mrkillwolf666

4chan Hazbin Hotel story - Alastor meet Blitzo

Nov 14th, 2020 (edited)
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  1. from /hhg/ Hazbin Hotel general #467, #470 and #489
  2. ----------------
  3. >The one on top has the same color scheme as Alastor...
  4. -
  5. >hm, yeah. maybe blitzo has seen Alastor before
  6. -
  7. >I think Blitzo may have seen Alastor before when he was younger. If you look at the posters in the pilot, Blitzo used to work at a circus before forming IMP.
  8. -
  9. >Isn't there one bit in his intro sequence, when Vaggie is recounting what he did when he first manifested in Hell, that sort of looks like a circus tent?
  10. -
  11. >Again here, this looks like a circus poster.
  12. -
  13. >Now look at what Alastor is destroying, it looks awfully close to a circus tent.
  14. -
  15. >Shit that's exactly what I was thinking of in
  16. >So maybe
  17. >Blitzo is a survivor of Alastor's initial rampage through Hell
  18. >It's part of the reason he's so disdainful of humans/sinners, he's seen the full extent of how rotten they can be
  19. >As far as he's concerned, all his targets are potential Alastors just waiting to show up in Hell and wreck shit, may as well kill them now before they can get any more evil and start getting god powers
  20. -
  21. >I like it, although it contradicts with him trying to save a child in the pilot.
  22. -
  23. >holy shit, this is good
  24. -
  25. >Good Thinking.
  26. -
  27. >Thinking about it more, the circus Blitzo was in could also have been run by a sinner, not a hellborn demon, since Vaggie specifies that it was "overlords" who were getting taken down, and the native demons seem to have a stricter, more traditional hierarchy than the sinners who just start trying to off each other right after the annual cleanse to their neighbor's land. Alastor may have inadvertently freed Blitzo from some shitty arrangement he had with an older sinner. Basically just trading one villain for another.
  28. -
  29. >Whatever the case may be, he looks like he repressed the memory of it.
  30. ----
  31. >Based on Moxxie's behavior in episode one, trying to save the little shit kid may have been more of his thing than Blitzo's. Blitzo may have felt a little bit bad that his mission "accidentally" snuffed out a child, since even he just operates under the assumption that children probably don't deserve to die, but Moxxie was probably the one who pushed for them to take him to the hospital, just as he was the one who wanted to call the cops on Martha's family rather than just blow their brains out even after he realized they were sadistic cannibals worshiping a made-up eldritch entity.
  32. ----
  33. >Alastor licked the blood from his new claws
  34. >The people down here in hell were at least as tasty as those he'd devoured on earth
  35. >And with a newly-minted maw full of proper predator's teeth to compliment his claws, he didn't even have to trouble himself with butchering his victims
  36. >He could simply tear into them and feast at his leisure, no knife required
  37.  
  38. >Sated
  39.  
  40. >For the moment at least
  41.  
  42. >He dropped the remains of his latest meal down into the pool of blood his ravenous gnawing had caused to pool on the floor
  43.  
  44. >He regarded the corpse with disdain as the crimson began to soak into their clothing
  45. >This was what passed for an "Overlord" here in Hell?
  46. >This limp-wristed ninny controlled blocks and blocks of the city and hundreds of underlings like some tin-pot-dictator-strongman-wannabe-king?
  47. >How embarrassing
  48. -
  49. >He left the money and weaponry and drugs and whatnot where they were
  50. >He hadn't come to seize this boor's empire, only to dismantle it
  51. >He had little use for any of this junk
  52. >He'd just been hungry, and in a bit of a bad mood on account of his empty stomach, and their classless, obnoxious behavior had really irked him, and so he'd decided they had to be done away with
  53.  
  54. >Strolling out of the ruined building, he stopped in the middle of the street to look around
  55. >Most of the other sinners had fled once they realized his destruction of the local strongman was going to be more than a fireworks show
  56. >A few still lingered, paralyzed by what they had seen, but he ignored them
  57. >He wasn't hungry anymore, and most of them didn't look terribly appetizing anyway
  58. >He picked a random direction and began a walk
  59. >There had to be something more to entertain him, somewhere around here
  60. >At least he hoped so
  61. >He got bored easily.
  62. -
  63. >The Wendigo turned his head as he passed a wall covered in flyers
  64. >Most of them were of little interest
  65. >Live sex shows
  66. >Hallucinogens and cocaine being sold at a discount
  67. >Slave labor
  68. >Electronic devices that he had no idea the purpose of
  69. >But there was one that caught his eye
  70.  
  71. >An advertisement for a circus
  72. >It looked just like the ones he'd gone to when he was alive
  73. >"Double-death defying stunts!"
  74. >"Featuring the Incredible Imp Siblings!"
  75. >"THE GREATEST SHOW IN HELL!"
  76.  
  77. >Well, that last one wouldn't do
  78. >Now that he was here, HE was the greatest showman in Hell
  79. >But of course, he'd have to prove it
  80. >He'd go to see this spectacle
  81. >He'd take a gander at this "Amazing Blitzo"
  82. >But once the ringmaster had gotten his paltry drabbling out of his system...
  83.  
  84. >He'd give the audience a REAL show
  85.  
  86. >Ha
  87.  
  88. >Ha
  89.  
  90. >HA
  91. -----
  92. >Blitzo ran
  93. >No particular destination in mind
  94. >But he had to keep moving
  95. >If he kept moving, he might have a slim chance
  96. >But sitting still was a guarantee of death
  97. >It wasn't the fact that the Big Top was on fire, those were just common flames, no threat to a hellborn demon like himself
  98.  
  99. >No, it was that sinner who was the real threat
  100. >That "Alastor"
  101. >He had no idea why the lanky, cervine demon had chosen to lay waste to this circus instead of anything else in this part of Pentagram City
  102. >But he did know that beyond an ability to shift and teleport to quickly seize his prey
  103. >And a set of teeth that would make a shark jealous with which to devour his victims
  104. >He seemed to have powers that were far beyond the overlord who had owned Blitzo's soul for who knew how long
  105. >All around him, pits opened up from arcane circles seemingly at random, inky black tentacles erupting forth to ensnare demons seemingly at random and crush them to pulp or slam them to the ground with bone-shattering force
  106. >Shadowy creatures with faces like crude voodoo dolls leapt in and out of existence, feeding on the circus goers with at least as much gusto as their master
  107.  
  108. >Worst of all, the sinner wasn't angry
  109. >Wasn't vengeful
  110. >Wasn't greedy
  111. >He seemed to have no rational motivation for the slaughter at all
  112. >He was just having fun, and no one could stop him
  113. -
  114. >"Alastor" carried a cane with him as he strolled merrily through the maelstrom of chaos
  115. >It was crowned with a microphone that he spoke into when he wasn't disemboweling passersby
  116. >He described the chaos he was the central locus of with glee and excitement, in terms as if he was announcing a game of baseball or a horse race
  117. >The microphone spoke back, offering color commentary, setting him up for jokes, even offering providing a laugh track and other whacky sound effects as he butchered demons at random in the flaming tent.
  118. >Blitzo had no idea if the microphone was actually broadcasting anything, anywhere, but he had no inclination to ask.
  119. >The only question he had on his mind beyond how he would survive this was about his sisters
  120. >He didn't know where they were
  121. >They'd been separated quickly once Alastor had made his "grand entrance"
  122. >He hoped they were safe
  123. -
  124. >As he made for an exit, an oily, unnatural shadow slithered across the ground, darting between his legs and settling into his path
  125. >He had just enough time to feel more fear than he'd ever felt grip his heart, before Alastor rose up before him
  126. >He stumbled and skittered to a halt on the blood-soaked earthen floor of the big top, but the sinner had already grabbed him by the neck with a long, spidery claw before he could turn and flee
  127. -
  128. >Alastor pulled Blitzo in close, close enough that even through the reek of smoke coming off the burning tent, he could smell him
  129. >Sharp
  130. >Metallic
  131. >Like a light bulb filament or vacuum tube with too many watts running through it
  132. >Like overheated electronics
  133. >He spoke, through a clownish smile, and his breath, thick with the scent of blood and licorice, washed over him
  134.  
  135. >"Well well well~"
  136. >"Looks like it's our lucky day folks!"
  137. >"You may or may not believe this, but I've managed to rope in none other than the headliner, The Amazing Blitzo himself, for an interview!"
  138. -
  139. >Alastor shifted his grip, hooking his arm around Blitzo's shoulder as if they were old friends
  140. >He held the microphone up to his mouth and spoke again
  141.  
  142. >"Well now, Blitzo"
  143. >"Oh, is that how you pronounce it?"
  144. >"Blitzo?"
  145.  
  146. >The terrified imp had no idea how to answer such a mundane question in such a horrific situation
  147. >Other than with the truth
  148.  
  149. >"Th-the O is silent..."
  150.  
  151. >Alastor cackled like a lunatic
  152.  
  153. >"Ah of course of course!"
  154. >"I should've known!"
  155. >"I'm sure I've seen that funny little way of writing an O before, but for the life of me I couldn't recall what it meant!"
  156.  
  157. >Alastor leaned in closer
  158. >He thrust the microphone uncomfortably close to Blitzo's terrified face
  159.  
  160. >"Well then, BLITZ, maybe you'll have better luck with today's game than the previous contestants"
  161. >"Maybe you can answer the million dollar question"
  162. >"The question on everyone's minds"
  163. >"THE QUESTION EVERYONE IS ASKING, AM I RIGHT FOLKS?"
  164.  
  165. >The microphone began to emit the sounds of an audience cheering and clapping enthusiastically
  166. >With it only inches from his face, Blitzo realized it had an eye, and it was staring at him, unfeeling
  167.  
  168. >"So tell me Blitz, are you ready to play?"
  169. -
  170. >Blitzo knew full well that he didn't actually have a choice
  171. >So he nodded with as much enthusiasm as he could summon in his fearful state
  172. >He knew from his experiences with The Ringmaster and his friends that simply playing the role a lunatic expected of you in their fantasy rather than trying to escape it was often the least painful option
  173.  
  174. >"Huzzah!"
  175. >"Finally!"
  176. >"A sporting fellow!"
  177.  
  178. >The crimson-tinted sinner huddled in even closer, and fixed the imp with a strangely conspiratorial look, as if the both of them were in on the same joke
  179.  
  180. >"Well then, Blitz"
  181. >"For a thousand and one points"
  182. >"For the grand prize"
  183. >"All the marbles"
  184. >"The girl, the gold watch, and everything"
  185. >"Tell me..."
  186.  
  187. >"Where is that talentless hack of a ringmaster of yours hiding?"
  188. -
  189. >Blitzo was in shock for a moment
  190. >That's what he wanted?
  191. >Alastor wasn't interested in him?
  192. >He was after his boss instead?
  193.  
  194. >For one moment, he was relieved
  195.  
  196. >In the next, he felt something cold and vindictive reach up from the pit of his stomach and wrap itself around his heart
  197. --------------------
  198. >Blitzo thought back to all his time performing for The Ringmaster
  199. >He thought of all the times he'd been worked to the point of collapsing from exhaustion
  200. >He thought of the times all he had to show for his work was a paltry plate of miserable, tasteless food because "Tonight's take wasn't very good. I guess the audience wasn't impressed with your performance."
  201. >He thought of those evenings when he'd be called upon for a "private performance" with The Ringmaster and some of his so-called "potential investors"
  202. >He gritted his teeth
  203.  
  204. >Then he smiled
  205.  
  206. >And put on a lousy impression of the sinner in whose grip he found him-self's corny accent
  207.  
  208. >"WELL OLD CHUM..."
  209. >"Therein lies the rub, as they say!"
  210. >"I'm afraid I can't tell you exactly where my illustrious employer is!"
  211. >"BUT"
  212. >"I can give you a short list of the places he's mostly likely to be at such a trying moment as this!"
  213. -
  214. >Blitzo reached up to pull the microphone as close as he could to his lips as Alastor smiled even wider
  215. >He began to rattle off all the places that his boss might have gone to escape the invader's gleeful destruction
  216. >Where his dressing room was
  217. >Where he took his meals
  218. >Where he slept
  219. >All the private entrances to every attraction at the circus that he used as part of his performances
  220.  
  221. >A hateful sort of happiness welled up in him as he sealed his master's fate
  222. >The Ringmaster was a monstrous sinner
  223. >Alastor was a monstrous sinner
  224. >They both made even the nastiest hellborn prince look merciful and even-handed by comparison
  225. >They deserved each other
  226. >The two monsters could go right ahead and tear each other to pieces
  227. >Fuck the both of them
  228.  
  229. >Fuck mortal sinners
  230. >Fuck mortal souls in general
  231. >Fuck humans
  232. >Fuck the people who made them
  233. >Fuck the people who decided that Hell was where the worst of them should end up after they died
  234.  
  235. >He had a slight hope that Alastor would triumph over The Ringmaster
  236. >He had a personal beef with the latter, while Alastor was presently nothing more than a blood-soaked monstrosity that hadn't hurt him directly just yet
  237. >But really, so long as the two vile examples of all the nasty muck that could well up in one of Heaven's precious fucking creations hurt each other as badly as possible, he'd be happy
  238. >Fuck the both of them
  239. >He was getting out of here
  240. -
  241. >Alastor let go of the little...devil? Demon? Imp?
  242. >He still wasn't sure of the proper name for everything down here in Hell
  243. >But he could learn all that later
  244. >Right now, he had an all-flash, no-substance spotlight hog to disembowel, and his audience wouldn't wait much longer to hear their screams
  245. >He sent a tentacle racing up from the ground beside him to swat away a broad sheet of burning canvas falling down from the roof of the tent as he walked off toward where The Amazing Blitz had said his newest prize might be hiding
  246. >He wanted to look sharp-
  247.  
  248. >Haha
  249.  
  250. >SHARP
  251.  
  252. >For the kill, and having ashes all over his nice scarlet suit wouldn't do
  253. >He was vaguely aware of the subject of his latest interview skittering away through the flames, but he strongly suspected he had little to fear from them
  254. -
  255. >The Ringmaster stumbled as they ran through the flaming remnants of their circus
  256. >The loss of momentum stirred even more panic in them
  257. >Panting and sweating, they righted themselves as quickly as they could and willed their exhausted legs to run even faster
  258. >They had to get out of here
  259. >They had to get as far away as possible
  260. >That new arrival
  261. >That "Radio Demon"
  262. >Was a menace beyond measure
  263. >They had no idea why he'd taken interest in them
  264. >No idea what he wanted
  265. >But they knew he had nothing but ill intent on his mind
  266.  
  267. >They rounded a corner and froze
  268. >A tall, emaciated figure stood there
  269. >Even backlit by the flames engulfing everything, they could still see a sickly, yellow smile curled up beneath a set of crimson eyes that glowed like the dials on a radio set
  270. >A pall of heavy static settled in around them, quickly becoming so thick that it drowned out the crackle and pop of burning timber and cloth
  271.  
  272. >The Ringmaster sent forth the paltry few battle spells they still had the energy for
  273. >All were swatted away in an instant
  274. >They took a step back, and began to beg, as the gaunt, red-clad figure drew closer
  275. >They offered money
  276. >They offered connections
  277. >They offered sexual favors
  278. >The Radio Demon didn't respond
  279.  
  280. >He planted his cane in the ground, facing the microphone so that it could best pick up everything that was about to happen
  281.  
  282. >Then he began to feast
  283. -
  284. >The bell attached to the door clattered as Blitzo pushed it open
  285. >The demon standing at the counter of the diner glared at him as he tracked bloodied mud over his floor, but said nothing
  286. >It was a saturday night, this kind of shit was bound to happen sooner or later
  287.  
  288. >Although it was well past dinner time, Blitzo didn't have to look too far through the menu to decide that he wanted a stack of pancakes
  289. >Pancakes were a comfy, happy food
  290. >He needed some comfort right now
  291. >He still didn't know where Barbie and Tilla were
  292. >He didn't know what he was going to do next
  293. >But at least he hadn't been erased
  294.  
  295. >Stabbing his fork down through a pile of nicely browned, fluffy, butter and syrup-soaked disks of batter, he took note of the radio sitting on the far side of the counter
  296. >He reached over and dragged it to him
  297. >Ignoring the continued glares of the proprietor, he turned it on, cranked the volume, and began to fuss with the knob
  298. >Traffic, sports, weather...things he couldn't care less about right now
  299. >He had to wonder if the chatty, one-eyed microphone that topped The Radio Demon's cane was anything more than a showpiece, a little sidedish to the sinner's blatant insanity
  300. >Then he hit just the right frequency, and the familiar sounds of mayhem began to come through clear as day
  301. >He heard a familiar voice letting out screams, and pleas for mercy, along with the sickeningly wet sounds of flesh being separated from bone, mixed with up-tempo, easy-listening jazz and strange whispers from an unknown source
  302. >He heard another voice with a dorky, fake, made-up accent from some lousy frost-bitten part of the living world jabbering on and on as if he were narrating to his listeners how to break down a chicken for roasting
  303.  
  304. >He stuffed another bundle of butter, syrup, and overmixed batter, four layers thick, into his mouth
  305. >He smiled with macabre satisfaction
  306. >At the very least, someone had gotten what was coming to them this night
  307. ---
  308. >Blitzo scraped his fork over his plate to collect the last bits of the ugly brown paste of crumbs and syrup that had accumulated on it as a side effect of his meal proper
  309. >The radio was now playing a steady drone of ragtime
  310. >The Ringmaster had met their end some time ago, at the hands of the newly arrived Radio Demon
  311. >A bigger, meaner monster had clawed his way down from the mortal realm and eaten the smaller monster
  312.  
  313. >Good
  314.  
  315. >Fucking
  316.  
  317. >Riddance
  318.  
  319. >The imp frowned to himself, in spite of the sweet, mushy puree gracing his mouth
  320. >There were so many humans up there
  321. >So, so many of them
  322. >All of them as potentially wicked as his old boss or any number of other overlords
  323. >If this Alastor fellow was anything to go by, they were growing more and more evil with every year
  324. >More and more powerful
  325. >More and more insane
  326. >And thereby, ever more able to drown Hell in bloody horror for no other reason than their own kooky, crazy, slapstick whims
  327.  
  328. >And worse yet, he was out of a job
  329. >Flipping about and contorting himself on a street corner for pocket change wouldn't be able to feed him and keep a roof over his head at the same time for very long
  330. >He needed something more lucrative
  331.  
  332. >Hmmmm....
  333.  
  334. >If only he could find a way to cover both bases at once....
  335.  
  336. >Hmmm hmmm hmmmmmmm...
  337.  
  338. >It might take a few decades, and if he couldn't find his sisters, he'd need someone else as staff, but he'd come up with something
  339. >He'd kill two gargoyles with one stone
  340. >He'd take out humans before they ever got wicked enough to be a real threat to hell
  341. >If they were already damned, at least it would be a lesser damnation, and they'd be nothing but another weirdo staggering through the streets of the pentagram in a haze of impotent sex and drugs and rage and hypocrisy
  342. >If they weren't, they'd go to Heaven. Good for them
  343. >And at the same time, he'd be lining his pockets. Good for him.
  344. >It would be a fine business venture, he was sure.
  345.  
  346. END
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