dangledoom

You are Dangledoom, a squire living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a spear
 and a pack of supplies. You follow Sir Theo as he enters the forest, he turns
 to you and says "I need your help"
> bend over to show turtleheading anus and ask Theo to pop it

You bend over to show turtlehead **** and say "Please Theo, I can't do this anymore".
Theo laughs and says
> "that is life, Dangledoom"

 and starts popping your ***.
Your butt pops like a balloon, but Theo keeps going until his **** is inside
 you. He begins to pump it with his hands and then grabs your head and begins
 to **** you hard
> moan loudly in euphoria

You scream loud as you feel Theo's **** filling you up. Then he pulls out and
 spits on your face.
He looks at you and smiles and says
> "I want you to point your asshole straight up into the air."


You nod and he does so.
Then he goes back to pumping your ***.
You say "That was fun, but now it gets better!"
You begin to move your hips and he begins to thrust harder.
You start moaning louder and louder and then suddenly you ***
> bend over and pull down my pants as the guests stare, their mouths agape. With a loud determined moan I get to work. The ring slowly pops as I birth a 2 foot long python made of brightly colored silicon.

You grab Theo by the hand and walk him towards the ring.
You push Theo forward and he walks right into the ring.
As the crowd watches, you lay your *** out and let Theo insert his **** into
 you.
You moan loudly as you feel Theo's  filling you up
> The ring slowly pops as I birth a 2 foot long chocolate python with corn fangs

You stand up and put your arms behind your head and start moving them back and
 forth. As the ring slowly pops, you give Theo a kiss and say "Now we go for
 the gold!"
You push Theo forward and he walks right into the ring
> suplex Theo

You grab Theo by the throat and throw him against the wall. You take his legs
 out from under him and slam him into the wall.
You quickly turn around and grab Theo's  and shove it deep into your ***.
You grunt loudly as you feel Theo's  filling you up
> break Theo's neck

You grab Theo's neck and wrench it backwards. His body falls backward and hits
 the ground.
You look at Theo's lifeless body and say "Well that was fun, but now it gets
 even more fun!"
You continue to **** Theo while you watch the ring slowly pop
> continue having sex with Theo

You continue having sex with Theo and soon the ring pops completely.
You moan loudly as you feel Theo's  filling you up
> throw your head back and scream like you are having your guts rearranged by a torturer as your ejaculate

You yell like you are having your guts rearranged by a torturer and release a
 jet of ***** all over Theo's chest.
You laugh loudly as you see Theo's body disappear into the ring
> go home

You leave the ring and walk away from it. You don't know where you are or what
 happened. You just remember being happy and feeling good.
You think about how much you love Theo and how much you miss him
> smash a baby deer's skull with a rock in rage

You pick up a stone and smash it against the skull of a baby deer. It crumples
 and dies instantly.
You run off and hide in some bushes. You hear screams and laughter coming from
 outside. Someone has killed a baby deer!
You run to the door and open it
> laugh at the dead deer

You laugh and say "What a joke, it was only a baby one, there is no way it could
 kill me".
You smile and say "It would be funny if it didn't make me sick".
You run out of the woods and back to the village
> go home and make dinner

You return to the house and eat dinner. You sit down and enjoy your meal. You
 finish eating and fall asleep.
In the morning you wake up and realize you forgot to wash up before leaving the
 forest. You try to brush yourself off, but you still smell bad
> mask the scent with exotic perfumes

You quickly cover your scent with exotic perfumes. You are able to pass through
 the guards without them noticing.
> recover the dead deer's body

You recover the dead deer's body and bury it in the nearby forest. You keep the
 trail of blood leading to the spot where you buried it.
> pray to your god Guru for wealth and power for the sacrifice

You pray to your god Guru for money and power for the sacrifice. You tell him
 you will pay him later when you have enough money.
> collect taxes from people

You collect taxes from people who live near the forest. You tell them they should
 not complain about the smell anymore. They thank you and agree to help you.
> lead an armed attack on a bandit camp to loot

You lead an attack on a bandit camp to loot everything they have. You rob them
 blind and leave them in the wilderness. You spend the rest of the day drinking
 beer and watching TV.
> rip pubic hairs out one by one

>You rip out two by two.
You three by four.
>The pubi