how long?

Until recent I found my mind to be very confused. I had no idea how to remember time or days unless watching the seasons change, feeling the hottest or coldest days is good enough. What I am saying is I realized that I had to put more not less into life. What I found is fucking unbelievable. Prayer flags and rolling the dice  0 } ^ " [] ! All I am saying is I hope some ONE under stands and can help walk with me to the BEGINNING to the EnD infinite or not.