[RGRE] Anon is Twilight's Father (working title, HIATUS)

Ignore my dibs, other Anons can do stuff with this idea.  I don't know if I can make paternity fraud funny.

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calling dibs super fucking hard on this one.

BTW the implication here is that Anon had sex with Velvet, got teleported to Earth where time passes much slower than in Equestria, then zapped back to horseland by Twilight 20 horseyears later.  Twilight is Anon's daughter despite them being pretty close in age.

also: worldbuilding posted by anon:
>Current Twilight grew up different from the rest of her family.
>No blue in her coat or mane from her father
>Smart enough to know how pone genetics work
>When questioned Velvet admits to cheating on Night Light once.
>A human that disappeared soon after they slept together
>She was glad that he didn't try to ruin her marriage.
>Twilight uses a familial summoning ritual that calls her parents to her.
>Uses a drop of blood or a strand of hair or whatever.
>Anon pops in, having been summoned through time from days after he and Velvet met
>Reason spell was forbidden was because it caused the missing pony cases that it was used to solve.

THIS SUMMARY WILL BE REMOVED WHEN I START WRITING


green so far:

>BZZT
>Oh Jesus, where are you?
>Is this your bedroom?
>What the fuck, this is your bedroom?!
>Why are you here?!
>Was it because you fucked a horse?!
>Was that the prerequisite for going home? Bestiality?
>Was the universe just trying to prove a point by making you have sex with animals?
>.....well, things seem to be as you remember them.
>Your shitty apartment is still shitty.
>It's also still yours, so clearly you haven't been missing for the past year you've spent in Equestria.
>The time is.... 4:45.
>Huh.
>That isn't actually too long after you disappeared the first time 'round.
>Welp.
>So now you have to pretend that this entire experience didn't happen, or let everypon-BODY think that you're a crazy man.
>......
>......
>....You wonder what you're going to have for din-BZZT
>as;dfjsl;dg
>The universe is a fucking NIGGER
>"-worked! Spike, it worked!"
>Oh hey, you're back!
>...oh god, you're back.
>"Creature! My name is Twilight Sparkle! Who (and what) are you?"
>....Twilight?
>Dude, as in that hottie you just stuck your dick in all of ten minutes ago?
>"...why do you smell like sex? Are you an incubus?"
>Oh ew, your pants are still wet with her marecum.
"So, uh, 'Twilight', huh? Any relation to a 'Twilight Velvet'?"
>Twilight Sparkle's mouth falls wide open in surprise
>The light catches on her pointed canines.
>"...how do you know my mom?"