This girl I mentioned previously -let's call her Gina- was kind of an outlier, and me being in a marching band with only sophomores and up, so was I. She was a freshman too, so we could have something in common, right? Welp, through the first week of this 2 week long pre-school season thing called "band camp", I never talked to her until I ran over her foot during a set and her yelling "watch where you're fucking going" in a sour tone, and me, as snarky and quick as I was, I replied "yeah, lemme just grow eyes on the back of my head and just stare ya down...". The sect around us laughed, except for her. She just gave me a dirty look and turned away. Me, trying to hold back laughter, I gave her a beaming smile. I think she remembered that or something, because she ended up talking to me during a lunch break. we ended up talking a ton about school, marching band, ourselves, our frustrations, etc. She sounded like she cared, which is apparently a lot to ask for in my school, because that kinda of thing is hard to come by. she had a sense of humor, a seemingly good grasp on reality, and is down to earth, but she was pretty emotionally driven to the point of looking like mem on a bad day at times. she is not someone I would date, but someone I would love to hang out with. The end of the day is when I gave her my jacket when it was cold outside and she forgot hers at home. we snuggled for warmth in the cold until my mom came, and me being a kind soul, I let her have my jacket until tomorrow. I didn't see it as some kind of gesture that meant that I secretly wanted to date her, but she took it as one. we became very close friends through the first month of band camp and school, and we ended up making plans to see each other through the school day. we exchanged numbers, I met her friends who were very chill beings, she met my like 4 friends at the time, our friendship was very strong. around october is when I realized her emotional drive, because she would text me crying about her friend drama that wouldn't go away. I talked with the friend, and he said that he didn't even do anything. all he did was jokingly called her a faggot. he then sent me a screenshot of the convo before she went insane, and we was right, all he did was call her a faggot. I then talk to gina, and tried to calm her down, only to have her yell at me for not crying about literally nothing with her. she wouldn't talk to me for days on end, and it drove me insane. she just wouldn't talk to me, but she would talk about me to other people when I wasn't there. she would talk about me behind my back, calling me a nazi. for what? I don't even know, but that spread throughout the whole school. I got borderline bullied for it, but I didn't really take it as bullying as I would just laugh along with them because I genuinely thought it was funny. twas a joke, but it went too far when my backpack was stolen, later found empty with a note inside that read "nazis dont get love here". there was a sect that genuinely thought I was a nazi. this made going to school painful, as stuff like this would sprinkle throughout the whole next day. it was hellish, though a day after the backpack incident, she texted me. she was thoroughly apologetic and (but wasn't admitting her faults, which I found very), asking for our friendship to be back to the way it was. I wanted it back too, so I accepted. and everything about me being a nazi stopped very suddenly. a little... too suddenly. I kinda brushed it off after a while, but I didn't really think much of it after a mini panic attack or 2. the next few weeks of november was when she became, let's say, clingy. it was kind of an exponential growth, where the first week was ok, then the 2nd week was less ok, 3rd; much less ok; and finally 4th just impossible to go through. she demanded cuddles during marching band. she would never ever let me go a day without some kind of break. I hated every minute of it. I wanted her to leave me alone. i'd imply a expression of this frustration to her, and she'd go off. she would drag me into a corner for a quiet little talk, and fucking talk herself down until it would force me to be apologetic. one thing I remember was when she said she was called "sasquatch" by 2 people in her lifetime because of her arm hair, and she would not let it go. she acted like she would be bullied every day for hours on end, overplaying it to the point where if you were not to feel any sympathy towards her, it would be heavily morally corrupt. she would always complain about her not feeling like she matters, and her feeling like that if she would disappear, it wouldn't make an impact. this got to me hard, because I truthfully thought that if she were to disappear, I would not feel anything but relief. I would beat myself up so harshly for this, screaming "**NO, STOP! YOU'RE JUST AN ASSHOLE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO BULLIES HER! STOP DISLIKING HER AND DEAL WITH IT!!**". this is the mindset of someone who is an abusive relationship, as I later learned. this would go on and on, dragging for weeks and weeks to the point where the 4th week of november I ended up skipping the 2nd half of just to get away from her. it was a horrible time to be alive. I was walking down the hall with her one day when she hit me in the arm (which was also pretty common of her to do) after telling her an edgy joke, and then another one because her reaction was funny, and finally another one about her not being pretty. she repeatedly hit me, and I pushed her back, which was a horrid mistake, because she started crying. everyone around me were calling me out for hitting a girl, which right then and there is when I saw this victim privilege really stick into my mind like no other. she spread this with all of the usual overplay and victimhood mentality, and called for one of her friends to throw a backpack at me. I tried to report it, but I advised against it since it was a one time incident, and I did not see her face. another one of gina's friends asked me about what was going on, and she pestered me on and on for a day and a half until she told me that she was going to tell gina about -something, I forget atm-. so I told her everything I could ravage up about the situation in a text. I told her specifically to not tell her about anything. she said she wouldn't, but in present day, she is called two face for reasons you can probably guess. gina played the silent game again, but this time, it was harsher. she got more people into it, and it lasted for 3 whole months. there was an influx of new kids from a broken down school that she knew, and she proceeded to tell people to hate me. I lost so many friends in this blackout of any kind of affection that I could safely and surely say that I had no friends. I started to hate myself. I lost sleep, I lost connection to my only large friend group that I ever had at the time, I lost myself, and I was losing my mind. depression hit me harder than a freight train named suicide fairways that was late to a delivery. I wanted something to work on that wasn't school, so I went to youtube and made content, and you probably know that story so i'm not going to get into it at all. I strayed away from school. it was causing me too much pain to care about it, and because it was so widespread that it would be impossible for a 3rd party to ever help in calming it down. trust me when I said that I tried to get a higher up involved, but to no avail. I laid low until it passed through the whole year, getting enough work done to pass with Cs, and pushing my Youtube channel to it’s limits. There was nothing about 9th grade that i remember after marching band because I never had the heart to actually care about it; I had no friends, no life, no plans, no nothing, so i just ignored it. 10th grade is when i got very into politics because i did a year long project for civics class which consisted of me editing a video about how the anti-bullying system is pushing a victimhood mentality. This is when i really got enveloped in feminism, and when my Twitter was active. Tumblr was another place i’d go because it’s funny trolling these friggin’ cry babies into submission. They eventually found my twitter and had me suspended… after they dox’d me and called my mom to have her tell me to stop saying mean words on the interwebs. Twas a good time. Now, i’d go into 10th grade, but all that really happened was Gina’s friend group shrinking form around 100 to 10, and she needed to feed off of my sadness to make herself feel better, so she organized an ongoing attack on me and my friends until all 10 of them got suspended for stealing my phone, and using it to send 40 pizzas to my house DURING SCHOOL. Her tirade is still going on to this day, but they’re laughing stock to the school at this point. The first thing that the board blames when something bad happens to me is gina. It’s that bad.

WELL, i feel better. Haaaaah this was nice to get off of my chest :3
Tyvm <3