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All Star Battle! TRIPLE PINKIE PONKDOWN

Nov 18th, 2016
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  1. ALL STAR BATTLE!
  2. TRIPLE PINKIE PONKDOWN!
  3. OPEN THE GAME!
  4.  
  5. >Be Anon
  6. >Getting home from school
  7. >Without Pinkie
  8. >Which is strange
  9. >She's been... kind of avoiding you after school the last few days
  10. >Mind you, not at school
  11. >AFTER school
  12. >Why?
  13. >The only thing you can think of that might be special about today is, well...
  14. >It's your birthday
  15. >And she's probably got a party set up for you
  16. >But why?
  17. >Did it really require avoiding you after school?
  18. >She hasn't even been riding the bus with you
  19. >You approach and open your front door
  20. >"SURPRISE!"
  21. >GAH FUCK!
  22. >You stumble as you're surprised by the sudden shouts coming from your house
  23. >With effort you get back up to your feet
  24. >Who the fuck...?
  25. >A few of your classmates from school were in there
  26. >And, of course,Pinkie-
  27. >-s
  28. >Pinkies. Plural.
  29. >You not sure you're seeing what you're actually seeing
  30. >Because if you're seeing what you're seeing-
  31. >Then you're seeing three Pinkie Pies
  32. >Three
  33. >THREE NIGGAS, THREE
  34. >IT WAS THREEEEEEEE!
  35. "Pinkie?"
  36. >"Yeah?"
  37. >They all speak in unison
  38. >Well, this is a thing
  39. >There are three Pinkies now
  40. >One of them walks up to you, wraps her arms around you and gives you a firm kiss on the lips
  41. >After a second, you open up your own, feeling her breath and tongue hit your own
  42. >For how heavenly it feels, she breaks it quickly with a blush
  43. >PP -"Happy birthday Nonny."
  44. "I- what- Thf- Three-"
  45. >PP -"Oh, right, that probably confuzzled your brain."
  46. >PP -"You see, when I started planning your party, I wanted to make it extra super duper special for YOU, but I couldn't think of something awesome enough to show how much I wanted it to be super extra awesome, so rather than do it alone, I thought 'Why have one Pinkie plan this party, when I can have MORE?'"
  47. "Wait, what?"
  48. "So, with some help from Twilight, some magic, and a little thing called multiverse theory, I-"
  49. >She looks back, remembering the other two Panks
  50. >PP -"WE present-!"
  51. >The other two walk up and join in
  52. >"THE TRIPLE PINKIE SUPER SPECIAL PARTY SUPREME!"
  53. >So Pinkie, wanting to give you the best party possible, traversed the MULTIVERSE to make sure you had the best party possible
  54. >Goddamn that warms your heart
  55. >PP -"Anon, may I introduce to you-"
  56. >She points to one Pinkie
  57. >PP -"BSSNRLDKV2 Pinkie-"
  58. >-she points to the other one-
  59. >"- and 6GJINUB0BBU Pinkie!"
  60. >"HI!"
  61. >Both of them speak and put their hands out for you to shake
  62. >You tentatively shake them, still a bit freaked out from the whole... "Three Pinkies" thing
  63. "How about, rather than that whole jumble..."
  64. >You pipoints to BSS... Pinkie 2-
  65. "We call you Pank, and-"
  66. >You point to Pinkie 3-
  67. "-And you, Ponk?"
  68. >They all look at each other and shrug
  69.  
  70. >The party, held in a nearby park as opposed to your house, was nothing short of indescribable
  71. >Each Pinkie did a separate part for the party
  72. >Your Pinkie did all of the decorating, and it shows
  73. >While the park may have seemed pretty normal beforehand, it was now festive and lively
  74. >Like, Andrew WK lively
  75. >Seriously, it was amazing
  76. >Pank took care of the food
  77. >And you swore you had never tasted food that good
  78. >Hell, if you weren't too sure, you swear your teeth looked BETTER than they did before
  79. >Mind you, you did brush your teeth every day and such
  80. >But even then, they were literally PEARLY WHITE
  81. >And at stomachache you had before is gone!
  82. >And you're not tired like you usually are!
  83. >That Pinkie can cook!
  84. >Finally, Ponk did the music
  85. >And, somehow...
  86. >It was glorious
  87. >You had heard songs you had never heard before
  88. >You had felt emotions you had never FELT before
  89. >Every piece was nothing short of angelic
  90. >Truly, it was the perfect party
  91.  
  92. >Even the perfect party must end, as yours did
  93. >It slowed down, with people leaving one by one, eventually leaving only you, the three Pinkies and Twilight
  94. >T -"Hey Anon, how was the party?"
  95. "It was awesome! The food, the decorations, the music, everything was PERFECT."
  96. >BB -"Thanks! I try!
  97. >...who the hell was that?
  98. >Ponk -"Shhh!! BB, quiet down!"
  99. >BB -"What? He was complimenting me."
  100. >What in all...?
  101. >Ponk notices you looking at her oddly
  102. >She sighs and walks towards you
  103. >Ponk -"Alright, so this might be odd to explain, but-"
  104. >A white miniature robo-horse leaps out from Ponk and onto you, catching you by surprise and knocking you on your ass
  105. >BB -"Hi! I'm Ballroom Blitz!"
  106. >Getting a good bearing after being kocked back, you notice the mecha-pony has a yellow mane and wings
  107. >Ponk -"BB! That's not how you introduce yourself to other ponie- people!"
  108. >BB -"It's not my fault! I'm your Stand, ergo a representation of your psyche! I can't help it if I like to bear hug ponies I've never met!"
  109. >Pank, Pink, T, You -"You have a Stand?"
  110. >Ponk -"Oh, you know what Stands are?"
  111. "Yeah, Twilight, Pinkie and I have Stands as well."
  112. >Pank -"So do I!"
  113. >You all have Stands?
  114. >No shit
  115. "So, what does Ballroom Bli-"
  116. >BB -"I'm right here!"
  117. "Right. So what do... you do?"
  118. >BB -"I can produce hypnotic effects in ponies via music! I also have an onboard sound mixer and record table!"
  119. >That actually sounds a bit like your Stand
  120. >An outrageously pink hammer pops into existence in Pank's hands
  121. >Pank -"Mine lets me do ANYTHING for 10 seconds as long as I'm happy!"
  122. >Alright, this is Stand Sharing time, apparently
  123. >Pinkie summons Guns n Roses
  124. >Pink -"I can SHOOT things!"
  125. >T -"I can put someone to sleep and manipulate their dreams, as well as travel through them physically to their location."
  126. >They all look at you expectantly
  127. >You sigh as you summon Feathery
  128. "It improves my singing voice, and alters reality based on the song I'm singing."
  129. >Silence permeates the park
  130. >Pank -"You know what this means?"
  131. >She slams her Stand on the ground, causing it to shake
  132. >You and Twilight are knocked back into a pair of conveniently placed lawn chairs, as a perfect recreation of the Cell Games arena spawns from the very earth before you
  133. >She CAN do anything
  134. >Pank -"TRIPLE PINKIE SUPER STAND BATTLE TIME!"
  135. >Wait, Stand Battle Time?
  136. >That could end badly
  137. >As in, only one Pinkie leaving the ring in one piece badly
  138. "Are you sure this is a safe idea, Pank?"
  139. >Pank -"It'll be fine! Watch!"
  140. >Pank looks over to Pinkie
  141. >Pank -"Ey Pinkie, try to fire a round out of bounds!"
  142. >Pinkie gets a confused look, but does as she's told, aiming for a nearby tree
  143. >*BANG*
  144. >The bullet flies before hitting an invisible wall right on the boundary of the ring
  145. >Pank -"See? None of our Stands have any effect outside the ring, and no one else can enter it! It's not like I'd willingly endanger anyone like that,"
  146. > T-"Well that solves that problem, but how are you all going to determine who wins? Knockout?"
  147. >Pank -"Nooooot necessarily."
  148. >She snaps her fingers, and three health bare pop into existence above the arena with each Pinkie's name and their Stand's right next to it
  149. >Pank -"Last to lose all their health wins!"
  150. >Kay, you had to admit, you didn't expect that
  151. >Pank -"Everybody ready?"
  152. >The other two Pinkies gave a nod
  153. >Well, it's a school night
  154. >But who gives a shit LIVE STAND BATTLE
  155. >You and Twilight give one as well
  156. >"3!"
  157. >"2!"
  158. >"1!"
  159. >"OPEN THE GAME!"
  160.  
  161. >Alrighty, time to kick some Ponka booty!
  162. >Gotta show Nonny you're the top Pinkie here!
  163. >But who to go for first?
  164. >Guns n Roses out, you aim for the first Pinkie you see
  165. >Sorry Ponk, but this is how it's gotta be
  166. >A large BANG rings out as you fire, sending your first shot straight for center mass
  167. >With lightning-quick reflexes, her Stand swipes at it, knocking it out of the way
  168. >But what she doesn't know is that Guns N Roses does more than shoot
  169. >It also blows stuff up!
  170. >You press the big red button and-
  171. >*BOOOOM*
  172. >The bullet explodes before Ponk knows what hit her, sending her flying into the invisible wall separating you and the outside
  173. >She hits is with a THWACK, and slides down slowly
  174. >"First attack!"
  175. >Time to go for a comb-
  176. >"[STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM]!"
  177. >Wha-
  178. >WHACK
  179.  
  180. >SURPRISE ATTACK!
  181. >An upward swipe fron Strawberries and Cream sends Pinkie flying upwards, and you jump after her
  182. >A combination of strikes ending with a swing from above sends Pinkie straight into the floor
  183. >As you descend, you pull a flip and bring your Stand above your head, bringing it down with a fervor
  184. >As you swing down however, Pinkie rolls to the side, bringing out her Stand and firing a round at your direction
  185. >It misses by a hair, but she presses the big red button on the side of the gun, making it explode and knocking you straight into the ground
  186. >Ouchies
  187. >Someone's gonna get a whoppin' for that
  188. >As you try to stand up, a foot comes down on your back, slamming you back down
  189.  
  190. >Jumping off of Pank's back, you attempt a kick on Pinkie
  191. >She's prepared, however, and blocks it with her Stand
  192. >Using it as a foothold, you kick off and land safely on the ground
  193. >'Now'd be a good time to use me, Pinkie!'
  194. >But which song should I play?'
  195. >'I've got one in mind!'
  196. >https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU-VSGr0MnM
  197. >A soft tune begins to hum throughout the arena
  198. >As the song begins to play, you dash towards Pinkie, bringing your Stand's hoof straight into her face
  199. >She flies back, as she's unable to react in time, going straight into the invisible wall
  200. >Got ya!
  201. >Turning around, your Stand blocks Pank as she brings her hammer down onto you
  202. >Thanks to the song slowing her down, she can't quite slam as hard as she could, making the next few swings from her easily blockable
  203. >The two of you trade blows, Pank barely able to keep up
  204. >After a short rush, you finally connect a blow right into Pank's stomach
  205. >As you raise your arm, ready to knock her into the ground-
  206. >*BANG*
  207. >A bullet flies square into your back
  208. >Sh-
  209. >*BOOOOM*
  210.  
  211. >Teeheehee!
  212. >Ponk thought she was clever, putting something relaxing on like that to slow you down
  213. >It also calmed you down, helping you aim a lot easier
  214. >The two Pinkies fly right into the wall
  215. >Staying in your crouched position, you keep your eyes down the sights as you wait for the smoke to clear
  216. >It does after a second, and you aim for the Pinkie pile and watch as both begin to slowly rise
  217. >Not on my watch!
  218. >A bullet to the face knocks Ponk down again, and the music stops
  219. >Your attention is now turned to-
  220. >Where's Pank?
  221. >A quick scan around the arena yields no results
  222. "Where'd ya go Pank?"
  223.  
  224. >Oof!
  225. >Those bullets really have some kick to 'em
  226. >And they EXPLODE!
  227. >Hands shaking, you try your best to stand up
  228. >*BANG*
  229. >A shot rings out, and Ponk is down on the ground again
  230. >Oochie, that's gotta be the one that ends her
  231. >Looking up, you see each health bar floating up above the arena
  232. >Pinkie's in the lead, with you behind her slightly, and Ponk in last, nearly defeated
  233. >Time to bring Pinkie down to size!
  234. >But how?
  235. >...
  236. >An idea hits you
  237. >You leap an impossible height straight onto Pinkie's health bar
  238. >"Where'd ya go Pank?"
  239. "Up here!"
  240. >With all of your strength, you slam your hammer down on the health bar
  241. >It falls down on Pinkie, and a cloud of dust rises as the arena shakes
  242. >That should put her down for now
  243. >You land on the ground
  244. >Now to take care of Ponk
  245. >And you're not being slowed down by her music, so this should be a piece of-
  246.  
  247. >OoOoooOOOOOooof
  248. >That last shot was dead center on your face
  249. >And now your head hurts
  250. >But you're not gonna go down that easy
  251. >Even if you feel like you could any second
  252. >Pank lands as a large cloud of dust settles over the arena
  253. >Going in for the kill, you dash towards Pank, both of your Stands at the ready
  254. >Unlike before though, she catches your attack and is having an easier time retaliating
  255. >Have to end this quick!
  256. >Then you can move on to Pinkie!
  257. >After a rush of blows betwixt you, you land a hit on Pank's hand and she reels, giving you an opening
  258. >Now!
  259. >https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=89p8ya3ZdnQ (4:53 to 5:23)
  260. >You follow up a blow to the stomach with the mother of all Stand rushes
  261. >After a few seconds, you slam her onto the ground, continuing your attack
  262. >Nearing the end of the solo, your Stand throws Pank into the air, spinning and kicking her away
  263. >Alright... She's down...
  264. >You're stumbling as you run towards Pinkie
  265. >All...
  266. >All... I have...
  267. >to do now...
  268. >Is-
  269. >*BONK!*
  270. >A hammer to your head sends you flying, and you land, unable to move
  271. >Aaaaaaaaawwwww....
  272.  
  273. >[6GJINUB0BBU PINKIE/BALLROOM BLITZ]
  274. >[RETIRED!]
  275. >With a poof, Ponk disappears from view, reappearing on the ground in front of Anon and Twilight
  276. >Now she's done...
  277. >But she definitely took ya down a notch before going
  278. >Your stomach is gonna be hurting for a while
  279. >But now that she's out of the way, you can focus your attention on-
  280. >*BANG*BANG*BANG*BANG*
  281. >GAH!
  282. >You duck down as shots ring out
  283. >She's still going?
  284. >When the shots stop, you check yourself, making sure you weren't shreked
  285. >Nope. Completely intact!
  286. "Ha! Missed me!"
  287. >"Did I?"
  288. "Huh?"
  289. >She didn't hit you, she only hit the-
  290. >-ground around you
  291. >Oh
  292. >*BOOOOOOOOM*
  293. >[BSSNRLDKV2 PINKIE/STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM]
  294. >[RETIRED]
  295. >[WINNER: PINKIE PIE/GUNS N ROSES!]
  296. >https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PL8SYAgalTQoBwu-z1BF3H6j3Vl5i5C1Ru&v=tfhqaxhqQvI
  297.  
  298. >Pinkie pulled off a pose, holding her Stand across her shoulders behind her head with a smile
  299. >Goddamn
  300. >What a fight
  301. >You and Twilight applaud the display
  302. >Looking down from the arena, you stop clapping at the sight of the other two Pinkies
  303. >Both of the girls are currently lying on the ground, curled up into a ball
  304. "You okay there guys?"
  305. >Pank, Ponk -"Yeah."
  306. "Ya sure?"
  307. >Pank -"Yeah... hold on..."
  308. >She stands up wearily, summons her Stand, and slams it into the ground, making the arena disappear into the earth and flinging Pinkie onto the ground nearby
  309. >Walking over and grabbing her hand, you pull her up and dust her off
  310. >Pink -"How'd ya like the fight?"
  311. "It was great. Nice job out there!"
  312. >She blushes at the compliment
  313. >T -"So, how would you say this birthday was?"
  314. >You consider your words, before pulling Pinkie into a kiss
  315. >After a second of tongue-fencing action with Pinkie, you pull away
  316. "Perfect."
  317. >Pank, Ponk, T -"Awwww!"
  318. >{"CAUSE I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMOOOOOORE!"}
  319. >Everyone turns towards BB
  320. >BB -"What? I thought it was fitting for the moment."
  321.  
  322. <=====TO==BE==CONTINUED=====
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