Still Alice (2014)

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1
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,201
Okay. Happy birthday, Mom.

2
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- Oh, is that for me?
- You don't look 40, much less 50.

3
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,280
Charlie, please.
But thank you. I appreciate it.

4
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,528
- Can I open this now?
- Yes, open it.

5
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,762
Oh, my goodness.

6
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,807
- Oh, I love it.
- Do you like it? Oh, good.

7
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,331
It's so beautiful.

8
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,642
- You can exchange it.
- I'm not going to.

9
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,081
- You always get me things I love.
- Good.

10
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,449
- Sorry I'm late.
- Oh, hey. Hey, isn't Lisa coming?

11
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,051
No. We split up.

12
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,443
Yes, I did notice your status
popped up to single, yet again.

13
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,927
I forgot your present.
I left it in my locker.

14
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,970
That's okay.
I hope you didn't spend too much.

15
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,970
- No, don't worry. He didn't.
- Where have you been?

16
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,323
The ER was like a madhouse.
One guy came in, six stab wounds.

17
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,081
- One missed his heart by an inch.
- No. Tom, it's dinnertime. Please.

18
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,169
- Not yet it isn't.
- Nearly.

19
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,160
- So, what kind of antibiotic do you...?
- Mom, have you spoken to Lydia?

20
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,168
She wanted to be here,
but she had a really important audition.

21
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,921
- What for?
- A guest spot on some TV thing.

22
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,726
- Something Enemy.
- Maybe this'll be her big break.

23
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,723
- Yeah, maybe.
- Don't hold your breath.

24
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,926
Stop it.

25
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:44,131
You guys must have been something
growing up. Dolls with heads cut off.

26
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,402
No, my sister and I were very close.

27
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,490
Oh, no. I'm sorry,
I was talking about Anna and Lydia.

28
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,481
My goodness.
I don't know why I said that.

29
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,763
We're here to celebrate you, Mom.
Dad, what about a toast?

30
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,405
Dad!

31
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,250
Toast.

32
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,130
Yes, yes, yes.

33
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,564
To the most beautiful
and the most intelligent woman...

34
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,367
- ...I have known in my entire life.
- Thank you.

35
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,968
- Happy birthday.
- Cheers! Happy birthday!

36
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,525
- We love you.
- I love you.

37
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,165
- Cheers.
- Cheers, darling.

38
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:25,930
My name is Frederick Johnson.

39
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,164
I'm associate professor
of cognitive science here at UCLA.

40
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,648
I'm here to welcome our speaker
who just flew in from New York.

41
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,362
Now, in my dissertation,
I spent about a chapter and a half...

42
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,565
vituperatively citing today's guest
and saying why she was wrong.

43
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,805
For the record, every time that Alice
and I have argued, she was right.

44
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,243
Alice Howland is the Lillian Young
Professor of Linguistics...

45
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,087
at Columbia University. She famously
wrote her seminal textbook...

46
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,886
From Neurons to Nouns,
while raising three children.

47
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,811
I'm sure getting more than
a few "A-ha" moments from them.

48
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And it is now considered
one of the cornerstones...

49
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,840
of linguistics education
all over the world.

50
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:10,210
Please welcome Dr. Alice Howland.

51
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,641
Thank you so much.

52
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,765
Most children speak
and understand their mother tongue...

53
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,203
before the age of 4,
without lessons, homework...

54
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,323
or much in the way of feedback.

55
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,369
How do they accomplish this feat?

56
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:34,323
This is a question that has interested
scientists at least since Charles Darwin...

57
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,848
kept a diary of the early language
of his infant son.

58
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,283
He observed, "Man has
an instinctive tendency to speak...

59
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,290
as we see in the babble
of young children."

60
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,529
Much has been learned since then.

61
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:50,691
But today I'd like to focus
on some recent studies from my lab...

62
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,601
on the acquisition of past-tense
irregular verb forms in children...

63
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,883
between the ages of 18 months
and two and a half years.

64
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,162
Now, you may say that this falls...

65
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,364
into the academic tradition
of knowing more and more...

66
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,087
about less and less
until we know everything about nothing.

67
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,648
But I hope to convince you
that by observing these baby steps...

68
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,524
into the...

69
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,450
Into...

70
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,728
I... I knew I shouldn't have had
that champagne.

71
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,482
Into the word stock
of a given language...

72
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,808
we will learn crucial information...

73
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,123
about the relationship
between memory and computation...

74
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,564
that is the very essence
of communication.

75
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,288
Lexicon.

76
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,922
I have that same thought. Makes sense.

77
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,646
- I saw it.
- Yeah, I thought about that.

78
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,364
Okay. I'm gonna go down
and get Shel. I'll be right back.

79
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,887
- Hey.
- Hi.

80
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,445
Hey, no, I'm sorry.

81
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,642
You just caught me by surprise.

82
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,126
Come on in. It's...

83
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:50,285
It's messy, but, you know,
I was in the process of cleaning.

84
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,084
It's fine, honey. Don't worry.

85
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,841
The boys are total slobs.
The kitchen is the main battleground...

86
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,448
but I've got them in training,
so we'll see how that goes.

87
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,924
- So where are they?
- Working.

88
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,006
Doug's at Starbucks,
Malcolm does some catering.

89
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,965
I guess that's what they mean
by working actor, huh?

90
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:14,561
- You involved with either one of them?
- Doug's gay.

91
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:18,731
And Malcolm and I did have a thing,
but it's over.

92
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,164
He got me in with Open Space.

93
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,324
- It's, like, the best theater company.
- Yes, I heard.

94
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,730
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm done.

95
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,928
It would have been awesome
if you saw No Exit.

96
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:39,001
- Daddy said you were good.
- I was all right. It wasn't my best night...

97
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,363
but at least he could get,
you know, like, a sense of it.

98
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,002
Figure out why he's doing...

99
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,841
you know, me a solid with the company.

100
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,769
What do you mean?

101
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:54,365
- It's really nice of him to help out.
- How is he helping with the company?

102
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,331
It's our responsibility
as members to raise equity...

103
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,689
for the productions we put on.
Eventually we get a cut...

104
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,531
of the box office.
We're sort of shareholders.

105
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,802
So basically you have to pay to act?

106
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,650
No.

107
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,563
It's a theater group.
It's just the reality of the situation.

108
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,728
That's how it is. It's Los Angeles.

109
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,526
Don't you think it's time
you reconsidered things?

110
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,441
You're so smart. There's much more
you could be doing with your life.

111
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,371
- Like going to college?
- Yes. Yes. Like college.

112
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,690
Like we've never talked about that before.
Every single day of my life.

113
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,446
I figured out what I wanted to do,
and I'm doing it. It's a good thing.

114
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,650
- But on whose dime?
- You're helping Tom with med school.

115
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:41,368
- You helped Anna with law school.
- Sweetheart, those are real careers.

116
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,887
I just don't want you
to limit your choices.

117
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,605
- You want to make my choices.
- No, I don't.

118
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,731
I'm really happy.

119
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,242
I'm sorry. I don't...

120
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,487
I don't wanna argue about this.

121
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,963
- Just forget I said anything, okay?
- It's forgotten.

122
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,841
- Gonna check your phone?
- It's just a game.

123
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,089
Your sister and I have an obsession
with "Words with Friends."

124
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,760
- That's cute.
- You don't wanna play with her...

125
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,645
- ...she's a demon.
- I'm not surprised.

126
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,203
John?

127
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,369
Hi.

128
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,444
John?

129
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,570
Want one? Here you go.

130
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,606
Two for one at the Shoe Warehouse.

131
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,565
Two for one, Shoe Warehouse.

132
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,960
Two for one at the Shoe Warehouse.

133
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,602
So... I don't know. That's all he said.

134
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,564
Two for one at the Shoe Warehouse.
Here you go.

135
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,123
- One?
- No, thanks.

136
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,604
Ali?

137
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,803
- I was wondering where you were.
- Don't. I'm really sweaty.

138
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,602
- How did it go?
- What?

139
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,531
- UCLA.
- Oh, it was good.

140
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,846
They were...

141
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,328
- They were really receptive.
- I'm sure they were.

142
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,682
How was Lydia?

143
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,486
Good. You know.

144
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,448
You guys argue?

145
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:34,767
Well, we spent the whole evening
trying not to.

146
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,922
The news that you're bankrolling
her theater company didn't help.

147
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,088
I told you about that.

148
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,521
- You didn't.
- I thought I did.

149
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,566
- You didn't.
- You're not gonna like this either...

150
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,762
but I have things to do at the lab.

151
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,931
- Maybe walk me over there right now?
- No, I don't wanna go back to campus.

152
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,681
I just went for a run.
I really need to be home right now.

153
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,444
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just...

154
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,927
You said we were gonna
spend the evening in.

155
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,289
I did. We will. The sooner I go,
the sooner I'll be back...

156
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,051
and we can watch a movie.

157
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,325
I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted.

158
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,843
Get some rest.

159
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,964
Relax.

160
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,964
I've started forgetting things,
little annoying things...

161
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,605
like words and names.

162
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,406
And I got lost, completely lost...

163
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,726
running on campus.

164
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,526
I talked to my doctor,
she said it could be menopause.

165
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,768
Last time I'd had a period was February.

166
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,804
But I had one again, in September,
before my birthday.

167
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,163
Are you taking any pills,
medication, supplements?

168
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,445
I take a multivitamin, flaxseed oil,
calcium, iron.

169
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,246
I occasionally take a sleeping pill
when I travel.

170
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,284
- Have you had any head injuries?
- No.

171
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:06,130
Would you consider yourself depressed
or under undue stress at the moment?

172
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,607
No. I work a lot, but I thrive on it.

173
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,122
- How's your sleeping?
- It's fine. Like, seven hours a night.

174
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,324
Now, I'm gonna ask you to remember
a name and an address.

175
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,881
- I'm gonna ask you for it again later.
- Okay.

176
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,971
John Black,
42 Washington Street, Hoboken.

177
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,401
- Can you repeat that for me?
- John Black...

178
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,887
42 Washington Street, Hoboken.

179
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,606
- Good. How old are you?
- I'm 50.

180
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,882
- What's today's date?
- November 26.

181
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,282
- Where are we?
- We are on the third floor...

182
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,005
of New York-Presbyterian.

183
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,770
Can you spell "water" for me?

184
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,764
W-A-T-E-R.

185
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,766
- Now can you spell it for me backwards?
- R-E-T-A-W.

186
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,770
Can you tell me what you see
on these cards?

187
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,291
Pliers.

188
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,323
A ladder.

189
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,443
A sea horse.

190
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,603
A screwdriver.

191
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,723
An elephant.

192
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,007
- Tell me about your parents.
- Well, they're both dead.

193
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,966
My mother and my sister died
in a car crash when I was 18...

194
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,289
and my father died in 1999
of liver failure.

195
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,528
- Hepatitis?
- Cirrhosis.

196
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,131
He was an alcoholic.

197
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,051
And what was he like towards the end?

198
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,323
Incoherent. Incontinent.

199
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,000
We didn't really see
a lot of each other.

200
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:25,171
He lived in New Hampshire,
and we weren't that close.

201
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:26,930
Sorry.

202
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,563
- Do you have any other siblings?
- No. I only had the one.

203
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,805
Now, can you tell me that name and address
that I asked you to remember?

204
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,285
John Black.

205
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,568
And the address?

206
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,484
Damn it, I forgot.

207
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,569
Was it 42 Argyle Street...

208
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:51,890
Cole Street, Washington Street,
or South Street?

209
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,288
I was distracted talking about my parents.
Can we do that again?

210
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,960
- There's no need to at this time.
- Okay.

211
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,643
So I'd like to do an MRI,
just to rule some things out.

212
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,120
Like what?

213
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,800
Because I think I have a brain tumor.

214
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,607
A precaution. But it will allow us
to see if there are any lesions...

215
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,970
or any signs of a stroke.
Just find out what is going on in there.

216
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,763
Okay. What should I do in the meantime?

217
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,482
Get plenty of exercise. It's always
good to get the blood pumping.

218
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,806
Drink lots of water.

219
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,207
Good hydration
is excellent for the memory.

220
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:32,161
Next time you come and see me,
bring in someone who knows you well?

221
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,523
Your husband or a close relative?

222
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,765
Sure.

223
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,204
Stethoscope...

224
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,765
millennium...

225
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,724
hedgehog.

226
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,771
Okay.

227
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,570
Okay.

228
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,649
Cathode.

229
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,645
Pomegranate.

230
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,643
Trellis.

231
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,365
Okay.

232
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,804
Hello.

233
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,161
Hi. Come on in.

234
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,004
- Hey, Mom. Hi.
- Hey, hi.

235
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,446
Good to see you.

236
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,642
- This is Jenny.
- Hello. I'm Alice.

237
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,968
- I'm happy you could join us.
- Thank you.

238
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,487
Of course.
Sweetheart, why don't you guys...

239
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,206
go in there and get a drink,
and grab the...?

240
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,607
The cheese thing and...

241
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,881
- All right.
- Yeah.

242
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,844
I'm so happy you could join us.

243
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,963
- I really am, Jenny.
- Thank you.

244
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,242
- It smells so good in here.
- Beautiful.

245
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,046
- Yeah.
- That's how we do it.

246
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,204
Okay.

247
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,082
How many goddamn eggs?

248
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,370
Cathode, pomegranate...

249
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,608
trellis?

250
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,002
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi.

251
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,322
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh, merry Christmas.

252
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,045
How was your flight?

253
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,642
Actually, awful. This guy
coughed all over me the entire time.

254
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,888
- I hope you don't get sick.
- Me too.

255
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,367
- Does this mean what I think it means?
- Yes.

256
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,164
- Bread pudding?
- Your favorite.

257
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,203
- Yes.
- Mom! Merry Christmas.

258
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,731
- Hi.
- Hello.

259
00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,049
- Seen my latest "Words with Friends"?
- I haven't had time.

260
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,366
- A real zinger.
- Yeah?

261
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,284
- "Jealousy" on a triple.
- Hey!

262
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,926
- Don't spoil it.
- Already trending on Twitter.

263
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,451
How's California?

264
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:08,687
- Nice.
- Yeah?

265
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,166
Warmer than here?

266
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,324
Yes. Definitely warmer than here.

267
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,122
Hey, guys,
why don't you get out of here...

268
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,408
so I can concentrate on making this.

269
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,280
Okay?

270
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,687
- Where's Dad?
- He's upstairs.

271
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:24,927
Can I help you?

272
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,322
No, I'm fine.
Go get a drink or something.

273
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,729
- It's gonna be delicious. Yum. It will be.
- Oh, I hope so.

274
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,325
I can't wait.

275
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,885
- Jenny.
- Nice to meet you.

276
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,082
Nice to meet you too.

277
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,810
- Hi, Jenny.
- How are you?

278
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,809
I am fine.

279
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,240
Honestly.

280
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,329
- Hey.
- Slider.

281
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,521
It's a very big decision. We're excited.

282
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,882
The place was recommended by friends...

283
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:57,404
who've been trying for years,
and they just had their first child, so...

284
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,806
So we'll see.

285
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,526
- I've heard good things about Wellspring.
- Good.

286
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,485
It's expensive,
but we obviously want it to work.

287
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,444
You could be a mom already.

288
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,846
I know.

289
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,411
- Okay.
- Are you kidding?

290
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,729
- What kind of soup, Mom?
- Here we go. It's butternut squash.

291
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,804
Hi, I'm Alice.
I'm so happy you could join us.

292
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,250
- I'm Jenny.
- It's really nice to meet you.

293
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,568
- Yeah...
- Well, I think...

294
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,485
I deserve a glass of wine
after that, don't you?

295
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,768
- You want white?
- Yes. Thank you.

296
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,088
- Does everyone have a glass?
- Yes, we do.

297
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,285
Let's have a toast. To Christmas.

298
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,329
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

299
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,171
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

300
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,846
Now, I don't see anything abnormal
in your MRI.

301
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,361
No cerebral vascular disease...

302
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,291
- ...no evidence of strokes, no masses.
- Thank God.

303
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,211
And your blood work came back
completely clear...

304
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,769
but what worries me
are the memory tests that I sent you for.

305
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,244
You have sporadic memory impairment
totally out of proportion to your age.

306
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,923
And there is evidence of decline
in your level of mental function.

307
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,124
I think we should do a PET scan.
It's similar to an MRI...

308
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,687
but it can pick up things
at the molecular level.

309
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:14,010
I know what a PET scan is, but what
in particular would you be looking for?

310
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:19,408
I wanna see if the results are consistent
with Alzheimer's disease.

311
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,922
Now, it would be rare
for someone as young as yourself...

312
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,363
but you do fit the criteria.

313
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,686
Last time, I asked you
to bring a close relative.

314
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,281
I really didn't think
that would be necessary.

315
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,245
Okay. But next time, for sure.

316
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,885
Okay?

317
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,851
"Enhancement of endogenous levels
of endorphin...

318
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,123
has not been shown
to reduce incidence of metastasis...

319
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,084
in the distant cell sites."

320
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,681
- That's not good.
- Tell me about it.

321
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,087
We've been working on this for months.

322
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,170
It seems beta endorphin
doesn't significantly impact...

323
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,647
the microphage activity.

324
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,042
How about the cytokines?

325
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,971
Elevated. Slightly.

326
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,560
Oh, God. Back to square one.

327
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,046
Are we both here on the 17th?

328
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,405
I don't remember.

329
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,685
Phil and Diane were saying
they might come to town for the weekend.

330
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,291
How long are you going
to keep at that thing?

331
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,528
Till it's clean.

332
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,330
John?

333
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,847
John, sweetheart, wake up.

334
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,328
- What time is it?
- I need to talk to you.

335
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,930
I've...

336
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,446
I've got something wrong with me.

337
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,643
What are you talking about?

338
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,605
I've been seeing a neurologist.

339
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,606
You've been seeing a neurologist? Why?

340
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,850
They think that it might be
early onset Alzheimer's disease.

341
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,650
Ali, Ali, that doesn't make
any sense at all.

342
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,763
They don't know anything for sure.

343
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,964
But I've been doing all these tests
and I'm really scared.

344
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,922
- Ali, that is completely insane.
- I got...

345
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,687
I got lost while I was running
on campus a while ago. I can't...

346
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,130
I can't remember appointments, words.

347
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,288
Honey, we all have memory lapses.

348
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,006
That's a sign of getting older.
The other day...

349
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,283
I couldn't remember the word "glucose."

350
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,641
It's not like that.

351
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,923
It's like something just drop...
Drops out under me.

352
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,208
- But there is no diagnosis yet?
- No.

353
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:46,445
Okay. Well, then I think that this
is ridiculous. It's complete bullshit.

354
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,883
- You don't have Alzheimer's.
- Why won't you take me seriously?

355
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,525
I know what I'm feeling.

356
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,441
I know what it's feeling, and it feels
like my brain is fucking dying.

357
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,361
And everything I've worked for
in my entire life is going.

358
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,130
It's all... All going.

359
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,845
No.

360
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,521
Come here.

361
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,209
Don't cry.

362
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,168
Most of them are still awaiting trial.

363
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,931
They have not been found guilty.

364
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:29,806
Last year, officials at Rikers reported
to the Board of Corrections...

365
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,482
- ...that on a typical day...
- What time is your tutorial?

366
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,364
Eleven.

367
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,722
Well, that gives you some time.

368
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,684
I'm gonna be a little late
because I have a departmental meeting.

369
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,724
When I come back, we can go
to dinner, have Thai food?

370
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,405
Yeah, okay.

371
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,161
I'm okay. I just...

372
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,490
Last night just got
the better of me, that's all.

373
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,009
Well, two things: I think it's way too early
to jump to any conclusions...

374
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,887
and whatever happens, I'm here.

375
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,321
You can clearly see in here...

376
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,366
The red areas are high in beta-amyloid.

377
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,486
The buildup has probably been ongoing
for several years.

378
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,006
I'm sorry.

379
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,765
There is evidence
of high amyloid in older people...

380
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,241
with normal cognitive function, correct?

381
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,884
Yes, but not in someone
as young as Alice.

382
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,847
Well, at least
it would be extremely rare.

383
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,487
High amyloid is associated
with conditions other than Alzheimer's.

384
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,848
Unfortunately, in Alice's case...

385
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,522
this corroborates the clinical symptoms
that she is presenting.

386
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,724
Shouldn't any diagnosis be accompanied
by a genetic test?

387
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,402
- Hold on a minute, please.
- Actually, I was gonna suggest that.

388
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,524
In a case like this,
with the onset being so early...

389
00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:00,442
we would like to check for presenilin
mutations that would be an indicator...

390
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,804
of familial Alzheimer's disease,
which is a rarer form.

391
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,849
We can make an appointment for you.

392
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,721
- So this concerns my children?
- Yes.

393
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,328
I assume that if I have the gene...

394
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,364
the odds of my passing it along
are fifty-fifty.

395
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,800
I'm afraid so.

396
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,449
And if they are carriers, what are the odds
of them developing the disease?

397
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,331
I'm afraid it's a hundred percent.

398
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,529
Radiology technician,
please dial extension to 256.

399
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,411
The kids will all be here
for our anniversary.

400
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,365
I don't think we should tell them,
not until we have the results.

401
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,326
We will by then, if I go in next week.
I wanna know as soon as possible.

402
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,684
Where the hell is this goddamn elevator?
Here we are in a major hospital.

403
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,962
- Only one elevator running?
- It's okay.

404
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,881
- We could've taken the stairs by now.
- It doesn't matter.

405
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,208
Going down.

406
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:10,841
Well, everybody...

407
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,405
What's going on?

408
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,803
- Oh, boy.
- Are you guys gonna break up or...?

409
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,764
No.

410
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:26,601
- No, it's nothing like that. It...
- Mom, are you sick?

411
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,483
I have been seeing a neurologist
for the past few months...

412
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,968
and I have Alzheimer's disease.

413
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,850
Early onset.

414
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,930
That... That doesn't make sense.
Are...? Are you sure?

415
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,851
There is no doubt. She has the disease.

416
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,122
But at her age, it's...

417
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,322
It is rare, but it has been confirmed.

418
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,562
- Yeah.
- You're so young, Mom.

419
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,570
- I don't understand that.
- I had noticed one or two things.

420
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,570
You didn't know Tom's girlfriend
when she came over...

421
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,491
- Lydia.
- What medications are you on?

422
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,126
Right now, I'm on Aricept and Namenda.

423
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,004
They can help slow the progress?

424
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,009
- Well, no.
- I'm afraid not.

425
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,929
Help alleviate the symptoms...

426
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:17,090
- ...but they can't prevent the disease.
- The thing is...

427
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,204
that the type of Alzheimer's I have...

428
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,927
is very rare.

429
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:30,131
- It's familial. It's passed on genetically.
- Oh, my God.

430
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,687
We believe that she got it
from her father...

431
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,043
and of course, we're very worried
about the three of you.

432
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,322
Now, there is a test you can take...

433
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:43,287
but it's completely up to you
whether you wanna find out or not.

434
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,209
I'm sorry.

435
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,329
I'm so...

436
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,490
Can anyone tell me what it says
in the syllabus for today?

437
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:52,841
Phonology.

438
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,522
And can anyone tell me
what phonology is?

439
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,611
"Phono" is from the Greek word "phoné,"
meaning "sound"...

440
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:11,283
and phonology, broadly speaking,
is the study of the sounds of language.

441
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,801
It should be distinguished
from phonetics...

442
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,764
Hi, Anna.

443
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,291
Hi, Mom.

444
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,482
Are you okay?

445
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,288
I got the results. I'm positive.

446
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,842
Oh, God, Anna.

447
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,323
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

448
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,730
Tom turned out negative,
and Lydia didn't wanna know.

449
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,365
But I'm positive.

450
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,961
Baby, how are you feeling?

451
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,203
I'm okay.

452
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,964
One good thing, at least I found out now
before the next IUI session.

453
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,083
I guess they can test the embryos...

454
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,806
so they can be sure
the babies will be okay.

455
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:09,130
I'm on my way to a lecture, but I can
cancel it and I can be right there.

456
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,120
No, no, Mom, it's okay.
I'm with Charlie. I'm okay.

457
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:17,086
No, I want to. I can...
I... I want to be there. I can come.

458
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,251
No, please don't worry. I'll be fine.

459
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,530
Okay.

460
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,607
I love you, sweetheart.

461
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,729
I love you.

462
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,849
- Bye.
- Bye.

463
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:17,010
"I had been looking forward to this course,
but I was disappointed.

464
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:22,565
The content was often muddled
and delivered with little focus or care.

465
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:27,045
Class was a waste of time. I ended up
just following the online version.

466
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,164
I found Linguistics 201 very erratic.

467
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,160
I had a hard time
following Dr. Howland's lectures.

468
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,886
Even she seems
like she gets lost in them."

469
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:43,008
Eric, I am so sorry. I... I didn't know
the students felt this way.

470
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:47,762
Obviously, I will... I will make adjustments
and we can reevaluate my performance.

471
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,645
Everything all right at home?
Between you and John?

472
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,969
- Yes, everything's fine.
- Is it something we can help with?

473
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:55,964
- Stress, depression?
- No, no, no.

474
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,646
- Substance abuse? Alcohol?
- No. No. God, Eric.

475
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,605
No, it's... It's nothing
like that. I... it's...

476
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:06,169
It's medical.
It's a... It's a medical issue...

477
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,081
and I admit I had a hard time
teaching last semester...

478
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,647
and I wasn't aware
of how much it showed.

479
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,690
Alice, I'm not following.

480
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,247
I have mild cognitive impairment.

481
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,647
Would you unpack that for me?

482
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,686
In February, I was diagnosed
with early onset Alzheimer's disease.

483
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,244
What?

484
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,565
- Alice, oh, my God, I'm sorry.
- It's early. It's still early stages.

485
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,206
It will limit my ability
as time goes on...

486
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,643
- but for now, I feel capable...
- There's no need to...

487
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,162
I mean, we don't want you
under any undue stress.

488
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,443
- That would be counterproductive.
- I can handle the stress.

489
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,282
I would like to remain in the department
for as long as we all think is possible.

490
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:57,366
Well, I'll have to let the department
and the faculty know.

491
00:33:58,560 --> 00:33:59,721
Yes, of course.

492
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:02,730
I am so, so sorry.

493
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:53,491
I'll have a regular
with blueberries and coconut, please.

494
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:09,480
Hi.

495
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,727
Alice, where the hell were you?

496
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,121
I went for a run.

497
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,051
You've been gone for over two hours.
I was worried.

498
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,049
Well, then I went to Pinkberry.

499
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,811
- You went to Pinkberry?
- Yeah.

500
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:26,688
Well, I hope you enjoyed that because
you completely blew our dinner plans.

501
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,047
Susan Kirby and her husband.

502
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,081
I'm sorry. I forgot.

503
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,728
I have Alzheimer's.

504
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,524
I texted you, I e-mailed you.

505
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,291
- There are ways to manage...
- I said I was sorry.

506
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,960
She's the chair of my department.

507
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,885
I had no idea where you were,
if something happened.

508
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,283
- Why didn't you bring your phone?
- I can't when I'm running.

509
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,801
Wear a fanny pack.
Is it that inhibiting?

510
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,530
Yes.

511
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:03,811
- I hate that this is happening to me.
- I hate it too.

512
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,684
We have to keep the important things
in our life going.

513
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,087
We have to try
or we're going to go crazy.

514
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,691
I know. I know, John.

515
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,965
I am, I'm sorry, but I don't know what
I would've been like at a dinner party.

516
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,562
I might not be able to remember names
or answer simple questions.

517
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,764
- Never mind get through an anecdote.
- You're doing great.

518
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,166
Relative to what?

519
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,001
I wish I had cancer.

520
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,286
Don't say that.

521
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,609
No, I do. I mean it.
I mean, I wouldn't feel so ashamed.

522
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,690
People have cancer,
they wear pink ribbons for you...

523
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,005
and go on long walks, and raise money...

524
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:47,967
and you don't have to feel
like some kind of a social...

525
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,488
I can't remember the word.

526
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:07,003
In 2013, we completed exterior repairs,
and inside, we replaced the elevators...

527
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:10,403
refurbished the auditorium,
the library and lounge area...

528
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,524
- ...and upgraded our HVAC system.
- Well, that's good.

529
00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:16,326
We also took away
a lot of the old security doors.

530
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,682
Residents are issued a bracelet
instead...

531
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:23,721
which keeps them from using elevators or
leaving the building, depending on their level.

532
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,207
I don't know if you've experienced this
with your parent...

533
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,643
but they get nighttime restlessness
and wandering.

534
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,845
We can prevent their elopement
without patients feeling they're locked in.

535
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,087
I see.

536
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:39,808
We saw that large group activities
left most of the residents unengaged...

537
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,324
and even distressed by the confusion
they experienced from all the stimulation.

538
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,761
So we redefined activities...

539
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:51,010
to include all interactions
between staff and residents in the unit.

540
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:55,325
Staff looks for opportunities to make
meaningful connections with residents...

541
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,969
starting with knowing about the person
and what makes them comfortable.

542
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:05,200
One woman who had worked as a nurse sat,
most days, in the nursing station, writing notes.

543
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,447
Heartbreaking.

544
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,684
Yes, but it's a behavior
we see time and again.

545
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,201
We don't have restrictions
on visiting times.

546
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,721
Family and friends
are welcome day or night.

547
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,242
- Doesn't look like anybody's here.
- Sunday is the day they come.

548
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:19,925
- What's that?
- Chair alarm.

549
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,487
Certain residents have them
so we know they're up.

550
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,081
- She all right?
- Just a precautionary measure.

551
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,926
- Get me to Penn Station.
- It's all women.

552
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,283
We do have mainly female residents
here, but there are men.

553
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,960
There's William.
William was part of the team...

554
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,044
that sent the first satellite
into orbit.

555
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,811
They just aren't powerful enough
to put me to sleep.

556
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,570
Do you want to try Lunesta?

557
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,285
What about Rohypnol?

558
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:57,726
That's very strong.

559
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,048
I need something strong.

560
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:11,805
Hi, Alice.

561
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:16,369
I am you and I have something
very important to say to you.

562
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,370
So you've reached the point
where you can no longer answer...

563
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,165
any of the questions.

564
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,489
So this is the next logical step.

565
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,489
I'm sure of it.

566
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,524
In your bedroom there's a dresser
with a blue lamp.

567
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,849
Open the top drawer.

568
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,203
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

569
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,290
It says, "Take all pills with water."

570
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,126
Now, there are a lot of pills
in that bottle...

571
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,767
but it's very important
that you swallow them all.

572
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:52,283
Okay? And then lie down and go to sleep.

573
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,725
And don't tell anyone what you're doing.

574
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,522
Ali!

575
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,603
Ali!

576
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,206
Oh, I love it here.

577
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,204
Me too.

578
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,920
- Remember Santorini?
- Santorini.

579
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,967
- Can you believe that was 30 years ago?
- Don't do that to me. Oh, my God.

580
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,367
Oh, it was a complicated time, huh?

581
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,404
You were dealing with a lot.
What was it, a year after?

582
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,211
- Yeah, something like that.
- Yeah.

583
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:28,724
I know I've said this, but I am sorry I
never got to meet your mom or your sister.

584
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:30,729
Me too.

585
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,010
We had a great time, though.

586
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,888
- Yeah.
- Don't you wish we had more of that?

587
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,609
If you mean blow jobs
on the beach, yes, I...

588
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,246
- Yeah, but, you know.
- I do wish we had more.

589
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,602
Yeah, all of it.

590
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:48,969
It all happened so fast, you know.

591
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,640
Anna was born, our careers.

592
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,484
Well, you were relentless.

593
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,684
You wanted everything and all at once.

594
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:00,527
That's how I am. That's how I like it.

595
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,369
Anna's the same way, right?

596
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,207
I like you the way you are.

597
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,922
I like everything about you.

598
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,282
Thank God you do.

599
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,285
This is so great, you know.

600
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:19,766
I kind of like it.

601
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,884
Being liberated from Columbia.

602
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,090
Why don't you take a sabbatical
next year?

603
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,440
And we're gonna do what,
drive around the country in an RV?

604
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:34,406
Sure. I don't know,
we could spend more time here.

605
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:35,647
Go to Bhutan.

606
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,601
Well, I think our summer on the island
is all the excitement I can handle.

607
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,320
Okay. Well, you know what?

608
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:46,286
This might be the last year
that I'm myself, you know?

609
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,922
Please don't say that.

610
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,289
John?

611
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,289
I'm over here.

612
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:25,371
Oh, hey, when are you going
to the conference?

613
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,211
On Monday.

614
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,324
- And when is Lydia coming?
- Lydia comes on Sunday.

615
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,040
She doesn't have to come
just to babysit me.

616
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,603
She's coming to do the Chekhov play
at Saugatuck, remember?

617
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,288
- Right.
- When I get finished...

618
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,007
- ...are we gonna go for a run?
- Yeah, I need to grab another layer.

619
00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:45,651
Okay.

620
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,929
- Hey, are we still going running?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, look.

621
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:33,527
Look, I found this photo album...

622
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:36,849
with these pictures
of my mother and my sister.

623
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,645
Hey, when are you going
to the conference?

624
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,086
- Monday.
- And when is Lydia coming?

625
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,408
Lydia's coming on Sunday.

626
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,170
Okay.

627
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,129
- Are we going running?
- Yes.

628
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,288
Yes, we are. I just have to go pee.

629
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,170
I'll be right back.

630
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:03,970
Ali?

631
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,601
I couldn't find the bathroom.

632
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,844
It's okay, baby.
Come on, let's get you cleaned up.

633
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,364
I don't know where I am.

634
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:38,644
- I like that necklace.
- You do?

635
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,205
- Yeah.
- Haven't seen this?

636
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,845
Nope.

637
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,721
My mother gave it to me.

638
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,091
When I was a little girl...

639
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:52,126
like, in second grade,
my teacher told me...

640
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,722
butterflies don't live a long time.
They live, like, a month.

641
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,686
And I was so upset, and I went home,
and I told my mother, and she said:

642
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:03,009
"Yeah, but, you know,
they have a nice life.

643
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,487
They have a really beautiful life."

644
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,129
So now it always makes me think about
my mother's life, and my sister's life.

645
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,809
And to a certain extent,
you know, my own.

646
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,808
- You are gonna be around for a long time, Mom.
- Yes, yes.

647
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,168
There's some things I wanna do,
you know?

648
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:28,126
I wanna take a sabbatical with Daddy.
I don't think that's gonna happen.

649
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:32,882
And I wanna see Anna have a baby,
and I wanna see Tom graduate.

650
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:36,971
- You will.
- And I'd like to see you go to college.

651
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:43,326
Not for law or medicine or anything,
but for drama.

652
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,370
And if the acting thing
doesn't work out, you could...

653
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,724
You could teach or do workshops.
You'd have some kind of a backup plan.

654
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:52,604
Yeah.

655
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,841
I don't want a backup plan.

656
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:57,726
I...

657
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,022
I wanna do this.
I'm gonna give it a shot.

658
00:49:00,123 --> 00:49:02,806
It's not gonna happen
if I don't believe in myself.

659
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,807
I believe in you, Lydia.
I do, I believe in you.

660
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,850
It's just that, you know, life is tough.

661
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,964
It is tougher than you know.

662
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:14,321
And I...

663
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:18,684
I just... I want you to have
some kind of security before I go.

664
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,762
Mom, for God...

665
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,650
You have to...

666
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,522
You can't use your situation
to just get me to do everything...

667
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,802
- ...you want me to do.
- Why can't I?

668
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,844
- Because that's not fair.
- I don't have to be fair.

669
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:35,929
I'm your mother.

670
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,404
- Right?
- Yeah.

671
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,925
- Hey.
- What's going on?

672
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,447
I'm just working, how about you?

673
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:28,129
Nothing.

674
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:32,050
I need something to read.

675
00:50:32,240 --> 00:50:36,131
- I thought you were reading Moby-Dick.
- Yeah, I was...

676
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:41,281
but I got tired of reading the same page
over and over again. I can't focus.

677
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,165
Well, that happens to me
when I read Moby-Dick too.

678
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,887
- Why don't you try something lighter?
- Like The Cat in the Hat?

679
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,686
How about one of those plays
Lydia has downstairs?

680
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,201
They're quicker, they're easier to read.

681
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,364
It might give the two of you
something to talk about.

682
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,648
Okay.

683
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,406
You work all the time.

684
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:15,168
What I liked about it was how...

685
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,802
How big, how...

686
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:24,006
How wide the scape of it was.

687
00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:25,844
Yeah. The scope of it.

688
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,686
The scope, that's the word.
Oh, God, listen to me.

689
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,406
It's unbelievable you had to live
through that.

690
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:33,924
You must have known...

691
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,441
Must have known somebody
that died from AIDS.

692
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:40,122
Oh, yeah, honey. Everybody did.

693
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,206
We lost a lot of people.

694
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,524
What did you think?

695
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,730
I mean, you and Malcolm
played the Mormons, right?

696
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:53,003
The husband and wife?
You did scenes in your acting class.

697
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,009
Yeah, how'd you know that?

698
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:58,967
I don't know, you must have told me.

699
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,483
I didn't tell you.

700
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:03,731
Well, then...

701
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,809
I don't know how I know it.

702
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:08,930
Mom, did you read my journal?

703
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,009
Why?

704
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,771
- Why would you do that, Mom?
- Oh, gosh.

705
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,571
I am so sorry.

706
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,327
Lydia, I honestly didn't understand
what I was reading.

707
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:28,967
You didn't understand "Lydia Howland"
written across the front?

708
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:32,243
- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I...
- I don't believe you.

709
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:33,965
I didn't mean to.

710
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:35,521
Okay, it's fine.

711
00:53:35,720 --> 00:53:37,290
I just can't...

712
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:40,444
- Lydia, I didn't... I really didn't know.
- Just stop!

713
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:42,961
I wouldn't do that to you.

714
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,681
- So you can't eat this.
- No, I know.

715
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:51,805
No sushi, not hot do...
Hot dogs are the worst. I love hot dogs.

716
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:53,565
- No alcohol.
- No alcohol.

717
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,842
- No cigarettes.
- Never even smoked.

718
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:57,525
Well, you... I mean...

719
00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:00,690
- Never had one cigarette in your life?
- Not one.

720
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:02,570
We can't be too careful.

721
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:06,885
He even grabbed my hand the other day
as we were walking down the stairs.

722
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:11,244
- Just trying to protect my investment.
- Anna, return my "Words with Friends."

723
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,920
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. I haven't had time.

724
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:15,847
- Yeah.
- Hey.

725
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:18,168
- Congrats.
- Hey, hey. Thank you.

726
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,810
- There you are.
- Thanks. So twins, huh?

727
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,600
- Yes, a boy and a girl.
- Kind of perfect.

728
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,963
- What your mother and I were hoping for.
- It's so wonderful.

729
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:30,565
Oh, gosh.

730
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,604
I'm sorry, I've gotta take this. Hello?

731
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:35,768
- How far along are you?
- Five weeks.

732
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,243
Right now, it's very early days, but...

733
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:42,808
Well, the timing of things,
how we found out and when we did...

734
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,924
- ...well, it really worked out in the end.
- Great.

735
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,204
- That's amazing.
- So, Mom, how you feeling?

736
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:50,925
- Mostly fine.
- Really?

737
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,841
Yeah, I use this thing,
you know, instead of a memory.

738
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,725
Reminds me to take my medication,
things like that.

739
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,002
It's nice how the technology can help.

740
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,125
- I think it has the same...
- Lydia, what time is your play?

741
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:05,561
Eight o'clock.

742
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,728
- Nervous about tomorrow night?
- Yes.

743
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,605
I'll be fine,
but I'll have to block you out.

744
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,529
I'm sorry. What time again?

745
00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:14,085
- Eight o'clock.
- Okay.

746
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:18,001
- You don't have to schedule it.
- I wanna put it in. And where is it?

747
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,202
- The Saugatuck Theater.
- Can you spell that?

748
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,767
- S-A-U...
- Mom, we're not gonna forget you.

749
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,286
Just let her do it.

750
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,404
- It's S-A-U-G-A-T-U-C-K.
- Oh, God.

751
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:29,204
- Anna, you're not helping.
- You're not.

752
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,801
Why worry about remembering something
she doesn't have to?

753
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:33,968
If you just let her, she won't worry.

754
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:37,603
You don't have to talk about her
like she's not sitting here.

755
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:41,009
- I'm not, I'm talking to her. Aren't I, Mom?
- Yes, you are.

756
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,646
- Yes, and what makes you an expert?
- Shut up.

757
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:45,171
- Grow up, Lydia.
- Suck it.

758
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:46,731
That's very articulate.

759
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,365
Girls, girls, you know...

760
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,688
- Are you kidding me?
- That's enough.

761
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,928
- Stop it, please.
- You shut up.

762
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:56,050
- No, both of you, stop it.
- What is going on here?

763
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:00,685
Alice, this is a beautiful spread.

764
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,368
Thank you, Charlie.

765
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,642
- Very valuable...
- Lydia, baby, I know that we argued...

766
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:09,530
about something yesterday...

767
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:13,082
but I can't remember what it was about.

768
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,964
- It was nothing, honestly.
- No, I upset you.

769
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:22,290
And I should apologize.

770
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,048
No, no.

771
00:56:27,240 --> 00:56:28,480
I should apologize.

772
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:29,966
I'm...

773
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:34,087
I feel really bad.
I was so insensitive yesterday.

774
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:38,609
Will you forgive me, honestly?

775
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,244
But for what?

776
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:47,891
It was about you respecting my privacy,
and I don't want that.

777
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,970
And I take it back completely.

778
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:53,484
And I'm sorry, okay?

779
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:55,729
I'm sorry.

780
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,041
It's not as if I can remember it.

781
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:06,286
Yeah, I know, right?
That's why I tried to drop it.

782
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,403
What's it like?

783
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,731
Like, what does it actually feel like?

784
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:24,364
Well, it's not always the same.

785
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:28,360
You know, I have...
I have good days and bad days.

786
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:35,250
And on my good days, I can, you know,
almost pass for a normal person.

787
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:40,321
But on my bad days,
I feel like I can't find myself.

788
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:48,725
I've always been so defined
by my intellect...

789
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:52,766
my language, my articulation...

790
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:56,965
and now, sometimes, I can see
the words hanging in front of me...

791
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,851
and I can't reach them.
I don't know who I am...

792
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,606
and I don't know
what I'm gonna lose next.

793
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,289
That sounds horrible.

794
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:17,803
Thanks for asking.

795
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,322
Oh, Lydia.

796
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,408
They're leaving us.

797
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,524
One has quite left us.

798
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,240
Quite and forever.

799
00:58:57,440 --> 00:59:01,161
We alone remain
to begin our lives over again.

800
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:02,930
We must live.

801
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,361
We must live.

802
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:09,966
There will come a time
when we all will know why...

803
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:13,849
for what purpose
there is all of this suffering...

804
00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:18,086
and there will be no mystery.

805
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,164
But now we must live.

806
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:24,570
We must work, just work.

807
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:28,161
Tomorrow I'll go off on my own
and I'll teach.

808
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:32,331
I'll give everything I have
to those who might, perhaps, need it.

809
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,168
It's autumn now.

810
00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:40,851
Soon it will be winter.
The snow will cover everything.

811
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,762
And I'll be working.

812
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:47,803
Just working.

813
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:12,003
There she is. Hey, you were amazing.

814
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,328
Yes, you were so good.

815
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:18,206
- Incredible.
- You killed it, totally.

816
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,850
Miss Howland,
would you sign this for me?

817
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,728
It was just wonderful.

818
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,764
I... I found it so easy
to empathize with her.

819
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:33,249
You... You really caught her despair,
but also her joy.

820
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,330
Thank you. Awesome.

821
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:40,729
Will we get to see you in anything else
this summer?

822
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,648
No, this is the only job I got.

823
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,684
Oh, so you're here for just the season.

824
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,487
- Yeah.
- Mom. Mom.

825
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,124
This is Lydia, your daughter.

826
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,524
No, I... I know that.

827
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:05,642
Thanks for coming. Weird, embarrassing.

828
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:09,367
Don't be embarrassed.
Don't, please. Please don't be.

829
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,250
Giraffe.

830
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,528
Hammer.

831
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:17,002
Comb.

832
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,564
Oh, I know what that is.

833
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,366
It is like a chicken, but it's not.

834
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:27,204
It is a duck.

835
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:28,686
How about this one?

836
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:30,041
A basketball.

837
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:35,362
- Can you spell water for me backwards?
- Could I spell it forward first?

838
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:41,405
W-A-T-E-R.

839
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:48,210
R-E-T-A-W.

840
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:49,606
That's very good.

841
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,122
Now, can you tell me that name
I asked you to remember?

842
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,449
You always tell me,
and I can never remember it.

843
01:01:56,640 --> 01:02:02,363
Was it John Black, John White,
John Jones, or John Smith?

844
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:03,607
Smith?

845
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:07,208
And his address, was it East Street,
Washington Street...

846
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,801
Humboldt Street, or Main Street?

847
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:14,324
Just to jump in here, we're both
concerned about the rate of deterioration.

848
01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:18,042
- Is that normal?
- Well, every case is different.

849
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:21,881
With familial early onset,
things can go fast.

850
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:27,007
And with people who have a high level
of education, things can go faster.

851
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:30,324
They've managed to sustain
their mental processes...

852
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:34,730
through innovative means
and that delays diagnosis.

853
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:39,448
Now, clearly, Alice's memory is failing,
but she's still incredibly resourceful.

854
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,005
Thank you.

855
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,487
I know you're... You're discouraged...

856
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:47,123
but sometimes I've seen patients
plateau at this point.

857
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:50,129
Don't lose hope.

858
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:54,326
I read your name in the Alzheimer's
Association Care Conference brochure.

859
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:57,766
- You're gonna give a speech.
- Will you be there?

860
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,809
Yes. I'm looking forward to it.

861
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:04,090
I'm going to be away on business
in Minnesota, and I'm worried.

862
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:08,001
Are you sure this is a good idea,
considering the state that she's in?

863
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:11,488
- She's gonna be under a lot of stress.
- It'll be great for her.

864
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:14,963
Everything will be fine.
But you're not worried about it...

865
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:18,209
- ...are you, Alice?
- No, I don't think so.

866
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:24,046
"...various ways to prevent
the production of amyloid...

867
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:26,129
are being tried.

868
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:29,125
There is a new study...

869
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:33,843
that combines base and gamma
secretase inhibitors...

870
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:38,722
and this is one of our best hopes
for the future."

871
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:41,167
That's it. That's the end.

872
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,204
It's good, Mom. It's good.

873
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:48,123
- It's very scientific.
- Yes, well, you know.

874
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:52,803
Yeah. And I'm sure it's valid, but...

875
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,525
But what?

876
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:58,401
I mean, is there any value
in making it a bit more personal?

877
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:00,689
I don't understand what you mean.

878
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:04,726
You know, you're not speaking
to a room of scientists.

879
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:09,323
What I wanna know, really, is, like,
how you feel, what does it feel like?

880
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:11,682
What does this disease mean to you?

881
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:14,486
You weren't listening
because that's all there.

882
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:16,170
That's in the speech.

883
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:17,725
Okay.

884
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:22,969
- Don't ask me, then.
- Oh, no, then I won't ask, then.

885
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:29,125
Hey.

886
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:32,570
Mom. Just give it one more shot, okay?

887
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:36,761
I can't because I have done it already.

888
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:41,247
I... I use this...

889
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,925
Yellow... Yellow thingy to mark it...

890
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:51,685
so I don't have to read the same line
over and over and over and over again.

891
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:53,041
Got it. Totally.

892
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,328
Just print out one more.

893
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:57,443
It took me three days to write this.

894
01:04:57,640 --> 01:05:01,361
- You can print out one more.
- No, it took me three days.

895
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:04,288
- Sorry.
- Three days.

896
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:30,326
Here you are.

897
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:33,171
Thank you.

898
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,848
- Hi.
- Hi.

899
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:48,408
- Hello there.
- Hello.

900
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:52,769
Hi. Oh, Tom, this is my doctor.

901
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:54,371
- My son.
- Travis Benjamin.

902
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,040
- I'm your mother's neurologist.
- My son, Tom.

903
01:05:57,240 --> 01:06:00,050
- Pleasure.
- So how you feeling, Alice?

904
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,890
I think I'm nervous.

905
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:04,731
You're gonna do great. Break a leg.

906
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,002
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

907
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:15,122
It is a great honor to welcome
our next speaker, Alice Howland.

908
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:17,966
A former professor of linguistics
at Columbia...

909
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:22,285
she's written textbooks
and has lectured all over the world.

910
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,926
Alice is living
with early onset Alzheimer's...

911
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:28,448
with the care and support
of her loving family.

912
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,883
Please welcome Alice Howland.

913
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:43,601
Please give me just a minute.

914
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:52,644
"Good morning.

915
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:55,320
It's an honor to be here.

916
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:59,242
The poet Elizabeth Bishop once wrote:

917
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:03,604
'The art of losing isn't hard to master.

918
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:07,600
So many things seem filled
with the intent to be lost...

919
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,804
that their loss is no disaster.'

920
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:12,724
I am not a poet.

921
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:16,851
I am a person living
with early onset Alzheimer's.

922
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:24,049
And as that person, I find myself
learning the art of losing every day.

923
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:33,006
Losing my bearings,
losing objects, losing sleep...

924
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,726
but mostly, losing memories."

925
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:37,724
Oh, no.

926
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:45,524
Thank you.

927
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:50,608
I think I'll try to forget
that just happened.

928
01:07:56,480 --> 01:08:00,121
"All my life, I've accumulated memories.

929
01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:04,609
They've become, in a way,
my most precious possessions.

930
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:07,201
The night I met my husband...

931
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:11,329
the first time I held my textbook
in my hands...

932
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:18,721
having children, making friends,
traveling the world.

933
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:21,002
Everything I accumulated in life...

934
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:24,166
everything I've worked so hard for...

935
01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:27,921
now all that is being ripped away.

936
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:34,566
As you can imagine or as you know,
this is hell.

937
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:37,169
But it gets worse.

938
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:41,485
Who can take us seriously...

939
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:44,644
when we are so far
from who we once were?

940
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:48,686
Our strange behavior
and fumbled sentences...

941
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:55,729
change others' perceptions of us
and our perception of ourselves.

942
01:08:55,920 --> 01:09:02,246
We become ridiculous, incapable, comic.

943
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,801
But this is not who we are.

944
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:06,764
This is our disease.

945
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:10,760
And like any disease, it has a cause...

946
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,128
it has a progression...

947
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:16,051
and it could have a cure.

948
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:20,650
My greatest wish is that my children...

949
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:27,610
our children, the next generation,
do not have to face what I am facing.

950
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:30,560
But for the time being, I'm still alive.

951
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,401
I know I'm alive.

952
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:34,805
I have people I love dearly.

953
01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:39,203
I have things I wanna do with my life.

954
01:09:40,440 --> 01:09:45,321
I rail against myself
for not being able to remember things...

955
01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:50,651
but I still have moments in the day
of pure happiness and joy.

956
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:54,526
And please,
do not think that I am suffering.

957
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:57,201
I am not suffering.

958
01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:59,129
I am struggling.

959
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,927
Struggling to be a part of things...

960
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:08,126
to stay connected to who I once was.

961
01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:12,450
'So live in the moment, ' I tell myself.

962
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:15,047
It's really all I can do.

963
01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:17,208
Live in the moment.

964
01:10:17,440 --> 01:10:21,081
And not beat myself up too much...

965
01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:24,927
And not beat myself up too much...

966
01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:29,011
for mastering the art of losing.

967
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:35,285
One thing I will try to hold on to, though,
is the memory of speaking here today.

968
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:37,526
It will go.

969
01:10:37,720 --> 01:10:39,768
I know it will.

970
01:10:40,240 --> 01:10:42,971
It may be gone by tomorrow...

971
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:49,966
but it means so much
to be talking here today...

972
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:52,641
like my old, ambitious self...

973
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,320
who was so fascinated by communication."

974
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:05,851
Thank you for this opportunity.

975
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:08,961
It means the world to me.

976
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:13,649
Thank you.

977
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:51,362
It's the Mayo Clinic.

978
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:53,882
It would start up next spring.

979
01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:56,361
And I'd be heading up my own team.

980
01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:59,450
So you want us to move to...?

981
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:01,930
It's in Rochester, Minnesota.

982
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:05,171
Well, it could be
a whole new adventure for us.

983
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:09,081
- You might even like it there.
- Everything I know is here.

984
01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:13,569
Anna and Tom
and the babies that are coming.

985
01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:17,361
It's just a two-hour flight.
We'd see them as often as we do now.

986
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:19,405
Ali, this just came up...

987
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:23,281
and they haven't even made
a formal offer, but don't you see?

988
01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:26,729
This is it. They're working
on many cutting-edge treatments.

989
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:28,888
- They've got resources.
- I understand.

990
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:31,845
I understand that work is important.

991
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:34,566
I miss working.

992
01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:41,483
I think you should ask them
if you can start in a year.

993
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,286
It's not academia.
They don't give sabbaticals.

994
01:12:45,480 --> 01:12:49,451
But to pick up and move...

995
01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:53,167
right when... When... When...

996
01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:55,689
Why can't I say what I wanna say?

997
01:12:55,880 --> 01:12:58,690
Ali, one way or the other,
we'll still be together.

998
01:12:58,880 --> 01:13:01,804
So no time off?

999
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:05,163
I can't take a year off.
Financially, that's not an option...

1000
01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:08,404
and God knows where we'll be
further down the line.

1001
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:10,443
That's it then. That's it.

1002
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:14,361
- What?
- Well, you don't... You don't want that.

1003
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:18,804
A year at home with me, watching this.

1004
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:22,486
I didn't say that.

1005
01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:24,682
You didn't have to.

1006
01:14:36,840 --> 01:14:38,171
Ali, what are you doing?

1007
01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:39,646
I can't find it.

1008
01:14:39,840 --> 01:14:42,207
- You can't find what?
- I can't find my phone.

1009
01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:46,086
- It's the middle of the night.
- It's important. It goes off at 8:00...

1010
01:14:46,280 --> 01:14:49,045
and it asks me these questions.
I have to find it.

1011
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:51,971
- We'll look for it in the morning.
- I have to find it.

1012
01:14:52,160 --> 01:14:54,447
- Help me find my phone!
- I'll help tomorrow.

1013
01:14:54,640 --> 01:14:57,246
- I promise you. Tomorrow.
- Help me. No! I want it.

1014
01:14:57,440 --> 01:14:59,568
- I'll help you find it.
- Help me find it.

1015
01:14:59,800 --> 01:15:04,089
- I promise, but come to bed. Come.
- Help me. God. Help me find my phone.

1016
01:15:04,440 --> 01:15:06,920
- Come to bed with me, please.
- All right.

1017
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:10,044
- Please?
- Okay.

1018
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:11,687
Come on.

1019
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:16,042
Since the beginning,
I completely understand the situation.

1020
01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:18,044
Hey.

1021
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:22,803
- Anne?
- I look forward to seeing you guys.

1022
01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:27,444
- Hi.
- Hey, Mama. Hey.

1023
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:30,086
It's Anna, Mom.

1024
01:15:31,040 --> 01:15:33,281
I thought you were my sister.

1025
01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:35,482
- It's okay.
- How are you feeling?

1026
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:38,490
Oh, so uncomfortable.

1027
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:41,883
I can't breathe, I can't sleep.

1028
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:43,605
Was it like this for you?

1029
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:45,723
I didn't have two at a time.

1030
01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:47,490
This is true.

1031
01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:50,524
- Did you get the green curry?
- I did. It's right here.

1032
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,484
- Oh, great.
- Everything on track?

1033
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:55,331
Yes. They made a very generous offer.

1034
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:57,966
- Oh, that's great.
- I guess.

1035
01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:00,242
No, it is. It's the right decision.

1036
01:16:00,720 --> 01:16:02,643
- Would you like some water?
- Yes.

1037
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:05,684
John, what happened?
Who was on the phone?

1038
01:16:05,880 --> 01:16:09,168
That was that hospital, honey,
the Mayo Clinic.

1039
01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:10,771
Is someone sick?

1040
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:12,490
No. Nothing's wrong.

1041
01:16:12,680 --> 01:16:15,126
Everything's absolutely fine.

1042
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:18,922
Oh, my God.

1043
01:16:21,240 --> 01:16:23,766
Oh, no.

1044
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:29,208
I was looking for that last night.

1045
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:34,129
- That was a month ago.
- Right.

1046
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:54,848
Ali. Hey.

1047
01:17:57,120 --> 01:17:59,646
Wake up, baby. It's time to wake up.

1048
01:18:00,680 --> 01:18:02,444
It's time to get dressed.

1049
01:18:02,640 --> 01:18:04,529
I'm gonna help you.

1050
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:08,880
I've got some very good news for you.

1051
01:18:15,600 --> 01:18:18,331
Let me help you with your pants. Come.

1052
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:22,208
No, I... I want my green one.

1053
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:25,404
Oh, no, I think this one
will be really, really nice.

1054
01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:27,568
Let's put that one on.

1055
01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:29,290
Okay.

1056
01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:35,170
Okay. Lean on me.

1057
01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:38,491
Okay, hold on.

1058
01:18:47,480 --> 01:18:49,130
Oh, there she is. Hey.

1059
01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:51,322
What's the matter? She looks terrible.

1060
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:54,046
Well, she just delivered
the babies, honey.

1061
01:18:57,400 --> 01:19:02,930
- Anna, you had your babies.
- I did, Mom.

1062
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:06,402
- This is Allison.
- You look so beautiful.

1063
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:08,204
- Thank you.
- That's Charlie Jr.

1064
01:19:08,400 --> 01:19:10,129
- Little Charlie.
- My goodness.

1065
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:11,924
Yes.

1066
01:19:14,920 --> 01:19:18,049
- There you go.
- Can I hold her?

1067
01:19:18,360 --> 01:19:20,283
Is that a good idea?

1068
01:19:21,080 --> 01:19:23,481
I know how to hold a baby.

1069
01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:27,601
That's okay. Mom, you can sit
right there in that chair.

1070
01:19:28,320 --> 01:19:31,324
There. That's good.

1071
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:35,729
There we go. All right.

1072
01:19:36,160 --> 01:19:38,288
Hi.

1073
01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:41,491
Something tells me
you've done this before.

1074
01:19:51,440 --> 01:19:53,010
She looks like you.

1075
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:06,085
There are days she knows
where she is, certainly...

1076
01:20:06,320 --> 01:20:09,130
but there are just as many days
when she doesn't.

1077
01:20:09,720 --> 01:20:13,202
Maybe she thinks she's a child
back in New Hampshire or who knows?

1078
01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:16,688
It's happening more and more.
She doesn't know what's going on.

1079
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:18,530
Yeah, I just...

1080
01:20:18,720 --> 01:20:22,122
I keep thinking about what she said
in that speech, you know...

1081
01:20:22,320 --> 01:20:24,243
how important her memories are
to who she is.

1082
01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:26,249
Yes, but that was months ago.

1083
01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:28,966
Guys, this is difficult for all of us.

1084
01:20:29,160 --> 01:20:32,721
But it's important to remember
who Alice was.

1085
01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:35,082
She would not want to be a burden.

1086
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:38,045
Anna, you have the babies,
you wanna go back to work.

1087
01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:41,449
You're not in a position
to care for her, not seriously, Tom.

1088
01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:43,768
And I can't keep Mayo waiting.

1089
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:47,521
The beginning of this month, I am gone.
I want to take her with me.

1090
01:20:47,720 --> 01:20:52,089
I will get her the best possible care,
and once she's adjusted to Minnesota...

1091
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:56,006
she will be happier for it,
and so will all of us.

1092
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:02,682
- Lydia's gonna flip.
- Oh, so let her.

1093
01:21:02,920 --> 01:21:05,969
- Well, she is.
- Well, she has no right to.

1094
01:21:06,160 --> 01:21:08,891
If she cared, she wouldn't be
on the other side of the country.

1095
01:21:09,080 --> 01:21:11,287
Hot in here.

1096
01:21:16,640 --> 01:21:18,722
Who is he exactly?

1097
01:21:18,920 --> 01:21:22,720
His name is Bill Thompson.
He's a manager.

1098
01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:25,446
Why is he so important?

1099
01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:28,609
He'll open doors for me.

1100
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,610
Get me into auditions
I wouldn't be able to get into.

1101
01:21:31,800 --> 01:21:33,564
Got me some good headshots.

1102
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:35,603
I see.

1103
01:21:35,840 --> 01:21:37,808
What's his name?

1104
01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:40,044
Bill Thompson.

1105
01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:42,049
He's with Thompson and Gould...

1106
01:21:42,240 --> 01:21:44,527
if you wanna look him up. They're good.

1107
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:46,882
Kettle's boiling.

1108
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:51,484
Where's Elena?

1109
01:21:51,760 --> 01:21:54,889
I'm making myself a cup of tea.

1110
01:21:55,280 --> 01:21:59,842
Cool. Where's your caretaker?

1111
01:22:01,440 --> 01:22:04,046
Elena's not here today.

1112
01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:08,086
Her daughter's sick.
She's at the doctor.

1113
01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:11,804
So you're alone?

1114
01:22:13,000 --> 01:22:16,288
I can make myself a cup of tea.

1115
01:22:16,880 --> 01:22:18,450
Okay.

1116
01:22:19,880 --> 01:22:21,370
Okay.

1117
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:24,884
You wanna check out my headshot?
If I send you a link...

1118
01:22:25,120 --> 01:22:28,681
can you open the file,
download the file?

1119
01:22:29,280 --> 01:22:31,009
Yes.

1120
01:22:32,160 --> 01:22:33,605
Good.

1121
01:22:34,480 --> 01:22:36,244
Okay.

1122
01:22:37,920 --> 01:22:39,809
I'll talk to you later. I love you.

1123
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:42,571
- Bye.
- Bye.

1124
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,201
Hi.

1125
01:23:16,400 --> 01:23:21,122
Alice, I'm you, and I have something
very important to say to you.

1126
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:26,728
You've reached that point, the point
where you can't answer the questions.

1127
01:23:26,920 --> 01:23:30,083
So this is the next logical step.

1128
01:23:30,280 --> 01:23:32,123
I'm sure of it.

1129
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,967
Because what's happened to you. The...

1130
01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:39,085
You know, the Alzheimer's.
You could see it as tragic, but...

1131
01:23:39,640 --> 01:23:41,802
your life has been anything but tragic.

1132
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:45,083
You have had a remarkable career...

1133
01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:47,044
and a great marriage...

1134
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:49,641
and three beautiful children.

1135
01:23:52,160 --> 01:23:55,369
All right, listen to me.

1136
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:57,921
This is important.

1137
01:23:58,120 --> 01:24:00,964
Make sure that you're alone
and go to your bedroom.

1138
01:24:01,160 --> 01:24:04,403
In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

1139
01:24:04,840 --> 01:24:06,683
Open the top drawer.

1140
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:10,521
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

1141
01:24:10,720 --> 01:24:14,122
It says, "Take all pills with water."

1142
01:24:14,360 --> 01:24:17,204
Now, there are a lot of pills
in that bottle...

1143
01:24:17,440 --> 01:24:22,321
but it's very important
that you swallow them all, okay?

1144
01:24:22,520 --> 01:24:26,161
And then lie down...

1145
01:24:26,360 --> 01:24:28,203
and go to sleep.

1146
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:34,327
And don't tell anyone
what you're doing, okay?

1147
01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:06,284
In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

1148
01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:08,369
Open the top drawer.

1149
01:25:08,560 --> 01:25:12,042
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

1150
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,562
It says, "Take all pills with water."

1151
01:25:18,520 --> 01:25:22,889
Dresser with lamp. Dresser...

1152
01:25:23,080 --> 01:25:26,243
Blue lamp. Dresser.

1153
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:41,604
Make sure that you're alone
and go to your bedroom.

1154
01:25:41,800 --> 01:25:45,202
In your bedroom,
there's a dresser with a blue lamp.

1155
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:47,323
Open the top drawer.

1156
01:25:47,520 --> 01:25:51,127
In the back of the drawer,
there's a bottle with pills in it.

1157
01:25:51,320 --> 01:25:54,767
It says, "Take all pills with water."

1158
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:57,606
Now, there are a lot of pills
in that bottle...

1159
01:25:57,840 --> 01:26:02,971
but it's very important
that you swallow them all, okay?

1160
01:26:03,160 --> 01:26:08,769
And then lie down and go to sleep.

1161
01:26:11,360 --> 01:26:16,082
And don't tell anyone
what you're doing, okay?

1162
01:26:34,960 --> 01:26:36,610
Hello?

1163
01:27:09,640 --> 01:27:12,723
May I have a cookies-and-cream
and a chocolate hazelnut?

1164
01:27:13,200 --> 01:27:14,531
You know what you want.

1165
01:27:14,720 --> 01:27:16,848
Cookies-and-cream
and chocolate hazelnut.

1166
01:27:17,080 --> 01:27:20,289
You usually have the original
with blueberries and coconut.

1167
01:27:20,480 --> 01:27:21,527
Okay.

1168
01:27:21,720 --> 01:27:24,849
Original with blueberries and coconut,
please.

1169
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:37,565
Ali, you see that building over there?

1170
01:27:37,920 --> 01:27:39,524
Do you know what that is?

1171
01:27:40,520 --> 01:27:42,966
I don't think I know that.

1172
01:27:43,600 --> 01:27:46,888
That's Columbia,
where you used to teach.

1173
01:27:47,760 --> 01:27:51,242
Someone told me I was a good teacher.

1174
01:27:51,440 --> 01:27:54,171
Yes. You were.

1175
01:27:56,280 --> 01:27:57,770
I was really smart.

1176
01:28:00,080 --> 01:28:03,004
You were the smartest person
I've ever met.

1177
01:28:09,240 --> 01:28:13,723
Ali, do you still wanna be here?

1178
01:28:17,520 --> 01:28:19,204
I'm not done yet.

1179
01:28:19,400 --> 01:28:20,731
Do we have to go?

1180
01:28:22,400 --> 01:28:23,811
No.

1181
01:28:24,960 --> 01:28:26,610
Don't worry.

1182
01:28:26,800 --> 01:28:28,643
Take your time.

1183
01:28:52,760 --> 01:28:56,810
- Is this all of your stuff?
- I shipped some boxes as well.

1184
01:28:57,280 --> 01:28:59,567
Are you sad to leave L.A.?

1185
01:28:59,880 --> 01:29:02,724
I'm trying to convince myself
I'm an East Coast girl.

1186
01:29:02,920 --> 01:29:04,524
Where's Mom?

1187
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:06,683
She's sleeping.

1188
01:29:10,600 --> 01:29:12,728
Well, here it is.

1189
01:29:13,200 --> 01:29:15,043
Your old room.

1190
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:25,924
So how did it work out
with your manager?

1191
01:29:26,880 --> 01:29:30,521
It's a West Coast company, you know.
Not so good.

1192
01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:34,402
Well, that's too bad.
Are you sure you don't mind?

1193
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:38,367
We've had this conversation.

1194
01:29:39,120 --> 01:29:40,610
Okay.

1195
01:29:40,800 --> 01:29:44,725
It's New York City.
I'll audition, do theater.

1196
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:48,444
I know that this is where I need to be,
though, so...

1197
01:29:49,520 --> 01:29:51,887
You're a better man than I am.

1198
01:29:53,760 --> 01:29:57,367
Dad, I've got her, okay?

1199
01:30:42,880 --> 01:30:45,247
It's getting pretty cold, huh?

1200
01:30:45,960 --> 01:30:47,769
Wanna head home?

1201
01:30:49,360 --> 01:30:51,283
Come on, let's do it.

1202
01:31:15,280 --> 01:31:17,089
- Hey.
- Hi.

1203
01:31:17,680 --> 01:31:18,966
How was your walk?

1204
01:31:19,200 --> 01:31:20,770
I don't think I know you.

1205
01:31:20,960 --> 01:31:23,088
- Yes, you do.
- Hey, Mom, it's Elena.

1206
01:31:23,280 --> 01:31:25,203
I'm gonna get you some juice, okay?

1207
01:31:25,400 --> 01:31:28,927
Come, let's take off your coat
and go inside.

1208
01:31:45,360 --> 01:31:49,001
"Night flight to San Francisco,
chase the moon across America.

1209
01:31:49,760 --> 01:31:52,730
God, it's been years
since I was on a plane.

1210
01:31:53,040 --> 01:31:56,283
When we hit 35,000 feet,
we'll have reached the tropopause...

1211
01:31:56,480 --> 01:31:59,689
the great belt of calm air.

1212
01:32:00,840 --> 01:32:05,289
As close to the ozone as I'll get,
I... I dreamed we were there.

1213
01:32:05,960 --> 01:32:09,009
The plane leapt the tropopause...

1214
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:14,088
the safe air, and attained the outer rim,
the ozone, which was ragged and torn...

1215
01:32:14,280 --> 01:32:18,330
patches of it threadbare
as old cheesecloth, and that was...

1216
01:32:19,080 --> 01:32:20,889
frightening.

1217
01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:23,124
But I saw something only I could see...

1218
01:32:23,320 --> 01:32:26,449
because of my astonishing ability
to see such things.

1219
01:32:28,480 --> 01:32:31,131
Souls were rising...

1220
01:32:32,320 --> 01:32:34,926
from the earth far below,
souls of the dead...

1221
01:32:35,120 --> 01:32:37,566
of people who'd perished...

1222
01:32:37,760 --> 01:32:40,764
from famine, from war,
from the plague...

1223
01:32:42,560 --> 01:32:48,249
and they floated up,
like skydivers in reverse...

1224
01:32:48,440 --> 01:32:53,128
limbs all akimbo, wheeling, spinning.

1225
01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:56,966
The souls of these departed
joined hands, clasped ankles...

1226
01:32:57,160 --> 01:33:01,210
and formed a web, a great net of souls.

1227
01:33:02,680 --> 01:33:06,605
And the souls were three-atom
oxygen molecules of the stuff of ozone...

1228
01:33:06,800 --> 01:33:10,850
and the outer rim absorbed them,
and was repaired.

1229
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:17,445
Because nothing is lost forever.

1230
01:33:21,120 --> 01:33:23,930
In this world,
there's a kind of painful progress.

1231
01:33:24,160 --> 01:33:27,164
A longing for what we've left behind...

1232
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:31,208
and dreaming ahead.

1233
01:33:32,280 --> 01:33:34,487
At least I think that's so."

1234
01:33:36,920 --> 01:33:38,570
That's it.

1235
01:33:47,680 --> 01:33:48,920
Hey.

1236
01:33:52,560 --> 01:33:54,528
Did you like that?

1237
01:33:58,720 --> 01:34:02,088
What I just read, did you like it?

1238
01:34:02,880 --> 01:34:04,450
Yeah.

1239
01:34:10,720 --> 01:34:12,484
And what...?

1240
01:34:13,680 --> 01:34:15,364
What was it about?

1241
01:34:19,440 --> 01:34:21,090
Love.

1242
01:34:21,840 --> 01:34:22,887
Yeah. Love.

1243
01:34:24,000 --> 01:34:25,684
Yeah, Mom.

1244
01:34:27,720 --> 01:34:29,848
It was about love.