Depression

Yeah. So I'm depressed. I have lots of difficulty getting to sleep. My diet is laughable since I hardly attempt to cook for myself and I don't have the money to eat out all the time. Speedrunning has been insanely draining these last couple of weeks. It feels like it takes every amount of energy I have to finish a run, and when I do finish a run, I don't get the sense of enjoyment anymore, I just feel tired. I'm about ~this~ close to just calling off speedrunning for another month to play Runescape/Melee/whatever, but people would hate that (many people told me to straight up stop playing RS last time I did this). Not only that, but the thought of doing anything really just feels like a chore and leaves me exhausted. I set an appointment for therapy a couple weeks ago, but it isn't until early November, so I'm stuck feeling like this until then.

If you wanted to know why I haven't been using webcam and occasionally why I don't use mic, and also why I've been bitter on stream these last few weeks, this is probably the primary reason. I'm sorry, I know y'all wanted me to go out and get Crit WR and get 2:45 in 1.5 (not really, I'm convinced that 90% of you are just silently waiting for me to come back to 2FM), but I'm in no position to speedrun right now. It sucks, since this was my go to hobby that would make me happy, but I can't do anything, not until I get help.

Sorry.