I split this into sections just because organisation is cool

Section 1: Thanku
Thank you Pagan, for being in my life. Before I knew you I was completely lonely. I only really had one person I spoke to properly. As soon as we started talking properly I was so much happier. All the little jokes we made and have with each other make everything so much better. Just having someone to talk to everyday was enough to keep me going. Even when the really bad times started, it was nice to know there was at least one person there for me. I can't thank you enough for what you did to me and I could show you how much I truly appreciate it. You are honestly the best person I've ever had in my life. No one has ever cared about me like you have.

Section 2: Prolly cringy shit
You already know what I feel for you but I want to explain it a little more here. I've never really been shown any kind of affection in my life. I've never been close to anyone, never had a relationship and no one has ever really cared about me. Then you came into my life. You actually caring about me and actually being close to me just made my feelings go wild. I'd never had anything like it before and I couldn't help but form feelings for you. I knew your situation and I hated myself for it and still do. These feelings constantly make me think of stupid situations and conversations that will never happen and are one constant source of sadness for me. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of them but other times I don't because I remember how amazing you are. I love you too much. I'm sorry for these feelings.

Section 3: Complainy stuff
I feel really bad about talking about this but I need to get it off my chest. It could be due to my head being a mess right now and just making me paranoid but I still need to say it. Sometimes I feel like you don't want to talk to me. I mostly thing about it whenever I say I'm sad or complain about something. I can understand if you are doing this purposefully because I am really hard to help and I know I am really annoying. If it is on purpose I'd rather you just told me. I know there are other people that are probably more important and I understand that you do get busy and I'm really sorry if it isn't on purpose but I just had to vent this. It builds up inside me and makes me do really bad things which this probably won't stop. I'm sorry again.


I'm sorry for having to write all of this but I just really needed to vent it. You're the only person I can actually share my feelings with. I have no other friends and I can never talk to my family about my feelings. I'm really sorry. I love you.