TN: The original was a very simple chan-style
forum conversation, possibly written by multiple
people, and lacking any form of narration. It's
a bunch of back-and-forths: The guy says one
thing, the girl responds, and so on, each sentence
marked by a single kanji.

I'm lazy, so I'll do the same.

'=='s mark post boundaries.


M: You want to go to the beach with me.
F: Mm.
M: You don't have a swimsuit, though.
F: Mm.
M: And you can't afford to buy one.
F: Mm.
M: I own two swimming trousers.
F: ...?
F: But, but but but but buuuuut!!
M: Then, let's forget this conversation happened.
F: Aa.. aa, aa, um, aa--

=====

F: But, that's, but-- um, but-- but, but--
F: But I, um -- we, well, my chest is fl.. flat, but--
F: People call me flat, flat-chested, but.. still, but..
M: It's not like I really *want* to go to the ocean.
F: Waaaah...

M: I've got a hawaiian (shorts-type) one and a school swimsuit (tight-fitting) one, which do you prefer?
F: Eeeeh?

F: ...hawaiian.

M: I'll take the hawaiian, then.


(TN: And this is when you realize he's enjoying it.)

=====

M: No swell between your legs, though? ...well, it's fine.
M: It suits you, I'd say.

F: Please, at least let me wear the hawaiian!
F: Please! Because.. I mean...

M: No way! Wearing something that tight-fitting at my age is embarrassing!

F: Wuu.. bu, but, it's just the same for me! This is embarrassing!

M: If it's that embarrassing, then put something in. A lemon, maybe.

F: No! Not that kind of 'embarrassing'!

=====

M: Oh, a banana would be fine! That won't slip.

F: Wa-wait, what are you saying?!

M: A banana, or a lemon. Which do you prefer?

F: Eeeeh? Um, wait, um, um, what do you-- um.
F: Isn't that weird? It's weird! You.. um, um, wait--

M: Which one?

F: ...??
F: The lemon, then...

M: Then let's go with the banana!

F: Eeeeeeh!?


(TN: Okay, look... he's just playing with you, girl.)

=====

F: Oh, of course! I'll just wear a t-shirt!
F: Right! That's right, I'll wear a t-shirt.
F: A large, loose one.

M: You're not planning to swim?

F: ..??

--

M: Now, the banana. I'm sure I put one in the fridge...

F: Wait! Please, honestly please! Stop that!

M: Okay, then we won't go.

F: ..wuh?

M: The people around you would talk. "That girl isn't dressed," and that sort of thing.

F: Wuh...

M: Let's stay home?

F: .. ...let's go.

=====

M: Here, a banana. Put it with the rest of the stuff.

F: Um, that's... do I have to wear it while I'm swimming?

M: Well, yeah.

F: .....

M: Okay, then let's meet again tomorrow.

F: ...

M: You okay?

F: Um... are you going to listen to what I'm saying?

M: Yea.

F: ...understood. Thanks.

M: ..yeah.

=====

<At the sea>

M: I'm a bit late. Where did that girl go...

Passerby 1: Say, did you see that guy?
Passerby 2: Yeah! Seriously, in broad daylight too!

M: ...

----

F: Oh, *bzzt*! You finally came! Geez!
F: This is really embarrassing! Idiot! Geez!

M: (Too... too big. It looks like an erection.)

F: But I'm so glad... you came!


(TN: The guy's just called "otoko". ...his name is now 'bzzt'.)

=====

M: So you did find a t-shirt. It doesn't reach all the way down, though.

F: Mm, it really was too embarrassing.

M: (What shall I do? This is way too obvious if anyone looks.)

F: Um, *bzzt*, um, this...

M: ?

F: This is pretty.. um, that is... Really tight.

M: Well, I've had it since grade-school after all.

F: Mm, but it's.. it's fine, right? Right?
F: I haven't been found out!
F: I haven't been found out, um... it's fine, right...?

M: You didn't put on make-up today, right? Your hair looks pretty boyish as well.
M: It's just your voice that's cute, so as long as you don't speak you'll be fine.

F: Um, my voice..? I... I see. Ehe...

---

Passerby 3: Wow, that boy's penis is a monster!

=====

M: But, still... push it down a little further?

F: Um, this thing..?

M: Yea. It looks a bit... erect.

F: Eh, eh, eh, eeeeh?! What? You're kidding, right!!?

M: Let's go to the toilet.

F: Um, um.. right! Right, let's... let's go. Waah...

---

<Men's toilet>

F: Huh, the guys' toilet is kinda blue. The walls and stuff.

M: Okay, I'm pushing it in.

F: ..eeeh?

=====

F: Wait, wait a  second! Don't to-- don't touch that!
F: I got it! I'll do it myself! Stop!

M: Ah.

F: But, but, listen--

M: What is it?

F: This is-- this is the limit. It won't go in any further.

M: Just a little bit.

F: It doesn't go any further!

M: I'll look away, so push it in already!

F: ...You'll really look away?

M: I'll look away.

F: ...

F: Got it. I'll let you know when I'm done, so look away until then, okay?

=====

F: Guh..

F: Aah!

F: ...

F: Hah... Haaah...

F: ...

F: Hah... hah...

M: (These walls are really well made, right? Good tiles. The best tiles.)

----

(TN: "Yanki": Stereotypical 'bad boy' type.)

Yanki: Haah. I really need to let this out.

F: Waah?

Yanki: Hih??

=====

M: (These are really good tiles, aren't they? Two or three times better than at home.)


F: ????

Yanki: ???

F: (Oh, right! I'm not supposed to talk!)
F: (What do I do? Eeh? Wha.. What do I do?! A boy!?)
F: (Please look away!)

Yanki: Hey, you...

F: ????

Yanki: Don't stare at people while they're on the toilet!

F: !!

=====

M: (Um..?)

M: (Aaah! There's someone here!)

Yanki: What bastard are you? Waiting for someone?

M: Oh, well...

Yanki: ...your bastard boyfriend is staring all around him while erect.
Yanki: Could you get any more disgusting?

M: Er...

F: (Er? Boyfriend? Um..)

Yanki: If you're going to masturbate, then do it at home!

M: Well, that's obvious...

F: (...?! ??!!)

M: (To F:) So, apologize.

F: (? !?!?! ...?)

=====

F: (Wai... what's this guy saying!?)

M: Quickly, now.

F: (But, but, I'm not supposed to speak!)

M: You can't apologize without speaking. Look now.

F: ...eeeh?

Yanki: Hurry up and apologize already!!!!

F: I... I'm sorry...

M, Yanki: For what?

F: For m, ma... masturbating...


(TN: I don't think this is what she had in mind with a trip to the ocean. Next time skip the banana.)

=====


Yanki: Speaking of.. bastard, your voice is kind of cute.

F: Ah! Er, er, that is....

M: Right, we're leaving. Bye, now!

Yanki: Wha-- wait!

-----

M: *deep breaths*

F: Geeez! What did you make me say!
F: That was incredibly embarrassing! Idiot! Half-wit! Honestly, geez!

M: Ah. Well... did you manage to push it in a little?

F: Nn.. um... a little bit, but...

M: Hmm?

F: If we go back to the beach again later then, um, I want one made of cloth.

M: ...well, let's go swimming.

F: Yeah!

=====

M: (Well, she looks like a normal beach-goer. Nothing too unusual.)

F: He~ he~ But I'm no~t going on my own~
F: Let's swim together! Oh, look! Inflatables!

M: Ah.

F: They're free to use, even!

M: Oh, so they are.

M: ...

M: Right, then. Take off your t-shirt.

F: ...

F: Y... yes, right..

M: It's to~tally fine! Nobody is looking.

F: Haa... wait... are you sure no-one is looking?

M: No-one is looking!


(TN: Except for otoko-san.)

====

M: (Her nipples really are sticking out...)

F: ?????? ////////////

M: Well, it's probably fine.

F: Probably... probably!?

M: Definitely fine.

---

F: Right! Going! I'm jumping in!

*Splash*

F: A~n!!!!!

M: ...why are you lying on your face in the water?

F: T-to hide my... my chest a little!

=====

F: *Splash* *splash*

M: You're swimming kind of unsteadily. Are you bad at swimming?
M: I'll go searching for seashells, then.

F: *Splash* *slosh*

M: Righto...

----

F: Aah...

M: Hmm? What is it?

F: Um, um... that is....
F: Um, it got... squished, and wet, and...
F: Sorry, it's kind of splattered...

M: Oh, because of the seawater? So the banana wasn't any good...

F: Sorry... I'm taking it out. No-one is looking, right?

M: You're underwater, right? ...and it's a snack, anyway.

F: Fu.. wah...

M: ...

M: Looking at it from here, that really looks like a lot of sperm.

F: Do--don't say weird things!

=====

F: Fu... wa~~ *slurp*

M: That's splendidly missing now, then.

F: Un, ehe~ It's finally gone!
F: It made swimming really hard, so...
F: Now I can, um, now I can swim without any risk of letting out weird voices! Yay!

M: That's no good. You're looking really suspicious now.

F: Bleee~h. (TN: Imagine her sticking her tongue out.)
F: Besides, the banana is go~n~e!

M: That's why I picked this thing up earlier.

F: ...eh.

F: ...

M: ...

M: A sea cucumber, that is.

=====

F: Wha-- Whawhawhawha-- What is that! That's sick! Eeh, what's with THAT!?!

M: Eh? You don't know what sea cucumbers are?

F: Tha, tha, that's a sea cucumber??
F: THAT is?!
F: It's alive!
F: That's, that, that's nauseating!

M: Right, exactly. *Nod* This is called a sea cucumber.

F: Bu, bububut, I thought sea cucumbers were something like fish eggs!

M: Nope. This is a sea cucumber.

F: But, but--
F: That's a sea cucumber?!
F: Haah?

M: This is a sea cucumber. It's a creature of the sea to begin with, so it won't dissolve.

F: Wait. Wait a second.
F: What are you saying? You're not, right?

M: Use this instead.

F: ...

F: No! No way! No how! NOOOOO!
F: That, that, that thing is moving!
F: It's moving!
F: It -- eh? That thing is moving!
F: I can't do that! I DEFINITELY can't do THAT!
F: The banana was-- the banana was still-- the banana was something I could be intimate with, but--
F: I thought it looked delicious, yes, but-- but that thing doesn't look delicious at all! It looks sickening!
F: No! No! NO! Totally impossible!

=====

F: Uu~ Uwaah~~ ah~ aaa...
F: It's... it's kind of warm.. M... M....
F: Uwaa?!!!
F: Naaaa!!!!

M: Your voice is a bit loud. Be quiet, we'll get found out.

F: Bu, buuuut even if you say thaaat...
F: Fuu... n! Wuu...
F: Aan! nnn!! Aaaa..wuu...
F: A!!! N... not that p.... wuuu...

M: We'll get found out! Look. Here--

F: Eeeeh! This is-- another sea cucumb--

M: That should keep you quiet.

F: Nnnn! Uuunn?! Nn! Nnnn!
F: A! Nfu?uuu!!! Nnnnfuu uwu ???!!!

F: (Something is coming out! Something is coming out of the end of it! Something is--)
F: (Something is gushing out of it! Gyaaah!!)

=====

M: Um? What is it?

F: Nnnnnn!!! Fu! Fuuun! Nnn!

F: (The sea cucumber below is letting something out!)
F: (It's moving a lot, and letting something out!)
F: (Gyaaaah!)

M: Well, guess I should take it out.

F: Nnnnn!

----

M: So, what is it?

F: Haa.... Haa....

M: ..?

F: Um, look... something really spurted out of it...

M: ...ah.

F: I wish it had just moved around.

M: ...huh?

F: ...nothing.

=====

M: What were you saying?

F: Nothing, I said!

M: Well, in any case, let's say goodbye to this thing.

*Splash, as if a lightly bitten sea cucumber fell into the sea*

F: Phew...

M: You look really tired.

F: Mm. Yeah...

-----

Yanki: I saw that. He took his penis out. And in the middle of the sea, even...

=====

Translation left off at:
-do, doyuu koto na n da