn't make his wish, and Kiritsugu looked awful. Nero wasn’t around. Kiri said that what happened with the Grail “wasn’t important" when I asked. I assumed the Grail had been destroyed in a struggle for it and a fire broke out over it. I mean, he had no reason to lie to me as far as I knew. Later that morning, he brought Sakura and Shirou over. He told me that he would raise them now. But then the Einzberns didn't want Kiritsugu to return to them. I assumed it was because he had failed in the war and trashed him, as they would trash every failure they had. But they also wanted to call me back.  I had an implicit choice to make--the Einzberns or Kiritsugu. I suspected they wanted to dismantle me. But I wanted to LIVE. I wanted to feel. I wanted to cling to everything that life had to offer. I chose Kiritsugu. Because he was my friend. Me, and Kiri would later on rescue Illya from the castle. I told the Einzberns I was going to return, but really I was lying. When I was inside the Einzbern's house, I grabbed Illya and ran the fuck out, manifesting out Excalibur for just long enough to cut down anyone in my way. It was stressful.

Thus, we now had three children to raise. Sakura, Shirou, and Illya. Ten years passed. We never progressed into a romantic relationship. After what happened with Maiya and Irisviel, I'm pretty sure Kiritsugu was hesitant to get into a relationship again. I knew mine and Illya's life would end soon. But I noticed Kiritsugu was also withering. Why. Why was he withering? What happened? Humans don't wither like that. I knew that for sure. Kiritsugu told me that he didn't know either. Were me, Illya, and Kiritsugu all going to die together? What would happen to Sakura and Shirou? I wanted to cling to living. I wanted to keep feeling. I wanted to live together with everyone in a big, happy family! And why was he withering? So what if I was imperfect. So what if I didn't deserve to keep living. I never wanted to die!

I never romantically saw Kiritsugu in that way, we were just friends, but! God! Why couldn't he and Illya live? I broke down in the moonlight, crying out of panic and sadness when that realization hit me.

"Uh. I could help you with that, once you're finished crying."
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[spoiler]Final post I swear.[/spoiler]
I turned around. A chubby human woman sat on...nothing. She had a pair of jeans on with fluffy brown hair. She wore a black “D&D” shirt. Plus very brightly colored sneakers and glasses. It seemed like every time I looked at her glasses and sneakers, they would change in a color combination.

“I’m the Dungeon Master! You want to experience everything there is to see AND have you, Illya, and Kiritsugu potentially live forever? AND get Nero back? Luckily, I have a way to help you!" I thought about it. Why did she want to help?

“What’s the catch?” I asked her.

“Nothing! I just felt bad about your predicament and I decided to help you. You’re an interesting person! It would be a shame if you just DIED because you got RAN OUT OF LIFESPAN of all things.” The Dungeonmaster said. “I’ve been getting pretty bored without a hero to write a story around. That’s how it works here. I construct a story around you, and you go through them!” Her voice sounded like a loud announcer and not a mystic storyteller. Kiritsugu appeared from the corner, pointing a gun at her. The Dungeonmaster stared at him. “Really? You’re gonna fucking greet me that way? Really?”

“I don’t trust you.” He said. "I don't even know who you are, but you just manifested out of nowhere yelling and hollering. Get out and away from my house."

“I’m gonna tell you right now that your bullets can’t do shit to me.” The Dungeonmaster said. Kiritsugu shot her anyway. The bullet subsumed into her, her image remaining unchanged. “You’re not getting that bullet back.” She said.

“What do you want?” Kiri asked. He seemed so...tired.

“You know what it is, Mr Eavesdropper. I’ve got nothing but benign intentions here. Anyway, this isn’t your choice to make, so don’t try any shit because it’ll just waste everyone’s time and your bullets.” The Dungonmaster turned to me. I felt a little angry she was talking to Kiri that way. I almost didn’t want to take her offer because she was so rude. But I did. The pull to live more. Was too strong. And I wanted to save Illya and Kiritsugu.

“I’ll take it.” I said.

And so, Illya, Kiritsugu, and Nero came along with me. And that’s how our story began.
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