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WindStrike

Invasion, Part 10 - Trials Evolution

Jun 14th, 2020
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  1. <DM> **LAST TIME ON ZURPG - Kirran & Hal Edition**
  2. <DM> *Congratulations, you found Lord Gustaf and convinced him to rally the forces at Goron City! Unfortunately, the path there is rife with monsters, and boy of boy, does Lord Gusty love a good fight! Especially with that armor influencing his every move. Kirran decided to ditch Hal and go off on a side venture to find Ghost Hunter. He saw the still-not-advancing force sitting in front of Hyrule City, reminisced briefly with Monroe, telephoned Zelda to debrief her on the Gustaf news, and at last, found Ghost Hunter. He managed to strike a rather shady deal with the guy (without an actual Shady), and Shadow Hopped back.
  3. <DM> *Meanwhile, instead of sneaking back, Hal got to enjoy the joys of Gustaf not wanting to sneak, and instead fighting every god darn thing in his path. Using some very clever tactics, Hal managed to use a decoy of the Mask Man to lure Gustaf into Kakariko. They tried escaping up the mountainside, but an army of Bokoblins surrounded them. They managed to hide in Mima's Music Shop, where they found a Kirran and a hitchhiking Ghost Hunter. Shenanigans ensued as they found and disarmed an old Sheikah passageway, and they escaped through there, only to be caught by their life-long nemesis, Loading Screen-senpai.
  4. <DM> -=SESSION START=-
  5. <DM> *After a rough eternity of 3 weeks in a loading screen, the two of you finally emerge to find yourselves in what looks like an old Sheikah passageway. And I mean real old. Closer to the ethereal feel of the Old Shadow Temple, as opposed to the haunting nightmares of the new one.
  6. <DM> *Cyan markings of a language you don't recognize glows faintly across the walls.
  7. <Kirran> Huh, that's certainly something. I can't read any of this.
  8. * Hal glanced across the cyan markings and then back to Kirran.
  9. <DM> *Kirran, even though you've shelved your Golden Gauntlets, you're startin' to hear some incoherent whispers in your head. Well, less incoherent and more "go destroy the world for me", and stuff like that. You're able to resist it pretty well, but there's always that temptation to just go and punch something and feel better about it. Like the way you punched Dark Link. You should do more of that.
  10. <Hal> Do you have the Book of Mudora on hand?
  11. <DM> *Though you don't recognize the language, it does seem somewhat familiar to you in design. Somewhat.
  12. <Kirran> I don't think I ever had it?
  13. <DM> *Gustaf looks over to you, Kirran, giving you slight creeper smile. He may be going slightly cuccoo in the brain...
  14. <DM> [Gustaf]: Hah, now you know what it feels like. Don't worry, friend, you'll get used to it in time.
  15. <Kirran> (Oh no, that's the last thing we need is Fierce Deity Cuucoo...)
  16. <DM> (pffft)
  17. <DM> *He tries to put his hand on your shoulder.
  18. <Kirran> All due respect Lord Gustaf, but I've had a lot more than one voice in my head.
  19. <Kirran> Let me tell you about the time I set up an echo chamber in there.
  20. <DM> [Raine]: I'm more than two voices, and I haven't even feasted on a corpsecake recently!
  21. * Kirran thousand yard stares.
  22. <DM> *Your PTSD sets off Gustaf's own PTSD, allowing him to take over for a brief moment.
  23. <DM> [Gustaf]: Yes, yes... I know that look.
  24. <DM> [Gustaf]: War... War has changed...
  25. <DM> *His David Hayter impression is quickly taken back over by Creeper McJoe.
  26. <DM> [Gustaf]: Well then, since you forced me in here, might as well explore and, well.. maybe get to know each other better. One war pal to another.
  27. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Oh I'll get to know you alright, teeheeheehee...
  28. <Hal> In all my reading I have not come across this ancient language. Is this some sort of old shiekah language?
  29. <DM> *You remember Ghost Hunter is a thing, as you see him start to slobber for a tasty soul.
  30. <DM> *Up ahead, there's a closed door, and a terminal of sorts in front of it. There's also a magic stone embedded in it, though it's lost its glow and ire.
  31. <DM> ... I didn't spell that right did I
  32. <DM> you know what, lemme just...
  33. <DM> *though it's lost its glow. And glow.
  34. * Hal examines the terminal, looking to get a grasp on what might power it.
  35. <DM> *Hal, in checking out the markings, and the terminal out, you realize why it looks familiar, but at the same time unreadable...
  36. <Hal> This is definitely not something I've seen...
  37. <DM> *Oh, but it is. But it also... isn't.
  38. <DM> *The terminal and stone, you've seen before. Back over in the Twilight Palace. Particularly the one that powered the elevators there.
  39. * Kirran has even more PTSD flashbacks to the killer elevator.
  40. <Kirran> ooohhh nooo
  41. <DM> *You recall, touching the stone at the Twilight Palace, you could understand the Twili language. Though that one was powered.
  42. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: The skippity fsteakity is this garbled language?
  43. <Hal> Hmm... this appears to be Twili circuitry.
  44. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: No wonder the Poes that told me about this passageway said it was a dead end...
  45. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Err, I mean uhh- eheheh.. it's not like I totally uhh... y'know... led you all here into a dead end, right?
  46. <DM> *Ghost Hunter proceeds to quietly back away into a small shadow in some corner.
  47. * SubconsciousEye eyes the ghost hunter from behind the fourth wall.
  48. <DM> *Gustaf steps forward.
  49. <DM> [Gustaf]: Twili? As in...
  50. <Hal> We saw this in the Twilight Realm
  51. <DM> *PTSD sets in and he gains that 4000 year old stare, rivaling Kirran's PTSD.
  52. <DM> [Gustaf]: ... what?
  53. <DM> *Gustaf is confused for a moment. You hear some good ol' whispers, and then...
  54. <DM> [Gustaf]: Wait... I didn't succeed in blowing it up?! WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW TELLING ME ABOUT THIS! YOU STUPID-
  55. <DM> *Gustaf pounds the magic stone with his fist, and at once, there's an electrical charge of sorts. The gem powers up, and it immediately zaps Gustaf, sending him flying into a wall.
  56. <Hal> We have no idea how long this place has been around for. It likely predates the Hyrulean Civil War from the looks of it.
  57. <DM> *At once, the faint glow in the writing on the wall fully lights up, revealing you all to be in a passageway of Twili design, albeit a bit more primitive than the more structured look you witnessed in the Twilight Realm. It's more organic, built into the rocky cave walls, instead of smooth unclimbable and apparently unbreakable walls.
  58. <DM> *Gustaf gets back up, shaking his head a bit, then looking up at you two. He squints his eyes...
  59. * Hal examines the crystal again, trying to not directly touch it, now that it is powered up.
  60. <DM> *You get closer to examine it, when you feel a magnetic pull. You end up brushing against it, though unlike with Gustaf who got Anakin'd into a wall, you instead feel a jolt through your body, and all of a sudden... you can read the writing on the walls!
  61. * Hal peeled himself off the crystal and intently reads the writing on the walls, keen to find out why this god darn place exists.
  62. <DM> *In summary, it turns out this place was lent to the Sheikah and the Royal Family, as a way to test their skills, particularly their knowledge of magic.
  63. <DM> *It reads...
  64. <DM> "Ahead lies a series of trials, because we know you Sheikah love your trials.
  65. <DM> "Pass at least three of our trials, and you may use this secret passageway to reach the peak.
  66. <DM> "Pass all of our trials, and we shall grant thee with a reward, along with a map of all the secret passageways.
  67. <Kirran> Why am I getting a sudden feeling of existential dread and deja vu at the same time?
  68. <DM> "However, should you fail three trials, well... at that point, you're probably dead anyways, but you'll be stripped of your magic permanently.
  69. <DM> "Five trials lie ahead. If you have what it takes to prove yourselves worthy of our cooperation, then pass at your own peril!
  70. * Hal glances back to Kirran, clearing his throat a little. "Kirran; looks like we have some Shiekah Trials to undergo"
  71. <DM> "Signed: King Xeris of the Twili
  72. <DM> *Your ghosty friend pipes up.
  73. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Not just Sheikah Trials, but Twili Trials! Oooooh scaaaryyyyy!
  74. * Kirran facepalms
  75. <Kirran> I swear, the one thing about being a Shiekah is that finals never ends.
  76. <Hal> Five trials. We need to clear at least three to succeed.
  77. <DM> *Before you, a stone glows on the doorway.
  78. <DM> *Gustaf finally gets his bearings.
  79. <DM> [Gustaf]: What the? Kirran? Hal Hunter? What are you two doing here? Wait... what am I doing here?
  80. <Hal> If we clear all five we get handsomely rewarded but, if we fail three, we lose our magic.
  81. <DM> *He looks down at himself, eyes in shock.
  82. <DM> [Gustaf]: And why in the world am I wearing this armor?!
  83. <Hal> Take it off. Quick.
  84. <DM> [Gustaf]: With pleasure!
  85. <DM> *Gustaf tries to remove it.... but he can't.
  86. <DM> *He's a pretty strong dude too.
  87. <DM> [Gustaf]: Grrr... augh... it won't... come off!
  88. <Hal> (What can I do to lend my strength without making physical contact?)
  89. <DM> [Gustaf]: The darn thing's fused to me!
  90. <DM> (got any ranged physical spells?)
  91. <DM> (err not physical in the sense of non-magic, but something like Roots, for example, wraps someone in Roots)
  92. <Hal> (Got roots)
  93. * Hal casts Roots in attempt to aid Gustaf in removing his armor.
  94. <DM> *Your Roots try to crawl beneath the armor, but he just ends up in more pain.
  95. <DM> [Gustaf]: Wait, stop, you're making it worse!
  96. * Hal stops the Roots
  97. * Hal then aims a Purify at Gustaf to try to lessen the force the armor has on him
  98. <DM> [Gustaf]: *panting* What happened? I could've sworn I was last at the Barracks. Where is this?
  99. <DM> *Your Purify... doesn't do jack crap.
  100. <DM> *Well, he does become a bit more clear-minded.
  101. <DM> [Gustaf]: Huh, I feel relieved now. More relieved than I've been in years. My thanks.
  102. * Kirran explains the situation, including the evil armor.
  103. <Kirran> ...deferentially.
  104. <DM> *After some expositioning...
  105. <DM> [Gustaf]: By the Goddesses, EXPOSITION?!
  106. <DM> [Gustaf]: *sigh* I'm sorry, I... I must've been drawn by the One Ring-
  107. <DM> [Gustaf]: *sigh* I'm sorry, I... I must've been drawn by the Crystalline Armor, and... I don't remember anything after that.
  108. <DM> [Gustaf]: ... I tried to do what to you guys? Handshake with the devil?
  109. <Hal> Well... whatever devil exists in Hyrule.
  110. <DM> (And apparently in the Zelda Universe, the concept of "the devil" exists. I'm... not gonna try to justify or explain this one. Let's just go with it.)
  111. <DM> *Gustaf looks around in confusion, and then at the glowing stone in the door.
  112. <DM> [Gustaf]: The heck is that?
  113. <DM> [Gustaf]: Looks almost Sheikah, but... not.
  114. <Hal> Its a Twili Stone.
  115. <Hal> Touch it and you can read this text on the walls.
  116. <DM> [Gustaf]: Twili? But... wait, how do you-
  117. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Shaddup and touch the stone already!
  118. <DM> *Ghost Hunter barrels into Gustaf, pushing him into the stone. It... doesn't Anakin- send him flying this time, and he finds that he's able to read the text on the walls.
  119. <DM> *Ghost Hunter tries poking the stone as well, but he's zapped by lightning.
  120. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Gah! Douchebag stone!
  121. <DM> *You notice, in the writing, it mentions something along the lines of "Interlopers are not welcome here".
  122. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Whelp, guess I'm not reading any of this garbage. Don't think I can help you folks out with this passage. I'll just watch and judge from afar, numnuts!
  123. * Kirran tries touching the stone, reluctantly.
  124. <DM> *You touch the stone, annnd on top of now being able to read the text, the door before you glows and then dematerializes itself into the floor.
  125. <Kirran> Huh. Imagine that...
  126. <DM> *Up ahead, there's a split path, with signs over each.
  127. <Hal> Sometimes its best to not question logic. I don't think it even holds itself together well these days.
  128. <DM> *To the left is a long passageway with red glowing runes inscribed across the walls. The sign over it reads "Path of Fire". To the right is a door. The sign over that reads "Give up and go to the next path".
  129. <Kirran> That seems a little too nice to be real.
  130. <DM> [Gustaf]: Probably means automatically failing the path.
  131. * Kirran looks on the back of the sign.
  132. <DM> *The back of the sign stares back at you, an endless void that threatens to suck in your soul on an endless loop, just like a loading screen...
  133. * Kirran is not impressed.
  134. <DM> *Next to the Path of Fire, a Gossip Stone pops up from out of the ground!
  135. <Hal> Path of Fire. We need three trials at the very least.
  136. <Kirran> Hey! It's been ages, how are you stone buddy?
  137. <DM> *It glows in the traditional Twili cyan. Its single eye... opens? A mechanical eye peeps out from underneath, and beeps each time it passes over each of you.
  138. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: 1... 2... 3... 4...
  139. <Hal> Four of us? Counting the Ghost Hunter?
  140. <Kirran> Oh, it's one of these...
  141. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Hey, don't count me, douche!
  142. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: Four shall attempt the trials. Beginning depowerment... now.
  143. * Kirran is dissapointed.
  144. <DM> *There's a power revving sound, and all of the cyan glowing symbols turn red. You all feel uhh... well... depowered.
  145. <DM> *Via Spirit Vision on each other, you all notice your Magic has hit a nice ol' zero.
  146. * Kirran is disappointed and powered down.
  147. <DM> *The mechanical eye closes, returning the face of the Gossip Stone back to its usual blank stare.
  148. <DM> *There's a kachink, followed by your friendly Gossip Stone bud piping up.
  149. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say if a Cuccoo cannibalizes another Cuccoo, a void to the netherworld will open up...
  150. <DM> [Raine]: Oooookay, that's creepy, even by my standards, I'm goin' back in the bottle, cheers!
  151. <DM> *Raine shuts herself up into the bottle.
  152. * Hal feels depowered himself, almost feeling the sensation of being punched in the gut and left his magic to die.
  153. <DM> *Hal, although your magic has hit a net of 0, you do notice that you have access to your Fire Magic.
  154. <Kirran> Got anything more useful for me?
  155. <DM> *In fact, it's as if all of your Fire Spells don't cost anything...
  156. <DM> *The Gossip Stone rumbles a bit, makes some clock sounds, then...
  157. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say that this fast travel network links all of Hyrule, but no one has passed all five trials before...
  158. <Hal> Urk... I almost feel powerless. But yet... it feels like something burns inside myself. Rage... passion... I don't know how to put it. But it seems I can use fire.
  159. <DM> *The Gossip Stone suddenly glows a burning red.
  160. <Kirran> 0_0
  161. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: Welcome to the Path of Fire. Here, your Fire Magic is unlocked. Should you pass through this passageway successfully, the door on the other side will open, and you will pass this test.
  162. <DM> *You look at the other side of the 100 ft long passageway with red glowing markings, and you see the door on the other side is... already open?
  163. <Kirran> Well, seems like I'll be useless here. Fire is not my forte. Explosions, yes. Fire by itself, no.
  164. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say that the path ahead is scorched. Only those wearing the mark of fire may pass, lest they be drowned in a sea of flames!
  165. <Hal> The mark of fire...
  166. <DM> *The face of the Gossip Stone is replaced by carving of armor, with the Twili rune symbol for 'Fire' inscribed on it.
  167. <Hal> So we need to find this fire armor
  168. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Welllll Fire's no good for me, I think I'll just scoot through this way-
  169. <Hal> And perhaps unlock its power.
  170. <DM> *Gustaf yanks Ghost Hunter by his cloak, preventing him from escaping through the fail pass.
  171. <DM> [Gustaf]: Oh no you don't. I know your antics, and I know what you're really after. And now that I'm not possessed by that darned God.... wait.
  172. <DM> *He slaps his head a few times.
  173. <DM> [Gustaf]: ... I'm free?
  174. <DM> *Looking around, you don't see any flaming armor.
  175. <Kirran> I mean, I have a Zora Tunic, so maybe if there's a water test, I can at least survive in it.
  176. <Hal> I didn't buy Goron Armor but knowing that this is a trial I don't think they'd allow us to cheap it that easy
  177. <DM> *Gustaf checks out the inscription, then looks down the pathway, scratching his head.
  178. <DM> [Gustaf]: Looks safe to me. I don't see why we don't just walk down the passageway. It's not like it's filled with lava.
  179. <Kirran> You say that, and then about five steps in, it will be.
  180. <DM> *You recall the inscriptions you read a bit earlier - a reminder. This is a test of your magic, not a scavenger hunt for items. Read into the riddle a bit.
  181. <DM> (Even if you don't possess the affinity for the trial, you can pitch an idea or so.)
  182. * Hal casts Cleansing Flames on the armor thing
  183. * Kirran studies the rune to see if it see if it resembles anything else he knows.
  184. <DM> *You cast some soothing cleansing flames on the armor inscription. ... Nothin' happens.
  185. <DM> *Kirran, looking closer at the rune, it kinda looks like lava scorch marks...
  186. <Hal> I think the mark of the flames comes in the form of having some sort of lasting fiery effect
  187. <Hal> Specifically on our armor.
  188. <DM> *Though you know that simply stepping in lava wouldn't cause that...
  189. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Ooh, I got an idea! I'm a Poe! I can just float to the other side-
  190. <DM> [Gustaf]: *yanks* Yeah, let's not, you darned rascal.
  191. * Hal looks at the lava scorch marks...
  192. <Hal> I don't suppose we have Lava Beam
  193. <Kirran> I have a shield that can cover itself in lava.
  194. <Kirran> Though I get the impression it's looking for something a little more abstract.
  195. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: *gasping for breath* Got a spell scroll- ack, that's my neck, you scruffy nerfherder!
  196. <Hal> I'm thinking it has to do with our armor. Maybe putting our armor in flames
  197. <DM> [Gustaf]: Lava Beam? You wanna hit someone with Lava Beam?
  198. <DM> *The lava scorch marks do indeed look like they could be caused by a fine-grain Lava Beam...
  199. * Hal takes one of his scrolls and learns Lava Beam. Followed with... sigh... aiming a Lava beam on himself.
  200. <DM> *Roll it!
  201. <Hal> $31d10
  202. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 31 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 4, 6, 6, 3, 8, 9, 3, 9, 1, 7, 4, 1, 6, 10, 10, 1, 7, 9, 2, 2, 8, 7, 8, 9, 6, 5, 6, 10, 4 and 9. Total: 183. Successes: 23.
  203. <Hal> $25d10 partial roll
  204. <Navi> Hal: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 7, 5, 8, 10, 2, 7, 3, 1, 8, 9, 4, 9, 5, 3, 8, 6, 10, 7, 7, 2, 4, 4, 9 and 3. Total: 144. Successes: 17.
  205. <DM> *You fire a Lava Beam straight at yourself, and uhh... well... the results are as uhh...
  206. * Hal should take no damage
  207. <DM> *Your Lava Beam makes some scorch marks on your armor alright, but uhh... they look less like a rune and more like someone took a lightsaber and just scribbled into a wall.
  208. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: *snort*
  209. <DM> [Gustaf]: Hey. Aim that at me. I've got the toughest armor of all of us.
  210. * Hal aims a Lava Beam at Gustaf, looking to delicately manipulate it to form into a shape of the Twili Fire sign
  211. * Kirran watches all this with mild amusement.
  212. <DM> *Gustaf does not roll, and takes the beam. You don't seem him grimace at it.
  213. <DM> [Gustaf]: Heh, it's like a Goron takin' a lava bath. I suddenly envy those fellas...
  214. <Hal> You don't say.
  215. <DM> *You finally finish, and lo and behold, the Twili Fire sign is inscribed on the Crystalline Armor! Well, for now. It seems to have some self-healing properties. You're not sure how long it'll last...
  216. <DM> [Gustaf]: Uhh...
  217. * Kirran jots down the symbol on a piece of paper and affixes it to his armor.
  218. <Kirran> It's worth a try.
  219. <DM> *Kirran, despite not having Fire Affinity, as it turns out... your armor starts glowing!
  220. * Hal looks over to Kirran and does the same to his armor.
  221. <DM> [Gustaf]: It's always the simplest solutions...
  222. <DM> *Would you like to try crossing the path?
  223. * Hal then writes the same symbol on another piece of paper and affixes it to the Ghost Hunter
  224. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Hey. Watch the robes, pal. I've got very sensitive cloth.
  225. <DM> [Gustaf]: Well, I think I'd better get running!
  226. <DM> *Gustaf runs on in!
  227. <Hal> (are our armors glowing?)
  228. <DM> *Yes, your armors are glowing, and now Ghost Hunter is glowing.
  229. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Ahh... AHHHHH!
  230. <Hal> Run!
  231. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: TOO MUCH LIGHT! IT'S INSIDE ME! IT BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNS!
  232. * Hal dashes with Gustaf.
  233. * Hal remembering to drag Ghost Hunter along
  234. <DM> *Ghost Hunter proceeds to screech past you all, zipping by at a scary speed...
  235. * Kirran heads off down the path.
  236. <DM> *Seems he reeeeeeeaaaaaally hates bright light.
  237. <DM> *You all run across the path, and although it's hot, it's not burning you. You reach the other side, where the Gossip Stone reappears. It scans you all with the mechanical eye again.
  238. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: DING DING DING DING! 4 out of 4 have passed! A note, only one of needs to pass all five trials in order to gain the ultimate reward.
  239. <DM> *The burning Gossip Stone drops into the floor, and ahead of you is another split path.
  240. <Hal> (brb)
  241. <DM> *Same as before, except instead of a Path of Fire, there's now a Path of Water, with blue glowing runes around the walls. Hal, your Fire Magic whimpers out to a zero, but your Water Magic returns in spades!
  242. <DM> *This path doesn't have ground, but instead, it's water, so Mr. Blue Tunic, rejoice, you get to go swimming!
  243. <DM> *Also, all four of you stop glowing.
  244. <Kirran> Oh joyous day!
  245. * Kirran removes the fire tag, and stores it away somewhere for later.
  246. <DM> *A new Gossip Stone pops up out of the ground, this one drenched in self-contained pool of water. Not held by glass. Just... floating in a thin veil around it.
  247. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say the river ahead is poisoned. Break your breath, and ye shall break your life.
  248. <DM> *And just like before, the door on the other side is already opened. Weird.
  249. <Kirran> If Aquatic Ambience starts playing, I'm outta here.
  250. <DM> *Ghost Hunter would try to whistle it, but he's still in freakout mode from glowing.
  251. <DM> [Gustaf]: The heck? Did someone already clear these trials?
  252. <Kirran> It's possible. Clearly not all of them, since the stones don't lie.
  253. <Kirran> Well, most of the time anyways.
  254. <Kirran> >_>
  255. <DM> *Gustaf stares at the poisoned water.
  256. <DM> [Gustaf]: I wonder... how deep that goes...
  257. <DM> *He looks down at his armor, then back at the water...
  258. <DM> [Gustaf]: I'm finally free of that voice in my head, but for how long? And I can't remove this armor...
  259. <Kirran> Lord Gustaf, do you remember anything I told you while you were under the influence of that armor?
  260. <DM> *He tries to remember...
  261. <DM> [Gustaf]: ... yes. Something... you said I have a commitment still. To... to Hyrule, and... my family...
  262. <Kirran> Not just that, but also that Zelda's greatest wish at the moment is to see you safely returned to Hyrule Castle at the end of all this.
  263. <DM> [Gustaf]: But...
  264. <Hal> (back)
  265. <DM> [Gustaf]: What if I'm not me again?
  266. <Kirran> We'll do the best we can on that end.
  267. * Hal let the words of the Gossip stone echo within his head. "The river ahead is poisoned. Break your breath, and ye shall break your life"
  268. <Kirran> Hey Hal, I'm thinking taking a dip would be a bad idea.
  269. <Hal> That seems to mean we must keep breathing throughout this whole ordeal.
  270. <DM> *He puts his arms on your shoulder, a look of desperation and fear on his face. You... don't feel the Fierce Deity influence. Seems whatever is in this cave is muting Fierce Deity.
  271. <DM> [Gustaf]: Look, I'm... I've never been the greatest to Zelda. I'm not exactly her most pristine uncle, and I was a horrible brother to the king after... after the... the war... the Twilight... the.... the war...
  272. <DM> [Gustaf]: It's gone. It's all gone. I killed them. I killed them all... I don't deserve to go back. Just... just let me do this, I can save Hyrule!
  273. <Kirran> Hey. Hey! Stay with me here. Killed who?
  274. * Hal fires an Ice Blast at the river!
  275. <DM> [Gustaf]: The Interlopers. The Twili. All of them... ALL OF THEEEEEEEM!
  276. <Kirran> I can tell you with 100% certainty that that is not true.
  277. <DM> *He tries to jump into the river, only to find it's been frozen over. His head thunks the ice, knocking him out briefly.
  278. <DM> *Congratulations Hal, you circumvented the puzzle!
  279. * Kirran sighs and picks him up away from the water.
  280. <DM> *Ghost Hunter finally calms down and looks over to the path of... ice.
  281. <DM> *Whelp, so much for your Blue Tunic.
  282. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Huh, this one's real easy.
  283. <Hal> That was easy...
  284. <DM> *Ghost Hunter proceeds to float on over the icy waters of ice.
  285. <DM> *Nothing seems to happen as he floats by.
  286. * Hal skates across the frozen water.
  287. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Well, I'm not dying...
  288. <DM> *You all get across the ice, your friendly neighborhood Gossip Stone gives you the victory speech, annnnnd another the next path. The Path of Nature!
  289. * Kirran drags Gustaf across.
  290. <DM> *As usual, your Water Magic sputters to zero and now Nature Magic works!
  291. <DM> *Instead of a path, it's more like a steep slope. Climbing it shouldn't be too difficult.
  292. <Kirran> You know, I'm thinking if there's a trial of darkness, it's just going to be Darte challenging me to philosophy debates.
  293. <Hal> Lets take the path of nature.
  294. <DM> *You see, at the top of the slope, there is actually a door this time. Annnd it looks damaged, like someone tried to force their way through it.
  295. <DM> *A new Gossip Stone appears, covered in flowers.
  296. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say the quakes will make you tremble to your bones. Only he who cannot walk will find his way.
  297. <DM> *Gustaf wakes back up.
  298. <Hal> So great our bones break if we climb up
  299. <DM> [Gustaf]: Gah, that was a nasty bump... wait a minute...
  300. <DM> *He looks up at the slope, then back behind him to the ice.
  301. <DM> [Gustaf]: Where'd that water go...
  302. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Hmm, y'know...
  303. <Kirran> Gustaf, you need to know, you didn't commit genocide. The Twili are their usual grumpy selves. And the interlopers are...well, not all dead, but we certainly thinned their numbers.
  304. <Hal> He who cannot walk... Sounds like its time to shoot ourselves up. Just as long as we don't as we don't end up plastered across the wall.
  305. <DM> *Ghost Hunter floats up the slope. You see the slope start to shake and vibrate, though since Ghost Hunter isn't touching the ground and just... casually floating on up, he makes it to the end.
  306. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Hah! Made it, suckers! Nyeeeeeh!
  307. <Kirran> That is cheating.
  308. <DM> [Gustaf]: The Twili... they lived?
  309. <DM> [Gustaf]: I didn't kill an innocent race?
  310. <Hal> Much of the realm was destroyed but the Twili still live on.
  311. <Kirran> None too happy about it, but ulimately, willing to help us after an intense battle.
  312. <DM> [Gustaf]: I... I didn't kill them. I didn't kill them.
  313. <DM> *There's a long pause.
  314. <DM> [Gustaf]: I DIDN'T KILL THEM! YES!
  315. <Kirran> 0_o
  316. * Hal readies a Wind Torrent. "Kirran, Gustaf. Wanna go for an air ride?"
  317. * Kirran readies his teleport, just in case Hal's aim is off.
  318. <DM> *Hal, you see a Kirby zip by on a shooting star briefly. You blink a few times, and it was all in your head...
  319. <DM> *Kirran, you try to ready your teleport, but you notice your Cane is depowered.
  320. <DM> [Gustaf]: Yeah... YEAH, I'LL GO FOR A RIDE! IT'S THE TIME OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!
  321. <Kirran> Well shit...
  322. <DM> [Gustaf]: I'M NOT A GENOCIDAL MANIAC! I'M ALIVE!
  323. * Hal fires an Air Torrent at... who first.
  324. <DM> [Gustaf]: LET'S GOOOOOOO!
  325. <Hal> $1d2
  326. <Navi> Hal: You flipped 1 coin. Result: Tails.
  327. * Hal holds off for a brief moment
  328. * Hal looks at the hill to see how high it goes
  329. <DM> *Gustaf took you up on your air ride offer and has already made a leap of faith.
  330. * Hal goes for the Wind Torrent anyway...
  331. <DM> *It's about... 70 feet.
  332. * Hal uses the Wind Torrent to push Gustaf back to solid land
  333. <DM> *Your wind torrent pushes Gustaf upwards- I mean downwards, pulling him back towards you.
  334. <DM> [Gustaf]: YEAH LET'S GOOOOO- wait, why am I back here.
  335. <Hal> I think the better idea would be to suspend ourselves on roots.
  336. <DM> [Gustaf]: ... what?
  337. <Hal> Plant roots hold the soil together, it should be resistant to the quaking that goes on here.
  338. <Hal> Roots cannot walk, but they can grow.
  339. <DM> *He stares blankly at you.
  340. <DM> [Gustaf]: Yer a looney.
  341. <DM> *Wanna try it, Hal?
  342. * Hal uses Roots to slowly creep himself up the hill, not walking at all as per the Gossip Stone's words.
  343. <DM> *You creepily ascend the hill via mother nature's ropey spider legs.
  344. <Kirran> Man, that's going in my list of weird things I've seen.
  345. <DM> *You feel the slope quake beneath you, but the roots absorb the shock.
  346. <DM> *Looks like your theory is solid!
  347. <DM> [Gustaf]: Hey Hal, do me a favor. Get halfway up and stop for a moment, will ya?
  348. <DM> *He pulls out a Hookshot.
  349. <Hal> Honored
  350. <DM> [Gustaf]: I think our little ghost friend deserves to get shot.
  351. * Hal stops halfway up the hill as he continues to channel, adding more roots to the rooty platform.
  352. <DM> *You honor yourself with being hookshot target number one.
  353. <DM> *Gustaf aims up and hookshots to you! The slope quakes again, but once more, the roots absorb it. Gustaf then aims at Ghost Hunter's back, and pulls the trigger again! It lands true, and Gustaf gets pulled to the top, along with the shrieking pain of Ghost Hunter.
  354. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: AHHH WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT MY CLOTH, IT'S SENSITIVE YOU BACKSTABBING BACKSTABBER!
  355. * Kirran pulls himself up the roots using only his hands.
  356. <DM> *You pull yourself up, and now that you're with Hal, both of you are in Hookshot range of... well, choose your poison, got a fleshy looking Ghost Hunter and a "I'm not a genocidal maniac" Gustaf.
  357. <Kirran> Hey Gustaf, catch!
  358. <DM> *He turns around with a quizzically raised eyebrow.
  359. * Kirran fires a hookshot at him.
  360. <DM> *He instinctively raises his hand, and you hookshot over his hand. You've reached the top!
  361. * Hal hookshots to Kirran after he hookshots the not-a-genocidal-maniac. Remembering that clawshots don't pull him towards people
  362. <DM> *You decide not to ruin your progress with a clawshot (awww) and instead reach the top. However, before you can proceed further, Ghost Hunter, who you figured would still be quipping on about being used as a hookshot target, is eerily quiet.
  363. <DM> *He's looking at the damage on the door, inspecting it.
  364. <Kirran> Any ideas?
  365. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Oooh... this explains a few things, if this is what I think this is...
  366. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Hey Gusty, still ready to drown yourself down here? Cause I'm thinkin' maaaaaybe that would actually be the worst idea.
  367. <DM> [Gustaf]: Well, not anymore, but... what's up?
  368. <DM> *Ghost Hunter grabs a speck of... something, and holds it up to you all.
  369. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Looks familiar?
  370. <DM> *Inspecting the speck and expecting an inspector to explain the speck of insight, you look at the... tealish dust.
  371. <DM> *Huh... you've seen this before. And these damage patterns look like they're from a sword beam...
  372. <Hal> Wait a moment... How'd you get a fragment of the Twilight Realm?
  373. * Hal inspects the damage on the door.
  374. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: I didn't. But I got a hunch who's gone through these trials before us.
  375. <Hal> ...Bloodwind's been here.
  376. <DM> *The damage on the door is indeed consistent with your ol' stalker pal.
  377. <Kirran> Oh for the love of...we can't go anywhere without that guy showing up.
  378. <Hal> That would be how Bloodwind was able to get around Hyrule undetected.
  379. <Hal> Either that... or... Oh no...
  380. <DM> [Gustaf]: Wait, Bloodwind? Isn't he fused with an Interloper? How in the heck is he able to get through these trials?
  381. <Kirran> I stopped asking that about the third or fourth time he showed up somewhere he shouldn't have been able to be.
  382. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Beats me. But if he's used these passages before... we gotta go. Now.
  383. <Hal> You were fused with the Fierce Deity and the gem knocked you back the first time you touched it.
  384. <Hal> The second time you touched it you were fine
  385. * Hal whispers to Kirran.
  386. <DM> [Gustaf]: Huh... guess so.
  387. <DM> [Gustaf]: Well then, let's proceed, shall we?
  388. <DM> *Gustaf touches the door, annnnd it dissipates into the ground! The Nature Gossip Stone congratulates you, annnd onto the next trial: Path of Light!
  389. <DM> *A somewhat bright-to-look-at Gossip Stone greets you, and Ghost Hunter notably cries in pain and hides in a corner.
  390. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: Congratulations, your first reward has been unlocked. You may now ascend to the peak. Or, you can try to solve the other two trials.
  391. <DM> *Looking down the path- OH GOD IT'S BRIGHT! You don't see the other end of the path, cause holy brightballs it's like looking at the sun.
  392. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say the path of light is too bright for the eye, but clear for the mind's eye.
  393. <DM> [Gustaf]: Y'know, I feel like we should just take the reward, but... part of me wants to complete these trials and one-up that darned Bloodwind. He clearly missed a trial or so.
  394. <DM> [Gustaf]: ... Kirran? Hal?
  395. <DM> *He looks back to see you two whispering in secret.
  396. * Hal looks over to the trial
  397. <DM> *You look at the trial and- OH GOD IT BURNS! You instinctively look away.
  398. <Kirran> Hey Hal, hit me with enlightenment.
  399. <Hal> With pleasure.
  400. <DM> *Kirran, you notice you can access your Light Spells as well!
  401. * Hal casts Enlighten onto Kirran
  402. <DM> *Kirran, you are now Enlightened. It's still painful, but you can now look into the light. You don't see anything though, it's still just light.
  403. <DM> [Gustaf]: Let me help with that.
  404. * Kirran snaps his fingers.
  405. <DM> *Gustaf casts Enlighten on Kirran, stacking it!
  406. * Hal does the same to himself, enlightening himself and his mind
  407. <Kirran> What if we bend the light around something?
  408. <DM> *Looking into the light is no longer painful, but again, still can't see past the light.
  409. <Hal> (quick brb)
  410. <DM> [Gustaf]: Bend the light?
  411. * Kirran casts illusion of invisibility on his shield and holds it up.
  412. <DM> (hold on, I'm trying to comprehend how this works, gimme a moment)
  413. <Hal> (the way visibility works is your eyes pick up light particles)
  414. <Kirran> (I've made the shield invisible, so I can see through it. But the spell says "light bends around the object"
  415. <Kirran> )
  416. <DM> (bro I am not about to try and actually scientifically bullcrap this)
  417. <DM> (I'd like to keep my sanity intact, thank you)
  418. <Kirran> (Would you rather I dodge the light? Because that makes even less sense.)
  419. <Kirran> (But you know I could.)
  420. <DM> *Kirran, you hold up your invisible shield, and looking through it into the light, you can see through to the other side! The door is closed, so it looks like Bloodwind never pulled this one off. Probably something along the lines of "it's too bright".
  421. <DM> (-_-)
  422. <DM> *With your invisible shield bending the light and acting like a lens that shows the truth... wait...
  423. <Kirran> $1d3
  424. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2.
  425. <Kirran> (Worth a try)
  426. <DM> *You see that the path ahead is a maze, but thanks to your makeshift Lens of Truth- err Shield of Truth, you can see the path clearly.
  427. <Kirran> Well, onwards then.
  428. * Hal takes his robe off and casts an Illusion of Invisibility on it. He looks through it to see if he can see the door.
  429. <DM> *You carefully sneak on over to the other side, and wah-lah, you made it! Hal, you do the same.
  430. * Hal looks over to Gustaf and Poe Hunter
  431. <DM> *Gustaf, also being a practitioner of Light Magic, follows up and does the same, using his lance as a pinpoint avenue to get across. Somehow... it works. Seems his years of experience get him across.
  432. <DM> *As for Ghost Hunter, he's already stepped pass the fail line.
  433. <DM> *The Gossip Stone of Light recognizes you three have passed, and opens the door. There on the other side, you find a Ghost Hunter, who's now giddy... with Shadow Magic!
  434. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: YES, A PUZZLE WHERE I CAN DO STUFF!
  435. <DM> *The Path of Shadows appears, and everyone can now use Shadow Magic! Except Gustaf, he doesn't have any.
  436. <DM> *A Gossip Stone enshrouded in shadows appears. If not for dark vision, you wouldn't be able to see it...
  437. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: The floaty one has been discounted from the party and may not pass the final trial. Shoo.
  438. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: Wait wha-
  439. <DM> *Ghost Hunter is whirled into the last fail split path.
  440. <DM> [Ghost Hunter]: AYIIIIIIEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee-
  441. <DM> [Gustaf]: Oh good riddance.
  442. <DM> *Down the Path of Shadows, it looks like... a path to the other side. The door here is already opened, so it looks like this was the third trial that Bloodwind already completed.
  443. <DM> *Nothing looks off about this path. It's not even covered in darkness.
  444. <DM> [Gossip Stone]: They say the passageway has no end for those who can comprehend it.
  445. <DM> *The Gossip Stone then slumps into the ground, and it's switched out for... a gravestone?
  446. * Hal looked over to the passageway and slumped, sighing.
  447. <Hal> It's gonna be this endless hallway sthick
  448. <Kirran> Well, I heard once that if you jump backwards fast enough, you can actually travel quicker than the magic can refresh.
  449. * DM turns his head slowly, looks at Kirran, then at Mario.
  450. <DM> Try it.
  451. <DM> I dare you.
  452. <DM> *The further you stare down the hallway, the more that you realize... yeah, it really looks like it doesn't end.
  453. <DM> [Gustaf]: What's with the gravestone?
  454. <Hal> The what? Something tells me we need to order a new reality. One with hookshots and Uno
  455. <Kirran> I feel like Darte is down there somewhere, taunting me.
  456. <DM> *Somewhere at the end of that corridor, you see a darteboard, slowly spinning with Darte's corpse giving it perpetual energy.
  457. <Hal> Who knows, its not like-
  458. * Kirran casts repression on himself about the idea that the corridor is endless.
  459. * Hal conjures up the mental image of Zoidberg after recalling the moment Darte fell into his own shadow according to Dex.
  460. <DM> can you copy+pasta repression real fast
  461. <Kirran> Attack a target’s mind directly through telepathy, attempting to compromise it by extracting memories that the target tries to repress.
  462. <Kirran> EFFECT: Bonus Attack Dice & Defense Dice are disabled for both the attacker and the defender in this attack.
  463. <Kirran> Roll your Wisdom +8 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  464. <Kirran> Neutral Damage: 4
  465. <Kirran> EFFECT: Temporary steal one Spell from the target to you.
  466. <Kirran> You can cast that Spell regardless of its RESTRICTIONS.
  467. <Kirran> DURATION: At the end of the battle, the Spell is returned to the target.
  468. <Kirran> (I may be using it in a more support oriented way as opposed to offensive)
  469. <DM> *You extract memories of how endless halls work. However, since you're looking at an endless hall, it... wait... but then the memories get repressed, but it's a loop, but it's...
  470. <DM> .......
  471. * DM takes 4 Neutral Damage as his head bleeds.
  472. <DM> *Kirran, you wobble your way over to the other side and you make it. Congrats.
  473. * Hal doesn't have access to that spell
  474. <DM> [Gustaf]: The heck did I just watch?
  475. <Kirran> Paradoxallamabadaway.
  476. * Kirran slaps himself to snap out ofit.
  477. <DM> [Gustaf]: Para-what?
  478. <Hal> Oh wait.
  479. <Hal> First, you must repress the memories of this hall being ... endless
  480. <DM> *You slap yourself out of your repression, and now from it looks like Hal and Gustaf are miles away from you. However, you are right next to the exit. Perhaps it'd be best if you don't move...
  481. <DM> [Gustaf]: Hang on, he doesn't look that far away.
  482. <Kirran> I feel like a small dog in Arizona.
  483. <DM> *Gustaf pulls out his Hookshot and aims at Kirran.
  484. <DM> [Gustaf]: Hey Kirran, catch!
  485. * Hal aims a Repression at Gustaf, aimed at the memories of this hallway being endless
  486. <Kirran> $1d3
  487. <Navi> Kirran: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 3.
  488. * Kirran catches the hookshot anyways after dodging it.
  489. <DM> *Gustaf fires! Annnd you're just in time Hal!
  490. <DM> *Gustaf hookshots over to Kirran, who dodged the hookshot, and then regrabbed it in the same instant, thus creating a paradox on top of the existing paradox of repressing the memories you're gaining by existing in the same space as the memories you're gaining and repressing and-
  491. <DM> *Screw it.
  492. * Kirran eats a hamburger
  493. <DM> *The hallway has an aneurism and breaks. It's now a normal Halway.
  494. * Hal then finally casts Repression on himself as he backflips into the hallway, looking to repress the memories of the hallway being endless and drunkenly dashes across.
  495. <DM> wait no, DON'T MAKE IT RECURSIVE-
  496. <Hal> (Is it really going to be recursive?)
  497. <DM> *Right as the hallway becomes a Halway, Hal, with his new way, pulls yet another Repression into a paradoxical side quest about repressing the memories of repression in a normal Halway, but that was during the years of the Great Repression. Now that the recursion has passed, it has become eternal.
  498. * Kirran becomes reluctant of the plot.
  499. <DM> *You reached the other side, but is it really the other side, or is it just the side that you just came off of? You don't know, because you repressed it, but that repression doesn't exist, for it is a hamburger. I hand you a hotdog, but as you try to eat it, the taste just ends up-
  500. <DM> -=LOADING=-
  501. <DM> -=LOADING=-
  502. <DM> -=SESSION END=-
  503. <DM> CONGRATULATIONS HAL
  504. <DM> YOU BECAME A LOADING SCREEN AND SUMMONED CUIL THEORY INCARNATE
  505. <DM> WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE
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