Lasers and Feelings: ASSHOLES...IN...SPAAAACE

Never tell your password to anyone.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
8:00 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: USS stands for United States Ship, checkmate
8:00 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: :smug
8:00 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: :
8:00 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: sup Dan
8:00 PM - Dwarfy77: Dan, we're naming the ship, and captain
8:00 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: heyo
8:00 PM - Dwarfy77: Standing name is USS Queen Of Hearts
8:00 PM - MeltingData: USS really means that?
8:00 PM - MeltingData: thats stupid
8:00 PM - MeltingData: should mean something cool
8:00 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: actually yeah I think so
8:00 PM - Dwarfy77: You didn't know
8:01 PM - MeltingData: i never thought about it
8:01 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Navy_ships
8:01 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: edumacate yourself
8:01 PM - Dwarfy77: USS is United States Ship, HMS is Her Majesty's Ship
8:01 PM - MeltingData: boats are lame
8:01 PM - MeltingData: i like planes
8:02 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: yeah but spaceships are kinda like planes and boats at once
8:02 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: but in space
8:02 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: ergo they're cool
8:02 PM - MeltingData: yeah
8:02 PM - Dwarfy77: Also, two advantages, one disadvantage
8:02 PM - Dwarfy77: Advantages
8:02 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: oh man is this system made by the same guy who made Trollbabe? cause Trollbabe's pretty rad
8:02 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: Advantage: I'm a crewmember
8:02 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: Disadvantage: There is only 1 of me
8:02 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: just noticed the links on the side
8:02 PM - Dwarfy77: Fast, Nimble, Well-Armed, Powerful Shields, Superior Sensors, Cloaking Device, or Fightercraft
8:03 PM - Dwarfy77: Pick 2
8:03 PM - MeltingData: Well-Armed, Cloaking Device?
8:03 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: aight: advantages: Well Armed (we have Dan) and Cloaking device sounds decent too
8:03 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: disadvantages: Horrible Circuit Breakers 'cause explosions
8:03 PM - Dwarfy77: Cloaking Device and Fightercraft would be hilarious
8:03 PM - Dwarfy77: "HUNDREDS OF SHUTTLES, WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!?!?!"
8:04 PM - Dwarfy77: Right, Well Armed and Cloaking device, does everyone want Horrible Circuit Breakers
8:05 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: yes
8:05 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: *shrug*
8:05 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: c'mon guys
8:05 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: explosions
8:05 PM - MeltingData: uh
8:05 PM - MeltingData: i didnt look at the disadvantages
8:05 PM - MeltingData: one sec
8:05 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: yeah but its us exploding
8:05 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: still
8:05 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: explosions
8:05 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: thats generally bad
8:05 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: man that's a hell of a negative attitude you're rocking there Dan
8:05 PM - MeltingData: HCB sounds good
8:06 PM - MeltingData: i trust ciaster on this, he's good at spacing
8:07 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: *shrug*
8:07 PM - Dwarfy77: HCB it is?
8:07 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: guys help me come up with a name for an android obsessed with ancient 1990s culture
8:07 PM - Dwarfy77: Pfft
8:07 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: "Ciaster"
8:07 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: beep boop
8:07 PM - MeltingData: i call being the sexy doctor
8:07 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: gimme the rules again
8:07 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: I intend to be quoting What Is Love
8:07 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: a lot
8:08 PM - Dwarfy77: https://www.dropbox.com/s/d97f2mjsnz0i630/1399479465611.pdf
8:08 PM - Dwarfy77: Rules
8:08 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: so whats data being is ciaster is android
8:09 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: 02:07 - MeltingData: i call being the sexy doctor
8:09 PM - MeltingData: ^
8:09 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: oh right sexy is a thing
8:09 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: so ciaster is an android, whats your role
8:09 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: soldier
8:10 PM - Dwarfy77: Soldier, and a doctor so far
8:10 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: I'll be engineer then, if we're gonna have loisy breakers
8:10 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: lousy
8:11 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: now which is better, intrepid or savvy?
8:11 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: dude you're taking this way too seriously
8:11 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: :v
8:11 PM - MeltingData: flip a coin
8:11 PM - MeltingData: heads - intrepid
8:11 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: savvy
8:11 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: cant help it, I take everything serious
8:12 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: seriously
8:12 PM - MeltingData: no you dont
8:12 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: are you serious
8:12 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: because im serious
8:12 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: you shouldn't be
8:13 PM - Dwarfy77: Ahem, MB is far from serious sometimes
8:13 PM - MeltingData: if you're gonna be serious
8:13 PM - MeltingData: name your guy Sam
8:13 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: aight I'm C00LM3IST3R-001, the Android Soldier on a quest for sexy alien babes and finding out what exactly is love
8:13 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: bring it
8:13 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: to show you how serious i am i will give my savvy engineer a serious name
8:14 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: I am Richard Breaker, the engineeringest engineer to ever engineer engines
8:14 PM - MeltingData: alright i'll be Bruce Donkchamp, the most attractive doctor alive
8:15 PM - Dwarfy77: I see Data is prepared, for SS13 the game
8:15 PM - MeltingData: (he doesnt have a medical license)
8:15 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: aight so I take it Data's character looks like George Clooney
8:15 PM - MeltingData: yeah pretty much
8:16 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2011/galleries/george-clooney/george-clooney-01-435.jpg in this phase
8:16 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: check out dat mullet
8:16 PM - MeltingData: perfect, but needs moer stubble
8:16 PM - MeltingData: more*
8:16 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: I dunno ER era Clooney wasn't that stubbley
8:17 PM - MeltingData: yeah, but my guy will be
8:17 PM - Dwarfy77: He looks like a younger Jeremy Clarkson
8:17 PM - MeltingData: stubble is required for being a sexy doctor
8:17 PM - Dwarfy77: And your goal?
8:18 PM - MeltingData: solving weird space mysteries
8:18 PM - MeltingData: mostly the one about why he just can't find anyone as attractive as he is
8:19 PM - Dwarfy77: Dan, et toi?
8:19 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: my goal?
8:20 PM - Dwarfy77: Yes
8:20 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: Fixing the damage that these crazy kids keep getting the ship into
8:21 PM - Dwarfy77: Excellent, I have to make a quick family phonecall though, so give me like, 5 minutes?
8:22 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: well smas isn't here yet anyway so I don't think anyone will mind
8:22 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: smas isn't showing up I thought, isn't that what he said last week?
8:22 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: hes online
8:22 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: and why he wanted to do persona so bad
8:22 PM - Being tracked by the CIA entered chat.
8:23 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: guess not
8:23 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: yeppers
8:23 PM - Being tracked by the CIA: sup mangs of various sorts
8:23 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: sup dude
8:23 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: actually I don't think we met before, I'm Ciaster, I've been playing rpgs with these fuckers for over a year, and I'm kinda drunk right now
8:23 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: you seem to be hitting the alcohol a lot more often
8:24 PM - Being tracked by the CIA: I've heard of you, so don't sweat it :p
8:24 PM - B-Rock "The Islamic Shock" Obama: don't worry it's just a few beers
8:24 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: mhm
8:24 PM - Being tracked by the CIA: I'm Smas, I've joined these asshats back in the winter
8:24 PM - Being tracked by the CIA: and I've been getting roped into their bullshit ever since
8:24 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: rude :c
8:24 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: we're like, premium asshats at the least
8:25 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: man I wish I could have roped you into playing burst
8:25 PM - Being tracked by the CIA: actually, I think I'm just going to spectate this one, I just remembered I have movies to watch :u
8:25 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: ciaster the magical girl
8:25 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: that would have been like
8:26 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: THE best shit
8:26 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: there was no way he was ever playing that lol
8:26 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge: what kind of a poley fag doesnt want to pretend to be a lesbian teenage girl with magic
8:26 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah did you forget I was allergic to anime
8:26 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: not /everyones/ a lesbian
8:27 PM - sUiCiDaL Scribe Senpai McBighuge has changed their name to Dick Breaker.
8:27 PM - Dick Breaker: dude you made out with satoya like 12 times
8:27 PM - Dick Breaker: and val
8:27 PM - Dick Breaker: and i bet you totes wanna go with princess to
8:27 PM - Dick Breaker: o
8:27 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: willingly like once
8:27 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: get at me
8:27 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: everyones hoppin on the chrono-dick
8:27 PM - Dick Breaker: you also made out with yourself
8:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: coinflips are harsh :v
8:28 PM - Dick Breaker: the other option was ramona
8:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: thats why coinflips are harsh :v
8:28 PM - Dick Breaker: that's like 3 different girls right there that sarah kissed
8:28 PM - Dwarfy77 has changed their name to Admiral of the Fleet.
8:28 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Right
8:28 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Im back
8:28 PM - Dick Breaker: you are as lesbian as val
8:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i wasnt talking about me, sarah is pretty obvs a lesbian :v
8:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: saiko isnt~
8:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Why are we talking MB
8:29 PM - Dick Breaker: nigger that is what i was talking about
8:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: just cuz
8:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can we stop talking about anime lesbians please
8:29 PM - Dick Breaker: because we cant talk about anything else
8:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: no
8:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: never
8:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: god I'm glad I still have a beer left
8:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: anyway lets get to spacing
8:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Right, lemme type out a nice lil intro
8:29 PM - Dick Breaker: i want my flask but its so far away
8:29 PM - Dick Breaker: why do i keep it on that high shelf
8:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: Dan: the laziest alcoholic
8:29 PM - Dick Breaker: i have to stand up and get it
8:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i want more sour patch kids
8:29 PM - Dick Breaker: ugh
8:30 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: and since im productive i can actually do things i want c:
8:30 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: so ill brb
8:30 PM - Dick Breaker: ciaster come get my flask would you
8:30 PM - Dick Breaker: and give it to me
8:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: sure I'll just uh walk these 3000 miles or whatever
8:30 PM - Dick Breaker: cool thanks
8:30 PM - Dick Breaker: be sure to get here soon
8:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Space, the final frontier, filled with brave heros. However, the three amigos sitting in the cantina, and getting sloshed were not heros, merely officers aboard the USS Queen of Hearts, a stealth vessel. Chatting on, and ignoring their jobs, as the robot bartender sat patiently
8:33 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "So I'm sittin here, clipboard in hand, the lady's crying her eyes out, and I gotta find a way to tell 'er that her husbands dead without incriminating myself! Whaddaya do in a situation like that, right?"
8:33 PM - Dick Breaker: "Damned breakers went again a few hours ago, I swear if it wasn't for my gratuitious amounts of chewing gum and duct tape this bucket of scrap wouldn't be flying right now."
8:33 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Tryin to tell a story here, Dick."
8:33 PM - Dick Breaker: "Yeah well them breakers like to tell their own stories every few days."
8:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "GIMME ONE MORE SHOT OF NANO-OIL, BUDDY."
8:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "The breakers ain't got families or whatever."
8:34 PM - Dick Breaker: "Stories about how breakable they are. But by all means, continue with your story."
8:34 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The Boozemeister 8000 beeped in reply, dispensing a cup full of black liquid from its chest
8:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "BEEP, DRINK ON, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"
8:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Anyway, so I told her he died of diabetes overdose, after a lengthy battle with the evil Zorhansen Worms that had clogged his cystic heart canals."
8:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "APPRECIATE IT, B-MAN."
8:36 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I take a sip of my drink, "I don't even know if that particular species /has/ a heart. Sure seemed like it after I kicked her outta my apartment the next day."
8:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((Five minutes in, and you've made my favorite character))
8:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "MAN, HOW DO YOU DO IT, BRUCE?"
8:37 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I give my stubbled cleft chin a rub. "Rugged good looks and a silver tongue? Ask my secretary. I mean nurse, whatever."
8:37 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I NEVER GET THIS KINDA LUCK. SIGH."
8:38 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Cheer up buddy, just gotta find the right robot. You'll get some chromed tail one way or another, I'm sure."
8:38 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Before Bruce could continue any of his sexual escapades (Sexcapades?), his communicator beeped, loudly
8:38 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I flip it out of my pocket. "Yello, this is Donkchamp."
8:39 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You recognize the voice as Bertha, the hamplanet of a medical director, and your boss. "Listen here Casanova, normally I don't care when you skip out on work to get drunk, because you're hopeless. But there's a situation unfolding, and we need all the help we can get"
8:40 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "You know me too well. What's the situation? Can't get out of your chair?"
8:41 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "That only happened, four times? Fuckin forget it, the ship's entertainer, Admiral Honk came in here, apparently security caught him trying to sodomize the vending machine, and thought it might be brain damage. The scans we got, well, they're unusual"
8:42 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Hey, it's the only tail he'll ever get, can't blame him. I'll be right over."
8:42 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I hang up without waiting for a reply.
8:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WHAT'S SHAKIN' MY MAN?"
8:43 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Nothing much, captain's making advances on the vending machine again. Probably cystic mitosis or something."
8:44 PM - Dick Breaker: "He expect the vending machine to blow him like the breakers blow?"
8:44 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((Not the captain, the clown named Admiral Honk :V))
8:44 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "LOVE HURTS, LOVE HURTS."
8:45 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ((bruce doesn't care or distinguish between the two))
8:45 PM - Dick Breaker: "Hey robo, wouldn't that machine be a better mate for you than him?"
8:45 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Nice one, Dick. Anyway, I gotta go check it out. Peace."
8:45 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I get up and exit stage left, heading for the medbay.
8:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "PLEASE, SHE'S LIKE, WAY TOO FLAT."
8:46 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Do the others follow?"
8:46 PM - Dick Breaker: I nod, cupping my chin and humming in agreement.
8:46 PM - Dick Breaker: Well it's not really our problem why would we follow
8:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well, I have nothing better to do so I'm gonna go with Bruce
8:46 PM - Dick Breaker: but yeah guess I'll follow so I have people to complain to
8:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :V
8:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I'M GOING WITH YA. TOO TIRED OF DRINKING MY SORROWS AWAY."
8:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WELL, IT'S EITHER THAT, OR A MISALIGNED CHEST PLATE."
8:47 PM - Dick Breaker: "I might as well make sure he didn't blow any breakers by pushing the vending machine too hard."
8:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Walking down the halls, things are eerily quiet, other than the ever present hum of the engine, people walk by silently, nothing happening
8:48 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Little quiet. Wonder where my fanclub is."
8:48 PM - Dick Breaker: "Quiet is good. Means things are working."
8:48 PM - Dick Breaker: "Either that or they stopped working and I'll need to fix them later."
8:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not in the medbay, that's for sure, walking into the medbay, the daily chaos has been replaced by orderly treatment, and a peaceful queue of patients
8:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Something is up
8:49 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "This is terrible, everyone looks like they know what they're doing! I'll go find Big Bertha or whatever."
8:49 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "C'mon, gang."
8:49 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I go find Big Bertha or whatever.
8:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I shrug my giant metal pauldrons and follow 'cause really, what else would I do?
8:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: shit I lost my bottle opener
8:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You find her in the operating theatre, looking over a colorfully dressed corpse on a table
8:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((Use your teeth, like a manly man))
8:51 PM - Dick Breaker: he's a pole
8:51 PM - Dick Breaker: not a manly man
8:51 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "TOO MUCH LOVE HAS KILLED HIM, LOOKS HE HASN'T MADE UP HIS MIND."
8:51 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I stroll in with a cigarette lit, hands in pockets. "Situation looks grim. Unlike him, of course."
8:52 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh hey there it is
8:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "That's not the worst part, here look" Pulling back the cover on his head, she revealed the top of his scalp was removed, looking in to where the brain sat
8:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Or rather
8:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Where it should sit
8:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Fucking explain that Bruce, cause I'm coming up empty!"
8:53 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "So is he."
8:54 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Anyway, it's probably an external hemorrhage of his AOL. Or he's just dumb."
8:54 PM - Dick Breaker: "He /was/ thinking with his cock when he fucked the machine."
8:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "DICK, THIS IS BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE."
8:55 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Don't tell the Dick what he can do with his cock, he would know."
8:55 PM - Dick Breaker: "I deal with broken breakers, not empty skulls and sodmoized vending machines."
8:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Look, Bruce if it was any sort of Hemorrhage, there'd be blood, it's clean, like he was disected! Look, I've got everyone looking over the scan results, so you aren't needed here, but, there are some things you can do"
8:56 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Dissections aren't supposed to have blood?"
8:57 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Sssshit."
8:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "ANOTHER HERO - ANOTHER MINDLESS CRIME."
8:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Nice job dipshit, you're off surgical duty of any sort for a month"
8:57 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Already was for 6, baby. Hasn't stopped me yet."
8:57 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Now what can I do?"
8:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "ANYWAY. WHAT CAN WE DO YA FOR, MA'AM? HA HA."
8:58 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Anyways, security were the last ones who saw him before he died, seems like a logical start, or you could go through his stuff and see if anything interesting comes up"
8:58 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Or hell, knowing you, ignore me and go to the bar is the most likely option"
8:58 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "DIBS ON THE STUFF."
8:58 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Please, I take my cases very seriously."
8:58 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WHISPERING. I BET HONK HAD SOME GOOD BOOZE."
8:59 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Ooh, nice idea. Go check, clowns have all sorts of shit."
8:59 PM - Dick Breaker: "I doubt he had oil though. Not your kinda stuff, Chromey."
8:59 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WELL, STANLEY IN ENGINEERING WAS WORKING ON A WHISKEY SYNTHETIZER FOR MY CHASSIS, SO."
9:00 PM - Dick Breaker: "That sunnova bitch! THAT'S gotta be what keeps blowing all the breakers in engineering. Better tell that prick to stop plugging his experiments in before he breaks something important."
9:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Go through stuff then?
9:01 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: Y
9:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yea
9:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Possesions of the late, great, Admiral Honk
9:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One (1) pink PDF, covered in lubricant, fully powered
9:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Three (3) bananas, ripe
9:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One (1) banana peel
9:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One (1) makeup kit
9:03 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One (1) flask, empty
9:03 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One (1) handgrenade
9:03 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ((a PDF like, the file type?))
9:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I pick up the flask and shake it around.
9:03 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((PDA, sorry :V))
9:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "EMPTY. SHIT."
9:03 PM - Dick Breaker: "Man, this guy was pretty honked up."
9:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I'm gonna grab the PDA and connect it to my data slot.
9:03 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I pick up the hand grenade. "Now this looks like an important medical tool. I'll be confiscating it."
9:03 PM - Dick Breaker: it's already pre-lubed, how nice
9:03 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I pocket ye hand grenade.
9:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: (I'm an android, I'm bound to have a data slot somewhere)
9:04 PM - Dick Breaker: I'll take the bananas and peel
9:04 PM - Dick Breaker: they will surely come in handy
9:04 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You hook up the PDA, and find a variety of spam messages
9:04 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "HM. WHY ARE YOU HUMANS SO OBSESSED WITH PENIS SIZE?"
9:05 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Penis enlargement, message now!" "Handgrenades 4 cheap!!!" "Hot, avalible, Martian girls."
9:05 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One stands out, however, from the Roboticist
9:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "OOH, GIRLS."
9:05 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Appointment today?"
9:05 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Girls?"
9:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I open the Roboticist message... with my MIIIIND
9:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "JUST SOME SPAM. ALSO, REMIND ME TO DO A VIRUS WIPE LATER ON."
9:06 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Will do."
9:06 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You open the message from the Roboticist
9:06 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Dick, status report on bananas."
9:07 PM - Dick Breaker: I peel and consume one
9:07 PM - Dick Breaker: Thumbs up
9:07 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: It reads, "Look, I dont know why you want to do this, but, you've been asking for months. So, come on down, we'll remove your ass, and build you your god damn buttbot, just, leave me alone, alright?
9:07 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Excellent. We'll need those later in the autopsy."
9:07 PM - Dick Breaker: "The perfect snack for shlepping through the crawlspaces to get to some breakers."
9:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "MESSAGE READOUT MODE: ON."
9:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "Look, I dont know why you want to do this, but, you've been asking for months. So, come on down, we'll remove your ass, and build you your god damn buttbot, just, leave me alone, alright?
9:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "
9:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: too lazy to type it out in caps
9:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so pretend I did
9:08 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :V
9:08 PM - Dick Breaker: gg
9:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "MESSAGE READOUT MODE: OFF."
9:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "BUTTBOT. CURIOUS."
9:08 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Ass removal without my approval? As head surgeon, I am deeply offended."
9:09 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY."
9:10 PM - Dick Breaker: "An ass-sized robot seems the perfect size for rolling through crawlspaces to reach breakers and, uh, break them. If you're investigating this count me in, I want to know more."
9:12 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Alright, we've found all we can. Let's go hit up security."
9:12 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "FUCK THE SECURITY, STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND. THE LAST TIME, THEY THREW OUR ASSES IN THE BRIG."
9:12 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "LET'S DO THIS OURSELVES."
9:13 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Any objections, Dick?"
9:14 PM - Dick Breaker: "I'm with robo, let's check this oursevles."
9:14 PM - Dick Breaker: "Could be a shipwide conspiracy."
9:14 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Alright, neat-o. Catch ya later, fatty." I shoot her some finger guns and slide out the door.
9:15 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well I guess we follow him?
9:16 PM - Dick Breaker: isn't he going to security? I dunno
9:16 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hm
9:16 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: nah
9:16 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i was just going out of the medbay actually :v
9:16 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 03:12 - C00LM3IST3R-001: "LET'S DO THIS OURSELVES."
03:13 - Bruce Donkchamp: "Any objections, Dick?"
I assumed that meant he's on board with my NWA inspired plan
9:16 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So, all going together?
9:16 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hell yeah let's stick together
9:17 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: never split up, that's the worst thing
9:17 PM - Dick Breaker: tell that to the faggot burst players
9:17 PM - Dick Breaker: they were  literally all in their own chats last sunday
9:17 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :V
9:17 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: actually that's how low-level CP2020's gonna start so I shouldn't be judging
9:17 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: :v
9:18 PM - Dick Breaker: I was handling 4 seperate combats at the same time
9:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: but I'm gonna be taking turns and have the option for people to play as NPCs should they choose so
9:18 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i blame smas, he's the worst offender
9:18 PM - Dick Breaker: def
9:18 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Anyways, making the way down to roboticist, you actually hear familiar noises. Servos whirring, beeping, and a constant computerized voice yelling "BUTT"
9:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: anyway that's neither the time nor the place for party split chat
9:19 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I approach cautiously, with my phase pistol set to stun.
9:19 PM - Dick Breaker: I want a pipe wrench
9:19 PM - Dick Breaker: can I have a pipe wrench
9:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Why not
9:19 PM - Dick Breaker: yess
9:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Melee is a feelings roll however
9:19 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: too much System Shock 2
9:20 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: (never too much System Shock 2)
9:20 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ^
9:21 PM - Dick Breaker: shame I have 5 and a shit feelings :v
9:21 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Walking into the room, what appears to be an ass on wheels is scooting about, as the roboticist sits at his desk, head in his hands, as he holds a lit cigarette, contemplating his career choice
9:21 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I pull out my translator to look like I'm prepared.
9:21 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: And attempt to translate the buttspeak!
9:21 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "BUTT"
9:21 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: It is not intelligent communication
9:22 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I stand there menacingly with my gun out, focusing my eye cameras on the roboticist.
9:22 PM - Dick Breaker: "How's that, robo? Curvy enough for you?"
9:22 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Interesting. The butt appears to be communicating using only assonance."
9:23 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ((badum tshhhh))
9:23 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "I wish I hadn't gone to college right about now. Look, don't ask about the bot, some fucking clown wanted him, and he wouldn't shut up!"
9:23 PM - Dick Breaker: "Well if the bot isn't the problem, then what do you need /ass/istance with?"
9:24 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I TAKE IT I CAN BLAST IT THEN? I MISS THE SHOOTING RANGE. SHOULDN'T HAVE TESTED THAT BREAN BAZOOKA OUT ON IT."
9:25 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Dont blow anything up in my lab! Last thing I need is security breathing down my neck for weapons discharge, already have enough work with those damn miners..."
9:25 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I ignore him, menacingly switch my pistol to lethal force, hold it sideways and blast the butt bot.
9:25 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WHOOPS."
9:26 PM - Dick Breaker: "As a professional breaker fixer I can safely assure you that the breakers in his phaser broke and initatied an accidental discharge."
9:27 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Do I need to unleash the security droids? I will, I do not have to deal with three idiots barging in here!"
9:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "IT'S LIKE THIS, BECAUSE OF THAT HOO-RIDE/NWA'S WANTED FOR A HOMICIDE."
9:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "PRESS THIS BUTTON, AND I'M SMOKING YOUR ASS."
9:28 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, YOU HEAR ME?"
9:28 PM - Dick Breaker: "Can we not? Last thing I need is some phaser blasts hitting a stray breaker,"
9:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Alright, let's not make asses of ourselves. Let's cut to the cheese. I mean chase. What did the clown want?"
9:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "That" he points to the remains of the robot"
9:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WELL, HE'S DEAD NOW. SO YOU GOT A LOT TO ANSWER FOR, PAL."
9:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "SHIT."
9:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I whack my head with my fist
9:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "GODDAMN LINGUISTICS MODULE'S OUTTA ADJUSTMENT AGAIN."
9:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "He's dead? What happened?"
9:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "HE LOST HIS HEAD. HA HA."
9:31 PM - Dick Breaker: "He blew a breaker."
9:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "We found out he actually /is/ a brainless idiot."
9:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Also he was fooling around with the vending machine."
9:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "I dont know which one of you is making a joke, and who's telling the truth"
9:33 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Would I lie?" I strike a pose and display my perfectly white teeth.
9:33 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Yes, yes you would"
9:33 PM - Dick Breaker: "Well, he did expect the vending machine to dispense something other than standard product. Didn't work out so well."
9:33 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "SIGH. CONDESCENDING TONE: HE TRIED TO MATE WITH A DRINKS MACHINE AND WAS FOUND WITHOUT A BRAIN."
9:34 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Right, and how am I involved?"
9:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "MESSAGE READOUT: ON.  "Look, I dont know why you want to do this, but, you've been asking for months. So, come on down, we'll remove your ass, and build you your god damn buttbot, just, leave me alone, alright?" MESSAGE READOUT: OFF."
9:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "THIS WAS FOUND ON HIS PDA. CARE TO COMMENT."
9:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "That's a pretty useful feature. Sometimes I wish I had a robo-brain."
9:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "I told you, he would leave me alone, so I built him a buttbot!"
9:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "YOU WERE THE LAST PERSON TO CONTACT HIM BEFORE THE INCIDENT."
9:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "YEAH, IT'S PRETTY DOPE."
9:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "...You aren't accusing me of taking his brain out, are you?"
9:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "INDEED WE ARE."
9:37 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Actually, that might've been me. I see a lot of patients, I can't be assed to remember what I do to all of them."
9:37 PM - Dick Breaker: "Are you making BRAINbots too?"
9:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "No, and I can prove it" He stood up, walking over to a door, and swiping his ID
9:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The door opened, revealing a surgical table, and several empty robot bodies along the wall
9:38 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Med bay sends me bodies to turn into cyborgs, and here's where it happens. If I had the brain, you'd fucking see it, feel free to look around"
9:39 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Ooh, neat."
9:39 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I stroll in and take a look around.
9:39 PM - Dick Breaker: are there any nearby breakers
9:39 PM - Dick Breaker: because if there are I wish to check the integrity of them
9:40 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I switch to scan mode and, well, scan the room for any biological matter.
9:40 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: That is a roll!
9:40 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Lemme get in rolz
9:40 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ah
9:40 PM - Dick Breaker: should scan the robotmaker, I bet he's hiding the brain inside him
9:40 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ^
9:41 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: obviously
9:41 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Room is MoronsInSpace
9:42 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: alright so how many dice do I roll?
9:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 2d6, since you are an android, you have a built in scanner
9:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: What's your feelings/lasers?
9:42 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight
9:42 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 3
9:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Rolling lasers
9:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh yeah you do the rolling
9:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I think?
9:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: No, not 2d6
9:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One than another
9:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: I meant that you have 2 of em :V
9:43 PM - Dick Breaker: oh hey he passed both dice
9:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yeah, you did get it
9:43 PM - Dick Breaker: he rolled a 2d6 and got 2 1s
9:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You do it well!
9:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah
9:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: woop
9:44 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Your scanners show no brain, but behind one of the cyborg chassis, is a clump of biomatter
9:44 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I swing around and point menacingly at the Roboticist.
9:44 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I BET YOU'RE HIDING IT INSIDE YOURSELF."
9:44 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "What?"
9:44 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Hiding what?"
9:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I scan him for the brain.
9:45 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "The damn brain?"
9:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 2d6 again I take it?
9:45 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Check his ass, he probably hid it in there!"
9:45 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yeah
9:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 1, 3
9:45 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: aw snap
9:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh shit nigga Laser Feelings
9:45 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: Laser Feelings
9:45 PM - Dick Breaker: "That takes 'smartass' literally."
9:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so... is he hiding a brain inside him? :v
9:46 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Other than the one in his head, no
9:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh well
9:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: he's still technically concealing a brain from us
9:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I blast him for lying and impeding the investigation
9:46 PM - Dick Breaker: that scumbag
9:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: do I roll or is that an auto success
9:46 PM - Dick Breaker: shit did you ever change your phaser back from kill
9:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: no
9:47 PM - Dick Breaker: ok just checking
9:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You need roll lasers :V
9:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: k
9:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 2d6 since I'm a soldier, right?
9:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Mhm
9:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 1, 2
9:48 PM - Dick Breaker: fukin hell you are nailing these rolls
9:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yep
9:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I'm probably gonna fuck up when I need to succeed the most
9:48 PM - Dick Breaker: thats the best time to fuck up
9:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yep
9:48 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: we're so good at this
9:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: C00LM3IST3R is the best detective
9:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: he says so himself
9:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: he watched over 100 hours of Law And Order: SVU
9:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You blow the roboticist's head off
9:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Found a brain!
9:49 PM - Dick Breaker: I jump backwards from robo's phaser blasting, holding my hands up to protect my face, "WHOA WHOA SHIT MAN, what the hell? You blow a breaker or something?"
9:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Its now all over the walls
9:50 PM - Dick Breaker: "Huh, guess he did have a brain on him."
9:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "SEE, HE WAS HIDING A BRAIN FROM US."
9:50 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Ooh, looks like that martian chick's brother from last week."
9:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "MY HUNCH WAS CORRECT."
9:50 PM - Dick Breaker: I pat robo on the back
9:50 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Lemme piece the thing together, we can bring that back to Bertha."
9:50 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I attempt to reconstruct the brain.
9:50 PM - Dick Breaker: "Good work, couldn't have done it without you."
9:51 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 2d6
9:52 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: 3, 1
9:52 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: my numbers 4 btw
9:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You actually manage to piece the brain together, picking out the bits of skull
9:55 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Hey, it worked. "
9:55 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Let's take this back."
9:55 PM - Dick Breaker: "A job well done. gang."
9:56 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yaay
9:56 PM - Dick Breaker: I heft my pipe wrench over my shoulder and stick a finger under my belt
9:57 PM - Dick Breaker: I'm inviting our cream nazi friend to watch
9:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: is there anything I could loot from Roboticist's room?
9:57 PM - Jimmy Russels has been invited to chat.
9:57 PM - Jimmy Russels entered chat.
9:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: like a second gun so I could dualwield? :v
9:57 PM - Jimmy Russels: ((HONK))
9:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: No, he was a roboticist, not a soldier
9:57 PM - Dick Breaker: I guess there aren't any circuit breakers to examine the integrity of?
9:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hello whoever you are
9:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aw
9:58 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I'll just keep on lookin'
9:58 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: some day, C00LM3IST3R will get to look like Chow Yun-Fat. some day.
9:58 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So, going back to the medbay?
9:58 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: yep
9:58 PM - Dick Breaker: guess so
9:58 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not going to examine the clump of biomater Cool scanned?
9:58 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh yeah
9:59 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "HANG ON."
9:59 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: well we did already get the brain
9:59 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I uh, investigate the clump of biomatter
9:59 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "What's up?"
9:59 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "NOT A BRAIN. BUT MIGHT BE INTERESTING."
9:59 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Moving some of the cyborg chassis asside
9:59 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also, we probably should hide the roboticist's body
9:59 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You see what appears to be a squiriming, black mass
9:59 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well I'm gonna do the sensible thing and scan it
10:00 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: shit nigga double laser feelings
10:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Welp
10:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Two questions
10:00 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: what is it, and can I eat it?
10:00 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "What the hell is that?"
10:00 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well, could I eat it if I was a human I mean
10:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: It is a giant mass of black, brain worms
10:01 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And you could, but that's not a good idea
10:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: good thing I'm a robot
10:01 PM - Dick Breaker: man why didn't you add "if so, how delicious would they be"
10:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "KEEP YOUR DISTANCE."
10:01 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: >good thing i'm a robot
10:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "BRAIN WORMS."
10:01 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: it begins
10:01 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Zorhansen worms? My eternal nemesis, I knew it."
10:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I thoroughly decontaminate the area where the worms are.
10:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: with my blaster pistol
10:01 PM - Dick Breaker: "Better not let those things loose. I ain't cleaning the mess after this becomes a horror game."
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: roll?
10:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Ye
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: fukkit
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 5, 3
10:02 PM - Dick Breaker: Can I join in the blasting?
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so one's Laser Feelings
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and one's a fuckup
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: finally
10:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Which isnt a success
10:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Laser feelings is just the question
10:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So over all, it's a failure
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I've never been happier to fail a roll :v
10:02 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yep
10:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The worms scatter into a nearby vent
10:02 PM - Dick Breaker: oi
10:02 PM - Dick Breaker: I wanted to shoot too
10:03 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Oh shit, they're out now."
10:03 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: He rolled first and shot first
10:03 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And fucked up
10:03 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Gentlemen, we saw nothing."
10:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "BETTER GET A FLAMETHROWER."
10:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: anyway, we should still get rid of the body
10:03 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Can probably find one in the medbay. Or at least some pipewrenches for when they infect the AI."
10:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I propose we just dunk the headless corpse into one of the cyborg armors
10:03 PM - Dick Breaker: "Stuff it in the hole we got the worms out of."
10:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I mean there's no way this can backfire
10:03 PM - Dick Breaker: "I got a pipe wrench handy, actually."
10:04 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "One outta three then."
10:05 PM - Dick Breaker: "Think brain worns like bananas?"
10:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "NO. THEY LIKE BRAINS."
10:06 PM - Dick Breaker: "Well they could like bananas too no need to be racist."
10:06 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Do bananas have brains?":
10:06 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "I propose we find out immediately. Scan that shit, Coolio."
10:06 PM - Dick Breaker: "Maybe, who knows?"
10:06 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((The fucking doctor))
10:06 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((Doesnt know if bananas have brains))
10:06 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: scannin'
10:07 PM - Dick Breaker: I hold a banana out for Cool to scan
10:07 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: (((My god it's like actual SS13)))
10:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I scan it
10:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and fail
10:07 PM - George Melons: ((It's a banana.))
10:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "DIAGNOSIS: INCONCLUSIVE."
10:07 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: While you learn that banana's fucking obviously dont have brains
10:07 PM - Dick Breaker: isnt that 3 a pass?
10:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah but the 4 isn't
10:07 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Bruce probably now has some sort of terrible space cancer from the exposure to the scanner
10:07 PM - Dick Breaker: ah
10:07 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: but i wasnt holding the banana
10:08 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Replace Bruce with Dick
10:08 PM - Dick Breaker: gg
10:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: now that you mentioned Coolio, I'm reminded of Dracula 3000
10:09 PM - Dick Breaker: "Well that got us nowhere."
10:09 PM - Dick Breaker: I proceed to eat scanned banana
10:09 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: where Coolio awakens a vampire while on a spaceship cause he's looking for weed
10:09 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Wait, he might have feelings!"
10:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Double cancer
10:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: For eating the scanned banana
10:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Scanana
10:09 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: Brainana
10:09 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and at the end of the movie Tiny Lister fucks a sexbot while they're flying the ship into the sun
10:09 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Anyway, let's head to the medbay, the brain is starting to come apart. And smell."
10:09 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: it's an incredible movie
10:10 PM - Dick Breaker: "Hang on, I got this."
10:10 PM - Dick Breaker: I wrap the pieced together brain in 3 banana peels to hold it together
10:10 PM - George Melons: (aren't brains like semi liquidic)
10:10 PM - Dick Breaker: "There, just like a Christmas present."
10:10 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I nod. "This is why we have engineers, ladies and gentlemen. Solving the hard problems in life."
10:11 PM - George Melons: (unless you cooled it down it would kinda go.... splorch)
10:11 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: shut up with your logic dude
10:11 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((Shh)
10:11 PM - George Melons: *un logics his logic*\
10:12 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I gesture for the others to follow and finally make my way out the medbay.
10:12 PM - Dick Breaker: proceeding
10:12 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah I'm goin' with em
10:13 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Wait, to the medbay?
10:13 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You say out of it, but you're at robotics :V
10:13 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yep
10:13 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: yeah to it, woops
10:14 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You arrive back, and find Bertha in her office, devouring one of her lunches
10:14 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WE HAVE RECOVERED THE BRAIN."
10:14 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, YO."
10:15 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Heyo, Jabba. We got the brain."
10:15 PM - Dick Breaker: I knock lightly twice on Cool's metallic head with my pipe wrench, saying, "What tinman said."
10:15 PM - Dick Breaker: "Even wrapped it up for you."
10:15 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I offer the brainana ensemble to her.
10:15 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: She looks up, disgusted
10:16 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "I meant to look for the cause of it! And why is it in pieces!"
10:16 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "UNCOOPERATIVE SUSPECT."
10:17 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Well, it's not /really/ in pieces."
10:17 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "I fixed that."
10:17 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "HE DESERVES A RAISE."
10:17 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "You heard the man. Or machine, not sure."
10:18 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Wait what? Uncooperative suspect? Is this even the clown's brain?"
10:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I'M NOT A MAN/OR MACHINE/I'M SOMETHIN'/IN BETWEEN."
10:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WE BELIEVE SO, YES."
10:19 PM - Dick Breaker: I nod, affirming this
10:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I give a thumbs up and a blinding smile.
10:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "And where did you find it?"
10:20 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "In a brain-jacking, ass amputating villain's body."
10:20 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Suffice to say, we took care of him."
10:20 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Be as specific as possible"
10:20 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "INDEED."
10:20 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST."
10:20 PM - Dick Breaker: "Yup,"
10:21 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((Brb to piss))
10:23 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "You know, I need to file a report for this, I need details"
10:23 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Alright, well there was a buttbot. And a suspicious character that had built it."
10:24 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "And then he didn't have a brain, and we had one, after some negotiation."
10:24 PM - Being tracked by the CIA left chat.
10:25 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Define negotiation"
10:26 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "AS NON-COMBATANT PERSONNEL, YOU CANNOT ACCESS THIS INFORMATION WITHOUT SUBMITTING THREE FILLED OUT COPIES OF FORM 2453-A TO THE CAPTAIN."
10:26 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "What he said, you're not authorized to know.
10:26 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "
10:26 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: She's not buying your shit
10:27 PM - Dick Breaker: I nod, scratching my ass with my pipe wrench in the meanwhile
10:27 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Who wants to roll feelings to try and get it past her?
10:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: should I roll for Feelings to try and convince her?
10:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hah
10:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well I'm a robot
10:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so uh
10:27 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 1d6
10:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: perhaps Bruce should
10:27 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i'll try
10:27 PM - Dick Breaker: Bruce
10:27 PM - Dick Breaker: Smoothtalk her
10:27 PM - Dick Breaker: fuck a way out of this for us
10:27 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: How many d6 do you think you deserve?
10:27 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: 3 for my natural sexiness  http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/B1
10:28 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Only one, because after years of working with you, she fucking despises you
10:28 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: sometimes you have to take one for the team, Bruce
10:28 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: this is one of these times
10:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: neat!
10:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: wait i have to roll over
10:28 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and if we fail I'll just shoot her and blame it on the brain worms
10:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: oops
10:28 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: With passion, you want to roll higher :V
10:28 PM - Dick Breaker: I lean over to Cool and whisper, "Psst, hey, robo. This broad sure is asking a lot of questions. What if she's working with the brainworms?"
10:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not buying your shit at all, she reaches a hand under the desk to hit some sort of button
10:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: An alarm sounds
10:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I blast her
10:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Fucking
10:29 PM - Dick Breaker: "Oh shit she's working with the branworms"
10:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "YOU'RE CORRECT, DICK."
10:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Hell
10:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 2,3
10:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: alright, so
10:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "I knew it. A Zorhansen worm sympathizer."
10:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Question first
10:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: question: how much time do we have before security barges in?
10:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: About thirty seconds
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight
10:30 PM - Dick Breaker: another question
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can we barricade the door somehow
10:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Only get one babe
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: maybe with her body
10:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :V
10:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You can try
10:30 PM - Dick Breaker: Knowing this ship inside and out, I probably know of any and all crawlspaces
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I grab her body with my android strength
10:30 PM - Dick Breaker: there ought to be one in here, I expect
10:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Why would a ship have a crawlspace into one of the administrative head's office?
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and strategically place her against the door
10:30 PM - Dick Breaker: air vent then
10:30 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ryan, this is star trek
10:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: should I roll?
10:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: why /wouldnt/ it
10:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: That'd be feelings
10:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Since it's certainly not a scientific procedure
10:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I help him lift the body.
10:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: seeing as I'm a robot, I take it I only get one die?
10:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Gross, I have to actually touch her."
10:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: But you're a soldier, you're stronger
10:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So, 3d6 total
10:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: noice
10:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: +1 from me helping?
10:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yeah
10:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: That's the third d6
10:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: neat-o
10:32 PM - Dick Breaker: I proceed to unscrew the covering on a nearby airvent then, or open any hidden cubbyholes that administrative persons could use to escape or whatever
10:32 PM - George Melons: (fuckin robutts man)
10:32 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: whoops
10:32 PM - George Melons: (also incoming shitcurity)
10:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: we nailed it, and got a question
10:32 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: only one die succeeded
10:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yep
10:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: your numbers 3 and you roll over tho
10:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Actually, feelings is roll over
10:32 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ohhhhh yeah
10:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So, two pass, one question
10:32 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: noice
10:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Whats your question?
10:32 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: alright
10:33 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: any secret passages?
10:33 PM - Dick Breaker: nigga that's my job I should know this stuff by default
10:33 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I bet she's got a shortcut to the freezer or something
10:33 PM - Dick Breaker: I probably crawled under here a dozen times to fix the breakers she popped trying to microwave too much at once
10:33 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The only airvents are big enough only for small service robots to pass through
10:33 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not a chance in hell of making it through
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can I widen an airvent somehow
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh wait
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: Data, you've got a grenade
10:34 PM - Dick Breaker: yes
10:34 PM - Dick Breaker: blow that vent open
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yep
10:34 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Let me just say
10:34 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Blowing a hole in a space ship
10:34 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Is a terrible idea
10:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: im well aware
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: we'll be careful
10:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: after all, i'm a DOCTOR
10:34 PM - Dick Breaker: I imagine that we're more in the middle of the ship anyway
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: he's a surgeon
10:34 PM - Dick Breaker: not near any space
10:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: with grenades :smug:
10:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah that too
10:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Says who? :V
10:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: When did I give you details on the position of med bay
10:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I figure a medbay is something you'd put in the middle of a ship
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: I AM the guy who knows the ship inside and out
10:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Shh
10:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Try it
10:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I pull out my scanner and scan her body for any traces of brainworms.
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: wait
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: guys
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: GUYS
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: WHAT IF
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: WHAT
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: IF
10:35 PM - Dick Breaker: I LUBED US UP
10:36 PM - Dick Breaker: WITH BANANAS
10:36 PM - Dick Breaker: SO WE COULD FIT IN THE VENT
10:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: actually I still have the pda
10:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: it's lubed up
10:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: we could use that lube
10:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: somehow
10:36 PM - Dick Breaker: good, saves a banana then
10:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also your solution doesn't involve a grenade
10:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: it is thus an Inferior solution
10:37 PM - Dick Breaker: shit
10:37 PM - Dick Breaker: can I at least wrap the grenade in a banana peel
10:37 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: nobody's stopping you
10:37 PM - Dick Breaker: so when it explodes it evenly distributes bananay lubricant evenly
10:37 PM - George Melons: (my logic's acting up)
10:37 PM - Dick Breaker: "OK, Bruce, before you blow that open, here."
10:37 PM - George Melons: (isn't blowing up a grenade in a pressurised space station a bad idea)
10:37 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: can i scan the ham planet first?
10:38 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: man this really is SS13: the rpg
10:38 PM - George Melons: (Oh, it'll be fine.)
10:38 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: when we're playing it, at least
10:38 PM - Dick Breaker: I remove a banana peel from the brainana and wrap the grenade in it
10:38 PM - Dick Breaker: "Trust me, I'm an engineer."
10:38 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: nigga you cant have my grenade
10:38 PM - Dick Breaker: I ain't taking it faggot
10:38 PM - Dick Breaker: I give it back to you
10:38 PM - Dick Breaker: but +1 banana peel
10:38 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: oh, nevermind then
10:38 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: good call
10:38 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Excellent work. Now let's scan the ham planet for any traces of worms."
10:39 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I do so, for the third time, pay attention Ryan you pos.
10:39 PM - Dick Breaker: ^
10:39 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i will gm this myself don't think i wont
10:39 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Roll
10:39 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: how many d6
10:39 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Lasers, 1d6 since you aren't a robot
10:40 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: but i am a doctor, wouldnt i know what to look for?
10:40 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And before you say "I'm a doctor" you're a fucking shitty one
10:40 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: dammit
10:40 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ha
10:40 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: still a doctor
10:40 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: He didnt know if bananas had brains
10:40 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i passed
10:40 PM - George Melons: He's not a banana doctor.
10:40 PM - George Melons: Why would he know?
10:40 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Good for you
10:40 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Bad news, she had no brainworms
10:41 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You shot a healthy (well, non-infected) woman in the face
10:41 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Good news, everyone. She doesn't have brainworms. She's just fat."
10:41 PM - George Melons: Maybe it was just regular insanity
10:41 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well, I take it that since we killed her Bruce's the only remaining doctor
10:41 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and he won't tell anyone
10:41 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so we're in the clear so far
10:41 PM - Dick Breaker: "What if we destroyed the worms when we killed her though?"
10:41 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Why would the ship have two doctors?
10:41 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: exactly, im the only doctor it needs
10:42 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "That makes perfect sense, Dick. I'm glad I thought of it."
10:42 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: basically what I'm saying is that we're in the clear since Bruce can just say she was infested
10:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: No, I mean only two
10:42 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Now, how do we shut off that alarm?"
10:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: No one would believe him :V
10:42 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "THEY DIE ON THE HOST'S DEATH. PHEW."
10:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You hear knocking at the door
10:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "SECURITY, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP"
10:42 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "BRUCE, HURRY."
10:42 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Shit."
10:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "THE SECURITY IS PROBABLY INFESTED BY NOW TOO"
10:43 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I search for escape opportunities.
10:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I yell in the direction of the door
10:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "STAY BACK, BRAIN WORMED ZOMBIES"
10:44 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The small vent is still there
10:44 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And still too small
10:44 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: Anything else?
10:44 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Dick, how thick are the walls around here?"
10:45 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nope
10:45 PM - Dick Breaker: "I'd say about 6 or 7 breakers."
10:46 PM - Dick Breaker: oh oh
10:46 PM - Dick Breaker: there has to be an access panel or something
10:46 PM - Dick Breaker: maybe I can control some parts of the ship with her computer
10:46 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You can try
10:46 PM - Dick Breaker: are there any access panels
10:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WE NEED TO COME UP WITH A BATTLE PLAN."
10:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "FIRST, WE GET OUT OF HERE."
10:46 PM - Dick Breaker: access panels around y/n
10:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Her personal computer is on the ship's network
10:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Lasers roll to hack it
10:47 PM - Dick Breaker: oh good
10:47 PM - Dick Breaker: I'm hackin that shit
10:47 PM - Dick Breaker: lasers is roll under?
10:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yes
10:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 1d6
10:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: dude the rules are literally one page :v
10:48 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :V
10:48 PM - Dick Breaker: good thing I picked 4 fo dat shit
10:48 PM - Dick Breaker: IJ;OGFDSOJUHGF
10:48 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Why did you roll 2d6?
10:48 PM - George Melons: FOOL
10:48 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Both are failures anyways
10:48 PM - Dick Breaker: Well I have savvy
10:48 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i thought you said your score was 5
10:48 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Your attempt ends up with the door sliding over, fatty's corpse slumping over
10:48 PM - Dick Breaker: shit did I
10:48 PM - Dick Breaker: wait
10:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: fuck
10:49 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: you mentioned it earlier
10:49 PM - Dick Breaker: I think I did
10:49 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i think
10:49 PM - Dick Breaker: no yeah its 5
10:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I dive behind the corpse
10:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Where is it stated?
10:49 PM - Dick Breaker: look I even got a little notepad of shit
10:49 PM - Dick Breaker: Richard Breaker
Savvy engineer
5



(1) bananas, ripe
(3) banana peels
(1) pipe wrench
(1) phaser
10:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Okay
10:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 5 is still just a question
10:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not a pass :V
10:49 PM - Dick Breaker: hm
10:49 PM - Dick Breaker: what should I ask?
10:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: I dont know
10:49 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Boom
10:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Question done
10:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :3
10:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: HOW THE FUCK DO WE GET OUTTA THERE, PRONTO?
10:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: goddammit
10:50 PM - Dick Breaker: I wasn't asking you faggot
10:50 PM - Dick Breaker: that doesn't count
10:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Fine
10:50 PM - Dick Breaker: how the fuck do we get outta here alive, pronto?
10:50 PM - George Melons: ...disguise as the fatbitch
10:50 PM - George Melons: say it was a false alarm
10:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Shoulda thought about that before killing two innocent people
10:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: they weren't innocent, ok
10:51 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: one was hiding a brain from us
10:51 PM - Dick Breaker: "BRUCE, I'VE GOT IT
10:51 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "What is it?"
10:51 PM - Dick Breaker: "You're the doctor, so you'll need to do this part."
10:51 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: other was trying to access stuff beyond their classification level
10:51 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Alright, I've /got this/" I give a quick thumbs up.
10:52 PM - Dick Breaker: "Cut open Bertha's corpse, and have Cool climb inside it, and imprsonate her. Tell them it was a false alarm. And we'll hide under the desk."
10:52 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I'M READY."
10:52 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Oh gross, getting inside her. But alright, I'll do it. For the fight against the brainworms!"
10:52 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: She's missing a head
10:52 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I cut her open.
10:52 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: that can be fixed
10:52 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Also
10:52 PM - Dick Breaker: "You just gotta cut her open right, Cool's the one going inside."
10:52 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: After Dick's failed hack
10:52 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: is there a trashcan anywhere nearby
10:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The doors slide open, and Fatty's corpse falls to the ground
10:53 PM - George Melons: oh
10:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nope
10:53 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Oh."
10:53 PM - George Melons: oh no
10:53 PM - Dick Breaker: but she's fat
10:53 PM - Dick Breaker: she eats a lot
10:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You are now face to face with a five man security team
10:53 PM - Dick Breaker: probably packaged food
10:53 PM - George Melons: *shitcurity
10:53 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ^
10:53 PM - Dick Breaker: how does she not have a trash can
10:53 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: She's a messy hamplanet
10:53 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "HIDE BEHIND THE DESK, FRIENDS."
10:53 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I blast on the security team.
10:53 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "TAKE THAT, BRAIN WORM PUPPETS."
10:54 PM - Dick Breaker: can I reattempt hack
10:54 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I hop behind the desk and help him out by firing, too.
10:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: First the firing
10:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So, Cool, Bruce, lasers skill
10:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight
10:54 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: uh, how many d6?
10:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I'm a soldier, and I was facing the door
10:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 1d6 for Bruce, cool is a soldier, so 2d6
10:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so can I get 3 d6s pretty please
10:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Hmm
10:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Fine
10:55 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yay
10:55 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: neat
10:55 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: woops
10:55 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: whoops
10:55 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You all suck
10:55 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: :V
10:55 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: One question
10:55 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: uh... how do I not die
10:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Go back in time, undo what you did
10:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Whic
10:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You cannot do
10:56 PM - Dick Breaker: ok, my turn?
10:56 PM - Dick Breaker: reattempt hack!
10:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Right
10:57 PM - Dick Breaker: I'm a savvy engineer with 5 lasers what do I roll
10:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Extra d6 for being prepared this time
10:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 3d6 lasers
10:57 PM - George Melons: QUICK USE THE BACKDOOR PROXY TO GET ACCESS TO THEIR MAINFRAME
10:57 PM - Dick Breaker: 2d6 then?
10:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Admiral of the Fleet: 3d6 lasers
10:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: NIGGA
10:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh god I'm getting flashbacks to 24's computer stuff
10:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: I LITERALLY SAID IT
10:57 PM - Dick Breaker: I sent it at the same time
10:57 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I FOUND IT IN THE ASCII CODE
10:57 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Just roll
10:57 PM - Dick Breaker: well 1 pass and a question
10:58 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Question first
10:59 PM - Dick Breaker: Can I have instant admin access to every possible command to the ship for this incredible pass?
10:59 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not with one pass
11:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You have access to medical records, and administrative commands
11:00 PM - Dick Breaker: Proceed to wipe sweating bullets forehead with sleeve. "Cover me boys, this is dfficult. It's machine code."
11:00 PM - Dick Breaker: Does admin command let me seal the door?
11:00 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can you please just close the door
11:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nope
11:00 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so that I don't get riddled with lasers
11:00 PM - Dick Breaker: there, see?
11:00 PM - Dick Breaker: I can't
11:00 PM - Dick Breaker: so what CAN I do
11:00 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Admin commands cover the following
11:01 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Alarms, calling an escape shuttle, firing the escape pods, sending out a mass message, and self-destruct
11:01 PM - George Melons: ...jesus
11:01 PM - Dick Breaker: I can self destruct but I can't close an office door
11:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: set off an alarm and hope the blaring horn throws the security team off
11:01 PM - Dick Breaker: Trigger alarms on the exact opposite side of the ship, for starters
11:01 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: An alarm is already going :V
11:01 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh yeah fuck
11:01 PM - Dick Breaker: Then disable alarm
11:01 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Hamplanet triggered one, and they're ship wide
11:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The security is already here
11:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: They wont just go away
11:02 PM - Dick Breaker: shhhh
11:02 PM - Dick Breaker: step 1 disable alarms
11:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And you only get one use of the computer
11:02 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Is that what you want to do?
11:02 PM - Dick Breaker: no wait
11:02 PM - Dick Breaker: shit
11:02 PM - Dick Breaker: hmm
11:02 PM - Dick Breaker: mass message
11:02 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: fire the escape pods
11:02 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: fire the escape pods right now
11:03 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I wholeheartedly support this
11:03 PM - Dick Breaker: welp ok then
11:04 PM - Dick Breaker: fire escape pods
11:04 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You fire all escape pods
11:04 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: No one is getting off this ship now
11:04 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And you hear security trying to force the door open
11:04 PM - Dick Breaker: "There, it's done. The brainworms are sealed."
11:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "NOW, LET'S GET OUT OF THIS ROOM."
11:05 PM - Dick Breaker: "Now the universe will never have to face the horror of the brainworms."
11:05 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Perfect. Let's roll, men."
11:05 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Well, they could still call the shuttle
11:05 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Or kill you and land the ship somewhere
11:05 PM - Dick Breaker: not if we take it first
11:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "BATTLE PLAN."
11:05 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: time for some REAL SS13
11:05 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: lets do this
11:05 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: question: does the ship have an armory
11:06 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I assume so
11:06 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: well it is well-armed
11:06 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: if it does let's make it our priority and hopefully pick something with more collateral damage potential
11:06 PM - Dick Breaker: "Blow open a wall with that grenade and lets get rolling, unless you've got something else in mind."
11:07 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "I want to save it, it'
11:07 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: s useful for operations."
11:07 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Just open the doors, I can handle this.
11:07 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "
11:07 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: c'mon we don't have time
11:08 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Open the doors?
11:08 PM - Dick Breaker: open doors?
11:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: this doesn't sound like a good idea
11:08 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ok I hide behind the hambeast's corpse first
11:08 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i'll talk my way outta this
11:08 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You open the doors then
11:08 PM - Dick Breaker: offer sex to each security guard
11:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And are face to face with 5 members of security
11:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Along with a large security robot behind them
11:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "HALT, PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!"
11:09 PM - George Melons: what you have to do, is relax your kegels, and start in a low tone- wolololoLOLOLO and embrance your inner eldritch energies
11:09 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I put my hands up. "Gentlemen, what seems to be the problem?"
11:09 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "You fired every damn escape pod on the ship, and killed two people!"
11:10 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "WE'RE FIGHTING THE BRAIN WORM THREAT."
11:10 PM - Dick Breaker: "It was blown breaker."
11:10 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Who did?"
11:11 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "According to my schedule, I've been doing operations for the past two hours."
11:11 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: At the mention of the brain worm
11:11 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: All five men raise their weapons
11:11 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: fuck.
11:11 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Woah, woah. Cool it guys."
11:11 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: alright so they're obviously controlled by the worms
11:11 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: Data, nade them
11:12 PM - Dick Breaker: "Hey Cool, you're the robot expert here. Can robots be controlled by brainworms?"
11:12 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: ((No, but they can be controlled by people controlled by brainworms))
11:12 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: just pretend I said this
11:13 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Now, I'm sure we can all come to an understanding."
11:13 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "My autograph is incredibly valuable, and I'm willing to sign anything you have on you."
11:14 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "THEY ARE CONTROLLED BY BRAIN WORMS. WE MUST TAKE NO RISKS."
11:17 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: "Prepare to fire" the captain says, as the barrels begin to glow
11:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: wait, the captain?
11:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: shit
11:18 PM - Dick Breaker: Close the doors?
11:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight, I roll out of cover and blast on the security team
11:18 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "EVASIVE MANEUVERS!"
11:18 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hoping the rest either follow suit or close the door in time
11:18 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Roll science to use computers to roll doors
11:18 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I roll the grenade out and shut the doors
11:18 PM - Dick Breaker: closing the door
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Grenade first
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Lasers!
11:19 PM - Dick Breaker: after the grenade yes
11:19 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and I pass once
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 1d6, since you arent a specialist, and not prepared
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: how many d6
11:19 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well it's somethin'
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: kk
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Wait, Bruce is rolling it
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: oops
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yeah
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Failure
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You throw the pin!
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: welp, nice to see i still can't roll
11:19 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And then the doors close
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: not grenades or dice apparently :v
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Oh shit."
11:19 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I stuff it in hambeasts body
11:19 PM - Dick Breaker: "The vent the vent!"
11:20 PM - Dick Breaker: or that
11:20 PM - Dick Breaker: I was gonna say roll it in the vent
11:20 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Rolling lasers again :V
11:20 PM - George Melons: hambeast would be much more entertaining
11:20 PM - Dick Breaker: yep
11:20 PM - Dick Breaker: go for it
11:20 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: 1d6 again?
11:20 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: welp, the best outcome here is C00LM3IST3R getting a nice new red paintjob
11:21 PM - Dick Breaker: I take cover behind the desk
11:21 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also I take cover as far away from both bruce and the body as possible
11:22 PM - Dick Breaker: "Is this operation standard procedure, Bruce?"
11:22 PM - Dick Breaker: I ask from behind the desk
11:22 PM - George Melons: is this like a frag grenade, or a thermal detonator style grenade
11:22 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yeah, another 1d6
11:22 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: brb
11:22 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Frag
11:23 PM - George Melons: well that's not as bad
11:23 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Actually, this is SS13!
11:23 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: It's acid smoke!
11:23 PM - George Melons: no LSD smoke
11:23 PM - George Melons: with mutagen
11:23 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Because having three blind, deaf, retards on LSD is a good idea
11:24 PM - Dick Breaker: it wont matter if it explodes inside hambeasts sealed corpse
11:24 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and LSD doesn't even work on robots, checkmate
11:24 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: or does it?
11:24 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: 1
11:24 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i win :v
11:25 PM - George Melons: rolling lower is good right
11:25 PM - George Melons: right
11:25 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: yeah'=
11:25 PM - Dick Breaker: for lasers yes
11:25 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: woo
11:25 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: we're alive for another few minutes
11:25 PM - Dick Breaker: I wanna hack again
11:26 PM - George Melons: If she was fat enough, you would see her bulge slightly, and her body would asorb the energy
11:26 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You stuff it into the corspe
11:26 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And the body begins to melt into a messy, bloody puddle
11:26 PM - George Melons: or that
11:26 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Now there's a quick way to burn fat! I should rec that to my patients."
11:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "I PROPOSE WE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY."
11:27 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "LET'S GET THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE."
11:27 PM - Dick Breaker: "While that's a great idea and all robo, it's difficult, considering the exit is guarded by brainwormed security."
11:27 PM - Dick Breaker: "What if..."
11:28 PM - Dick Breaker: "We open the door, throw the brain we got out there, then close it real quick. Maybe the brain will attract the brainworms, and they will eat the guards."
11:28 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "THEY ARE ALREADY BRAINWORMED, DICK. IT WON'T DO SHIT, MY MAN."
11:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I heft the brainana souffle.
11:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "It's our only shot.
11:28 PM - Dick Breaker: "Or if they are controlled by brainworms, the worms will crawl out of their brains, and go after the new one."
11:28 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "
11:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "CHANCE OF SUCCESS..."
11:29 PM - Dick Breaker: I ready myself to open and close the doors quickly. "Ready, Bruce?"
11:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "CALCULATING..."
11:29 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can I roll to calculate that with my pimp-ass robo brain? :v
11:29 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "Sure, Dick." I prepare to throw the brain.
11:29 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yeah
11:29 PM - Dick Breaker: "Never tell me the odds."
11:30 PM - Dick Breaker: Open door and close it as soon as the brain is out
11:30 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: how many dice? 2?
11:30 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yep
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: kk
11:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: and how many dice for brain-tossin
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: DOUBLE
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: LASER
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: FEELINGS
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: BITCH
11:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: STILL A FAILURE
11:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: OOOOOOOOO
11:31 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: BUT YOU GET TWO QUESTIONS
11:31 PM - Dick Breaker: ask what the odds are :V
11:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: yknow i just realized
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well, first: how do we get out of there?
11:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: at the end of laser feelings it says
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and second: what /are/ the odds?
11:31 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: "You can change your action if you want to, then
roll again."
11:31 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah but I don't want to
11:32 PM - Dick Breaker: but still, roll again
11:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: First, in a body bag, unless you pull a miracle out your ass and run past the guards
11:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: yeah, after the questions are answered
11:32 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Second, a million to one
11:32 PM - Dick Breaker: 1 page of rules and we still fucked up
11:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: you can try again
11:32 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: welp
11:32 PM - Dick Breaker: oi, what about my and Bruce's door open brain toss door close routine
11:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ok whats the dice for throwing the brain
11:32 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: quit ignoring us
11:32 PM - Dick Breaker: ^
11:32 PM - Dick Breaker: dumpass
11:33 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah that was what I was calculating the odds for
11:33 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Whos throwing it?
11:33 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: I am, i have it jfc
11:33 PM - Dick Breaker: me and bruce obvs
11:33 PM - Dick Breaker: or bruce is throwing
11:33 PM - Dick Breaker: oh*
11:33 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 1d6
11:33 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Feelings
11:33 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh no
11:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I'd say that's
11:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: More Than A Feeling
11:34 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ok that wasn't a good joke I'm sorry
11:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: i prepared to throw it
11:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: so 2d6?
11:34 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Fine
11:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ive rolled the worst i possibly can
11:34 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: on the last 4 rolls now
11:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You throw the brain over the security guards, who dont even notice it
11:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And they return fire
11:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: With, actual laser guns
11:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: probability doesn't work that way, Data :v
11:35 PM - Dick Breaker: CLOSE THE DOOR CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR
11:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 1d6 feelings to dodge
11:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: alright so if they return fire
11:35 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so will I
11:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: tell my luck that :c
11:35 PM - George Melons: aeoiu
11:35 PM - George Melons: johnmadden
11:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: laser feelings
11:35 PM - Dick Breaker: Do I need to dodge considering I'm hiding behind the desk
11:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: are we going to live
11:35 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Probably not
11:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: ok
11:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: failed to dodge
11:35 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: that was expected
11:36 PM - Dick Breaker: nooo not the sexy doctor
11:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: noooo
11:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: QUICK DAN CLOSE THE DOOR
11:36 PM - Dick Breaker: IM TRYING TINMAN
11:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Too late, there is now sexy doctor all over the walls
11:36 PM - Dick Breaker: I SAID CLOSE THE DOOR LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO
11:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: But, now you can try to close the door
11:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yep, but they shot first
11:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: failing that, I jump out and shield sexy doctor with my body
11:36 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: shit
11:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You cant close it, after the shoot
11:36 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: they*
11:37 PM - Dick Breaker: Can't close it?
11:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: No, you can, but not in time to save Bruce
11:37 PM - Dick Breaker: ah, rip
11:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Which is why I said to wait
11:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Now, you can attempt
11:37 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: Bruce no :c
11:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And since it's rushed, not prepared
11:37 PM - Dick Breaker: well I'm closing the damn door now thar Bruce is rip
11:37 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 2d6
11:37 PM - Dick Breaker: 1 pass
11:38 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The door closes before a second volley can be unleashed
11:39 PM - Dick Breaker: I desire to hack into the database once more, preparing myself as preparedly I can get
11:39 PM - Dick Breaker: I will get into the machine code
11:39 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "FUCK. POURING OUT A FORTY FOR MY NIGGA BRUCE."
11:39 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: 2d6 lasers
11:39 PM - Dick Breaker: double critpass
11:40 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: about fucking time
11:40 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ::v
11:40 PM - Dick Breaker: hacking is hard :c
11:41 PM - Dick Breaker: I reprogram the security bots to be on our side and kill the obviously brainwormed guards
11:41 PM - Dick Breaker: all of them
11:41 PM - Dick Breaker: in the entire ship
11:41 PM - George Melons: (was the password ICECREAM)
11:41 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: nah, SWORDFISH
11:41 PM - George Melons: (password)
11:42 PM - Dick Breaker: "Alright tinman, I'm in! Let's do a little rewriting..."
11:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Getting access to the security system is one thing, especially since its a medical console :V
11:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Roll again to reprogram
11:42 PM - Dick Breaker: double pass bitch
11:42 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You turn the robots on the guards
11:43 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You hear the sounds of gunshots out the door
11:43 PM - Dick Breaker: "Nailed it. I knew those C++ courses would come in handy.""
11:43 PM - Dick Breaker: "Or was that Javascript..."
11:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: now, the important question
11:43 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: did you reprogram them to be friendly to us as well
11:43 PM - Dick Breaker: I specifically said to do that
11:44 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: oh yeah
11:44 PM - Dick Breaker: 11:41 PM - Dick Breaker: I reprogram the security bots to be on our side and kill the obviously brainwormed guards
11:44 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: just reread that
11:44 PM - Dick Breaker: >on our side
11:44 PM - Dick Breaker: "Cool, run a scan on the other side of the door. See if you can figure out who won that fight."
11:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: doin just that
11:45 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: whoops
11:45 PM - Dick Breaker: you had one job
11:45 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You go back to your previous work
11:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yep
11:46 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And set the security bots to attack everyone
11:46 PM - Dick Breaker: excluding us
11:46 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You are locked out of the console now
11:46 PM - George Melons: uwot
11:46 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nope, double fail, they're after everyone now
11:46 PM - Dick Breaker: um
11:46 PM - Dick Breaker: what
11:46 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: that was me
11:46 PM - Dick Breaker: he was rolling to scan
11:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I was rolling to scan nigga
11:47 PM - Dick Breaker: I already passed my roll to reprogram
11:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Right, sorry
11:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You get the results
11:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: The door is made of 100% dooranium
11:47 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Per volume
11:47 PM - Dick Breaker: incredible
11:47 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: why did I laugh
11:48 PM - Bruce Donkchamp: because you're wasted
11:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: dude I had two beers
11:48 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 6 hours ago
11:48 PM - Dick Breaker: "Cool, stick your roboear against the door and tell me what you hear."
11:48 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Lightweight
11:48 PM - George Melons: i chugged tequila to see what it tasted like
11:48 PM - George Melons: was about... a eigth of the bottle
11:48 PM - George Melons: spit most of it out
11:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight, imma try engaging my aural whatevers
11:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I uh try to hear through the door
11:49 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also lol you spit out perfectly good alcohol
11:49 PM - George Melons: I never drank before
11:49 PM - Dick Breaker: anyway what does good ol cool hear
11:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: wait you never drank before and you fucking chugged tequila
11:50 PM - George Melons: YES!
11:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: holy shit like goddamn
11:50 PM - George Melons: well
11:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: nothing to say here, folks
11:50 PM - George Melons: I suppose hard lemonade kinda counts
11:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: anyway I should roll for the hearing thing
11:50 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: 2 dice?
11:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yep
11:50 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Science
11:50 PM - Dick Breaker: lasers? :v
11:51 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: fuck
11:51 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: why do I keep fucking FAILINg
11:51 PM - Dick Breaker: "Well?"
11:51 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "NOTHING ASIDE FROM THE ANGUISHED SCREAMS IN MY BRAINCAGE."
11:51 PM - Dick Breaker: "I see..."
11:52 PM - Dick Breaker: Now that I got the console unlocked as feep as possible
11:52 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: feep?
11:52 PM - Dick Breaker: deep
11:52 PM - Dick Breaker: I wish to seal all doors in the ship, for starters, so that they can't be opened except from this console, and EXCLUDING a series of doors that create a path towards a hangar where I want to prep an escape shuttle
11:53 PM - George Melons: put a timer for self destruct
11:53 PM - George Melons: gotta have that epic escape
11:53 PM - George Melons: with explosions
11:54 PM - Dick Breaker: and put a timer on for self destruct
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: You chose no fightercraft for the perk
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: So no shuttle
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And the escape pods are fired
11:54 PM - Dick Breaker: you said there was an escape shuttle before
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Takes 10 minutes to call
11:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: uh what? we chose well armed and something else
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: And alerts the entire ship
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Well armed and stealth
11:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also horrible circuit breakers
11:54 PM - Dick Breaker: the ship is already on alert :V
11:54 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: But they're told about the shuttle
11:54 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Everyone aboard will try to get there
11:55 PM - Dick Breaker: yo
11:55 PM - Dick Breaker: I sealed the doors too
11:55 PM - Dick Breaker: remember?
11:55 PM - Dick Breaker: seal all doors except those that make a path for me and Cool to the shuttle
11:55 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Well armed, anyone with access to the armory can and will blow doors down to save their life
11:56 PM - Dick Breaker: will still take time
11:56 PM - Dick Breaker: Cool, your thoughts?
11:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: Anyways, roll lasers twice
11:56 PM - Admiral of the Fleet: First for shuttle call, second for self destruct
11:56 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I say we make sure we're the only people with access to the armory
11:56 PM - C00LM3IST3R-001: in other words I want a bazooka
11:57 PM - Bruce Donkchamp has changed their name to MeltingData.
11:57 PM - Dick Breaker: ok I guess we're going to the armory first
11:57 PM - Dick Breaker: then I seal all doors except for those leading to the armory and shuttle for us
11:57 PM - Dick Breaker: rolling I guess :v
11:57 PM - Dick Breaker: 2 passes first roll 1 pass second
Sunday, May 18, 2014
12:00 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: All doors up to the armory, and the shuttle are open
12:00 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Meaning, security is still open
12:00 AM - Dick Breaker: "Doors to the shuttle and armory are open Cool, you ready?"
12:00 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "LET'S DO THIS."
12:00 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "FOR BRUCE."
12:00 AM - Dick Breaker: But, I had the robos reprogramed to fight for us c:
12:01 AM - Dick Breaker: so that gives us some nice backup
12:01 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I use my built in speaker to play I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
12:01 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: really loudly
12:01 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: as we run to the armory in slow-mo
12:01 AM - Dick Breaker: "FOR BRUCE!" I raise my pipe wrench above my head and open the doors, heading to the armory
12:03 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You run to the armory, and can hear gunshots against a door
12:03 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: The security robots are trapped in the robotics room, which you pass
12:04 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight I grab the biggest gun I can plausibly use
12:04 AM - Dick Breaker: Same
12:04 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: which, me being a cyborg, is probably the biggest gun in there
12:05 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and hopefully a MESON
12:05 AM - George Melons: is there a SMART gun
12:05 AM - George Melons: or pulse rifles with the flamer underneath
12:05 AM - MeltingData: a big stick
12:05 AM - MeltingData: like, /really/ big
12:05 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: The armory is mostly empty, havnig been claimed by security officers after the alarm went off
12:06 AM - George Melons: like \thiiiiiis\ big or /THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS/ big?
12:06 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: All thats left is a single stun baton, and a box of flashbangs
12:06 AM - George Melons: ...
12:06 AM - George Melons: you guys didn't loot the dead shitcurity?
12:06 AM - Dick Breaker: and why didnt my reprogrammed robot come with us
12:06 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight I grab the flashbangs and go back to score a second pistol off a dead security guard
12:07 AM - Dick Breaker: I grab the baton and go back to do the same
12:07 AM - Dick Breaker: then run the fuck to the shuttle
12:09 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You start sprinting down the hallway
12:12 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: Ryan
12:12 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: serious question
12:12 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Mhm
12:12 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: how high are you right now
12:12 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Not at all
12:12 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well your response time says otherwise
12:12 AM - MeltingData: this isnt even his final form
12:13 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: I was waiting for you guys to do something
12:13 AM - Dick Breaker: uh
12:13 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You get there, doors locked, no one is there
12:13 AM - Dick Breaker: we were going to the shuttle
12:13 AM - George Melons: i'm actually on xanax right now
12:13 AM - Dick Breaker: I explicitly opened the doors tho
12:13 AM - George Melons: though I kinda fell asleep
12:14 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: I mean, doors there, besides yours are locked
12:14 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: No one else is there
12:15 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can I scan for hidden movement
12:15 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Go right ahead
12:15 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: god
12:15 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: FUCKING
12:16 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: dammit :v
12:16 AM - Dick Breaker: fuck it
12:16 AM - Dick Breaker: ok so
12:16 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You spawn a team of security guards!
12:16 AM - Dick Breaker: the doors to the shuttle that I opened are not open?
12:16 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hash
12:16 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: tag
12:16 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yolo
12:16 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: No, the other doors, besides yours, are locked
12:16 AM - Dick Breaker: ah
12:16 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: The shuttle arrives in 10 minutes
12:16 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ah fuck
12:16 AM - Dick Breaker: ahh
12:17 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: forgot about this
12:17 AM - Dick Breaker: welp
12:17 AM - Dick Breaker: get me and Cool in the room where the shuttle docks
12:17 AM - Dick Breaker: and close the doors
12:17 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah let's barricade ourselves
12:17 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I toss a flashbang at the security dudes and hightail it with Dick to the shuttle docking bay or whatever
12:18 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: flashbang roll passed like a fukken champ also laser feelings
12:18 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Question then?
12:18 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: hm
12:19 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: can I save my question (that isn't a question)
12:19 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nope
12:19 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: in this case: is anything gonna be on the shuttle?
12:20 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nope, its automated
12:20 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: aight awesome
12:21 AM - Dick Breaker: well then, guards flashbanged, me and Cool are in the shuttle hangar
12:21 AM - Dick Breaker: seal door while guards are blinded
12:21 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Lasers
12:21 AM - Dick Breaker: 1 pass
12:21 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I stand by with another nade just in case
12:22 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: The door shuts, and locks
12:23 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: alright, is there anything we could use to block the door?
12:23 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Some chairs, a vending machine
12:24 AM - Dick Breaker: hello vending machine, my old friend
12:24 AM - Dick Breaker: is that door the only way in here?
12:24 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: mindful of what happened to Admiral Honk, I carefully approach the vending machine
12:24 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: pick it up with my cyborg strength and use it to block the door
12:24 AM - Dick Breaker: I stay on alert, phaser at the ready
12:24 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and I failed
12:24 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: fucking
12:24 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Door is the only way in
12:25 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You drop the vending machine, breaking it
12:25 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: eh
12:25 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I pick it up again
12:25 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: and try to do it again :v
12:25 AM - George Melons: was there at least something tasty inside
12:25 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: FUCK
12:25 AM - Dick Breaker: it wont be dispensing drinks but it will serve its purpose
12:25 AM - Dick Breaker: or not
12:26 AM - George Melons: >it tips over, trapping you
12:26 AM - George Melons: vending machines actually cause quite a few deaths
12:26 AM - Dick Breaker: just push it off with cyborg strength
12:26 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah
12:27 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You drop it, and it shatters
12:27 AM - Dick Breaker: he is a cybord he is immune to vending machine succubi and their charms
12:27 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: did that actually happen, Ryan?
12:27 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: ah
12:27 AM - Dick Breaker: Block door with chairs
12:27 AM - Dick Breaker: they should be light enough to not warrant a roll
12:28 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah let's do this
12:28 AM - Dick Breaker: just a big fucking pile of chairs
12:28 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: The door is blocked
12:28 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I think I remember this from Max Payne 2
12:28 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: it worked there
12:28 AM - MeltingData: no it didnt
12:28 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: shut up
12:28 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: :v
12:29 AM - Dick Breaker: door is locked either way
12:29 AM - Dick Breaker: this is just extra security
12:29 AM - Dick Breaker: and now, after grabbing a drink from the shattered vending machine, I wait for the shuttle, phaser at the ready for any shenanigans
12:30 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Nothing happens
12:30 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You get on the shuttle, blocking literally every exit, and zoom away
12:30 AM - Dick Breaker: nailed it
12:30 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: we're alive!
12:30 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: well, 2/3
12:30 AM - Dick Breaker: Highfive my robro
12:30 AM - Dick Breaker: 2/3 aint bad
12:31 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: "HIGH FIVE."
12:31 AM - Dick Breaker: I recriprocate said action
12:31 AM - Dick Breaker: ie returnfive
12:32 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: so, that's it, eh?
12:32 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You just killed hundreds of people
12:32 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Yep
12:32 AM - Dick Breaker: we won
12:32 AM - Dick Breaker:  http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/B1
12:32 AM - MeltingData: welp :v
12:32 AM - Dick Breaker: in memory of bruce 2014-2014
12:32 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: Never doing a one shot again, you murdered my space mystery ono
12:33 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: they were controlled by brain worms, fuck 'em
12:33 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also what was the mystery
12:33 AM - MeltingData: i blame drunk ciaster
12:33 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: you can tell us now
12:33 AM - Dick Breaker: I think the real mystery is how you thought we would follow along with it
12:33 AM - MeltingData: he shot everyone we tried to talk to
12:33 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: I'm not drunk, dammit
12:33 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also ^
12:33 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: also I did that 'cause I thought it'd be hilarious
12:33 AM - MeltingData: it was
12:33 AM - Dick Breaker: consider this repayment for Celestine being a stupid twat
12:33 AM - MeltingData: dayum slow burrrrnnnn
12:35 AM - Dick Breaker: c:
12:35 AM - Dick Breaker: well in any event
12:35 AM - Dick Breaker: this was fun
12:35 AM - Dick Breaker: I enjoyed this
12:35 AM - Dick Breaker: oneshots are nice
12:35 AM - MeltingData: yeah, was pretty fun
12:35 AM - Admiral of the Fleet: You were supposed to track down the source of the worms (the miners)
12:35 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: wait
12:35 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: what miners?
12:35 AM - Dick Breaker: the robot dude mentioned them
12:36 AM - MeltingData: aight well in any case
12:36 AM - MeltingData: ima go to bed
12:36 AM - Dick Breaker: something in passing like, "first the miners now this"
12:36 AM - MeltingData: i dont sleep enough :v
12:36 AM - MeltingData left chat.
12:36 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: yeah I'm off too, it's almost 7 AM! damn
12:36 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: see y'all
12:36 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001: was fun
12:36 AM - Dick Breaker: later
12:36 AM - Dick Breaker: good work robro
12:36 AM - C00LM3IST3R-001 disconnected.