arrested development frozen farts

I had the kind of childhood where none of the adults in my life really bothered to filter their conversations in the presence of minors. Due to this, I had a very realistic view of how the world worked, and to my mother’s pure horror I would say “if I grow up” instead of “when I grow up”. I think that due to the atmosphere in which I was raised, I grew up faster than most kids. I had a sort of rough childhood and then in my pre-teen years I actually worked 40-50 hour weeks at my stepdad’s factory and slept on the floor of an art museum, and now, as an adult, I’m in sort of a state of arrested development wherein I act on immature impulses as a way to re-appropriate my dysfunctional childhood. Unfortunately my boss doesn’t accept this as an excuse for why I keep farting in he walk in freezers at work right before luring him inside under false pretenses. He also is tired of informing me that the Aerospace company we work for would not be interested in mass producing a line of frozen farts.