DEGARUTA! Episode 04

DEGARUTA! Episode 04: A Vampiric Kerfluffle! The Heroes Need A Hero!?

Xavier: Shit shit shit shit!
Mike: Oh fuck me, fuck me!
Xavier: So what the hell do we do now!?
Mike: I don't know! This entire fucking operation has been a goddam disaster!
Xavier: Yeah, and whose fault was that!?
Mike: Listen here mother fucker! I can't see shit without my glasses, and while I know how glasses are made, I have no fucking idea how to make them.
Xavier: Glasses are not I was clearly misinformed about the nature of this quest.
Mike: Okay I admit it, I fucked up, I'm sorry! I thought the flier said 'Lay the Vampire,' turns out it said 'Slay.' Send your complaints to my manager!
Xavier: At least it seems like we got away. Not like this night can get any worse.
Mike: The hell it can't! That thing came at us through the dam walls, it could smell our fucking blood!
Xavier: Well atleast we have weapons, and the Old Man's technique.
Mike: Remember Neal!? Neal had a sword too. Remember how the Vampire snuck up behind him and popped his head up like a Pez dispenser and fucking drank him!? Cause I do, it was only 10 minutes ago!
Xavier: Okay shutup shutup! We need some kind of plan, or reinforcements of some kind.
Mike: The Guild is on the other side of town! And Old Man and the Paladin are back at warehouse district waiting, help isn't coming!
Xavier: Well at least I'm thinking of a plan! Christ, I wish we had some killer magic, or a way to summon someone here.
Mike: ...uuhhhh.
Xavier: ...say, I don't suppose you know how to summon someone here directly?
Mike: Kinda. My Cheat Skill gives me the knowledge to make a summoning circle, but...
Xavier: Is it local only, or do you think you could dummy up a Hero Summoning Circle?
Mike: Probably...
(A few minutes later)
Mike: Ok now this part designates a target, you can set to random, set to look for certain qualities, or specify a target.
Xavier: Set to shuffle got it.
Mike: That line there is for language comprehension, do it just like the drawing I showed you.
Xavier: What about this one?
Mike: That designates the addition of a Cheat skill.
Xavier: Is that random, or can we set that in advance.
Mike: Yes.
Xavier: Okay, this gives me an idea...
(scribbling on stone bricks intensifies)

3 days ago...

	After arriving in the city of Doskel, the party promptly turns in their quest to the local branch of the Adventurer's Guild and collects their collective rewards, agreeing to continue traveling as a party henceforth. Xavier takes this time to begin flirting with Erica, while he is doing this Mike grabs the next quest for the group so they can earn enough money to get by while staying in the expensive city. However Mike doesn't reveal to the group that his vision isn't the greatest and when he was Hero Summoned, his glasses did not come with him.

	Civilians are being attacked at night, and the party are teamed up with a local adventurer named Neal, who acts as their guide. The only clue to the culprit is that the victims when they are found are often completely drained of blood and their throats torn out. Our heroes, Mike and Xavier but no one else, wisely deduce that this is the work of the Nosferatu, a vampire. However Mike refuses to tell anyone that the Guild already figured that much out and listed it as apart of the quest.

	The party investigate for the next few days looking for clues as to where the Vampire's lair might be. Eventually they agree to split up, Erica with Zentaro, and the great heroes with assistant Neal. During these few days, Xavier continues flirting with Erica but nothing comes of it as she admits she likes him well enough, but her oath to her God which grants her the incredible class/powers of Paladin includes a vow of Chastity, as such she cannot have a relationship until her god is satisfied by her deeds and releases her from her duty to him. Xavier respects this and moves on to the cute girl at the Guild hall. Meanwhile Mike has had a tailored suit prepared and is looking sharp, when asked why, he says its for the quest.

	That Night while Xavier and Neal are searching for the Vampire, hoping to catch it before another victim is slain (there have been several in the last few days alone), Mike has gone to a seemingly innocuous building that appears to be an old abandoned Inn. He knocks on the door with flowers in his hands and a sly smile on his face. He does not expect Xavier and Neal to see him and come up from behind him. As Xavier surprises him, the door suddenly opens and a Pale skinned beauty opens the door. She is surprised to see people at her door at this hour.

	Mike holds up the quest notice with a smile on his face, and tells the woman “I saw your ad at the Guild, sorry it took a few days to get ready, but now I'm here to take care of business if you're still interested. Neal doesn't have a good feeling about this because this place is supposed to be abandoned, the three adventurers begin to argue with one another, almost compeltely ignoring the pale skinned woman, who is herself confused because Mike is holding up a slip for a Kill Quest for the Vampire attacking the citizens at night, but he is the strangest vampire Hunter she has ever seen. During the argument amongst the three adventurers, Xavier doesn't know why he's yelling he just doesn't want to feel left out of whatever adventure things everyone is doing right now, the woman hisses and reveals claws and fangs, her jaw unhinging like an anaconda. Neal is killed as Xavier and Mike just barely dodge roll away thanks to their slightly higher than normal stats as a result of being hero summoned.

	As she feasts on Neal's body, the 2 run away, choosing to save themselves valiantly and leave their friend to hold the vampire at bay like a champion. As they run Xavier inquires as to what Mike was doing, and that's when he learns that Mike mistakenly thought that the Quest was to “Lay the Vampire” not “Slay the Vampire.” The two argue about whether or not it was an honest mistake or not and take stock of the situation. They are grossly underprepared and under equipped at this moment as Mike has none of his gear, and Xavier is a Thief so he's not really made for front line fighting, or solo fighiting, or fighting in general because he was a tech support agent before getting Isekai'd.

	As they lament their situation, they remark that if they had some form of powered reinforcements, maybe they would stand a chance in a stand up fight against the undead creature that is surely pursuing them even now. However their allies are on the other side of the city. When Mike's cheat skill triggers while Xavier offhandedly mentions summoning help. AS the Vampire begins chasing them, having consumed all of Neal's vital fluids, they pair hastily dummy together a DIY hero summoning circle. However during the process they learn some interesting things about the summoning ritual and decide to add to it in the hopes of gaining an advantage of some kind.

	In exchange for removing the line that gives the summoned target Language Comprehension as a base skill upon being summoned along with a general stat boost, the pair manage to hastily add several custom lines of script that designate the summoned person will serve them as retainer, but will otherwise have free will, and in exchange for having no ability buffs, will be able to Resurrect any time they are killed within at least 30minutes, always spawning next to Xavier or Mike, whoever is technically closest geographically to the last place they died. As the Vampire gets closer and begins calling out to the hapless pair, they activate the ritual, light fills the night street, and the pair are surprised that despite the ritual being supposed to grab a random person from another world, this world, or any other world, they did not specify point of origin... they are greeted by the familiar face of Raptro. Raptro is extremely confused as to what has just happened, and things grow even more confusing when Raptro is almost immediately killed by the Vampire which has caught up to the group.

	The 2 heroes now stand alone, their desperate gambit now a dismembered puddle of blood and viscera on the ground. The Vampire laughing at the two, thanking them for bringing such tasty meals. Xavier thinking quickly, tries to stall the vampire by saying that while they did accept the kill quest, they were looking for the vampire because they admired her handy work and wanted to join up with her. The Vampire woman smiles at the two as Raptro's blood drips from her fangs and claws... how will they ever make it out of this situation?